Can A Broke Man Find Love?

Mar 22nd, 2010 | Author: | Category: Fly Letters
Comments (10)

What’s Up Fly Guy,

I have read your articles and I’m an avid reader. I must say that coming to your website has been really interesting. Here is my situation: I just recently became single, after being with someone off and on for like 5 years. I tried to work on things with her, but she had a serious addiction to alcohol that I just couldn’t deal with. Also, she lacked any real ambition, which was something that I definitely could not deal with. I haven’t spoken to her in over 4 months now, and I must admit that I’m starting to become lonely.

In saying that, the past 3 years have been a sacrifice for me, since I have been in graduate school full-time at a prestigious university here in Washington, DC. My question for you is this: since I am a full-time graduate student with limited funds, what should I do? It’s hard to date when you’re barely making ends meet. I mean, I’m handsome, neat, clean, no kids, no drama, and very ambitious. Give me some advice or help!

College Guy

What’s up College Guy,

The best advice that I can give you is to stop dwelling on what you don’t have … in your case, it’s finances. As men, we have to get out of the habit of thinking that we’re not good enough to date a woman unless we make a certain amount of money. That’s false.

In my opinion, the true measure of your worth has less the do with the amount of money that you make, and more to do with how you spend what you do have. So use those limited resources to pull off some creative date ideas. Trust me; if you do that and handle your business in other areas of the relationship, then a woman won’t leave you because of your bank account balance. And if she does, then she wasn’t for you anyway.

So the best advice that I can give you is to get out there, meet new women, and embrace all of the great qualities that you do have. I’m sure that your financial outlook will change in due time. Good luck and I hope this helps.

The Fly Guy

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  • Tee

    good advice FG. a real woman doesnt care about money if ur working towards a goal. we will hold you down!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/PennyTheGameMaster Third_Of_August

    Good luck with that, College Guy.

    As a Brotha who also went to a rather prestigious university in Washington, DC (prior to my joining the military), I can attest to how much women might SAY they don’t care about how much money a man makes, but their ACTIONS will definitely DICTATE otherwise. I basically had women telling me what a great guy I was because of my ambition and my intelligence (not to mention my lack of a desire to be a player like most college aged men try to be)…..but none of them ever gave me a shot at actually BEING their great man…..Hmm……I wonder why?

  • CaliLuv

    well put F.G…..real women are not looking at ur pockects have’nt u heard Neyo’s she got her own. You do not have to be rich with finances, but make sure that yiou are rich in character, i.e. honesty

  • qwerty

    You are in DC and there are so many dating possibilities that do not require money. You have the Smithsonians that do not require money and you can discuss exhibits that way you can have intelligent conversations. There are also the great awesome parks where one can sit and ponder life’s possibilities. As for dating someone with an addicition why did you start that?

  • http://www.facebook.com/PennyTheGameMaster Third_Of_August

    @ qwerty

    I lived in DC for about 5 or so years during my college days…..It is not as easy as you made it sound.

    If there were more women accepting of cheap date ideas, then your ideas would be awesome. But you can’t suggest Oriental Avenue dates to Park Place women.

  • qwerty

    Perhaps if you changed your attitude and demeanor about past relationships and leave the past in the past where it belongs you may find someone in the here and now and perhaps the future because most of my women friends and myself included do not care what is in a man’s pocket or wallet. We mainly care what is in the heart and mind. I live in DC and I do like going to the museums and learning other things. I have found that men who live in the here and now and not living on past relationships get most of my attention. And I also go to a prestigous and very expensive university and will be living on “Park Place”. And living in DC is very easy as I made it sound.

  • http://www.facebook.com/PennyTheGameMaster Third_Of_August

    @ qwerty

    I’m working on that. Again, easier said than done. Especially when it takes positive experiences to move forward in such situations as the one I’m in.

  • msbliss says so

    I’m not going to lie , I like fine things & going out BuT I am Not materialistic. Having a man with a good heart, a good outlook on life & holding down a job is much more important than some1 with lots of money. I just hate men who act like doing for their woman is wrong or have a attitude about giving her money. I understand being on a tight budget But anyway u Can treat me Please do! I will return they favor ten fold.

  • Heartbroken

    As a man who recently got used by a Golddigger all I can say is this. I am Black and i have worked hard all my life. I am in a field where there are very few black men. Despite this I have accomplished a lot of things, even made a little bit of history. Yet, no matter what, now in my 30′s and still alone. I can tell you that things like honest, loyalty, kindness and ambition mean nothing. It’s all about the money. I was a fool before I wasted most of my life believing that being ‘good’ was the way to go. But look at who is still alone. Me. Women lied, used me, abused me and treated me in ways that were inhuman. I shall never forget, never forget. While at the same time criminals and liars are loved. That is the way of the world. That is why we have Hitlers and other tyrants. They are enabled by women. So long as a man has money he is a perfect. No matter how immoral or how unclean his soul is.
    But it’s okay, Just like the JEWS once said, “Never Again” and that is where I am now. Never again will I ever open my heart to a woman in the same way again. I do not trust women at all and i see them for what they are now. I see how it all works. For them, its all about $$ and Power, pure and simple. I am very sorry I was led to believe that doing the right thing was the right thing. I hate women because they hate me.

  • faith

    heartbroken have u dated all the women in the world to conclude that all women are evil,when i met my boyfriend he was a mere pizza delivery guy living with his uncle,broke and no savings account or ambition in life.he had failed high school and had no desire to go back to school coz he felt like a failure and i was in university doing my thing,my own money and had big dreams for my own.i stood by him and he got his act together,moved out of hiss uncles and got his own place,got a different job,is now studying and working at the same time and is able to support me financially when im broke.i had an opportunity to date guys with money but chose my boyfriend coz he was honest,gentle and loving,i chose his character over his finacial and social state,and im glad i did so please dont categorize us all,i know most guys make the mistake of choosing women based on the outward appearance and dont look at the heart and u know what they get burned and throw insults at women,maybe u need to check how u choose ur partners,just saying!!!!!!!!