its also on my site flyguydonnie.blogspot.com

. forgetting the reason we even began yelling at eachother, tht nite i alter egoed into a dying soul kus loosing the greatest thing i ever dreamed of i new wasnt seeing me as before. i stood at a pause to myself them tunnel visioned bak on are happy times, your mom nvr rely loved me but we still managed, then slowlyy hearing wind roaring past my ears as i slowly drop to my knees & finally realized wat such innocent innocence can bring so much decieve. i was foolish & took you for granted not because i new you wernt guna leave, but because i thot the love we shared was 2 big or either one of us to walk out on. i always thot it wuda been me walking out on you, me slamming the door & telling you to leave me alone inside im listening to the wheeping of your crackeling voice calling your mom to come pick you up on tht rainy night with tears running down your face & her just saying i told you so after time & time you wanted to portray a good me… a only i no you like no1 else does me. im srry tht i didnt make tht come truee. stubborn as i was & mistreated you the little things i said didnt make any difference because you knew even wen my words spoke louder then my actions..you stayed around. i rememberd the time yur mom cursed at me..told me i was a no good asshole. & here we go again you trying , crying yelling you cant take it anymore & told her im not like tht wen im yelling an telling you to js sit down. misfoolish as i was i didnt mean it. i kame home tht nite & thot to myself..dam to her own blood shes willing to go against.
right then & there the tunnel vision came baq & all the sudden in mind i listened to yur cry still it the wind passing me by as i make a trip for my knees to meet the ground. i didnt even notice thru all the wild thots, a tear random the side of my face..finally my knees crumbled & gave in i stumbled to catch myself then the tear continued its journey down my red face..starring at the ground still in distraught tht no longer yur with me bloodshot eyes from the pain tht i put u thru & you leaving was to much for me to beleive tht i almost suffocatedd.
while hands are still on the ground i position my right onto my throat coughing non-stop from disbelief tht finally yu were done with me
insidee hearts racing screaming no down a long hallwayy emptyy hallwayy
mind jus having & running thru all the moments tht i made you laugh, smile, even tear just because i was the reason for all of it.
my white shirt was soaked from my chest up, wheeping liek a helpless baby starving for a breathe..then the screaming from inside came out, eyes are shot because 2 much blood has rosen from my eyes….then with my right hand still holding my up i fell baq sloww…as im falling im jus remembering the smile you had positioned yesterday on yur face tht made yur cheekbones just poke out.
i cudnt belive as i was falling my last words from me to you were im sorry.