Suspicious Dating Patterns- Vol. 1

WOW….thats a good one. I dont think I’ve ever thought about it like that.

I usually use this one when I’m just tryna end the convo and get in the house to actually (gasp) GET SETTLED. I’ll usually call him back after 30mins or so…

but I WILL be on the look out for this one from now on. Thanks for adding to my suspicion FG! lol…

I would never think of this as suspicious behaviour because I do it all the time. But it’s different for me because I usually don’t talk and drive (illegal here without a headset) but if I do then I have to get my daughter out of the car, check the mail, and get settled. Definitely something I will keep in mind though.

but…this only applies as a warning if he never calls you back after getting “settled,” right…?

-the professional
http://professionally-fabulous.com

@Miss

OUR PICS ARE BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

And how come you gotta wear glasses just cuz I’M wearing glasses? lmao…j/k…i’m mad you giving somebody the HEAVY side-eye!

So if he gets in the house before hanging up, then there’s no need for suspicion?

This happened to me fairly recently, and I thought I was just being paranoid.

@Reina

if he doesn’t hang up but suddenly speaks in hushed tones, whispering, you actually dont hear the door open or alarm chime, etc, then you should be worried, me thinks…cuz he just may be doin a B&E…or lives with his mama/wife ‘temporarily’…

am i way off?

Chelsea really isn’t an option for me. lol.

whats not an option? the glasses or the side eye? lmao…

I think i’m kinda with the professional if he doesn’t call back that is a huge indication that something is up. is a married man really going to call you back while in the house with his wife?

Chelsea the glasses. Unless I want to walk into a door.

@Miss

oh ok…yeah. Walking into a door is NOT a good look…

LOL @ Chelz

If he does any of that, I won’t be worrying rather than deleting his information from my phone.

See this is why LDRs can’t work. I can’t drive by the house and confirm my suspicions.

Lmao@drive-by & confirming suspicions.

Mya did us a favor by makin the song ‘Ridin’…I haven’t done a drive-by in a loooooooong time…lol.

But yeah, I was just pointing some additional suspicious behavior that goes beyond him just hanging up as he’s pulling up to the house.

I agree with the professional on that one. I really hate when ppl do that: say they’re gonna call you right back but it might be houuuurs before they do UGH.

@ Fab

I can’t be mad at that as I am the worst at calling people back or even replying to texts. I have other things on my mind, and I just forget.

Reina,
You dont reply to txts either? dios mio! unacceptable!!

im not a great caller-backer, but i am an immediate text-returner!

shame o you Reina!

@ FG:

Boooo! For the next suspicious behavior, you could actually reveal something. Anyone who doesn’t know this is just slackin on their pimping.

@ everyone:

I pretty good about returning calls and texts, so if you don’t hear from me within a reasonable time frame, that means I don’t want to deal with you. If I’m busy, I’ll just tell you that I’ll get back to you at a specific time.

@Reina
“I have other things on my mind, and I just forget.”

*cough* ADD ;-p

lmao@Fema

Happy Friday

Happy Friday, Nean!
*wonders where nish is*

Fly… You wrong for that one cuz…

I for one, can’t get with this and with my luck this will make life a little more difficult for me at some point…

I do this ALL the time. I live alone. There’s no wifey, drama, or cover up involved. I don’t like to walk into my crib on the phone. Business keep me on the cell all day. When I get home, the moment I pull up in the driveway I shut the cell off for a few hours. And if I’m on the phone with you when I pull up, best to believe I’m gonna tell you — I just pulled up, let me hit you back later. When I turn the phone back on , 95% of the time I’ll hit you back. I want to listen to my house phone messages, turn on ESPN, get dinner started, perhaps catch Michael Basden on the radio. I’m not tryin to carry the same hand to ear posture from the day to the evening. And now, for this, a guy is considered suspect? I can’t be the only person who does this…

@ Real:

I’m all for having me time. But my issue is when you terminate the call susiciously. Yeah, get your down time, unwind, all that. But if you never ever EVER can talk as you’re walking in the house then something is wrong. And really, if you have your nightly after work ritual, then at some point you should figure out not to call when you’re on teh way home, and your girl should know that you need a lil bit of time to yourself right after work.

Also, everytime you come in the house is not right after work. Just saying…

lol@JAT

ODR…we don’t believe you. You need more ppl.

FG is gon have everybody side eyeing the hell outta ppl when they hit you with ‘lemme call you back after I get settled in…’

All together now…’Negro, PLEASE!’

@Reina
I’m bad at calling people back too. I just hate talking on my cell in public – I think it’s rude. Plus my hearing sucks and I can never hear shit. I’ll even let calls go to voicemail just cuz I’m out somewhere and can’t deal. I’d rather text. Now texting I get back to you right away.

@FG
I think it can be suspicious behavior if it’s repetitive, and if there’s other red flags. But sometimes people just have routines and you can’t fault that. Or, they have bags and shit to carry in the house and the last thing they want to do is drop their $300 iPhone on the concrete steps again.

I do this ALL the time…I actually just walked in the door and told my bf I would call him back tomorrow bc i just got home and wanted to get settled lol. I can see how it would be suspicious though.

@ Chelsea

It’s all good. Apparently I’m the minority, which is cool with me…

@Just a thought

Change my routine for what? Because I don’t like to walk in my crib on the phone that means I should’nt use my cell on the long ride home? Whatever… I’ll take the sideways looks. I’m not doing anything wrong. The loss will be to the paranoid person on the other end of the phone… lol…

Well I believe that this behavior is very suspicious to a degree. My guy does it about 50-50 percent of the time, not just when he’s “entering his home” but also when he’s going to work, library, etc. The relationship is fairly new, so I decided 2 weeks ago that the next time it happens I’m going to call him on it and wouldn’t you know it hasn’t occured since…lol.

@ Fab/Chelz/Songbird

I reply to texts…if I’m bored. I forget! (Shut up, And1) If you’re important, you’ll enter my mind soon, and I’ll realize that I hadn’t replied to you. Phone calls…eh…you may have to call me back.

@Reina

remind me to never text or call you…i’ll just send up smoke signals if I need you….

@ Chelsea

Make sure it’s in the form of a crown. LOL

How are you, Chica? Still good in the relationship?

@Reina

a CROWN? lol…is that like your version of the ‘Bat Signal’? lmao..

and yes, he and I are doing very well although he went outta town this weekend, so we couldn’t see each other.

how bout u n ur man? i got the impression last week that your single again…am I way off?

@ Chelsea

You are not off at all. I am single. There is no man, ma’am, except for Santa Claus maybe?

Morning chicas!
Reina,
I’m with you on the phone calls. I usually reply to txts though unless you’re being ignored lol
chelz,
Hi!

@Reina

What happened?

Hey Fab! You look super cute in ur pic!

Thanks, chelz! I was at the baptism for the newest love in my life (my bff’s baby boy, my godson). He’s so cute!

awww…lol! lol@newest love in my life…babies always hold a special place huh?

@ Chelsea

Differences of opinion.

@ Fab

*bows* I’m honored to be in your presence, Miss I Bring Men To Their Knees.

reina,
Ms who? Have you been drinking this early, chica?
hehe

Holy Moly! My job just handed out HOLIDAY BONUS CHECKS!

WHOO-HOO!!!

@ Fab

Share your powers! Do you know how easy my love life would be if I could do what you do? I have events coming up that require a date. SHARE MUJER!

Chelz,
You get bonus checks?! We dont

@Fab

yeah, i was shocked! I haven’t been here that long so I was pretty sure I wasnt getting one, but lo and behold, the Christmas spirit was upon them!

Oh yeah, and I move on WEDNESDAY!!! yay me! 09 is lookin like its gonna be my year!

wait…let me find out Fabie has men falling at her feet…

somebody needs to explain this to me…

@ Chelsea

Felicidades on the great things occurring in your life, Chica!

As for Fab, all I know is that she brought a man to his knees in a non-sexual manner. I need that power, but she’s not telling HOW she did it.

**elbows Fab**

spill the beans, lady!

@Reina

thanks mama…its about time things go my way! I’ve had my share of downs…now things are lookin UP!

Congrats, chelz! Celebrate for all of us!
Reina,
there is nothing to tell! *elbows reina* I dont even have a man..sigh

@ Fab

Fine, Fab. Be stingy. What happened to us women sticking together?

@ Chels:

Congrats!

@ Reina:

I’d gotten the feeling that you were single, but I refrained from being super duper nosy, like some other people (you know who you are). But I know you’re not tripping because you are a pimptastic playa of infinte proportions, and a worthy one will come around shortly….

@fabie:

I feel you on how babies can capture your heart. I knew the moment I laid eyes on my niece that I was going to spoil her for life. I had the same feeling with my youngest nephew, but the greedy sucker drank ALL 24 oz of my smoothie when I wasn’t paying attention, so he is on my list.

Hey Everyone!

@ JustA

Pimptastic playa of infinte proportions? *pops collar* Why, thank you.

How are you today?

@ Reina:

I’m good! Great actually, in spite of the fact that my professor wanted me to revise both of my papers by 3 pm today. But, I’m done, so yippee!

@ blue:

Hey!

@ JustA

Girl, you’re ahead of the curve.

Hi blue!

@ everyone

What’s admissible and what isn’t when it comes to accusing someone of cheating? If I break into his email and find incriminating material dating 3 months back, can I use that though I obtained it through sneaky measures. What can’t I use?

Hey blue!
Where have you been?
Just,
both of them? that sucks but at least you got it done and dont have to bother anymore.
Reina,
“Pimptastic playa” well, my hats off to you, madame!

@JAT
‘…but the greedy sucker drank ALL 24 oz of my smoothie when I wasn’t paying attention, so he is on my list.’

lmao! girl you are too much! lmao@on my list…noooooooooo! Not the list!

@Reina

it is ALL admissible! all evidence stands in the court of love. Doesn’t matter how you got it, the point is you got it. But beware…he WILL try to discount it because you got it in a sneaky way…don’t let him!

@Fab

Yeah, around. Hoping to make a regular comeback soon…when everything falls back into place

@Reina and Chelz

Yeah he will def. bring up the “why don’t you trust me…we have a bigger problem if you don’t trust me” mess

@ Reina:

I’m usually not one for electronic breaking and entering, but evidence is evidence. He gave you probable cause to conduct the search, so anything procured is admissable because inevitably, he would have done something to lead to the discovery of his cheating. And 3 months? Dude has been doin dirt for a while, so he really has no ground to stand on.

I got a crowbar you can borrow if you want to pull a jazmine sullivan.

@ chelsea:

yes, that greedy joker is on my list. I shouldn’t have to guard my food around a two year old.

Just,
lol he’s only 2? oh yes, they eat EVERYTHING!
Reina,
I would think that any evidence is admissible. But you shouldnt reveal your sources because he will try and turn that against you instead of addressing the issue at hand. (Some) Men are very good at playing the victim and blaming everyone but themselves.

@ Fabie:

My other nephews weren’t quite as voracious as this one. I swear he stuck a chicken leg in his mouth and pulled out nothing but bone. Imma tell his mother to put him in little league or pee wee football before he blows up like a house.

You ain’t never lied about men playing the victim and blaming everyone but themselves. But watch, the XYers will come in here blazing talking about how we’re denigrating men and that women do just as much dirt. it’s not true, but that won’t stop them from saying it.

@blue

hey!!

@everyone

men will ALWAYS try to get the heat off them and onto you! Case in point

You: Why do you have text messages from your ex thanking her for such a good time last weekend?

Him: huh?

You: You heard me! You’re texting her and you have been for the past 3 months!

Him: Wait…you went thru my phone? You read my texts?

You: YES! And you’re CHEATING!

Him: Naw, forget all that…you went thru my PHONE? See…THAT’S why I don’t tell you nothing! You always snooping and then jumping to conclusions! That’s why I spend time with other women. You be trippin all the time. **grabs jacket** Call me when you get you sh*t together!

**slams door**

@ Chicas

LOL This is hypothetical, but I’m glad youse got my back. LOL I’m much too lazy to go on an electronic scavenger hunt, and I would have serious issues if a guy broke into my Inbox and presented something as evidence. I’d probably break up with him in indignation. However, if I were really suspicious of a guy and he kept avoiding my questions, then nothing is barred. And his saying “I don’t trust him” would be of no consequence because the relationship would be over depending on what I find. I wouldn’t reveal my cards, though, until I was ready to make the final decision.

@ chelsea:

LOL, I know right? Or the classic, “it wasn’t me. I was at so and so’s house, so you couldn’t have seen me at that place with that girl.

Chelz! you couldnt have scripted it better! *bravo*
Just,
lmao, at 2? uhh me thinks it’s a lil early…just a lil bit.
XYers can say what they want but we all know how men do it! It’s not like we’re lying.

@JAT

or…’you know my cousin/brother/uncle/dad/friend be havin my car…if he was at that girl house, then that’s HIS business!’

negro…PUH-LEZE!

@ Chelsea

LOL That’s sharply accurate, but they always come back once realization hits that we will not be calling & begging for his return.

Yes, they come back and say “well, if WE werent having problems, I wouldnt be over there. I only go over to talk about US”
uh huh, riiiite!

@Reina

yaeh, cuz when you DON’T call, then he’s all ‘so you just gon let US go like that? All over some text messages? We been thru so much together baby…we can make it thru this. Lets leave all that in the past’

TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT (since men LOVE Beyonce so much, I thought this would be an appropriate time to reference her..)

@Fabie

and to that I say, ‘fool…WE aren’t having any problems…YOU are the one with the issues, so YOU need to spend some time by YOURself figuring them out!’

It wasn’t WE when YOU were getting YOUR jollies off with Chocolate Thunder at the strip club, now was it?

chelz,
You did NOT say “chocolate thunder”??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

@ Fab

I don’t know if we should be laughing with Chelsea. When this day is over, she goes home to the guy in the picture, and we go home to Cold Stone.

Reina,
Oh snap, you’re so right! I prefer Edy’s myself *crying*. Thanks for the reminder.

@ fabie:

Soooo true! But really, dudes can’t even front like their talking to another chick about their relationship problems (if in fact, they do more than just complain to the other woman) is really about anything besides trying to get in some new cooch.

@ reina:

I’m more of a steak and potatoes girl myself. Give me a simple starch or some pizza, and I eat my blues away.

@Reina

correction- i do not go home to the Mutant…he lives a lil ways away, so we only see each other once or twice a week. And please be reminded this is a fairly new relationship. I am still allowed to talk about the no-good ways of these men since their behavior and faults are still fresh in my head.

That is all.

And Cold Stone is the SH*T! B&J is second, Edy’s a close third and Dove Bars round it out in 4th place. Thank you!

@Jat

ooooooooooooohhhh…girl…give me some mashed potatoes, a pizza, some chicken alfredo, or some fried rice and my problems cease to exist!

I am a starch girl…and I am a good steak lover!

You know, we really should do some self-evaluating. This “men or food” is just not constructive.

That being said, a rib eye with A1 and a loaded baked potato would erase every last of my worries. Give me a vanilla cupcake for dessert, and that man will be a distant memory.

LOL pesto chicken pasta and dulce de leche cheesecake/pineapple upside down cake/tres leches cake on the side, please!

or better yet, prime rib!!!!! I’m done lol

@ Fab

LMAO So any cake will suffice, huh?

Chilli’s cajun chicken pasta, extra alfredo sauce, extra garlic bread, an apple martini and some red velvet cake/peach cobbler for dessert and I won’t even remember my own NAME, let alone the foolishness of some man…

hmmm…why did I think of that? Now i’m yearning…damn all of youse!

I think its funny that you ladies dream up scenarios strictly for the purpose of getting mad at men.

“What happens if he slapped me?”
“Oh it’d be on!”
“You know it girl! We’d have your back!”
“Girl, whats his address? Lets go get him TODAY!”

Reina,
No chocolate cake…yuck! But anything else, perhaps

@And1 — You DAMNED RIGHT!!! LMAO

@ Preston and And1:

Here y’all go… LOL

And1 and his co-signer *side eye*
What does violence have to do with this?! hmmm we didnt take it there!

And for the record, I don’t have to imagine what would happen to a dude if he laid his hands on me, nor do I get mad at the thought. In the event that a man loses his mind, he will end up in jail, no questions asked, no apologies, no big emotional scenes.

@ fabie:

Girl you know they have to make it seem like our reactions to their foolishness are uncalled for, so they have to go way out in left field.

Just,
Yep, thats what i thought. And 1 just came out of nowhere.
Obviously, Man-whore was lurking! aha!

@ Fab

No chocolate? Blasphemer! I don’t know if I can hang out with you next month.

lmao@And1 and Preston

gotta come in with a bang. And yes, if I think about a senario too hard, I WILL get angry and exact vengenance JUST IN CASE a ni**a THINK about stepping outta line…

nothing like a lil preventative measures right ladies?

Pres,
I think the problem here is that so many of our women seem to be caught up in the negative connotation associated with the phrase “the other woman.” Why? You may not be THE woman but you’re the OTHER woman and is that really SO bad? Acceptance of “mistress” status may be just what you need to keep from committing electronic B & E, among other crimes, and maybe even keep more couples together.
Q.E.D.

@and1 — and interesting point. The most successful teams have stars — secondary guys and role players. Everyone knowing their role leads to harmony…and in the sports world…victory.

LMAO

Obviously, someone had his Wheaties this morning. You just wait.

@ And1 and Preston:

Does this paradigm of relationships as team effort include male second, third, fourth etc. stringers? Maybe acceptance that you may be the starter, but if you cut up like AI you will be temporarily benched, will help to keep men from acting up as well.

@Preston/And1 (side eye of death)

boy, you KNOW you trippin! Know you’re role?

If YOU guys were second string I KNOW for a fact you would not be happy. EVERYBODY wanna be the MVP. Everybody want the fame and the title, not to mention the perks.

I am even about to be nobody’s ‘just in case’…either way you gon get a crime committed against your person/property. Aint no way around it

@Pres
Exactly. Not everyone can be a starter. Sometimes you just gotta know your role and perform to the capacity of the position you’ve been given. And of course, watch out for that trade deadline.

@JAT — Sure, it can work both ways. You ladies will be at a disadvantage though simply because there are greater numbers of women than men. So if he rides the pine too long, he may get a 10-day contract offer from another team.

But no, I have no problem with the inverse of this analogy. I have no fear of losing my starting spot. LOL

“I know my role, and I play it well…” –Lil Wayne (Mr. Carter)

And1/Preston

Kings and dukes were usually the ones that had mistresses, and that’s because mistresses are expensive. Their homes, travel, clothing, beauty upkeep all sponsored by the adulterer. Now, if either of you have money that long, then you may approach me with such an offer and allow me to put you into consideration. Otherwise, kick that BS to a smaller-minded female b/c if I ever find out I’m “one of more than one”, I will deplete, liquidate, and void every asset you may have.

@EC

can i get an amen from my sistas please? Rev. Reina has taken the congregation to CHUUUCH in here this Monday, and I feel the spirit of the High Maintenance Woman all up and threw this house of ‘wisship’ (not worship) today!

Preach on Sista Snobby Moneybags! We don’t want no scrubs! Bills, bills, bills…I can do BAAAAAAAAAAAD all by myself! If you like it, PAY FOR IT! Hallelujah!

@Reina
Or in other words, “if the money’s right…”

AMEN!
Prez,
I know you didnt just say that you wouldnt have any problems as long as you’re in the starting spot. Survey saud “womp, that’s a LIE”. Show me a man that likes to know he’s not being the best…yes, i’m waiting *tapping foot*

@ Reina:

Amen!

@ And1:

See, there you go failing to realize that, if a woman is going to be reduced to a commodity, not an euqal partner, then it is in her best interests to try to replace the lost emotional equity with financial equity. Women don’t feel good about being number 2-n, but if you are going to settle for that, then you need to recoup your losses.

And every dude swears that they deserve to be a starter. You know you’re more like Freddie Mitchell. LOL…

Ooops, the last part of #104 is directed at Preston.

@And1 — LMAO — since we’re using sports analogies….you’re on fire!

@Reina/Fabie — whoa, whoa, whoa — you don’t get everything the #1 gets. That is the ESSENCE of knowing your role. Luke Walton is not gonna get the ball as much as Kobe Bryant. That’s one of the main things that DEFINES his role. Conversely though, when the Lakers lose at the buzzer or have a few bad games—NO ONE blames Luke Walton!! He can go home and relax. No radio station is gonna bad mouth him. No one will mention him on ESPN — It’s ALL KOBE’S FAULT. He can sleep like a baby. It’s one of the GOOD parts to not being number one.

Treating every other one of your women like they’re #1 is the antithesis of what AND1 and I are saying. Can’t have too many chiefs and not enough indians…

And1,
Even without bringing money into this, aint no way in the world i’d be happy to be anything other than #1! NEVER! Shame on you to even suggest such a thing…shame!

@fab
Reina suggested it. I was just paraphrasing.

And1,
Just like a man…turn around and point to the woman! aha!

@Preston
Thats a great point about Luke Walton. A Luke Walton can exist b/c there’s a Kobe to save the day. So, for all you ladies that are so intent on being the MVP, you might be making it easier on the lady thats ok with playing the background until its her turn to get on the court.

But, pres, I’d much rather have them be more like an Odom. Good enough to start for other teams, just not mine.

@Fab
Just like a woman…more interested in placing blame than figuring out the truth. Ahem!

Plus a woman will never know if she’s the first or third stringer on the team. As long as a man keeps his game tight, a woman will never be privy to a depth chart.

@EVERYONE – I actually meant, “too many cooks in the kitchen…” and NOT “too many chiefs…”

Indians are a fine and peace loving people.

–Thank you

@ my ladies

*bows* Thank you.

@ And1

I said “into consideration.” I’ve yet to meet a man with money long enough to allow me to be anything other than numero uno. This is not confirmation that I will play the secondary, but if you’re going to use me a possession, do believe that I will be compensated highly enough that your #1 will notice.

@ Preston

Boy, stop playing. The issue is most of those alleged chiefs aren’t qualified to have such a position. Let me educate you about chiefs. They’re rare, and they’re born to the position. They never need to prove their prowess verbally as their actions and the voices of their followers speak for them. Unless either of you can provide some “people” to support your authority to speak of having a successful second string, i.e. tribe, please shut up and sit down.

Well excuse some of us, we dont actually have MVPs and men in waiting, Luke Wilson/Watson/Whatever. hmpf, maybe we should!

“I know for a fact George had a lot of girls
spread out from state from state around the world
As long as he was smart and kept his girls in check
Made sure I never saw them and showed me respect
He didn’t have to be loyal, like men should be
I don’t care about the other girls, just be good to me!” — MC Lyte (Poor Georgie)

Preston,
get outta here with that quote! The problem is that most men cannot keep women in check. If the other woman chooses to reveal who she is, she will find a way. If i was the other woman, i know I would!
MC Lyte needs to learn what the word respect means.

*Where is nisha? She’s been missing aroung those parts lately hmmm*

Who got all Mormon up in here?! Multiple women? I think not! Although, I must admit the thought of multiple men doesn’t sound so bad… LOL

The whole multiples thing only works for a little while. Eventually someone WILL get tired of it, want more or want out, and that’ll be the end of that.

Oh, and by the way? Junior’s Strawberry Cheesecake FTW!

Songbird, where you been, chica?! Hope all is well.

Men love this fantasy of multiple women, etc. etc. Especially black men, because of the ridiculous odds. If ever man that talked big junk didn’t end up having his nose wide open for some women, I would say a plague on all their houses.

Hey Fabie! I’m doing alright Been working way too hard, and going on vacation Tuesday! For 2 weeks… I’m so excited!

Hope all’s well with you too – congrats new godmama