Did I Mean Anything To Him?Jul 25th, 2009 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Letters
Hi Fly Guy,
I need some insight. I’m just coming out of a 2 ½ year relationship with my high school sweetheart. I broke up with him at the beginning of my sophomore year after a summer of living together. I felt like I needed to focus more on my studies and experience college as a single woman. He wasn’t happy about my decision, but he understood and accepted it.
We were only an hour away from each other so we still kept in contact. In the back of my mind, I had every intention of getting back with him. And he had the same intention (his words not mine). But around winter break things started to go downhill. I caught him in so many lies it was ridiculous—he was pathological even.
I eventually realized I couldn’t take the drama anymore (mainly the lies) and cut all ties with him. It’s been six months since I’ve seen or spoken to him, and I just recently found out that he has a special person in his life. Not sure if she’s his girlfriend, but she’s special.
I know this because they’re already dropping the L word. He talks to her like he used to talk to me. And he does with her all the things he used to do with me. I don’t know how long they’ve been together, but it couldn’t have been long—unless he cheated on me, which wouldn’t be a surprise. I just wanted to know, did I ever mean anything to him?
Maybe I’m a bit naïve, but this is how I feel. He was my first love, my first everything. I not only lost a boyfriend, but I lost a great friend. Of course, I expected him to move on but not right into another serious relationship.
I feel like I was just a girl at that particular time in his life. And all the lies just made me feel like everything was fake in our relationship. So did I mean anything to him? Please forgive me if I seem a little young minded and clueless, but shit, I am! This is my first heartache. Help a sista out!
Dazed and Confused
Dear Dazed and Confused,
I see you had a lot to get off your chest. Now that you’ve laid out the back story, my main advice to you is focus on the entire scope of your relationship. You laid out several reasons that detailed why you no longer wanted to be with him. But as soon as you saw him with another woman, all you could think about were the positives. In all likelihood, his new love interest is experiencing the same things that made you walk away. Certain flaws—like lying—don’t correct themselves overnight.
Look; it’s human nature to reflect on a past love after discovering they’ve moved on—especially if they do it before you. I can remember finding out that an ex had a new boyfriend shortly after we broke up, and it had me messed up for weeks. I’m sure I asked myself every single question that you’re currently asking yourself. In the end, I had to remind myself that we broke up for a reason, and that I was better off without that added stress in my life. Now it’s time for you to do the same.
The Fly Guy
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