He Gave Me An STD … Should I Forgive Him?

Jul 17th, 2009 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Letters
Comments (8)

Dear Fly Guy

My boyfriend gave me an STD and is denying it. It’s curable, but when I asked him if he had anything, he said no. We are renting a house together; both of our names are on the lease; we aren’t speaking and are sleeping in separate rooms. I have an opportunity to move away and finish college out of state, and I wanted to know if should forgive him or just move on and focus on me????

Confused

Dear Confused,

Correct me if I’m wrong, but can you really forgive him if he hasn’t actually admitted to any wrongdoing? With that being the case, there’s nothing to consider. Pack your stuff, move out, and go back to school … period. If you don’t, he may eventually give you an STD that can’t be cured. And trust me; the Magic Johnson “I’m sick, but will live forever and gain weight” strand of HIV is not the norm. Don’t let this guy play with your life.

The Fly Guy

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  • Tubbs

    Are we even sure that it was him…she coulda been creeping herself, which is why she’s even contemplating taking him back.

  • G Clark

    He obviously knew, but could not let his ego go enough and did not respect you enough to let you know. What’s more? He lied to you afterwards. You shouldn’t even have to ask this question!

  • drob

    Life is too short to play games concerning STD’s — ask him to get tested.

  • http://reinasong.com REINA

    I opine that you should’ve been packing your bags while writing FG. Why is this not a no-brainer? He endangered your health & life, and even if he had or will admit to it, it still happened.

    Be on your way.

  • Miss Sherri

    Well, how you gona accuse this man? I mean, he should have no problem getting tested, as well. If he says he didn’t do it, who are you to say he’s lying? How does she know she got it from him? Even if she has never cheated before, I’m sure she was with someone before him. She may have had this for years and it just came up now..

    Trust is the real issue.. If you have a live-in man and you’re going to get a STD test, either you’re creeping or you think he is.. If the trust in your relationship is so broken down that y’all can’t figure this out between the two of you then you probably shouldn’t be together anyway.

  • qwerty

    Forgiving is very easy to do – it’s the forgetting that is the hard thing to do. Ask yourself will I always throw this incident out everytime we fight?

  • Third_of_August

    Sounds simple enough to me.

    “Relationship over.”

    Some things can’t be forgiven….endangering one’s health SHOULD be one of them. And it’s even worse considering this could be a result of infidelity, which is the NUMBER ONE THING I personally don’t tolerate in a relationship.

    I’d just cut the losses and move on (and get yourself treated).

  • Kisha

    I’m dealing with something similar. A guy gave me something that has no cure. I was tested right before we started dating and he was not. He stated that he was tested for HIV but had not had an TOTAL STD screening in over a year. I really believe that he did not know that he had anything but now he is avoiding me. I want to try to have a friendship at least but he seems to not want to face me. We talk on the phone almost daily or at least text but he has not wanted to see me face to face. Before all of this we saw each other every week. I live in another city. I really feel rejected but at the same time, I don’t want him to feel obligated to date me because he gave me an STD. We did not jump into a sexual relationship, it was 3 months before we had sex but now I don’t know what to do. The STD issue is the “PINK ELEPHANT “in the room. I think he knows who gave him the STD now and is kicking himself for the situation but what about me??? Should I have to deal with this alone because he’s guilt and feeling ashamed?
    Ladies and gentlemen, HIV/AIDS testing is not the only testing you should be getting regularly! You should be screened every year for ALL STD’s! Yes it costs about 50 dollars at the health department but it is worth it. I made it a practice to get mine every year but it did not do me any good when I had a partner who didn’t think it was a big deal!