You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone

First time poster, long-time reader. I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. Sometimes, I swear you’re spying on me. This was right on time FG, and something that I needed to see to push me to do what I know I have to do. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Much love!

@underappreciated,

I’m glad my words could help. Feel free to reach out if you need anything else. Take care.

Why is it that people are afraid to end relationships that they know are over? How long is acceptable for a person to consider themselves in a relationship with another person if they aren’t spending any time together and are no longer intimate (i.e. a month, year, etc)?

Okay, here we go again!!!!! Get out of my head and heart Fly!!! There is nothing for me to comment really….it’s almost like de ja vu…..but only this was two Saturday’s ago!

Truer words have never been spoken…

hmmm…funny thing cuz I just went thru this last week. Its so hard to let go of the ppl who aren’t as involved or dedicated to you as you are to them. Fear is so strong and we let it become so powerful. It takes so much energy to be fearful. I’ve decided I’m not going to do it anymore. I’ve held on to way too many things that did me no good fearing that my life would be horrible without it/them. But life goes on…FG you are ALWAYS right on time with the posts!!!

oh wait wait wait…a song that displays this PERFECTLY (imo) is Destiny’s Child ‘If’…

If you don’t know
Now you know you’re gonna miss
My Love
And I ain’t worried bout a doggone thing
Cuz I was true when I gave you
My Love
If you search you will never find
Another love like
My Love
You’re gonna miss me
I ain’t got time while you run around
And play with
My Love

yessir!

@Everyone:-
Out the three, which is the strongest…fear, love or respect?

FG:

Are you hosting any Inaug parties in DC this weekend?

For whomever needed this post today, just know that it feels so GOOD and LIBERATING when you finally get this courage to follow your heart- trust!!

@ blaze:

God is love, so love is the strongest, but fear is the loudest, which may make some thing that it possesses more strength than it does. Respect is easily lost, so it is the weakest of the three. There are things that someone can do to make you lose respect for them, but you can still love them.

@everyone
Whats happening people.

I’ve never had a “you’ll miss me when I’m gone” feeling after a relationship ended. Its normally been either a “too bad that didnt work out” feeling or a “good thing we figured out this wasnt working b4 we made each other MORE miserable” feeling.

@devoted1
“Why is it that people are afraid to end relationships that they know are over?”

I think its just a matter of neither person wanting to be the one that hurts the other’s feelings. Might also be some people being afraid to be alone but that seems to be more associated with women than men.

@JAT

wow…that was DEEP!

morning pplz….

@blaze
I agree with JaT…even tho she like to be calling me out on threads I had no part in.

Morning everyone!

@ and1:

So ALL of your breakups have been civil? Or were you the one who had less feelings, and cut loose first? Inquiring minds want to know….

@ Chelsea:

Thanks ma.

@ and1:

That’s what happens when you lurk! If you don’t participate, I can only cyber-spar w/ blaze.

@JAT

u welcome…glad u got a pic up…even tho I doubt its you…

@ Chelsea:

It’s not a pic of me, but it was the closest thing I could find of a black woman in the thinking man pose. I don’t have any cute pics of me…

@JaT
I keep it civil ALWAYS. I’m a grown up. That said, I have cut loose first but the writing is usually on the wall by that point.

I actually havent been lurking. Work’s been kicking it up a notch.

Whats up And1?

@J Thought
In my opinion I think respect is the most important of the three and holds the most value. Its hard to love someone without respecting them. Poeple use and define the word Love is so many different ways…What does it truly mean nowadays? People are in love one day than become strangers the next day….People are fickle as hell.

@Blaze

very true…

@And1

I agree. We are grown ups and being civil is the best way. Sadly, not everyone can handle a break-up in a civil manner. Consider yourself lucky

@ blaze:

You are definitely right about people using and abusing the word love. But, I still believe that love, in its purest form, trumps the others. Love can encompass respect, but it is greater than that aspect. When you really love someone, and aren’t just infatuated, sexually attracted to them, or mildly affectionate towards them, then that love will surpass anything that they can do, even things that will make them lose your respect. And, just to make this clear, love is not a free pass to take a bunch of bull off a person. You can love someone and chuck the deuces at the same time.

Wow. VERY well-written, FG. Impressive as always.

And who knew RL would return from obscurity to personify my heart?

@J Thought
I agree with your view…not diagreeing at all just looking at it from a different angle. It would be very difficult for me to “love” someone if I dont have respect for them. And who really know what the “purest form of love” is nowadays. I’m sure everyone has had someone constanlty saying they love you but is ready to break up if you’re late calling them, dont call enough, etc, etc.

It’s hard to take that word seriously unless the depth of the commitment is challenged and assessed. Saying it verbally means nothing to me….but if you can say when there’s adversity at hand…then I can accept it. Haven;t you heard Avants song “When it Hurts” yet? That’s real talk right there.

@Blaze

That Avant song IS the truth…and its funny cuz its only when I heard that song did I realize that i’ve never personally been in love with someone even though I SWORE that’s what I was feeling at the time. Hmmm…emotions are very very tricky. You put names on them, confuse them, conjure them and ignore them but you can never forget them or deny them.

@Everyone

Can you truly (romantically) love more than one person at a time?

@ Blaze:

Gotcha. I guess from my experiences, I’ve only seen love, unconditional love, that had to survive severe adversity. My love for those people didn’t expire upon their exit out of my life. For family and whatnot, it was more of a “love in spite of” kinda thing. For the other person, I just cut my losses and called it a lesson learned.

So, do you only accept that a person means it when they say I love you after some adversity has arisen?

@Everyone (again)

What’s with this whole ‘I love you but I’m not IN love with you’ mess?

Does that ish really exist or is it a cop out?

@ Chelsea:

I don’t think so. Can you be infatuated with more than one person? yes. And we all know you can definitely lust after more than one person. I think it’s possible to have different levels of feelings for more than one person, and those feelings fall under the “romantic” umbrella, but I don’t think all those feelings classify as love.

Whats up blaze. You’re in DC, right? Hows the weather gonna be out there this weekend?

@cheese
“Can you truly (romantically) love more than one person at a time?”

I used to not think so but I’m not so sure anymore.

@cheese
“What’s with this whole ‘I love you but I’m not IN love with you’ mess?”

I think there’s a difference b/w the two. Its like loving someone as a brother/sister versus loving them as an SO.

Chelz
Good question about loving more than one person at a time but for the sake of the conversation what is your definition of love today?

@J Thought
For me it doesnt have to be said once adversity arises but i’ll believe you mean it more if its said even when we’re at odds. To me love is too conditional nowadays. Its easier and easier for people to walk away

@ chelsea:

For the most part, the line is a cop-out. But, IMO the “in love with you” is more about the warm and fuzzies about the other person, while loving a person is deeper than that.

And1
Its looking to be in the 30′s up until Sat..not sure about Sun-Tues yet? In DC it can be 55 in Jan and as low as 20′s. I’ll keep you posted. When are you coming in town?

@ chelsea:

Also, when a person says that line, they really should just tell the truth:

1. I’m not happy being with you anymore
2. I’ve found someone else that is giving me what you aren’t
3. I really wasn’t digging you that much, and you aren’t worth the effort it will take to have a real relationship
4. I’m tired of your BS, and instead of hurting your feelings and telling you that you are a piss-poor SO, I’ll just take the blame

and the list goes on and on.

@blaze
Friday.

@JaT
But all of that is assuming that the person wasnt being truthful to begin with, right?

@And1

‘I used to not think so but I’m not so sure anymore.”

What happened? You fell for two ppl at the same time?

@JAT

‘For the most part, the line is a cop-out. But, IMO the “in love with you” is more about the warm and fuzzies about the other person, while loving a person is deeper than that.’

I think I agree…somewhat

@Blaze

I think love is being selfless when it comes to that certain person, trusting them with your heart and emotions, allowing vulnerability to be a constant state, truly being concerned for that person’t happiness and being tolerant.

I think someone said that loving someone is pretty much giving them the space to break your heart but trusting them not to…sounds pretty close to me

Chelz
I agree…..Love is a double edge sword. Feels real good but it can also sting the ish out of you as well.

@Blaze

I think love is retarded, indecisive and cruel and needs to take a seat somewhere and think about what it’s done.

Where the hell did Reina go?

@cheese
Almost but I decided to concentrate my attention on one instead. Think I made a bad decision that time. lol

CHels
Nah, Love just needs to be defined abd used properly….Like mentioned before ..people use that word too recklessley. U still have to believe in it despite any past hurtful experiences. If Love wasn’t real, you wouldn’t have felt the pain from the guys in the past.

@ and1:

Not necessarily. We all know that a lot of people stay in relationships long after time of death has been called, and then when they do want to end it, they pull out the Book of 10,001 Cliches just so they don’t have to say what’s really on their mind. I wouldn’t necessarily wnat the first thing out of a guy’s mouth to be “I’ve found someone else.” i would just want him to say “I’m no longer happy w/ this relationship and I want to move on.” If I ask about someone else, then tell me. I guess it’s just me wanting to process information in a certain order… I know I’m slightly anal, but oh well.

@Blaze

But I wasn’t hurt cuz I was in love or loved any of the past Team players…it was because my general worth as a person and my idea of respect was disregarded. I was tricked and lied to and I just failed to pay attention to certain issues that would have saved me some hurt feelings. I cared deeply for some past MVP-wannabes, and I’ve loved the IDEA of being with them, but actual whole-hearted romantic L-O-V-E? Nah buddy…not ya girl!

@JAT
“i would just want him to say “I’m no longer happy w/ this relationship and I want to move on.””

To me, this is fundamentally the same as saying “I’m no longer in love with you.” Its just saying I dont feel about you the way I need to feel about you for us to continue this relationship. Same song, just remixed.

For a really long time I would hold on to dead relationships I guess just out of fear of being lonely. I had been in a relationship with a guy close to a year and things were really messed up. I was already thinking about leaving and then he did something that was just unforgivable one night and I gathered all the courage I had and ended it and never looked back.

J Thought
I agree with you completely.We’ve all been on both sides of that fence trying to spare the other persons feeling by attempting to finesse the reason for the break up.

MIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! **gives her a bear hug**

I have a question, particularly for the fellas:

Would you leave a person who was holding back in the relationship? I mean, you have fun, everything in your situation is great, but you can tell that they aren’t letting down there guard? How long would it take for you to bounce? What would convince to stay and try to work through?

@JAT

thats a really good question. I’ve heard more than a few guys tell me that I have a wall up and that it’s obvious I have trust issues

@J Thought
Honestly, it would never get to the point of becoming a “relationship” until they let their guard. A woman only gets my #1 slot/title when the proper foundation is built…Without the right foundation you have no depth in the relationship. It would be too fragile.

wow…got cutoff

Anyway…i was saying that men can really read women pretty well and can sense if we are hiding ourselves and wearing that ‘self defense’ armour we love to rock so much…I think it annoys them, but I have yet to hear any one of the losers give a good suggestion on how to overcome it

hey chels. how’s the bf?

BF? What BF is this that you speak of? I’m building a team of prespective MVPs over here, Missy…I’ve signed no contracts and offered no advances.

In other words, we broke up…no wait, he claims we’re techincally ‘on a break’ cuz he ‘doesn’t FEEL like he’s in a relationship but he doesn’t feel he’s better off without me’…

Ugh…I’m single.

Hey Miss! Just noticed that you’ve been MIA forever!

@ Chelsea:

IMO a man can’t offer a suggestion, he just has to be committed to putting in extra work because he knows you have trust issues. It’s the woman’s job to decide to let her guard down, then find a way to do it, if that’s what she wants to do.

@JAT
As a guarded person, it would take me a while to give up on such a person. But it depends on how guarded and about what? If anything and everything becomes a struggle, then we’re probably wasting each other’s time. But you can also get a feel for some people like they’re either worth the work/time as well as they can show you glimpses of who they are and why they’re worth that time.

Thats my long-winded way of saying “It depends.”

lmao@And1

@ blaze/and1:

Thanks for your opinions. Will keep that in mind for future reference

JAT: yeah i’ve been gone a long while!

chelsea: you didn’t give him any cookie did you?

fema: spoken like a true old ass man.

J
No problem.

Have you promoted your dude yet or are you waiting to see what he does for your birthday?

@Miss

no…there was no exchange of the Goodies…he flat out said ‘it aint happening’…so yeah.

@ blaze:

Haven’t promoted him yet because there are too many things I need to know before he gets that top slot. It’s especially difficult because he acts as if I’m asking for a pint of blood every time I ask a question. He is one “deer in headlights” look away from me starting to rebuild my roster.

But, for my bday, I told him what I wanted to do, and we’ll see if he passes or fails.

@ms
You misspelled ‘grown,’ youngster.

You DO have a lot of courage now…starting in on me with only 4 posts in on a thread. You might wanna warm up on smaller fish.

@JAT

‘Haven’t promoted him yet because there are too many things I need to know before he gets that top slot. It’s especially difficult because he acts as if I’m asking for a pint of blood every time I ask a question. He is one “deer in headlights” look away from me starting to rebuild my roster.’

My hero…lmao@pint of blood

Uh…yeah.

Speaking of birthday’s, I’ll be 21 in 193 days, or 6 months and 12 days.

Excited much? I think I am.

J Thought
He might need a lil competition to really start taking you seriously.

@JAT

I have recently realized that men respond MUCH better and effectively when you put relationships into sports terms.

They understand the ‘roster’ theory and the work involved with attaining the ‘Heisman’ much better than being all senstive and romantically metaphorical. It’s been working GREAT for me!

@ chels
that’s good. celibacy for 09! woot!

@fema
I meant old feems. but since I am only a few posts in after like two months of being gone I will take a seat gramps.

@miss

whoa…who the hell said anything bout being CELIBATE? I said HE wasn’t giving me none…I never said I wasn’t GETTING any….

Chelz
Yeah you skipped over a lot..last i heard you were heading up the celibacy club with Ms Miss….

@ blaze:

I’ve been seriously thinking about adding some competition. But, I don’t know if I want him to do a whole bunch of work not only to be #1, but to be the “long-term” guy. He’s okay for Mr. Right-Now, but not for Mr. Hubby-In-Waiting. If I were truly ready to start looking for that, then he would’ve gotten the heave ho a long time ago. Why should I give up my standard movie/dinner/cuddle buddy when our situation works right now for the both of us.

@ Chelsea:

jeez, forgot how young you are. But you should do it big! And interesting point, my best Bdays were never the ones that are supposed to the big (i.e. 16, 18, 21, etc.) To date, 17, 20 & 23 have taken the cake. The rest? Bleh…

@Blaze

I aint skip anything. Now that I’m single (again) and not really focusing on being somebody’s wifey, I think it’s time to enjoy my roaring 20′s and just do whatever I feel is good for Chelsea. If that means I start being open to sex again, then I’m fine with that. Not a promise, but I’m rolling with the punches.

J

I dont see anything wrong with that. Seems as if it works for the both of you….plus titles can make things complicated if you let them. U never know, he may evolve and you might start seeing him in a different light one day.

@ Blaze:

LOL, you are always rooting for the y-chromosome carriers. We shall see.

well I guess i’m in the celibacy club all alone again…

@JAT

He’s always acting like he’s some type of prophet or something. “Just give the dude a chance…he just may surprise you, young JAT’…

boy please

@chelz

I’ll be 25 in 3 months and 1 day.

@Miss

but I’m in a bucnh of other clubs with you…

the Glasses club, the Bangs on our Fo’head club, the Big Ass Smile club, the Obvious Self-Taken Camera Phone Pic/Avi club…the list just goes on….

@Eshe

well happy birthday to JAT, you and me! HA!

Wait… 25? For real? Dang…I am young. **pouts**

@ miss:

Nah, I’m still in there with you. Although, before Christmas, a drunken game of kissey-face almost ended my membership…

@ Chelsea:

I know. i can’t hate on his “Captain-Help-A-Brother-Out” activities. But it just boggles my mind that the same man who manages to remind everyone of how easily men can whore around is the same dude that tries to make sure that all the women on here are boo’ed up. What’s with that?

“he Obvious Self-Taken Camera Phone Pic/Avi club”

waits for Papa Feems to arrive.

I’m back for a few. What are we debating?

@Ms Miss
You know Chelz changes with the wind…..give her month and she’ll be back on that “men ain’t ish” talk again..

@ Reina:

Blaze is has both encouraged me to open the starting job up to competition cuz the youngin is not fully cooperating.

Miss is lamenting being one of the few surviving members of the celibate club.

Chelsea is lamenting being young (although I don’t see why)

^^ blaze has

@Blaze

Don’t be mad at me cuz I’m constantly in transition. And I’m not angry and bitter. Just realizing that men like varitey and apparantley so do I. Hence the ‘Team’…duh

@JAT

you right…he always tryna make sure we locked down while he keeps shifting chicks to the left everytime the sun shines. And ‘drunken kissy face’? I’m lost….

J Thought
OK I see EC is back in rare form. I try to shed some light for all of you on what men think on a daily from my perspective.

@chelz

yup 25…trying to do it up big.

hey hey hey…I’m not LAMENTING anything…

JAT I aint even got THAT far, lol. the other day I think this guy at the grocery store was trying to engage a convo with me and I have been out of the game so long I didn’t know he was flirting until the cashier mentioned it. oh well, i didn’t appreciate his lips.

@Miss

Uh…exactly what about his lips did u not appreciate?

@ Chelsea:

Me and youngin went out. I had martinis for dinner, ended up back at my place on the couch with the tv watching us. The worst part was I regained my senses, and then had to drive him home (I drove that night, it was too cold to go on his bike), and then he spent fifteen minutes trying to revamp what we’d started earlier outside his place. It was FREEZING, and the thrill was definitely gone. But it was funny to see his frustration with not getting the golden compass after coming so close. (I know I shouldn’t laugh at it, but it really was funny).

Chelz
So now you want to get back in the ring for a repeated sparring match huh?

chelsea they were just NOT cool. like BLACK and RED (not pink) like the part of his lips had been skinned. had it not been for his lips he would have been an attractive guy.

JAT that is hilarious. I don’t do well in cold weather at all. nothing romantic about it.

@Blaze

it HAS been a while…What you got boy?

@ JAT

Thanks for the recap. Unfortunately, I have nada to add so I’ll just lurk before returning to this conference.

@ Chels

Is your hair auburn in that pic (gorgeous btw) or is it just that lighting? I’m thinking about coloring my hair but haven’t decided yet.

@ Miss:

LOL, don’t sweat it too much. You’ll get back into practice after Valentine’s. A lotta dudes (and women) wait until after that holiday to start hooking up again.

@ Blaze:

We are forever grateful for your insight. But our gratitude will not stop us from calling you out

@Reina

uh kinda. It’s this reddish brown color w/blonde streaks (no idea what its called tho). I appreciate the compliment! I <3 it!

@ miss:

Black and red lips? Ugh! He must have been a smoker. Not a good look.

J Thought
you know I have no problem with taking on all of EC…comes with the territory right?

CHelz
Its obvious you’ve been MIA since your celibate movement…I havent pushed anyone to the left recently…I’ve actually been focusing on one in particualar these past few months.

@Miss

black and red? Like the Falcons? I pass. Glad you did too.

@Blaze

mmhmmm **side eye**

‘Its obvious you’ve been MIA since your celibate movement’

What???

@ Chels

No prob. I’m thinking I’ll probably just get it layered and add in red highlights, but we’ll see.

@ Miss

Glad to see you back lady!

As for love, I’m anti-love at the moment. Not anti-men, just love. I’m trying to shut down that desire in me for relationships, companionship, and all that mess.

@ Reina:

That never works…believe me, I tried. You can tranquilize the hell outta that bish tho

dont even mention Vtines day! I damn near never have anyone for any holiday. I had ONE bf for the three major holidays. I’m going to stay inside watching horror movies eating bacon something…

I still dont know if i have the patience for dating again. Dudes convo was really weird. I understand being nervous but say something that makes sense dammit.

@Reina

that would be sexy!

@JAT

tranquilize huh? lol….

Reina I love that sleepy smile picture. Reminds me of Z trying to fake asleep, lol.

@Miss

has anyone ever told you that you remind them of Angela Simmons? no bs…dead serious

no, I don’t really look like any famous people, lol.

you do in this pic right here…the shape of ur face and ur smile remind me of her. Your complexion too

@ JAT

True, but I can bury it DEEP and just refuse to acknowledge it. For awhile, I was on this wanting THE guy kick, refusing to waste time on anyone I deemed unacceptable, because I wanted a face to stare into each morning. Well, that has yielded no results. Now, I’m just going to enjoy being single and fly. j

@ Miss

LOL Thank you lady.

@ Miss:

men, make sense? bwahahahahaha!

@ Reina:

Do you. Being single & fly is really fun when you’re in a real city.

@Miss

I have actually never been dating anyone for any major holiday—let alone Valentines day. At this point I don’t think I would know how to act if I was actually seeing someone when a major holiday came around.

Hey blue!

I have only been really excited about one person that I was dating during the holiday time. Sometimes it’s better not to have someone than to have the wrong person (or a person with a crazy family that gets on your nerves and touches your hair w/o permission because they don’t believe it’s not a weave).

@Reina
So does being single & fly include keeping your true heart under lock & key?

@ and1

I have a heart?

@Reina
Gasp! Was that YOU Kanye was singing about?

lol @ and1

@ and1

That girl did sound kinda familiar. My heart is under lock, key, and 15 Sumo Wrestlers in a bomb shelter surrounded by man-eaing piranhas located in the Falkland Islands.

dead@Reina

@Reina
Oh is that right? Why do I have a feeling it would just take a special Ne-Yo episode of Soul Train to have you all “Me cantas por favor!!

Miss is back? yaaaaaaaaay!

@ and1

LMAO!!! Touche, sir. He does know just what to say to me.

@JAT

Hey! and true to avoiding crazy family.

Hi Fabbie!!!!

Where the hell are Nisha and Nean? And ‘sugarlips’….and Tubbs? And….Moeski?

Hey fab! I guess Tubbs aint coming back. Too bad…Moe has a new job that doesn’t give him time to screw around with us…

Tubbs was here a few times these past couple weeks…I think maybe even Friday he was around. And Moeski is makin big money and stackin paper so he too GOOD for us now. That fool still owe me a Christmas check, as a matter of fact

Chelsea,

Tubbs already told you what you were going to have to do for that christmas check…

^^ I meant Moe

I missed Tubbs????

*weeping*

Hey Miss Chelsea! I’m here! Just trying to catch up as I’ve been held hostage by my job

So my $.02 to FG’s post… been there… it sucks… But I remember after we broke up dreaming about how my ex has just GOT to be sitting back thinking about what he f***ed up. Then it hit me that I really don’t give a rat’s a$$ if he’s feeling regret or not, because all that matters to me is that his loser behind is long gone. Good riddance, and let someone else deal with his mess.

But what took a long time for me to learn (years; years without him, because I didn’t see it with him)was that I do indeed deserve better. And it took dating other men to see what “better” actually is. 9 years of sub-par BF material conditioned me to not expect any more… until I started meeting men who right from the door started offering more than the ex-fiance ever offered after 9 years. And I do admit to kicking myself when I think about how many years I wasted because I was too afraid to leave what I was comfortable with, what I knew.

OMG that song… the words to it. I had to tell that to my ?? I dont even know what to call him. I expected it to be some time before he realized what he had with me and began to miss me but it seems but it seems be happening alot sooner.

That is some deep stuff my brother!
All I know is I want the type of love that takes of me when I’m sick. After all the money, creditials (degrees, awards, notariety), intelligence, big house, fancy cars, smoove talk, and even the ring. Nothing says I Love you like someone wiping your ass when you can’t reach it, feeding you when your hungry, washing your body when you can’t, wheelimg you when you’re weak and rubbing your feet because they know that’s what you like. All that person has is the mere thought of you when you were fine and normal. But all in all that person loves you and is willing to find the strength to stick around and nurse you back to health. Even if you never get better. Yep that’s the kind of love I want.

*oops takes CARE of me

This posting is by far the most inspirational I’ve read. Being stuck somewhere you feel unappreciated is the worst feeling! Makes you start to evaluate yourself as if you are less than deserving. But you live and learn and grow from every experience. FG, this is BEST!!

I swear! you took the words right outta ma mouth…thank you…really needed to read that.x

Fly Guy… I REALLY needed to hear that. As I sit and go through the motions of breaking up, I’m thinking that deserved better and I will get by without him. He’ll miss me when I’m gone..

Thank you so much, Fly Guy…

CB

That was so me back in the day. It never fails, the ones that treated me wrong, and didn’t appreciate what they had, always try to come back!

Just what I needed to read and hear to do something I should have done a verrrrrrry long time ago… thanx for helping me just say ” enuff is enuff” it all freakn stops right here….. I’M DONE loving someone who can’t love me back

thanx…. GOD BLESS

“it’s ironic that it took a dream to finally wake me up”…….thats a dope line FG

Wow FG.. First time posting,, Im new to your site.. But I came across this, and I just wish I had enough strength and courage to stand up and just be done with it all. He just has his way of making me feel like I cant do it without him, that I wont find anyone out there better, and so on. Its been like this for 5 years, and I have moved out, but he has sucked me back in.
I just wish I could be like that…

I dont know.. Im in a relationship like that now.. I think both me and my husband know its over, we just are too scared to go through with it.

I’m glad you found me. And I believe that you can be like that. It just takes faith, and a sincerely believe that it’s possible. It’s not going to be easy, but trust me; it’s certainly possible. I pray that it all works out for you.

@ MimoHouse – I’m new here too and reading some of the the words on this site is really helped me put things in perspective. I’m in this exact same situation as well and I’m walking away TONIGHT! Well since it’s my apartment, that I pay for and I pay for all the bills, I’m actually kicking him out. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years as well. We’d break it off and eventually he would suck me back in too. The shitty part is that he’s been using my son to suck me back in every time, but I’ve had enough now. You can do this. I have faith in you. Take a step back and look at the situation and pick out EVERY SINGLE BAD THING that he does. The proof will be there that he’s not the one. Love takes work, but when the bad times always outweigh the good, there isn’t much to fight for. You deserve to be treated like an equal, not a servant that is unappreciated. Stand up and walk away.

This is beautiful…i’m currently going through this but right now our relationship is in the stages where it’s fixable. I’m praying for the better!