There Is No Romance Before ….
May 6th, 2009 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: Fly Events
Comments (7)
So here’s the scenario.
You’ve been waiting your whole life to meet that special someone, and as fate would have it, you finally meet them. As the relationship matures, there’s one glaring problem that deters you from taking the next logical step with them.
Finances.
It’s not that your financial situation is bad, it’s just that … well ok, things really are bad. But I have some good news. Apparently BET caught wind of your situation, and has designed a television show with you in mind. (Ok, that may not be the entire truth, but just run with it.)
The game show is called “Pay It Off,” and it’s main objective is to help people get out of debt. So check out the flyer below, and if you fit the descriptive, then by all means give it a shot. Who knows, you may find a plausible solution to the one thing that’s been holding you back in your relationship. Let me know how it goes.
Fly Question of the Day: Would finances ever prevent you from marrying someone?
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BET is so helpful! How generous of them! I’m sure they won’t have these people making complete fools of themselves for entertainment.
Moving on…
Yes, finances would. I will not marry someone with a mountain of debt that will adversely affect my credit. Mismanagement of finances is unattractive. At a certain age, fiscal responsibility becomes a must. I’m not prepared to witness a drastic change in my lifestyle through someone else’s disregard.
Did it prevent me from marrying someone? No. Should it have, YES!
Marriage is a legally binding contract. People tend to forget that. Because of this it needs to be looked at like one. If you want to be with someone because you are “blinded by love” then you should live with them and be in love.
Love is not and will not get you through bill collection calls and the bad credit that is preventing you from getting the things needed in the marriage (i.e. extra deposits on utility bills and reantl units, higher rates on car loans and houses). In those cases, one person ends up with everything in their name and that creates another dynamic that can easily be another post.
I am an advocate (now) of laying everything on the table before the trip down the aisle. If you are not willing to do that, you are not ready to share your life with someone else. Just my 2 cents…from someone who has been there, done that and now has the t-shirt and the coffee mug.
I don’t think it would prevent me from marrying someone, however, before we got married we’d have to
*take a financial planning course
*pay down debt
*have a clear, workable plan for the future
and not go bankrupt trying to plan/have a wedding…
If I truly felt though, our future would not make it due to finances, then I’d really, really think about it
Irresponsibility with finances is a huge turn-off, and I’ll be damned if someone is looking to me to be their sugar-mama. However, I’m no angel and I can’t fault someone for having some indiscretions of the wallet too. We’ve all been young and stupid, and some more than others. Though I’m straight with mine (good credit, etc) I am still paying down a mountain of debt I accumulated during my 20s. I think honesty is extremely important in a relationship, and that includes being straight with your financial health as well. I think as long as a person is responsible, good credit, and you both have worked out a plan for the future (how to pay down debt, save for house/kids/etc) this shouldn’t get in the way of progressing in your relationship. And I agree with DC – if I’m not comfortable for any reason and feel like money will cause problems in our future, then I’d thoroughly reconsider.
Like my Mom always says, “Love is everything – until the first bill comes in.” LOL
I might need to sign up lol
Hell its a recession
Yes, unfortunately. I am engaged and love my man with all of my heart. However, his financial situation is killng me. He is an entreprenaur and while I admire his motivation and drive, I am tired of paying all of the bills until his job choice comes through. He helps me out with money when he can but I’m just tired. This may sound crazy, but I feel that if I say I do I am saying I do to this situation. I have been very supportive of him, but I just wish that I could sit back and not have to bear all of the responsibility. I will marry him as we have a son and I honestly love what we have. I just get irritated with his current financial situation. Romance without finance is a NUISANCE!! :)
Love is powerful and above all, but you get the whole package when you marry someone! In a community property state like NM and TX, you may get into lots of trouble with this person. What if your spose owed a few hundred thousand in loans? You may not be responsible for the debt they brought into the marriage, but what if they default while being married? That is “New” debt that you may be responsible for. I had to think it over long and hard and said “No’ to marrying a person in “out of control” debt. It stinks to loose someone you love, but just think of the hardship filled life you may live being with this person who you love so much! Money does come between relationships. What do you do, just say screw the debt and pretend that it doesn’t exist? It will come back to you. What happens when all her money is going to her debt, and you have to pay the rent or mortgage, pay for her car when it breaks down, and for food and entertainment? She wants to share in dreams and where your money is going, but doesn’t contribute! It’s coming out of your pocket. Those loans will always come first! The way you want to live, or the way you want a relationship to go financially will never happen! Then, you may be called “cheap” or “tight” or labeled “abusive” and so on, when you really do have her best intentions at heart. Money problems show in many ways and are often disguised as other relationship problems. Then you go to a therapist because he or she has low sex drive, or there is poor communication,or she drinks too much wine, or is depressed, or you are depressed and can’t figure out why, and so on. Maybe the problems are her/his debt! You can’t solve everyones problems, and will take on her or his problems if you get married! That’s just the way it is. Small debts are way easier to handle than large, unmanageable debts where that person is always scheaming and trying to find a way out of debt. A few thousand bucks, 10 thousand bucks,… no the craziest thing to marry this person. Two people can put their resources together to conquer the debt. 50K, start looking at how she lives her life and if you want to take it on. 50K is much more after interest! 50K can be 100K after interest! Good luck and take care of yourself!
So should you marry her/him? Read what I said! No way!