The Long Journey Back To You

Aug 26th, 2010 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Perspectives
Comments (8)



*Deep breath*

This is the first time in quite some time that I’ve attempted to put pen to pad, and I have to admit … I’m a little anxious to see how this turns out. Over the past few weeks, I’ve received emails, tweets and Facebook posts all asking the same question: “Fly Guy, when are you going to write again?”

Now my typical answer would be something along the lines of, “Today … I’m definitely going to return today … just wait, you’ll see.” But then, I would pop open my laptop, crack my knuckles, stare blankly at the screen, and discover that I had absolutely nothing to say…

I was literally drawing a blank.

No matter how hard I tried to will myself into crafting something poignant, the words would just fall flat on the page. Well, after about the 5th failed attempt, the reality began to set in that maybe this wasn’t for me … maybe I wasn’t meant to be a love advice columnist.

I was frustrated … hell, I was beyond frustrated.

But then, something happened.

I woke up this morning and heard a bird chirping outside of my window (I know, pretty cheesy right?) I kid you not though; it was an actual bird. I don’t know if it was God talking to me, but there was something about the sound of that chirp that awoke something within me. As I lay there in the bed, listening to its melodious song, my mind began to drift to the readers that I’ve been neglecting during my dry spell. How would they have felt if I had forced the issue with my writing and offered them something that I knew wasn’t from the heart?

Wait … That’s it!!!

I jumped out of bed, and started writing. I suddenly realized that my writing problem was just like the problem of those who struggle with relationships. There are times when we want to experience love so bad that we force the issue, just to be able to say, “I’m in a relationship.”

Sound familiar?

But that never seems to work out, and before you know it, you’re right back at square one—only this time filled with the regret that you wasted your time on someone who didn’t deserve you.

That behavior stops today…

It’s time for us both to learn a valuable lesson. When it’s time for me to speak, I will … but only when the words are authentic and come from the heart. And just like me, when it’s time for you to open yourself up and love another person, you will … but only when it’s right.

We both just need to relax and stop forcing the issue. When it’s meant to be, it will be.

**You know, it took me a long time to make it back to a place where I could confidently to deliver that message. But I’m here now … I just hope that this time, I’m here to stay.

Bookmark and Share       Email     Subscribe


Enjoy this article? If so, share it with a friend and subscribe to the Fly Guy Chronicles RSS feed.
PREVIOUS POST
Lil Jon Talks Sex Therapy
NEXT POST
Coping With The STD Blues




  • Em

    Nice. Welcome back. An epiphany every now and again works to clear out the cobwebs and sets us in motion. After being in relationships for over 28 years (some looooong, some not), I’ve been single for six years. I dreaded it at first, kinda like I couldn’t be whole without someone to “complete” me. Thankfully that phase passed and I’ve completed myself! Found a lot of things tucked away that I had wanted to do but had set them aside for the sake of my relationships. I’m healthier, laugh more, dearly cherish my friends that hung in there during long periods of being put on “ignore” and (corny as it sounds) I embrace each day. Oh, there are some nights where the company of my dogs just doesn’t cut it but I’m sure, as you’ve said above, when it’s right ….

  • http://www.sheletha.blogspot.com Sheletha

    I’m glad your are back. I almost went back to myspace to read some old stuff…

  • ladee_virgo

    Looking forward to it….take your time, we ain’t going nowhere

  • Ms.Kels

    This subject truly made me smile! Its exactly what Im experiencing at the moment and I couldn’t agree more. You have to get back to loving you, knowing what you like and dislike, what you want or don’t want, ect. I’m totally at that place where I just want to get back to me, what makes me tick, smile and feel alive and at my best. I also don’t want to cheat myself or a potential mate out of really getting to know me as a person because I haven’t given myself the proper amount of time to heal regroup and be whole again. I also don’t want to rush or force anything because as you stated above you end up irritated with yourself for wasting your time on a person that wasn’t really worthy trying to fill a void that your last relationship left.

    Now, Im not going to lie like I dont have my lonely nights, or that its always great being single, but I can say its liberating to be able to get back to your dreams and goals without having any problems/ things/ people standing in the way of them. Its nice to be able to do things for you and you only that make you completely happy, and its nice to know its ok to be single and when your ready to put yourself back out there, you’ll be completely healed, happy and ready to go into something with the proper mind set and attitude.

    P.S. Im new to this site and I must say, Im loving it fly guy! You are a well spoken man and its refreshing to read your columns. Maybe you can write about why some men never express their true emotions to a woman until she out of their lives, (i.e. acting as if she means nothing to you, be when she moves on they are heartbroken. Just a thought!. Im going through something similar and could use some insight from a man’s point of view?)

  • Jamie

    @ms. kels Girl, you took alllllllllll my current thoughts/feelings & typed them out!

    @flyguy Thank you for putting all this into words I can’t form myself :) You are gifted. I’ve had “Will I Ever” by Lyfe Jennings on repeat but this entry is a sign to just let it go & let God. PS Do you have a twitter? I think your followers would love it if you got one- just a thought.

  • http://www.flyguychronicles.com The Fly Guy

    https://twitter.com/TheRealFlyGuy I’m definitely on twitter

  • qwerty

    just like relationships…sometimes we need a break to gather our thoughts together. Glad you’re back.

  • Nesha Reed

    It’s funny that I am just now reading this one. A few weeks ago, I found myself in a similar situation where I had to back away from a relationship few days ago. In the beginning, we started off quite fast. We were both so caught up with each other. He was (is) a quality guy and I must say the same for myself. This was refreshing for the both of us. But major something happened. I being a woman that speaks straight from my heart, told him that I really did like him and that I could see myself in a relationship with someone like him. To say the least this scared him. I guess he thought I was ready to marry him on the spot; and of couse that was never my plight. But I sincerely felt good that I had meet someone so different and so honest. But after expressing myself I realized a change soon there afterwards in our relationship (friendship). We were both on the same page that we were both interested in one another, but I spoke to soon my true feelings. It’s true that there is a time and season for everything. I guess I should have recalled, there’s a time to speak and a time to be silent. It’s no big deal, we are still very close. But we also can to a mutual understanding that we are going to allow the Lord to lead and guide us in all our ways, especially when it comes to dating (if it is right for us to take it to that next level). And I must say since we came to this conclusion, I have stepped back and analyzed everything. I have a clearer understanding about myself and our relationship. I have decided that we are really better off as friends; and I think that he has came to the same conculsion as well!

    I was ready to pursue a relationship that I now realize could have been doomed from the start because of my hastiness. I have now learned and am still learning how to be content, and to just be. When the time is right for my mate to come, then he will. Until then I will enjoy my singleness…..which is great. It’s hard, but it’s great. I will focus all my attention on the things of God, and work to advance his kingdom instead of purisng my own will.

    When it’s meant to be, it will be.

    BE BLESSED, Y’ALL!