(Fly Guy Note- I’m sure that the following story will resonate with more than a few men, as well as with the women that this issue also affects.)

A Cheating Man’s Story:
As much as it pains me to say this, I simply can’t deny this one fundamental truth about me: I’m a cheating man. It sounds so cold and callous when I say it like that, but it’s my reality. I am literally incapable of being faithful to a woman. I’ve tried to do right more times that I even care to recall, but it all ends the same way: with my manhood serving as the compass leading me to some new, undiscovered womanly territory. Once I plant my flag, then I’m off to the next conquest.

Shit, that sounds so cold.

I’ve often wondered what made me this way. I don’t have to think very hard though, because my mind instantly goes back to watching my daddy step out on my mom. That’s when I realized that if a man can’t be faithful to her, then surely no other woman deserves it.

I don’t like being this way, but at least I’m being honest with you right? Every other part of me is good … except this one flaw. So feel free to throw your judgmental stones at me. There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already said to myself. In the meantime, I’ll be listening to Anthony David’s “Cheatin Man.” He seems to feel my pain.

The Lyrics:

Honey I’m a good man
But I’m a cheatin’ man
And I’ll do all I can
To get a lady’s love

And I wanna do right
I don’t wanna hurt nobody
If I slip well then I’m sorry
Yes I am

When I was a young boy
I use to watch my daddy play
And in my heart I’d always say
He was wrong

He had to be crazy
Knocked stoned cold out of his mind
To be leaving my pretty momma all alone
She’d always sit patient and waitin’ then cussin’ and cryin’

And who would have to be there to comfort her
And I would have to look my momma
Right square in her eyes
And I’d swear that I would never hurt no one like that

Baby I’m a good man
But I’m a cheatin’ man
And I’ll do all I can
To get a lady’s love

And I wanna do right
And I don’t wanna hurt nobody
If I slip well then I’m sorry
Yes I am

Now that I’m older
I’ve found it’s time to settle down
Because I need some love around
To make me whole

But something is funny
Cus things I swore I’d never do
I find myself falling a victim to losin’ total control
Oh yea

Cus recently
I ran into
Someone that reminds me of you
And even though I know that kind of thing ain’t right

I’m finding myself caught up in lies
Tryin’ to swim against the tide
And as the stage gets set for drama
I can’t stop thinkin’ about my momma

I’m a cheatin’ man
And I’ll do all I can
To get a lady’s love

And I wanna do right
And I don’t wanna hurt nobody
If I slip well then I’m sorry
Yes I am

Click Below To Listen To “Cheatin’ Man”

The Scenario:

The emotions currently coursing through my veins are well, conflicted to say the least. Every part of my being wants to lash out at you for what you’ve done. I just can’t though. But the thought of you laying with another man takes me dangerously close to the edge… (sigh). And to think; you gave someone else the treasure that you promised would only be for me …

“F*ck!!!”

What’s crazy is that I really didn’t see this coming. Perhaps it was a bit foolish of me to think that you could never possibly cheat on me. After all, it’s not like I’ve been a total boy scout. And come to think of it, I’ve been caught more times than I care to mention. But time and time again, you would take me back despite my dirt. In a sick and twisted way, I think that may have even encouraged me to keep cheating since I knew you weren’t going anywhere.

“Why is this happening to me???”

I almost wish you would have left me instead. Then I would have been spared the pain of knowing that you could stoop to levels just as low as the ones that I have frequented many times before.

What’s crazy is that I don’t appear to be alone. Usher has gone through a similar situation as well, and laments about it in “One Hand.” So listen up; and if you’ve gone through a similar situation –from either side—then let’s talk about it.

The Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Me and my baby had the worst kind of fight
A lot of dirt slung up
When she hung up
I could tell something in her voice wasn’t right

Book the red eye back last minute
4a.m. and she ain’t home
Start dialing up her digits
She ain’t answering the phone

See headlights in my blinds
I’m losing my mind
6:45 in the morning, what’s going on
Don’t come up in here lying

She said sit down
Now baby we need to talk
She told me there was somebody else
And I had it coming

[B Section]
It was that room in Cancun
That stack of chips in Vegas
That college dorm in Georgia
That will forever remain nameless

I know I got no right to judge you, but it really hurts
And knowing I deserve it makes it worse

[Chorus]
Can’t count the times I did you wrong (on one hand)
Can’t count the times I made you cry (on one hand)
And while I told one too many lies
Never thought it’d turn around on me
Let’s call it even, and I won’t up and leave

I can count the times you did me wrong (on one hand)
I can count the times you made me cry (on one hand)
Every man you ever gave your love (on one hand)
Oh no, one (on one hand)

[Verse 2]
Breathing heavy, heartbeat pumping so fast
I gotta know right now, put it all out on the table
Brace myself before I ask
I’ma need places, names and numbers

Scratch that, tell me where he stay
Pull up on him with a message
That says before careful where you lay

How far did you let him go?
You best let me know
How many days, how many ways did he hit that
Did he make my queen his ho?

She said what’s done is done
I couldn’t think of nothing bad enough to call her
Guess I had it coming

[B Section]

[Bridge]
Don’t know what to do
Tryna to forgive and forget
But if I do, I know I’ll look like a fool
I did my dirt, and I made you hurt

How the hell you turn around and switch it on me
Go with the first mind, and kick her out
I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again
I can’t let it go, but if I do
From this day forward, we gotta promise to keep it on no hands

Click below to listen to “One Hand”

No word, melody, note, or refrain could ever quite capture the true essence of what you mean to me. And trust me I’ve searched for just the right way to express my feelings. But finally when I had exhausted all options—inching ever closer to throwing in the towel—an intriguing thought rested upon my mind, and forever altered my perspective on what you mean to me. Perhaps there is no song that can adequately express my love for you, because you are in fact the perfect love song. Your love is the melody that gets stuck in my head all day. Your love continues to set the rhythm of my heart’s beat. I need you. I love you. Maybe this will explain a little better.

The Lyrics:

I’ve been thinking of you
And I’ve been trying to figure out
What you remind me of
Cause you are…nothing like I’ve ever known

Are you an angel
Sent to me… feeling so unreal
Must be heavenly, It’s a mystery
And it hit me, that you remind me of the perfect words

The perfect words written by your favorite singer
The type of song that you turn into an ring tone
I get this feeling every time I think of you
And I know; you’re the perfect love song

[Chorus 1]
Ronald Isley, Babyface, Jodeci and Marvin Gaye
Made melodies that can’t be replaced
But you …you’re the perfect love song

Joe, R. Kelly, Mary J., Faith, Mariah and Sade
Made the whole world sing many times, many ways
But you are
You’re the perfect love song

[Verse 2]
Your voice is soothing to me
Like the strings of a guitar
It takes me right back to the beginning
And I fall in love all over

You never, never ask for nothing
That’s why I wanna give you everything
That’s why I sing, the joy you bring
It’s worth more than the perfect love words

The perfect words written by your favorite singer
The type of song that you turn into an ring tone
I get this feeling every time I think of you
And I know; you’re the perfect love song

[Chorus 2]
Joe, R. Kelly, Mary J., Faith, Mariah and Sade
Made the whole world sing many times, many ways
But you are
You’re the perfect love song

Every time I’m with you
I get inspired to be a better man
Your love is timeless, it lasts forever
Like the perfect love song

Click Below to Listen To “Perfect Love Song”

Today our focus shifts to those (un)precious moments immediately following a breakup. For some, it’s fairly easy to move on. But for others, well let’s just say the idea of starting over is much tougher to handle. Robin Thicke’s “Loving You,” addresses his own fear of no longer having that familiar love in his life.

The Lyrics

Through the rain
I found Jesus
I found you
And I know nothing can take your place girl
Your red lipstick

And I’m just afraid
Cuz this is the first time
That I’m not loving you
Girl I’m not loving you

I got married
To the idea
To the notion
That you’d always be here with me
Like my shadow

And I wish I was there
Just run my hands through your hair
And I’m just afraid
Cuz this is the first time
That I’m not loving you

Click below to hear the complete song

I guess it’s time for me to get personal and share a little known fact about my life pre-Fly Guy. Well before I surrendered myself to a life of love and relationships, I wanted to a sing. Now before you say, “not another aspiring singer,” I was actually really good.

I sang in this group called S.T.A.T.U.S., and we were a Lyfe Jennings’ defeat away from winning the grand finale on “It’s Showtime At The Apollo.” What I remember most about my time in the group was our ability to sincerely pour our hearts into songs that dealt with the disappointments that love can sometimes bring.

Those memories made me want to share one of our old songs with you. In “How Could You Leave Me Now,” the situation being described is an all too familiar one.

The Setup
“I loved you with everything that I had within me. I laughed with you, cried with you, and would have given my last to you. When times got tough, who was there? Me. I was there to wipe your tears away, and comfort you until you got back on your feet.

But when the tables got turned, and I needed you, what happened? You bailed on me with no reasonable explanation. How could you have done that to me? How could you have left me? How could I have been so blind?”

My Request
After you sit with the lyrics for a minute, share with us your honest impressions of what you would do if you ever found yourself in those shoes. Who knows, maybe it’s already happened to you. If so, then share your thoughts. If not, then please still share your thoughts. I want to hear from you.

The Lyrics:
Verse 1
When I met you, you would cry to me
Getting kicked out of your house with no electricity
So I would tell you jokes by candlelight
Just to make you laugh, it was gonna be alright

We fell in love, well I fell in love
And gave you my life
But when it came to desire, and the walk through the fire
You wouldn’t sacrifice

I know you never really loved
Cuz you would have never left my side
And when I needed you, you said goodbye
And I still don’t know how…

Chorus
How could you leave me now?
When you said you loved, and you’d never let me go
How could you leave me now?
When I needed you the most

How could you leave me now?
Said you were my baby, girl do you remember that?
How could you leave me now?
When you said you had my back

Verse 2
Girl it seems, a little strange to me
When I think about, the way we used to be
I remember when we used to talk
All night long, but now it’s gone

Thought I had a friend, thought I had a mate
But then it seemed that all your friends they tried to hate
Thought our love was strong, but I was wrong
I got the hint so now I’m moving on.

I know you never really loved
Cuz you would have never left my side
And when I needed you, you said goodbye
And I still don’t know why…

[Chorus]

Bridge
Tell me how, could you walk away
When you know I needed you right next to me
Tell why, did you let me go without a fight
My friends are saying, she’s gone, move on be strong
There were girls before you met her, and they’ll be there when she’s gone away
One thing I still cannot believe … is how could you leave?

[Chorus]

Listen To “How Could You Leave Me Now”

The Fly Confession:
I’ve decided to take some time out of my day just to say thank you. Although we just met, the impact that you’ve had on my world cannot be understated. Each day that we have interacted has brought new possibilities and expanded my already wide horizons to even broader and brighter frontiers. For that, I thank you.

Don’t get me wrong though. This is in no way me trying to rush things, or an attempt to overwhelm you with emotions that neither you are ready to receive, nor I am ready to give. Instead this is my way of showing my gratitude for the beautiful surprise that you are.

You may not have known this, but I was THIS close to giving up on love; ready to just throw in the towel and exert the fullness of my energy towards my career. But then, out of nowhere you appeared; gently reminding me of what it’s like to have the best of both worlds in my life. Again, I thank you.

So here we are. Unsure of what God has in store for us. Whatever it may or may not be, I pray that you never forget how much I truly appreciate what you represent in my life. A pleasant … beautiful surprise.

A Fly Question:
Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by a new person entering your life? Meaning, have you ever met someone, and they turn out to far exceed your wildest expectations? Have you ever encountered a beautiful surprise? If so, tell me about it.

Featured Song:
India Arie’s “Beautiful Surprise”

The Lyrics:
It’s like yesterday
I didn’t even know your name
Now today
You’re always on my mind

I never could have predicted that I feel this way
You are beautiful surprise
Intoxicated every time I hear your voice
You’ve got me on a natural high

It’s almost like I didn’t even have a choice
You are a beautiful surprise

Whatever it is you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we are written in the stars

I don’t know what the future holds
But I’m living in the moment
And I’m thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are

You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise

You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise

Listen to India Arie’s “Beautiful Surprise”

Let’s eavesdrop in on an all too familiar conversation.

The passionate plea: “How could you do this to me? I love you, and I was so sure that you loved me too.”

The calculated response:“I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m sorry that your feelings are hurt right now, but I told you not to fall in love with me. I thought it was very clear that we were just having fun. You told me that you understood, and were cool with us just hanging out. But now you’re singing a completely different tune. You have no reason to be upset with me, because I’ve been up front with you since day one.”

Fly Guy Question of the Day:
Have you ever been on either side of this scenario? And if so, what happened? How did you handle the situation?

To the person who fell in love: When you initially said you were cool with the arrangement, what changed? And who were you really upset with? The other person or yourself for letting it happen?

To the one who just wanted to be friends: Did you lead them on in any way to make them think that things had changed? How is your relationship with that person today?

I’m patiently awaiting your responses. In the meantime, check out a new cut from Ne-Yo, appropriately titled, “Don’t Fall In Love.”

Listen:

What are you willing to do for love? That’s a question that doesn’t get asked as much as it probably should. Why you may ask? Well for starters, many profess love but aren’t willing to truly sacrifice for it. I think that’s why I immediately connected with Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love.” She’s willing to lay it all on the line just to prove the sincerity of her love. Now that’s what I call being down for someone.

The Lyrics:

When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I’ve known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.

I’d go hungry; I’d go black and blue,
I’d go crawling down the avenue.
No, there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
to make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain’t seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn’t do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love

Listen

No matter how much you love a person, bad days are sure to come. They’re simply unavoidable. Sometimes, we can place unrealistic expectations on our loved ones, making it that much easier to walk away when the bad days do come. In this week’s Fly Lyrics Feature, PJ Morton explains that if the love is pure, then the bad days shouldn’t change how you feel. So check out, “Good Days, Bad Days.” I’m really feeling this one.

The Lyrics:

Can you tell me
What happened to you and me
I thought we’d live happily
Together…forever

But it seems you ask me
To do some things that can not be
What do you expect of me?
I’m only human

You’re living in a fantasy land
If you think I can be superman
But I do know that my love will always stand
And I’ll love you the best that I can

They’ll be good days and bad days sometimes
Just don’t let the bad days change your mind
Dig down deep in your heart and you’ll see
That the bad days don’t change who we be

Click Here To Listen

Word on the street is that she’s mad at you again. At this point, you probably have a better chance at convincing the Olsen twins to eat seconds, than you do at gaining her forgiveness. So let’s try a different approach. This time around, try using music as a tool to ease your way back into her good graces. Here are five songs that may do the trick.

John Mayer- Come Back To Bed
I love John’s approach. Get them back in the bed first…then work it out. That’s my kind of strategy.

Justin Timberlake feat. T.I.- My Love
Nothing says I’m sorry like showing up with your boys to be your backup. Timbaland and T.I. will work just fine.

Jay-Z Song Cry
“I was just f*cking those girls, I was gonna get right back.” Now that’s sincerity in its purest form.

Earth, Wind, & Fire- Reasons
95% of all women are left defenseless when a man sings in falsetto. It’s a fact…

All 4 One- I Swear
If the sappy lyrics don’t get her back, maybe she’ll laugh so hard that she’ll forget why she was even mad to begin with.