Do Men Like Bitches?
Jan 18th, 2010 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: Fly Letters
Comments (99)
Hey Fly Guy,
I have more of a comment than a question. I just don’t understand why some women think that men want to settle down with someone who acts like a bitch? Who started that rumor, because it’s completely wrong. No real man wants a woman with an attitude problem. We may try to sleep with her because we think she’ll be wild and porn-like in bed, but when it comes to settling down, the “bitch” will always finish last. Do you agree, or am I off base?
Cody
What’s up Cody,
I definitely feel like you’re on to something. In fact, you hit the nail on the head. When it comes to settling down, men are more inclined to be drawn to a woman that’s nurturing … not one that’s volatile. By contrast, when a man isn’t looking to settle down, he often pursues a woman who possesses “bitchy” tendencies. Why? For starters, he envisions that she’s probably just as volatile and just as passionate in the bedroom. To him, that’s a turn on—well, initially. But once that excitement wears off, he soon realizes that he doesn’t want to deal with the attitude and the unpleasantness on a daily basis … so he leaves.
Once women begin to understand that their attitude dictates how a potential mate views them long-term, then maybe we’ll begin to see a sharp decline in “bitchy” behavior. Thanks for the letter.
The Fly Guy
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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standing ovation!!!
I hate that word, but I guess it gets thrown around a lot. I have to say that I never thought about it like this. I’ve been guilty of thinking that a man prefers a woman that’s slick at the mouth and has an attitude. I honestly never thought about it from a sexual perspective. I get it now, and I’m glad to know that men aren’t seriously interested in marrying women who act like monsters. Gives me hope :)
Real talk!! So many will say “oh, he can’t handle a REAL woman”. Ladies, real girls are not bitches. Check your attitude at the door.
Or, there will be a shortage of good men when youre looking!! Don’t believe us? Keep on bitchin’!
Any woman that thinks that way is a dummy! Real talk though, they are wild sexually LMAO!!!
I dont know about that Fly Guy. I see a whole lotta dudes with bitches. They seem to only respect “the bitch”.
I agree with Medina.
IDK……..I’ve alot of “worthy” men settling down with BITCHES!!!! Or women with bitch like tendicies. Like Golddiggers, Whores, and Liars!!! I was just asking a bunch of men about htis very same thing. Y do men like to be treated like dirt by women that are not even worht the time of day.
I don’t think you’re seeing the bigger picture … he might like to mess with them, which happens a lot short-term … but rarely will a man choose to settle down with one unless something (like a kid) forces his hand. It’s just not a natural desire to intentionally wants to spend the rest of their of life with someone who acts that way.
I disagree here also Fly Guy. So, I’m one of the nicest people even I know; shirt off my back kinda person as long as it doesn’t leave me cold and will do it for anyone. I started feeling like I was being taken for granted in my intimate relationships with some men; as soon as I started pulling back, not being as giving, not being as attentive and nurturing, they started chasing. For the new guys (bc I keep a circulation or rotation of men to date until I’m in a committed relationshIp), they’re behavior falls straight into ‘chase’ mode. From what I’m told, men love the chase and being “bitchy” is about the thrill of mystery, chase, etc. and excitement and that even after marriage a man likes a nurturing woman but who still can hold her own. What I learned was to have a comfortable balance of both. Being “bitchy” wasn’t about being a bitch as much as it was not over extending myself so much so that I would appear to be a doormat to a man — which he would no longer find attractive. It is also about maintaining ME. Not being SO nice to someone who hasn’t even demonstrated their “worthiness”.
I agree 100% with windycitygurl.
agree with windy
I read the comments and laugh. Women just don’t understand the game. We want a woman that can hold her own. That doesn’t mean she’s supposed to be a bitch. Women think you have to be either or, and that’s BS. A lot of the women that scream about being so nice, they’re probably pushovers and that’s why dudes take them for granted.
@DatDude and FG>>>>> That is B.S. like I said I have seen many, MEN that settle for the BITCH!!! I’m not a pushover, I just let men know how I feel; then they run. I know that I’m a GREAT woman, but u men play too many games, maybe that is the problem. As for me I have my on Def of B.I.T.C.H. …….Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Charming, & Honest. I’m ALL that and more, yet I still end up with a man that expresses to me that I’m not “TUFF” enough for them; WTF!!! If I’m looking for a FUCK that is too easy to find, but will the REAL MEN PLEASE STAND UP!!!!
It sounds like I offended you. My comment wasn’t directed towards you. It’s just a reality that I see all the time. And as a man, I know that we only “settle” for those types of women if we get caught up in something. It’s never intentional, and if it is then something is fucked up in the that dude’s head.
I also think that the men and women are talking about two different things. We’re not talking about a girlfriend, but I think you are. We’re talking about when a dude decides to get married, he’s not trying to marry a bitch. That might be his girl, but I don’t know many dudes that want to spend a lifetime dealing with that.
DatDude, you’re right on point. Caliluv, a bitch is a bitch, no matter how you try to justify it’s meaning.
If guys are saying you aren’t “tuff” enough, what they are really saying is that you might need to stand on your own. Maybe you cry a lot, yell too much, etc? Question: you wouldn’t happen to be a piesces, would you?
No matter what men say, yall do go for the bitches!! @Meech no I do not cry alot, and FYI I stand on my own guess I just haven’t found a man that can meet the standards I have set and I’m a libra…..@Dat Dude I’m not offended just frustrated with “dating”
Hell no!
I can’t stand ignorant, loud, dumb-ass women…..REGARDLESS of what she looks like. That’s one of the reasons I learned and stuck to the principle of NOT getting all bent out of control over a woman’s looks when I was growing up….because it’s been from my experiences that the so-called “fine” women are usually the biggest bitches…..No sense of having a “9″ on the outside if she’s the square root of 2 on the inside.
And I think women go for the ignorant thugs and players WAY more than men go for bitches.
Think about it….most of the qualities women say they want in a man are the EXACT SAME THINGS that Mr. Ignorant Thug Pimp Player Wannabe Who Won’t Ever Treat Her Right possesses. That’s why a lot of good men end up kicked to the curb….we don’t have that “excitement” and that “wow factor” most women want….
If you say so!!!
I did say so. lol
I know what I said to be true because it’s what I see and experience on a regular basis.
I hate it when men and women call women bitches!!!!!!!!!!!! Why not use the word DIVA.
Think you’re missing the point
Did not miss the point. I find that word to be very derogatory.
Stop the Presses! Here is the deal…. Men are the Biggest Bitches! Men Play Games most of the time but they can’t handle being played. Men are the biggest Gos-sippers yet they can’t stand women who gossip. Men Complain and Nag about everything yet they can’t stand women who nag. Men always talk about how a woman Stinks – yet men have the nastiest smells…lol, Men are the first ones to complain about women putting everyone be it family or friends in their business yet men are always putting their business and everyone the sleep with or want to sleep with business all out in the street. Trust and believe the biggest Bitches are men and it was never a woman. Men are never satisfied and men you need to check yourselves, women didn’t become bitches until they dated or married dogs. Even the same guys proclaiming to be good guys have done some doggish things to a woman or female some where or at some point in their lives, when the shit hits the fan and for any man catching hell jut consider it karma, you get back that which you have put out- it just may come back worse than what you put out.
The worst thing about men is they don’t know how to be real, the deliberately complicate things instead of keeping it simple, most say women don’t understand the game, if your a grown ass man still playing games then step your punk ass aside and let grown folk comingle.
Most guys on here those 25 and older stop dressing like some teenage boy wearing ball caps jerseys and hoodies. Your a grown ass man dress like one. Stop talking alll this ghetto talk like swag – peace one – keep it one hundred and all this other bull shit that you seem to think is cool or funny. And for the love of God pull your pants up. I really think sagging pants or pants that hang below your butt is a fag code because you really look like fags.
Stop complaining about women, if you had your shit together and stop sending all these got damn mixed signals to females they would not behave in ways that seem displeasing to you.
Most women as females going back to teen years begin their life desiring relationships with one person without games or agendas, while most males young or not will attempt every trick or game to entice females out of those panties or something else, men especially black men are the biggest exploiters of women or females in general. You expect loyalty from women or females while your out and about giving up that azz to every other female. You expect honesty from females yet you will lie and cheat and do everything in your power to break and tear women or females down. Most males seem to chase women who act like hoes, but then again the women who act like hoes have been told by men that’s what men like.
Men are confused motherfuckers, black men especially, they have traitorous personalities and they know nothing about real loyalties, respect, monogamy or anything about women or love. Men are at best stupid and mindless about almost everything except themselves and the streets
Most men wake up after they have done so much dirt and wrong, after they have slept with 50 or more men and then they have the nerve to only want to date women who hasn’t had that many partners.
What women in her right mind want to sleep with a man that has had so many partners, black men are sexual experimenters and alot of black men are into butt fucking, I mean who wants a man who is into that? I don’t, in my mind if you like azz like that your a fag, if you like licking azz then your an even bigger fag even if you are only doing this with women your still a fag and a nasty one at that.
Men don’t know what the fuck they want that is why the order of things is fucked up now, women need to close their got damn legs and stop making things easy for them and the females who don’t close their legs need to get their azz kicked by the neighborhood females to help aid in restoring things back to order.
Men don’t know how to be men anymore which is why they give each other stupid advice and they treat it as gospel. Some females have lost their way listening to these dumb azz men.
If you don’t like what I say check yourself because your the only one who has a problem with..lol
And if you don’t like it kiss my beautiful black azz
Wow….That was a lot of hatred toward Black men in one post.
Not all Black men are losers like you just described. Maybe you’;re only seeing that in Black men because that is secretly what you desire in a Black man. The real stand-up men out here are always overlooked in favor of the VERY SAME thugs, players, and game-runners that women SAY they don’t want yet always seem to end up with. I’m willing to bet that most women can’t FIND a decent man because they aren’t LOOKING for one and most of them haven’t learned yet that those “exciting” and “fun” qualities they desire so much are usually only found in BAD MEN!
Wake up, already…..If you want a decent man, he’s probably going to be a tad on the ‘boring’, normal side in comparison to the wild, unpredictable men most women are used to by the time they hit 27 or so. Handling our business the legit way, treating women right, and carrying oneself like an adult will often appear as lame or boring to those women whose minds are too small to recognize and appreciate quality men when they see one.
you CAN’T be serious!
Wow….
“Angry Woman goes off….yet again! News at 11!”
Sounds like you’ve been played, burned, kicked around, etc. Now, ALL MEN (Especially BLACK men—we get it) are the DEVIL!
LOL!
LOL.. its always the black mans fault right? lol
@judicial…..Soinds like someone needs a HUG!!!!
not from a man tho.. she might cut him.. LOL
@judicial…..Sounds like someone needs a HUG!!!!
lol, I don’t need a hug, no where in my post do I say all black men, don’t get it twisted. What dumn azz would assume that I or anyone would desire a jackazz over a real man? No where in my post did I ever use the word loser- please stop adding words to my post that aren’t present. and FYI Dogs exist in all races this isn’t specifically a black thing but it is common in the open mostly amongst blacks, in the streets, in movies and in videos- you may disagree but it is the truth. Mr. Third_Of_August please do not attempt to analyze me perhaps your a psychology major- don’t use me as your Guinna pig. I do not find all mature decent men to be boring, those are your words or the words of those whom you sought to be with and perhaps they found you boring, what maybe boring to one may be heaven to another.
Ask me how I feel before you assume to know..lol
The Queen has spoken to all her loyal subjects…lol
If you need to know something ask somebody I am only a phone call away
Not to audience, I will yoke you by your collar before I will ever cut you… but anyways
@ judicial
You might not have used the term “all men” in your post, but you sure did come equipped with a MIGHTY BROAD paintbrush in that post. I will not cut and paste examples because the resulting text would take up all the space I would otherwise use to get MY point across.
You were really goin’ hard in the paint on that post……set the pick and roll, kicked it out for the three-pointer, and all that stuff…..I as a black man didn’t appreciate that, so I replied accordingly.
My reply was not an attempt to pick your brain, and I am not a psychology major. I’m in the Army, actually.
I don’t sag my jeans. I don’t disrespect women. I don’t play games…..I’m only 25, but I am way too grown for that bullshit. And the number of women I’ve slept with is SIGNIFICANTLY less than the 50 you ignorantly assumed we’ve all slept with. And I’m a rather intelligent man, actually.
If women were really going for good men, I would not be single. Or at least I’d be out on a date with one and not up at 1:40 in the morning (here in Korea) typing this.
Besides, for every man that’s fucked 50 women, there are 50 women that allowed themselves to get fucked. If women began SERIOUSLY respecting good men more (not just SAYING y’all want one and then continuing to mess around with Mr. Flavor of the Hour anyway)….watch how many men would go from being Tupac wannabees to Steve Urkel wannabees. lmao
And I don’t think anyone needed to ask you how you feel….You made that LOUD AND CLEAR with that generalizing post of yours. *laughs*
Third_Of_August you seem to think too highly of yourself because you seem to assume that you know my mind set bu you are so far off and in the left field on this one.
Again I never said all black men Never Did I Use The Word ALL. You seem to be reading more into this than what I have said which means that I have touched a sore spot with you. Baby Boy I am alot older than you by decades I wont say how many, you haven’t lived long enough to even be where I am on this one so please stop while your ahead.
You keep adding your two sense as if your directly attacking me so it is more than clear most of what I have said must be exactly what you are, I seem to have pulled your hoe card…lol
A mass majority of men Black or not have slept with more if not atleast 50 females by age of 21. Now perhaps you may lack something or something about you just isn’t appealing. Most females begin a life of dating with monogamy in mind, males regardless of race lie alot. This has nothing to do with women the problem is with guys ( Not worthy of being called men who fit this criteria )
Most women don’t become bitches until they have dealt with dogs.
Don’t blame women for trusting males and assuming them to be honest and upstanding- most are deceptive little bastards – only when they have reached a point of not being bitches themselves is when they want to be foreal but at that point they have done alot of damage.
Many females will attest to this from teens to elderly.
YOu keep talking anout thugs and rappers, the fact that you think thats what all women want really says alot about you – YOU DON’T KNOW WOMEN AT ALL!!!!
spend more time trying to grow up before you attempt to speak on grown up matters
Preach. He does catergorize everything because of his experiences.
@ Judicial
So now I have to get to copying and pasting since you are missing my point.
For example….You said:
“Men are confused motherfuckers, black men especially, they have traitorous personalities and they know nothing about real loyalties, respect, monogamy or anything about women or love. Men are at best stupid and mindless about almost everything except themselves and the streets”
You didn’t exactly say “all men”…..but you sure didn’t say “Most” or “Some” men, either.
So it was OK for you to come in here and make your generalizations on men…..but when someone responds to them, now they’re wrong? Certainly you didn’t think you were just gonna come in here and say all that negative stuff about Black men and nobody was gonna notice?
I respectfully disagree with that.
And maybe I mentioned the whole Black women liking thugs and no-good men because it is a partially true statement from what I SEE and from what I’ve EXPERIENCED with my own two eyes. Nobody’s directly attacking you or any Black women….unless something I said rang a bell, which I hope it didn’t.
If you’re so much older than I am, how would you know what a guy like me goes through in the dating/relationships arena? Things are different now than they might have been when you were 25.
And you’re damn right….I think highly of myself because I am worth it. All of this yakety-yak SOME women talk about how they want a guy that treats women right….how they want a gentleman…..how they want a man with no kids and no drama…..how they want an intelligent man…..Well, I ran through that list and it was check….check….check….and check……
So yes, I think highly of myself. Because apparently, the majority of Black women don’t think I’m worth a damn to them. I’m all I have right now.
And by the way…..you didn’t pull any cards of mine because everything you are saying about men DOES NOT APPLY to me.
I continue to be the ANTITHESIS of every post you’ve made and everything you think you believe about Black men.
Dear Mr. Third_Of_August
I would like to address your questions and concerns…lol
you asked: If you’re so much older than I am, how would you know what a guy like me goes through in the dating/relationships arena? Things are different now than they might have been when you were 25.
Answer: No matter the generation the facts or life are nothing more than repeats the only thing is it’s with different people, you can go all the way before Christ was born, men and women have experienced the same emotions and the same scenarios. You could have answered your own question on that one by reading news papers and or books of past. People still date and marry for the same reasons now as the did back then, people still kill for the same reasons now as they did back then, people still manipulate now as they did back then, everything is a repeat but with age and hopefully maturity you will learn that and it would not hurt to take a few classes in psychology or animal behavior- by the way did you now that Willy Lynch devised a scheme to break slaves from studying animal behavior..
YOU quoted me saying” “Men are confused motherfuckers, black men especially, they have traitorous personalities and they know nothing about real loyalties, respect, monogamy or anything about women or love. Men are at best stupid and mindless about almost everything except themselves and the streets”
Then you said: You didn’t exactly say “all men”…..but you sure didn’t say “Most” or “Some” men, either
MY ANSWER: It was not necessary to say most or some the important key is that I never used the word all. Most women know exactly what I am talking about on this one especially with black males. Every word was true and deep down inside you know it’s true just the same. This is why you feel the need to debate everything as if I am attacking you personally when that really is not the case. I have touched a sore spot with you. Do you know who your father is? Was involved in your life? Did he beat your mother or deny that you were his child? I think you have some identity and acceptance issues and professional help is warranted.
Baby boy, once you learn to love yourself and accept yourself then others will accept you also. I noticed from all your postings that you are very angry – very angry with and towards women. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Was your mother demanding? Overbearing? Did your mother bad mouth your father a lot in his face or behind his back? Did your mother or father ever abuse you?
I mean at first I was going to stoop to your level and say Hey Ever ry Bod di Third_Of_August needs a good Ole Fashioned Azz Slappin and a Hug.
But after really re-reading his post I now realize that this young black male is hurting- he will deny it just watch but he is hurting and he is lonely perhaps everyone should send him kisses and a virtual hug ( nothing else now! No funny business
if you want some attention go to
http:// http://www.tagged.com
You could look like a mutt in the face and they will still give you some play – or hollar or respect your swag or what ever the hell yall young ones are using as today’s cliche’s
You also said “And you’re damn right….I think highly of myself because I am worth it. All of this yakety-yak SOME women talk about how they want a guy that treats women right….how they want a gentleman…..how they want a man with no kids and no drama…..how they want an intelligent man…..Well, I ran through that list and it was check….check….check….and check…
YOUR PROBLEM is from what I can see is that you talk too much, your way too opinionated, if you would stop concerning yourself with what you think other people want and just be yourself and concerned about you and how you will improve you trust and believe some woman is watching you, they get turned off by listening to you babble and complain. No woman wants to be with a man who acts like he hates women and every post from you is a complaint and you called them Bitches.
I could easily say any men who is so displeased with women and act like they hate women must be fags. If your so turned off go find yourself a man, I mean perhaps thats all that you can identify with
Hey do you want me to get all the women in my neighborhood to send you some soiled panties because I think you need a whiff of a woman’s scent, have you been in prison? Have you thought about relocation cause you know really the problem just might be your area and not the women. You know in some areas light skin is in but your darkskinned so move.
You better ask some body- how you like me now…lol
Please do not speak for me. I do not think this way.
And, yes, Third does come off as angry, more than likely it is frustration. Just as you appear to be frustrated.
@judicial you sound like one of those angry women we hear bout all the time and taking your frustration out on third of august just shows how sad a person you are
That was a very juvenile post coming from someone that is supposed to be older than me and “have been in the game longer”. What’s up with all the insults and such?
And since you are now trying to psychoanalyze me based on the 5 or 6 posts you have read from me…..(Funny how you don’t like being analyzed, yet you spent this whole last post of yours analyzing me)…..
I did not have a messed up childhood. My parents didn’t abuse me. I have a great relationship with my mother. I’ve never been to jail or prison. I’m not a thug, and I am not trying to be. What else you wanna know, Dr. Phil?
And I want you to go find where I called all women bitches. Go ahead…..I’ll wait.
I’m an opinionated person because I see a lot of things wrong with the game the way it is right now, and a lot of that wrongdoing is causing me a chance at meeting the one woman I want to be with. I am not the type to just sit back and let people treat me however the hell they please for their own benefit.
And I an not displeased with women to the point where my sexuality comes into question. I still love women….especially Black women. But the treatment I’ve gotten from y’all in spite of that love leaves me with a lot to be desired, I’ll be honest with you.
And nice jokes in your post by the way…..Wake me up when you get to the punchlines. I don’t need Tagged or any site to up my game. I don’t do the whole “swag” thing. That word was invented by rappers and thugs who weren’t intelligent enough to realize that “swag” is just another word for “confidence”. If a woman comes up to me talking about how she wants a guy with “swag”, I’d just ignore her stupid ass and move on to a better (and hopefully more intelligent) woman.
I have no problem being myself and taking pride in who I am. But women, for the most part, don’t respect guys like me and they don’t really seem to be interested in us, either. I stand by that until someone proves me wrong.
One main problem with you is that you view it as a game, so it’s obvious that the females that you encounter treat it as such and just in case you state that you never said it was a game here are your exact words and I quote
“I’m an opinionated person because I see a lot of things wrong with the game the way it is right now,
Stop treating your life like it is a game and you wont be played like one.. I mean the saying goes: Game recognizes game just as a bullshitter can spot another?
Sometimes you are what you attract – if you want better than you have to be better.
You can always decline undesirables without stooping to their level. You call ignorant women dumb azzez but your no better because they have full control over you just by your anger in your postings. Thry have gone on with their lives and your still angry and what they did has affected you and is consuming you and you have not forgiven and you have not let go. Fruit for thought until you do forgive and let go anything that you touch or try to relate in with be toxic. You are hurting and you need to heal.
If you must be angry direct that anger at your fellow man because of the actions of men, women are left to protect, provide and lead the family, isn’t this the roles of men according tro the word of god?
Many adult males are only that..recognized as being adult males, they are not men, they have lost their place in the order of things, they are irresponsible in most all things, cowards at best in many things, they have no real sense of direction, order, loyalty, or sense of family period.
Males of this generation and generations of past seek to tear down and destroy all that they conquer or can not control, most males are selfish at best and yes this even applies to you.
All I hear from you is Me, I , My or I I I stop making everything about you. The world is bigger than you.
The more you open your mouth the more undesirable that you become. YOur cute until you start talking ( Correction! Typing)
Close your mouth and women will seek to find you.
You can’t even be honest and real with yourself that s why your single
It is nothing wrong with having your feelings but the way you express what you feel is what establishes how you will be perceived and treated
Get a room you two!! Neither one of you is completely right. Every relationship is different. Stop generalizing men and women and find a person that makes you happy. Black, white, fat, skinny…find someone you can spend your life with. None of us are perfect.
Gender roles are going out the door like race. Society is getting much more intimate…maybe it’s time to date outside your race or culture to find what you want. My girl is bi-racial (black and white). Black girl attitutde, white girl hair! It works for me!
Back to the original question: no, men don’t like bitches. From the sounds of it, neither do women!! Men can be bitches…we know that.
Judical: you really need to put yourself around better men. Truly, it sounds like you’ve dated some true losers.
Third: Don’t let any woman get you down. If you’re truly the good guy you say you are, know it and roll with it. Get from in front the computer and find a Korean woman and HAVE FUN!
Besides, thugs are going the way of the Dino. Who wants a grown ass man with no real chances of a job, pants sagging, etc?
Bitches and thugs belong together.
@ meech,
well said.
@ third… you really don’t have to defend yourself to anyone, let alone someone as childish as the person you’re going back and forth with. No she is NOT the spokesperson for maturity and respect towards men. I would never talk like that to or about african american men. We’ve all had our share of hurts but that does not give us the right to generalize the sex as a whole.
She sounds like someone who was jaded really bad and needs some attention. You can and will never get a point across to people like that.
@ amia
You’re right….no need to defend myself against anyone. But surely I was not going to let this Judicial person just tango in here and take shots at Black men. I hear enough bullshit about Black men from my very own Black women on a daily basis…..yet some of them continue to shoot themselves in the foot by making poor choices in men and associates.
And you are also right about this Judicial character not being all that mature in her posts or her choices in men. She’s been chastizing MY life and MY choices when SHE was the one who came in here more bitter than Oprah during her monthly cycle and basically exposed herself showing that she doesn’t know how to make good choices in men.
I could have sworn that I already said that I don’t like this “game” the way it is. I also remember saying that I’m too serious for these “games” that people in my age and demographic play. So if I don’t like ‘the game’ then there’s a HIGH CHANCE that I don’t PARTICIPATE in it, regardless of what you think I call it.
I don’t do games. I’m trying to find ONE woman I can settle down and be serious with. I’ve been relationship-minded since I was like….16. Never went through that stage of life where I was trying to sex up as many women as possible. How many different ways do I have to explain this to you?
And I AM being better because I want better. But if people don’t WANT better and if they don’t APPRECIATE better, then right now, it might not matter how much ‘better’ I’m carrying myself…..when the smoke clears I’m still by myself wondering what the problem is.
I express my feelings because that is how I keep from going insane in this world. Surely you don’t expect me to just sit quiet and simmer over everything that comes to my mind. That’s how people go crazy. But I almost expect to be misunderstood my most people because I am very different than most people…..even you have taken the majority of what I’ve posted and twisted it out of proportion to satisfy your own agenda. Six posts into this discussion and you have not offered ONE PIECE of solid, positive advice being an older woman who is supposed to know more and have experienced more in life than I have.
And I’m not nearly as selfish as these posts indicate. But let’s be real here. What else do I have to care about and worry about? Who do I wake up and go to work every day for? Myself. Who do I have to make sure has a roof over his head and food in his stomach? Me. I have no obligations in this world as it stands right now besides myself. I would love to be able to have a woman in my life and do the whole manly-provider-taking care of business thing that real men do……but there are no women right now that want to be in my life…..so until then, I have NO CHOICE to be about myself and taking care of me until that chance arises.
The world is bigger than me, but I cannot control anything else in this world besides what I do for myself. And in the light of this conversation…..until a woman comes along that causes me to shift my focus to her…..what else am I supposed to be looking out for? Myself. If I don’t take care of me…..nobody else is.
And whose level did you stoop to when you called men “ignorant” and “dumb motherfuckers”? I’m just saying. Even though I am none of what you have described since your first post in this discussion and I respectfully have told you so….every one of your replies to me since then has been laced with some sort of slick insult or put-down attempt at my character. But it’s OK for you to name-call and sling dirt, eh?
Judging by that first post of yours….You are just as bitter as you perceive me to be.
@ Meech
It’s one thing to carry oneself as if they were a better man than the generalizations my own Black women have imposed upon me. But it’s a completely different story when I’m STILL completely shunned by the same Black women. Something is not right there.
I appreciate the positive words of advice, but Korean women are a no-go for me. From my experiences here thus far (8 months into my tour here), they are not all that fond of Black men.
Meech be quiet, I don’t have men problems period!..lol In fact I treat men like shoes, when the pair no longer fits I just get new ones NEXT!…lol
Please don’t describe attitudes or hair, no all blacks have kinked hair and not all white women have fine hair- I have seen white gals with nappy hair so don’t get it twisted
You said black attitude – I have seen whites and others with the same attitudes as black females that within itself is not a race issue – many whites have attitudes and some are a mess
Neither of you two no anything about women period …Oh and one more thing… Most blacks in AMERICA ARE MIXED!!! HELLLLLLOOOOOO!!!!…lol
Dumb azz
@ Judicial
Oh…..here we go…..Yet another reason why I don’t have much hope for the future…..I hope YOU’RE not the spokesperson for maturity and respect toward men.
“In fact I treat men like shoes, when the pair no longer fits I just get new ones NEXT!…lol”
You’ve got to be kidding me…..
Judical: this post is all about you BTW. You fit the mold. Those men you are talking about, they know your game. You’re just getting passed around like a blunt. Pump, pump pass. Pumping for pumps and whatever else you can get. Hope you know how to tighten it up after moving from guy to guy.
Third: why just focus on Black women bro? I mentioned Korean because of where you’re stationed, but there’s plenty of fish in the sea! You owe nothing to no one but yourself. Stop chasing the same women. No sense in it. They’ll never be satisfied…and you don’t have to satisfy them.
Meech again I state that I have no problems with men nor do I sleep around nor have I ever been passed around.
Meech your coming to dudes defense like your fucking him…lol Are you two lovers?
When I say that I treat men like shoes doesn’t mean I am sleeping around. I can date a man for years not not give up my goodies but I know your not use to a woman like that
I wish you two the best
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@ Meech
It’s kind of hard to pursue a race of women that isn’t showing you any love.
There you go again feeling sorry for yourself about how the black woman don’t show you no love. MAN snap out of it.
Actually, Qwerty….read the order of the postings and you’ll see that what I just posted was a reply to Meech suggesting that I try Korean women.
I don’t feel much inclined to approach ANY race of woman that isn’t showing me any love. At least I’d be better off sticking to what I’m familiar with until other avenues open themselves up.
@ third jus showing some luv! I used to HATE on all ur posts, but after hearing from “THE QUEEN BIT@#”…..judicial…….You need some LUV!!! But I’m sure U candle handle it HOOAH!!! LOL
@ CaliLuv
Thank you for the love…..I try to tell people that I’m not a woman-basher or a woman-hater. Yes, I get annoyed at some of the stupid things some women do and the choices they make (and later regret) when it comes to relationships, especially when they come at my expense.
LOL @ the Hooah…..You must know a thing or two about the Army, I see.
lol there are some Asian who desire a brother from a darker mother, but most I know of need a green card, so they marry many black military dummies, have a baby or two to secure their future, get back to the states, wait about a year maybe 3 then divorce your dum azzez..lol
Perhaps if you did better with your soul sista’s you wouldn’t be catchin all this hell your going through.
many males take the advice of other male dummies who know nothing about women other than ways to manipulate them through their emotions but if you really want to know about women, or why you are not getting ahead ask a woman trust they will tell you.
Your main problem has already been stated and you ignored what I said, another member mentioned something again it wasn’t enough for you to take notice
Stop being a nag and complaining, man up damn it
Judicial….I know how a lot of women from foreign countries operate…..I’m already aware that most of them are just trying to get to the States on a green card or whatever. You aren’t saying anything new here. That’s another reason I don’t mess with them.
You call it complaining….I call it getting my thoughts off my chest. It wasn’t complaining when YOU came in here slinging YOUR dirt back in post number 14. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, high-speed.
lol this is not about me being able to take anything, you posted your views then I posted mine, you took what I said as a direct attack on you which is wasn’t initially. LOL and for the females making comments about me not being a spokesperson, look dumb azz I simply said many women know exactly what I was speaking of never did I say all…lol
Read what is said before opening your mouths, the problem with most people is that some talk more than they listen, or observations and opinions are shared and it’s always some dumb azz that takes it to another level.
For Example: NWA made a song called A Bitch Is A Bitch, in the song it was clarified that the song does not apply to all women although some women have it in them, in the song a female lashes out as if the song was made for her specifically, before Ice Cube disses the female he again tries to explain what he meant but the female like many of the people on this board keep running their mouths instead of paying attention, the scenario goes from being a statement in general to an actual attack.
I made a basic observation that is clear to mean and my statements really got boxers and panties in a twist…lol
This is how I know this blog is frequented by children or shall I say young adults trying to carry on as older adults.
I will take my comments else where – I have no desire to debate with adults with mindsets of children.
Tootles!
lol
“This is how I know this blog is frequented by children or shall I say young adults trying to carry on as older adults.” Sounds like a self-description to me.
And the statement where you refer to “the females making comments about me not being a spokesperson” as “dumb azz,” is further evidence of your personal issues and speaks to a level of ignorance on your behalf.
I am praying for you.
“LOL and for the females making comments about me not being a spokesperson, look dumb azz I simply said many women know exactly what I was speaking of never did I say all…lol”
Yeah…..those same women that aren’t agreeing with you right this second on this very site, right? Before you try to rally the troops, try and make sure they’re actually on your side first. Better yet….make some sense when you post and quit the double-talk and the going back on your word.
How the hell was any decent Black man supposed to read what you wrote in post number 14 and not say something? You are just trying to make this a personal issue because I am probably the first and only man that has stood up to your BS propaganda.
You say you’re much older than me and you don’t like thugs, yet you quote Ice Cube and an NWA rap song to try and prove your tired points…..Really, now? Mature my ass…..Even I don’t quote gangsta rap when trying to prove a point, and I’m 25….
And if that was your last post on this site….Deuces! Good riddance.
Judical: you’re truly about as deep as a puddle of water.
On one hand, I kind of feel for you. It’s apparent you’ve been hurt and now, men are…well…I have no idea what you think of men. I kind of feel like you want to set fire to any man you see.
It’s just way too much.
Drop your bags, let that luggage go.
…..or do the usual and keep carrying it. I just know one thing, dating you would be a part-time job.
and Third:
You have to get out there and GET SOME ASS! From one solider (now out) to another, it sounds like your deployment has your morale down. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, women will never find you attractive if you come with luggage as well.
…also understand that we all go “through it”. I don’t care who you are or how you live there’s nothing easy about relationships.
lol…GET SOME ASS. At least I was polite.
@ Meech
I don’t think anyone’s going through what I’m going through right now. And if they are, it must not be that bad because it seems like most of my male peers are happy despite the overall lack of quality women in the military.
As far as the getting ass comment…..No comment. It’s about more than just that with me.
Yes some do…I’ve seen it with my own eyes. SMH
@Third…. I feel exactly where ur comin from. I have that same sentiment about men. yeah I know a lil sumthn bout the army.
Third_Of_August I keep getting emails regarding your dumb azz post. No my intent was to leave it alone but it seems as if you haven’t had enough yet. Let me put it to you this way, the reason that your not getting anywhere with women is because your personality too closely resembles a bitch and I quote that is what this topic is about sort to speak. I don’t even know you and nothing about you seems masculine…NOTHING!
NWA is from my time, I have listened to rap just as many others have, I may not agree with the words spoken in some songs but some songs mimic real life situations. My example was perfect, one thing is being said and someone else takes it to another level, adding things that were not said or taking general observations as if it were personally spoken to them..
I mean you nag and complain and whine about everything Third_Of_August. I mean isn’t that relative to characteristics of a bitch according to men? Well my Dear you fit the profile perfectly. I really do think that you are a sissy.
And one more thing, I do not need validation from any female on this board, I did not come here looking for troops as you say..lol I don’t need to prove myself to anyone here and could care less what your opinions of me are..lol
You need to make friends with masculine males and hopefully some of that masculinity will rub off on you. Or maybe your lacking in another area and the word got out and your on the no tag that azz list…lol
Got anything else smart to say? You don’t want to get me started.. Really you don’t
Judicial…..There’s an option where you can turn off email notifications whenever people post on this site.
Nobody forced you to come in here and respond to everything I’ve posted. That’s YOUR option and YOURS alone.
As for the rest of the garbage you posted…..I will not dignify that with a response. I know where I stand in life, and you do not know me well enough from behind whatever computer screen it is you’re sitting to try and (ONCE AGAIN) analyze me.
Just because a man has opinions and actually chooses to express them doesn’t make him a bitch. I suppose I should be acting all rough, tough, and gangsta like the rest of the no-good dudes that YOU YOURSELF have already came in here complaining about?
And I think you’re quite the bitch, yourself, since you decided to take it to that level. If what I say bothers you that much, quit fucking posting to me and quit fucking replying to my posts. Plain and simple. Because I’m gonna keep doing me regardless of what ONE BITCH thinks.
rest in peace @ judicial in memory of her royal trashness
Judicial….I don’t know who pissed in your Corn Flakes recently, but you need to chill…..Seriously.
I will not be your punching bag for whatever frustration it is you have with Black men. If we’re that bad…..go find some other race of men to be with. Nobody’s stopping you.
@Third_of_August…Most of us like debating with you. Please stop responding to this woman. Don’t stop being the gentleman that you are. If I call recall I have never known you to call or type someone out of their name. Never let someone take you out of character. You provide insight from a different perspective. We may not agree with your perspective nevertheless it is your opinion.
@ Qwerty
Please believe that my posts to that character will be limited from now on.
But I think it’s safe to say that this recent discussion is (yet another) case in point why being a gentleman and being a good man doesn’t mean jack shit to women these days.
That’s been one of the main points I’ve been driving home ever since I was 14…..lol
Qwerty, you can say that again! LOL
And Third, to your comment that “But I think it’s safe to say that this recent discussion is (yet another) case in point why being a gentleman and being a good man doesn’t mean jack shit to women these days.” Please re-read what Qwerty wrote: “Don’t stop being the gentleman that you are.” Clearly, being a gentleman does mean something to real and mature women. You will allow the way you speak to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
@ Bella
I wouldn’t say I’m thinking or talking things into existence so much as I am just making an observation based on real-life treatment from real-life women.
What upThird. Hope all is well with you and yours!!! I have a question for you, b/c despite some of my posts I do enjoy ur P.O.V….with that being said; I’ve been just a Fu%^ Buddy with a man that I have true “fellings” for, since about July of last year, (this is my first time in this type of situation) and iIhave expressed to him how I feel, i think he feels the same way but he keeps telling me that we are on a “different page” but, we have lots in common. and when we’re together the chemistry is OFF THE CHARTS!!! I just wanna know what gives? Am I playing myself or what!?! Please help a sista out!!!!
Your Online Battle Buddy,
CaliLuv
@ CaliLuv
Everything’s everything over here. I’m secretly very pissed off about some things at the moment, but I am acting like I’m not.
As far as you and your FWB go, I think you should sit down with the guy (and, like, not on a bed or sofa, either…..lol, just kidding) and just ask him where he thinks the two of you are headed. Ask him whether or not he sees the relationship as one of convenience or one that might have potential to grow into something more. His answers should tell you where his mind is.
I guess that’s all you can do for now…..I’m not very good at the whole FWB thing since I’ve never been in any relationships that actually mattered.
@Third Thanks for the input….but I did let him know how I felt earlier this p.m. and it ended with me in tears, he just wants to remain friends. So I’m soooooo done with letting a man get close to me Ima jus focus on me!!!
Keep ya head up!! and no matter what your going through you should never fake it!! say what’s on your mind!! shout to Mary j blige for that one!!!
@ CaliLuv
Hey, now….don’t give up on men because one of us wasn’t on the same page as the one you wanted to be on. Please…..don’t become one of these man-hating lesbians that are all over the place here in the Army off of one bad ending to one relationship.
There U Go!!! That is why and luv and can’t stand ur posts all in the same breath!! First off I LOVE THE D!!! Second WTF is up with this “on the smae page!” crap that you men keep using as an excuse to not commit!! But it’s all good; after ‘ol dude DISSED me I got asked out on two dates,THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
AT EASE, SOLDIER!!!!!! LOL
@ Cali
Hey….I never said I used that “on the same page” stuff to cop out of commitment. Hell, I actually WANT to find a woman I can commit to. I just need some kind of cooperation from whomever this woman is.
And as far as that lesbians in the Army thing goes….I was just once again making a statement based off of what I’ve encountered so far in the Army. I have yet to meet a decent woman since joining almost 18 months ago.
I see this is a very very great topic and im at work unable to read all the comments just yet but this runs threw my mind all the DAMN time. Maybe it has been brought up already but someone respond to this im Hoping to get MEN’s feed back on this one but…… WHY IS IT THAT A GUY WILL BE WITH THIS WOMAN AND THIS WOMAN TEACHES YOU HOW TO TREAT A LADY, SPEND TIME, HOW TO COMMUNITCATE AND LAUGH WITH THIS WOMEN ONLY TO LEAVE HER AND FIND THEE MOST SCANDALES, RUDE AND THE WORD THAT HAS BEEN USED IN THIS LETTER “BITCH” AND TREAT HER LIKE A QUEEN? like come on ? Why do you treat the ones that treat you good like they dont matter and then go and worship the ground this HOE or Bitch walk on ? its an on going process i see and what is it that can be done about it ? Thats cold, Then by the time a good guy comes around we’re hurt and dont even want to be hurt again so we dont even bother with them. WTH(what the hell) real talk have anyone heard of “Role Play” because is things are going well why not PLAY the Bitch for your man if he likes that sort of thing…..
@ NaturallyJay
I can’t accurately answer all those questions you asked because I’m not one of those guys. I’d love to actually be able to worship the ground a GOOD woman walks on. I would love to be able to have a woman teach me how to treat her and still be able to carry on a relationship at the same time.
Basically, it appears as if you and I are asking the opposite sides of the same question: “Why is bad rewarded and good ignored?”
@ Third,
Hey how r u doing? hope all is well……Yea i see that this is a question that might not at all be answered then. It just sucks major A#$. I get questions like well if you are a good woman why arent you taken then….. Well im not going to settle for guys thats gonna treat me like shit. and im not going to just treat a asshole like a king. I can wait till Mr. Right stop playing around with stupid females and stop with the games.
Things like our question makes you ask another question like …..is that why people change to become bad to get that Good Man/Women ? (Maybe i should become a bitch to get the goodone it seems that, that is what they want.) sucks major a*$ :(
@ Naturally
You know, I sometimes wonder the same thing….What’s the point of being a good man if I have nothing to show for it. All I seem to get is a bunch of women that aren’t otherwise interested in me telling me to keep being the good man that I am……followed by their *bold* prediction that I will make some lucky woman happy some day. While they go out and continue to be the UN-lucky woman and messing with Mr. You Know Damn Well He Ain’t Shit…..lol
LMAO @ “Mr. You Know Damn Well He Aint Shit…”
your a goof for that one. That just lets you know that they arent ready…then there is the “I dont want you now and then when your happy with someone else i want to be with you ” comes at play. F*%k I really hate things just dont go right. Some times i just dont get it or I do get it but just dont want to except the fact that we ( as people ) make things so damn difficult.
Third … I bet ( not sayin Stalker type) some chick is out there watching you but just afraid to talk to you. Maybe your looking over her like many ( in your words ) are looking over you. Im sure you will find your special someone. Or she will stop waiting for you to look at her and come get you….lol
@ Naturally
Well, I’m not sure if anyone is actually paying me any attention around these parts. Would be nice if I had a sign….a hint….anything. lol
And I rarely overlook women…..My eyeballs and my brain cells are always in motion.
@ Third…..
Well give it some more time. God will bless you with that special someone soon.He is just molding her right just for you. And with that said …… GOOD MEN WHERE THE HELL ARE in LA? Geesh i need to ring a GOOD MEN ALARM for good men to hear…lols
So how is Korea ?
@ Naturally
I wish I knew what I was supposed to be doing in the meantime while I wait on whomever this woman is to appear out of thin air. LOL………..seems like everything I’m doing to get myself ready for that even isn’t working. *Shrugs*
Korea is OK. Better than it was back in July-August when I first started posting on this site. I’m considering staying an extra year here (mostly because it’s a smart career move), but it’s going to come at a HUGE disadvantage to my personal and social life. I don’t see myself getting any closer to that goal I set for myself in terms of finding a decent woman while I’m here in Korea. Or in the Army, period, for that matter.
Hummmm Well thats good that your doing better. Well if its going to better your career then do so STAY but if your concernd about having a Life which some people are ripped of then get out cant you reinlist after staying out a year or do you have apply back to back ? ionno how it works but you only know you and what you want to do and make of your self. Regardless you should make you happy thats the important part.
@ Naturally
As far as reenlistment goes, if a person wanted to make a career out of the Army, it’s better if they reenlist while they’re still in versus getting out and having to go through all the motions again.
I think the key to my happiness is me relaxing, taking everything for what it’s worth, and not getting wrapped up in finding a woman. In fact, I think I need to call off that search altogether for a while, but I’m always afraid that I won’t get anywhere if I’m not actively searching for her.
And that is probably the best way. It’s the way I am going with it, anyway. I am not looking for it. I am just going to be me and enjoy life as much as possible. If someone does come along, I am not expecting it to turn into anything. So if they act up, I will just get away from them…no feelings or anything. If you stop actively searching and trying to date, you will see people how they really are without the facade and games that come with “dating.” The way I feel about it anyway.
That’s pretty much how it’s going to have to be…..F*** everyone else and just worry about myself.
The Good Guy in me is dying a slow death, indeed.
I agree with you Bella, and Third dont jump so quick to say F**k it !..lol yes Worry about you and do for you but geeesh dont let the good guy die….Then you gonna become the man you dislike to get a woman who probable still wont treat you as good. Just focus on makin “Third” happy and you will find someone that wants to do the same.
“Good Guy Goon Bad. ” thats all bad !!
@ Naturally
*Shrugs*
I’m going to try and be a little nicer and more positive about the situation….but I will also be the first to tell you that your fellow women aren’t giving me any reason to be nice to them these days.
Third,
You dont have to be nice to all of them. To be honest some women dont deserve your time or attention but i dont expect you to be rude you know. Like stated before do you and treat you good as long as your happy you will be fine. :) and your in korea in the service you should be enjoying yourself making the best of every moment. ive been doing things so much with my sister and now that i hooked her up with this guy its no more me and her and i now have to learn how to do things on my own until i find my partner in crime if i dont want to be a part of a threesome (no lesbo ) lol so yea if i had the chance to be out in another country i will be enjoying the culture exploring you know : )
@ Naturally
It’s easy to explore Korea. The place is only about the size of Indiana. I’ve been here 9 months now, and I’ve pretty much seen well over half the country.
And I should mention that Korean culture isn’t particularly fond of Black men. Neither are Korean women. (Not that I was ever trying to hook up with any of them.)
But then again, I almost don’t know any culture that is fond of Black men. At least not Brothers like me.
@ Third,
lol….lorl(laughin out really loud) but geesh i kinda dont know what to say on that one you kinda got me stomped. I believe the “Brothas” as you may say has just gotten a bad rap just like black women “Sistas”..lol but we just have to weed them out ya know. im sorry to here them Korean people havent been treating you right : ( not coo at all.