Friendship or Love: What Matters More?

Jan 12th, 2009 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Features
Comments (12)

The (Not So) Fly Scenario:

You’ve been with your significant other for years now, and you’re certain that this is the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. The same can be said for the lifelong bond that you share with your best friend from high school, as you’ve never had a closer friend. What’s great about the two of them is that they’re both so giving, while never expecting anything in return.

As fate would have it, one day they both come to you in a serious financial jam where they both really need your help. Now in a perfect world, you would help both of them … but the reality is, you just can’t afford it.

What do you do and why?

(a) Help your significant other
(b) Help your best friend
(c) Help neither one of them

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  • Just A Thought

    Ha! Way to put someone between a rock and a hard place. At this stage in my life, I probably wouldn’t help either. I no longer speak to my best friend from HS, and I’m not in a serious relationship, so it’s hard for me to get all worked up over a theoretical situation where someone might leave me, when the truth of the matter is that in life, nothing is permanent, so why hurt one for the sake of the other?

  • http://www.thejadednyer.net The Jaded NYer

    “never a lender nor a borrower be…”

    my mom (and Shakespeare) taught me that… money will KILL a friendship and STAB a love affair in the throat.

    If I had to choose, I would just offer them solutions on getting out of the bind, but will keep my money in my pocket.

  • http://and1grad.blogspot.com and1grad

    “money will KILL a friendship and STAB a love affair in the throat.

    If I had to choose, I would just offer them solutions on getting out of the bind, but will keep my money in my pocket.”

    TOTALLY TOTALLY agree.

  • Alexis

    Just like everyone had said, it’s best to not give them money outright because money can seriously f#$ked a relationship, be it platonic or romantic. Yes, life happens, but at the same time, as adults, the only person who’s responsible for you is YOU, not the other person.

  • Hilda Slaughter

    Hey this my 1st time commenting and i think you should help the one that you love. I have learned that if you have a fried and want to keep a friend, ” DO NOT LOAN THEM MONEY”. Even if you know they are good for it , that element changes things from a a friendship to a bussiness choice. My money is my bussiness and I like to keep those to seprate. Your lover in some ways repays you anyway if you know what i mean….

  • http://www.myspace.com/205414106 REINA

    I don’t lend money to my best friend. If she needs it and I have it, then she gets it. Her paying me back is the least of my worries. Helping her resuscitate her finances is my main concern. As for my SO, I’m hesitant about that, but if it’s heading in the direction stated in the scenario, then why not? Having to choose b/w the two, it’ll go to my best friend.

  • SiMPliCiTY

    Hello All! I have been lurking for a while now but felt compelled to share my 2 cents on this matter

    I agree with Reina my funds would go to my bff. I have been in similar situations and have always chosen my friends and I don’t regret it one bit b/c they would and have done the same for me. My friends will be there for me when that relationship fizzles out. On the other hand, it would TRULY depend on the situation, amount of money, and relationship that I have with my SO. I feel like money will ruin a relationship way faster than any TRUE friendship. I work too darn hard for my money and hate to end up on Judge Mathis over my mula!

  • kissdatip

    The quesiton is what if the BFF and the SO was one in the same? Do you give funds to BFF side and b/c it is also a SO, you don’t look for it back. Oooohhh what a tangled web we weave……been there done that got a t-shirt.

  • CapriceClassic

    I wouldn’t help either of them, because lending money is one of the quickest ways to dissolve a friendship/relationship if funds are not returned in a timely manner.

    And let’s face it – if it’s SERIOUS financial help they need, it’s going to take them a while to get back on their feet after borrowing the money. Which of course means they won’t be able to get it back to you promptly.

  • http://jerseygirlbydefault.blogspot.com/ sugarlips

    I don’t like this scenario. Can I vote for, “pick another card?” “Next question?”

    See, if it’s a SO and we’ve been together for years, why aren’t we married? If we’re working on that, then I would consider helping him first because when we do get married his problem will be my problem. Now if we’ve been dating for years and not on the path to marriage because shit’s just not 100%, well then BFF gets my help because she will be there for me no matter what, when his behind is long gone.

    There’s too many variables to consider; everything can’t be equal. It’s really an apples/oranges scenario.

  • CurlyScorpio

    I would help whoever asked me first. The other would have to understand that as much as I’d like to, I can no longer afford to. Simple as that. :)

  • http://www.mahoganydymond.net mahoganydymond

    I am not really sure. At this point I wouldn’t be able to help neither one.