Lol now ya talkin. I mean maybe he doesnt want you to know that he has a bad past. Im not a guy so i cant tell you why men lead you or dont tell you whats up. i mean he could be with a family but again if he was he would still call you from some kind of pay phone but if he dont call at ALL but when he is at work then yea Half way house..some kind of Lock Down is going on….lol or we can think positive and just say hey he doesnt have a phone and he is tight on cash …. lol…Good luck.

LMAO! No he’s not in jail… (but maybe a half way house I never thought of that) I call him and he calls me from the company he works for, so I know for a fact he’s not in jail. I have spoken to his boss and co workers many of times BUT WAIT! when you’re in a half-way house (you ain’t allowed to have or use cell phones) so maybe once he leaves work that is why I don’t hear from him on week nights or wknds. I had a friend who could only call me when they weren’t in the halfway house soooo maybe he is just in some sort of work release program or halfway house! BUT either way, why would you want someone to think you was married with kids vs. at the halfway house! lol I gave him several times to fess up and somethin just isn’t right, though he says he’s not married and has no kids, he could be in a half-way house! DUHHH but shiiit that is nothing to hide. smh I still don’t know ya’ll really seem to be on the right track with that

So what if good situations and chances to get over bad experiences are limited? That’s what I’m going through right now. It would be one thing if great opportunities came around often enough to take my mind off of the bad ones….But that’s not the case.

Hard to keep an open mind when real-life circumstances are preventing that. But it appears as if you at least understand where I was coming from. Most people just write me off as another angry Black man without ever actually getting to know the whole story.

I’ll try to keep it short (because we’re getting off topic on this post) and hopefully the following makes sense:

Men in general get turned down a lot by women. But the socalled thugs/ good-for-nothing men chase after more women. The second a woman doesn’t give him glimpse, he’ll be hollering at another woman (yes, I’m exaggerating but still…). See it as statistics, let’s say the chance that a guy gets with a female is 15% (= random percentage). In a room full with 100 ladies, a thug tries to approach 30? 40? maybe even more? there is a chance that he will end up with one of them. The nice guy approaches 4 maybe 5 ladies in the same room and the chance that he will end up with one potential good woman is small compared to the thug unless he had a tight gameplan (yes, I’m exaggerating again, I know…). So the thug always seems to have somebody, because he keeps on chasing.

For the record, I’m not trying to promote nice guys to turn into players or whatever.

Thugs also have drive and ambition; they want to get rich, do this, do that, etc etc etc. So before some women discover that the “level of maturity” of that thug is different than what they’re looking, it’s too late (she might have fallen in love or gets labelled as a typical woman who will do anything for a thug but won’t look at a nice guy). So to your question if women are capable to know the level of maturity (e.g. drive and ambition) of a nice guy beforehand: Some are. Others not so much. (depending on the guy and situation ofcourse)

By the way I might be (I might? I mean… I am …lol) generalizing in this post but that’s because I don’t feel this is the right post to elaborate it > we’re getting off-topic on what FG posted. Also it’s hard to get deep on this because we can’t describe a “good/nice” guy/woman. It depends on preferences etc etc. (expect for the standard aspects like respectful etc etc etc)

Even though I’m not attracted to thugs, I’m don’t know why I’m defending this lol. You´re putting me in a defence-mode and all I wanted to say was: don’t hang on the past and don’t give up > be persistent if the situation is right.

I tried to keep it short… o well. I do find it an interesting discussion (lol… and it all started out of frustration)

and you make a lot of since. i didnt even think about that. then again i dont have a lot of friends in jail so i wouldnt have even came up with that good idea. because even married men slip up and call from a block number some how or a pay phone on the way home…kickin it with the fellas ” Ay man can i borrow ya phone ill block the number so…”

hope she catches on because that made complete since… *Kanya Shrugg *

YOU DONT NEED TO BE A ROCKET SCIENTIST TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT !..AS SOON AS I READ THE FIRST AND LAST SENTENCES ..BAM ! IT HIT ME..DUDE IS IN THE CAN !..THINK ABOUT IT..SHE’S NEVER MET WITH HIM FACE TO FACE..PHONE CALLS MON – FRI..VERY STRICT TIMES..HAHAHA GULLIBLE WOMAN..IF I MET SOMEONE..AND I WANTED TO TALK TO HER OVER THE WEEKEND OR IN THE EVENINGS..OH I WILL !! I’LL FIND A WAY !..EXCEPT I’M IN JAIL THAT IS !!!..I THINK SOMEONE NEEDS TO GO FOR CONJUGAL VISITS !

The only thing I’ve learned from my past failures is that maybe I might be the problem. It’s hard to learn how to win when all you have encountered is losing. (Sports analogy there.)

So if women such as yourself find men with ambition and drive attractive in the long run….here’s my next question. Why is it that guys with “long run” qualities have to get left out in the cold while Mr. I Don’t Wanna Be Shit In Life gets all the play right now? Are there not any women capable of that level of maturity beforehand?

I’m trying my hardest to be open minded about this topic, but it seems like the game is dead stacked against good men succeeding.

You’re right about basing your opinion on your past experiences BUT you should learn from the mistakes that has happened in the past (I’m not saying that you made a mistake, but the past should be a learning expercience). You’re saying that, although everyone online says that good women do exist, you still haven’t seen any result. Well, funny thing is that you can never tell who qualifies as a ‘good’ woman, therefore you have to get to know them (I said the same thing about men in my previous post… From the outside point of view it’s easy to assume whose a “nice” guy/women but you can’t base a thug or a nice guy by their appereance… some thug-look-a-likes might be the sweetest person you’ll ever meet and treat you with respect etc and vice versa with the nice guy). When it comes to love, people tend to put/keep their guard up.

I’ve never said that thugs are exciting, in my post I said USUALLY nice/good guys aren’t exciting enough (and NOT in the sense of thuggish behavior).
But after awhile -when you get to know each better- the nice guy turns out be more exciting and interesting IMO (I like men with drive and ambition… and 9 times out of 10 the “nice” guy has it).

BTW With expanding your horizon, I meant your point of view/a different -more positive- mindset (and no, not by putting rose shades on), not literally travel all over the world.

Stay open-minded and try not to let it get to you.

The socalled good women who already have passed you by, missed their opportunity to get with you. But if you continue to judge (maybe I’m reaching, but it seems like you’re judging) women on your previous experiences then you’re going to miss your opportunity to get with a good/nice woman.

Didn’t mean to offend you nor give you a lecture, but sometimes you sound sooooo negative.