Are First Impressions Really Important?
Sep 8th, 2009 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: Fly Perspectives
Comments (14)
Woke up this morning thinking about a conversation I had yesterday. It took place on an evening flight to New York, when I happened to sit next to a woman who read my column religiously. Here’s a brief excerpt from our exchange.
“It’s so funny that actually I got a chance to meet the Fly Guy,” she said. “I’ve been reading your work for a while now.”
“Yeah it is,” I agreed. “What are the odds that we would sit next to each other on a plane? But it’s good to meet you as well. You’re pretty cool … I think … well, maybe.”
She laughed. “What do you mean, maybe? I’m very cool.”
“I guess you’re as cool as someone can be 30,000 feet in the air,” I replied, still giving her a hard time. “I’m still not convinced that you’re cool though.”
“So you don’t believe in the value of first impressions?” she wondered.
“Absolutely not. Nowadays, you can never be too sure. I might get to my hotel and see you on the news for killing babies or harassing small adults (i.e. midgets, dwarfs, T.I., or Kirk Franklin).”
She laughed again … but this time, it was one of those uneasy laughs where she wasn’t sure if I was being serious, or still engrossed in my own brand of humor. I was clearly just giving her a hard time, but our exchange brought me to a larger point that I wanted to bring to the group.
What much do you value your first impression of a person?
Now there are two schools of thought when it comes to first impressions within a relationship. Some follow their gut, and allow the first impression to be the best indicator when determining if they should give someone a shot. Then there are those who are a bit more skeptical (or cautious) and take a lot longer before they open up and give someone a chance.
While both methods have positive attributes to them, I am curious as to which one best describes you and why.
Vote below, and then state your case.
(1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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First impressions are important, but it’s wise to keep in mind that not everyone has mastered the fist impression. I try not to judge people solely from that after learning that the heard way
Of course they are important! I know typically on a date everyone is putting their best foot forward so is it the ONLY impression i’m going to rely on? No. But if I meet you and you’re being a total jerk to others i’m not going to take the time to figure out if you’re truly a jerk or just have a harsh misunderstood brand of humor.
I do believe first impressions are lasting ones. However, I do believe that things can change. They can seem nice but they might be a little psycho. Then again you can catch a person on the wrong day and they may seem to be unpleasant to be around but it may be the opposite. I lean more on intuition. People are usually on their best behavior when they first meet. Give it some time and see how they deal with the public and you’ll find out who they really are.
i think first impressions are good in determining whether or not i will decide to pursue things with a woman. if my first impression of you is terrible then no bueno. if it is great that doesn’t mean that you’re on easy street either. people put up good fronts. so while i think first impressions are important they are not the only thing.
@ All
What’s the point of showing off and fronting just to make yourself look good in front of others? I’d rather just be myself and whatever woman I’m dealing with can take it or leave it.
Especially since women apparently like to Google and “Don’t-Date-Him-Girl.com” a Brotha behind his back, anyway instead of getting to know a guy IN PERSON when they have the chance. (As illustrated in the “Yes, She Will Google You” thread.)
@ third
you are so funny : ) bc you’re telling the truth!
They’re important when determining how long to keep a connection or situation going, but I don’t base a person’s character on them. What if the individual was having a bad day? What if they are stressed? Short on time? Anything can cause for a bad or great first impression. I just think that other factors need to be taken into consideration before people make concrete decisions about a person.
I voted “somewhat important” because although first impressions are important….You might be meeting someone for the first time….and their not their normal self,due to dramatic events happening in their lifes….such as an illing family member.
@third of august
That is your first impression – always skeptical!
Lol THIRD your a trip !!!….
Yes i do believe that First impressions are very important. Its going to help you remember to call that person if you got the number. it will put a smile on your face if they made you laugh by saying something lame or a joke. If we didnt have an impression from jump where would we be now. Will most of you ladies would have dated those guys if he didnt send a good vibe when you met. Will you Guys would have asked for the number if she didnt make you laugh in return and make you feel comfortable ???
@ qwerty
Why shouldn’t I be skeptical? I’m potentially wasting a bunch of time and energy giving my 100 percent effort into getting to know you…..just so you can take the cheap way out and try to Internet a Brotha to death?
And to think that some women actually have the nerve to complain about guys not approaching them with class and guys that don’t practice chivalry…..some of y’all take the fun right out of dating….smh
Seems pretty obvious you’ve had some bad experiences dating. Sorry about that. Maybe you SHOULD keep your skepticism on a little longer. smdh.
@ qwerty
Hey. Hold up, now.
I’m only skeptical to protect myself from more potentially bad situations in the future. It also gives me somewhat of that ‘edge’ that too many nice guys fail to employ when dealing with women. I’ve learned even in my relatively young life that while most women SAY they want nice guys, they generally have no RESPECT or ATTRACTION toward them.
So even though I might come off as a hard-ass guy quite a bit, it’s just me being militant about my opinion on things. I’m still probably one of the most congenial guys a woman could ever get to know….but I simply do not accept garbage from anyone any longer….whenever said women actually take the time to get to know me for more than my looks, my money, or what I do for a living.
I’m sorry but first impression plays a Major role 2 me. I’m type of person who likes 2 watch peoples movements & interactions with others be4 I openly connect with them esp. Men because that will tell u a great deal about their mental state & how they react 2 different people. Respect is 1# for me because if you don’t respect people in your daily life let alone people period I have no garantee you’ll respect me.