I’ve often wondered how far someone would go to gain forgiveness after cheating. Well, a man in Virginia tested the scope of my thinking on the subject by standing on the corner during morning rush hour with a sign that said “I cheated. This is my punishment.” His wife agreed to take him back if he wore the sign all week.

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But their unconventional agreement made me think: Is embarrassment really the best way to gain forgiveness? Or is there a more appropriate way to display remorse? Let me know your thoughts.

Spotted At Weave and Gloss (Come on fellas, a girl sent me the link. I already know what you were thinking … “Why was The Fly Guy on WeaveAndGloss.com?)

Things haven’t been the same between us for quite some time. And while I managed to find fault in everything that you did, the true source of our problems derived from a singular source.

Me.

I wasn’t cheating; I wasn’t abusive; and I wasn’t placing my career before you. But yet and still, my pattern of behavior largely contributed to this current relational unhappiness that we share.

I’ve been taking you for granted.

When I initially pledged my devotion to you, I promised that I would always honor, respect, and cherish you. Sadly, my performance in the cherish department has left a lot to be desired over the past few months. What happened to me? Did I become too comfortable? Did I lose sight of what it truly takes to keep a woman happy?

Whatever the cause of this underperformance, I can only hope that it’s not too late to turn things around between us. I do appreciate you. I do adore you. And I certainly do recognize that my life isn’t the same without you. You truly are a special woman. And from this moment forward, I promise to never again allow you to feel unloved or unappreciated.

The Fly Question of the Day: Have you ever found yourself taking your significant other for granted? Or have you been on the other side where they have taken for granted? Share your stories.

Click Below To Listen To Carl Thomas’ “Special Lady”

The Lyrics:
Oh, I had an awful dream
That you were needing someone else’s love to take the place of mine
So I over came the distance
That challenged my persistence
I let my ego go and drowned my pride
And you ask why

You’re such a special lady
Though I haven’t told you lately
So let me be the first to let you know
Such a special lady
Though I haven’t told you lately
So let me be the first to let you know

One more thing I need to say
Is that I need you every day
It’s not the same ’till you come back to me
Girl I’ve loved you from conception
So if you follow my direction
I’ll lead you where you always need to be
Right next to me

You’re such a special lady
Though I haven’t told you lately
So let me be the first to let you know
Such a special lady
Though I haven’t told you lately
So let me be the first to let you know

Dear Woman,

I believe I owe you an apology. When we first met, there seemed to be an undeniable attraction between us. I think we can both agree on that point. But you told me that you weren’t interested in getting to know me unless I was willing to be your friend first. “Friendship is the key to all relationships,” is how I replied. “And if we never end up hooking up, then I’m ok with that since I would have gained a lasting friend.”

Looking back on things, I didn’t really mean that. I just thought that was what you wanted to hear at the time. And I honestly never thought that I’d ever have to live up to those words since the chemistry between us was so strong. But it’s been 4 months now, and I feel like we haven’t made any progress. When I try to press you for some information on where we stand, you give me that same “I enjoy your friendship, and it’s been great getting to know you” line.

Every time you say that, I can feel myself getting more and more irritated. So before I explode and say something that I know I’ll regret, I have a few questions for you. Why was it okay for you to rush into every other relationship in the past “because it felt right,” but with me you want to move at a snail’s pace and focus on developing our friendship? Why do you demand my attention like I’m your man, yet I never receive any of the benefits that would befit your king? And why am I always labeled impatient for wanting answers on where I stand with you?

We’ve all been hurt in the past, but this isn’t rocket science. Either you want me or you don’t. It’s just that simple … Or maybe it isn’t. Which is why I think I owe you this apology. I’m sorry for thinking that I could patiently wait while you made up your mind. I’m sorry for trying to be the type of man that you always prayed for, even though now that you’ve got me, you don’t know how to receive me. And I’m sorry that I actually respect myself too much to continue to be dragged through this charade while you “figure things out.”

I never wanted it to come to this, but I feel myself slowly starting to resent what I’ve become: a good man who’s running after a woman who doesn’t know what she wants. I promised myself that I would never do that. But it seems like I’ve been having trouble keeping promises across the board when it comes to you. So let me attempt this one last promise, and we’ll see how it goes. I promise to never bother you again with my desires to be with you. The truth is; I don’t want to be your friend. I’ve got enough of those. And having the extra people in my life only confuses things. I wanted a woman in my life that was also my friend … not the other way around. So I’m going to make my exit now. I hope that you one day find a man that will inspire you to finally make that leap. I’ve finally realized that I’m incapable of being that man. So with that being said, I’m sorry for wasting “our” time. Good Luck.

Sincerely Signed,

The Good Man That Was Supposed To Be Hard To Find That You Actually Found

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Your thoughts? Has anyone ever been on either side of that scenario? If so, explain what happened.

Fly Guy Note: Since I published today’s post, I’ve been receiving private emails from people wanting to know if what I wrote was something personal or hypothetical. For the record, it was completely hypothetical, although I’m sure that a lot of men can relate to the circumstances surrounding the letter. Can you?