10 Ways That Women Judge Men

Mar 22nd, 2010 | Author: | Category: Fly Features
Comments (5)

It’s time for us as members of the male brotherhood to understand a very basic dating principle: Women are judging our every move. Don’t believe me? Just think back to a time when your significant other brought up an incident (whether good or bad) that took place in the early phases of your relationship. She probably said something like “I knew you were a good guy when this happened,” … on the flip side, she may have said, “I should have known you were no good when I saw you do this…”

Is it coming back to you now?

I thought so. It’s with this fundamental understanding in mind that Men’s Health sought to compile a comprehensive list of 10 very specific ways that women judge men. As always, read, comment and share after reading.


Fly Feature

Below are 10 ways – in rough chronological order – a woman judges your fitness to be her proverbial daddy.

1. Did He Dress Well for the Date?

“She’s watching to see if you put some energy into your dress and grooming,” says Aline Zoldbrod, Ph.D., a psychologist and sex therapist in Boston. “If you don’t take the trouble to dress well for her now, she could see it as disrespectful.”

2. Is He Depressed?

Does he stare at my breasts? Does he have any sense of humor? If you’re a total loser, it pays for her to ascertain that on the first date, says Zoldbrod.

3. Is He Like My Ex?

Yes, we always pay for the last guy’s sins. “What women want is often based on their past negative or positive experiences,” says Carol Kauffman, Ph.D., a relationship therapist and psychology instructor at Harvard medical school. So when she talks about past boyfriends, heed well.

4. Is He Bitter About Past Relationships?

She needs full use of your closets. There’s no room for baggage.

5. Can He Talk About Himself and Listen to Me?

She’ll carry 80 percent of the conversation load. Just make sure your 20 percent is about something.

6. Is He Generous?

Women somehow see a correlation between leaving a 10 percent tip and having a propensity to drown kittens.

7. Does He Make Me Feel Understood and Appreciated?

If you can’t succinctly state her values, her politics, and her ambitions, you’re probably failing here. Ask more questions. Listen to the answers this time.

8. Is He Open to a Relationship but Not Needy?

Ace the other nine criteria here and your odds of appearing needy will edge toward nil.

9. Does He Keep Promises?

If you’re not reliable, you’re not viable, especially not for the ultimate goal of all this. . . .

10. Does He Have the Potential to be a Good Father?

“For long-term potential, she considers whether you have the values she wants in a man,” says Jean Koehler, Ph.D., president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. If she can’t see tykes on your knee, she’s wasting her time. How you interact with your own family can be a strong indicator here.


The Fly Conclusion: So is there any validity to the listed ways that women judge men? Is this really how women gauge our fitness to be potential mates? Let’s talk about it.

Bookmark and Share       Email     Subscribe

Enjoy this article? If so, share it with a friend and subscribe to the Fly Guy Chronicles RSS feed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/PennyTheGameMaster Third_Of_August

    Sounds about right. Women tend to get to know a man from the outside in…..and usually, they could be wrong about something they pre-judged us on. For example….everyone looks at me and thinks I’m some bitter, angry man…..but not many people have really taken much time to understand why or how I’m that way.

  • http://twitter.com/bugadocious bugadocious

    I appreciate this list as a helpful guide for men- especially points 7 and 9- and I’d like to expound upon point #1:
    Although important, dressing well may not always work in a man’s favor. I actually appreciate a certain degree of “scruff” in a potential mate… Some women, like myself, look for this opportunity to create their own monsters. If he arrives with the wrong jeans or disheveled shirt, it gives me an opportunity to imagine how I may be able to clean him up. There is just something very sweet and endearing about a man who looks like he needs our help… women tend to be nurturing beings who take pleasure in doting on the objects of our affection.

    On the contrary, if he arrives looking too well manicured we may be wary: Someone has already taken our opportunity to upgrade him… and he’s no longer with her… Why? Did he leave her because of the attention he was getting for his new look (This happens!!LOL)? Or worse… We may jump to the wrong conclusion about his sexual orientation- we women don’t generally want a man who is in the mirror more than us and typically (albeit sometimes wrongly) place men with a near-perfect appearance in the same category as our dear gay friends.

    So, in conclusion, the best advice I can offer a man is to dress in clean clothes that are appropriate for the activity you have planned for the date, but don’t look like you tried too hard- leave that for us! Besides, if a woman is too interested in what you have on, she’s probably not right for you. That’s why the best thing you can put on for me is a sincere smile.

  • qwerty

    I can strongly agree with point #4 – please leave your past in the past where it belongs.

  • Cliff

    This is BS these rules only apply if a woman is dealing with an average Joe Smoe. If he is an Adonis uber-sexy he can display traits directly adversed to all these hokey-pokey standards and still get the girl.

  • bob

    I agree with cliff even though being super mega ultra attractive to the girl wont make the relationship last forever it will succeed in the mans goal of clothes at the bottom of the bed. If your that attractive sometimes the girl spends more time worrying about herself and what u think of her then the opposite and there is plenty of hot girls that arent full of themself to take advantage of. Not that its what we always plan on but sometimes you just aren’t ready to fufill what they are looking for. Besides Maybe she can find a joesmoe he deserves to have some clothes at the end of his bed too.