Comments on: The Need To Ask Why After A Breakup http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/ Love Advice Will Never Be The Same... Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:58:14 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Frosty http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19877 Frosty Wed, 07 Apr 2010 17:18:32 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19877 I just recently had a break-up and its true when you ask one question, it does leads to other questions. Right still, trying to dealing with the heart-break for being in relationship for last six years. I just recently had a break-up and its true when you ask one question, it does leads to other questions. Right still, trying to dealing with the heart-break for being in relationship for last six years.

]]> By: maverick http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19876 maverick Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:36:22 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19876 grandma gives good advice. so do friends, therapists, other family members etc. but for the past 6 months after she left ive been stuck. i have a problem with depression. just like diabities or any other "disease" I do take medication but i do believe this is a major factor on why its so hard to move on. what hurts is that simple question why. why not me...and why him? she left me after a year and a half for a gelled hair, ed hardy, dude who works at a tan salon. talk about polar opposites, when i spend my spare time gutting deer he is in a tanning bed. while i drive me f 250 with my gun rack he is in his mustang. while i enjoy a good night of beer and whisky with my friends, he is drinking appletinies at a dance club. why? ill listen to your grandmother but what does this prissy dude have that i dont? i was good to her. i was great to her. and he is cheating on her like its his job.....its her loss, but every morning i wake up and feel like its mine grandma gives good advice. so do friends, therapists, other family members etc. but for the past 6 months after she left ive been stuck. i have a problem with depression. just like diabities or any other “disease” I do take medication but i do believe this is a major factor on why its so hard to move on. what hurts is that simple question why. why not me…and why him? she left me after a year and a half for a gelled hair, ed hardy, dude who works at a tan salon. talk about polar opposites, when i spend my spare time gutting deer he is in a tanning bed. while i drive me f 250 with my gun rack he is in his mustang. while i enjoy a good night of beer and whisky with my friends, he is drinking appletinies at a dance club. why?

ill listen to your grandmother but what does this prissy dude have that i dont? i was good to her. i was great to her. and he is cheating on her like its his job…..its her loss, but every morning i wake up and feel like its mine

]]> By: Me TOO!!! http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19875 Me TOO!!! Fri, 23 Oct 2009 00:33:15 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19875 Was his name Mitch? LOL! Was his name Mitch? LOL!

]]> By: The Fly Guy http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19874 The Fly Guy Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:27:33 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19874 Cocoa, I'm sorry to hear that, but the last thing that you need to do is pretend this didn't happen. All that does is delay the inevitable ... and that's you getting over him. You have to come to terms and find closure with the past. The moment you do that is the moment you can finally begin to move into the next phase of your life, post-him. I know this sounds easier said than done, but no one ever said that overcoming heartbreak would be easy. Trust me...things will eventually get better, but only if you start taking baby steps forward. Cocoa,

I’m sorry to hear that, but the last thing that you need to do is pretend this didn’t happen. All that does is delay the inevitable … and that’s you getting over him. You have to come to terms and find closure with the past. The moment you do that is the moment you can finally begin to move into the next phase of your life, post-him.

I know this sounds easier said than done, but no one ever said that overcoming heartbreak would be easy. Trust me…things will eventually get better, but only if you start taking baby steps forward.

]]> By: Mshollywood http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19873 Mshollywood Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:37:43 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19873 Cocoa... My heart goes out to you sweets .... I'm glad you recognize that this pattern is unhealthy not to mention a big waste of time, source of very heavy stress, and reckless use of your youth. Denial is the first step of grief so do know that at the very least your grieving pattern does follow 'normalcy" as you called it. Onlyyou can put a stop to the roller coaster... It's really simple though not easy. Don't wallow in pain ... Take time for yourself. And you may not read this, but if you do know that I too have been through a very toxic relationship that took everything from me and I made it out bruised but not broken. God bless!!!!! Cocoa… My heart goes out to you sweets …. I’m glad you recognize that this pattern is unhealthy not to mention a big waste of time, source of very heavy stress, and reckless use of your youth. Denial is the first step of grief so do know that at the very least your grieving pattern does follow ‘normalcy” as you called it. Onlyyou can put a stop to the roller coaster… It’s really simple though not easy. Don’t wallow in pain … Take time for yourself. And you may not read this, but if you do know that I too have been through a very toxic relationship that took everything from me and I made it out bruised but not broken. God bless!!!!!

]]> By: CocoaSweetCream http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19872 CocoaSweetCream Thu, 22 Oct 2009 04:29:32 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19872 I doubt this comment will be read but it 12:19 am and my boyfriend of year and 6 months just broke up with me, so this is mostly just venting for me. I asked every question in the book well every single one I could think of. And we use to break up all the time (unheathly, I know) so I figured this was no different. So when I realized it was real this time my solution was denial. I am going to sound supa crazy but I just pretend he's here. No arguing with my imaginary ex boyfriend lol but I choose to not deal with it as a way to deal with it. It's terrible the way another person who is related to you in no way can literally turn your world into such a lonely place. Call me crazy but food doesn't take the same and no matter how loud I play the music I can't drown out my thoughts. So I know denial is not dealing with it but it sures makes it easier to go with the motions of "normalcy" I doubt this comment will be read but it 12:19 am and my boyfriend of year and 6 months just broke up with me, so this is mostly just venting for me.

I asked every question in the book well every single one I could think of. And we use to break up all the time (unheathly, I know) so I figured this was no different. So when I realized it was real this time my solution was denial. I am going to sound supa crazy but I just pretend he’s here. No arguing with my imaginary ex boyfriend lol but I choose to not deal with it as a way to deal with it. It’s terrible the way another person who is related to you in no way can literally turn your world into such a lonely place. Call me crazy but food doesn’t take the same and no matter how loud I play the music I can’t drown out my thoughts. So I know denial is not dealing with it but it sures makes it easier to go with the motions of “normalcy”

]]> By: SteevieFantastic http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19871 SteevieFantastic Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:33:02 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19871 My ex broke up with me 3 days ago and till now, I am still wondering why. I even created a blog (www.diaryofsteevie.blogspot.com) as an outlet to express my thoughts on this breakup because at the moment, I'm taking it exceptionally badly. I haven't eaten since we broke up because ive been consumed with why he chose to cheat on me then break up with me on top, especially as I had done nothing wrong whatsoever and tried to make it work. I've been trying to contact him to tell me why but he just ignores me. I know i should leave him alone but i was beyond heartbroken and the least he could do was give me the answers I want. My ex broke up with me 3 days ago and till now, I am still wondering why. I even created a blog (www.diaryofsteevie.blogspot.com) as an outlet to express my thoughts on this breakup because at the moment, I’m taking it exceptionally badly. I haven’t eaten since we broke up because ive been consumed with why he chose to cheat on me then break up with me on top, especially as I had done nothing wrong whatsoever and tried to make it work. I’ve been trying to contact him to tell me why but he just ignores me. I know i should leave him alone but i was beyond heartbroken and the least he could do was give me the answers I want.

]]> By: WTF...Frowny Face http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19870 WTF...Frowny Face Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:03:58 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19870 This hit home for me, because im going thru that as i type. Just had a 3 year relationship end with the woman who i can honestly say was my "first love". It was pretty much out the blue (at least it was for me) and I think thats made things worse. We were talking about our future together just a week or so before and everything SEEMED fine...but i digress. But anyway, I think your Grandmother's advice is great...its just easier said than done. Worrying yourself about the "whys" is toxic if you let it consume you, but to certain degree it understandable because those "whys" can brings closure (which I believe everyone deserves). Now, this only applies that person was truly significant in your life. For just a random person your dating, or someone you know is "temporary" in your life, just keep it moving. Its not worth the energy. This hit home for me, because im going thru that as i type. Just had a 3 year relationship end with the woman who i can honestly say was my “first love”. It was pretty much out the blue (at least it was for me) and I think thats made things worse. We were talking about our future together just a week or so before and everything SEEMED fine…but i digress.

But anyway, I think your Grandmother’s advice is great…its just easier said than done. Worrying yourself about the “whys” is toxic if you let it consume you, but to certain degree it understandable because those “whys” can brings closure (which I believe everyone deserves). Now, this only applies that person was truly significant in your life. For just a random person your dating, or someone you know is “temporary” in your life, just keep it moving. Its not worth the energy.

]]> By: Mshollywood http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19869 Mshollywood Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:05:16 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19869 A man's rejections is God's protection... and I'll tell you why this is the truest thing I have ever read.... I was with my ex and since day one I had the gut feeling that he was gar-bage... my gut TOLD me not to talk to him and I stopped only to continue. After I broke up, I realized he was doing all the following things WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER...he cheated on me, refused to pay bills, lied to his son's mother and simultaneous girlfriend about me even though we even got married, he cheated ppl, stole from them, even his own momma... after tons of breakups(I initiated) and makeups (he BS me into) he finally left me for the girl. I finally accepted it and I was not sad. I even ran into them one day not too long ago and I pulled a Jill Scott on "Why did I get married?" and didn't feel like kicking the girl who took my "man" ass... I felt like crying, praying and even hugging the ho... she did me a HUGE FAVOR... I owe her. Now he is as evil as always, bitter, has no job, he's HUGE, he's old, ugly beat up, has no woman AND he is still trying to work me (he busted out my car windows just the other day because I refuse to talk to him.... after being broken up 2 years) I realize GOD was protecting me.... by getting rejected A man’s rejections is God’s protection… and I’ll tell you why this is the truest thing I have ever read….

I was with my ex and since day one I had the gut feeling that he was gar-bage… my gut TOLD me not to talk to him and I stopped only to continue. After I broke up, I realized he was doing all the following things WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER…he cheated on me, refused to pay bills, lied to his son’s mother and simultaneous girlfriend about me even though we even got married, he cheated ppl, stole from them, even his own momma… after tons of breakups(I initiated) and makeups (he BS me into) he finally left me for the girl. I finally accepted it and I was not sad. I even ran into them one day not too long ago and I pulled a Jill Scott on “Why did I get married?” and didn’t feel like kicking the girl who took my “man” ass… I felt like crying, praying and even hugging the ho… she did me a HUGE FAVOR… I owe her.

Now he is as evil as always, bitter, has no job, he’s HUGE, he’s old, ugly beat up, has no woman AND he is still trying to work me (he busted out my car windows just the other day because I refuse to talk to him…. after being broken up 2 years)
I realize GOD was protecting me…. by getting rejected

]]> By: Mizz.T http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/09/the-need-to-ask-why-after-a-breakup/#comment-19868 Mizz.T Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:28:17 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=961#comment-19868 honestly fly guy , i''ve been asking my self why about one particular relationship for 2 years, i know its bad but he's the first guy i ever truly loved and the only excuse he gave was we were too close...everytime i see that gnarls barkly video ..the one when the guy cut his heart out i began to cry cause that video is exactly how i felt and what he said then i start to cry cause i realize i'm not over him honestly fly guy , i”ve been asking my self why about one particular relationship for 2 years, i know its bad but he’s the first guy i ever truly loved and the only excuse he gave was we were too close…everytime i see that gnarls barkly video ..the one when the guy cut his heart out i began to cry cause that video is exactly how i felt and what he said then i start to cry cause i realize i’m not over him

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