Colin and Mia had been together two years when they hit their first dry spell. “We hadn’t had sex in a few weeks, and one night before bed she asked me how I was dealing with it,” says Colin (not his real name), a 38-year-old vice president at a Web start-up in Boston. “I told her I was masturbating,” he says. “She asked me where and how.” So Colin took a deep breath and told her: at the office, once a week or so, to Internet porn.

No one wants to be cheated on … and I mean no one. In fact, I can’t think of a single thing more painful than discovering that your loved one is intimately involved with someone else. (Well maybe watching a movie starring Ben Affleck …that’s also pretty painful.)

As I prepare for my annual series on cheating, I felt the need to get the pulse of the people. For most, the idea of getting caught is enough to steer you away from being unfaithful in your relationship. But what if there was absolutely no way that you could get caught?