Dear Fly Guy, When is it appropriate for a woman to pay for a date? We seem to be having a disagreement about this with the men in my office. Thanks for your help.

The walls were closing in on me last night as I diligently worked to finish my relationship manifesto (trust me people; this will be a must-read when it arrives in bookstores.) So with no desire to spend the rest of my night battling severe bouts of claustrophobia, I headed out at 2 a.m. to meet a friend who was still out partying with a few of her girlfriends.

Before I begin, I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure of what I want to accomplish by writing this. On the one hand, a small part of me wants to use this opportunity to express my optimism in the possibility of there one day being an “us.”

After endless amounts of debate, and over 500 entries, we finally have our Fly Guy summer love grand champion. Our winner is Ashley Gillespie, who hails all the way from Mississippi. With this submission, Ashley is the proud winner of $500 worth of clothes and merchandise from Rocawear and Roc4Life. Congratulations Ashley, and congratulations to all of our participants.

I thought I’d give you a brief reprieve from your hectic work day by supplying a Fly Joke of the Day. I haven’t shared one in a while, so I figured I’d provide a quick laugh while your boss has his/her back turned. We’ll get back to love and relationships shortly. Here’s one I just ran across.

If you’re in the Atlanta area this Friday Oct. 10, then come and hang out with me at Mood Lounge, as myself and colleague Dr. Tartt talk love and relationships. Check out the flyer inside for details, and email me at flyguychronicles@gmail.com if you have any additional questions. See you then.

The most important thing to remember when picking a first date locale is that you want it to be playful and a little bit unconventional. Every woman has gone on dozens of forgettable first dates — restaurants and movie theaters have been done to death. So how do you make your first date a memorable one?

Colin and Mia had been together two years when they hit their first dry spell. “We hadn’t had sex in a few weeks, and one night before bed she asked me how I was dealing with it,” says Colin (not his real name), a 38-year-old vice president at a Web start-up in Boston. “I told her I was masturbating,” he says. “She asked me where and how.” So Colin took a deep breath and told her: at the office, once a week or so, to Internet porn.

They say it’s hard to make long distance relationships work, but who really cares what “they” say. In my heart, I was so convinced that she was the one for me. So it didn’t matter what anyone else had to say. When it was time for her to move away, I made a solemn vow before her and God that I would give my all to make our relationship work.

In yesterday’s column, we discussed the lofty ideals of love in the piece “This Is What She Wants.” Judging by your comments, I could tell that many of you felt my friend’s desires for love were overly optimistic … too perfect. Some even said that it reminded them of being 15, or experiencing puppy love.