Comments on: Can An Ex Ruin You For Other People?

By: Goitseone

Goitseone — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 21:36:48 +0000

if they have to ask, then they did not ruin you. its in your tears that find their resting place in their hands and are seeds to their own tears- shed for you. if they have to ask, then they did not ruin you, dangit!

i dunno. THE TRUTH: yes you did if they did. no you did not if they did not hit the mark.
there is one man i owe a “thank you” to: he ruined me. he exposed me to the bottomless depth of self expression-: a PRESENT he gave me with no strings attached – a selfish GIFT he gave himself. now its all in the PAST and im glad to leave it there. and now for that overdue overture:
thank you MPHO (translated GIFT).

By: DPLATYNUM1

DPLATYNUM1 — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:33:13 +0000

I will be the first to admit that I was ruined by a past relationship that made it hard for other bruthas to come behind that person. I felt that I gave the best of me and it went unappreciated so why not indulge myself in what pleased me the next go round. My happiness was all that mattered and was not to be compromised. Having that attitude caused me to lose a great friend and someone I could easily say was “the one that got away.” But i took those experiences and used it for the better. I’ve learned that I can’t fault the present for my past mistakes, I have, however, learned from them and I am still learning. I take things slower and am more careful now. That is the key.

By: Lee baby

Lee baby — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:48:45 +0000

I’ve had a bad breakup & i didn’t want to open myself up anymore. I don’t feel i am ruined,just more guarded with my time & affection.

By: Denisha

Denisha — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:50:51 +0000

I have been heartbroken but I always get over it and move on. Being ruined by someone is accurate for some guys I have met. They refuse to love again. I think they won’t allow themselves to feel the pain and let themselves heal because it hurt too much so the only person ruining them is them. But I have seen a dear friend finally get over an ex after a good 10 yrs. He had initially said he didn’t know how to love and whether he could love again. I told him I disagree becauss I saw in him every single day. The day he let his wall down (his words not mine) was a lovely day.

By: CurlyScorpio

CurlyScorpio — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:27:44 +0000

I don’t believe anybody can ruin you. Only you can ruin yourself. Every heartbreak can hurt for the moment, but you grow from it and move on. If you’ve loved someone and it ended in heartbreak, I’m a firm believer you can just as easily love someone else. Everybody I’ve loved, I’ve loved differently. Not one man has damaged me for the next because I don’t go into any relationship thinking the guy I meet is like the last. Everyone has a clean slate and total control of whatever judgement I may make of them. I have no regrets, resentment, or hostility towards any of the past relationships I’ve had. I’m thankful to every guy that has cheated on me, loved me, made me laugh, cry, comforted me, or abandoned me because I grew as a woman and learned who I was, what I can be, what I want, and what I wont settle for. For every bad time I might have shared with a guy, there was a good time and for that I am thankful for.

By: lischonurmind

lischonurmind — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:32:31 +0000

While I personally have never experienced heartbreak (what can I say, I am blessed LOL) I have seen the effects that a break-up can cause in a person and how it “ruins” them. I think this is a topic that definitely needs to be discussed alot more. Especially to men. Everything happens for a reason and just becuase one woman left you does not mean that you wont ever find happiness again. I have went through this with my current boyfriend (it will be 5 years for us next month) and I still think that he deals with this issue from time to time. FLyGuy I love your website because it touches on alot of topics that help me and my boyfriend otu and since alot of men DO NOT go to therapy your site is a great substitute

By: msbliss

msbliss — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:22:46 +0000

I have had many up & downs with my current partner & when we hit our lowest I defintely felt that “ruined” feeling. Like damn, I will never do this shit again lol. But everyday I chose 2 love & tell myself if it doesn’t work out just learn from it & be brave enough 2 love again cause it is a matter of BRAVERY to love again after being deeply hurt. Also u just have 2 realize the other person is just human & maybe their mental just wasn’t right nothing 2 really hold against them just learn & grow from it. No1 will ruin me,cause no1 has power of over & it only makes me better.

By: Third_Of_August

Third_Of_August — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:30:24 +0000

I can’t say any woman has ‘ruined’ me, but the grand combination of my life experiences has definitely shaped my oh-so-sunny disposition about ‘the game’ and how much bullshit it encompasses. lol

By: Jade

Jade — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:31:42 +0000

Ruined is such a harsh word. It sounds like you’ll never be good enough for somebody else. A damaged heart is never un-fixable, the person just has to be open to trusting someone with their heart again. If a guy ever asked me if I was ruined by him I’d think he was so full of himself. A person only has as much control over you as you give them. I’ve learned that its best not to dwell on heartbreak, you have to allow yourself time to heal and move on. There is nothing wrong with being cautious in future relationships, but you can’t allow that one a**hole to stop you from being happy because chances are they are happy and not thinking about you. A person that really understands heartbreak is only able to be a better lover/friend in future interactions.