Don't Love Me Like Jodeci

I was scrolling through my iPod this morning and stumbled across Jodeci’s “Cry For You.” Now I have to admit, when the song first came out, I thought it was dope (even though I probably wasn’t old enough to really understand its meaning.) But after a quick listen today, my perspective on the quality of its message has officially changed. In fact, the last thing that I EVER want someone to do is to love me like Jodeci. Let’s take a look back at some of the lyrics, so you can understand where I’m coming from.

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The Lyric: “It’s been an hour since you’ve been gone, and that’s too long so come back home.”

The Fly Response: “What do mean come back home? I don’t get off work until 5:30.”

Point #1- I Can’t Spend All of My Time With You

I understand that you can love a person so much that you hate it when they’re away … but there’s a limit to that type of behavior. If a significant other can’t function without you being there, then it’s time to start listing them as a dependent on your taxes. I mean, that’s in essence what they are, right? … a dependent.

Listen; I can’t stress enough the importance of having your own identity. That continues to be a critical ingredient in a relationship’s recipe for success.

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The Lyric: “Without you baby, I feel worthless … I’m living on the edge.”

The Fly Response: “Was your self-esteem this low when we met?”

Point #2- Low Self Esteem Will Never Be Attractive

A person’s self-worth should never be directly linked to your place in their life. If that’s the case, then I suggest you either leave that relationship, or encourage them to search within themselves to discover their true value. Once they do that, I’m sure they’ll begin to understand that their worth has nothing to do with you. And if it does, then that’s a big problem.

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The Lyric: “I can’t think without you, my mind is always with you.”

The Fly Response: “So basically what you’re telling me is that you’re on the verge of getting fired.”

Point # 3- If Being With Me Makes You Unproductive, Then I’m No Good For You.

I never want to hinder someone’s productivity … and neither should you, since that’s not what relationships are about. Relationships are about inspiring and bringing out the best in each other. Many times though, we fall prey to relationships that trigger the exact opposite. Suddenly our dreams no longer matter as much, and we believe that we’re ok as long as we have that “love” in our life. But that’s not love … that’s stupidity.

The Fly Conclusion: Let me just say that even after this piece, I remain a fan of Jodeci and their contribution to music. But I wouldn’t be doing my job, if I failed to point out unacceptable relational behavior when I see it.

Now that I’ve shared my thoughts on “Cry For You,” I need you to re-listen to the song and share your thoughts.  Have you ever been involved with someone who exhibited similar traits? Or were you the guilty party? Let’s talk about it.

The Official Video