The Word Swagger Must Die/ Ode to Nice Guys

Her Story

“I want a guy with serious swag,” she told her girlfriends. They all nodded in agreement. What she was really subconsciously saying was, “I want an asshole that’s nice to me but who doesn’t take shit from anyone else.”

Once she found him, their relationship began to flourish … that is, until his “swag” morphed into something that she didn’t bargain for. Over time, he stopped being so nice, and eventually dropped her into the “I don’t take shit from you” pile along with everyone else. This would normally be a sad story, but it’s the 5th time that it’s happened to her in the last two years. So it’s not. Now she’s left to commiserate with those same friends as to why she keeps falling for guys who don’t respect, honest or cherish her.

His Story

For some odd reason, he always finds himself in the friend zone. When pursuing women, he usually gets the “you’re such a nice guy, and will make a great husband one day” pat on the head. Translation: You’re safe, and I don’t feel like being safe right now.

So he sits and waits. His nights are filled with phone calls from those same women as they spend hours complaining about the guys that treat them wrong. He wants to say something, but he can’t … he’s just a friend, remember.

He even tried to start “hopping out the bed and turning his swag on,” but that came off insincere. The universally accepted definition of what that word means is just not who he is. The only thing that he knows how to be is himself … but that doesn’t seem to be paying dividends right now.

The Fly Outlook

For the women-
There needs to be more that attracts you to a man than “swagger.” Don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a man with confidence. But confidence alone won’t make you happy. Besides, confidence is an emotion capable of changing overnight. I’d rather you place your chips on something more tangible—like the way he treats you and others.

For the men-
It must suck to be you right now. Not because there’s anything wrong with you … in fact, it’s the exact opposite. You’re doing everything right to win her heart, and you still aren’t getting anywhere. My advice to you is to avoid the temptation of changing who you are. I’ve even brought some ammunition to the table, by sharing Three Nice Guys That Finished First. Keep the faith my brother.

Nice Guy #1- Bruce Leroy

He was corny … he was shy … and he didn’t have any “moves.” But none of that mattered to Bruce Leroy. He continued to be himself. And what came out of his insistence to stay true to himself? Well outside of getting the glow, he managed to snag the hottest chick in the game.

Nice Guy #2- Daniel LaRusso

This scrawny kid got beat up every single day. And while the deck was stacked against him, he had one thing going for him … his sense of humor. The tough guys may have scowled, but in the end, the man capable of making her laugh came out on top.

Nice Guy #3- Tyrone Hill

I find it fascinating that Tyrone Hill pulled women … in the daytime at that. While I’m sure his NBA contract had something to do with his sex appeal, Tyrone still came across as a guy who was comfortable being ugly. In the end, his comfort in his own reptilian skin made women comfortable as well.

Are you recognizing a theme developing here? That’s right; it pays to be yourself.

The Fly Guy Moral: I remember Jesse Jackson burying the N-word a couple of years back. He eventually dug it back up during Barack’s presidential run, but I heard he recently reburied it along with a few pending DNA tests. I’m wondering if there’s enough room in that coffin to bury the word swagger as well. Hmmmmm…………

In all seriousness, just be yourself people. If a person can’t accept you for that, then (insert expletive) them. That’s the real moral of this story.