I will never forget her name. It was Jai Miller*. In my mind, she was the perfect woman: beautiful, smart, funny … in short, she epitomized the prototype André 3000 so often sang about. Of course, we were only 16 at the time of our initial encounter, but that didn’t matter. In my pubescent mind, Jai was hands down the crème de la crème.

As study partners in math class, there was always this unspoken tension between us. Sadly, that tension would never be released. Why, you may ask? Well, before I ever got the chance to make my move, our resident football star convinced Jai that he was the man of her dreams. Even at that tender age, she was so sure that he would one day be her future husband. She then tried to act on that belief by offering him the purest Valentine gift she had to offer … her virginity.

I’ll never know how magical that night was for them … nor do I care to know. All I can attest to is the aftermath. A month later, the happy couple was no more, and all that Jai was left with was a broken heart and the herpes she contracted on that fateful night. For an evening that was initially meant to seal a lifelong bond between the two of them, she only walked away regret, and a life filled with prescription medications to treat her outbreaks.

But Jai’s story plays out all too often on Valentine’s Day. As a society, we tend to get so caught up in the commercialized lust of the day, only to lose sight of safety in the process. We fail to realize that one moment of weakness can lead to a lifetime of suffering.

So how can we avoid situations like this? For starters, we can work to limit our sexual partners. In doing so, we greatly decrease the likelihood of being exposed to diseases. In conjunction with the limiting of sexual partners, regular testing should also be instituted — by both parties. And finally, condom use has to become a sexual necessity, not an option.

Now I apologize if it seems like I’m preaching to the choir. That’s certainly not my intention. We’re all adults here, and have been engaging in STD prevention conversations for years — probably as early as my high school years with Jai. But just like her, the smartest people can allow emotions to block their ability to use logic. Even some of today’s biggest celebrities aren’t immune to poor sexual decision making. Just check out this list of celebs rumored to have contracted herpes.

Male Celebrities:
Bill Clinton
Derek Jeter
Brad Pitt
Michael Vick
Robin Williams
Dennis Rodman
Colin Farrell
Jason Kidd

Female Celebrities:
Janet Jackson
Mariah Carey
Sheryl Crow
Joumana Kidd
Paris Hilton
Britney Spears

In the end, I hope this all serves as a cautionary tale when embracing love on Valentine’s Day and beyond. By all means, pursue it wholeheartedly. But please, exercise caution … –dewayne rogers

*Not her real name.