Am I Being An Unreasonable Woman?

Jul 28th, 2009 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Letters
Comments (5)

Dear Fly Guy,

I just read your article, Five Types of Women Men Hate (read here), and I have a question about Ms. “Stick in the Mud.” I am married and I am friends with a few of my husband’s female friends (he always kept me around them). In a few days, myself and one of his homegirls are going on vacation. I just found out that another young lady that I am not too comfortable with (my husband and her had an explicit “joke” that really hurt me) will be joining us on vacation and I no longer want to go. **It’s a female only vacation – fyi** Am I being a stick in the mud?

Monie

Dear Monie,

No you’re not being a stick in the mud. Your response appears to be both rational and reasonable. You’re feeling this way because your boundaries as a wife have been invaded. While there’s nothing wrong with your husband having female friends, he has to do so in a way that makes you comfortable. He has seemingly crossed that line of demarcation with this particular woman, which has sparked your current feelings. If you haven’t already, you need to first express to him how their “joke” made you feel. You then need to explain in detailed terms what you are and are not comfortable with as it pertains to female friends in his life. As the #1 woman in his life, he should be more than willing to ensure that you’re at ease with these relationships. If he isn’t, well that’s an entirely different conversation that needs to be had. I hope this helps.

The Fly Guy

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  • Pat

    So Fly Guy, I’m wondering…Does your advice regarding male relationships with their female friends pertain to boyfriends as well, because I have recently encountered a similar situation?

  • http://www.flyguychronicles.com The Fly Guy

    It can apply to a boyfriend as well. The rules aren’t as concrete as they are in marriage, but it can apply. That main thing that you have to do is clearly articulate boundaries when you are in a committed relationship. That way there’s no room for interpretation.

  • http://areyouagoodcatch.blogspot.com areyouagoodcatch

    Yes, your feelings should be valued, and as a wife you want to be treated special, like you’re not just one of his female friends. It’s important to communicate the way you feel, without arguing. If you broach the topic with an agreement, he will shout down and not get what you are saying. Also, when you talk to him about it, come to a compromise, this way it doesn’t come across as if you are just trying to get rid of his friends.

  • http://areyouagoodcatch.blogspot.com areyouagoodcatch

    Correction, if you broach the topic with an argument, he will shut down. :-)

  • http://milly-o.blogspot.com/ Milly

    I agree Fly Guy!