Comments on: I Think I Hate My Husband http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/ Love Advice Will Never Be The Same... Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:58:14 -0700 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.4 By: Mia http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17777 Mia Fri, 15 Oct 2010 05:00:58 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17777 Hey notsurewhattodo, For a long time, my man was like that also. He wanted to be the provider, but if we got behind he'd yell at me about getting a job. He and I didn't want to day care our kids, so I stayed home w/them while he worked and gambled away a ton of money. Now, I have had it! I lived for 13 years like you, exactly the same threats and all. Now, I am almost finished w/college (which he never wanted me to go to ofcourse), and he finally couldn't stand it anymore and he left me! I am so relieved. Make a decision on what you want to do (like nursing? get a job somewhere that'll pay for your tuition or get financial aid by calling a college that you want to attend), and just get yourself educated and do it! You know, while he is at work, and the baby is napping, you can be on-line taking on-line college courses. There are many credible universities that have full on-line programs, some half and half. Check them out. He never has to know. You can have your mail go to someplace else, a friends etc... Make sure that you also get advice from a few lawyers...take advantage of free consults. Don't let your life pass you by w/his threats. They are signs of his own issues within his mind...seriously, he sounds bi polar. Hey notsurewhattodo,
For a long time, my man was like that also. He wanted to be the provider, but if we got behind he’d yell at me about getting a job. He and I didn’t want to day care our kids, so I stayed home w/them while he worked and gambled away a ton of money. Now, I have had it! I lived for 13 years like you, exactly the same threats and all. Now, I am almost finished w/college (which he never wanted me to go to ofcourse), and he finally couldn’t stand it anymore and he left me! I am so relieved. Make a decision on what you want to do (like nursing? get a job somewhere that’ll pay for your tuition or get financial aid by calling a college that you want to attend), and just get yourself educated and do it!
You know, while he is at work, and the baby is napping, you can be on-line taking on-line college courses. There are many credible universities that have full on-line programs, some half and half. Check them out. He never has to know. You can have your mail go to someplace else, a friends etc…
Make sure that you also get advice from a few lawyers…take advantage of free consults.
Don’t let your life pass you by w/his threats. They are signs of his own issues within his mind…seriously, he sounds bi polar.

]]> By: Sarah Hernandez http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17776 Sarah Hernandez Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:58:00 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17776 Dear Laughing eyes, I want to thank you for your advise. Since posting my comment I have decided to do some 'soul searching' within myself. I do my best to try & see all the wonderful things my husband does & try to overlook the things I do not like about him. It is starting to get easier but at times it can be very difficult. But i am up for the challenge and my new goal is to overcome these negative feelings toward my husband & love & charish him for who he is flaws & all. Dear Laughing eyes, I want to thank you for your advise. Since posting my comment I have decided to do some ‘soul searching’ within myself. I do my best to try & see all the wonderful things my husband does & try to overlook the things I do not like about him. It is starting to get easier but at times it can be very difficult. But i am up for the challenge and my new goal is to overcome these negative feelings toward my husband & love & charish him for who he is flaws & all.

]]> By: notsurewhattodo http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17775 notsurewhattodo Tue, 24 Aug 2010 04:50:21 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17775 Hi I am 20 and married to my husband for 1 year and I totally dislike the man. When I met him he lied to me about his whole persona and I knew it!! Dumb right and I stayed with him. We wanted to get married so we set a date and then I found out I was pregnant. I was still in High School and I got married. I ended up graduating early which im proud about but I missed a lot of stuff like prom and walking the stage and clubbing....cutting down to the subject. He gets in these spouts on how I never give up anything for him and that I am the one always at fault. I don't work because HE doesn't want me to because I am taking away his "duties as a father and husband" but yet when he gets mad at me he tells me to get a damn job. I am taking care of our son who is 10 months old and he is my whole world. I don't get any assistance with taking care of him from his father thats for sure. He has gone through 7 jobs since we have been together and we have been together for 3 years. He never let me handle expenses because " I don't know how since I never had a job!" but thats bull. Come to find out he has pocketed money for our car payment to eat out and spend bill money on clothes for himself!! He always puts his parents before me and our son for example: We got a big snow storm and got snowed in our house.. couldn't even open the door!! I called him the next day (he worked night shift at the time) and asked him where he was and he was shoveling snow at his parents house and said he wanted to make sure they were ok!! They are in there early 40's!! please!! I was so mad and when I told him that we should come first he shrugged me off and asked why i didn't get my a** out there and shovel it myself......um da can't open the door. He is now on his 8th job and we live with guess who his parents!!!! Who I dislike also. They try and raise my son like he is theirs. I want out of this relationship so bad, but he wont let me leave he said he would call the police for kidnapping, he isn't physically abusive but how do I compete with that? I don't love him anymore, I can't stand it when he touches me, all he asks for is sex and then complains all the time to his whole family that I never give him any! I don't want to have any connection to him anymore. His family also makes me want to move as far away as possible so I never have to deal with them again. I thought that he would change but I can see that he won't. I don't know what to do he is manipulative and negative in every way possible!!! Help!!! I need some words of advice! Hi I am 20 and married to my husband for 1 year and I totally dislike the man. When I met him he lied to me about his whole persona and I knew it!! Dumb right and I stayed with him. We wanted to get married so we set a date and then I found out I was pregnant. I was still in High School and I got married. I ended up graduating early which im proud about but I missed a lot of stuff like prom and walking the stage and clubbing….cutting down to the subject. He gets in these spouts on how I never give up anything for him and that I am the one always at fault. I don’t work because HE doesn’t want me to because I am taking away his “duties as a father and husband” but yet when he gets mad at me he tells me to get a damn job. I am taking care of our son who is 10 months old and he is my whole world. I don’t get any assistance with taking care of him from his father thats for sure. He has gone through 7 jobs since we have been together and we have been together for 3 years. He never let me handle expenses because ” I don’t know how since I never had a job!” but thats bull. Come to find out he has pocketed money for our car payment to eat out and spend bill money on clothes for himself!! He always puts his parents before me and our son for example: We got a big snow storm and got snowed in our house.. couldn’t even open the door!! I called him the next day (he worked night shift at the time) and asked him where he was and he was shoveling snow at his parents house and said he wanted to make sure they were ok!! They are in there early 40′s!! please!! I was so mad and when I told him that we should come first he shrugged me off and asked why i didn’t get my a** out there and shovel it myself……um da can’t open the door. He is now on his 8th job and we live with guess who his parents!!!! Who I dislike also. They try and raise my son like he is theirs. I want out of this relationship so bad, but he wont let me leave he said he would call the police for kidnapping, he isn’t physically abusive but how do I compete with that? I don’t love him anymore, I can’t stand it when he touches me, all he asks for is sex and then complains all the time to his whole family that I never give him any! I don’t want to have any connection to him anymore. His family also makes me want to move as far away as possible so I never have to deal with them again. I thought that he would change but I can see that he won’t. I don’t know what to do he is manipulative and negative in every way possible!!! Help!!! I need some words of advice!

]]> By: Mitzy http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17774 Mitzy Sun, 15 Aug 2010 07:06:36 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17774 He will not be homeless...........if he doesn't have you (mommy) to take care of him. He will have to learn to take care of himself. It might be different if he did anything to balance the responsibilities or made some contribution, but from what you say he doesn't. He sounds like he would sell his parential rights in a minute, but then he might need this "nest pushing out" momentum to make something of himself, at any rate you cannont be responsible for an immature, and irresponsible jerks decisions. Nor should your kids, and he will make your kids responsible to him and for him against you when they get older. This man needs a "caretaker" not a wife. You owe it to yourself and children to stop "enabling" his taking total advantage of you. IT WILL NOT GET BETTER but worse as time goes on and he can get away with this "teenage" lifestyle. Do you want your own children turned against you, as I feel he is just the type to manipulate anyone and everyone in order to support his lazy ways. I know, I have seen them in action. Think long and hard, as him being homeless is your least concern right now. I think he will have to have a home for them to visit.......otherwise not your problem. Document everything, you have done and his behavior......only with documentation can you hope to keep your kids from HAVING to visit him in some alley. Good luck He will not be homeless………..if he doesn’t have you (mommy) to take care of him. He will have to learn to take care of himself. It might be different if he did anything to balance the responsibilities or made some contribution, but from what you say he doesn’t.

He sounds like he would sell his parential rights in a minute, but then he might need this “nest pushing out” momentum to make something of himself, at any rate you cannont be responsible for an immature, and irresponsible jerks decisions. Nor should your kids, and he will make your kids responsible to him and for him against you when they get older.

This man needs a “caretaker” not a wife. You owe it to yourself and children to stop “enabling” his taking total advantage of you. IT WILL NOT GET BETTER but worse as time goes on and he can get away with this “teenage” lifestyle. Do you want your own children turned against you, as I feel he is just the type to manipulate anyone and everyone in order to support his lazy ways. I know, I have seen them in action. Think long and hard, as him being homeless is your least concern right now. I think he will have to have a home for them to visit…….otherwise not your problem. Document everything, you have done and his behavior……only with documentation can you hope to keep your kids from HAVING to visit him in some alley. Good luck

]]> By: shinymama http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17773 shinymama Thu, 12 Aug 2010 01:35:37 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17773 I hate my husband. He is the worst husband in the entire world. He is unemployed, an alcoholic, and very mean to me. When I married him 8 years ago he was super sweet. Something happened and he turned mean. He insults me constantly, puts me down, and turns everything into a fight. We have a 5 month old baby who is the light of my life and if it weren't for the baby I would get a divorce immediately. There is no "talking" to this man... he is unable to communicate. I try to talk to him about our relationship and I approach it in a very sweet, gentle way and choose my words very carefully... but no matter what, he reacts in an angry and hostile way, becomes totally defensive, disagreeable and oppositional. He turns everything around so that everything is my fault and I am a horrible monster, even though I work, pay all the bills, do all the housework,and most of the childcare, while he lies around watching TV, then he goes to the bar and drinks beer all night, every night. If I ask him to do one little thing like do the dishes he gets pissed off and calls me a nag. There is no saving this marriage, he is never going to change, he is a completely un-evolved, irresponsible, immature boy who can't get or keep a job. He provides me with absolutely nothing.... no money, no love, no affection, no companionship, no household help. NOTHING. See? THE WORST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD! Now why don't I leave him? Thats what I want more than anything in the entire world... I know our horrible relationship is damaging for our child and that if we split up, it would actually be healthier for our child. But the problem is, he is unable to support himself financially, and he cannot function independently in the world. He relies on me for absolutely everything, like a child. He has not one penny. He has been unemployed for 2 years... never looks for work... has no skills.... gets fired from every job. If I kicked him out, he would basically be homeless. Normally I wouldn't care, I would just kick him out and never see him again and let him fend for himself. The problem is I don't want my son's father to be homeless. There would be no way for us to share custody... how would my husband take the baby for the weekend, if he lives on the street? This is my horrendous problem. I can't see a way out, and I am miserable, and I am terrified for the well-being of my precious, amazing, beautiful baby. Somebody help me. I hate my husband. He is the worst husband in the entire world. He is unemployed, an alcoholic, and very mean to me. When I married him 8 years ago he was super sweet. Something happened and he turned mean. He insults me constantly, puts me down, and turns everything into a fight. We have a 5 month old baby who is the light of my life and if it weren’t for the baby I would get a divorce immediately. There is no “talking” to this man… he is unable to communicate. I try to talk to him about our relationship and I approach it in a very sweet, gentle way and choose my words very carefully… but no matter what, he reacts in an angry and hostile way, becomes totally defensive, disagreeable and oppositional. He turns everything around so that everything is my fault and I am a horrible monster, even though I work, pay all the bills, do all the housework,and most of the childcare, while he lies around watching TV, then he goes to the bar and drinks beer all night, every night. If I ask him to do one little thing like do the dishes he gets pissed off and calls me a nag. There is no saving this marriage, he is never going to change, he is a completely un-evolved, irresponsible, immature boy who can’t get or keep a job. He provides me with absolutely nothing…. no money, no love, no affection, no companionship, no household help. NOTHING. See? THE WORST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD! Now why don’t I leave him? Thats what I want more than anything in the entire world… I know our horrible relationship is damaging for our child and that if we split up, it would actually be healthier for our child. But the problem is, he is unable to support himself financially, and he cannot function independently in the world. He relies on me for absolutely everything, like a child. He has not one penny. He has been unemployed for 2 years… never looks for work… has no skills…. gets fired from every job. If I kicked him out, he would basically be homeless. Normally I wouldn’t care, I would just kick him out and never see him again and let him fend for himself. The problem is I don’t want my son’s father to be homeless. There would be no way for us to share custody… how would my husband take the baby for the weekend, if he lives on the street? This is my horrendous problem. I can’t see a way out, and I am miserable, and I am terrified for the well-being of my precious, amazing, beautiful baby. Somebody help me.

]]> By: Allison http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17772 Allison Sun, 08 Aug 2010 07:18:17 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17772 My husband and I have been together for a little over three years, we have a beautiful 5 month old baby girl. He works and I am a stay at home mom. I feel very blessed to be able to raise my baby without daycare and such. The problem is my husband and I never agree about ANYTHING...when we were dating it started as friendly debating and such. Now it just annoys me. Everything is a fight, usually that ends in yelling and cursing, sometimes in front of the baby. That kills me. I don't think I'm very much in love with him and if he said he was leaving tomorrow and not coming home I wouldn't really be that sad. Mostly relieved that I wouldn't have to fight about stupid crap anymore! I don't want to leave him but I don't want our little girl to realize mommy and daddy don't get along. How can I learn to deal with him and be happy too? My husband and I have been together for a little over three years, we have a beautiful 5 month old baby girl. He works and I am a stay at home mom. I feel very blessed to be able to raise my baby without daycare and such. The problem is my husband and I never agree about ANYTHING…when we were dating it started as friendly debating and such. Now it just annoys me. Everything is a fight, usually that ends in yelling and cursing, sometimes in front of the baby. That kills me. I don’t think I’m very much in love with him and if he said he was leaving tomorrow and not coming home I wouldn’t really be that sad. Mostly relieved that I wouldn’t have to fight about stupid crap anymore! I don’t want to leave him but I don’t want our little girl to realize mommy and daddy don’t get along. How can I learn to deal with him and be happy too?

]]> By: Kim http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17771 Kim Sat, 31 Jul 2010 17:30:54 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17771 you need to end that relationship! duh its not the end of the world your young beautiful life has so much to offer for you than that loser! just as they say for men it has plenty fish in the sea. Women it have plenty snakes in the grass1 start over enjoy b4 relationships have friends years or know the person good b4 getting together!!!!!!!make something good for your self! i wish i was in your shoes to get thiis advice now! you need to end that relationship! duh its not the end of the world your young beautiful life has so much to offer for you than that loser! just as they say for men it has plenty fish in the sea. Women it have plenty snakes in the grass1 start over enjoy b4 relationships have friends years or know the person good b4 getting together!!!!!!!make something good for your self! i wish i was in your shoes to get thiis advice now!

]]> By: Jaime http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17770 Jaime Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:53:20 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17770 and sorry, forgot to mention, im sure this will factor in to your advice...im 23 and my husband is 36. and before anyone thinks it, im not a gold digger! we are both broke! haha and sorry, forgot to mention, im sure this will factor in to your advice…im 23 and my husband is 36. and before anyone thinks it, im not a gold digger! we are both broke! haha

]]> By: Jaime http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17769 Jaime Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:06:58 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17769 ummm, thats murder* not merder haha ummm, thats murder* not merder haha

]]> By: Jaime http://www.flyguychronicles.com/2009/03/i-think-i-hate-my-husband/#comment-17768 Jaime Thu, 15 Jul 2010 23:05:19 +0000 http://www.flyguychronicles.com/?p=1528#comment-17768 I have been married since 2008, and I know i love my husband because i havent killed him yet, (lol) but i am very unhappy. i feel he is extremely controlling, and he is also extremely sensitive. he constantly thinks that everything i say is an attack against him, and i have no clue what he is talking about! i am a pot smoker. im not a stupid stoner, but i enjoy a good toke. he has repressed me with treating me like a disease until i gave in. its been like 2 months since i smoked. i am really resenting him. if i dont do what he wants, the consequences are unrealistically heavy. not just with pot. with everything in our lives. thats not the half of our trouble though. he expecs me to do everything, while he hasnt had a job in over a year. he comes up with money through his odd jobs, but its not anywhere close to enough. while i have to do the same, and do the laundry, dishes and everything else home invovled. he treats me like he cant even stand to look at me, and when i ask him whats wrong or approach it any other way, he says im nuts, its all in my head, its me. so not only is he a jerk, he tried to make it seem like im losing my mind! well, i AM losing my mind. lately my resentment has grown so much stronger, i cringe when he walks into the room. i think i might hate him. i certainly dont entertain thoughts of merder, but i really cant fight these feelings. i cant stand to even talk to him right now. and before every1 says tell him how you really feel, i have. i am a realist. i am known for bieng very open and blunt. i have tried it that way, tried sugar coating, strokng his stupid ego, ive given in totally, and given full resistance. nothing. i feel like he is regressing. he wasnt like this a yr ago....any suggestions before i totally bail? I have been married since 2008, and I know i love my husband because i havent killed him yet, (lol) but i am very unhappy. i feel he is extremely controlling, and he is also extremely sensitive. he constantly thinks that everything i say is an attack against him, and i have no clue what he is talking about! i am a pot smoker. im not a stupid stoner, but i enjoy a good toke. he has repressed me with treating me like a disease until i gave in. its been like 2 months since i smoked. i am really resenting him. if i dont do what he wants, the consequences are unrealistically heavy. not just with pot. with everything in our lives. thats not the half of our trouble though. he expecs me to do everything, while he hasnt had a job in over a year. he comes up with money through his odd jobs, but its not anywhere close to enough. while i have to do the same, and do the laundry, dishes and everything else home invovled. he treats me like he cant even stand to look at me, and when i ask him whats wrong or approach it any other way, he says im nuts, its all in my head, its me. so not only is he a jerk, he tried to make it seem like im losing my mind! well, i AM losing my mind. lately my resentment has grown so much stronger, i cringe when he walks into the room. i think i might hate him. i certainly dont entertain thoughts of merder, but i really cant fight these feelings. i cant stand to even talk to him right now. and before every1 says tell him how you really feel, i have. i am a realist. i am known for bieng very open and blunt. i have tried it that way, tried sugar coating, strokng his stupid ego, ive given in totally, and given full resistance. nothing. i feel like he is regressing. he wasnt like this a yr ago….any suggestions before i totally bail?

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