Is It OK To Keep Relationship Secrets?

Jan 5th, 2010 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Features
Comments (3)

Yesterday, I wrote a feature detailing 5 Reasons to Admit You Cheated. Judging from the responses I received in my email box, the sentiment on the matter was pretty evenly split. The main sticking point with the majority of those opposed to a confession was the outcome. They didn’t want to be placed in a position where they could potentially lose their relationship (which is an interesting point coming from someone that cheated … but hey, who am I to judge.) At the end of the day, we’re all adults and can agree that the positions on both sides are compelling.

Today, I’d like to take a deeper look at transparency in relationships. Even when we move past the issue of cheating, there are so many opportunities for one to keep secrets from their significant other. For instance, should you tell your man that you went shopping for the 4th time this week, and it’s only Tuesday? On the flipside, is it ok to let her know that you occasionally visit a strip club when you’re stressed so your favorite dancer Hypnotiq can brighten your day?

In both instances there was no cheating involved, but you could argue that your significant other might be better off left in the dark. Which begs the question: are there secrets that you should keep from your significant other? Watch the following video from MSNBC and then share your thoughts below.

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  • http://www.flyguychronicles.com The Fly Guy

    Sorry guys…didn’t realize the comments were off. You can post your thoughts now.

  • Natasha

    Hmmm .. I think that it all depends. Now let’s take your 2 scenarios. If I went shopping 4x and its just Tuesday well if I am just going and didn’t pick my man something up then that’s kind of crazy in between that I should have thought about him once at least. Also as long as it has no effect on my financial stability and security then if I shop 7x and its just Tuesday everything should be cool. I’m working hard to be able to afford some privileges not saying this should be a weekly habit but every so often a splurge here and there is good for the soul..lol

    Now if my man feels that Strawberry is what he needs to brighten his day.. do you just tread lightly. Go ahead get a lap dance and some excitement just don’t cross the line. I see nothing wrong with a man going to a strip club and just like above the same applies as long as you don’t go and then tomorrow need $20 to hold you over we good. There are some things we should share but I don’t feel like he/she needs to know everything especially if it doesn’t effect him/her. If your spouse cheated and you CHOSE to forgive you need to let it go. Let them have that clean slate especially if you decide you can get through that and rebuild that trust but to bring it up again does nothing but keep you at a stand still in the relationship. In my opinion if what I am about to do may effect my significant other in any way … even if it doesn’t but I thought about them before/while doing it then yeah we should talk about it.

  • http://www.youngbrothas.com YB

    Good post fam. Your examples of the guy going to a strip club vs the woman shopping are interesting, not just because they are real scenarios that happen daily, but also prove a point. Both men and women can justify those actions to their friends, yet may not share those same actions they internally check off as being ok to their mate.