Four Tips To Win Her Heart
Jan 23rd, 2009 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: The Chronicles
Comments (115)
There’s no denying it anymore. You want to be with her. Her grace, her class, her style … everything about this woman speaks to your better sensibilities. In your heart, you believe that she’s a rare find–a woman so special that you can’t risk letting her slip away. The only thing that’s standing in your way is her belief that you’re just like every other guy that’s out to love, and then eventually leave her. While that can certainly make the pathway to love more difficult, it doesn’t have to make things impossible.
Since I’m a firm believer that all things are possible, I’ve decided to share the following Four Tips to Win Her Heart. Use them wisely, and only with the best intentions.
Tip #1- Be Thoughtful
One of the most attractive things that a man can ever do is pay attention. This act–though simple in practice–provides immeasurable results. By simply opening up your eyes and ears to her world, you become more in tune to the things that make her happy. That understanding alone will lead to more thoughtful acts–the types of acts that seem insignificant to the casual onlooker, but to her mean the world.
Tip #2- Be Spontaneous
Spontaneity breeds excitement … excitement breeds anticipation … and anticipation brings you one step closer to securing a special place in her heart.
You can never underestimate the power of spontaneity. I compare the value of a woman anxiously anticipating your next move to me watching my Uncle Teddy at a wedding reception. In both instances, the wait and the subsequent act are well worth it. (Uncle Teddy still does the tootsie roll … so just keep him in your prayers.)
All jokes aside, my philosophy is to keep her on her toes. You never know what that may lead to… perhaps her heart.
Tip #3- Be Sincere
A woman can spot insincerity from a mile away. With that understanding in mind, every one of your actions should be purposeful, and done with good intentions. So don’t buy flowers just because “that’s what guys do.” And certainly don’t tell her that she’s beautiful if it’s only meant to pacify her. Everything that you say and do should come straight from the heart.
Let me give you an example. When I witnessed Jermaine Jackson using an entire bottle of pink oil moisturizer before a reunion show, my initial thought was that he was just overindulging like most celebrities do.
But I should have known better…
Jermaine was just being Jermaine–a man that’s sincerely passionate about being greasy. And if you can integrate that same type of “Jermaine enthusiasm” into your interactions with her, then you will begin to see a dramatic rise in your stock.
Tip #4- Be Consistent
Perhaps the greatest key to winning a woman’s heart is consistency. A woman has to know that you aren’t showing interest simply because you a) want to sleep with her, b) think she’s unattainable so you want to conquer her, or c) know that her parents work late, so you want to follow her home after school. (Sorry, I just found out that R. Kelly reads my column … I didn’t want him to feel left out.)
Unfortunately, the first two options occur rather frequently. As a result, a woman’s guard is naturally up when a man shows interest. Now it may take some time to overcome her innate wariness, but if your intentions are honorable, then you won’t mind putting in the extra time.
The Fly Guy Moral: Today’s message was more than just an explanation on how to “win a woman’s heart.” In all honesty, the outcome is far less important to me than your mindset going in. So if you’re really not sincere and just chasing her for kicks, then this message wasn’t for you. But if you ARE in fact ready to wholeheartedly pursue her, then I wish you all the luck in the world.
Now if you will excuse me … my Uncle Teddy just sent me an “it’s time for the percolator” text message. May God have mercy on that man’s soul.
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What’s a “percolator”?
I co-sign on #1, 3, & 4 being great tips. I’m an open book so a man paying attention and learning things, good & bad, about me without my having to be blatant about such things is definitely attractive, and it shows that he’s genuinely interested. As for sincerity & consistency, they are definitely two very important traits to me. Show me that you’re interested in more than finding out my preferred type of underwear or just conquering me. I’m a skeptical female, and I need daily, honest proof of your interest.
@ what?
Ha! Somebody doesn’t have friends from Detroit! It’s a dance, and yes, it’s hilarious to see people do it. They get the requisite mean mug and everything!
@ Reina
You don’t like spontaneity?
But I do agree that #1, 3, and 4 are the most important. If I had to choose top two, I would say #1 and #4, because showing that you care about what’s important to me and by being patiently consistent (especially after you’ve gotten the golden compass) leads credence to the fact that your intentions are sincere.
LOL, no I don’t really know anyone from Detroit…it would be funny to see that tho.
@ Just
I do appreciate spontaneity. It just doesn’t have the capability of capturing my heart.
OMG if every man read this and followed it purposefully, I wouldn’t feel so sickenened when I read the comments from lame on myspace, or watch a dude with a mouth full of golds tell me over and over again why it would be in my best interest to give him my number. you should sell this article around the world. maybe put it in a kanye west cd or something as a free gift.
This is a great article! Very well written and honest but not cheezy. I hope that all men can read this so they can adjust their approach. Sometimes it’s just sad!! They don’t have a clue! Glad that you do!
So, I see that nobody has posted. The inauguration is over. Get back to posting people!
We had to recover JAT! The amount of people in the DMV was crazy!
@ blue:
I know! I heard so many stories from former coworkers up there. It was hella cold, so I am not mad about staying in (relatively) warm FL.
On the day of I was so cold I had images of losing my hands. I was sure I was steadily losing circulation in them considering I couldn’t grip anything and they were numb. But I made it through.
Ayo it wasn’t that cold with a million people all around you. It was well worth it to be apart of history.
@ blaze:
Yeah, that’s the only regret that I have, but I did the most important thing when I cast my vote.
Anyway, the young dude is getting the boot. I don’t know how to tell him, because I don’t want to use the “It’s not you, it’s me” line, but it really is about me.
That, and I was not impressed with his plans for my bday. Surprisingly, I wasn’t upset, but I was def. not blown away.
Yeah J Happy Belated…I didnt get a chance to log on to holla at you. Sorry to hear things aren’t going well with the SO…Were the plans that wack?
How about no plans at all? And he was not properly dressed, so we missed our reservations because I made him change (big disagreement ensued). How about I got NAYTHAN, and I told him EVERY week since NOVEMBER that if he didn’t get me a present it was curtains for him?
Now, I know I can be ridiculous about my birthday. But I tell people that I am ridiculous about my birthday.
And he is/was not a SO. We were dating. We may have proceeded to that level had he put five minutes of thought towards my big day.
Well damn..playboy was really slippin. If you two were only dating then he really doesn’t need an formal break up…just slowly step away…he’ll get the point. Maybe his funds were tight..? He did find the time to spend the day with you though.. Im just sayin..you know I’m an advocate for the fellas.
@Blue
U got pics from your Inaug weekend?
****a formal
@ blaze:
I hope you get paid for all this sideline advocacy.
Funny thing is, if this was your homeboy talking about a girl that wasn’t putting in enough work, you would tell him not to waste time on ol’ girl. I’m just sayin…
Anywho, off I go back to rebuilding the roster. Although, I am not a fan of the roster thing. It’s too easy for me to get an eff you attitude towards everyone, even my starter, so I think I’m headed to the sideline…
J
I feel you, I just think cats be making cuts to soon sometime…rebuilding a roster takes a lot of time, energy and patience, especialy for the fellas since we usually have to sponsor the first few dates…im in the same situation. Feels like im going through the motions
@ Just
Happy Belated!
@ Reina:
Thanks! (You too blaze, for the B-day wishes)
Got any Superbowl plans? I’m thinking of hosting a shindig at my house, as soon as a figure out how to best mix my Christian and heathen friends.
@ Just
No. I’ll be treating it like it’s any other Sunday. I’m either going shopping or catching up on TV shows from earlier in the week.
@blaze
Yeah I have pics but they are still on my camera. I will get them off eventually I suppose. What about you?
Yeah I got my pics posted on my FB page
@blaze
Did you hit up a ball?
whycome I am not privy to anyone’s FB page? I am the unofficial FG stepchild? LOL
@JAT
I am not privy to anyone’s either…don’t worry, we can be stepchildren together.
J
Send me your email @ blaze1717@aol.com and I’ll give you my info
@Blue
Illinois Ball..U ?
@JAT
Happy Belated!
@Blaze
what up, playboy!
Happy belated JAT…what’s good fly ppl?
Thanks red & Chelz!
31 posts in 4 days?! Damn. I guess I’ll get back to work. Peace!
Hey everyone…
where is JAT? I want to tell her that I’m dating a fine azz Detroit man at the moment…
Chelz
What happened to Chico Debarge?
Where is everyone? I’ve had about the most depressing day at work. I need uplifting.
@ Chelsea:
I’ve been in and out. So you got an up north dude? This should be interesting…
@ blaze:
What’s up pimpin?
@ Blue:
Hey chica rica!
Hey Reina!
J
How are you? Did you let youngin know his services were no longer needed or will you give him another shot?
Reina
Whats up Chica? Hopefully your night will be better than the workday. Sip on some wine and turn on your boy Ne Yo.
@ Just/Blaze
I hope my night is better. I’m heading to my pole-dancing class soon. How are you guys?
@ Blaze
Did I read something incorrectly? Has your prior #1 slipped a few notches?
Reina
In good..fully recovered from last week. Yes that is true, #1 slot is back open unfortunately but I do some new strong candidates im taking a good look at.
So what made your day so depressing? Care to share…
@ Reina:
You know the pole dancing class here is like sold out for the next three months? You have to get on a waiting list (those damn slutty undergraduate FSU girls)
And you know blaze is fickle! ha, I kid, I KID!
@ blaze:
No, I haven’t officially let him know. It’s on my to -do list for this weekend. I’m a procrastiinator, but oh well.
@ blaze
I work in the financial market. If the economy has a bad day, so do I. It’s not going to healt itself soon, and that’s just depressing.
So is she still the roster or just fired?
@J
lol…nah, this one got a solid look. A “to do list”…damn.. I thought cats were informed they would be put on probation first?
@Reina
Lets just say she will be on a leave of absence for right now.
What’s up peeps?!
@ Blaze
I just cracked up at that.
Hi Moe!
What’s up Reina?! How’s life outside of the economy?
@ blaze:
SOs get put on probabtion. We were just dating. Plus, I have to put it on my list so that I actually will do it. Else I’d just let him hang in the balance until he figured out that I wasn’t calling, texting, etc.
And leave of absence? Dang, she must have messed up big time…
Hey Moe!
Hey JAT! What’s going on?
I’m finishing up work right now. How’s the new gig been treating you?
@ Moe
I have no life outside of the economy. Unless you’re talking about sleep, and that doesn’t qualify b/c my boss calls at 2AM. How’s your life?
It’s cool. It started out kinda slow because of the holidays. I had to do a lot of reading to get caught up on the program. But now we’re getting mad busy.
What up Moe
@J
U sound a little hesistant to cut ole boy off…regardless if you two were just dating or a SO, he still deserves the respect from you telling him face to face where you’re coming from. Haven’t we taught EC better than that?..lol
hey JAT!
@Reina
My life is good…no complaints. Now that football season is coming to a close…I can go back to being productive again…at least until September. lol
No life huh? Why do I find that hard to believe? You live in NY! I always find trouble to get into when I’m there.
@ Moe
Good trouble requires more time & attention than I have to share at the moment.
What’s up Blaze
@ Moe
But I have gained about 5 lbs. LOL
@Reina
There’s always time for trouble…good or bad. lol You know the saying…people make time for the things they really want to do.
@Reina
You gained 5 lbs?! Where? lol
@ blue:
You see how blaze is calling me out? As if I didn’t have the common decency to tell someone face to face. I would never stoop so low as a text message, phone call, etc, unlike some y-chromosome carriers….
@ blaze:
Don’t mistake laziness for reluctance. Plus, I’ve never ended a liason when I wasn’t a) pissed, b) tired of his BS, c) armed w/ loads of evidence that he was cheating, etc. Just saying “it’s been fun” is new to me, and it just seems like a big old cliche.
@ Moe
I’m really not sure. I think the scale’s lying. It’s prone to do that.
And I’m sure I’ll get around to getting in trouble soon. It doesn’t avoid me for too long.
@JAT
You’re unloading your pretend SO…and Chelsea is already venturing out after a quick stint with the college dude. Ya’ll change your men like you change shoes! lol
@Reina
The scale is lying huh? What do your clothes say? lol
@ Moe
Why must you bring those traitors into the conversation. If they are to be believed, the new pounds are in my thighs. However, I believe my clothes shrunk.
Your clothes shrunk? You need to submit a complaint to your dry cleaners. How dare they shrink the thigh section of every pair of pants you own!
Come to think of it…that’s pretty miraculous…unbelievable even. ;-)
@ Moe
Not EVERY pair. Just a couple of my slacks. This just gives me a reason to shop.
So how’s your search for eye candy going?
@Reina
I live in the DC area…there’s limitless eye candy! Eye candy with a good attitude? Now that’s a whole different challenge in itself.
WHats up lurkers
hey blaze
@J
Good morning.Whats good with you? The entire city here is covered in ice.
@ blaze:
(cue bruh’man) nuthin, just chillin. It’s a slow work day, and I am not in a rush to ask my boss for more work.
I heard about that crazy weather. Hope you have a lot of hot cocoa.
@J
Limited on hot cocoa and grub…up in this piece eating toast..I didnt think it was going to be this bad.
Have you reconsidered keeping youngin on the team? If not what is your game plan towards building a new squad?
@ blaze:
Sorry about your food situation. Maybe the #2 chick can catch the MTA over and bring some food and body heat ;-)
As for the youngin, he’s pretty much going to get the boot. He would have to pull a mighty fine rabbit out of his hat in order to stay, and I don’t see that happening between now and Saturday.
I don’t think I’m gonna rebuild my roster at this time. I really think it would be in my best interest to just be by myself for a little bit.
@ J
LOL…Nah ma, you’re going to have to play my #2 today. I might take a break like you..wait for the weather to break before I rebuild. Plus two possible prospects lost some ground by saying they’ll call a cat back after the Biggest Loser and American Idol respectively…WTF?
Never get between a reality TV junkie and their program. My mother will not talk between the hours of 8 and 11pm most days because of whatever reality program of hers is on.
I did read this blog last year that said that Valentine’s day is D-Day for playas, that you either have to pick one chick and settle down, or break up and start over. Maybe you should wait so that you have the spring and summer without a major holiday to cause some static.
@J
Thats cool but that’s one example how women lose ground on the depth chart. While you’re watching singing rejects and cats trying to lose weight, someone else is putting in their bid gaining ground….lol. That’s the difference of getting the monday morning coffee slot and a fri night date.
Hello people!
@ Blaze
Thanks for checking out my blog. At least, I think that was you.
Reina
Hola Chica..Yeah that was me. I’ll def continue to support…. Nice blog. I like your candidness
Hey Reina!
I checked out your blog a while back. I think I’ll go take a peek…
@ blaze:
All this work these ladies have to put in for you. Sheesh, I know I am not ready for a relationship! I’ve been there, done that on trying to show a dude that I’m willing to put in the work to be numero uno, and never again! My grandmother told me to find a man that loves me more than I love him, and since she’s survived two husbands, and each one had more going for him than the last, I think I’ll take her advice.
@J
Its work on both sides…we all put in time. Askng for a convo between 8-11pm isn’t asking for too much. And how can you guage if a brother is into you more than you are into him? Is it based on what he gets you for your birthday? If I’m not your SO I prolly would’ve gave you a happy b-day text and kept it moving. Anything more is for SO’s and cats who get access to the golden compass.
@ blaze:
ha ha ha. My bday is the ONLY day I am neurotic about. I told him it was important, and I don’t fuss about ANYTHING else, so he should have done something.
Anyway, I’ll be in DC this weekend for the Sunday’s Best Audition.
@J
Do you care to elaborate on what is Sunday’s Best Audition? Are you an artist?
BET gospel show. I sing, been putting it on the back burner for years, and am starting to see what I can do as far as making some money off of it (even if it is just doing background vocals). I need to get my performance chops up there, so I thought this would be a good place to start because of the talent scouts that will be at the auditions.
^^ performance chops up
Interesting…Sounds like a great opportunity. When do you have get in town? Maybe we can meet for a morning coffee..lol?
@ Blaze
Thank you sir. I’ve only had the site for about two weeks. We’ll see if I have enough topics to chatter on about.
@ Just
C’mon by! I like feedback. Good luck on the audition, too.
@ blaze:
it’ll have to be afternoon coffee, it you can spare a slot on Saturday. I doubt you want to arise in the wee hours of Superbowl Sunday.
@ Reina:
Thanks!
@Reina
Sounds like you live enough of an interesting life you have some things to write about. All in all you’re off to a great start…I’ll upload a pic later today
@J
In all seriousness, just let me know when you get in town and what time works best for you. My weekend is open.
Hey all!
@blaze
This ice is crazy.
And I think your prospects actually told you a lot about where you are on their totem pole because I do believe that if you were high they would scrap the shows to talk. I would gauge you at the middle with them because 1. they picked up the phone (if you were really low they wouldn’t have even done that) and 2. if you were high…see above.
@ blue:
afternoon chica! I didn’t want to say it, but at least you let blaze know. However, there was a point in my life that if a dude called me during a Michigan football game, I would have blown up like a nuclear reactor. I’ve since mellowed out though.
@Blue
Oh damn I step away for a minute only to come back to see you taking swipes with J cosigning in the back…OK…well these are the same ones vying for the Fri and Sat nights slots so lets not get it confused..but I see where you were trying to come from but um…no.
@J
We all know where you stand with your dating buddy and how he acknowledges (or not) birthdays so we need not to be cosigning…maybe if he got a glimpes at the dusty compass he might’ve tightened you up..j/k
@ blaze:
Dusty? ha! that’s funny. Well, better dusty by choice than high and dry because you can’t compete with American Idol.
@J
LMAO…ehh ok..well damn..good one. I need a moment for that one
Aiight…first off this particular one alreadt locked Friday in the books with me, which I usually dont do that early in the week. I like to touch base early in the week, convo, see where there heads at…u know prep work upfront, so I can what level I want to take it to on Fri or if I need to just cancel and go with the one talking good instead of watching American Idol. Ya feel me?
Uh huh. If that’s what you wanna tell yourself. ;-)
@J
Now if you would’ve done the right type of prep work upfront youngin’ would’ve tightened u up. He was prolly at the crib watching the Real Chance of Love instead of out buying a b-day gift for his dating buddy.
*eats her popcorn*
@ blaze:
Substitute guitar hero for that wack show and you’re probably right!
@J
I try to school you homegirl…you can’t hold it hostage and expect to collect the ransom..something has got to give.
@ blaze:
My compass is not an equal opportunity employer. There is a selection process, and if you aren’t willing to go through it, then you don’t deserve the job. That’s the problem nowadays, broads are throwing around the cookie and diminishing its value. It means something for me to go there w/ a man, and it should mean something to him as well, not just getting his jollies off. I told him how to get the compass, he didn’t want to do it and/or thought I wasn’t serious, so that’s his fault.
@J
I hear you. So you gave him the blueprint on how to get the compass and he still didn’t want it? Well damn…maybe the value has diminished….j/k
@J
Glad we were on the same thought pattern, :-)
@blaze
I’m not taking swipes just letting you know what that says to me with the information I had at the time.
@ blaze:
Who you tellin! I thought I could train him, but I don’t have the patience and I’m looking for something that’s pretty much ready off of the shelf.
@Blue
No problem..I appreciate the feedback. So when are you going to fill us in on some of your dating adventures?
@J
“I thought I could train him”….Sounds like it’s time for you to move to a grown man who’s already up and running..
@blaze
Hmm there is quite a unique combo of things that prevent me from doing that. The main one being that I don’t have any dating adventures.
This is a real unfortnate story:
http://news.aol.com/article/los-angeles-shooting-murders/319604
@ blaze:
I read about that. That is both saddening and infuriating! How dare he kill his family! I mean, seriously, people need to get a grip. Being poor sucks, but you can get back on your feet. Shoot, my mother and stepfather raised 6 kids and they were dirt broke. I am so grateful that neither of them even thought to do some foolishness like that.
@J
I agree… it’s just a temporary lifestyle change but some people see it as an end all…They let their status or class define who they are and when its lost, some can’t handle it. Nothing could never justify murdering your own family..two set of twins? Thats disheartening…
Things are going to get alot worse before they get better. Congress isn’t going to let Obama pass any new stimulus packages easily to boost the economy or to create new gigs..
I think Congress will eventually pass a stimulus, but they will haggle and try to grandstand for power. I don’t think that it will help.
Did you read about the SEC asking for more money to fight fraud? that is so ridiculous. They are very well funded, and have an extremely large staff. THey simply didn’t want to fight fraud because they were making money hand over first. They also squashed the efforts of smaller, less well funded agencies to discover fraud going on. I think we need to write our Congress people and tell them not to give another red cent to the SEC until they actually do their job.
@J
SEC is the cause of most of this financial breakdown…
Hey fly guy I need tips to win his heart