Rapid Fire Love, May 10th
May 10th, 2010 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: Fly Perspectives
Comments (8)
Instead of spending an entire column on each one of the following thoughts, I figured it’d be best to compile them all into a single posting. So enjoy this edition of Rapid Fire Love, and if any of you have a fear of “stray bullets” flying your way, then I suggest you throw on a bullet proof vest before you start reading.
Bullet #1
I’m always on the road, and no matter the city, I always hear the men and the women complaining about each other. It never fails. Whether I’m in Atlanta, DC, Chicago, LA, New York, or even Oklahoma City, I’m always greeted with a familiar refrain: “The men in this city are dumb … there aren’t any good women here.”
This literally happens in every city.
So I have to ask: is the dating landscape really that bad in every American city, or have we somehow brainwashed ourselves into believing that no good men or women exist. I’m leaning towards the latter here.
I’ve always believed that your mindset goes a long way in dictating your reality. So if you keep telling yourself that there aren’t any good options in your city, then there won’t be. It’s as simple as that.
Bullet #2
I was recently asked by someone that I was dating if I wanted her to call me Daddy. I immediately replied no, as I’ve never been interested in dating someone who also wants to double as my kid. Now don’t get me wrong; when we’re together, I’ll do all that I can to ensure your happiness. But even that comes with stipulations, with the main one being your ability to take care of yourself if needed. To me, there’s nothing more unattractive than a woman that expects you to take care of her because she’s too lazy to do it herself.
Bullet #3
I’ve always wondered why guys have such a hard time picking up on the fact that a woman isn’t interested in them. I mean, women struggle with this too, but I almost feel like some men literally believe that it’s impossible for a woman not to be attracted to them.
This misguided belief can be so ingrained in their heads that they often overlook one of the biggest “I’m not feeling you” signs that women throw out there. It happens all the time in text messages and emails, and goes a little something like this:
Him: “Hey, I was just thinking about you and wanted to check up on you.”
Her: “Hey friend! I’m good. How are you?”
Did you catch that? When a woman isn’t interested in a guy romantically, she’ll be quick to throw out phrases like “friend, buddy, homie” just to subtly let him know that he doesn’t stand a chance. For whatever reason, guys always seem to overlook that one very obvious clue.
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So those are my thoughts for the day. If you have your own rapid fire thoughts, now would be the appropriate time to share them.
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you know as far as bullet number 3 i used to have that problem a lot. guys are just bad overall i guess at picking up subtle clues that women use.
FG … all three were very good ones! Luckily i didn’t need my bulletproof vest for this post. : )
I definitely agree with Bullet #1 –point blank… we can’t see a good man/woman bc we do not believe they exist..
Bullet #2 Daddy??? really??? is this the Playboy mansion and was she a “dumb blonde” ? I can’t believe that calling you “daddy” was something she thought a man would have wanted…
Bullet #3 I need for you to put this one on a billboard somewhere… IF A WOMAN REFERS TO YOU AS BUDDY, FRIEND, HOMIE…. IT MEANS JUST THAT! THATS ALL YOU WILL BE TO HER! I call this guy im talking to “buddy” in every text or phone call but he insists on trying to take it further.. Now if in my texts i refer to you as “babe’ or “honey” … you are someone i am interested in… ; )
Thanks FG
Bullet#1:
I’m not from an American city but this happens everywhere! (although it comes across as if it happens more in America)
It seems like people are brainwashing themselves and others. It can even start at a young age. Most women don’t realize that when they talk about how a man did them wrong in front of a child or a adolescent, they tend to remember those small talk and it makes it possible for one bad guy to confirm that picture they’ve had in their mind and/or been hearing all along (same goes for men badmouthing women).
I understand that some want to protect themselves from making the same mistakes but keep an open mindset… Eventhough I have had my share of unworthy men, I can’t say that men are dumb or whatever (unless I’m joking or a guy pisses me off lol), because I just know that some wonderful men do exist (I know for a fact that my brothers are one of them and as long as they treat their SO right, I still see hope… If they don’t, they better run ’cause I’m not taking that bull… lol)
This reminds me of the discussion with Third Of August (but if I remember correctly that was slightly different)
Bullet#2:
A couple years ago I was walking down the street with a guy who I had my eye on. He said he heard someone yelling papi (daddy) and thought it was referred to him. I knew he was joking (with his big smile) but it rubbed me the wrong way (there are some men that still want to be called daddy… I’m thankful he wasn’t one of them)
I just don’t understand as a female why you would want to call someone daddy?
Bullet#3:
LOL! True! I wonder why they sometimes overlook that important aspect??? Even when I’m sending a text to someone I’m really feeling at the moment, I still screen my messages so that I probably won’t regret my text. And if I think that a guy is feeling me, I definately screen his text…
Bullet #1- This country has been brainwashed into allowing society to tell us what we should look like, how we should love, who we should love, etc., etc. Reset your way of thinking and let your heart show you the way to do all of the above.
Bullet #2- To each his own. Let people call their significant other whatever it is that they want! At least the young lady asked before doing so. Telling people what they should and should not call THEIR partner is absurd. Please stay out of my bedroom!
Bullet #3- I agree, both men and women are guilty of this! Neither party is out running the other. We’re all human and in some time or another we think we can “change” people’s minds. That’s a bullet we’ll all get hit with!
Overall- If we ALL minded our own business when it came to love, the world would be a better place! So what if I loved Jesse, “The no-having job, three baby mama, wanna be a rapper, still living in his mother’s basement,” having self. Technically, that would be my love situation, NOT YOURS!!!!
* Not the case, but if it was…..SO WHAT?!?!?!?!
I wish you all real, genuine, make ya spirit dance and soul smile kind of love!!!!
@ bullet #1-i guess we gotta move back to the country (lol).
@bullet #2-i strongly dislike that papi mess. And daddy? That is so 50s/60s its hard to believe women still do that. Just don’t call me sweetie—that shit i hate!
@bullet #3-some of us receive mixed messages. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard women say how persistance pays off for them. No wonder you can’t get rid of homie—he heard what you said. Me? I can tell in a minute if a women don’t want it from me and i don’t waste my time.
#1: I think the States is the only country (or one of the few countries) where at 18 years old, a person can be completely financially independent and live their own life miles away from their family without the help of roommates or university housing. That’s made us a society of individualists which is bad news for romantic relationships, if you ask me. Partners seem to be treated as disposable and not really necessary for one’s progress forward.
This isn’t everyone of course. There are many who find partnership. It’s just that you might have to pull more marbles than you’d hoped out of that bag before you get one that is looking for a romantic mate. Then you gotta find out if you guys are even compatible.
Man, that sounds like a lot of work. Sorry about that, but it’s the truth.
#2: Probably inspired by the Usher song? I find it disturbing, but in a recent convo with a friend found she quite liked it, so…
#3: I’ve dated quite a few guys I didn’t even like because I hadn’t met anyone I wanted to date and thought I was being too closed minded. I wasn’t though. Turns out they were whack, too.
AND I apologize to women being repeatedly harassed and men wasting years being shut down because I have been part of the problem. My b.
#1: Well, in most of the places I’ve been, the women have pretty much not been on the same page as me. That doesn’t necessarily mean they suck, but when you end up on the alone side of the coin all the time….You gotta wonder what the damn issue is.
#2: No comment. I know I don’t want any woman calling me Daddy either. Especially since I neither have nor want children.
#3: I know when women aren’t feeling me. I practically can smell it…..I virtually expect it to happen….almost to the point where some people have accused me of giving up too soon in the approaching stages of the game.