Let’s flash back for a minute. In Volume Four of the Fly Guy Chronicles, I detailed some of the top warning signs that your significant other might be crazy. I also asked for you to send in some additional warning signs based on your experiences. The response was phenomenal and your emails were hilarious. Here are the Top 10 Signs that someone might be crazy as determined by the Fly Guy Readers.1. They know your whereabouts even before you get a chance to tell them.

2. When she creates a secret online identity and starts emailing your exs and girls she thinks you might be dealing with.

3. He may be crazy if he NEVER uses the name on his driver’s license. (And I’m not referring to a nickname)

4. When he owns a top of the line vehicle, but that vehicle also doubles as his home.

5. When the girl knocks on your door and you don’t answer. She doesn’t know if you’re there or not, but she continues to stand there for a half hour knocking.

6. They tell you they will kill themselves if you leave them.

7. When you break up with them and they continue the relationship in their mind.

8. When he disrespects his mother.

9. When he coerces you to do or not do something by threatening your children…especially if they happen to be his children as well.

10. He always wants to stay on the phone with you while you are out with your friends.

Why didn’t you tell me I was being selfish? Every week I get so caught up in talking about my love life that I haven’t spent enough time helping you with yours. But today is a brand new day, and I’m about to save your life. How? By giving you three surefire signs that your significant other may be crazy. So pay close attention. And if the shoe fits, then use it to boot them out of your life.

Sign #1: Just lying all the time
Be honest with yourself. Your man lies. Actually the closest thing he ever got to being honest was…ummm….no he just lies. The sad thing is you actually think it’s kind of cute. You laugh it off and call him silly. Then he lies some more—about unnecessary things.

“Baby, I need borrow a few dollars. The bank put a temporary hold on my account so I can’t access my cash right now. They said they were upgrading it to platinum status since I’m such a great customer. It should all be cleared up in a couple of days.”

Are you serious? The longer you allow him to lie about the little things; the closer he gets to lying about the big things…the heartbreaking things.

Sign #2: The Questions Don’t Stop
Now this one is dedicated to the fellas. But don’t feel left out ladies. If your man has these same traits then feel free to apply them to your relationship. Okay fellas, does your woman question you obsessively about every little detail of your life? If so, then you may need to walk away while there’s still time. It may go a little something like this…

“Why did it take you 15 minutes to get home from work when your job is only 10 minutes away? What were you doing the other 5 minutes? And why are you getting your haircut today? You usually get it cut every 7 days and it’s only Day 5!!! And now that I think about it, since when did you start using Charmin toilet tissue? You only bought the store brand when I met you. Who are you trying to impress with 2-ply tissue?”

Now I’m not saying that she’s crazy…well yes I am.

Sign #3: The Jealousy Factor
Last but not least, we have to deal with the jealousy factor. Does your lady get jealous anytime you speak to another woman? Does she also get upset anytime someone is courteous to you in any way?

“Why in the hell did she just smile at you and say may I help you like she doesn’t see me sitting here!”

Ummm….baby, she is our waitress.

And what about you ladies? Is your man overprotective? Did he make you wear a turtleneck and sweat pants on your trip to Jamaica? Or what about the time he wanted to fight the judge in traffic court.

“I can’t believe that judge just disrespected me by calling you fine. I’m gonna wait around until he gets off so we can have a little talk.”

No honey, he was saying that he was giving me a fine for speeding.

(I’m not making this stuff up…it really happens.)

So now it’s your turn. If you have any more signs that someone might be crazy, feel free to send them in to flyguy@flyguychronicles.com.