She Said She Liked My…Crotch?
Dec 23rd, 2008 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: Fly Perspectives
Comments (73)
After a long day of pushing myself creatively, I decided to step away from the computer and head to one of my favorite lounges to have a drink. So my cousin and I drove over, but to our surprise, the place was unusually packed for a Monday night. Normally this would have upset me—since I don’t like being around a lot of people when I’m trying to relax –but tonight was different.
As I posted up by the bar, and ordered my customary Woodford Reserve with a splash of ginger ale, I caught the eye of this incredibly beautiful woman. I initially tried to ignore the mutual attraction between us, but every time I looked up, there she was … sipping on her martini and smiling at yours truly. I flashed a smile back, but before I could even make my next move, she walked over and parked right next to me.
“Hi, I’m Brandy,” she said while leaning in close, further relaying her interest.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you Brandy,” I politely offered, still keeping my cool.
“I hope this isn’t too forward,” she continued. “But I saw you, and couldn’t take my eyes off of your beautiful smile. But now that I’m over here, I realize that you have something about you that’s even more beautiful.”
(This girl was really trying to work me.) “And what’s that Brandy?”
She leaned in even closer, and whispered in my ear. “Your crotch,” she playfully teased. “The bulge in your pants lets me know that you really know how to please a woman.”
An awkward silence ensued, accompanied by an even more awkward smile. Now at this point, I’ve never had someone publicly compliment my crotch, so I was faced with a dilemma. Should I:
(a). Return the favor by complimenting one of her body parts?
“You know baby, it’s funny you say that. When I spotted you from across the room, I was thinking to myself that your perky breasts are two of the most symmetrical breasts that I have ever seen in my life. I mean they are perfect in every way.”
(b). Acknowledge the compliment and give it credence.
“I’m glad you noticed. I come from a long line of bulging men. My dad, my granddad, and even his father all had big crotches.”
Or (c). Politely excuse myself.
“I’m sorry, but I have to run. I think I left a pot of hot dog water sitting on the stove at home. And you know how that stuff can stink if you leave it sitting there too long.”
I know there are some men out there who believe I’m ignoring a fourth option. That’s the option where I take her home with me, but that was never really in play here. I ended up going with the Option C, and politely excused myself.
Why you may ask?
Because at this point in my life, I’m smart enough to know that if someone is that sexually forward in her introduction, then that’s probably not the cup of hot water that I should be sticking my tea bag in (get your mind out of the gutter … that was a metaphor for life.)
With that being said, I was struck by the fact that one of the first things that she noticed was my “crotch.” That was new to me, but it did provide me with the Fly Question of the Day.
What is the first thing that you notice when you meet someone new? (Sorry…crotch did not make this list.)
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How ladylike.
His voice and the words he chooses to use is the first thing I notice when introduce to a male. If not that then it is his cufflinks. I love a man that wears cufflinks. :)
I would say that the first thing I notice about a man is his stance/posture. I like for my man 2 stand tall or upright, it shows a sense of pride or confidence on his part…
First Thing I notice about a woman is her eyes and jaw structure. I know its weird but I love a nice jaw line. To me it shows strength.
HAHAHA!!! Wow she was very bold! I think it’s kinda cute, not the fact that she was bold but the fact that it was sort of a role reversal b/c usually we’d expect crap like that from men. HOWEVER…it was very forward & unladylike…
Hmmmm….The first things I notice about a new guy is probably his smile, his scent & the type of watch he wears…LOL…I know that sounds weird but TRUST me watches speak in multitudes!!!!! LOL
@ODARA
what does a watch tell you? and what type of watch typically catches your attention
“I’m glad you noticed. I come from a long line of bulging men. My dad, my granddad, and even his father all had big crotches.”
Did she really say CROTCH? Who says Crotch? That word should be Null and Void!FG this answer option made me almost spit my coffee out on my computer. Extremely comedic! Thanks for the chuckle.
Now, to answer the post I usually notice what a guy is wearing first. second, the way he speaks and his demeanor.
Secondly FG, What kind of pants were you wearing to have your man zone noticed????
I see men all day everyday and very rarely can I see print of his member!
See its chicks like her that make it hard for women to walk around with respect for themselves to actually get a decent man, now men expect all girls (ugly or not) to act like straight sluts, cuz that was a slutty move in my opinion….anyway, what i see first in a guy is his swag (hate that word) but he gotta be cool and THEN a good looking face….
@JaneanAriel,
Glad I could give you a morning laugh. As far as my pants go…
Well, I hope I answered your question ;-)
Seriously though, I think it had less to do with actually seeing a “bulge,” and more to do with her thinking that that’s what a man wants to hear.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m too forward, but this has confirmed that no, I am not. I have a LONG way to go. Nothing against the female. I mean I respect her drive. She saw something she wanted, and she went after it! Women Empowerment! LOL
Seriously though, FG, what kind of magnetism do you have? Women give you their panties, compliment your package…
As for the question, I notice his smile and his posture. Confidence is appealing, and good teeth are indicative of a number of things.
@ Nean
I blame it on this skinny jeans phenomenon that I really REALLY want to stop.
Is this what our society has come to? What kind of fraganackle bull is this?!?! “I like your crotch”?? Forreal?? Women like that make it harder for real women to be taken seriously.
Anyway, the 1st thing I notice is hair. I love the brothas that roc the locs! I’m also attracted to dark men. If he’s blacker than a trillion midnights I love it! Nice eyes and a smile are the killer. LOL.
@darkcapricorn82
I don’t think it’s necessarily the watch its the way he wears the watch that’s attractive.
Not in a materialistic way but in a way that suggests his “prototype” if you will..LOL…I’m not attracted to brands just more so the “fit” b/c ish from Walmart can look expensive…I guess it’s similar to someone w/ worn down kicks…our first assumptions would be the worst right?
@warrior
“blacker than a trillion midnights,” lmao I am in tears laughing.
But who randomly looks at a man’s crotch?
I agree with Reina what’s up with the skinny jean phenomenon?
@Odara okay I understand what you mean now, guess I was just thinking while I’m out I am seeing a lot of the big face watches with all the diamonds or cubic zirconium surrounding the dial
I actually like the skinny jean phenom (before it became the it thing to do). I think it looks nice as long as they are not too tight and the man is masculine. I dont want a dude to wear them “shotta” style. I just want them to fit and look good, I should not see your “crotch” lmao.
I’m all for being assertive and aggressive when it comes to getting what you want, but things should always be done tastefully. Never, would I approach a man and compliment him on his crotch!.
NEVER!
@Reina,
I agree, the Skinny Jean Rigamorole needs to STOP! I was in the mall in NY for thanksgiving in some urban clothing store, I forget the name had the skinny jeans labled as “Lil Wayne” pants!!!!!
WTH? Is that supposed to entice you to purchase them? I don’t care if the Prince of Wales wears them, I’m not impressed!
ok let me address this…I wasn’t wearing skinny jeans. My jeans fit the way they are supposed to. I mean damn, why can’t I just have an attractive crotch…lol. Is that so hard to believe? ;-)
@ Nisha/Dark
I have no idea what “shotta style” is, but I’m talking about the ones Kanye & Wayne are wearing that the masses are copying. I should not get my jeans confused with my guy’s jeans. That’s not attractive.
Lol @ Nisha and Warrior.
This means he is most likely purple! I’ve dated light brights and Darker men. I’m not bias in that area.
Nisha and I differ on the Skinny Jeans!
@ FG thanks for clearing that up. Now, I can change my “Screw Face” look I had going on. You had me worried.
That was…wow…”I like your crotch”…That was real low-class on her part. A woman can be forward without having to be hoeish and obviously she hasn’t found that balance. Kudos to you FG; your walking away may make her pause before saying something like that in the future…
What’s the first thing I notice about a man…I’d have to say his eyes…
Yeah well I’m not sure what shotta style is either but it has to end some where. I remember when you was talked about badly if your jeans fit to tightly or “skinny leg” and I’m not saying FG that you had on skinny jeans I’m just agreeing with Reina on when is this fad going to stop
ROTFL @ “Attractive Crotch” we’ll let you have that title. I’m sure it makes you feel even more “FLY”.
Now, as I meander on back to “Facebook” @ Nisha, yes I said MEANDOR!
@JaneanAriel
That’s funny. Meander on…
The term shotta is a jamaican term used to call out a specific guy who is “getting money” they usually wear extra tight pants and know all the dancehall moves (at least where I am from) when we see a guy with extra tight pants we call them shottas (also derived from the movie Shottas).
Anyway…Nean did they really say lil wayne’s? oh no. I liked them before they became the “fad” not hanging off your behind where I can see what underwear you have on, no rockstar chains and whatnot either.
@nean
If you say meander one more time lol.
“This ain’t no hateration or no holleration, in this dancery”
Lmao see you got me started I am laughing up a storm. Get off facebook lol
@ Nisha
You’re like the expert on gay men & dancehall. LOL
The first thing I notice when I meet a woman is her facial structure and eyes…then her smile. Then I peep out the entire package….from head to toe. Nothing goes unnoticed.
i mean damn…why not hit her with an immediate ‘oh really you like the way my crotch looks huh – well….put it in your mouth’
i wonder what she would have done – much too forward whore
:-)
Shottas! Shottas!
Meander! Meander!
That’s the remix, Neesh!
Yes, they really said LIL WAYNE. I was “floored”.
Wow @crys that’s like some old school pimp talk there? Sounds like an uncle luke track or perhaps 2short quote lol
LMAOOOO @ Crys!
Singing—– Just put it in your mouth, in your Muthaf&%$@# mouthhhhhhhh!
Ok, Im done….
@ Moe
Facial Structure? That’s new.
And as for skinny jeans…that would be a definite HELL NAW!
To quote a line from a song that many of you are too young to remember…
“Roppo likes his freedom” – Morris Day & The Time
right…it’s just IN ME. and man, the first thing i notice is a man’s forearm
*but i’m not revealing any secrets as to why*
but yeah – man, if it were me (the beautiful lady that i am) – i woulda put OLE GIRL TO WORK!
@Reina
Yep…facial structure. It’s not easily explained…but it’s definitely noticed.
@nean
I am in tears laughing please lmao.
@reina
you know all things dance and whatnot I know lmao. I like to retain info no matter what it is. lol. We have to catch up.
@moe
I am 24 but I bet you there is not one song I dont know lol. I love morris and the time. I have all their songs on my ipod.
@ Moe
Great. Thanks to you & Dark, I’ll now start sucking my cheeks in when I meet a guy.
What song by The Time is that?
@ Nisha
We do. I have things to tell you.
No need to suck in one’s cheeks its more a sign of health than anything. For instance I don’t like a double chin so its just something I look at
@reina
I am going to hit you. What are you doing for the holiday?
But on the real, my theory is that this line has worked for her in the past, so why not dust it off when the time is right? My second theory, maybe a maxim, is just because something is free doesn’t mean you need to take it.
There’s a reason why the line “I like the crotch on you” is an R. Kelly song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk6isBBshQY
Good lord.
@ Nisha
Wha…? What’d I do? I’m going to build a snowman and then I’m going to South America. What are you doing?
@ Dark
Are their other signs besides a double chin?
Happy Festivus!
I went with “their body” on the poll. I dont know that I notice it more than their face but definitely more than the other options there.
@crys
A man’s forearm? Like Ray Charles?
@pants
Figures you’d like skinny jeans. Ugh. ;-)
OMG, this was crazy…LOL at the hot dog water excuse…did u really say that FG? and what was her response to ur rejection?
Hello ppl!
I cannot stop laughing at this post! LOL
I dont believe that she really said crotch…nobody does that! *in denial*
And1,
yes, it figures that she would ;)
bff,
you’re still on that skinny jean huh? NO NO NO!
Nean,
you really said Meander?? LOL
@fab
hey bff whats up?!
@reina
no hit you up, lmao. SMH
@Reina
You don’t have to suck in your cheeks. For me, it’s not about having skinny cheeks. I like soft features…and I don’t mean the “Stay Puffed Marshmellow Man” soft either. I like a soft feminine face. Again..it’s hard to explain…but I know it when I see it.
And the song was “The Walk”…and it wasn’t “Roppo”….it was “Rollo”
@Nisha
That’s right…I forgot you were a fellow music junkie.
@ Nisha
Oh. LOL You know English is my second language.
@ Moe
That song is too long. And I get what you’re saying. I was just joking about sucking in my cheeks.
@Reina
Good…because that would not be a good look for you. (funny as hell though) lol
Hi Fab!
Yes, I really “fonted” Meander that’s my new favorite word for now lol. I throw it in whenenver I can.
And, I’m mad that my pciture doesn’t show!
FG work on that!
@ Reina
I need some coaching with my Spanish. My bf refuses to teach me anything other than profanity lol, my new favorite obscenity is Punyetta(IDK how to spell it, just how to say it!)
LOL @ Nean
It’s puñeta, and who are you calling that? LOL
Oh, just random people. Sometimes I call his son’s mother that, people who cut me off and sometimes I just say it because I feel like it.
Thanks for giving me the correct spelling lol! Now, I can say it and type it. AWESOMEEEEEEEE!
The bf say’s he doesn’t want to teach me Spanish because his is “street Spanish/Spanglish and he wants to me get a tutor!
@JaneanAriel
Your pic should work. Are you logged in?
@Reina
How do I get the accent mark to show over my vowels?
I thought I was logged in! I’m slow… lol
heeeeeeeeeeeeey ppl…
just stopping by…if Blaze pops in or if any of u guys have his IM…PLZ tell him to hit me up some kind of way cuz I got sumthing to ask him…dont be nosy either!
That is all
niiiiiiiiiisha!
How have you been, bff? Leaving for home today?
Nean,
i loooove new words! use them whenever :)
@ Nean
Yes, you are slow today.
If you don’t a keyboard with spanish accents, you can type it in Word first or just search for the word online and copy & paste. This link has shortcuts for using Word. http://www.spanishnewyork.com/spanish-characters.html
Reina,
*gasp* are you naked in that pic??
Hi Fabie! What are you doing for the Christmas? I’ll be in Reina’s town.
Thanks Reina! I’m working on getting a tutor as we type! Most was $36 an hour!
@ Fab
Sigh. No.
@ Nean
That’s ridiculous. I can tutor you via MySpace for at least $33/hr. :-) Are you just interested in learning or is this for a job?
$33 that’s a steal lol. Seriously, would you tutor me????
I’m interested in learning mainly because my son is bi-racial and he should be able speak Spanish and I’d like to understand him when he does.
It it will benefit me at work that’s fine too. I just don’t want him to grow up being clueless.
@ Nean
Sure, no problem. As a fellow half-breed, I am more than willing to help. :-) I’ll send you my email on MySpace.
@ Reina,
Ok, Have a fabulous Christmas all. I’m out of here.
OMG, some chicks are really… um… bold. However, this kinda mess is what us girlies deal with on a daily basis, so FG we feel your pain.
Skinny Jeans — I like em if they fit well, aren’t too tight, or hanging off your ass. I am hoping the baggy, wearing your 400lb brother’s pants when you’re barely a buck-40 soaking wet ends now. I’m glad it’s on its way out, but it’s not gone completely, esp in my area.
I first notice smile, eyes, posture/confidence. Once I get in close I start with everything else – clothes, shoes, jewelry, and Flirty, I agree – a man who wears cufflinks just says something about class. I’m not looking so much at names (although certain names and the amount of labels on him can say something about him too) as how he wears what he wears. OH! And how could I forget this?? ALWAYS check the left hand.
I am not sure what to think..I heard of women looking to see what a man might be working with.So I guess it’s fair game…
the first thing i notice about a guy is his smile. nothing worse than a crooked grill.
1. Shottas are not known for wearing tight jeans. They’re known for being gangsta… Period. A dude in tight ass jeans is anything but a Shotta… Personally I would’nt be caught dead rockin that skinny jeans non sense… It’s not for grown men.
2. Fly, brotha you got to let me know where you hangin out because I’ve met some bold ones, but this chick takes the cake!
3. I don’t have a particular “thing” that I look for when I first meet a woman. Rather, I notice whatever feature distinguishes her from others. For some women it’s their eyes, some their smile, for some it’s a physical feature. Just about everyone has something going for themselves physically and I try to notice whatever it is. Sometimes it’s a turn on, sometimes not. Most people have something that distinguishes them though, and taking this perspective tends to open more possibilites than what you get if your only looking at chicks that have a big this, or a pretty that….
@ondareal
Ummm I beg to differ, the dudes who refer to themselves as such where I am from wear jeans damn neat skin tight. They are all jamaican for the record. You are welcome to come and see. Yes I know the definition too.
Ok I thought I heard it all…that was a new one. She liked your crotch? wow.