Do Black Men Prefer Dominican Women Over American Women?

Feb 11th, 2010 | Author: | Category: Fly Perspectives
Comments (321)

My recent admission that I was headed on a trip to the Dominican Republic prompted a familiar refrain among black women. “Why are you going over there?” “I read the article in Essence, so I know what you guys do over there.” “All black men want is sex, and it’s a shame they have to fly to another country to get it.” And on and on it went.

My first reaction was to throw the argument right back in their face by asking, “So why do black women go to Jamaica?” To me, the whole Dominican argument is a double standard if you’re going to run to another country and do the exact same thing. And it’s not like black women can deny it after placing it on the big screen, and turning Stella into some sort of national hero for “getting her groove back.”

But that type of back and forth argument gets old quick. So instead of engaging in it, I wanted to personally speak with the black American men on the island to get a clearer picture as to why they really traveled to the Dominican Republic. What I found was a group of men who found some basic qualities in the island women that they just weren’t getting at home. It was less about sex, and more about the mindset of the women. Below is a sampling of what they had to say.

“It’s a respect thing with me. Black women in America are so busy trying to compete with you that they have forgotten how to be wives and girlfriends. The women here in D.R. are a lot more mindful of that. They work hard to make sure that they are good to their men. I just don’t see that in American black women anymore, and when I do, they throw it in our face every five minutes.” ~Richard, engineer

“It’s simple for me; Dominican women live by a basic principle: do right by your man, because if you don’t, another woman will. I came down here on a trip with some buddies, and after I returned to New York, I broke up with my girlfriend. I was just tired of her pretending like she was really doing something in our relationship. The women down there were cooking, cleaning and doing whatever else they could to make their man happy. Meanwhile, I could count the number times on one hand that my girl had lifted a finger to clean up. That’s not me being sexist; that’s me recognizing that certain women in the world are going the extra mile to make sure their man is comfortable. As a man, if you want me to take care of certain things, then you have to do the same. Dominican women understand that.” ~ Cliff, photographer

“After working hard all day, I honestly don’t want to hear a lot of the talk that I have to hear from the black women that I deal with in the states. It’s always a conversation that I don’t really feel like having. In D.R., the women are more laid back, and they respect the sanctity of your manhood. They give you your space to be a man, and I respect that.” ~Lewis, attorney

**There’s so much that can be digested from their thoughts. So let’s not belabor the moment … Do the men have a point? Or are they just blowing smoke to justify their actions? Vote below and then join the discussion.

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  • CorporateBarbie

    Yes, black women have difficulty letting men be men. Because of the messed up power dynamic and so many women not having had fathers to show them what is man is/how to treat one, we sometimes need to be taught. That requires a patient man who values and believes in us enough to care and learn and grow together. Now, I’m not speaking of worthless “ain’t sh*t” chickenheads. But good women who are a little too “independent”, you dig?

    But it seems like black men have forgotten that relationships require work, patience, and compromise. They can seem so, “Everyone else wants me, so I don’t have to take this sh*t”. And we won’t even address the whole obsession with “exotic” women, and their physical traits being more desirable than those of black women. But in general, I just get sick of hearing stuff like this. Not all black women are domineering and lazy. If you really wanted to be with one, cut the one who is loose and find another. There are good black women who respect manhood out there. I know, because I’m one.But if you choose to go pursue Dominican women, fine. Just say it’s because it’s what you WANTED to do. Not what we DROVE you to with our shortcomings. The way I see it, black women AND men have a lot of work to do to repair our relations … But so often it seems that black men forget the sacrifices/compromises that WE make to be with them, i.e. less education, sometimes more promiscuous sexual backgrounds, etc. Like/Love/Screw who you want. But don’t be a coward about it. Stand up and say, “This is what I like,” without having to justify it in our shortcomings.

  • Tunde

    while i’ve never had the desire to date a domincan woman, i would but it wouldn’t be for the reasons noted by the men who gave their opinions. it would be because that individual and i fit well together. there are black women who cater to their men (when they deserve it) and i be their are some dominican women who aren’t as cracked up as you make it seem. i don’t think people should generalize women or men based on race. *shrug*

  • Ree

    I can’t vote “Absolutely” nor “These guys are full of shit” because I can see where they’re coming from on certain things and on other things I can not… As an African American woman, I’ve come to the conclusion that black men (somewhere along the lines of time) have turned into pussies. I’m a huge believer in doing unto others as I’d like them to do unto me. With that being said, I don’t mind cooking, massaging, listening, giving space, etc. to keep my man happy because I too desire these things from him. Black men want the qualities of a wife WITHOUT the commitment. A black man wants his woman to cook, clean, massage and have unprotected sex with him for damn near a year before he even decides to make her his GIRLFRIEND. I hate to sound like the typical woman who “clowns” our brothers because society does enough of that but black men have really got to STEP IT UP! Look at all the athletes who have recently been getting caught up with their jumpoffs… ALL OF THEM ARE BLACK… And all of them have been ratted out by non-black women. In my opinion, black men run to the other races because they know they can have sex with their friends and take naked pictures of them to show to their friends and that non-black woman will still cook, clean, massage and have sex with him unprotected… I don’t know a lot of black women who will do that. Once again, I hate to down the brothers because society does that enough but black men have got to step it up. I’ve recently started dating outside the race and I must admit it has been a completely different experience. The men I’ve dated have been predominantly white and they are much more mature than most black men. They aren’t afraid to ask a woman they are attracted to to be their girlfriends and since they’ve all been blessed with being raised in a two-parent home, they value love and marriage and recognize the significance of raising children IN wed-lock… Unlike most black families… I hate to say these things, but it’s the truth.

  • Ambitious_One

    I am so tired of this discussion but it is one that will constantly come up. Black woman are constantly and publicly berated and measured against some other ethnicity. Honestly are any black men satisfied with blk women??? These responses all just sounds like a scapegoat as to why I don’t have to address my own issues as a man and work on building stronger bonds with the woman in my life. As a young professional black woman I haven’t encountered very many men who stand on your own as men. So if he isn’t right how can we build anything together. Cooking, cleaning and all that other stuff is great but if we both work everyday shouldn’t these be shared responsibilities. A lot of men need to STOP living with the 1952 mindset. Both parties are bringing home the bacon now. It really just sounds like there is no such thing as equal in regards to male/female relationships. I want to be respected for what I bring to the table in addition to cooking and cleaning.

    I agree with Corporate Barbie, it takes patience. I think black woman have shown patience and it has not been rewarded at all. I am really just ready to hear more blk men/women talking about what the other actually does right in a relationship instead of constantly dwelling in the comparison society.

  • rhneed

    I can see both points to this story but you also have to look at the culture. Most of these women in the Dominican Republic are not pursuing careers and educational goals. They are taught the duties of a woman at a very early age which is a great thing. In the United States sometimes it gets overlooked because there are households where women have to play both man and woman which causes that mindset of young women to be more dominating. Many young women have never seen a functioning household where the man and woman play their roles. Now they are women out there who live by the independent motto but then there are women that are open to it but unfortunately they need to be taught which cause a lot of impatience in men. This so called destruction in black relationships all stems from the lack of black fathers to teach young women how to let a man be a man. I can’t understand why black men and women put each other in this box where no one is right. Like Ambitious_One says this story is old.

  • msbliss

    OK…First, as a black woman & an extremely loyal person I have NO PROBLEM catering to my man IN FACT it makes me come alive even more. BUT If my man is messing up I’m not going 2 bend over backwards 2 please him Nor should I when I’m not being treated right. As far as foreign women, Yes Ill say there’s truth 2 that character But let’s be honest & state the facts. Most of these women are poor and/or come from poor circumstances & a american man is their best meal ticket & chance 4 a better life. If they were in better environment like us that level of humility wouldn’t be as common. A lot of those women are very mistreated by foreign men they marry because the man has the upper advantage. If you want a good woman jus like a good man ,you have more power in the outcome than u think. I don’t believe you have 2 leave the usa 2 find that quality but I don’t judge. Its jus my personal opinion that most men that do just want some1 they can control & dominate. And what’s love got 2 do with that?

  • Jamaica

    I agree with all of the reasons given by the men selected and I totally understand. I do not understand why we as African-American women are still so “loyal”, committed, and patiently longing for African-American men. Yes, they have valid reasons in some respects (but hardly able to generalize) to leave us behind and seek love in other places, but if AA women were to adopt that same stance, we would have started going elsewhere long before AA men. However, we’re still here despite regularly being told (by AA men & the “others”) that we aren’t good enough and don’t warrant any effort in being loved. All hope is not lost though, thank God. Outside of the U.S., the options for AA women are overwhelming and wonderful. Africa is a great place to start.

  • KYCurlyGirl

    I am new around here, here it goes…regardless of what these three men said, which is hardly a representative sample, how awesome, considerate, and attentive are Dominican women, or Brazilian women, or other women in economically-depressed countries that have high rates of sex tourism (and HIV), such that the men only want them for 3-7 days on their vacation?! And then I, as a BW, am supposed to listen to those same BM about how to treat a man? No. Are they marrying these women, bringing them home to mama? Rarely. Any man, woman, Black or otherwise, who thinks they are doing anything other than exploiting people in these situations is fooling themselves.

  • Thee Phantom

    No! I love Black Women. Like most men, I’ve experimented with Inter-Cultural dating and had temporary obsessions with Asian Women, Spanish Women, etc. I just think that any Man who isn’t prepared to feel the wrath of any Woman that he doesn’t do right by, whether she is Black, White, Gray, Orange, etc., isn’t deserving of that Woman in the 1st place.

  • BellaBecca

    FlyGuy, now I just know you corrected these men. And I am certain you chose that image for a reason. he black woman arguing and the nicely figured women are the Dominican women.

    Most of this is generalizations. So, based on the way these men are thinking, what makes them feel so special when she treats you well and does all of those things for you if she will do it for any man. I am not saying all Dominican women are subservient or anything, I am going solely on the men’s responses. I have no problem doing all of these things and MORE for the right man. I will not, however, just do it because you think you are a man or because I like you. When I meet that right man, he will lack absolutely nothing in the woman’s duties because that is my job to him.

    American society is different than Dominican society and the people therein adhere to their respective social norms. Some women here work longer hours, so when they come home, the last thing they want to do is cook, not because they do not appreciate their man but because they are tired. Sadly, though, I think these types of men prefer Dominican, Asian, Hispanic, etc women for physical reasons but to justify it, they blame black women. Now the black woman looks bad and is why he has to run away and into the arms of another race. Yes, some black women are argumentative and if a man seems to only find these women, I can see how he could be turned off from black women. But not all black women are like this.

  • Third_Of_August

    My preference has always been Black women (regardless of how my posts may come off sometimes….lol).

    While some men may go outside the race due to some of the reasons others have posted already, I can’t see myself abandoning what I believe in for something else just because it’s perceived to be more domestic-minded or “easier” to get.

    I’m still hanging in there hoping I can find a Black woman whose standards we each can stack up to.

    And besides…..At least from what I’ve seen so far….I have yet to meet any race of woman that seems to really prefer Black men of my type, anyway.

  • AJOY

    I think these qualities are found in individuals. Sometimes we overlook what’s right in our back yard because some of the same qualities are really obvious in those who are a bit different than we are.

    I found that Latin men tend to posses more of the hunter qualities that I like than Black American men do. But it doesn’t mean that all Black American men are punks. Hell, from experience, the Brothas in Europe are a lot more assertive than here in the states. They have no problem stepping to a woman. A lot of Black men here tend to wait on women to come to them and play the man’s role and the women’s role in the relationship. Then we get penalized for being just that. You can’t give up your role and get mad because someone else picks it up. But, I won’t just diss all Black men here in the states just because of this. There are some out there who have balls! … someplace. LOL

  • AJOY

    I think these qualities are found in individuals. Sometimes we overlook what’s right in our back yard because some of the same qualities are really obvious in those who are a bit different than we are. Some of these men sound like they simply don’t want to be giving of themselves in the relationship.

    I found that Latin men tend to posses more of the hunter qualities that I like than Black American men do. But it doesn’t mean that all Black American men are punks. Hell, from experience, the Brothas in Europe are a lot more assertive than here in the states. They have no problem stepping to a woman. A lot of Black men here tend to wait on women to come to them and play the man’s role and the women’s role in the relationship. Then we get penalized for doing just that. You can’t give up your role and get mad because someone else picks it up. But, I won’t just diss all Black men here in the states just because of this.

    Plus, I am sure there are plenty of Dominican women who don’t like the stereotype.

  • mizzT

    Fly guy i was raised by a haitian mother , who is a devought christian. Every chore or rule i had she gave me was to prepare me for marriage. When i was in Highschool she gave me a curfew to train me to not be out all hours of the night so when i get married i wouldn’t stay out late. If she cooked we had to wait to eat till my step father came home. I read the bible and prepared myself how to be the perfect wife. I totally agree with you american women sometimes dosen’t know how to act cause it sucks because black “independent” women give a bad wrap to the women like me and time after time curve me for the typical looking latin chick and i feel weird cause i’m light skin with light brown eyes and curly hair and i suddenly feel how the dark skin sistas feel..until i tell a guy i’m haitian and italian and then all of sudden their eyes light up cause i’m not a black american girl smh

  • mizzT

    Fly guy i was raised by a haitian mother , who is a devought christian. Every chore or rule i had she gave me was to prepare me for marriage. When i was in Highschool she gave me a curfew to train me to not be out all hours of the night so when i get married i wouldn’t stay out late. If she cooked we had to wait to eat till my step father came home. I read the bible and prepared myself how to be the perfect wife. I totally agree with you american women sometimes dosen’t know how to act cause it sucks because black “independent” women give a bad wrap to the women like me and guys curve me for the typical looking latin chick and i feel weird cause i’m light skin with light brown eyes and curly hair and i suddenly feel how the dark skin sistas feel..until i tell a guy i’m haitian and italian and then all of sudden their eyes light up cause i’m not a black american girl smh

  • SMH

    If a person wants to date a person it is what it is…no need to explain, complain or ask permission or for understanding – just do it. A secure person especially a man knows his own mind and knows that what he wants is what he wants and goes after it, no explanation needed or given and that that is enough. These men need to own up to their own truths from start to finish and stop seeking or needing validation or approval from others or society at large.

    As far as the foreign women -men such as these who are making excuses are easy to play – just make them feel manly and they are hooked. The women though they appear submissive are actually leading them around by the nose all for some attention. Anyone can be nice and accommodating for a short term like a vacation – the real test of character is how a person handles the day to day reality. A relationship is not all sunshine and roses or feeling good it’s being there for the good, bad and in between.

  • NYCityMama

    OMG. As a Dominican woman, those stereotypes make me sick to my stomach. Sounds more about wanting to control a woman than have a partner who is an equal. Yes, “culturally” Dominican girls are raised to see no evil, hear no evil, and worship the man. Thus Dominican men are notorious for being unfaithful (despite the good woman at home), being verbally and physically abusive, and yes, choosing women who “know their place”. In exchange, the HIV levels are extremely high, the affects of abuse transcend generations, and women struggle to find a sense of self, and are often prisoners, rather than wives. It’s disgusting, and I hate that this is how “we” are viewed, as submission, complacent, pieces of ass who can cook. Disgusting. I wouldn’ cry for a man who travels anywhere in search of this type of woman. He is a douchbag who lacks confidence and respect for women. And that is coming straight from the keyboard of a proud Dominican woman.

  • Mateo

    Reading this is disgusting to say the least. Seeing, an ENGINEER, PHOTOGRAPHER, and an ATTOURNEY, describe a servant as there ideal women is sad. Choosing a women who can cook and clean and knows when to give you space. As a latino the only time I want a women like that is when me and the wife don’t want to do anything and decide to EMPLOY some one to do “the job”. As a man I’m less concerned with a woman who cooks and cleans well, as I can do that on my own.

  • Miz

    Kudos to you Mateo! I loved your response.


    It’s called being LATINA. Some men know where it”s at and others don’t.

  • amia550

    i couldn’t agree with you more. well put. Thanks!

  • Job opening: Housewife…The ideal women! | Back2goforward

    [...] happened upon a website the other day with a post titled “Do Black Men Prefer Dominican…”, after reading it I found myself at a lost for words in all honesty.  I’m not [...]

  • Casey

    I am an African-American woman and I have never been so ashamed of black men. Some of them are so incredibly stupid, it is just stunning. They will call me a gold-digger if I want to go to Mickey D’s, but fly across bodies of water to pay to have sex with women because they are light skinned and have “that good hair” all because they “let a man be a man.” Why do you need my permission, or anyone’s permission to be what you are? Who are you trying to fool? Who are you lying to? Me? Why? Of course, the biggest lies one tells are the ones they tell to themselves.

  • richard rogers

    I get tired of people trying to justify their obsession with other race’s sexuality by saying the black man is this ….and the black woman is that…., as a black man I have dated out of my race not because i was mad at the BEAUTIFUL BALCK WOMAN , but because i could not find one in my area but Inever said that i hate black women I just say that there is none in my cirlcle so i dated because of loneliness and a desire to be loved by someone , and that should be the goal of everyone not to sexually conqure another race , at this time my current girlfriend is from mexico and i fell in love with her when she talked about the beauty , and courage of the black woman , and how she basically worshipped my mother .

  • Casey

    You say that Black women need to “let a man be a man.” What exactly does that mean and why do you need me to “let” you be what you are?

    To me, that is like saying we should let a tree be a tree. Of course it is a tree. What else would it be? It doesn’t need me to “let” it be what God intended it to be. It just is.

    By the way, I am an African-American female who was raised by her father (and grandmother). I have a bachelor’s and master’s degree. I know how (and do so regularly) to cook, clean, wash clothes, pick a good wine, etc and handle my business on the job as well.

    And I have dropped out of the dating scene because of this kind of stupidity. Too frustrating, as I am not fond of wasting my time.

  • Cronos

    i find that the last couple sentences of your post very interesting in that it explains in detail the “Plight of the black male” yet does not express a certain compassion for the situation we are dealing with. yes most black males were raised in a single family house-hold, which also leads to other behaviors you had also mention but keep in mind the tone that u decide to use when expressing these opinions. like most black families who live in the ghetto or hood, are to poor to afford certain things like weddings and college, who deal with being black in this soceity and the ripple effects, fighting that battle to “STEP UP OUR COLLECTIVE GAME” is a little bit more difficult than just saying it. just painting a picture here but alot of men are thrown out into the world expected to hold everything on his shoulders, job, house, car, just being a man and having to play the part of pillar of the family is abit more difficult to maintain than a white guy who has his college paid for by parents, doesnt have to worry about his living expenses before he gets to college, has a job line up for him after he graduates, and at the top of all this you have to understand that that white guy you are dating is reaping the rewards of a few hundred years of racism and social restructuring to put a certain racial group on top in society.

  • N

    Dominicans are black…

  • Casey

    No kidding? Whoda thunk? SMH….

  • Dr. Vieira

    There’s a lot of stereotype going on here. I am a Dominican Woman and yes we do care and we try to please our men and we give them their space but that doesn’t mean African American women or other women don’t do the same. On the other hand, there are many dominican women like me who pursue a career and finish college and also find time to take care of their family. In every community there’s great individuals who care to make a difference and other’s who don’t even try. Please stop the stereotypes!!!!

  • Bambi

    I am going to keep this short, mainly because I’m dealing with a situation that is related to this subject. I admit I could not read the whole thing due to the feeling of salt being rubbed in a very fresh wound. My problem is that Black men seem to be extremely enamored with the woman’s race. its not that she knows how to be a girlfriend or a wife. Honestly if that was the attraction, there are a lot of black women out there that have the various qualities mentioned in the quotes. The general scenario is that black men lay down their lives for dominican women and give black girls (with girlfriend values) the run around or they get played to the left or just plain played. The only variable between a ‘good’ Dominican woman and a ‘good’ Black woman is their race. So please do not try to justify obvious (albeit uncouth and slightly racist) preferences withe seemingly logical arguments. I guess I lied about keeping this short. I wrote this because I’ve been told I’m not good enough because I’m not West Indian, Dominican, or White by three black men….yes I am mad….partly for my own selfish reasons, but because black men are equating a woman’s worth not by her actions but by her race at first glance. Last semester my teacher was talking about Freud treating only rich White women and your stereo typical black boy who was only in school to play ball and never said any thing perked up and yelled ,”YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I’M TLKING ABOUT’. SMH.

  • Bambi

    oh yea, I’m 23, work full time, attend college full- time as animal science, so I can go to vet school, as well working on getting licensed as a Vet Tech, I am Black , Irish, Italian, Shoshone Indian and Brazilian. I am proud of each one of my heritages but for all intensive purposes I identify black. I will not blame Dominican women or any other race for ‘stealing’ Black men. It is unfair to stereo type a woman’s worth based on race as Dr. Vieira said,but it is the Black men who are doing most of it… wrong as it is for a Black man to say a woman is not worth adoration if she is Black. Is it not equally as wrong for the same man to say Dominican women are worthy of their love because of their race? It lessens both women as individuals who should both be loved for their values.

  • Casey

    Those who told you that you weren’t good enough simply for being a Black American woman display the most silly and disgusting hatred of themselves. It is NOT about you. It is about THEM and their self-hate and stupidity.

  • cronos

    oh i agree with you 100% about the whole men judging womens worth based on race but that still does not account for the fact that those gentlemen who stated the comments have not given any warning signs as to any difficulties dealing with these women from other races based on their opinions or judgements of them. plus on the flip side you do realize we as humans generalize and judge people all the time.

    whether it be bums on the train or that white guy in the corporate suit you see on the bus, you have already made a judgement about these people such as how much money they make, where they live, their educational acheivements, ect. we make judgements and generalizations to protect ourselves and to avoid trouble. the idea is basically this: ive dealt with such and such women before and got this result. ive done this and this yet still ive gotten the same result. when i venture out and dealt with these other types of women, ive gotten this and this result(better more favorable result.) the concept is akin to buying a certain deoderant and using it constantly and it does not work. then going out and buying a new brand and seeing a whole new result. then from that experience you determine that any product made by the previoues brand is not worth buying.

    its funny cause as i type this now, a week ago i was privey to a situation that occurred as i was leaving class. as i headed to the train station (on 34th street on the f line), i saw a nice young pair of AA girls walking by me. and as i began entering the train station, a gentlemen who was handing out flyers said” how you doing miss” real polite like with a country accent. now this girl just ignores him and he goes ” damn miss, really?” now this girl spins around with such intensity and says” shut the fuck up!” then she proceeds to curse him out and ending with ” didn’t think i would say shut the fuck up did you? niggas like you keep making my taxes go. you need to get a fucking job!” now im like wow, where the hell did that come from? it was uncalled for and just plan disrespectful.

    i bring this story up because i have ALOT of stories like this where ive either walked into the middle of one or have been there during the begining where an AA girl is popping off at the mouth with no regard to who she is talking to and an amount of energy and anger that is above and beyond the level of response you would give such a situation. when you compare dealing with that all the time to whats on the other side of the fence, i think most guys or whoever would come to the same conclusion those other fellows advocated before.

  • Casey

    Response to Cronos:

    By your logic, should I conclude that all Black American men are dogs because I ran into one or two Black American men are dogs?

  • Casey

    And the whole irony of it is that my generally laid back, easy-going demeanor has earned me the label of not being a “real” Black woman by men who extol these same traits in foreign women. Go figure.

  • nativesam

    I understand the brothers claim of going to another country and finding a wife. True there are some black women here in america who do those chores,etc but those are few and far betwwen. The men i know and that goes for me do not want a diva, sapphira or jezebel type of a woman from any race or culture. It seems that is accepted in black america and it stinks to high heaven. The black culture has lost its mind on both sides(male/female). Folks need to go back to the bible and follow
    Christ not some mega church with these pimps in the pulpit who demonize men & uplift the women. Trust me most black(godly or good) are sick of that from these churches & women. It is no surprise that they are looking at south america, central america, canada, & the carribbean to find a wife. I do did not say sex thing or girlfriend. Only a handful of black men will venture out of the country, most brothers will deal with sisters here & that is ok. Each man must weigh what is feasible to him with regards to a wife. I wish those brothers well on dealing with sisters here in America.

  • Bambi

    Yes, Cronos it is pure human nature for people to judge by what we see….I can be very shallow…I will own that…but I don’t think hey that ugly person or fat person wont be a good person because their ugly/fat IMO… well as those two AA women….they were females…possibly gutter trollops who had their heads stuck so far up there ass that they could not see how ignorant they were being plus how many steps they were taking AA’s back(sorry I’m black not AA….there is a difference for me but that is another discussion)…..and yes I am aware that not all black men think Dominican women are the best ting god made….I am only discussing the ones who do(in-case anyones wondering)…….i grew up in a two parent house hold, where my mother is the bread winner….my father did a lot as well do not get me wrong he was a retired policeman by the time i was born….which was 4years after they were married….after 12hr work days she still cooks and cleans…..they have their ruff spots but the push through them…i know i am lucky to have this strong example to instill me…i know that….because of my home i know how to support my black man irregardless of his short comings or situation…..but as of late this is not good enough…so i have now worked a 12hr day and i must leave so now i am going home to my dog who loves me for who i am good and bad….not a man who will do the same….damn thats pitiful lol…good night

  • cronos

    you know whats funny is pretty much the other half of this debate or discussion coming from the men who are having this problem are basically saying what i theorized. i mean if a man is a dog, treat him like one. with respect but like a dog. if he smashes one chick then goes to another and another, then be smart enought to know he is only good for one thing. dont be an ass about it, disrespectful or rude, just use that person or persons for what they do best then move on. dont try to change them for the better unless your absolutely sure they are worth trying to change. other than that, stop hoping that a dog can turn into prince charming.

    hoping your not trying to oversimplify my statement but in a way yes. granted the parameters of your judgement are based around the fact that all or most of your subsequent relationships with black men/or Men of any race or such have been bad then by logic, i would figure you would steer clear of those types of men. just like if you know a friend who dates deadbeats, broke brothers, wifebeaters, ect, would steer clear of such men when standing face to face with the warning signs flashing her in the face.

    just the same if i have certain characteristics or traits that i want to avoid in a women such as golddigging, being bitchy, hood-rat asethetics(the coloring of the hair making one look like an anime character) i would try avoiding women of that nature. is there a certain warning sign telling when im dealing with this type of women? yes and it so happens to be that they are black(some times spanish). yes i do realize that not all black women are like that and that women from other races can and are like that but it is more likely that to be when im dealing with an AA Girls or women(for me atleast).

  • cronos

    hahahahaha, its sad because it all comes down to dealing with sistas in the U.S. not coming to terms, relating to, or communicating with, its DEALING WITH SISTAS IN THE U.S. hahahaha. to me it just sounds bad. unless you wanna use another choice of words?

  • Amerioca

    I’ll keep it simple sistas are sexy and the attitude can be appealing, but…As Brasileras e Dominicanas sao belezas. Sao os melhor! We’re talking in every color , shape, and combination there of. Just stunning! African blood lines are present in all but some based on culture, style, and genetic pool pairings has an appeal that is undeniable. Simple as that! That being said my finance is a Brasilera, claro que sim!

  • Alex2000

    Good subject guys, but unfortunately, the real issue still remains in the foggy conversations and reasonings that I have read in this post. Bottom line: Black men have and continue to look for approval and legitimacy in their lives. We constanly have to proove ourselves, no matter how capable we are (Even President Obama goes through this and he’s the POTUS). Racism, bigotry, blatant bias, not to mention DWB&WWB(driving while black, walking while black) is usually the norm.
    On top of that, the incarceration industry has ensured that plenty of money is made by keeping brothers in jail. Nobody escapes this..even smart, financially secure educated black men like myself.( Look what happened to an Ivy League Professor getting arrested in his own home).
    Historically, the one thing that kept a brotha going was his woman. She was the queen and he was treated as the king of his castle and for once during the day, his woman was home to take care of him and his castle and make everything okay. Of course, that was back in the 50′s when opportunities for black women were either a teacher, nurse, or homemaker.
    There has been a significant change and all western women are more educated and empowered to be more independent. Many white women earned their education and started careers but chose to become the homemaker and “Soccer Mom” .
    Black women today are overwhelmingly preferred for hiring over black men and the powers that be prefer it that way because of the great fear that black men would take over the corporate world or God forbid, advance into Wall Street in great numbers. So essentially, you are left with large numbers of black men who don’t feel validated and sometimes powerless, so they seek the woman who will cook, clean, become a mother and give him the space he needs to be loyal and maybe go out and responsibly get a little from time to time. Many black women have a problem with that kind of relationship and will drop a hard working, intelligent brotha who spends time with his kids and treats his woman good all because he wanted to express his independence from time to time. For men, many times, sex is not attached to intimacy as oppossed to women who give sex in exchange for a relationship and often seek attachment after the act. Dominican women are more accommodating and as long as you are stepping up and being the man of the house and hadling your business, she will stand by you and support you and even let you have a little independence from time to time because she knows that after all is said and done, you are coming home to her.( Many change that tune really fast once they have the green card in hand and gain American citizenship. Many have left their man standing with bags in hand as soon as they arrived at the nearest stateside airport).
    So I will give these brothas going to the DR to find a wife a lot of respect because at least they are smart enough to find a woman compatible with the lifestyle they prefer and respectfully stay away from the American sista’s who disagree with this kind of relationship and “aint havin it”

  • cronos

    i think as the culture begins to change and the people who have adopted it and who grew up in it have to a certain extent changed to the point where these individuals have begun to adopt new values and ideas about what it means to be a man or women and in our case Black men and black women.

    some of us have evolved beyond the stereo types that are so often forced upon us by either outside influences or our own peers. and as this occurs, this new breed of people and mentality begins to clash with the old vangaurds of the culture(i.e. chris rocks says it best, “i love black people, but i hate niggas”) not to say that the issue is about black people and “niggas” but the gender roles and race roles that AA People slip into when interacting with their own kind. to me this is what causes the friction between the sexes.

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  • Rocko

    The bottom line is black women ruined the Black American household because they demanded authority over their men as opposed to being their partners.

    Rather than allowing intelligent, established, authentic black men love them, respect them, nurse them, care for them, and support them, black women were not satisfied because Euro-American influences convinced them to fight for rights at home. Unfortunately, they listened to devils as opposed to joining forces with the black man they claimed to love and ended up destroying the fabric of the black family.

    Now, black women are chasing white, Latino, and Asian men and claim no good black men exist. Or, they go a step further and echo what we see on television; black men are either in prison, unemployed, cheaters, or under-educated. What a crock of crap.

    In fact, black women tolerate more crap from white men and take it because they have an addiction and it starts with the misinformation they allow into their ears, the chemicals they put in their hair, and ends with the bleaching products they purchase in record numbers to spread across their skin to look more like them.

    So, if the black man tires of being pushed in different directions, and gives up on interpreting your increasingly confusing behavior because Euro-influences leave you feeling ugly and insecure, why should the black man waste his time playing along in your sandbox?

    The real problem is black women have allowed everything around them, other than the man that truly loved them, influence their thinking and behavior. When I see a black woman, I immediately think “there is my sister and I would defend her honor any day of the week if she is authentic.” When I see a black woman with fake hair extensions, blonde, wearing colored contacts, and chemically treated from head to toe with bleaching products, I think “what a disaster and look at the self-hate.”

    You don’t need Oprah to tell you how to have a happy home. She isn’t married and her lifestyle is not your lifestyle. You don’t need Tyra Banks, celebrities, recording artists, models, or even the pastor telling you what’s good for you. You don’t need the Euro-centric media telling you dark skin is ugly or Beyonce’s hair is what you need to feel good about yourself. All you need is a a solid education, an honorable black husband, a clear conscience, and faith in God to protect you and your family from the devil.

    And should a problem arise, be diplomatic and turn to your black man to work it out. The neighborhood, girlfriends, and family members are not your advisors. Be mature about the situations you face and I can guarantee you, the only trip to the Dominican Public or anywhere else will be one with you on vacation.

    Please stay natural and may God bless you sis’.

    Your Big Brother!

  • kendra

    Wow thats whats up, thanks for sharing your story..: )

  • Alex2000

    I agree with “Rocko” wholeheartedly. The problem all along has been the “Influencers.” Little do black women know is that these “influencers” have ensured that black men are given the revolving door in our prisons so they can not be home to help mentor and raise the children they help bring into this world, given substandard education in our schools to result in low college enrollment rates, biologically ensure that more black women are born than black men to interrupt the mating scheme.
    And now these “influencers” have ensured that with the change of the American economy switching from a manual/industrial enviroment to a computer technological workplace, black men are overlooked for jobs or don’t have enough education to compete in those jobs.
    The “influencers” have told them that black men are not compatible or intimidated by black women nowadays and now is the time for black women to take a “dip in the snow.” So black women have asked everyone and been influenced and advised by all except the black man himself.
    As a result, I know many black men who were able to feel needed and loved by a Dominican woman and it inspired one that I know to work hard and even find way’s to step up to be a better provider and father to the kids.
    That individual even went back to college and law school and is now a corporate lawyer because his Dominican wife didn’t look down on him but made him “feel” like a man empowered to have ambition and go after goals and dreams. She encouraged him to go after his dream and she stood by him all the way. He proudly tells everyone that it was his beautiful Dominican senorita that has made him the man he is today. These women have the ability to make a man feel like a man and they don’t stop being beautiful and attractive once they get a ring on their finger. They realize that if you want to keep a good man, you have to be willing to put in some work instead of getting lazy and feeling like you no longer have to stay attractive to your man (thats why many older Dominican women are just as beautiful as young Dominican girls)
    That’s another reason we seek Dominican women because they give us everything we miss at home. Maybe black women should make Dominican senorita’s their advisers instead of listening to the folks who have a strategic interest to destroy the black family. And the way..Dominican blood has a large percent of African blood in it so it’s not like we are dating women who are totally not of color.

  • AdriB

    [thumbs up]

  • WldFlwrChld

    I know this is a black-American centered website, but I would just like to put it out there that exoticism of other “races” is a man thing. And, many times, even a woman thing. The only exception is usually among some racists and the extremely conservative (more for religious and cultural than racial reasons). My white liberal friends are all enamored with non-whites. Liberal blacks do the same. Indians, Asians, Latinos, Africans, Caribs, you name it.

    So far I’ve been to Spain, Portugal, Argentina, Uruguay, Taiwan, and Thailand which all have little-to-no black population. I was MOBBED. Men dropped what they were doing to run after me and ask me on dates, some even asked to take pictures of and with me, I caused two car accidents, the list goes on and on. I’m definitely an attractive woman, but I’m not THAT fine! (hahaha) Proof: never happened in Puerto Rico, Jamaica, or any Carib islands I’ve been to. It was the “exotic” aspect. So, it’s just…what it is. No need to dog out black women and say it’s because they don’t do x, y, and z. Or pit them against Dominican women.

    (Weird. I’ve never heard this before.)

    I definitely understand the underlying issue within the statements, however men who accuse black women of being too dominant fail to assess whether or not they are bringing to the table a situation that she would feel comfortable relaxing in. Trust me, every woman would LOOOOOVE to be in a secure situation where they don’t have to worry about how the bills are going to get paid, everyone’s gonna get to where they need to go, everyone’s gonna get what they need, and make sure she doesn’t end up up the creek without a paddle (think: post-divorce finances), etc. Problem is, these days PERIOD (for woman of any sort) that doesn’t necessarily exist. With divorce rates so high, women can’t just worry about how to cook, clean, and serve. Because post-divorce, those skills will not pay above minimum wage. And that goes for all women. Especially in the US. I actually have a number of friends (of different races, nationalities, and socioeconomic levels) who are presently on their career grind for that specific reason. They saw the hell their “cook, clean, and serve” housewife mommas went through and want better for themselves. Because having no financial standing leaves the woman vulnerable to becoming prisoner to a lot of b.s.

    I find that most men that complain about black women being too dominant are usually the ones that want to come to them with a bunch of b.s. (instability, infidelity, baby momma drama, lack of ambition, etc.) because a man truly on his game would match up or surpass and there would be no question of who’s the stronger/dominant partner. Because we women all want princes. We grew up on Disney movies and graduated to romantic dramas and comedies. We have believed in them for a very long time…but then we have to date “real” “men.” And then things change. (But we still hold out. So, men, start being princes. And it’ll get better. Might take some work, but it really will. Trust.)

  • WldFlwrChld

    Dude. Exoticism is an international thing. I have plenty of black, white, etc. female friends who are 100% U.S. American who go to Brasil and get MADDD play. Because in Brasil, they’re the exotic ones. It’s not that Brazilians are more beautiful than anyone else, it’s that you probably don’t have many mixed beauties beyond black-and-white halfies where you live (and grew up) so to you it’s a big deal. Send a black American woman to Spain or Argentina. The men there will say the same thing about them that you do about Brazilians. (I know from personal experience.)

    And don’t forget about Brazil high rate of plastic surgery in certain regions. If that’s what you’re into, cool. But recognize that it’s not a “more beautiful” thing, it’s the exotic aspect.

  • cronos

    you might be mistaken in assuming that the whole cooking,cleaning, baby watching is the actual issue( well maybe it is for some guys,lol) but i think the real issue is that when dealing with black women in the U.S. (A.A Women) it has something to do with attitude and behavior, and for me what you can bring to the table. Now the whole atttitude and behavior thing has to do with maybe the back talk, the rudeness, bouisie demeaner, coupled with that fact that when dating women are not seen as having to bring anything to the table(job, house, car,ect.)

    so the basic roles of both sexes is a little off balance as far as the responsibilities go(paying for the date, having the car, having the crib, paying the rent completely on both sides, paying for all the extra expenses, and pretty much anything that has to do with money and complete support). now for most guys who possess those financial pillars it wouldnt be much of a problem to just step into those roles described above but to also “deal with” the typical attitude and behavior of A.A. Women compound the stress of the situation and relationship.

    think about this, in a typical relationship, the man has to ” insert statement in parathesis from above here”. from my experiences, the women brings nothing to the relationship except looks and ideals(which isnt half bad,lol) but in order to have a relationship that can turn into a financially stable marriage, both sides have to bring something to the table FINANCIALLY. with the financial situation dealt with and a relationship built between 2 mature people, the man would not have go out and do his dirt with other women because since everything is taken cared of, the women is happy and therefore more aggreable in interactions. but since most of the financial burden falls on the man and he is forced to step into the role of complete caregiver and breadwinner for the family, alot of stress adds on to the mans frustration, leading him to search for women he can just smash and do his dirt with out the obligation of paying for this or that( a financial obligation). understanding this coupled with again the mainstream A.A. women culture and behavior is not inducive of fostering relationships between the sexes. Communication is only possible between equals, and in relationships of the sexes, men and women are not equal, period.
    2 random points i would like to bring up, 1) while i was applying for college a few months ago, standing in a line waiting for my ID, A Chick with her mom was talking about a guy they knew. the young girl was telling her mom that they guy was really cool and all but he asked her to borrow a 20. the mom went bugged eye and was like you better drop that sucker. you want a man to take care of you, a baller. dont deal with men like that.
    2) back in the day during the 1300 and 1400s , fathers hating having daughters because when they tried to marry off the daughter, it was customery for the family of the bride to give the groom a dowery of nearly the entire family fortune. because once he married her, he was responsible for everything, all her expenses, housing, ect. she didnt have to worry about a thing. alot of these customs have been carried over into our culture now. guess which parts have survived,lol.

  • WldFlwrChld

    oooOOOooo…I think I assumed the target audience of this site were black American professionals so I didn’t factor women with no job, house, car, etc. into the mix (I assumed all women addressed had that.). As sense of “entitlement” is definitely a problem that you find on both ends. Tryfling men who want the perfect wife and tryfling women who want the perfect husband. And that’s in all cultural/racial/socioeconomic groups.

    In terms of the girl at the college, her mom’s attitude might not necessarily be “you gotta have a baller, shot-caller, brawler (?).” There is something to be said for someone who knows how to work and take care of their finances. I worked three different gigs (biochem lab, GED Tutoring, and after school classroom assistant) while in college so that I would not have to ask my parents for money and, when I lost my job in 2008, I managed to secure $1000 by working promotion gigs that following Wed-Sun. I was also able to pay all bills in cash for the next two months while I looked for work (i.e. no debt collection). I have no credit card debt and almost half of my income goes to savings, retirement, and investments. The only devil is that daggon’ Sallie Mae. (Shake of the fist!) Given that, I have a certain value in an adult person’s ability to be secure financially. This is mostly because a number of people I know who have a lot of debt have nice expansive wardrobes, laid out pads, fancy electronic toys, etc. In this job economy, I’ve had a lot of friends who have gone into debt because of their refusal to (1) curb their spending or (2) work a small gig to make ends meet. I would like a mate who shares my money views and work ethic. I think I’d be very frustrated if I were to go hard in a pressing time and be paired with someone that doesn’t have the same attitude. Aren’t the top two reasons for divorce sex and money? I have, at least, a sure way to eliminate one of those problems.

    Since we don’t know what that guy wanted the money for, we can’t make judgment on him, but the above could explain the mom’s look. Rather than “he ain’t a baller because he needs it,” the mother could have been thinking more along the lines of “why does he need if from YOU?” Which is a valid point. Has he not heard of work?

    In terms of the shout out to the 1300s and such, I think that idea carry over definitely remains. Notice that men get paid more than their female counterparts for the same exact job? It’s not just an act of sexism or discrimination as it is usually one-sidedly portrayed. I suspect that built in the system is the assumption that males are the head of a household. On the other hand, women aren’t given what would be their version of consideration which would be to work shorter days and be home to cook, clean, and do all those other domestic things. These days, maternity leave is barely a month in most places. Even in the military, it’s only six weeks! So…she tosses her husband the rubber gloves and heads to the kitchen.

    (Note: this does not apply to women with no job who do nothing around the house. That’s tryfling. And husband slavery versus a partnership. So they get no love.)

  • WldFlwrChld

    (This comment is @cronos)

  • tae

    Ok as a black men (29). Why do SOME black women care if some black guy’s date women from other races, I mean so, who cares, it’s their life to live. Black women get way to mad about that, why? I date black, white, asia, latina, because that’s what I want to do. My sister who is also black have a mixed race child and I have no problem with that but she still gets mad when she see’s a black man dating outside of his race, why? My thing is if I can’t find a good black women to date, I’ll look else where, and if their’s a black women out their that can’t find a good black guy, by all means date outside your race, be open to all things that can make you happy. And yes my first option would be a black women because that what I prefer, it’s my life. So to my black women, stop complaining and start dating all races of people, don’t be close minded.

  • WldFlwrChld

    Read the post again. In this case, it’s the fact that the reason sited for dating Dominicans is because black women are bad for x,y, and z reasons. If that sentiment was left out, there would be less upset black women. I think the repeated use of the “black women are bad” argument, coupled with the regarding one’s mate as your “white/asian/latina/etc. mate” makes in an issue. Because the race issue is created and, hence, made an issue. Instead of the person just being your “mate.”

    Also, many people are mixing socioeconomic level and race as causes for certain attitudes. The poverty outside the United States…cannot even be compared to that here. Women in developing countries (especially those only surrounded by other poor countries) face a coupling of less liberties with even less opportunities. There are no “rags to riches” stories without the availability of a big break. Or even a small break to work up from. To some it just looks like they “work hard to make sure that they are good to their men” but there’s a lot more going on.

  • tae

    To WldFlwrChld,,,,,, you said ( regarding one’s mate as your “white/asian/latina/etc. mate” makes it an issue.) WHY??? I mean, look don’t get me wrong, I love love love my strong, beautiful black women, but it’s 2010 baby, lets move on and not worry about some black guy you don’t know love life. And to me I think women of other races do to same thing. So look, you have insecure men in ALL races, trust me, I know a lot of men from other races “white, latino, haitian” and their just as much as dogs as AA men are. All I’m saying is as black people let’s stop the silly back and forth, and start appreciating each other.

  • WldFlwrChld


    Woah! You directed your post at me but your response seems to be for someone else cuz you’re griping out of the lines of my post. You asked why SOME black women get upset. So I answered. WHY regarding your romantic partner as your “white/asian/latina/etc. mate” makes it an issue is because there are MILLIONS of other qualifying adjectives. Is she conservative? Religious? From a rural area? Tight knit with her family? These are all factors that play a greater role in a woman’s being like or unlike the “ideal” women described above than simply a woman’s racial makeup.

    Translation: if the world had it all together, this subject wouldn’t exist. It’d be as weird as debating over dating women with long vs. short eyelashes. Do you think there’s something in a woman’s eyelash length that makes her a good or bad woman? Exactly.

    I agree with the fact that it’s 2010 and we need to move on. But we need to move on beyond just not worrying about some strangers interracial love. What my post was saying is that we need to move past this whole “interracial issue” period. Two people together should just be two people together. I think that the only relevance someone’s race/ethnicity/nationality should serve should be if you want some recipes, are interested in different customs (music, religion, social structure, etc), or are interested in world history/politics/literature/language/etc. But to use it to divide and create ranking systems (as is done in this original post)…that’s crazy nonsense.

    So…please chill and actually READ what I type instead of going off on some totally unfounded rant to some mentality that pissed you off waaaaay before you even wrote what I typed. (I’m Guyanese. One branch of my maternal family is Afro/black-Caribbean and the other Indo-Caribbean, so I have NOTHING against interracial coupling. That’s how I got here. Also, note that I mentioned previously I’ve dated non-blacks so…your response to me makes ZERO sense. I know what year it is.)

    Also, you’re making up even more things to beef about, I never said anything about AA black men being dogs. That’s allllllll you. (Or maybe that mentality that you were angry at before even reading my post.) What I said is that this whole “race hang up” is an American thing. Which it is. American blacks and whites are the most stressed out by this unnecessary “issue.” Go check out blogs of other communities and see how many of them spend half as much time rehashing interracial dating over and over again.

    Having dated men from a number of backgrounds, I agree that no racial group deserves the award for “group with most upstanding men.” Same goes for women. Which is what I have been saying. Which is the exact OPPOSITE of the attitudes of the three “men” “quoted” in this post.

  • WldFlwrChld

    @tae: I think you went wrong on your assumption that I’m the angry black woman who’s beefing. Actually, I’m coming from the perspective of the “non-American” or “not-too-American” black girl with the “good hair.” I had a heated debate with an ex-boyfriend when he told me that me having an Arabic last name and “not being American” was a “bonus” because of the same ideas expressed above: black American women have this, that, and the other mentality. But once we started talking, he started to see it as a socio-economic issue as opposed to an American vs. not issue. Which is what this all really is. I grew up in a pretty shaking-and-moving suburb of Chicago and none of my friends from high school fall into this “tryflin with no job, car, house, blah blah blah” category. But the chicks my mom taught who grew up in the projects with young mothers and little security. Yes, a few. We all know family cycles are hard to break. Which is awesome when the parents are good and on their grind. And detrimental when they are not.

  • tae

    To all my beautiful black women, I’m sorry for all of these self-hating negros negative comments, i’m not innocent. We as black people, some of us are brainwashed. The hole freaking world want to look like black women like sun tanning for darker skin, lip injections for full lips, booty injections for big booty, boob job for bigger tits but noooooo blacks are suppose to be ugly?????? Black women are under attack, and I just hope, that some of my Real brothas can stand up and define there honor. Again as a black man I’m sorry,
    P.S. And stop reading crap like this. Black women have been the backbone of our race for far to long, it’s time for real black men to stand the f*&k up, stop going to jail and open up a darn book. We owe it to our beautiful black queens. And yes I love a little sassiest in my black women, very sexy. Only real man can handle it.

  • cronos

    i agree with you on the whole both sexes being tryflying on both sides when it comes to the relationship( but being a man i seem to see only the part of me picking up the bill on all accounts, LOL.)
    with the situation with the young lady and the gentlemen friend, to me is something a bit in the ways of friendship. if im your friend (and forget for a moment about the differences of the sexes) and we are tight, and you asked me for a few bucks(20, 30, ect), i wouldnt have a problem with it. add into the mix that we are dating and think about it. if my girl asked me for some money, im “socially obligated” to give it to her or hense i would be frowned upon as a cheap scate or loser.

    flipping the script for a moment, if i asked my girl for some money for whatever reason, she might give it to me but the underlining thought running around in her head or the social perception would be and i quote from you, ” Has he not heard of work?”. i would assume this means “go out and get a damn job!” mind you that in both instances the man is the supporter and provider, not someone who shares equally in the relationship “expenses”. the relationship is not, “we lean on each other to make it together.” its really , ” you can lean on me all you want but when i need help, i have to just make it on my own!” the women, in my experiences, have always saved their money for themselves( even when they had a good job and could support themselves), with out fully sharing the burden of finances, period.

    also the comment stated above im not quote sure how to interpret it. i mean the man asked her to borrow a few bucks and she related it to her mom. the mom basically stated it is not socially “accepted” to give men money. plus she told her to only deal with a certain type of man(ballar, and i kid you not, she actually said that word). the women knows the guys well and speaks highly of him(they are friends, however you want to put that), and you basically state why dont you have a job and why are you asking me for it? ok well maybe i lost my job recently and cant make the bills. maybe that 20 or 30 will give me gas for the car or train fair to get to the next interveiw for that brand spanking new job im gonna get. maybe i didnt loose my job but had to spend everything on rent and bills and so i dont have money for food for the next week or 2. ect, ect.

    im pretty sure if you asked around, some people will give you a positive politically correct answer about what they think about this exact situation about the young lady and the gentlemen friend. but in the back of our minds and our social programming those social roles and what is expected of both is far uneven and will continue to play out and manifest until we sit and truelly discuss “true” equality” of the sexes. until then hakim will sow his wild oats while shakima rotates her head and snaps her fingers at him for not putting up 20 for a new manicure,lol.

  • cronos

    also alot of this post and the sentiments shared in it go further than just black men not getting along with black women. alot of it i believe has to do with equality of the sexes. and to me, the sexes are not equal. it is quite evident in the laws we are governed by the social mores and taboos we take in upon ourselves to follow. we are not equal.

  • NaturallyJay

    I AM So in love with Tae right now :) ….. it really feels good to be appreciated and that what is lacking on both ends. being pissed off reading some of the comments and its like common now. I can not speak for evey women but im sure some can relate to what i am saying. You want to leave just because a lady is getting on your nerves you want to go to someone who may just say “Yes dear and never mind” when YOU can simply say “Baby its been a very long day not trying to be disrepectful but can i just hug you and get a kiss and be left alone right now we can talk later” communication and save and it can kill a relationship. i can take that then to be in a long relationship and you leave because you dont want to even discuss whats wrong to fix it later. all bad boo. Really

    speaking to different Women we have all types of reasons they act they way they do. i know men have been hurt to, but not as much….from my experense ive dated where my dude at the time would break up with me to be with someone else and then get back with me. 3 times i stayed faithful honest and by his side threw whatever and never questioned just been there and i got tired of being hurt. do i leave my black men no i love em stay and be me with them. i am a women that believe if i wont another will and you best believe you wont another man will for me. i have and will cooked for my man, cleaned and massaged while watching you play the game believe me i love sports so thats not a problem. i like to consider myself a very great lady to whomever i am dating but after being left by sooooooo many men ( father included) i still Have love for them. i work 2 jobs and a hustle and still Make time for whomever i am dating if you put in the time i will…. there is no excuse and i believe that there is nothing a woman wont do for her man in love, but we have to feel safe and secure with you. know that we arent being played at the end of the day you running tellin everything to the next man that aint koo. My ex even told me i go out my way to much for a man and that is something i shouldnt as a women do. So now i am confused ? do i go out my way ? do i play coo while you deal with a slut, hoe , and even bitch ? i mean someone answer that riddle for me because i am real and im still single. getting hurt by my black men and still loving you(BM)… i just dont get it ?? i may just venture off my damn self.

    Everyone is going to be mad that your own race goes to venture off and when you get done wrong so many times you can see in other races how they can possibly treat you and become curious. i do now even but i love my men. Men Communitcate and Women lets listen sqash the bull because believe it or not everyonen gives it… even from different race its just a matter of time when you see it… :) Kisses to all GOODMEN and go find a hole to crawl in to the Perpetrators.

  • Latin Swaggerific 102

    Im a latin female. My parents are both Dominican and I was born here in New York. Its true that in the Dominican culture women are taught at an early age to care for their man and to give them the “respect they deserve” but these women are not “easy” as some have described. They too voice their oppinions and can be very independent. They are just not as demanding. As long as a man is taking care of his duties financially, emotionally, physically etc. they will treat them right. So although it may not seem like it in others eyes, it is a give and take relationship 50/50. Over the years this manner of thinking has evolved in all cultures. I feel as well as many others that if i can do for myself why bother with the drama that sometimes comes in a relationship unless your looking for love. Men despite of the race need to acknowledge that women don’t take s*** from men no more and are independent. They have to bring something worthwhile to the relationship and Im pretty sure they will find that their women will go all out for them.

  • Alex2000

    I think “Latin Swaggerific 102″ kind of hit the nail on the head when she explains in so many words that as long as a man is doing his job, the Dominican woman will stand by her man. I think there are a lot of brothers out there who would still date black women if they found the right one.
    I think the black culture is missing out on a great opportunity right now by ignoring a bad situation (the economy) and not making a positive thing out of it…let me briefly explain:
    The day’s of prosperous living under the Clinton Administration where many women were overwhelmingly empowered with the momentum of a strong economy, increased educational opportunities and independence to live without a man have now passed. These same black women are now elbowing each other to get on dating sites, going to clubs, and even hanging out at gas stations trying to “snatch” the same black men they were bitching and rolling their eyes and neck to 15 years ago.
    George Bush and his bank buddies made them think they were independent women by giving them overblown home mortgages and easy car financing. “I can do this all by myself” became their motto and many of them even turned to dating women. Most of the black women who were single mothers were so busy trying to be independent until they have produced many young girls who are totally disrespectful, rude, selfish and have no class at all…so the next generation of black women will be even worse than what we brothers already have to put up with now.
    To be totally fair…black men are to blame for a lot of this by letting a small few of the elite class force Rap music and bad movies that totally direspect our women and treat them like a piece of meat.
    The Great Steve Harvey recently stated that Black people are the only race in the world that produce music to totally disrespect our women which I am so ashamed to admit..but it’s true.
    There is an old saying that, “If you treat people like they are _____and____, they will start to act like they are ______and ____”…You can fill in the blanks with B***** and H*** when it comes to our black culture.
    Now is the time during these hard times to turn that around….start handling our business as black men, start going to college instead of prison, re-dedicate ourselves to respecting our black women and apply the “Reverse Psychology” that brings them back to reality and off that high horse many of them have been riding over the last 15 years. This will take time and a lot of patience which I don’t have a lot left nowaday’s…so I will leave the above advice for the younger brothers…In the meantime..I will continue to enjoy my beautiful, smart, and tactful Dominican sisters until their government gets smart on what us “Gringo” brothers are doing and seal the border so we can’t marry any more of their women:)…

  • WldFlwrChld

    Each culture’s approach to romantic relationships has its strengths and weaknesses. From my discussions and experience with people of various backgrounds, no culture has a winning approach to ensure a happy dating or marriage. No countries produce perfect women or men.

    The mindset of “Dominican women are better then black American women” reminds me of the attitudes of those people who convert between religions. I’ve seen Christian to Muslim, Muslim to Christian, Jew to Christian, Christian to Jew, Hindu to Christian…you get the point. ANYWHOO, a trend that I notice is that converts tend to be very hard on the shortcomings of the religious order in which they were born and raised, but less critical of their new belief system. The funny thing is, most people from each group complain of the same things: gossip and nosiness, hypocrisy, and accepted conclusions whose parts don’t add up. Members who remain in their birth religion are more or less critical depending on how freely expressive they are trained to be. Same goes here. Most people I meet who make it a point to not date within their race but date people of X decent, totally turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of X people while putting the spotlight on the faults of their own people. It might be human nature. The desire to validate the blind faith that there is that perfect person, place, or thing, perhaps.

  • Alex2000

    Wildflower, Although I do agree that we men can be a bit slow…lol..but I think many would concur that we have long realized that there is no such thing as the perfect woman nor do we look at relationships in a “conversion” perspective. I think the issue at hand is “COMPATIBILITY”..which is why men of all colors and backgrounds find the Dominican woman a suitable mate.
    Keep in mind that white men are also very vocal about their dissatisfaction for white women( ala..marriages to Asian women and Latino women). There are Dominican women who are not marriage material who are materialistic, use their beauty to manipulate and have downright short infer or think that men see Dominican women as perfect is a false claim.
    The fact of the matter is the Dominican culture puts a strong emphasis on family and the role of the wife and husband often validated by the Catholic culture(which needs improvement here at home) and the economy of that area provides an enviroment where partnerships and teamwork is needed for survival. Although in many cases the reason for this can many times be attributed to economic conditions, it developes a very compatible woman for a man who is responsible,loyal, loving, caring, a good provider and willing to treat the woman who will let him take the lead and support his ambitions like the true queen that she is. Many black women I meet feel they no longer need to take on that role because of the “I can do this all by myself” mentality. Yes..A Dominican woman who comes to the states can fall victim to the same mentality, but more likely to stay more grounded for the sake of a happy marriage/relationship.
    Many women will look at black men as turning their back on black women, but I applaud any educated
    man who have the versatility and appreciation for all cultures brave enough to travel the world in search of the compatible soul mate.

  • Latin Swaggerific 102

    Alex2000 I see that you have spent aot of time analyzing the “Dominican Sista” but I have to say that of all the comments/disputes on this topic, you keep a neutral approach. Ultimately beauty is left to the eye of the beholder. Us women as well as the men have to rebuild our collapsed philosphies on hookin up.

    NyCityMama your soo right about the Dominican man. Many, not all are players which is why Dominican women tend to look out of their race. Lets keep in mind that men will be men and it does happen in all other races, just differently. The Dominican man has been spoiled by the dedicated ways of the Dominican women that they feel that what we do is a must(latin ego).These men very rarely believe in giving to a realtionship like helping around the house, raising children(other than discipline), and showing a loving layed back side of them. Dont misunderstand me now, there has been some change in the younger Dominican males but only in a few. Overall I must say that these are my views and I dont expect approval from others. This is intended for others who may have experienced these type of issues.

  • Alex2000

    Soo..LatinSwaggerific 102..based on your observation, I’m wondering if you feel that American men (black or white Gringo’s) bring more to the table when it comes to dating or marrying a Dominican woman since you agree with NYCityMama?
    Damn…I’m so happy that the majority of the Dominican sista’s I have met don’t act like NYCityMama. Seems like she is touched with a bit of “Stolhomme Syndrome” and have caught the black sista fever) . Whenever I travel to the DR, I know a lot of those sista’s who were raised to hear no evil and see no evil and put up with the abuse, but at least they are strong enough and have the self confidence to know that maybe there is something better for them out there even if it means leaving the country to marry a foreign man(Granted he is indeed a sincere and responsible man with trustful intentions). Sounds like she prefers to have a Dominican woman just stay and be sentenced to a life of unhappiness and brutal hell. :(
    Yes.. you are correct in saying beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, which is why I don’t understand the resentment and nasty comments on this post about men who simply find Dominican women compatible with their dreams and goals( We are actually a small minority because many men have been burned by Dominican sista’s who were gold diggers and wanted a Green card ). I know personally that that is not true and many of them would prefer to just have a good man marry and stay with them in the DR). I myself personally would never just want a piece of a** to cook and clean for me..actually my last relationship with a DR sista was more of a partnership (which lasted 10 years) and a situation whereby she was the “anchor” and provided the love and motivation that encouraged me to work hard to be the best man that I could be for her. The mutual respect and open communication still exist to this day.
    It’s funny how caucasion men have been dating outside their race for generations and you never hear a lot of flak from caucasion women, but if a black man decides to travel outside the country to find compatibility and true love ( Lets not forget…Over 89% of black men STILL date and marry black women) All hell breaks loose and we are accused of turning our backs on our women and other insane and paranoid delusions.

  • WldFlwrChld

    So, we’ve had the back-and-forth, now to making this conversation productive:

    What are the solutions to undoing this schism? I’m not saying that all black American men have to date black American women or vice versa, but I think we should definitely get rid of the “anti-black American woman (and men on other sites)” sentiment. It’s weird that people who grow up together as friends, neighbors, classmates, siblings, cousins, play cousins, and crushes become adults and then don’t like or respect each other. Because when we’re kids, it seems to be all good. That needs to be fixed. A few ideas:

    1. One of the commonly cited problems is black women turning independence into an “I can do it on my own” in-your-face mean mantra. Get rid of that. Individualism is driving the world into the ground. We are all connected. And whatever you’re doing on your own, you’d be doubling, tripling, etc. if you had a partner working cooperatively with you. That’s just….math.

    2. Obvi that a number of black women (and women of all races, actually) are currently doing better professionally, financially, etc. than their male counterparts. It seems to me that there is a greater gap between the sexes within the black American community. What doesn’t seem to be adding up is the fact that a number of these successful women become mothers and raise sons, so there should be some positive correlation with the increase in the average success level of the black American male. So…share your strategies with your sons and daughters. Or maybe that generation hasn’t become adults yet. A ver.

    3. Black men- actually, people period- stop saying that black women are less than x, y, or z. It’s just mean. That should be reason enough.

    4. All women love to be loved. And most women I know would love to be with a man who cares for them, takes care of the kids when her energy’s spent…etc. Fact is: a number of them have negative experiences which shapes the “I can do it by myself” mentality. It’s Darwinism. Organisms that stayed deep in the water never developed lungs to breath air. Most women who lack that “ICDIBM” mentality (that the men on this post seem to hate so much) do so because they grow up in a social climate that doesn’t require that adaptation. Proof this is a likely link: “ICDIBM Syndrome” seems to be gaining momentum among American women of all races as the divorce rates climb higher and higher across the board and many women find themselves having to do it on their own once their marriage ends.

    Long story short: black American men should strive to create an environment that says, “We’re in this together, for real.” Men must recognize their role in producing that. As do women (see #1).

    I just Googled and I can’t find any blogs by Dominican women proclaiming black American men to be superior male beings because they’re so loyal and wonderful (but yet I see a lot of sites written by black American men which touches on so many issues we don’t have time to get into right now), so… there’s room for improvement. We all know the negative statistics (not stereotypes, facts put to numbers) about black American men. So lets put those fingers away.

    ALSO, recognize the difference between cultural issues and socioeconomic issues as well as the unique conditions of blacks in the United States. I grew up in a pretty well-to-do suburb of Chicago and there’s a huuuuge difference in the mentalities of the men and women there (many of which who grew up in two-parent homes to married parents with professional and financial stability as well as supportive extended families and strong ties with their religious organizations which reemphasize the importance of community) and the kids my mother taught at a high school in a more disadvantaged area where the parents were more likely to be uninvolved, single and without support from their co-parent, barely older than the kids, unstable financially and professionally, etc. So this “way” perceived as the “black woman’s way” is not that at all because ALL black women don’t act that way. 90% of the moms I grew up with were like Michelle Obama or Claire Huxtable than this nonsense you guys are throwing on me. And the fathers were awesome, too. Cliffs, Rodney Petes. They weren’t perfect people or marriages, but definitely wouldn’t inspire this hateful nonsense I’ve been reading. The shape of black American society is changing. We’re becoming more knowledgeable and able in the [corrupt] system we’re living in, secure, educated, etc. and it annoys me that everyone seems to be ignoring this shift and continue to stamp us with the negative. That’s like portraying every white person in the States as slave masters who rape black women, hate all black people and force them to work in bad conditions for free. There’s a spectrum. If they’re given some good, then give us some, too! And I don’t mean just here, I’m saying in general!

    Also, note that there is a difference between being poor in a country where the middle and upper classes look like you and when they don’t. That difference is huuuuuuuge! People always neglect to recognize that US is the only colony in which the former slaves weren’t eventually left to govern and begin defining themselves. And turn to just concluding that it’s just a black American thing. I know the DR has its share of race issues, but not sure if they have had such pivotal institutionalized as movements in the US such as the WWII GI Bill conspiracy or the Pigford farmers cases.

    So…everybody chill out and give black American people a break. We’ve got enough white supremacists dogging us out on the Internet (especially since Obama won. We’re REALLY takin over now! hahaha). How about we lift each other UP, instead. That’s more productive.

  • Latin Swaggerific 102

    Alex 2000. It is true that men have been burnt by golddiggers(any race) but women to have been burnt by these macho insensitive men. I have had the chance to see both worlds(in and out of the race) Out of the race has given me a better outcome and allowed me to be independent and at the same time a good women to my man(although he takes total advantage) lol. But its hard to understand the values across other cultures and can make the relationship shaky at times.

  • WldFlwrChld

    This totally shows my “grass is greener”/”turn a blind eye to your new religion” argument. LatinSwagg says many Dominican men are players and that’s why Dominican women date outside of their race (i.e. black American men for this topic). Black American women say many black American men are players. So the Dominican woman does fine with the black American players? You think suddenly these black American men stop being players when they meet Dominican women? Or only non-players go after these women? Of course not! It’s perspective and expectations. The new religion rose-colored glasses.

  • Alex2000

    Latin Swaggerific 102. Finally, a woman who is making sense and talking about the Real Issues on this post…lol. Despite what many people have written on this post to assume that some of us black men are dissing our black American sista’s is way out of line. Mom is a black American woman and I have sisters who show their strength, intelligence and beauty everyday. So to just put “ALL” black women in the same pot is totally ignorant for anyone who think that that is what black men are doing on this post (Or at least I’m speaking for myself). Not all black women act the way myself and many have described and we should all know by now that the MEDIA play a big part in hiding the truth that we have a whole lot of Bill Cosby Hustables, Michelle Obama women who are very successful. intelligent and don’t have the SWAS (Sista with an Attitude Syndrome).
    You can go to the ATL, and I can identify thousands of nice available black American sista’s.
    I just happen to be more attracted to my Dominican Sista’s and it has nothing to do with the exotic itch. I have dated Asian, African, Brazilian and a mixed woman from Nigeria.
    I travel a lot so I have been blessed with the opportunity to see and experience different cultures.
    And from all of my experience with this subject, there is a lot to be said about the Dominican woman and the culture itself. The Dominican people are genuine. They are a very” Proud “people and manage to keep a smile on their face and will not hesitate to greet you no matter how hard times may be. Family is very important and any man that has actually been with a Dominican woman like I have will know very quickly that “She” is actually the anchor and the boss of that house, so for those guys who think dating a Dominican queen is a way to have power over better think again…
    So when you take into account their pride,happy upbeat personality and love of music (I also play in a samba band and love meringue), why is it so wrong for a Black man to desire a Dominican woman if indeed she is the right woman for him? All races have their disagreement among the sexes and I think the media sometimes give the perception that a great rift is among black men and women. If all of that is true, then why do 89% of all black men still marry black women? And the way..50% of ALL races of marriage in America ends in divorce. So both men and women are at fault with shortcomings. I believe that “To each his own” and I just happen to be one black American male who find a Dominican woman compatible for more deeper reasons.
    There is no reason for numbered solutions on getting black men and black women together unless one is racist or a bigot and believe that a person should only date and marry their own race or only people in their own country (Which would be very sad for those Dominican women who have found true love outside of their country). I think the solution is to respect any man or woman who is willing to give constructive criticism and be honest enough to honestly explain his or her preference for the opposite sex without being labeled a trader to his or her race.

  • WldFlwrChld

    @Alex: I agree that people who think everyone should only date within their race/nationality are bigots. And I also think that anyone who got that from my post must be illiterate. Or dyslexic. Try reading again. (I’m Guyanese and 1/2 my maternal family is Afro-Guyanese and the other side Indo-Guyanese so I have no interracial dating issues.) The idea is not that black American women and men should date and marry only each other; the point I’m making is that there should not be such a conflict between groups of people that there are blog posts titled “Do Black Men Prefer Dominican Women Over American Women?” followed by why black American women aren’t as great as someone else. If the title of the post was “Are Dominican Women Awesome?” The answer would be “Yes!” Most women are awesome no matter where they’re from. But once you put that comparison in there- no matter how much you say love your mother- you imply “because black women are bad or not good enough in x,y, or z ways.” Your comment “You can go to the ATL, and I can identify thousands of nice available black American sista’s.” is probably the first positive thing that you’ve said about black American women. But then you continue on with why you prefer Dominican women which messes you up:

    “The Dominican people are genuine. They are a very” Proud “people and manage to keep a smile on their face and will not hesitate to greet you no matter how hard times may be. Family is very important and any man that has actually been with a Dominican woman like I have will know very quickly that ‘She’ is actually the anchor and the boss of that house…”

    Writing this after you state that you prefer Dominican women over black women IMPLIES that black women lack these qualities or aren’t as good. That’s the definition of preference. I know many black women and men who possess these same qualities, so that’s why I don’t get where you’re coming from. The subject of the post is Dominican vs. black American women. I’ve dated many people of different races and while there are aspects of every culture that appeal to me, I never think to write a post starting with, “This is better than with a black American man because….” As I said, my family’s diverse, so I don’t have those hang-ups.

    Are Dominican women awesome? Yes! Are black women awesome? Yes! You don’t see your hang-up because you don’t want to. Your insistence of “Dominican women! Dominican women! Dominican women!” is just proof of your ignorance. Did you marry the first Dominican woman you dated? If so, then you have too small of a sample size to judge and if you didn’t, then not every Dominican woman is oh-so-compatible with you. If you had the correct perspective, your answer would be, “My girlfriend/wife is Dominican, but that has nothing to do with Dominican women being better or worse than black American women. I just met her and she’s awesome. And she happens to be Dominican. And I love her. The end.” That has been my attitude towards my boyfriends, whatever their background.

    “50% of ALL races of marriage in America ends in divorce. So both men and women are at fault with shortcomings” I KNOW! Learn to read, yo! That’s what I said.

    Lists are helpful. It’s not about dating and it’s not just about black American people. There are ways to better relations between blacks and whites in the workplace in the US, Israelis and Palestinians in the Middle East, the haves and have-nots in many of our big cities. Open your mind and see the problem. It’s not your Dominican girlfriend; it’s your mentality that she’s better than a black woman. And it’s not me that said it, look at the top of the page.

  • Alex2000

    @Wildflowerchild…You did a lot of writing but no clear points that make any sense. First of all, the title of this post is:DO BLACK MEN PREFER DOMINICAN WOMEN OVER AMERICAN WOMEN with the key word being PREFER. It’s a thing called Websters and it’s even online nowaday’s so maybe you should check the definition out. PREFER simply means to like better or best. Guys have posted reasons why and if the shoe fits…well you know the rest of the story.
    There are folks like you who apply dysfunctional reasoning that infers that if a black man likes a Dominican sista that he is inferring that black American sista’s are all bad . So with that twisted thinking, it’s easy to attack someone for being honest. candid and direct in why they prefer someone or something(which in this case, it’s Dominican women). So on that note, maybe YOU need to look at the post and read over ALL of my postings and what I have said. If you can read clearly without prejudice, you can see that I have not blatantly dogged out black women…I even posted earlier that black men are to blame for a lot of the relationship problems..but I’ll let you read need to repeat myself .
    Try to follow me on this: I love black women. Many are beautiful and intelligent. Many have way’s and demeanors that I am dissatisfied with. I know many who are good people. But I am human and live in a country free to choose who I date and marry so I PREFER DOMINICAN sista’s and find them compatible.
    So what part of what I am trying to explain that you dont understand? or do you even understand the concept of freedom of choice? And yes..the x,y,z, listing is for folks who are intelligent enough to take constructive criticism..not folks like you who want to assume that it’s an attack on a certain gender.
    For example: No human is I strive to be the best that I can be. But as a black man, we have been labelled by “Some” black women and the Media as : Lazy, Can’t keep a job, untrustful, criminals, drug dealers, purse snatchers, absent fathers, dope smokers, cheap and cheaters to our women. I don’t take that as an assault on black men by black women because I can dispel that as a myth for Many black men…and for those that it does apply to..”If the shoot fits, wear it” and i hope that anyone with those characteristics try to fix their life and be a better black man.
    So any black women that is reading this post and read some of the things that you perceive as pitting American sista’s against Dominican sista’s will know instantly that if the criticism does not apply to her or the crowd of girls that she rolls with, then she’s more than likely smart enough to assume that the black men on this post didn’t just make this $hi* up and that there are some black women who fit the bill…just not her and her crew. So sweetie…no need to defend or create that which is not there . I like some Toyota’s (even though some of them have bad break pedals), but I PREFER to own a Mercedes (even though I also realize they don’t make the perfect car..but damn near close to it ):) because it’s more compatible with my wants and needs. And DON’T TRIP…I Aint comparing no woman to a car ..I’ll leave that to Art…just trying to let you see that no man or women should be afraid to defend their preference no matter what race of partner they prefer, especially when true love and happiness is concerned…Tchau

  • remyman

    I was married to a sister, who like me was born and raised in Harlem. I worked hard doing two jobs for many years to afford a good life for me and my family. This was done a cost. I was rarely home and she worked full time as well. Our quality time was nonexistent. Not long ago I stopped working so hard and began to enjoy the fruits of my labor. By this time she already found someone new. We were together for more than 20 years before she decided to “stick a fork in it”. Without throwing mud, I can say that it was both our faults.
    That being said, I than had the freedom of traveling around the world in search of something new, not because I didn’t like our Black sisters, but I wanted to see what else was out there. In my travels, I found I was receptive to the stunning women in Africa, Brazil and, the Dominican Republic. Anyone of these countries can be an American Black man’s paradise. But the Dominican Republic had its advantages being only a commuter trip away (3 hours from NYC)
    In the Dominican Republic78% of Dominicans are mixed. I found women in all shades, from very light to very dark, but with a different attitude. To sum it up, the Latin side teaches these women to be family oriented and supportive of the men. I was receptive to this new feeling, something that I had always wished for.
    My search for the one for me went deep into the Dominican country side. Although a majority of the people live in poverty, life there is sample and in no way as portentous as life in America. I’ve heard many horror stories from many people I chatted with on the matter and there are some bad apples. My suggestion to brothers looking to hitch up is always protect yourself and your money. If you are from the streets, you will know when someone is trying to play you.
    I believe that “American life” has divided many Black families. There is no one gender fault. (This is a whole other topic.) However, I found a woman there who has provided nothing but joy. I married her. She has helped to make my life simpler and happier.

  • Alex2000

    @Remyman..Brother, I feel you on that one and wish you and your new partner the best of luck. I have been very fortunate to have the opportunity to retire in a year at a middle age and have sold my home and purchased a nice modest home by the beach in a family-centered community in the U.S. My new Dominican queen whom I met 2 years ago was able to come to the U.S. shortly on a tourist visa and she loves the area and is very excited about starting a family. No long work hours for me(although I will start a modest business) and she prefers to stay at home and raise a family.
    I am by no means a rich man and can offer mainly my love, loyalty, respect, open communication and friendship to this special woman in my life. She understands that totally and she even refused to go to dinner one night at a 4-star restaurant while visiting and suggested we order a pizza instead and take a walk along the beach afterward.
    She has never been attracted to what kind of car I drive or what kind of money I spend on her for a date and she prefers gifts made by hand and handwritten letters because she knows it comes from the heart…..just naturally interested and feeling ME for ME. She works in a clothing shop in the DR and knows how to handmake and design womens wear and she dresses like a million bucks and takes care of her weight and appearance at all times unlike a lot of sista’s who will “Let it all Go” as soon as they get the ring on the finger and the marriage license in hand.
    So I look forward to living on the beach, raising kids and not having a time consuming job take away quality time to the family and my Dominican queen.
    The fact that she prefers to stay home and let me handle the business side is a plus also..keeps her from being poisioned by some women that think a job and career is alway’s the key to independence (when in fact, playing in the “Rat Race” of long hour jobs, coming home tired with menstrual cramps and a headache or mad because your boss or co-workers pissed you off can in many times prevent a woman from having a quality relationship and finding true happiness with a man…even worse if she comes with a ready-made family and have to give what little attention and patience she has left to those kids after a long day…therefore many of my American brotha’s get NO LOVE and then sista’s wonder why some brotha’s cheat.
    I do realize that nowaday’s many sista’s have no choice but to work(after irresponsibly having 4 kids with 4 different Baby Daddy’s which she had no intention of marrying in the first place and many won’t even demand court ordered child support..go figure…). But I have found out that there are brotha’s like me who are responsible, loving, caring and will stand by their woman all the way as long as I know she is supportive of me. And the way..I do believe in the same concept that families have when I lived in Germany..being that a wife at home raising kids is REAL WORK requiring some kind of compensation.
    A husband who is not weekly or monthly providing for her financial endeavors (whether it’s money to shop, a weekly spa visit. save for a rainy day, money for education ,travel etc.) is alway’s in order even if she refuses . The partnership is utterly so important (I can change diapers, cook, clean, and realize that even housewifes need a break many times)..but unfortunately, guys like me are not in big demand by the mordern-day American sista..good thing I have alway’s had a Preference for Dominican sista’s anyway…Take care

  • Latin Swaggerific 102

    Alex 2000 and Remyman.You have summed up this whole dispute(as it seems)with genuine words that I believe come from the heart. Just treat your ladies(my hermanas)right. I wish the best for both of you and a long prosperous relationship filled with love.

  • Pleaseant Pam

    I beg to differ with a lot that has been said on this site. My man use to go to the D.R. before we met. Yes the women are beautiful and yes the sex maybe good but how much are the brothers paying for it. He’s told me how it is there. The women may treat you good but for mucho dinero. That”s how it is in the D.R. for our brothers and in Jamaica for our sisters….yes I know because I was one of those sisters. The guys in Jamaica, like the women in the Dominican Republic treat you real good and make you feel real special however you must give up the duckies. Any brother or sister that says they are not paying he is lying. Both me and my man have found each other and have gotten off that ride. He appreciates me and I do the same.

  • Dr. Vieira

    Whoever said that Dominican women are nice to men if you give them “mucho dinero” is completely wrong. Here we go again with the stereotypes. There’s good and bad people everywhere. I’m Dominican and I don’t treat my man right because of money. I got my own money. So please if you are all going to comment on this topic stop stereotyping dominicans, african americans or whoever. Everyone is unique and not everybody in DR is as poor as to sell their soul just for a few bucks.

  • b

    I was reading your comments on the fly guy forum. You stated that you were involved with a Dominican woman. I am African American and my husband is Mexican. They cater to their women too, in a way that American Black males do not. I want to invite you to be a part of a support group on Facebook. It is called American and Hispanic Latino couples. We need more Black males to give us their experiences on being with Dominican Women. Here is the address.

  • b

    I want to invite you to be a part of a support group on Facebook. It is called American and Hispanic Latino couples. We need more Black males to give us their experiences on being with Dominican Women. Here is the address.

  • JWA

    You are so right about following the bible. These bw don’t know how to be women and aren’t taught. They’re taught to be a loud mouthed bitch, and to come against their men, which is why most bw don’t have a man.

  • Bambi

    JWA that is an extremely crude generalization

  • cronos

    wow, new story for you guys. i got this new math class im about to start on fridays. so like im going in for the first day and its a nice little miz of different types of people it and what not. but there is this fat ghetto fabulous chick in the class looking at me as soon as i sit down. in my head im like, “oh boy, here we go again. i wonder whats going to happen in the next couple of weeks?” now this chick looks like she put mad work into how she looks but i can tell she is like one step away from the hood(i know, thats so not nice, judgemental, nasty, or whatever words or phrases you wanna use.)

    so the class starts and the teacher gives us some problems to work on for a few minutes. so after that we start to go over what we did and like she seemed to have a few problems with the questions. so like this south african girl who was sitting in front of her like turns back and helpfully explains the solution to her(all nice like) the chick just gets real defensive like, “oh dont get it twisted, i dont need your help, why you assuming i need help?” just as soon as the girl turned back to help her. she straight up flipped out. im beginning to notice a sad trend,lol.

  • Casey

    I notice this sort of thing all the time in younger BW. I don’t understand it. If anything that you relay about that exchange is true, it seemed completely unnecessary for the sister to react in such a manner.

    I am a Black American woman who is single, never married, no children and have furthered my education to a Master’s degree level. I don’t mind saying that I am not hard to look at either. I have been told that I have a “delightful” personality, so I don’t carry an “attitude.”

    I had taken a 5-year break from dating fand recently tried again. I dated 2 Black American men. I am sorry to say that it is more of the same BS that drove me from dating in the first place, meaning that I have been stood up by both men with no explanation and no further contact with either one of them.

    I cannot help but wonder if these men are somewhere extolling the virtues of Brasilian women or Dominican women while saying how Black American women have bad attitudes.


  • Alex2000

    Guys, I think we all have to understand that “The Revolution will not be telivised”, but only the perception and manipulation by the powers that be to control and make us think things are true.
    This black woman with an attitude stuff all started as we laughed and watched the characters “Florence” on “The Jeffersons”, Aunt Esther on “Sanford and Son”, Shrley on “What’s Happening”, or Willona on “Good Times”…not to include the daytime Soap Opera commercials that alway’s included some black ole lady with an attitude talkin about how clean your floors could be if you use a certain product.
    These women that the black community couldn’t wait to watch on the next episode were bossy, manipulating and inflexible on attitudes and emotions at all times.
    Viewers who were not of color and never associated with people of color often watched these shows and it gave the perception that “ALL” black women were this way and they had no associations (other than having to work on the job with some blacks) with people of color to verify whether or not the BWWAA (Black Woman with an attitude) was a myth, generalization, or just plain false. As both black and white Americans watched these shows on T.V., it became ingrained in everyones psyche that that behavior was in fact typical of a black woman (Even blacks who knew different drank the Cool-Aid).
    Then along comes the epidemic of teenage pregnancies in overwhelming numbers by young black women in the late 80″s and throughout the 90′s. (havent checked the numbers lately but i hope this rate has decreased over the years). Many young black pregnant teens found a cruel world unsympathetic to black pregnant teens. Many Politicians quickly fought to reduce welfare rolls and hand-out programs. As a coping mechanism, the black woman reached out for what she had been seeing all along on T.V. that even had mothers emulating these characters with a hard outter shell and tough.
    Now black men have almost 2 generations of Aunt Esthers, Florence, and Shirley’s to deal with….
    Hopefully, there will be a day when some of these black women realizes that it’s O.K. to be a woman with class, style, and flexibility.
    Western society has taught us that it’s alway’s the man that has to bear the cross and settle for whatever a woman throws his way because it’s a womans job to be happy and a man’s job to do what it takes to make that happen. Well, I have tired of that myth a long time ago and will never apologize for travelling and searching for a woman that actually makes me content and happy..despite the fact that many want to make that look as if it’s a bad thing if a man goes out to seek someone that actually makes them matter the race, creed, citizenship or anything else. It will take more T.V. shows to change our psyche and enlighten us to the fact that there are a lot of great sisters out there but unfortunately I never found any that had not drank the Cool-Aid and they are more materialistic than ever nowaday’s..I hear that black women are making their partners pay out 500 to 1000 dollars for weaves now…glad i don’t have that problem with my Dominican queen who loves the natural and curly look and she even does her own nails:)

  • cronos

    hahaha, i just had this thought after reading your post Casey. maybe im only seeing or perceiving these bad incidents because i might be actually looking for them or have been to influenced by past situations. i might be missing out on all the good and nice BBBEW that are floating around in the city!? maybe, maybe not. sort of an NLP Thing. mental reframing: not putting to much importance on a given event or situation. hahahahahah maybe she was just having a really bad day, but then again that seems to be happenening a hell of a lot with certain types of women( And men).

    i wonder if any of these conversations that are posted on these blogs find there way to the general populous to contemplate in some way? like we can talk about the injustice of this and the unfareness of that until we are all blue in the face but it wont do jack if we dont bring something like this to the fore front in african american relations. damn,hahahahahahaha, its so bad we have to learn how to relate to ourselves hahahaha!?!?

  • Ilene

    Hmm..I have noticed that black men seem to be the guys I attract the most, and I’m Dominican, but to be honest, I am just not attracted to black men at all. And I’ve noticed many black men seem to be disrespectful if I walk by saying inappropriate things, but I never respond. So it may be true that it’s just for physicality many times, and is why I tend to not be attracted to black men for relationship purposes. Friendship wise, I don’t care..I befriend anyone who has similar interests to me. Also, I just prefer to date within my culture even though I am an American born Dominican. I don’t want to lose touch with my roots.

  • cronos

    um the saying inappropriate things to you when you pass by is understandable once you take what they say in context to the situation. from what i learned from the “brothas” is that when a guy(either regular joe smo or d block hakim) decides to approach a girl or women for some reason( gee, i wonder why that could be?) and puts his best foot forward, they get straight up ignored or actually disrespected in some fashion. it has happened to me plenty of times and im actually one of the good ones( educated, moderatly attractive, no prison record, ect). this trend began to create another one when the guys start to realize that no matter how nice or polite a man can be, for some reason the ladies wont respond.

    now i took a little break from chasing after women who wont give me the time of day and did a little of social experimenting and came to realize there are a number of mitigating factors why women wont respond to men courting them on the street in public. a few basic well know reasons are 1) looks, and that falls into 2 deeper categories, physical looks and then appearance. they may have a boy friend, which is plausible to a certain extent( meaning that as last i checked, i think 70 percent of black women are single and the ratio to black men and women is a little uneven). the other reasons that i have concluded is that one, women are more apprehensive of dealing with people in public than anyone else. they are operating from a position of disadvantage because of any number of reason and theories. this makes it harder for them to be open to the advances of strangers. second, they might have problems dealing with people, period. hense the stuck up attitudes and such.this has cause a change in how men of color( black men and spanish) approach women. ive heard it been said that its better to get some type of reaction than no reaction at all. and if your skilled enough, you can turn that anger and bitter attitude and direct it and change it into something positive. stir the emotions, change them, then direct them any way you want. still this isnt an excuse for what happens, only an explaination.

  • Casey

    Well, if you are happy with the person you are with, who can argue? However, I would contend that this issue is way deeper than characters (or caricatures) on television or the wearing or not wearing of hair weaves, extensions, etc. Although I personally do not wear weaves (not knocking anyone who does), I do have a penchant for getting manicures, pedicures and facials. . I have NEVER asked a boyfriend to pay for these services. I have been told that I have a “delightful” personality and I have a good sense of humor, which I like to share. I tend to be low-key, no drama and I like making my man feel good about himself and to feel good to be in my presence. So why am I getting stood up for dates?

  • chivago

    I was born and raised in The Bahamas and I can tell you alot about sleeping with tourist but not for money,my wife and i were friends for six years before we were engage to be married without even sharing a kiss she is an african american woman,with all of the issues that comes with that and extra stress and controll issues that comes with climbing the cooperate ladder as an african american woman.,I myself was raised by a single motheron crack in the hood , with seven other kids , this was no excuse for me or any of my siblings to follow in her footsteps, but to learn from her mistakes .,
    i have dated three dominican ladies and two jamacian ladies and a few african american ladies, and a few others from differant places i came to one conclusion , if the relationship is base on filling the void in our heart with things and other people , we will always craving and feel that emptiness,and feel that loniness my wife and i have know eachother for 16 years and have been married for 10 years ,do we argue fuss and fight hell yeah ,but thats not an excuse for me to go sleep with anyone because I may have gotten my feelings or my manhood hurt , I,m a black man I,m 6’7″ I,m educated and I DON,T sleep around.

  • Kevin

    I’m sorry Black Women but most of you are abrasive.I met my Dominican wife in January 2008 while I was in the Dominican Republic for my friends wedding.He was marrying his Dominican Lady of 3 years.We were married a year later and guess what?No problems out of her.Dominican women work with you and not against you.She and most Dominicanas just want a decent man that cares for them and doesn’t constantly cheat.We will be living in Puerto Plata in less than a year when I retire.She has no problem cooking and cleaning and chilling instead of illing.Black Women are so lazy in this country.I gave up on them about 8 years ago and I’m glad.These Napzillas wonder why 70% of them are single.

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  • cronos

    just had a good conversation with some strangers i see off and on and they pretty much tell a similar story to what we are discussing now. this one guys basically spelled it out by saying it has something to do with upbringing, the whole independent attitude flaunted by women now a days, and the lust for power. since women(black) dont need men anymore as apposed to other cultures who try to build relationships around wanting a family, todays black women will go after whatever only to see what she can get out of it.


    BLACK MALE AND FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS: It seems that as a race and a culture, what we do is stereotype one another. We feel that to be black we gotta be like THE ATHELET, THE ENTERTAINER ETC. Black men like ANY MAN has made mistakes that is true. BLACK WOMEN AS A WHOLE NEVER WANT TO TAKE RESPONSIBLITY FOR THEIR MISTAKES and this gets OLD! MANY BLACK WOMEN HAVE THROWN AWAY DECENT MEN BECAUSE HE WASN’T “NIGGA” ENOUGH! Being a nigga is what messed us up. We are human beings not that “UGLY WORD”. COLOR ISSUES. Many black women of darker hue, have been approached by black decent black men. BUT YOU PROBBABLY TURNED HIM DOWN BECAUSE HE WASN’T NIGGERISH ENOUGH. How many black women have baby after baby by different men? WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THAT? AN EDUCATED BLACK MAN IS CONSIDERED WHAT? BOUGIE AND WEAK. NOT EVERYMAN IS DUNKING A BALL .





  • cronos

    oh i agree with you one hundred percent on the whole stop living in the whole 1952 era of male female relationships. like that hole i gotta pay for all your (not you) luxuries and basic needs, the pandering and domestication( the opening of doors, the pulling out of seats) the basic training of the black male(as well as non-black) to be a good little servant to the women has to stop.

  • cronos

    um you gotta understand that when american men( black and non-black) “step” to american women, we get berated, dissed, shot down, ridiculed, and just straight out embarrased. men coming from europe have it a bit easy because of 2 things. 1) the exotic factor which if we ourselves left the country we would experience it too. 2) they have experience dealing with women who are more receptive to their advances because of how they were raised and cultural upbringing. more or less i would not have a problem getting shot down constantly except for the fact that the manner in which men get rejected in our subculture is just harsh and cruel. i mean just take a look at the news during the past 4 years and you will see a trend of men commiting suicide or going on a shooting spree because they were viciously turned down by some chick who thought her shit smelled like roses or something. its pretty simple to contemplate if you look at the post topic. black men and dominican women being able to get alone because the dominican women from what ive learned from these post and my own experiences are a bit more open to advances and not as “stuck-up” or hardboiled as black women. you see, american man, non american women.

  • cronos

    that hunter gather instinct your talking about is called Machismo, a socialogical term. if you know anything about spanish culture, you would realized that it has alot to do about being alive, bright, exciting, and full of life. the machismo persona is a sexual representation of that mentality as the spanish male relates to women. this hunter gatherer instinct your mentioning i believe your using out of context to what it really means, which is to hunt game(animals), and gather food to ultimately provide for his or her family.
    you have to realize that spanish men are a bit more aggressive(actually not more aggressive but they go about it differently) then black men is because like i said in other post, their advances are more accepted by their own women. were as black men have evolved to the point were they dont want to bother with you because of how they might percieve you to be, the fear of rejection and the degrees of embarrassment they might feel, and the roles by which we as men have to follow in order to just be with you( being the provider, following the social mores associated with interacting with women, ect) yes, i am generalizing but mathematically speaking, if 70% percent of african american women are single or unmarried and the male population is what lets say for every 10 women you have 7 available men, thats crazy math. and take into consideration that out of those 7 men 2 are in jail and 2( or 1 maybe) are gay, what do you have? 3 men for every 10 women avialable on the market.
    so out of that group of 3, you alienate 1 of those men who is trying to “step” to you, what do you expect? of course the men are gonna go else were to get their rocks. and its probably that one brother who has a future or who has great potential but you turned him down because he aint this or that or what not. everytime you go to a club or go out with your friends(girls night out) and you get “stepped” to or hollard at, think about this post. those men were probably available (atleast sexually) and you just walked away because you either were to stuck up to answere back in kind or were to afraid to aswere back because a) you have this redicules fantasy that men have to speak in this certain magical tone to break your defences, enrapture you, and hynotize you into believing he is the one for you, and b) most of you women are so stupid to beleive that this perfect man( denzel looks, obama status, will smith money) will somehow take his rich and all powerful as to the same broke as bar, club, or lounge, your poor ass is going to. but hey, thats the breakdown to me.

  • Tinzley

    “Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.” (Lois Wyse)
    So all those men in the article and those who left one-sided comments, owe me an apology for being too weak to handle a strong woman with goals.Don’t worry, I forgive you. “Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.” (Unknown) So run on to where you feel you can do what you want when you want. Have fun, since life is just one big game to you. I don’t think even Dominican women will tolerate you too long either once she realizes what many of you are truly about. ( Food, sex, and video games!!) For those gentlemen who work for a living, play games occasionally, get great affection and loving and enjoy a hot meal from a woman who sees your value and you her’s, thank you and this comment is not intended for you, because you understand that you have to earn a woman’s respect and trust, then there is nothing she won’t do for you.(MOST OF US)

    I read the article with the opinions from the guys who compared woman to woman. I believe all people have a competitive nature of some sort. I do not agree that we as black women try to compete with men, I do believe that many of us are very accomplished and very confident to the point where; we don’t allow meritocracy in our lives at all. Why should I apologize for that? I believe many men, ( I won’t say all ) have become too lazy to work towards being deserving of a strong, confident, hardworking woman who has values that she won’t break. Many men are very self absorbed and competitive themselves by nature. It’s either their way, or you’re considered some nagging woman with issues or baggage. Don’t get me wrong, many women do have baggage they haven’t addressed but so do many men. There is room for growth in lots of people. Men love to eat, screw, play video games and if he’s not doing much else and get’s called out on it, sure he’s going to bounce. Why would he want to be reminded of the fact that you’re no dummy? It’s a sad day when a man starts looking for ways to get something for nothing, and that’s all this is; an excuse to not have to listen to the thoughts and views of a woman; but to just have the freedom to hop in bed and do what you won’t with no real connection at all.
    “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself.” Galileo Galilei
    No matter how hard a woman tries, she will never be able to master the craft of getting a man to truly understand the concept behind being a good, strong, loyal, patient and loving man. He has to decide that’s who “HE” wants to be. Until then, he’ll run around playing what ever game he feels he can win. If you start telling him what the rules are, sorry he’s gone. He prefers a game he can win, not one which requires effort and has rules.

  • MaxDanger

    Hi Ree,
    I am commenting based solely on your post:
    You say the black man “want[s] the qualities of a wife WITHOUT the commitment”. This says to me that in your dating scenario you opened your self up to at least two men without evaluating their intentions. i say two because you would need at least this many to make somewhat valid your assertions. These relationships would have to had lasted at least 9 months to a year… again to make valid your points.
    Now you say that you have been “recently…dating outside the race”. You claim that the experience is “different”. Well, I’m mystified because you seem to be in the same place… relationship-wise. Albeit you say, the white men treat you better, but by your post you are still single and unattached with no commitment from them.
    Could it be that they are truly nice, but see those untoward “black woman” personality traits that turn so many black men (do-right black men) away. Is this why you still sport a nude ring finger? Just because Oprah says you should date outside does not mean you can do it successfully.
    ‘nuf Said 4 Now!

  • cronos

    first, i would have to complement you on your usage of quotes. very well said(if not truly said at all,lol)
    second, im sorry but coming from a very masoganistic and narcistic point of view, of course a women would create or come up with such a quote to place herself and others of her ilk on a pedastal of some sort. yes, of course men are weak, what dimension are you from? you mean emotionally weak? um we dont break down at work and cry like children to get our way when something goes wrong, or open up like little sissies to everyone and spout our problems to every tom dick and harry who will listen to us complain and moan. give or take the worst of us and the best of us from both our world and you’ll actually see who is weaker in whatever respects you wanna bring up.
    next, its always trying to force the guy to be the way you want him to be instead of excepting him the way he is. we as men except you the way you are, nagging and all, just so we can get between the thighs. granted that its not the most noble of intentions but it shows how simple we are as creatures. give us what we need and you get what you want. simple damn bloody equation. why not try playing those video games with that guy and see why he finds it so fun to play? when you take note of a basic relationship between a couple, do you hear anything about the guy saying ” i wish you would stop playing video games!’ or ” get a job u damn bum!” ? no you dont because we give you room to do you and we play that role of caretaker and provider. so if your this independent women type who is so successful and all that, why dont you pull a ‘BROTHA” up to your level. help him get that job, finish his college education, start that business, ect. since you got education, the good paying job, and in some cases your own business, become that provider and foundation of the house hold and carry a brother until he is able to walk and be on the same level with you.
    everytime i bring these issues up, no body answeres. its just the same thing over and over again. the man dont work, smokes weed, eats and sleeps all day. but thats what women want to do which is why they look out for and hunt for men who are educated, have good jobs, and are rich. yet you dont want to give up those social “perks” and cultural rules of ettiqute we readily permit you to have. key word, ‘PERMIT” by social rules and also laws put into place by men to protect you from the worst of us. everything you do and everything you are is protected by a thin veil of illusion that women keep forgetting can be taken away at anytime because truth be told, women are the weaker sex. you can quote any statistic or demographic you want on the subject by you exist in the state your in because men allow it. go to some third world country or a few of those arabic countries were the women cant wear certain types of clothing or must wear clothing that makes them in some cases not even human and tell me men have to do this and that to accommadate you. or go to some west african countries were women are bloody raped pretty much every single day and tell me its not fare that men can do this and that. this issue is far more deeper than most people will ever realize but are to ethically and philosophically immature to face such and issue.

  • Dane Cunningham

    All who have a biblical world view will acknowledge that all people are descendants from Adam and after the flood Noah, Shem, Ham and Japheth. In the big scheme of things we are all a part of the same race which is the human race. In contemporary times what divide the descendants of Adam are race, religion, culture and socio-economic status and personal values. People within the same group often times connect with one another. People can be of different races but connect because they have the same personal values ECT.
    Specifically as it relates to Domnicanas all are not prostitutes. To say that all Dominicanas are prostitutes is to say that all African American women are “Gold Diggers” that simply is not true. They are women just like other women born into a the Latin American culture that in general has a different set of values as it relates to relationships than the U.S. This amongst many other factors makes Dominicanas attractive to some Afro American men.
    Finally the Dominican Republic is on the island of Hispaniola. Hispaniola was the first port of call for Christopher Columbus when he discovered the new world. After Christopher Columbus and his crew exploited the native Tiano Indians killing them through disease and war Columbus and his crew started importing African slaves to the island. Hispaniola subsequently became the portal of the slave trade to the new world. My point is that slavery existed on the island of Hispaniola more than 100 years before it came to the U.S. Therefore most Dominicanos are descendants of the West African slave trade just like Afro Americans. As a matter of fact it would be accurate to refer to most Dominicanos as Afro Latinos. With that said perhaps we have more in common with the people of the Dominican Republic than we realize…I’m just sayin…

  • Alex2000

    @ Dane…Great observation when looking at the past history of Dominican history. Unfortunately, many Dominicans are unaware of the reality that occurred due to past leaders who went to great efforts to erase all African affiliation and base the pecking order they practiced over the years which has alway’s been based on the color of your skin. You can have brothers of different skin color, but the lighter skinned brother closer to being white will have more opportunity to go to a better school or get employment…kind of like the way it used to be in the U.S. before we became more enlightened.
    Truth is…these are our sisters and brothers who just happen to live about a 3plus hour plane ride from Miami Florida. American sista’s could learn a lot from Dominican sista’s and trust me…economics is the ONLY reason for the perception that Dominican women are easy or prostitutes.
    These women are smart, beautiful, full of life and ambitious just like any other woman.
    From personal experience, I find that these women “embrace” fully the satisfaction of being a woman and all the wonderful attributes inherent in that role. They come from the islands close to the sea whereby anyone with experience living in such an area, there will alway’s be a peaceful, calm, “No Drama” vibe in a persons personality. This makes for clear concentration of providing and focusing on true love of your man and prioritizing your man, children, and family first before riches, cars, and material things.
    My friends who date American sista’s now tell me it’s to the point whereby these sista’s want the house, car, career, and if they could..they would even walk around with a strap-on all day just to feel manly..basically almost to the point to where there is no room for a brotha to even prove that he can be the right man for them..really sad.

  • Adriii


  • Dane Cunningham

    All who have a biblical world view will acknowledge that all people are descendants from Adam and after the flood Noah, Shem, Ham and Japheth. In the big scheme of things we are all a part of the same race which is the human race. In contemporary times what divide the descendants of Adam are race, religion, culture and socio-economic status and personal values. People within the same group often times connect with one another. People can be of different races but connect because they have the same personal values ECT.
    Specifically as it relates to Domnicanas all are not prostitutes. To say that all Dominicanas are prostitutes is to say that all African American women are “Gold Diggers” that simply is not true. They are women just like other women born into a the Latin American culture that in general has a different set of values as it relates to relationships than the U.S. This amongst many other factors makes Dominicanas attractive to some Afro American men.
    Finally the Dominican Republic is on the island of Hispaniola. Hispaniola was the first port of call for Christopher Columbus when he discovered the new world. After Christopher Columbus and his crew exploited the native Tiano Indians killing them through disease and war Columbus and his crew started importing African slaves to the island. Hispaniola subsequently became the portal of the slave trade to the new world. My point is that slavery existed on the island of Hispaniola more than 100 years before it came to the U.S. Therefore most Dominicanos are descendants of the West African slave trade just like Afro Americans. As a matter of fact it would be accurate to refer to most Dominicanos as Afro Latinos. With that said perhaps we have more in common with the people of the Dominican Republic than we realize…I’m just sayin…

  • cronos

    um i know this is probably for another discussion but i believe if we all did decend from adam then who were those other tribes of people that cain ran into when he was caste away from his family? please respectfully keep biblical examples out of this debate( or atleast the ones that dont make any sense.)

  • Dane Cunningham

    Mr. Cronos, I apologize if I offended you with the biblical reference. Unfortunately you missed the point; which was that all humans have in common the link to the first man whatever you want to call him. The thought continued with the introduction of slavery to the island of Hispanola which is now the Dominican Republic. Approximately 150 years later African slaves were introduced to the U.S. Both groups of slaves intergrated with their European slave masters producing a varity of skin colors from deep chocolate to vanilla. This is one of the reasons that Dominicans have features that are similar to Afro Americans. My point was that Afro Americans and a significant number of Dominicans have fundamentaly the same geneology as Afro Americans. In essence figurativley speaking we are cousins. The rest of the relevance to the conversation should be obvious…

  • cronos

    Mr. Cunningham, no offense taken. your repose’ was a much better response.

  • Dane Cunningham

    Gracias, hay no problema.

  • tinkerbell511

    Wow! I guess you just have to say be careful out theyr’e boys. You do know you are playing with fire i hope. Hiv, aids and all kinds of diseases run rampid out there. This i know from a first hand source. Of course, money speaks loudly so she may not be so willing to give you her real personal info. You could argue here that the same thing could happen to you here, but when it’s alll said and done we really do have more resources available. A pretty face, and a servant for a week is not really worth a lifetime of pain. I’m speaking to you youmg gents, and not so young gents with wives and girlfriends and families to consider or to anyone who values their lives more. Think first there are many young black women who know how to take care of her man, clean house, take care of their families, go to work and pay her bills without having to spread her legs to do so. So if that’s all its about than by all means do what you have to because spreading your legs does not take much brain power and hey if that’s all you want then my young sisters may not be what your looking for anyhow! And please respect a sister when you decide you need a person on your level and get yourselves checked out before you begin a relationship back here with the sisters.

  • Mariela

    @ tinkerbell511…..How dare you disrespect my people like that? why are you saying Dominican people have aids and other STD’s as if African Americans and many other people around the world don’t? Give your God Damn opinion without insulting and disrespecting others and stick to the point. If a black guy wants to be with a dominican woman for whatever reason then so be it…..we are free to do whatever we want to do……IDIOTA

  • Dane Cunningham

    Ms Tinkerbell511 your post implies that most Dominicanas are promiscuous therefore vulnerable to HIV. I believe the stats will illustrate there is more HIV in the US per capita. More importantly a person could conclude after reading your post that the motivation for traveling to the DR is easy sex. True sex is available in the DR however DR is also a country that is predominatley Roman Cathlolic with many who take their faith seriously. To presume Dominicanas are promiscuous is like presuming that Afro American men are thugs. There is a President in the US that prooves that wrong just like there are many Dominicanas that walk in virtue and faith.

  • Tabita

    I’m a Dominican woman who is dating a black man. First, I have a job, I own a house, and I love my black man. Second, I think black women should have more sex with their men. Black women when you talk to your men please do the sweet talking, and make love to them, and I promise they wont go my country. One more thing not all dominican women are light skin with good hair, and for all those haters I’m not living my black man sex is amazing.

  • Glenn Foster

    Do you think black people smell like fermented purple onions?

  • Blackheaven princess

    I am a young African-American woman living in the southern states of America and I have been reading over and over all this jacked up hype about my feminine kind not being spontaneous enough to be simply be in love with my black male counterparts, because my characteristic and personality is suppose to be full of unruly negativity. Let me explain the true dynamics of a Black woman. I was raised up by women who taught me and my females cousins how to be a upstanding hospitable southern woman and support your man and family no matter what. Now eventually I came up in the age of gold diggers, hoes and disrespectful men and I fell prey to the dilemma of a jacked lifestyle. Black men in a lot of ways have to take the fault for the lifestyle we committed ourselves too. In the end we were left with dysfunctional feelings and emotions. Now living in a new millennium love in the hood seems not to exist anymore. But in my heart I don’t believe in the hype because God is my tower, power and strength. My dream in the act of love is a strong and supported black man in my life, who will cherished everything about me, because i will cherished everything about him. even with my advanced attitude i believe in being submissive, even with my control issues my counter part will have the upper hand in our affairs. I love too cook and clean because that’s the type of woman I was raised to be and that’s what I enjoy doing and at the same time i will talk shit because no matter who you are, you will not do me any wrong. But i will still cherished the love of my life, because love lives inside of me and will continue until the breath leaves my body. So yes as a black woman I don’t believe in all this negativity about black men disinterest in us because lack of womanhood and attitudes because there are plenty of black men who love and adore black women to the fullest. So to all those negative black men who are just as negative as the black women they claim to associate them selves with. Learn from a real black men what true love is , because it’s seems to me you are paying your top dollar for the price of love.

  • Dane Cunningham

    Black Haven Princess as an Afro American man I want you to know that I appreciate not only your comments but your parents who instilled a set a values in you that you have carried into your adulthood. I’d like to share a different perspective on this topic. The Dominican Republic is only one of several Latin American countries that share the same culture and value system. I have traveled to 10 different Latin American countries including the Dominican Republic and I have discovered that family and relationship roles are different in Latin American (more traditional with male headship) as opposed to the United States. Because the culture is different ,it is more appealing to some men who desire a more traditional type relationship.
    In my travels I have discovered that the Dominican Republic nor any other country that I have been to in Latin America is a utopia because at the end of the day people are people and nobody is perfect. There are gold diggers in Latin American just like there are in the United States. There are a myriad of reasons for the comments that have been made. In addition there are a myriad of motivations for a man taking that flight south from Miami, but I suspect one of the reasons for the attraction to the Dominican Republic is the cultural difference with the United States.
    Once again know that I truely appreciate your heart and I am confident that in due time you will recieve the best!

  • Not Surprised

    After reading this blog post and all of the comments it never ceases to amaze me at how black men constantly put women of other races up on a pedestal. It never ceases to amaze at how if a black woman does one thing it is seen as an extremely bad thing, but if a woman of another race does it is a wonderful thing. I know a lot of black women that are trying to better themselves and their lives by going to school, traveling, and learning about other cultures and on a consistent basis they are immediately labeled “euro-centric” and “materialistic” by black man they meet. But yet when their Latina, White, or Asian girlfriends do the same thing, they are “so intelligent and smart” or “exploring the world around them”. This post and its comments have assured me that as a black woman I should continue to swear off dating or even marrying black men.

  • Dane Cunningham

    Ms. Not Surprised I hear the frustration in your post and I can empathize. I respect your decision to abandon Afro American men just like I respect Afro American men’s right to abandon Afro American women however; I’d like to share a thought that might make sense. Police Racial Profiling in essence is discrimination based on superficial facts such as clothing, demeanor and the perceived race of an individual. The victim of racial profiling is judged on a predetermined set of factors and often times subjected to unfair treatment. My point is to “swear off” an entire group of people is in essence a form of racial profiling that does not consider the differences within that group of people. All Afro American Men are not “one way” any more than all Afro American women are “one way.” So for any of us to swear off everyone in an entire group is to possibly close the door to Fort Knox without first seeing if it’s open…

  • Not Surprised

    The thing with racial profiling Dane is that that is entirely based on superficial facts as you said. What I said comes from exactly the same thing that black men say about the bad aspects of black women, that it all comes from experience. And many of my experiences have been up close and personal as well as so far away it seemed like wasn’t in the room. Just this past month I’ve had the interesting experience of hearing a black man (in my favorite restaurant no less) bad mouth American black women to the owner of the restaurant who was an African black woman. And while I was sitting less than 3 feet from him. And that was just one of many. But seriously, you want to call what I’m doing profiling when sure enough plenty of black men do it black women. Just go back and read all of the comments on this board.

  • Not Surprised

    Even read the post!

  • Dane Cunningham

    Ms. Not Surprised I am sorry that you have had the negative experiences that you have had with Afro American men. I am a police Lieutenant at a major police department in metro Atlanta. Since I work in a predominately Afro American community most of the perpetrators and victims of crime I see are Afro American. It is dispicable how we treat one another, conversley there are also some very hospitable, kind and virtuous people in the same community. When some European American officers deal with some Afro Americans in my community they say “them damn %&*#!” when I deal with the same people because I am more objective I try to seperate our community into individuals and not judge the enitire group by the actions of a few. and are Democratic and Republican web sites that have blogs. If you read the blogs you will discover that there are Democrats that have no use for President Obama and some Republicans that have no use for President Bush. Likewise the inverse is true in each of the blogs. My point is that the views posted in this blog do not represent the views of all Afro American men any more than the views posted on and represent the views of all Democrats and Republicans.
    Once again I respect your desire to “swear off” me and other Afro American men because that is your perogative, I simply wanted to share a different point of view.

  • Not Surprised

    Dane, I totally understand where you are coming from, no doubt about that. Even I know that no two things are created the same, however, I do find that because of the internet and increased globalization that beliefs such as the original poster’s are becoming more and more common.

  • Dane Cunningham

    Please allow me to change lanes for a minute. The Dominican Republic has its pros and cons like any other third world country but I encourage you to consider visiting if you haven’t already. True there is crime in the urban areas and it can get hot as &*^%! But there is another side I would like to share. The Dominican Republic shares the Caribbean island of Hispaniola with Haiti. It is reported that the capitol Santo Domingo was Christopher Columbus first port in his discovery of the new world. The capitol is not only the seat of culture and history but it was where the first African slaves landed in the new world over 150 years before they came to the United States. You will see many Dominicans who look like Afro Americans because we share the same legacy of slavery. Once you leave the capitol you can travel north to Santiago a major industrial city much like Pittsburg PA. The people can be cold and distant just like any other major metropolitan area, but once they get to know you will be delighted by their hospitality. If you continue north you will see chickens and cows crossing the road on a regular basis, they will look at you as if to say “you are on my highway!” The landscape includes rows of brown sugar cane and tobacco fields that appear to be waving at you in the soft Dominican breeze. As you continue through the country side you will see rolling green hills that smile when they touch the powder blue ski and the soft gray clouds. The drive from the south coast to the north coast is less than 3 hours and once you arrive in Puerto Plata or Cabarete you can walk on beaches where the sand is like white powdered sugar and the water is a crystal green – blue like Windex.
    I am here to tell you that the Dominican Republic is more than just a land where men find women; it is a multi dimensional country that is thick with culture and rife in history and diversity. Please consider visiting the Dominican Republic on one of your upcoming vacations, you may return to the United States saying “Me encanta La Republica Dominicana!”

  • Evenwhenilie

    …….I think there was a lot of truth in what the men in D.R had to say……. But, it’s wrong to generalize, we grossly mis-diagnose the problem that way. It shouldn’t matter one way or the other, because most people start off In a relationship for all the wrong reasons anyway…. Maybe it grows into something and sometimes it doesn’t.

  • Dave

    Where excatly are your options so good?

  • Not Surprised

    @ Dane

    Although traveling often times open ones eyes, I don’t think that that solves the problem. Taking a flight to Thailand doesn’t cancel out the fact that there are brothels there that cater to foreign men. A trip doesn’t erase that fact.

  • Dane Cunningham

    People are going to make decisions that they feel are in their best interest. I personally am reluctant to judge an entire group of people based on the actions of a few. Yes, Thailand has brothels but Thailand also has one of the most beautiful rain forests on earth. There is a plethora of wildlife and flora that many will only see on National Geographic. Yes, Las Vegas has brothels but “The Strip” is a beautiful sight to behold at night and there is enjoyment to be had by the entire family; if you’re really ambitious a drive to the Grand Canyon will net a sight that is nothing less than spectacular. Yes, the Dominican Republic has brothels but it is one of the most beautiful and culturally diverse islands in the Caribbean.
    Some people go to Thailand for the rain forest others go for…some people go to Las Vegas for gambling some go for…some people go to the Dominican Republic to lay on the beach and some people go for…
    My purpose in sharing the beauty of the Dominican Republic was to illustrate that the country has more to offer than women. I have found when we step outside the frame we can see a bigger picture.

  • Not Surprised

    Yeah. Sure…

  • dominican barbie

    as a dominican woman myself i must say that women are women, but living here in the states most of the african american women that i have encountered have a damn attitude problem. and even if dominican republic is a third world country the women there try their hardest to get an education. and yes at an early age we are thought to be great mothers wives but also women. i love my boyfriend and i would do anything for him he always tell me”your the best gf ever” i dont feel that i am cuz i love him so much and just wanna make him happy. and yes there is prostitution in my country but tell me what country doesnt? sex is everywhere theres no arguing on that

  • Doug

    The last time I checked the majority of Dominican women were black. Having visited that country I can attest to their allure and ultra femininity. Dominicans are black just of a different culture. they’re just as black as American blacks African blacks Jamaican blacks, etc. the only difference is cultural. I love my Dominican women and I love African American women in the end its all about preferences. Black american women have a lot of work to do to improve their image but so does everyone else. Can’t wait to head back to the DR A Black Mans paradise!!! See you down threre.

  • Angel martinez

    The real question here is a matter of “culture” and not of “color.” Obviously the majority of the population in the D.R. is mulatto or black. So making a comparison based on skin color isn’t probably what you were intending to do. So as a cultural comparison, let me first let you know that my credentials as a specialist of Hispanic Culture of the Caribbean has given me much greater insight into the topic.
    Difference between Black women of the states and Dominican women is quite frankly based on economic need, and cultural influence.
    Black women in the United States are much better off than those women in the Dominican Republic, and they have a sense of self-respect which they demand from their counterparts.
    Women in the Dominican Republic, are under social pressures of a machista culture, one of which usually requires a women to work outside of the home as well as in the home, while her husband spend the day at the colmado drinking and socializing. Of course they are going to jump at the chance to be with a man who pays for anything, not to mention an american who usually pays for everything.
    Think of it this way: You live in the states, have your regular routine, a stable but not lavish life. Now imagine women from England flock to the United States in look for a man, whom they want to hang out with for a few days/weeks/etc., she pays for you to drink crystal, party on yachts, eat lavish dinners, buys you clothes, hands you a bit of cash for other luxuries you are normally not accustomed to. Would you possibly treat this women WAY better than you normally would any other women of the same economic status as you? Of course! Does that mean, however, that your intentions are completely honest? More than likely not.
    This is the case in the Dominican Republic. Google “sanky panky” once, and check out the reputation. Also take a gander at the youtube video of sex tourism, and the DR. It’s an amazing documentary on Sanky Panky’s and how they work. Although it shows mainly men as sankys there is no lack of women sanky pankys to be found in the DR either. They hang out around tourist areas, specifically in search of that paycheck.
    Now you may say, “but I don’t give my Dominican woman any money.” Well, it’s just the beginning. Eventually she will have a “sick relative” and need extra cash. She may “lose her phone” and need you to get her a new one, so you can “be in constant contact.” Etc. It’s all part of the game. A search for a sugar daddy, especially one that is in another country, pays for vacations when he comes to visit, or perhaps sends gifts and money while he is away, and she can live her normal life with her husband and children you know nothing about.
    The cultural influence makes for a dog eat dog view point, in which lies and deceit are not looked down upon, but rather an excellent form of getting what you want/need for survival.
    There may be black American women, looking for a paycheck, as there are women as such in all parts of the world. However, the likelihood is extremely less than that of Dominican women. If anything, a woman stating her needs and not catering to your ever desire lets you know she is sincere, and not just looking for a paycheck.
    The probability of a Dominican woman dating you for money or goods, is about 99%, especially if you met her in a touristy area, or she is from a low economic class.
    Any sincere Dominican woman wouldn’t date a tourist for only a few weeks/days, because she would know you would go back home, and the communication would be lost.
    If you want to meet a sincere Dominican woman, select one from a higher economic class and meet her under other circumstances, such as in a work setting or through friends. You will see that she will demand the exact same respect any other black American woman does, and with obvious reason.

  • Frank Archie

    Dominican women are the most beautiful women in the world and their more compatible with the black man than the American black women.

  • Casey

    I find this whole discussion bordering on the ridiculous. I think there are a lot of excuses about why one prefers what one prefers. If you prefer a Brazilian or Dominican man or woman. Hey, go for it. No skin off my nose. But why is it necessary to denigrate an entire sector of the population to justify your choice?

  • Hailekal

    This whole topic is totally CRAZY…. Who cares if other black men love women from different cultures…i mean if anyone has traveled to any developing countries (these people believe the USA has freaking roads paved of gold )… HELL I would be on the first thing smoking AMERICA bound…….

    We got WAY BIGGER Fish 2 fry…. Let’s have this much enthusiasm & debate about our EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM being shot 2 hell…..

  • Casey

    I agree. I am an African-American woman who has visited the Dominican Republic several times. It is a beautiful country, rich in history and culture. I was often mistaken for Dominican during my travels in the D.R. as I have a similar look and speak a litte Spanish.

    But I would not date anyone from there.

    There are male and female “sanky-pankys who play on tourists’ emotions. The woman (or man) who is telling you that you are their true love and one and only may well be telling any number of others the same thing. It is quite possible that a Dominican woman (or man) is communicating with someone from New York, Chicago, Hamburg, Liverpool and Montreal. And of course, they don’t know about each other. How could they?

    Also, if each of these people are sending money and gifts, the Dominican is making out like a fat rat. And who would be the wiser? They only way the Dominican can possibly be busted is if two or more paramours show up at the same time for their visit to the D.R. and to see their “love.”

    I’m not judging anyone, but I would say be very careful, and please, please, please use condoms every time you have sex.

  • Garrick

    I have dated black american women all my life or american women in general I meet a dominican women a year ago in started dating her I couldn’t disagree with you at all I like her way more than any american women I haved ever dated they respect you in love you better in I am going to marry her because she is what I allways looked for in women it is to bad I couldn’t find it in american sister!!!

  • Juan

    I just want to say I live in the US, my mother is from Spain (White as mostly are) and my father is from the Carribean Island of Barbados. I am what is considered light skinned (for the afro americans) here

    One thing I have to say…Americans are some of the most ignorant people on earth (and you are called the superpower..give me a break) America still uses the racist view of the one drop rule (both blacks and whites).In other countries especially in Latin America, they aknowledge all your cultures in your blood, someone like Will Smith and Beyonce would not be considered Black, because their not. Somebody like Wesley Snipes is Black.You people are so damn ignorant, both blacks and whites here. And about American women…White women are probarly the easiest women on earth, every man I know from other countries know this and just use these dirty,man-hating,wanna be men sluts….Geez they will probarly will do animals if they had to.And Black women from this country are not real women…they wanna be men…rights this right that.Women are supposed to stay home clean, take care of the home and kids and men work.

    The American culture is pathetic and sad, I am looking to move to the Dominican Republic because I am so sick of the mindset here.

  • Garrick

    I agree with you I meet a dominican women a year ago that was the best thing I ever meet she showed me so much love and respect something american sisters dont do that much in she is very beautiful in a hardworking women just as me a harding working man she is a more educated then me with a masters but she dont look down on me like most american sisters would because I only have only a associates degree americans in dont want to work with them their man like american sisters I know this for a fact becuase all I have ever dated was black american sisters but my dominican sister the only thing she want is love in respect she such a beautiful women in a women that got her man back no matter what believe that.

  • Andrea

    I just found this site by accident. So… Black men have been leaving America just to fuck women in D.R.? This isn’t surprising to me at all. A lot of Black men usually deal with problems by running away from them. As a black woman, I personally could careless about working, competing with men and being the head of household. Our children REALLY need for us women to be in the home.

    Shit, the television has been raising our black children. Teachers have been raising our black children. Our children have been eating Ramen Noodles and Hamburger Helper with a tall glass of grape drink. They have been eating Cocoa Puffs for breakfast and Pop Tarts as a snack. I absolutely hate that. I would rather be a house wife and take care of my man and my family ANY DAY. But a lot of black men CAN NOT support their families financially, which is why black women are doing it all because black women (those who care) TRY to give their children better. Do you black men think we really want to do all the work and act like men!?! Hell no. I wanna cook a hot dinner for my man, take a hot bath and have the pussy ready when he gets home or before he goes the work.. or what fuckin ever! Imagine if the pressure of hard work was taken off of black women. Imagine if providing for our families financially wasn’t our sole responsibility? We’d have more time to focus on ourselves and be fuckin happy and feminine.. the way women should be. But too many generations have gone by with homes devoid of black men being head of household. Too many black men running away from the problem. It’s not our fault. Blame it on the Jews who powered the Women’s Liberation Movement. Blame it on the mothafuckas that blocked black men out of large industry segments in the employment game. Blame it on corporate America… the very establishments that makes money by keeping the American population divided by young-old, rich-poor, christian-muslim, fat-skinny, dark-light, straight hair- nappy hair… etc

    The fact that black men are always comparing black women to women of other races is proof that they still love black women, so stop acting like you don’t and stop running from responsibility. The Black Million Man March was about black men apologizing for being abandoning fathers, and for abandoning the community. What happen to the apology? What happen to that promise? I hated that black women bitched about not being apart of the Million Man March… I could have kicked those bitches asses. But again, what happen to the promise that black men made?

    Lastly, if black men didn’t care, they wouldn’t even dare to compare black women to women of other races. All thoughts of the black woman would be shot off like a bullet into the past. But while they are watching some white woman, or rican woman, or dominincan woman attempt to shake her ass like a black woman, they can never escape the thought or possibility of finding all that they want in a black woman.

  • Troy Bryant

    I had a supervisor who was from Domincan Republic in the military she cursed worse than a sailor. Delivering Coca Cola for several years I met a lot of pleasant, greatful fine ass Dominicans however I’ve met a lot more uneducated Dominicans who tried to get over because of their good looks. What I’m saying is because of my exposure I’ve met more people than the average bear and the bottom line is people are people if you expect something it’s going to be disappointing if you don’t find it. African American women have been groomed by this culture, this soiciety to dictate and dominate black men, they don’t know what want usually after they get through sparing with you and realize they can’t run over you they render you a compatible foe. But if they can run over you they call you sweet or stupid even they themselves won’t admit after a period of time they just want control.

  • cegx3

    Barbie I agree with some of your post. First of alllet me say that I adore black women and have been married to her for 15 years, but have no prefrence over all in the race of a woman but rather the content of her person… (looks matter as well…lol). There is a huge disconnect between us as black women and black men and it comes from very little or no communication. That breakdown in communication does lead to us not being a family, or for that matter not used to seeing what one is. There is so much negative retoric out there, that we can’t get past it to see that we need each other. Black men need black women to stand behind us when they need to, stand beside us because they want to, and stand in front of us when we need them to, we need someone to nurture us and
    our children . Black women need us as black men to do the same as well as to be protectors and providers. I think we have lost sight of what roles we should be playing in each other lives. For example in my home my wife does the lions share of the cooking and in return she never does the lawn, wash cars or take out the trash. More traditional roles really cut back on the issues and power struggles. Lastly please believe that women of all races like men are the same there are good better best and flat out bad. To address your last issue as a black women your exotic to many of the worlds men even black men.

  • Mocha

    I also found this site by an accident, which is reallt funny!!! I have a friend that travels 3 times to DR!! Wow interesting and shameless. Anyway, I think those men are making excuses and generalizing all African American women. Through my experience and observing close friends relationships is that it takes a real man to appreciate a real woman!!! Alot of African American men that I have came in contact with dont appreciate a fly and sexy woman that is educated, cooks, cleans, and work. As soon as they come in contact with that woman they automatically think that she is a so in love with him or she’s up to something (GOLD DIGGER)!!! I think the real problem is SELF-ESTEEM!!! If you already secure in your manhood and know what you want, it shouldn’t take a man to go to DR to know how they should be treated!! Lol!! I would think those men should already be taught that through their mom!!
    The real question is are you capable of being a real man? Are willing to have build a family and provide for your family by any means? Are you a maintanence man (Get your mind out the gutter)…Well, can the woman depend on you to paint the house, fix things around the house,etc. (not waste finances on dumb things like painting the home). If she encounters a difficult pregnacy can she actually depend and trust that you will provide for the family? Could you as Black men provide the black women the luxury of married before having children and also the opportunity to be a stay at home mother like other races and ethnicities (D.R. women)?

    Last, but not least for those BLACK men that always having something negative to say about BLACK women, you have the opportunity to date whom ever you choose!!!! The aforementioned comments are evident of low self-esteem, confused and definitely unaware of what they want, no wonder their women in their lives were controlling!!! Basically, your doing the Black women a favor by not dating us!!! Thank you for being so considerate!! One less bitter black woman in America!!! LMBO!!!
    The most common answer was that DR women knows how to treat a man….Dahhhh!!! they treat all American men that way!! You are the same dude in DR, that you are in America…. expect your assets is higher in DR!!! LMBO!!! You are the man in DR and just a John Doe in the U.S. Now, you know why the men in American with money tricks!!! Its only to get what we want!! Not, because we know how to treat a man!!! When the scale of assets are imbalanced 80% men and 20% women then probably the chance of an American woman treating you like D.R. women is likely. But, Im pretty sure you guys already know that!!! Men are weak for a pretty women since the beginning of time!! Adam was a sucka for Eve…she talked him into eating the apple…he knew it was forbidden!!! Guess what he did it!!! WOMEN in general, knows how to get what they want one way or another from MEN!!!

  • Scoresm

    You have to understand that in third world countries(and I’ve traveled to many), the women HAVE to depend on the man to take care of them and provide stability. That is usually why they treat their men this way…they actually have the time and they know it’s their way to secure a safe future. As a black woman…I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that but AMERICAN black men need to understand it’s probably not YOU invoking this type of behavior but the financial stability you may be able to provide.
    I think more black men should really take the time to get to know the women they are getting involved and maybe you will receive the treatment you so desire! It’s always better to have someone that is with you because they want to be with you…not because they need you!!

  • Scoresm

    @Juan- Don’t think that black women in America want to be men…black women in this country carry a lot on their backs…and yes…that includes cooking, cleaning, and teaching our kids how to speak and spell properly as well as how to treat people. That represents strength and honestly, I have seen those same traits form women of different nationalities and races who are poor or “working class”. Are you feeding into movies that you see or how the news at 11 showcases things? It really doesn’t seem as if you have been around a diverse group of black women. We are often told as a whole that we are not attractive, are too aggressive, too black, not submissive enough and the list goes on and on. But guess what? Stereotypes don’t really define individuals and why is it that the positive things black women do aren’t talked about?

  • Scoresm

    I wonder if black women here have an attitude problem because of the way people treat black women and how they think of us…including black men????

  • Scoresm

    Very well spoken. Anyone who has traveled to a variety of places and is observant knows this! is true!

  • Scoresm

    NS, I’m a black woman and I will say you can’t give up on black men or people. People are who they are no matter what color they are. You have decent people in every race and I have a lot of AM male friends that I’m not nor will ever be romantically involved with that are decent men that have treated me good as a friend and know how to treat a woman, in general. Everybody has issues. I have dated different races and men are men are men, no matter the race!

  • Soresm

    Wow Alex2000, where do you live? It seems as though you have had some bad experiences with people that were wrong for you or maybe your friends have. So this is the experience that is said to be had by dating a black American woman? Wow!!

  • dummy

    You forgot that we like to watch and play sports too!

  • Vanessa

    Im a Dominican female born, raised and educated in the US by Dominican immigrant parents. My Fiance is (American) black. His sisters (my future sister-in-laws) were upset with him because he gave me an engagement ring.They seem to be having a hard time understanding why he would stray away from “Black Women”. He saids he NEVER dated a black women who cooked, cleaned, ironed and took care of his needs in a drop of a dime. I think its a culture thing. We are taught as young girls to take care of your man..PERIOD. You learn to cook, clean, etc at a young age and grow up watching your mother bend over backwards to please your dad. Its not There is NOTHING my man can do for me that I cant do for myself…he def is not supporting this spanish fly (except for those occasional The other night my mans friend came over unexpected and mentioned he did not eat yet and was going to grab Chinese for dinner. I offered to cook dinner and he almost fell over in his chair.

  • Chris

    AHHHHHHHH…this is a crazy topic…. I just got back from Punta Cana, DR… YES, YES, YES, I love them Dominican women!!!… Drake was not lying when he said “Dominican women AIM TO PLEASE” Yes SIR they DO! Its crazy cause flying back home the flight attendant was Dominican also.. DAM she was FLY!…I personally prefer Dominican women. I feel black women are way too possessive and demanding…dam let a nigga…If your doing your man right, he wont stray. I think Dominican women know that..they are sure of themselves and therefore make us want them MORE.

  • Is not about been dominican or else ( because i am dominican ) and very proud of it. But is about how your parents raised you at home. And I kind of agree with the fact of some american black women are like that, they always depend on somebody else to do the stuff for them. But it does not have to be that race it could be any race. Because i know plenty different culture females who are like that.

  • Royalqueen1

    Hi there. My vote was that the men above are full of it. I am a black woman and I believe some people(some black men and men in general) typically think the grass is greener/better on the other side. In error they tend to think the woman who is giving them 20% is better than the woman giving them 80% at home, BECAUSE THEY ARE FOCUSED ON WHAT THE WOMAN IS NOT DOING. LET ME REITERATE -THEY ARE FOCUSED ON WHAT THE WOMAN WHO IS GIVING THE 80% IS NOT DOING. I believe many black women(and alot of women) give at least 70-80% in relationships as you can see many of us go work, school, cook, clean, iron, pay bills, run errands, all while holding down relationships.

    It is also ironic that these men want to say “others” do more for them, when their mothers raised, bathe, cooked, cleaned, ironed, dropped them to school, gave them lunch money, and in some cases without a man around….hmm

    I also think that some black ppl/blk men/women, TEND TO TREAT OTHERS BETTER THAN THEIR OWN due to brainwashing. They alter their behavior and approach for others. For example, many black men want to say that black women have attitudes when they appoach them. Could it be that this same black man approached a black woman in a negative manner, While on the flip side, he politely goes up to a non-black or non-black american speaking properly etc.

    Lastly I will only give the guy that I am dating a sample or preview of the gifts I have to offer. I will cook, clean etc sometimes but not everyday as if I am his wife and/or mother of his child. A woman who is playing house pretending to be wifey is setting herself up for foolery, since he is getting the cow for free.

    Lastly, many ppl say that black women need to date outside their race/culture. No thanks. I prefer an african american man because we have similiar experiences, the children we make are beautiful etc. Not all black men are bad, not all black women have bad attitudes, if you have encountered them then that is your fault for settling for less and being used and abused. Please be more wise in the choices YOU make.

  • Royalqueen1

    Hi Vanessa:

    Please go into the households of MARRIED black couples, you will find that black women WIVES typically do the same-cook and clean, especially when there are children. You said that he is not supporting you, only with occassional gifts, so that means you are working-please take a minute and listen to the black women at your job to see/hear them talk about going home making dinner, cleaning……
    Also its typical for some men to say the women in their past did not do this and that, it is what makes the woman they are with now feel better and to keep doing what she is doing…..unfortunately some women fall for it.

    Be well.

  • Royalqueen1

    ok thanks

  • lyn

    You said it sista!!! I am so sick and tired of hearing that other races (women) are much more superior than we are. Some of these women need to walk in our shoes.

    Shall I start with I needed my daddy but he didnt want to be around, I had my children and their daddy decided that he didnt want to be around his children either . I have a career, keep a clean house, manage my home, etc. What black men tend to forget is a majority of us and our mothers have managed our lives with our children alone without a man.

    I do know and respect those men who have stepped up to the plate……kudos to you and thank you for being there for your children.

    Please give us some credit. Considering my experiences “with no babies daddies” this has not tainted how I feel about the black men….I still adore them and wouldn’t have it any other way!!!

    We really need to stop tearing our race down and lift eachother…..It saddens me that our race is at war with eachother…..our kids are killing eachother and their parents are stabbing eachother in the back with words. When will we wake up. Come on we have so much in common…..remember my sweet black men chances are a wonderful black woman raised you and for you to even slightly hint that other races are better is a slap in our mammas face.


  • Blackwithoutattitude

    Thank you for expressing that Angel.

  • Davisda5

    RoyalQueen, Maybee thats why so few BW are married, if more were the way you described then Steve Harvey wouldnt make millions selling BS books to women.

  • Davisda5

    FYI, the majority of dominican women happen to be black. And since women know how to get what they want one way or another, how come soooooooooo many complain about being single?

  • Davisda5

    Amen Dane! American BW are quick to warn about HIV rates in other countries when HIV is the leading casuse of death in BW between 25-44. Fact is that many of these women who spent their 20′s screaming their independence to all who would listen now complain in their thirties about the “good” men wanting something that they cant compete with. Remember ladies :you dont need a man, and you can do bad by yourself, and you are an independant woman. You should be glad that men dont want to marry you.

  • Davisda5

    Baby girl you aint that fresh.

  • Davisda5

    Funny i just had a convo with an insurance company rep who was telling me of the dramatic increase in men who are putting their foreign wives on their coverage. Yea it probably would make you feel better about your situation if it was just sex, but in the age of sex and the city you dont have to go far in america for sex.

  • Davisda5

    Yea, im sure men in more traditional countries are clamoring for american women.

  • Mean Green

    Have you seen Puerto Rican women?

  • Jay

    Dominican Women are black, they just don’t come with the baggage and drama of American Black women, they are not as disrespectful, not as money hungry, and more loyal.

  • princess

    all you dumb in a cans know how to do is sell pussy!! You’re used to doing it in your country.. that is why men go there to get cheap ass.. according to MY Dominican husband who doesn’t even date his own kind told me so. he even told me that those that live in the country side would live for free and do anything just to live in the good area.. so please with that shit!! he said you can live over there have a driver and maid for cheap.. so maybe thats why you were taught from young to cook and clean.. LMAO.. and i wish ya’ll stop hating on us PR.. SMH!!

  • princess

    GOOD LUCK BUDDY after saying “I DO” MARK MY WORDS!!!

  • NotAMaid

    Im Dominican but i dont clean and i certainly dont iron or “live to make my man comfortable”… i am not a maid, and i cook IF i want to, and never every day….. the guys in this article are full of it, black men expect women to treat them like kings, turn a blind eye to their “women on the side/kids out of wetlock”…. thats why i only date European men, that know very well that I am not there to serve them.

  • loser

    wow what a loser hahaha

  • princess

    what about US Puerto Rican Women??

  • princess

    oh girl PLEASEEE!!! You’re probably trynna get that GREEN CARD!! LMAO..

  • princess

    Trust me don’t believe her hype!! They’re as scandalous as they come… LMAO

  • Genaw22

    TThanks my boyfriend is going for the second year…hmmm

  • Genaw22

    Oh yeah…I am brown…from the south…and as a true southern bell I enjoy caring, loving and doing for not just my man but my home…that includes all whom I love….I have an mba and I don’t feel any less by caring/serving others…my first example is Jesus…then my mom and dad (yes they are together ) both serve eachother…my dad gets up early to iron my moms clothes…he is just better at it…my mom does most of the cleaning…she likes it a certain way….they both cook and work…..if no one cooked..they both would go out for dinner….that’s love……that’s what….I would like….it funnyto hear people say what brown women do or don’t do…..that’s just the response u may evoke from that person……I promise u if u start with yourself…..loving hard, giving much, u will soften the hardest….then you will feel loved because it’d only real when its shown………I show it….I care if Ur thirsty, hungry,tired, horney”lol”…I really don’t mind …I would enemy go as far to say its an honor to make Ur life better….I know how great it feels to have it done for u …what ever it is……in closing..I love all of the islands but I am sure its great to see someone that clearly
    shares ur ancestry in a totally different environment…I am sure that may draw other men of color from the states…..just as I love to see the beauty in Trinidad…..I feel connected when I see people similar…no attitude like I felt in Mexico or Bahamas….I was treated as an outsider….some islands welcome and appreciate u for choosing there island and create the experience…all this talk makes me want to plan a girls trip….

  • Briel

    I have been married to a Dominican man for eight years, and I have been to the island. I know that woman in D.R. cook , clean, and try to take care of their husbands, but they have very little work in this country and it is hard enough for the men to get jobs, so the woman stay home and take care of the children and their homes. American woman have more opportunities than D.R. women. These D.R. women have to put up with all their men crap because they are the bread and butter of the homes, but I truly believe things would be different if the woman did not have to rely on the man so much. I as an American woman adjusted much to my husband culture, but as they say, give them a inch and they want a foot. Nobody is perfect in this life and if you are with someone that does not meet your needs then I say to let them go before you waist their time, but you do not have to go to another country to find the person for you and chances are that you will have to many cultural differences any ways and that is more difficult than ones imperfections.


    Most Dominican women are pure whores who’ll do ANYTHING for money and to get to America. I’ve seen it a Million times here in NY. They are so in love and attentive until they get here. A taxi driver who was Dominican called his house  and hung up after only a few words which were “Oh, He’s still there.” He told us that his wife was doing the super’ but he didn’t care because they lived rent free because of it. The moral compasses of these women are so out of order. Maybe American women have “issues” stemming from all the abuse, and betrayel they have experienced but at least they still know right from wrong and if a man is honest and  patient, he’s find a real good  faithful woman underneath all that hurt. 

  • Bgibbons89

     Wow I don’t even believe you. Thats how bad its gotten here in america. This is so rare it sounds scary and unrealistic. (no offense)

  • Bg344

     Its very simple John henryism. no one has more social pressure than black men. That is statistically evident through health problems, and mortality rates. As a black man I feel like I get support from nowhere. I absolutely love my sisters but I have dealt with a lot of attitudes and dishonesty. Of corse they are all crawling back now that I am 24 with a masters degree and a good job. But i can safely say that no one has been there to support me throughout this endeavor. Now all of those uneducated losers from my past are trying to show their pathetic faces. I have never dated anything but black and I treated all of them with the upmost respect and compassion. It has gotten me nowhere. I always shunned those who didn’t appreciate our sisters and omitted them from their dating choices. The reason for this was because omitting sisters is simply reverse discrimination. Now if I need to go to DR to get someone who will respect me and treat me well minus an attitude than im willing to pay for it. Im sick of going to work and being discriminated against at every turn, and than going home to a lack of appreciation. In defense of some of those men, we will simply pay any price for a little compassion or respect. Everyone has disingenuous motives. If you must succumb to those motives why the hell cant you be treated well in return. Black women complain like crazy, hell  my friends mom drives a Mercedes and has a husband who has been there for her and her children for over 20 years. no appreciation what so ever. It pains me to say this but many sisters feel entitled to everything and appreciate very little. Sorry….. hopefully now you understand why us successful brothers look elsewhere. :(

  • Danielle Martin

    i agree, it’s just tearing up the black family.  I just read an article saying 90% of DR people are black the other 10% are fully mixed with black!!!!!  That means they are just as African as we are.  But the culture is different. Here, we are taught from a young age to not need a man for nothing.  There they are taught that they do need a man, because of more two parent households.  Also, their standard of beauty is different.  So they always present themselves as straight haired, lighter skin, and it appears exotic in comparison to the “average” black woman.  But its false as we know from Dominican salons, Brazilian keratin blowouts and extensions. 

    i’m a married black woman so when i read stories like this i laugh because I guess i dont fit the stereotype.  I have been married since i was 25, and this will be my 5th year of marriage. Black sistas!  Listen your man will come, just work on yourself and be ready to recieve him when he gets there!

  • Tiffany

    It hurts my heart a many a day to keep hearing Black men degrade their own. I love my Black brotha’s and always will, and do not compare them to a man of a different race. No particular race is better than the other. I mean that’s kinda like racism isn’t it. Now if one can find a mate that they have been in search of and he/she happens to be of a certain culture or race then that should be why a man chooses her. Not because she’s of a different race she’s miracously better than black woman. How would Black men feel if we put them on a low scale and considered them as nothing. I would figure being a black man that already has it hard enough would make him non-racist. As for me on a personal level I have dated white, black and hispanic, but I have never said that any of those men were better than the other based on their race, culture, or background. I say, we as a people who have had it the owrst would refrain from such a way of thinking and making excuse for the lack there of in relationships. I have no problem making a man feel like a King, as long as I can get to sit by him on the throne as his Queen. I can recall many of heartbreaks and I did all that I could do to please a man. I love all my brothas to the end no matter what the circumstances, there aint nothing greater in the world then a black man holding me. Good Luck you guys

  • WhtUknoBoutTht

    well i am a WHITE american female and I am married to a dominican man And you best believe I do EVERYTHING for him and his mother and family dont like me because i am not dominican so it just them wanting him to stay with his own SO  sorry hun aint nothing to do with you being dominican that makes you a better woman or wife just cause your mother slaved ur azz st8 up And I cook spanish food because I went that extra mile to learn it And NO not from his momma !!

    NO matter what race you are there is lazy woman and strong good woman and wifes that take care of there man PERIOD !! 

  • 25andfighting

    It’s really sad to hear black men talk about black women so negatively. If Black men were more concerned about the social, personal, and physical well-being of black women, they would not be so fixated on what they think they are NOT getting from black women. It’s typical that American Black women are dismissed, denigrated, and derided by American society including our own. Too many black men (and the black community as a whole) have bought into the racist ideologies and stereotypes perpetuated by white culture. Many black men also say these things about us so they can have an excuse to date white women or white-skinned women (non-european). In general, American men as a group tend to be more insecure, immature, selfish, and ignorant than their non- American counterparts. Unfortunately black women are partially at fault for these black men. Like hispanic men, they are raised and treated as kings and so expect to be treated as such as grown men. Too many are not raised to take responsibility for people other than themselves; to nuture and commit to personal relationships; and to protect women other than their mothers. Black women are becoming extinct and we shouldn’t limit ourselves to black men because we deserve the best in this life. WE only have one chance, one life, maybe one opportunity to truly be happy. And we should any way we need to.

  • 25andfighting

    Many women who aren’t Black American would like to think that we are domestically incompetent and unable to care for our men and families. Many people have been brainwashed to believe these negative things about black women perpetuated by white american culture. Many women(non black american) want to believe these things to reduce competition and justify their relationships with black men. I hope your relationship with your black man is not one-sided. I hope that he is compassionate, selfless thoughtful, and faithful – that he satisfies you completely in every way. Because a selfish man will wander whether you provide for him or not.

  • 25andfighting

    Dear Black American woman,
    I urge you to find peace, success, and happiness in your life. To find people who better you, love you, and respect you and that you accept nothing less because we are beautiful, loving, kind, brilliant, and worthy. The world wants to paint us in one color, but we must fight to paint the world’s palette with all of our colors. I don’t care how corny this sounds because the only people who will fight for us is us.

  • 25andfighting

    I am a black american woman and you are right about the american perception of black american women. We’re never seen as exotic or beautiful or desirable. I’m 25 and I have come to accept that a family and love may not happen for me. I don’t think that enought black women will find what you have with black men, but Lady Gaga once said that if you cannot find that kind of love there are other ways to give it. And I believe that. I do wish you the best in your marriage.

  • DRtotheUS

    I feel about black men the way you feel about black women. And when I see a black men I’m attracted to I automatically think they don’t date black women or that they would date me because they don’t have other options. I know DR women are black too, but most black men that think of DR women see the light-skinned, straight haired ones in their minds. If you find an ambitious, learned, hard working DR man that can cook, clean, and cater to my needs as much as I would to his, then you can let him know that there are plenty of black american women who will scoop him up. Tell him I’ll get him his green card for him.

  • hello

    PLEASE STOP LYING ABOUT HOW DR women “look the same” umm no they don’t they look more mixed and their hair texture is usually wavy or straight ..I didn’t say they arent black but there are “different kinds” of black



  • quisqueyalabella

    hateeerrr!!! lmao puertorra sucia

  • Rosie

    let me tell you something hunny, there might be some women that are like the ones you described in Dominican, but please don’t be so stupid and ignorant and say that ALL women are like that, would you like it if I say all the people in your country (sorry, it’s not even a country haha!) somoke and sell weed? even though they all might…lol

  • stacy

    OMG you are so right!

  • Elvin Espinal

    oh, excuss me, they are money hungry and they like the cuchi, cuchi alot. 

  • mj

    Dominicans are just as black as black women! No matter what country yu come from or live in. This article is bullshit to an extent because women from PAST generations in DR actually were raised that way but times has changed. I’m Dominican but I was born here. I’m lazy and I don’t cook and I hate to clean. I only clean when things are in MY way. Ultimately EVERY women is different and so is every man. Just about every one in the comment section AND whoever wrote this article are simply applying stereotypes just the same as the white people did to the black people back in the times of Abraham Lincoln. It don’t matter where yu from or where yu were born, women and men come with different and unique qualities that shouldn’t be stereotyped to freaking race or kind. Oh btw to whoever Puerto Rican and trying to say that yur better than a Dominican, shut that sh!t up! Dominicans and Puerto Ricans have soo many things in common that the two countries might as well be sisters/brothers. Stop hateing and grow up. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover and in this case by it’s roots.

  • mj

    Stop being ignorant. Just because Dominican women have flaws, like every other women in any other race have, that don’t give yu NO RIGHT to try and insult someone by how they were raised. If anything, anyone can just as easily insult yu because yur white or that yur married to a Dominican man (which btw the stereotype for Dominican men is that they are all cheaters and they use white women to get in the states, yu might wanna check up on that). But yu are right when yu say that every race has it’s “good women” and “bad women”.

  • mj

    Grow up. Yur dominican husband was probably the very same man who would only go bakk to his country to get some “cheap ass”. And since yur stupid and ignorant ima have yu know that Dominicans and Boricuas ARE THE F***ING SAME. We all love platanos, we all dance to bachata merengue and salsa, we all love to have fun, we all love to drink, and we all have roots in Africa and Spain! So get the f*** over yur “boricua”-ness and learn to be unique through yur own personality as a person, not as a Puerto Rican.

  • mj

    Look idiot, there are women all over the world like that, especially when yu consider the econimic crisis in other countries and the fact that DR is a poorer country than most. Yu only c it soo much in NY because that’s where all immigrants used to enter the united states and ofcourse its still like that. I bet yu either live in Manhattan or just go there alot because have yu tried going to where all the Italians live? And china town? And where all the Trinidadians live? Try visiting other parts of NY and try actually GOING to DR and meeting the beautiful and classy women there are in DR and PR and India and China and Spain and wherever else in the world. ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT stupid. Don’t waste yur life away generalizing a race because yu are in an area where the number of POOR PEOPLE from other contries that are trying to get by, is concentrated there. Ofcourse, coming from a poor country is not an excuse for women to be gold diggers and yu also need to consider the fact that some women simply have that personality, just like some of the black women in the US. Open yur mind, leave yur ignorance at the door, and understand what a person’s SITUATION is before yu decide to judge them.

  • LaughingAtYOU

    Green card? Can’t you read? She was BORN AND RAISED HERE, imbecile. Another stupid, uneducated black woman making up BS stories. A Dominican man married to a black American woman? LMFAO. That’s a good one, thanks for the laugh!

  • EMPRESSMendez

    VERY TRUE JUAN! However, don’t lump us all up in that category. Unfortunately, I was born here in NY so I am an “American” (born to Dominican parents, though), but I agree with what you say! Americans (mostly the white ones, they were the ones who made up the “one drop rule”, which really doesn’t exist anymore, but it’s still being used in general are VERY ignorant when it comes to culture and races.

  • mm

    Oh, I agree with everything EXCEPT the last part. Now you sound ignorant.

  • WOWidiot

    Dominican is not a race. You’re stupid, enough said.


    LOL, what article did YOU supposedly “read” with those LUDICROUS STATISTICS? LMFAO! 

    Please go get an education before making assumptions. 80% of the Dominican Republic are mixed BLACK AND WHITE, not just “BLACK”, we don’t use one drop rule because that does NOT exist anymore, WAKE UP, idiot!

    16% are white, while the rest are “pure” black. What the fuck have you been reading??? Dominicans in general have MIXED/SOFT CURLY HAIR. Black American women on the average DO NOT – black american women on the average have KINKY CURLS because they are LESS MIXED.  Stop making up BS, please. You sound PATHETIC!

  • Idiots

    Self-hating because they are attracted to a different culture and way of living? Another stupid, pathetic, uneducated, black American woman. You stupid women are hilarious because you guys are SO STUPID. It’s all over “color” and “race” with you dumb broads. GO TO SCHOOL and this time try to FINISH HIGH SCHOOL AND GO TO COLLEGE. Seriously! You black American women are fucking idiots.


    Dominican, Puerto Rican = NATIONALITIES, NOT RACES.

    You black American woman are so uneducated it’s truly hilarious.

  • Beloved21day

    Thats cool that you think you got your husband like that. The best thing us black women do it take care of our mind , body and soul. So when he get done of acting like you are his mom and not women . By cooking and cleaning all the time for him.What happen to 50/50 relationships.When you take care of your man and he take care of you. I read this but im missing what he do for you to make you feel special. Like take you out, Send you roses.Im sorry honey. But us black women came a long way and we gonna get that attention. Or we will let yall have them.

  • Beloved21day

    They can have you ! What you do for her? Ok a decent man who will not cheat ok. Well the games never change just the player. You will get tried . Just like any man …and see what happens good luck on the Marriage. I know a couple she is Dominican and he is black . Well sorry to say they were Married for 6 years . She cheated and got pregnant by another man.So she really worked with him :)  So speak for your self with someone not wanting a cheater . Thats every racist. Us black women need real men. No matter the racist and if you ran off to another country to find someone?What do that say about you?

  • Lotusbudblooms

    They’re going foreign because the majority of black women are keeping them interested and aren’t coming across as quality.

  • ricoh

    Good strong Afro woman can be found in all sub-cultures,many african american woman are even more dedicated to their man,they work support there families,take care of there household and support there man mentally and economically.Sometime they are the sole breadwinner.I am AA man ,but I know a lot bmen who just want uses bw woman as pleasure units,and thats all.B men need to understand treat a good  woman with ,espect andmental moral strenght.A man  should always  be respectful.

  • Junior

    What you have just described here is why bunch of black females are single. I won’t doubt it a bit if you are single. You sound like one single lady who will forever jump from one man to another because you lack the basics of a real woman

  • Jr

    I do agree with you and this is mostly about trying to generalize the initial thought about black women….there are good and bad women in every race but what is different in the black culture in America is we don’t believe in family values, marriages and that’s why most black marriages end in divorce because a single black person can hard count 5 successful marriages they can model….Yes we need to wake up and help our kids understand the value of marriage. Let’s deal with this and the other things can be dealt with

  • Miguel

    25andfighting, I feel your point but you don’t know what these brothers have experienced.  A lot of it is media propaganda but a lot of it is that black men and black women lost their way in communications.  I am half A-A and half black Dominican and I can tell you that there are plenty of Dominican women that do not take care of their men.  However, it is still a bit more engrained in the dominican culture to take care of their men.  These men could have very well experienced heart ache with the sistas you don’t know what they have gone through.  They shouldn’t right off american blacks because they don’t know where their love will come from.

  • Miguel

    Everyone… we need to stop all this bickering.  No one wants a maid for a wife but when a men takes care of his queen there is nothing wrong with her taking care of him.  If the man and woman take care of each other everything blends together so wonderfully.  No matter the race women, and men are to busy pointing the finger that they don’t realize that there are 3 more pointing at you.  If black men and black women look and are open and honest with themselves and each other about what they are doing wrong in the relationship.  They will go a very long way in repairing the damage done by years of failing to communicate.

  • Honeybrown7215

    There is a major decline in the Nubian Family.  The respect for Man and Woman has decrease. We must study and work on how to build the Nubian Family and Families as a whole. Communication is a must with kind and sincere words to one another inorder to have a mindful discussion. Peace.

  • Miguel

    I don’t think that is totally correct.  There are definitely many sistas out there that want their cake and eat it too.  They want a man that makes them to feel, safe, secure, provide, be loving and caring, and then they want to disrespect him and run everything as well.  Trust me it is out there and I have seen it.  If one can’t see that then they are probably that woman.  There are brothas out there that want a woman, to work, cook, clean, take care of the kids, look gorgeous all of the time and never complain about anything or have an opinion.  Brothas and sistas need to come to the table with realistic expectations and learn to communicate.

  • Miguel

    I am part dominican and have plenty of friends and family with in the DR.  Trust me there are plenty… I mean plenty of kinky haired dominicans.  A lot of dark-skinned kinky-haired dominican sistas.  The only difference is their slave captures were from Spain and not England.

  • Miguel

    I agree with most of your post.  However, I do not believe that the situation that black men and women are in are the fault of the black man.  I believe that the blame is equally shared.  Although I do not call women out of their name and disprespect them but no one ever wants to confront the sistas who act out.  If a sista is loud, disprespectful, smoking weed around her kids, a gold digger, and dresses with almost no clothes.  I am more concerned with the sista’s behavior and mind set then I am with the brotha that called her out of her name.  I am less concerned about the sista calling the brotha a bum, scrub, loser, or sorry @$$ n word then I am with the brother not looking for a job, smoking and drinking and not taking care of his kids. Our priorities are in the wrong place.  Now these people are in the minority in the A-A community but they are what gets all the attention.  I am A-A and Dominican.  I know and love both communities very well, I think we should all be honest and communicate with each other.

  • Miguel

    This is part of an earlier post. 

      I do not believe that the situation that black men and women are in are the fault of the black man.  I believe that the blame is equally shared.  Although I do not call women out of their name and disprespect them but no one ever wants to confront the sistas who act out.  If a sista is loud, disprespectful, smoking weed around her kids, a gold digger, and dresses with almost no clothes.  I am more concerned with the sista’s behavior and mind set then I am with the brotha that called her out of her name.  I am less concerned about the sista calling the brotha a bum, scrub, loser, or sorry @$$ n word then I am with the brother not looking for a job, smoking and drinking and not taking care of his kids. Our priorities are in the wrong place.  Now these people are in the minority in the A-A community but they are what gets all the attention.  I am A-A and Dominican.  I know and love both communities very well, I think we should all be honest and communicate with each other.

    Sistas are contributing to the fall of the black relationship just like the brothas are but it is socially acceptable to point the fingers at men.  There is a statistic that says 1 out of every 6 children that you see in the black community is calling the wrong person daddy.  Where does the woman’s fault like in this.  There are tons of brothas not caring for their kids… we hear about this.  You see men know they share a role in this disfunction but they are shutting themselves off because no one is saying anything to the sistas about their role in this.  It’s like that sibling or cousin that used to do dirt with you and your parents would only punish u because they thought your sibling or cousin was so good and they sit back and laugh while you get punished.  That is the way many black men look at the relationship with sistas.  Until there is an open and honest dialogue there will always be this riff in A-A relationships.

  • Miguel

    Black men and black women share the blame for the gap in our relationships.  As long as black men feel like they are the only one to blame there will always be distance between us.  I am part A-A and part Domincan and I love them both.  There needs to be an open and honest dialogue about the problems that black men and black women bring in our relationships.  I love my A-A sistas and my Dominican sistas y’all are basically the same and you both are the most beautiful women on the planet and I love u.  Come on brothas and sistas lets be honest with each other so we can fix this thing.

  • Miguel

    What comes first the chicken or the egg?  What came first the attitude or the responses to the attitude?  I don’t know but black men and women need to find a way to fix the relationship problem.

  • Miguel

    Hey Mama, coming from a Dominican man even though I’m half I’m still Dominican, I can tell you that there are a lot of unfaithful Dominican women.  No one wants a slave… I know I don’t.  I know I will try to give the world to my woman and I love deep.  I want a woman that will take care of me because I will sure as hell take care of her.

  • Miguel

    Don’t say that… black american women are so beautiful and desirable I can taste it.  ;) U will find love sweetie.  Just like I am looking for a wonderful black american or black hispanic woman that I can be good to and that will be good to me.  Keep fighting 25andfighting.

  • Miguel

    Even though the one drop rule was established by a racist governement the US.  If you do some research you will discover that it is based on genetic research by the father of genetics Dr. Mendle.  People don’t like the rule because it makes people that want to disconnect from Africa uncomfortable but the African or Negroid gene is the most dominant gene in the human gene pool.

  • Miguel

    My sista have u thought about what many of these sistas do to try and drive these fathers out of their children’s lives.  Although I cannot speak for your mother and father or your kid’s father’s situation I know many mothers contribute to the seperation.  In my case it would never happen I would go to war to be in my kids life but I have female friends and know of females who do everything in their power to hurt the father because he does not want to be with them anymore.  They use the child as an instrument of pain to keep the father away.  They only think of their own feelings and not their childs.  They want the father to lose his will to fight so they can in turn tell their kid that their dad ain’t ish.  Of course this is not all of the situations of absentee dads but I can promise you it is much more than you would believe.  That is why is said for black women and black men becareful when you are pointing that finger because there are 3 more pointing back at you.

  • Miguel

    Mocha women are suckas for a tall dark and handsome man too. Think of all the crap you or your friends have taken.  The problem is 2 fold men and women.  Since you are throwing the bible in it the man made a mistake of listening to his woman over God.  Since the woman was untrustworthy she got the brunt of the punishment.

  • Miguel

    The one drop rule was used by the US government for racists purposes but it originated in genetic research from Dr. Mendle the father of genetics.  The research stated that the African or Negroid gene is the most dominant gene in the human gene pool.  Not that it is the best just that it is the strongest for charactersitics, color, etc.  Many people don’t like it because it makes them feel to connected to Africa.

  • Miguel

    This is something you might not know Juan my friend.

    The one drop rule was used by the US government for racists purposes but it originated in genetic research from Dr. Mendle the father of genetics.  The research stated that the African or Negroid gene is the most dominant gene in the human gene pool.  Not that it is the best just that it is the strongest for charactersitics, color, etc.  Many people don’t like it because it makes them feel to connected to Africa.

    It is what it is my freind.  The one drop law is racist as hell but it is rooted in genetic facts.  Dr. Mendle went as far as to say that the black gene “annihilated” any other gene in came into contact with.

  • Miguel

    Not everyone in poor areas are sankys but you are very likely to meet one hanging around in tourist areas.  There is nothing wrong with a woman that sincerely wants to cater to her man.  I don’t know any man that wants a slave but if he is giving his all to his woman and treating her like a queen there is nothing wrong with her showing the same love an appreciation.  I have female dominican relatives who are educated and well employed who happen to live in the US and they do tend to cater to there husband and family alot but there are plenty of A-A woman that do the same.

  • Chelsea

    believe me HUN it is a culture thing… you white women were taught to be impartial- through the flood of racism that all of you gringo cocolos were conditioned to frickin believe… so don’t come up here with your it doesn’t matter what race you are. Just save it for the next ignorant fool! FYI, you people are and seem to always be on top of the social status at EVERYTHING, even in the dating world, so if I were you I would quit B*** and complaining!

  • Chelsea

    good point vanessa… something to thing about after all.

  • Chelsea

    ignorant as they come… I am certainly not like that nor the women in my family are not! someone here needs to lay off on those narrow-minded stereotypes. obviously it went over your “head” crowned princess! and believe me, there is a word for women who never married or ever get involved with other men… they are called JAMONAS! we even have a word in a vocabulary to describe a good number of women (even the ones I know) in my culture.

  • Chelsea

    in biblical terms, that is considered complementing the man… sure every woman has her own mind, but the question is, is it legitimate to take on the role of the man? I know you talk about equality, but how much level of independence does a woman should embark on before she pushes the “always so dominant men of the world” away?

  • Hitman483

    I have a question for the men that were interviewed, how were you talking to these women? If they don’t speak English, then all of the men above speak spanish.  If not, these women were prositutes.
    Also, what area were these men in. Bavaro, La Romana, Santo Domingo,  Puerto Plata or even Boca Chica. That majority of these women don’t speak english. I want to know how these men are communicating with these women.  Remember, this country is extremly poor.  These women like money, because they don’t have any.  If you have seen any of their homes, then these men know how poor they really are.

  • Sallilucas

    Bullcrap. I am a Black American and my boyfriend is Dominican. His family is from La Romana and mostly all of the men in his family have Non -Dominican women, Black men go to the DR for sex plain and simple. There are prostitues everywhere. Please don’t make it seem like Dominican women are special. Most of them are lazy, uneducated, ignorant andloud. All they want to do is have there hair and nails done.

  • Jillian

    i would love to see what you look like. You sound so ignorant and stupid mixed my ass. i have been to the DR several times punta and most of you are BLACK. Always lying about having ancestors from Spain.  Go to Spain talking that shit and they’ll spit in your BLACK faces.Pathetic . Look at Zoe Saldana Black and beautiful. Daniia Ramirez black. You stupid Dominican women perm the shit out of your hair so that it will appears STRAIGHT. what a fng. joke. My man is Dominican and he cant stand you loud ignorant flat assed fools. Good for laying on your backs. Cook and clean welfare hoes. 

  • Liv

    I think it’s you who’s ignorant (and apparently other respondents here who didn’t mention the following). Different skin tones amongst African Americans is simply the catch-22 of genetics. A random inheritance that isn’t directly linked to the proportions of black vs non-black blood in someone. Will Smith is just as Black as Wesley Snipes.  Will just happened to inherit a lighter complexion. Doesn’t mean he’s mixed or that Wesley is less so. Europeans seem to be unable to grasp this concept about genetics and go to extremes by griping about the one drop rule. Do you mean to imply that “black” people can only be literally black in
    color? That black people can’t have different skin tones? African American families have different skin tones within themselves. You couldn’t say that one member is more mixed just because they happen to be lighter than another. There’s different skin tones in Africa too if you look. And most are full-blooded Africans. Beyonce being mixed is a misconception caused by her sudden disclosure that she is PART creole. Which some suspect may have been her intention. Her dad is Caribbean and probably has different skin tones within his family too.

    The mosaic of African American skin colors has nothing to do with the one drop rule and has everything to do with Americans knowledge that Black Americans as a WHOLE are mixed and that genetics is pretty random when it comes to things like skin color, hair-texture, facial features and so on. And as for biracial people. The one drop rule is basically dead. Multi-racial people can self-identify however they want but if they do have pronounced African features they will be labled as black in the country. That’s just the way it is. Seems to me that your vitriol about non-black skinned people of color being labeled black has more to do with the stigma of blackness and your disdain for being equated with it.

  • Fu

    Who the hell would want to date a black women? Too much attitude and nappy hair, lol.

  • MzHarris

    It appears to me that you too cannot read. You call Princess out as being “another uneducated black woman” but if you could read you would’ve noticed that she referenced herself as being PR (puerto rican) dumb ass. In addition I find your comment highly offensive being that I am an African American woman. A highly educated AA woman, who has been married for 10yrs. From day one I have always cooked for my man. Then once we moved in together and got married I cooked, cleaned, worked, and did for my man. In fact all his friends, brothers, and brothers friends would always be at our house because they knew that I would be cooking. So rather than slam the next race, lets look at our own. Because at the end of the day for every Dominican woman that is married to a black man, there is a Dominican woman that is not married to a DOMINICAN MAN. So then the question could easily become “Why do Domincan women date/marry outside their race”? Lets just leave things at… NO matter what race you are there is lazy woman and strong good woman and wife that take care of there man PERIOD !!  

    I personally love interracial couples, they represent the beauty that God has created. It shows how far we have come, in that we have learned to appreciate, accept, love what’s on the inside and all that makes us different. As a Black woman I am honored when women of other races marry our men. It shows me that what was once talked about and made fun of is now accepted for the beauty we saw all along. The Beauty Of A Strong Black Man. Not to mention biracial babies are so special. They represent the best of different worlds.

  • Yoris Noboa

    We (dominicans) are so mixed up in color, race, actitudes and so many other thing sfrom so many cultures from all over the world, we have the sumisive of mexicans, taking care of our partner just like any other caribbean women, there is a lot of dominican just so independient as americans, Ive seen lost of website saying that prostitution in DR in legal, wich is not true at all, we are smaller than just any city in the US, of course doent matter how many whore we have its always going to be more notorious in our country than US, women complaining about loosing their man, come on, we are not a threat for nobody and yes there are tons of dominican looking for american guys, for so many reasons (love, money, visa, etc…) that doesn’t make all of us, in fact, there are thousands of dominicans that are completely BITCHES but the majority of us are pretty much just caribbean, thats the way we are most of us, not all of us, please don’t judge us either in a good or bad way for your experience…proud of being dominican!

  • Yoris Noboa

    sorryyyyy, are you talking about BLACK WOMEN? the well known ladies that spend tons of money on their fake hair and nails are black….you better watch yourself before youwreck yourself…

  • Yoris Noboa

    I am dominican and I married my husband for true love, his is american-white, non spanish speaker at all, and he is worse that some domincan guys, spend night out with friends and lots of shit that he try to drill in my mind “thats normal here in the us”  do you get how stupid we are, no american will take that crap from any guy here…this is not about ignorance, it about a sumisive culture.

  • MzHarris

    I just want to say I love your positivity and insight on the matter. It is refreshing to see that not everyone on this post is so negative or out to point the finger.

  • MzHarris

    I agree with Miguel, never give up on love. It will happen for you. Keep the faith and God Bless.

  • Eli

    The title of your article implies that most black men who
    have been to the Dominican Republic or who frequent the island, really understand
    the culture or the woman of the island. I would summit (with confidence) that
    they don’t know very much about either.

    I’m a professional African American (AA) man who has (on
    business) lived in the Dominican Republic for 3yrs. I’m 6’1, 200lbs, fit,
    educated, titled, upper middle class (in Dom Rep that’s kind of rich) ,and
    speaks fluent Spanish. I loved the island and had/have good friends (one real
    girlfriend), families, and acquaintances to this today.

    First of all the island has some unquie challenges and still
    suffers from the effects of colonization. Latinos in general are very passionate
    (AA’s are suckers for this trait), family orientated, and the men tend to be machismo.
    Poverty if profound, and opportunities too few.

    Therefore; when these brothers from the USA come to the
    island, it’s almost always in the popular tourist areas. Where Dominicans
    looking for a chance, or are trying the shine. No good Dominican woman from a respectable
    background with family would be caught dead with one of these hungry gringos
    around the “strip.” Especially since most hook-ups have a huge cultural language

    Now what most guys find of these short trips to the island
    are cute (in African American desperate male terms) little whores or qusi-whores
    who understand the hard life the island offers many at the bottom scale, and
    are looking for a hand-up for themselves and the team(mom, dad, brothers,
    sisters, kids=team). Trust me I don’t blame them!  The problem for many of these foolish
    brothers is that they often think they have found something! Jajajajajajajaj. Every
    week it’s a new crop of men and many times these woman have Dominican
    boyfriends who share in the spoils,and once the American dude is gone he reappears.

      Now, that’s not to say;
    that a real Dominican woman can honestly fall for and love an AA, because they
    can. It just requires more than a week here and there, a command of the
    language, and an understanding of the cultural values of Dominicans (& vice

    FYI: For those brothers who think you’re so in love with
    Latinas remember this; Yes they are very domestically skilled especially as
    compared to American woman, but keep in mind that means you have to be a man.
    In a real way ok! The passion, OMG yes that’s true too, but please believe me that’s
    a two way road! You know that expression “hell knows no fury like a woman’s
    scorn” well Latinas put a new twist on that expression.





  • Tshephard

    People, please lets leave the hatred and racism out of the discussion.  There are great men and women, as well as bad men and women, found in every race and culture known to man.  This is definitely a cultural issue.  I am a black man, and I consider myself to be a very good man, regardless of my race. I have been married to the same strong and supportive black women for 19 years.  We have 2 beautiful children, that I adore.  I have been and want to always be there for them and to be a positive and active part of there lives.  My wife is truly my best friend and a good women.  Due to my work schedule, I am at home before her, several day a week.  On these days, I cook for my family, I clean and I do repairs around my home to save money, and help out any way that I can.  I send flowers for no reason, I never forget special occasions, and compliment my wife whenever possible, to let her know how I feel about her. She is still beautiful and sexy to me, even after all of these years.  Unfortunately, I have recently considered leaving, due to some issues that have been addressed here, which have nothing to do with race.  I have dated women from many different races and cultural backgrounds, having been in the military.  Believe me, they all have there goods and bads that have nothing to do with race, but much to do with culture and up bringing.  Many American women, not all, have become jaded and distracted by the rat race and society.  The biggest problem with America is the break down of the family cirle.  Womens rights, though they were needed in some respect, actually led to many of the problems today.  Ladies bare with me for a moment. This movement empowered women to leave the household, compete for jobs, and to become more independant.  This was not totally a bad thing, but what it did, was that it took strong loving woman out of the house.  Now we pay an arm and a leg for childcare, families rarely dine together anymore, the new generation lacks self care skills because there has been no one to teach them, amongst other social issues.  The other issue, which brings us to this discussion, is that American women have become so caught up in their careers and the competition, that many do not have the time or energy to dedicate to their families and relationships.  Along with this, many men do not do much to try and offset this situation.  Many women due to there finacial success and independence, feel that they are above certain activities with their partners and that they should be catered to. Many have become self rightous and placed themselves on an unreasonable pedestal.  This is why many men seek women from the DR and other countries.  Not all, but many women from countries with slower lifestyles and older traditions are raised to take care of the home, the familiy and their men, because in their societies, the men are many times still the bread winner and the womens priorty is the household, not the corporate office or the babysitting grown people all day at the office. They are not worrying about expensive bill payments and projects due the next day. Their lifestyles are different.  Their day involves preparing meals, doing laundry, taking care of their children, and sometimes working, if work is available.  Those that live in the countryside have fewer employment opportunities than those in the city.  Solely an issue of demographics.  This mentality is what often attracts men to women of other cultures, because they are seeking a women that is more focused on them and their needs.  These women are happy to have someone help them with school and self improvement, or just happy with having someone to provide for them. In return, the men are getting the attentiveness of the woman in most cases. This seems to be a win win situation.  It works the same way for the women who have sought relationships with men from the same backgrounds.  I am in this situation, because my wife is definitely caught up in the race and I have tried and tried to recalibrate her attention. I love her with all of my heart and soul, and would do anything for her.  We have had numerous discussions and short periods of discussion after each, back to the same issue.  I need her attention. I respect her career and know that our lifestyle has been better because of it.  The problem is that she no longer has time for me. She is always too tired from working. I have asked her to take a job with less responsibilty, so that we have more time for us, but she refuses.  I cannot and will not wait forever.  If things dont change soon, then I will have to move on, which is the last thing that I want to do. If so, I will be looking for a good women, no matter what her race or culture.  I will just be seeking my needs being addressed.  I have spoken to many of my friends and associates, and many have similar issues.  Many of our women are tired, but it is not their fault, it is because of the fast paced competitive society that we live in today. Where do we go from here, because it shows no signs of slowing,  Ladies, please take a step back and give us the physical, and allow us to give you the emotional that you desire.  Please  exscuse my typos and lack of paragraphs. I got long winded, and I am very tired. I hope that this helps someone.  God Bless!

  • MMatt

    Im’a tell you like this, the D.R. women is all that a real man want and can have there and not so much in the U.S. I mean I love my black women, I was brought into the world by one and happened to have made one as well. I’m just saying in today’s society as far as dealing with women in the U.S. (Philly) to be exact, it can become bs to a certain degree. It seems that it’s all about what can you do for a women, and how much money are you holding and, what kind of job, and are you renting or owning your home….I’m like come the hell on…What the fuck do you got and so on and on….Relationships should be two ways straight down the line….Well enough with the preaching I love the DR and no one is going to stop me from going….The women over there is fucking incrediable….West Philly’s Finest

  • Cola_cho

    Man why is this such a big issue with you Afro Americans.. I am Black but from the Caribbean and to be honest this was never an issue back in the Caribbean.. Like Dominicans women from an early age are thought to take a womanly role in the household on my island.. They aren’t bred to dog their men, they aren’t thought to be lazy asses, good for nothing but popping out a bunch of pickaneenees. I saw some white girls post that because the Dominicana was raised to take care of her man it means she was being bred as a slave.. Hahaha.. What an idiot u are and a total complete joke at’s reasons like that is why I prefer my Carib women over these American women.. Total, useless modern day feminazi’s.

  • Bdwilliesr

    It is not the women’s fault for being the way they are.  The two cultures are so different that we, as men, are excited about the Dominican Republic and other exotic places because it’s new to us. How many of us have been putting up with the attitudes of American women, in particularly black women, for years and years before ever stepping foot on Dominican soil?  The women here will not change their behavior because it’s in their DNA. They were raised in this order, 1) “don’t give up the ass”  2) “take the pill if you give up the ass” 3) “have fun with your ass” 4) “find somebody to lock your ass down”.  This confused the hell out of women so now they release all their frustrations through arguments, attitudes and by having uncompromising character.  The women in the Dominican know how to survive and that the man is the key to her survival so that’s why they do whatever needs to be done to keep that man happy.  I really don’t know if American Black Women will ever change their thought process. In order to do this, it first has to be recognized and with the media and news outlets continually telling them stats and powerpoint slides on their demise, their attitudes will continue to flair and men will seek refuge on the islands.

  • (-: Genesis the Great :-)

     I don’t know nor do I care who prefers whom. I’m not God, so who am i to judge what race is better than another ( Hell, if I was God you’d think I love you all the same).  People are people and you have both bad and good ( notice i put bad first :-D ) in every race. All cultures, like religion have the same outline although slight differences regarding areas of importance from most to least.

     I am a dark skinned AA woman mother of two boys married to a Caucasian/Korean. I was taught to cook, clean and work (work hard). I cook sometimes, I clean only in between visits from my house cleaner. I was an office manager for a dental office. Then I decided to go back to school to become Dentist. My husband is a Dr. I come from a hood in southern california.  According to statics since I had my 1st son at 17 yrs. out of wedlock. I should have had 5 kids with 6 possible baby daddies, no education and on welfare. But because I have always known that education, hard work and a great personality would help me conquer my goals, only my opinion mattered. I knew I would someday live the american dream. Married with 2 kids and a dog. I never let my race or skin color hinder my potential, my dreams, my desires or my life.  I love all men all races, I didn’t let one bad relationship turn me against an entire group of human beings and suggest you all do the same.
     Needless to say no matter what people say you can make or break statistics, I did.

  • Givehelilsweatriceman

    Sounds as if you’re just NASTY.  Look, there’s some of your dirty underwear on the floor, right in your way.

  • Givehelilsweatriceman

    You’re not that mixed up, and not more than Black Americans.  You are Black people who happen to speak spaniish because your particular subjugator was the spaniard. You FAKE it alot and PRETEND that you are something other than Black(like Indio, pardo, Crema, mule etc)

  • Givehelilsweatriceman

    Did your children’s father decide he didn’t want to be around them or he couldn’t stand being around YOU?  Your trainer by your own admission was your husbandless mother who probably ran your daddy off with the same abominable attitude that you inherited.

  • givehelilsweatriceman

    Tae is just trying to get laid, and you’re falling for it.

  • Trutharising

    I’m going to DR, Colombia, and Brazil, but it’s not for sex I just want to date other black women from other cultures, just tired of the same old scene dating black women in the U.S. just want to try something different. I dont have any real issues with African-American women. I’m very adventurous and curious about other cultures want to know how black women think in those cultures. I’m also going to visit the other Caibbean islands to get a perspective on black women. If I had the money I would get 20 brothas from the local hardworking trashman to the white collar professional and we would travel the Caribbean, South America, and Africa from 6-12 months dating black women from different cultures. After it is over, the 20 men would compare notes of pros and cons and then an overall consensus of whether an African-American male is better off dating othe blackk women from other cultures.

  • Trutharising

    “Caribbean” I mean it was a typo I can spell but cant type worth a damn.

  • Trutharising

    but some cultures that’s the way of life from birth to death not in america where you have women who think they can do what a man can do. Believe me when I say this there is a big difference I stayed in Germany for 3 years I saw the most beautiful white women marrying brothas the kind you see in magazines. The only time you see that in the U.S. is when the brotha plays professinal sports. The women here need to get off that womens liberation shit because Im telling you, there are alot of races that want brothas. Everybody knows in the military that Germany is the black mans paradise.

  • Trutharising

    now see i had to come in, princess what you dont know that these women you are putting down many and i mean many have degrees and post graduate degrees so by no means are they dumb. Now these men that go over there are probably having sex with those who didnt have a chance at education. I dont blame any woman from another country looking for financial security, but that man know what she is after, if he chooses to bring her back to the states he takes that risk she will disappear on him when she is here. Game has to recognize game.

  • Trutharising

    i never been around people from the Caribbean or South America im from Texas so i dont have a stereotype it seems like everybody goes to live in the northeast like New York, Philly, and New Jersey. we probably have a handful of people from the Caribbean in Texas and some South Americans. But I would be very happy if some of you would migrate to Texas I’m tired of seeing Mexicans. We need some of that New York flavor here. But for the most part, I dont have any preconceptions about the people im talking about. That’s why Im traveling to the countries and get a real perspective and come to my own conclusion.

  • Trutharising

    Loved that piece you wrote. I will be in DR hopefully in May 2012, but Im not there for sex just wanting to experience other cultures. I guess i brush up on my spanish.

  • Leticia


  • Sherae Renee’

    Black American men are the dumbest, most overrated men to exist! Really, I’m disgusted. ALL non-black American women give them too much credit! I guess us black American women know all the tricks huh?

    Los Dominicanos son f-cking STUPID RETARDS.

    I am AMERICAN (thank GOD!) with Dominican heritage, but I’ve lived in the DR, so I CAN talk.

    75% don’t even know they’re black!


    Moving on…

    I don’t know what make brothas think they have found themselves something “so special.”

    Have you been to this piece of sh-t country? It’s a Third World (no, really). THEY TRYING TO MAKE IT OUT!!! HELLOOOOOOO…??? SANKY PANKY MUCH?

    You’re NO different than Pierre from France or Juang-uon Tang from China. They see foreign they see a MEAL TICKET…a WAY OUT!

    All these sick foreign men come over here to find easy/young girls. All
    you have to do is buy them ANYTHING that is NOT PLANTAINS, PLATANOS,
    YUCA, or any other type of VIVERE for their families and you got
    yourself a sex slave.

    Speaking of slaves…yes, the women here ARE slaves! It’s like the f-cking
    40s here. I think this is ALL of Latin America
    though. I agree, it IS cultural, but this place is SO BEHIND! It’s going to take another 50 years for them to wake up like we did!

    Not that there’s anything wrong with cooking and cleaning, but don’t make it seem as though there is something “special” about the culture. This a a MAN-RAN culture CHOCK FULL of MACHISMO and these women are so docile its creepy.

    There are countless EDUCATED black American women…more than black
    American MEN! And sure as hell much more than Dominican women!

    And watch out, many of them don’t like for their kids to marry “blacks” because it’s not “mejorando la raza,” which mean “bettering the race,” and they HATE the CONCEPT even, of blackness. But then again, you being AMERICAN just may be enough to win the family over. Because ANYONE from America to them is rich.

    Other things I hate about these people:

    Their educational system SUX! Which would explain why they are so f-cking stupid and don’t know their history.

    Ever been to the country? Hell, take Washington Heights as an example: They are LATE FOR EVERYTHING, LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS and GHETTO AS HELL. Hmmm, what does that sound like?

    They are so used to foreign aid, which explains why everyone has their hand out here.

    13, 14, 15 year old girls are out here having babies…but wait, I forgot, that’s completely NORMAL here!…with men OLD AS, if not OLDER than their fathers! Did I mention it was completely legal too?

    Dios mios…

    And the women are beyond JEALOUS.

    This place is a lost cause. I’m glad I’ve lived here to know. No sense in claiming something that I am NOT apart of nor can I relate to! I am AMERICAN and proud of it!

  • Sherae Renee’

    Oh, and no, I’m NOT single.



  • Sherae Renee’

    Not to mention these new marriages that are occurring between black American men and non-black American women are producing DIVORCES faster than it took to prepare for the wedding. Can you explain that? Look it up. Black men need to get off their high horses, seriously. Now I love you guys, my dad/brothers/uncles/cousins/BOYFRIEND are STRONG, good black men (that DON’T come with these stupid preconceived notions/complexes about black American women), but it needs to be made CLARO to the majority of you that you are NOT the last of a dying breed, nor are you necessarily the best.


    la Dominicana-AMERICANA negra.

  • P.G


  • P.G



    I agree with the gentlemen interviewed in the article!!! I am a black man who’s dated black, white, and latino women (domestic & abroad). I have found that women of the latino community, ABSOLUTLEY KNOW HOW TO & GO THE EXTRA MILE to take care of their man!!!!!!!!! I have found that European (white) women have a problem with being true to one man and have a vast lack of integrity. While, African American (black) women of today have a problem with being honest, true, understanding, helpful, respectful, courteous, mindful, encouraging and the list goes on & on………. The bad part about this description i just gave is, it not only describe them but also the daughters they breed. When you do find one that CAN provide maybe one of the listed description (PROPERLY), you have to listen to all the FOUL GHETTO SEWAGE that flows thru those lips of hers the very first time she get’s upset (White isn’t too far behind)!!! If our American women (mainly black & white) would spent more time learning how to cook, clean, WORK, take care of home, take care of their men, learn some self discipline AND teach it to their off springs and less time worrying about what’s going on in Becky’s / Shiquita’s life & stay away from the reality shows & SOAP OPERA’S; they might just be able to LOVE and SUPPORT A MAN PROPERLY!!!!! Sure you have women from D.R. that want out, JUST LIKE YOU WANTED OUT OF THE GHETTO / TRAILER PARK!!! However, the biggest difference is, they show appreciation and gratitude!!!! MY NEXT WOMAN WILL DEFINITELY BE DOMINICAN!!!!!     “CHEW ON THAT FOR A MIN OR TWO”

  • Dee

    wait…Lets stop acting as if black men are running to the alter with this Dominican women. I live in NYC and 95% of latina women that are with bm are in the same boat as bw. ie) oow kids and no ring. So cut the crap. When I start seeing bm changing there ways and actaully MARRYING these women, staying with their families, being in the household actively raising their kids, then maybe i’ll see some of you guys points. Until then…carry on. Talking crap as if someone is supposed to feel threatned as if bm behavior changes with these other women. chile please.


    Uh I hate to bust your bubble but dominicans ARE the culmination of all races of the world into one culture.. Some say its the petry dish for the way the world will look in the future…as for me I hope this happen so we can stop with the bs.. N for the record much of the dominican culture can be accredited also to the TAINO INDIANS which inhabited the island thousands before any other race showed up but yet are erased when convos of the dominican republic…I wonder y?…so please dont post afrocentrist ideas like dominican people are black people such a logical fallacy.. I say that cuz  I am a TAINO from the dominican republic we still here! Que YAYA lo bendicien.. ONE LUV!


    Soo i guess there werent millions of indians inhabiting the island way before any other race showed up huh cuz theirs only two races in this world???…I hate the fact that black and white people feel like their the only ones in this world hate to bust ur bubble but your NOT!.. Dominicans are more INDIAN than anything else..hence why they look they way they do and its deff not like your typical AA woman… With that being said I love all races and feel that not only AA women need to come together but we all do…. We are all in the same boat fighting each other while its sinking…food for thought ONE LUV!

  • Mckenna_jason1

    No relationship is 50/50…..that where black women get it twisted

  • HJKirk

    If you meet a Dominican women in the Dominican Republic – whether you are black, white, European, Russion, anything but Dominican – you bet they will be nice to you and serve your every need. They are looking for a VIsa, a husband, a way out of an impoverished country. Is that true for every singel Dominican woman, of course not. But for enough that you’d better be really careful – not woman always serves her man and never disagrees. If you find that – she’s faking. In fact, Dominican women tend to be very outspoken, strong and stand up for thier rights in just about every situation. If you don’t see that in her in the DR, once she gets to the United States, you may find a whole different woman shows up. Beware. This is true in any situation where you have people from two very different socio-economic situations. I’m ot saying it never works, just go really slow and be very careful.

  • Guest

    If this will calm anyone’s “fears” I lived in the Dominican Republic (albeit Santo Domingo and not the tourist areas) for 8 months and only ran into one African American man. I did visit tourist areas and can’t say I saw any. I know, you think it would be hard to tell, but once you’ve lived there awhile, it’s pretty easy to tell. Facial features, body types, the way people carry themselves and most of all language. It is true that other than resort employees; deportees from the US back to the DR; and upperclass, highly educated people, very few speak English. So, my guess is it’s not quite the “epidemic” that it appears to be here. But it sure has brought out a lot of misconceptions, stereotypes, and general mean-heartedness. It’s sad to read. I learned from my own experiences that we in the US are trained to see people by race – and was surprised to catch myself thinking, and sayng things out loud, in such terms that simply did not fit their reality.  There are a few writers along the way who bring understanding and experience to the table – good to see.

  • ab wright

    I think that it depends less on the race and more on the culture the woman grew up in. please if you have time, check out my spoken word blog:

  • MPAULI12

    Actually its not a joke . My mother is African American and my father is from the Dominican republic. A very accomplished lawyer from the Dominican republic at that ;-) !

  • Jadeimani6

    If you ask me culture def different but Dominicans are black think about your history people. Black men have a complex with skin color. It has nothing to do with cooking cleaning none of that shit! Society has a color complex and men have just took to this concept. You can be black as the night or black light skinned they will always prefer the light skinned women over dark women

  • Raybrownjr

    am tried of black woman running off at the mouth talking shit to there man,here in the in the states they want you to worship them i don’t think so.

  • drturist

    i mean honestly the dominican women are hotter and prettier. they are more pleasant and easier.  they cook better ad they tend to treat men better.  if black guys are going ove rthere on a plane, then maybe yall doing something wrong and yall losing your men and yall need to shape up.  because dominican women just have you guys outclassed. period.

  • Mc2829

    As a Dominican woman raised in the US, I can say that this article is somewhat correct.  Dominican women do the cooking, cleaning because for the most part, as girls, we are thought to do so. About the part where the article says that Dominican women ”give men space to be man”, I belive that reason for that is that those women who live in the Dominican Republic for the most part do not have a job and depend on the man financially; therefore, have to stay home and allow the man to disrespect them by going out and doing whatever the man wants; simply because they do not have the means for being independent like most women are in the US. I feel that this has more to do with men wanting their cake and eat it too than with what women they are with. Not all Dominican cook and clean and take care of do everything for a man if that man is not doing something for them.

  • Tyshir15

    There is no need to generalize here. Not all black women have attitudes and not all Dominican womenare subservient to their men. There is no need to put down black women to justify why you are dating outside of your race. We have enough non- black people putting us down, we don’t need our own race adding insult to injury.

  • Agapios8

    Pretty interesting article. I am Jamerican  married to a black Dominican woman. I’ve dated primarily AA women most of my life (I have a daughter from one) although I also dabbled with the PR and the Somalian persuasion during my dating experience.. I have an appreciation for all those cultures. The young lady Angel made great observations and spoke intelligently about this subject matter and I’ve read quite a few ignorant posts as well. Although Jamaican and American I consider myself unequivocally Black American. What I’ve always found so interesting is many of the Caribbean, Central American, Mexican and even some African American’s is the constant need to find the European blood running through their veins.
    For Latino’s it’s bragging about how some relative grand father or great great grandfather/mother is that Spaniard with blonde hair and blue eyes. PR thinking there little small Island who the Spaniards decided it wasn’t even worth keeping and ceded to America has 3 million inhabitants 1/3 of Dominicans, Haitians, and Cubans. They kill me when they claim to be proud Boriquas better than Dominicans. I’m saying to myself these are the people who’s ancestors oppressed you in many cases had your ancestors as slaves or maids and continue to look down on you. In the case of DR own the resorts that occupy your Island. I live in California and you can’t even get a Mexican, as dark as some of them are and as wide as their noses are to admit that in the southern regions of Mexico an African Saint is greatly admired. It’s hilarious in some cases. Never mind the Jamaicans that try and find cooley(Indian) blood that they can latch on to just to escape their blackness. Let me say when we go to DR they think I look more Dominican than my wife. It’s clearly a brown island no doubt. But I know for sure what I am and what I’m proud of. I’m not bragging about the Scottish ancestors who run through my blood line because I know the circumstances that those relations were created under. My black African Jamaican grandmother was the maid to my half Scottish grandfather’s family. So from a cultural standpoint yes I can relate to the Dominican culture because  some of the foods are similar to what I grew up on slight variations here and there. I love DR and can appreciate the rich history and although I understand some of the history and why many of them don’t want to consider themselves of African decent because of the stigma at one point in their history could have cost them their lives. I love to build with those brothers and sisters in DR who recognize the darker people of this earth in general are discriminated against and aren’t afraid to acknowledge the powerful Haitian blood running through their veins. 

  • Leon Walton

     Love the observation..very intelligent response

  • Leon Walton

     Liv thanks for dropping the science on Juan

  • Leon Walton

     Sciene Miguel..keeping dropping jewels..people trying to run away from their blackness..sad

  • Leon Walton

     unfortunately your wrong..the mtdna gene pool says different most of the population 70+% are of West African decent…Taino’s are def represented but are not dominant…What’s your typical AA women??like someone else reiterated just cultural differences.. very similar gene pool.

  • Peterwebb58

    was married for 20 yrs to a black woman from the us she tlod me for yrs that  she loved me but was not in love with me. After working in tge middle east for 7 1/2 yrs she divorced me I gave everything. meet this dominican woman I can tell you night and day And black women in the US. wonder why we bail out….. I’m gone too,,, new life

  • Lala


  • Jax

    So basically ugly black men are comparing paying prostitutes to regular women in the states? I’m sure any woman would be nice if you were paying them these weak ass bitch niggas act like these women are nice to their ugly ass for free.

    This is exactly why no one respects these clowns, what happen to old fashion getting pussy or being with other women with out mentioning someone else’s name?.
    These Negros literally eat sleep breath black women, no wonder they all depressed they need to get over it! Please date out 100 percent and leave black women the fuck alone, all these Negroes do is cause black women misery seriously.

  • Kborn

    I love
    Dominican Women, They treat u much better than black women, Once u date 1 u will c !

  • yapyapbla

    First of all, Dominican is not a race, it’s a nationality. Second of all, I’m almost 99% sure that woman who referred herself as PR, is not, and in fact is an African American woman. 

    Most Dominican women are raised to clean, cook, etc for their men, period. MOST not all, but the majority are. While MOST American woman are not. 

    By the way I never stated all African american women were uneducated, obviously you are the exception. Most are uneducated and that’s the truth. 

  • Yapyapbla

    Dominicans come in all races. The only one who has color complexes are African Americans.


    Genetics facts? LOL.

    Genetic BS. Not everyone who is mixed with black looks black. What a flawed perception. The one drop rule has much to do with slavery and the fact that European slave owners wanted to keep their slaves who mixed with whites or were raped by whites enslaved.

    The one drop rule got abolished in 1967, do your research before typing, please.


    I call BULLSHIT.

    Anyone who can Google, please type one drop rule dr mendel and you will see this is NOT TRUE AT ALL.

    If you want to learn more about the one drop rule, research, it was created by European slave owners to keep those who were mixed with black enslaved.

    Where is this “Miguel” person getting their crap from? Shit is laughable at best!


    Yes, you’re Dominican..and then you woke up.

    Another African American trying to pass as a Dominican on this board. How pathetic are you people?

  • Morons

    Yes, we are more mixed than African Americans on average we are biracials and so are most of our parents. I’m sorry if the truth hurts you so much, but Dominican is not a race we come in all races. Don’t be jealous that you aren’t. Appreciate your blackness and keep it moving, you’re dumb as fuck. Go on Youtube and search for DNA results on Dominicans and you will see WE ARE MORE MIXED THAN AFRICAN AMERICANS GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

  • LMFAOatthisidiot

    LOL, what article did you read?!!!! LMAOOO!!!!! 

  • Whatpatheticmorons

    MTDNA? You’re going by MTDNA ONLY, idiot. What happened to the YDNA..does that NOT count?! 

    They didn’t even test the whole island. DO YOUR RESEARCH



    Yes, you all have been to DR..that’s what YOU ALL SAY, BS. Just because you’ve supposedly been to DR DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE SEEN THE WHOLE ISLAND ANYWAY.






  • Tertillian

    As a Black man, a Black Christian man, raised by a beautiful strong Black Christian woman from the south, my mother taught all seven of her children you marry for love not because you want someone to take care of you.  She taught all five of her sons, my brothers and I, how to cook, clean and sew because she didn’t want us to be in a relationship for the wrong reason.  My big-mama, her mother, taught her sons the same thing.  She taught us that there are strong women in all ethnic groups and that God only created one race and that’s the human race.  We get into serious trouble when we define individuals based on their ethnicity by our own subjective perception. The characteristics and values that comes from God can’t be defined by our subjective perception nor can one particular ethnic group claim them solely as their own.  Our perception is jaded by our own narrow perception of what we perceive as reality.  Black people here in the USA are not monolithic.  People are more alike based on geographical regions where they live then on their ethnicity.  I know collectively as a people, Black people here in the USA, we’ve experienced the worse form of slavery known to humanity and still have a more challenging row to hoe, but, because of who God is and what He does He has brought this far with a strong hand.  I said all that to say this we need to get over our insecurities and when God sends us that person He has for us love that person whole heartily not because of what they can do for you.  God makes us complete in Him and He’s the only one that can give us joy.

  • Angel


  • Angel

    ok i’ve read some comments : #1 – Puerto Ricans & Dominicans IS NOT THE SAME THING!! That’s # 1. We talk different, cook different in some ways and act different as well  # 2 – it doesn’t matter what race/ ethnicity a person is there will always be the woman that can’t cook and clean right. WHITE BLACK LATINA WHATEVER! i have a white friend she can’t cook, I have 2 Dominican friends 1 can cook 1 can’t I was teaching her how to cook, I know African women that cook their asses off and black women that do the same.. sometimes it all has to do with how women were raised when younger and what time they have in learning how to do things.. I’m Puerto Rican & Nicaraguence EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS I’M Dominican I’M NOT & I’m born here in THE USA & I cook all types of food, very well might I add, i clean till the house is spotless and I cater to my HUSBAND & HIS FRIENDS all the time … I’m a good woman but I don’t take bs and i’m very nice too… it depends on the personality.. people let’s not get caught up with the stereotypes, what might work for one may not work for the other.. these guys just prefer Dominican women –  it’s called a preference - nothing more nothing less,  so if you prefer something of course it will seem like the best to you. Like I PREFER foreign men over american men, and I love dark skin men!! that’s my PREFERENCE… SO THERE YOU GO

  • Angel


    Puerto Rican = white , black & taino indian


  • Angel


  • Angel

    Don’t even get me started on how our dancing and cooking also originates in africa… don’t let me go there… stop pretending people with this shit…. I’m not ignorant I know the deal… so stop being racist people…

  • Carlos

    Hi I am a Dominican man married to a black american woman. The problem here is not about Dominican Woman or African American Woman. this is all about how you were raise and you up bringing. In the Dominican Republic lil girl have to clean and take care of the house. Here in US that is not so commend. When it came to cleaning it does not matter what nationality you are, young woman and young man are very lazy here in the US. A young Dominican woman raise in the US is as lazy as a young African American woman, and I say young because I notice that older African American woman are extremely clean and can cook as good as any other race. I do believe the African American woman take the “BE A STRONG BLACK WOMAN” thin to far most of the time. The thing is the any African American think the being a strong black woman is being like a ghetto man. They fight, curse, and disrespect other, a true strong woman would not put their self in the situation. They understand that a true strong woman is not necessarily STRONG, but smart with the willingness to work hart to accomplish her goals. A black woman acting like a ghetto man, is just a ghetto woman. A woman is a woman, and a woman is suppose to be classy, so why act like a man. My opinion is that black man just want a classy lady, and any man who goes to any country to look for woman is just looking for a prostitute. I am not saying other country are full of prostitute but if you go looking for something you will eventually find it. One other thing is the hair, many African American woman think that their hair is worse then woman from other races but that’s not the case. African American put too mush chemicals in their hair, not knowing that it will just make it look nice for a lil while, but the damage is long term most of the time. This took my wife some time to understand but she took a chance and now other black girl hate on her because she got good hair. She use to think she had the worse hair in the world but now that’s not the casa. Well, in conclusion, African American woman are as attractive as any other woman in the world, but what push many man away is the manly attitude. A good man never look for a ghetto girl. 

  • Let it go

    I have traveled to many countries, and lived outside the united states.  I’m a black man
    and I would rather deal with a woman from the islands or from another country.  Most black women have too much drama.  I like the laid back attitude of island women, and their personality.  And I do like dominican  women.  I’ll be returning next week to hang out.  If a woman knows how to make a man feel like a man, it doesn’t matter what her race is.

  • Anonymous

    I lived in the DR for three years they hate blacks the only reason they deal with blacks is we have a blue passport and money.I took care of a Dominican woman and her family for 7yrs. as soon as she got her visa she left, they only want to get to the U.S. Dominicans are parasite.ALEXANDRA TINEO-ALMANZA is her name.They sleep around a lot.

  • David

    This article is 100% accurate. I have been to the Dominican Republic many times. I was also in a long relationship with a Black woman. But I won’t limit this to just black women. All american women have this sense of entitlement. They refuse to even cook for themselves or clean up after themselves. So why would they do it for their man. The Dominican woman is humble. She has a sense of humility. She is thought of as a bad woman if she does not take care of her man. If you are a woman in DR that does not know how to take care of a man, you won’t have a man. Now there is a flipside to this. The women there are poor. They want money. They want a visa. They can’t be trusted. But if you don’t feed them cheese they won’t turn into rats. But you can say the same for American women. Dominican women can teach american women a thing or two about how to treat your man with respect. I have a girl in DR now that when I visit comes to my Condo, cooks, cleans, and keeps herself looking fine. All I have to do is treat her with respect and make love to her. Not a bad deal.

  • rhian

    Some of these comments are so sad. Love yourself people. 

  • rhian

    the same can be said for the reverse. I get so much love from Latin men its crazy… They treat me very good, but that doesn’t mean I need to bash BM to justify my relationship with one. Nor does it mean I’m booking flights to go find a husband. Its never that serious. Latinos really are not that different from us (not speaking on ethnicity…) its so sad to see black and brown people berate each other in this manner. We are basically cousins. Some of you need hugs and a course on the diaspora.

  • Rhsalsa

    I am one of the many blackmen who have become completely disdnchanted with the American female … I have married several black American women. I have honored, spoiled and given all that has Been expected of a man to be and give, and then some more. These poor mis-guided sisters, will not undefstand until all the good brothers are gone. I have never been to the DR. but I have travelled to Europe and to South America. Trust me when I say this: THERE IS /ARE gaping differences in how women from other parts of the world see and treat men. And many of those women are NOT trying to come to the US of A… Black women use that as a justification to uphold the BS they want black men to keep swallowing! I personally, am very unlikely to ever date anotherfemale /black or otherwise from the US again, and I know more than a few good prfessional brothers who now feel the same way. The white brothers here in AMERICA can have you…. It use to bother me to think and see them with our women… I actually get a little happy now when I see this !! Its someone elses problem now, a little travel and personal knowledge hax been liberating… My money and time are more valued and better spent in other places…. And dontg it twisted… Many of the women in the locations we are speaking about are black women…. They are just of different culture… And they are raised to act, treat and take care of their homes, men and families differently then these “brain washed” soulz here. I will NEVER again compromise what is best for me…. And I willl encourge all men to seek what is unquestionably a much better expedience, for his manhood, his mind and his soul.

  • Lynx06

    AMEN – AMEN… Black women in America are truly lost… they no long understand or even know how to interact with a man. They have been breeding lil boys; and we have been swallowing the BS hook line and sinker. I also have done some extensive traveling in the world; and women are VERY different – and see their roles very differently – even the professional ones in other places. Women in America think they have it right, and they think they know better than others, or what men understand is best for them. Many men unfortunately do not or will not travel – especially Black men; subsequently they will never understand, and never know what they are missing. (( WHEN YOU KNOW BETTER – you won’t except the garbage given to you )) = If cloudy – unpure water is all you ever see / you’ll think it’s ALRIGHT !! But when a clearer / fresher glass is presented to you – YOUR choice will be absolute and final.

    I agree with the post just before this … men in America / Black ? White ? doesen’t make me much difference ! YOU take em. I’m tickled silly it’s your – burden. I can wait… the little time between visiting my Girl in Costa Rica is well worth the wait. It’s not a slight difference – ITS A DIFFERENT WORLD – a different creature…. and sooooooo much better for my mind and heart.




  • Audoetuk

    Ya husbands sisters are ignorant for not knowing that your ancestors could possibly be from the same part of Africa!!! -_- LOL, its not a color thing, its a cultural thing…Speaking from experience, African American women can have some MEAN ATTITUDES, & will get upset when you do not want to deal w/ them for it, like its my responsibility as a black man to do so -_-, to hell w/ that, I applaud you for bein a lady & sticking by ya man, & I THANK God for my African American woman, who does NOT fall under that stereotype

  • KeepingIt100

    Women if 3 world countries tend to do more for their man because they have nothing else to do but that.  They are not climbing corporate ladders.  I have male friends that go over there and from their own testaments, it’s easier.  Those women don’t have the mind set to know they should have more or be more.  They want to get out of their situations, so the first man that shows them different or an american man black or white that comes along they are willing to do all those things.  It all goes back to preference…..

  • Rich

    Responses on this post are laughable – and a sad testiment to the disfunctional state of both relationships and the mind and  EMOTIONS on the issue…. The author asked :: IS THERE A PREFERENCE …(?) simply. nothing more… THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS ! ( MOST OF US PREFER _ ANY WOMAN +FROM NEARLY ANY COUNTRY – THAT DOES NOT HAVE OR CARRY THE demented mental disease of the AMERICAN Woman ) – Period….
    I wouldn’t care if the woman was rich or poor // “Has nothing else in her life to do (corporate ladders to climb / or Not ))

    I for one am completely SICK and TIRED of dealing with the attitudes and misguided perceptions of American women’s concepts of what a relationship is or is not …

    I’m sick of most of you that have penis envy
    I’m sick of most of your “definitions” of what a man is or is not ( Hint: YOU CAN NEVER KNOW – or TELL any real man how to be one)
    I’m sick of the bitchin and complaining
    I’m sick of the way most of you wanna secretly be hoochie mommas
    I’m sick of most of you pointing the “she’s nothing but a HOE” finger at other women; when it’s obvious that 99.9% of you bend over a little further – for the man with the most money – at the drop of a hat… (can any of you even spell : DOUBLE STANDARD)
    I’m sick of your lies  ( “I wear the weave cause it’s easier to take care of … protect my lazy azz from making time to care for the things I should and need too ….)
     Which is central to WHY most of us are sick and tired … We don’t go to other women because it’s “EASIER” — that also is a misguided judgement —
    It’s easier – because most other women have a clearer / refreshing view of how to interact with a man – and we are SIMPLY TIRED of you all BS…

    Don’t get it twisted – As long as you continue to think and act the way you are in our homes and relationships – the more certain you are to keep finding us in exodus from interlacing with you…. THE WHITE BOY”S / and OTHER men   THEY CAN HAVE YOUR – Fat / self righteous azzes…. ( DO YOU REALLY THINK – Your opinions at this point Matter that much any way….)  Peace out!

    El Mundo ! Here I come!  

    Free at last – from the emotional Tyranny that is the “American Black Female frikin Attitude!! ”

  • Dieune99

     As a Blackwoman fro the United States, I understand these men, but D. R. women have not been raised with the same hang ups and pressure of Blackwomen of the North America!!!!!!!!

  • JxMahlum

    The voting poll was split for me, here is how I lay it out:
    Black women are not all self centered, nagging, and want to compete with the man while not fulfilling his needs. Not all true. It is true in a lot of cases, but not all. I had the experience with women who I date (predominately black) have been somewhat loyal or committed if you keep on track with them. Know, I here from black men that same story where after years of marriage, they begin to try and dominate, throw all in your face their problems and want you to rescue them, and don’t cook or clean while complaining about fixing up a dinner is taking them back to the dark ages. However, I had the foruante time to be with many black owmen I have dated, and they seemed to be what Dominican women does according to the article all the way to the top: they are sincere, cook when they wanted to for you, cleaned wen I was over their house. They seemed willign in that matter. So, not all balck women are like that. I noticed its like that with overly educated black women who tend to have a complex where they want to be top dog amongst their man while flaunting in front of other women and at the end of the day start conversations you don ‘t want to hear. But, that isn’t a good summary for all black women.

    Dominican women:

    Yes. Dominican women seemed to be “loyal” in the sense that they are providers for the household, hard working, and they are sincere and take care of their man. They are great wives a lot of them. However, for these black men who travel to the DR and hook up with the women who are present in tourist populated areas, Of course they act loyal, want to cook for you, ad treat you like loyalty. On the flip side, they do that for two reasons: one, they hope through all of this, they can get or convince the man who visit them every year to bring them to enter the US. Two, they only want your money, so of course they come u; to you like that, most of them are hookers in those tourist populated areas. I never see black men or any man in particular travel to rural areas of the DR where the women are more reserved and family orientated who aren’t gonna come up to these foreign men and interested to be “loyal.” Once you take Dominican women to the states, its true 90& of the time that they find another place to live, and they get up, pack their bags, and leave you hanging once they got what they need to send money back to their families at home ,and find another place to settle far away from you. Thats the case for many of the German, Dutch, African American, or any foreign man who thinks they have a shot at a long term commitment to be with Dominican women, These are the kind of women black men seem to find on their travels to the island, women who are desperate enough to fake they want you, but in reality, they could give a s*** about them. However, that isn’t the case for all Dominican women cuz they are hard working, sincere, and loyal. but, not all DR women are that either. They can be nagging and talkative as well. So, can’t rally say black women are a certain stereotype, just like we can’t say Dominican women are all a certain way, cuz they are all not.

  • Whydid Youblockme

    FUCK MEN. You give & give & give to them & all they wanna do is HAVE SEX & MORE SEX, SEX SEX SEX, they dont think to bring their woman a bouquet of FLOWERS or ROSES or ask her if she would like to go see a SHOW or to a RESTAURANT or SOMETHING that would make THEIR WOMAN happy, all they’re thinking about is THEMSELVES. And in the end they fucking CHEAT ON YOU ANYWAYZ. Man please – FUCK MEN – the Domincian chicks can HAVE THEM – ALL of them.

  • Job

    Most black women nag all day don’t work want all your money forget paying your rent lazy and then have the nerve to say your good for nothing but what the fuck your good for laying on there back so thats good enough to keep you around usual black american women weather from the ghetto are middle class it’s the same shit

  • Jess

    This whole post pissed me off .. No nationality or race is better than the other .. PERIOD.. We are all one .. That’s how it should be .. Other wise we are always going to have problems .. Always bringing each other down .. For what ?! .. Doesn’t get us no where in the end ..

  • XxkylaxX

    Lol black women this is how you men think of you Black Love is the weakest smh