Understanding A Man's Compliment

Aug 13th, 2009 | Author: | Category: Fly Letters
Comments (9)

Hey there Fly Guy,

I know I should know the answer to this question, but my new guy friend said that I was a sweet woman with substance. What the hell does that mean from a man’s point of view?

Rare Jewel

Hey Rare Jewel,

From a man’s point of view, what that means is, “you’re a sweet woman with substance.” I know that’s what he said verbatim, but that’s my point. There are many instances where there’s no explanation needed. In my piece, “3 Things That Guys Hate To Hear” (Read Here), one of my main points was that guys hate to be asked “what did you mean when you said ….” Often times, there isn’t a hidden meaning behind a guy’s words. We’re just far less likely to speak in code (unless of course we’re lying, which is a completely different story.)

So be happy that he called you a woman of substance—trust me, it’s a good thing. It just means that he can actually talk to you about something deeper than your favorite sex position or the latest episode of “Real Chance Of Love.” His ability to see something more in you only increases the chances that your new “friendship” will blossom into something more meaningful. I hope this helps.

The Fly Guy

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  • CaliLuv

    Good point F.G. Women often think that men are speaking in code and so we begin to “assume” one thing when it’s really not the case. You know what they say about ASSuming things. LMAO

  • Diamond

    That is a compliment when I tell men what I’m looking for in a relationship I always state I’m looking for a man with substance

    Definition of substance “solid character or quality”

    I agree CaliLuv

  • http://undressingher.com undressingHER

    I completely agree FG. I told a girl she was an “amazing woman” in a text today. She replied, and this is the 100% truth, “Why, because you still wanna f*ck me after all these years and chit-chat from time to time. please.” WOW.

  • http://reinasong.com REINA

    I think some women are hesitant to trust a man’s compliment b/c we want it to be true so badly. When you’re accustomed to being shortchanged, it’s hard to accept when someone finally offers you your just due.

  • amia

    @ Reina,
    You are right about that…

  • http://twitter.com/Teemenefee RareJewel

    @ Reina, my point exactly. Needed Dr. FG second opinion. Thanks :)

  • bogart4017

    “a sweet woman with substance” means having your cake and collards too. You can address light-hearted subjects as well as heavy ones with no trepidation in your heart. Its what we used to call a woman, a lover, a friend.

  • http://www.datelikeajerk.com Phil “The Jerk”

    I think women are so used to speaking in code with their own gender, they end up thinking men are doing the same thing when we tell them stuff. We’re not – what we say is usually what we mean. Men don’t have time to “hint” at stuff because we actually have s–t we have to get done, and hinting is a time-waster.

  • http://twitter.com/Stank_0 Stank-0

    Men are not subtle in communicating, it’s not our style. Unless it is telling a woman we are not interested. I know very few men who can do that. Maybe because we know what rejection feels like or we are weak. IDK.