3 Signs That You've Been Single Too Long

Oct 1st, 2009 | Author: admin | Category: The Chronicles
Comments (13)

You can always tell when a wild animal has been trapped in captivity for too long. They all possess this glazed over look in their eyes … it’s a look that says “I’m trapped, and have officially given up hope of ever experiencing freedom again.” That same look applies to single souls who have given up hope of finding true love. What’s unfortunate in many of these cases is the person is unaware that they’ve even reached this point. That’s why it’s important to share the following three signs that you’ve been single for too long. Pay close attention.

#1- Desperation Sets In
Desperation occurs when your dating standards drop to an embarrassingly low level. Where you once held out for a Denzel Washington-type mate, you’re now content to settle down with Bookman from “Good Times.” Not to say that there’s anything wrong with dating a husky janitor, but it should be for love and not because you are willing to date whomever just to avoid being alone.

#2- You Start Overreacting
When desperation sets in, the natural response is overreaction. Suddenly, you begin to over analyze and over-interpret both your actions and the actions of others. “Did I come off too aggressive when I said have a nice day?” … “Was he flirting when he asked if I wanted extra cheese on my Whopper?” The result of these mental gymnastics is that you find yourself even more confused and frustrated about your dating prospects.

#3- You’ve Become Too Picky
Perhaps the greatest indicator that you’ve been single too long is the exact opposite of desperation. Instead of settling for anyone, you actually find fault in EVERYONE. For example, do you remember that one guy who was really nice, but you didn’t like him because he laughed like Benson? Or what about the guy you turned down because you didn’t like the font on his business cards? Both examples speak to a woman who is actively sabotaging her personal life.

The Fly Conclusion- You may be reading this and thinking, “Wow, I really have been single for too long.” Take heart in the fact that all is not lost. By simply addressing the signs and maintaining a positive outlook, your dating drought will eventually end. I’m sure of it.

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  • rena

    I’ve been single since dinosaurs roamed the earth lol.

  • http://www.flyguychronicles.com The Fly Guy

    lol @ dinosaurs.

    Could you relate to any of those signs?

  • lynn

    i’m absolutely positively relating to #3. i refer to myself as “debbie dateless” and if i didn’t go out by myself or w/friends i would have zero social life. the least little thing turns me off about a guy now and i justify it by reminding myself of all the bullcrap/antics i’ve put with and how it simply isn’t worth it to me to be bothered now. to quote a joan crawford line from the classic movie “the women”: “Romance?!? Peace means a whole lot more to me than romance.”

  • http://www.myspace.com/courtneyleraven The Raven

    Guilty…all three.

    #1 There’s a gentleman at the church I attend. By The World’s Standard of Beauty & Attractiveness…he is not. I think he has some godly characteristics though. I’ve pictured us married…errrr.

    # 2 I gave a guy a compliment at church. I told him I admired the way he praised the Lord. It was true, I did….until I googled him (I SURE DID) and discovered he is an ex-police officer with an AGGRAVATED ROBBERY CHARGE. Before knowledge of this, I’d unintentionally noticed him many Wednesdays and Sundays at church. He is thuggish-looking (not my type at all)…actually kind of a 2Pac, Terrell Owens -look a like depending on the angle/view. After telling him how much I admired how he loved the Lord, I later wondered if that were too much information. I can’t make eye contact with him anymore…I just can’t. LOL.

    #3 I’m a little picky because I’m marriage-minded. I can’t afford to settle and I’m not made to be anybody’s Baby Mama…Ain’t NO shackin up, up in here. I just can’t. LOL

    Love your site – interesting blogs, stories etc.
    Peace

  • msbliss

    The Raven…2 me u seem a lil too quick 2 judge. okay he had a case a lot of pastors & “godly men” have horrible backgrounds. Not every1 starts their spiritual journey from honorable positions. People called famous teacher Jesus a criminal. Not saying u should marry him but always keep an open mind & heart 2 your fellow human being.

  • The Raven

    Ms. Bliss

    …ummm yeah, I didn’t start my “spiritual journey” from an honorable position (nothing to brag about) either. I’m no judge, I know better than that – but I’m not stupid either.

    Peace.

  • http://thenickyscene.blogspot.com/ Nicky

    I’m guily of #2 and #3…especially 3, i find every lil thing wrong with EVERY man smh, gotta work on that.
    Anyways this is a great blog site!

  • urbanintellect

    I need you to add another 7 reasons so that perhaps one my fit with my situation:)

  • urbanintellect

    so that one MAY fit with my situation:)

  • urbanintellect

    I’m guilty of knowing what I want and realizing that NOT many men possess the complex dynamics that make me say WOW. I can give room for imperfections if the things I deem most important are satisified. I recognize that the numbers may reflect that there is a shortage of men. However, in my mind… in my world there are not shortages of what is meant for me. I do understand everyone is not meant to have everything! I also think that thinking you are one of those people is a state of mind.

    So, I could get married tomorrow and it might last a life time or simply a night. But it is a rare combination of many complexities that seduce me.

    The phone rings and the bbm chirps… I just don’t really date. Perhaps I’m an eternal tease:)

    There have been men who show interest and my friends think I’m insane for saying, oh well. ONE DAY.

    Patience is a virtue.

    Anything worth having is worth working for and waiting for.

    I suppose If I have to pick one… I’m picky (i feel that im a great catch and I should be)… I’m focused on more than trying to secure a man (I just don’t think it should take much effort) and I’m lazy (It maybe a recession but I would rather eat alone in peace and pay for it than be annoyed with getting fixed up to meet someone who MIGHT get on my nerves and ruin my meal)

    I have a better word for my issue hahaha.

    ps: love the site but it needs spell check:)

  • Glamagirl

    I am guilty of #2 an #3. As far as #2, I have learned to take things lightly and to take notes just in case the issue comes up in the future. I just have friends that I am learning and try not to assume too much. Also #3, I think that the ideal mate that is perfect for me is available and I will be patient. I have been known to stop talking to a guy for snoring and etc. Hope not being too petty. I mean we all have deal breakers, but I think that the mate that I need, not want is still available.

  • qwerty

    Man why you gotta be putting my business out in the street like that!!!! Have not been in a relationship since Arron and Teddy Riley sang together, I am finding I am so pickey I stopped picking, my standards got so low I went on a date with a man who had one eye, one tooth in his mouth and that one tooth was green.

  • http://www.kaleidoscopelyfe.wordpress.com Black Girl Thinking

    I can relate to a few of those signs…especially the standards being lowered. One time I had to stop and say awww hell naw..am I really dating him lol