5 Reasons Not To Admit You Cheated

Jan 19th, 2010 | Author: | Category: The Chronicles
Comments (7)

It’s time to revisit last week’s scenario:

You just woke up and found yourself in bed with someone other than your significant other. Having realized the gravity of your mistake, you now find yourself at a defining moral crossroad. Should you come clean and admit your indiscretion? Or should you keep it to yourself in hopes that the truth is never revealed.

After detailing the reasons that you should confess last week, it’s time we explored the other side of the coin. Here are 5 compelling reasons to keep your mouth shut.

1. They cheated first.

My bible has always said, “do unto others as they have done to you.” Ok, maybe that’s not exactly what it says, but the moral code does apply in this situation. As far as you’re concerned, there’s no need to make a confession if they have secrets too.

2. It will forever be used against you.

Once you confess to cheating, you’re essentially handing over the ultimate trump card. Expect this card to be pulled out whenever an argument isn’t going their way. It will probably go down something like this:

You:“I’m tired of you not washing out your cereal bowl. Don’t you know how hard it is to clean up Fruity Pebbles once they’ve dried? Why won’t you listen?”

The response: “Why won’t I listen? No, why won’t you listen to your conscience when it tells you not to cheat on me?”

How do you respond to that? You can’t.

3. The relationship will end.
If they find out you cheated, it’s over … period. There will be no apologies; no making things right; and no singing “On Bended Knee” outside their window in hopes of forgiveness. Your significant other will give you the boot, which essentially makes your confession a relationship death wish.

4. They don’t want to know.
The term ignorance is bliss applies to two things in life: R. Kelly’s position on adult literacy, and your significant other’s stance on cheating. Truth is, they honestly don’t want to know that you cheated on them. In their mind, the problem should be fixed without it interfering with their “perfect” world.

5. The relationship will change forever.
An admission of guilt will undoubtedly change the landscape of your relationship forever. Now you may be able to regain their trust over time, but an indiscretion like this will never be forgotten. So don’t be surprised when your late night runs to the Waffle House are met with skepticism, and don’t take it personally when you’re questioned about the security code on your phone. Things like that happen once you spill your guts.

The Fly Guy Moral: Now that we’ve examined both sides, it’s time to state the obvious: “If you never cheat, then you never have to deal with this issue.” It’s as simple as that. So the next time you contemplate cheating with a coworker or with Bobby Brown after the club closes, first think about the possible outcome. Then ask yourself, “Is a night of passion really worth losing everything that I have?” I’m sure you’ll realize that it’s not.

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  • msbliss

    I absolutely HATE cheating! I think cheating only happens when there’s a leak in self esteem in the other partner. U can blame ur partner for this or that But ur happiness is UP to you & how you deal with it is ur responsibility. If the love is gone or u feel ur partner can’t change the things you don’t like MOVE ON.
    I know all men will eventually cheat & I’m open minded enough 4 my man 2 come 2 me & share his feelings. I believe @the beginning of a relationship infidelity should be discussed & not shrugged under the rug. The lying, sneaky, & low down behavior is very heartbreaking & will dampen a persons spirit about love.

  • Blessedbriliant

    You make excellent points… the ending is best though because if you never put yourself in the situation by cheating you never face the dilemma.

  • http://www.youngbrothas.com YB

    To some people, the temporary lack of common sense allows them to cheat, and throw away a good relationship. If you end up cheating, you have to realize you are jeopardizing all you have with that person AND you are now taking the future of the relationship out of your hands.

  • http://sinfullyo.blogspot.com/ Sinfulℓyo

    ughhh. this post just pissed me off lol. he wasn’t my man but i was dealing with this guy and it was quickly leading to a relationship until i slipped up with my at the time booty call [smh]. i’ve always been the poster child for honesty so i came out and told him the next day and his reaction was typical: i don’t want to talk to you anymore. distraught isn’t even the word to describe how i was feeling. we ended up “working things out” which was code for things would never be the same again. there was never an official “us” because he didn’t trust me [ironic, eh?] and he did his college football player thing and whored it up. after his infidelities came to light we called it quits and during one of our many “final” conversations this mofo said to me “you shouldn’t have told me. we’d have been married by now if you hadn’t…” men are ugh. i truly don’t understand how my being honest [in many situations] always gives me the short end of the stick :/ i’m about to just take up lying!

  • cardiana29

    I think that being honest is number one in the relationship. Every one messes up sometimes. Cheating is wrong but it is better to talk about it instead of lying. Lying just makes matters worse.

  • Charles Fortier

    My ex lied to me about cheating, but the lying only served to frustrate me even more because i had that “gut feeling”. It’s one thing to cheat, have overwhelming guilt, and try to make amends. There could be a chance at forgiveness. But when I was lied to for months, and uncovered the truth myself…well you just turned what was one your strongest ally into your worst enemy. I’ve made it a point to make her life hell. Maybe it’s petty, but you try being cursed out when you ask a partner if they cheated and you later find out they lied while looking you dead in the eye.

  • Jimmygreaves


    Your comment is the typical self-justifying garbage of the guilty cheater. perhaps if you hadnt f**ked your booty call when you were already involved with someone else (with whom you were ‘quickly leading to a relationship’) none of it would ever have happened? Your post smacks of negativity and blame of the things around you – the guy you were seeing (who went and ‘whored it up’), men in general (‘men are ugh’), the world not rewarding honesty (‘being honest always gives me the short end’).

    You might make the counter-argument that you weren’t ‘official’ when you slept with your booty call, but if you and this other guy were approaching a relationship you should’ve known it would matter to him. there is such a thing as emotional infidelity.

    You only have yourself to blame. Either you accept that and learn from it in future or you can stay angry and continue blaming everything and everyone else.