Comments on: I Only Liked It…So I Didn’t Put A Ring On It

By: Denise

Denise — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 20:46:08 +0000

Sorry, but I have to call BS on this article. Very clever, but unfortunately quite lacking in merit. Had he left the post at point number 1 (he never deeply loved her enough), then that would have been fine. But the rest of the points only raise questions about his character and decision-making. First of all, the entire premise of being “completely honest” with someone only after the breakup and ensuing drama is backwards, immature, and uncommunicative. You had an issue with her self-esteem problems, with her view of marriage, and lack of personal ambition. Suddenly you see with clarity how much those things bothered you….I suppose before your vision was clouded by how much you liked her sharing your bed, no?

The truth of the matter is that points 2, 4, and 5 are more than enough reason to break up with someone without all the “I just never loved you enough” mumbo jumbo. If you saw clearly those red flags in her personality and character, then you should have bounced a long time ago. But I’m sure the living together, eating together and sleeping together (what you named “familiarity,” correct?) helped you feel comfortable in using her to meet your needs for the moment, knowing all the while that even though she probably wanted marriage, you weren’t going to be that man to her.

I am not saying that you should have proposed, only that your reasons for staying in the relationship at all were more than likely selfish. You could have addressed those issues with her, letting her know they were dealbreakers. You could have stepped up and been decisive about what you wanted in a woman and let her know that she wasn’t doing it for you. To remain in that sphere of “familiarity” (read: free sex), acting committed, etc., clearly served your needs while you knew you had no serious plans for this woman.

And so, yes, if you acted like a jerk because you saw her out with another man, then it is your fault…because truly, like you said, you didn’t want her anyway. Your reaction was again based on viewing her completely in a self-centered manner–she’s not yours to have at your whim. Next time you see her out with someone else, keep it moving and remind yourself that you obviously didn’t want her in the first place. If you had, then you would have: put a ring on it.

By: Ginger

Ginger — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:37:14 +0000

How old are you? You sound like 19/20 years old and still salty, still reeling from this relationship. This woman has obviously still moved on, yet you’re still here like the last car to leave from a car wreck.

Pick up your balls off the floor and move on. You were in a relationship with her for THREE YEARS which is a bit more than familiarity. Who does that? Stays in a relationship with a woman for three years because it’s convenient yet get mad when she walks off to live life with another man?

How dare she move on in search of a man that will appreciate her for who she is and not some level of familiarity that will only keep her in a dead end relationship. How dare women get up and demand that they want a solid long term relationship *GASP* marriage instead of the shacking up with a man for 3-4-5 years with nothing to show for it. OH THE HORROR!

Uhmm yea, Im not convinced.

By: Misty Knight

Misty Knight — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:43:08 +0000

What strikes me funny is the passionate response to anything perceived as a female “anthem” by both women and men! you mean to tell me that out of all the mysoginist, “get Down Low Hoe” songs aboyt women that are the norm you fools have the audacity to gripe about “Put A Ring On It”? and the poor women echoing the sentiments. Now we cant have women in long-term relationships thinkin they can mention marraige now can we? How dare Beyonce say that ?! don’t listen to her, just idly stay in a long-term common law marraige, and dare not mention the “M” word so as to not offend your SO, Dont wanna scare em off now? Lastly the song is not telling women to demand marraige Hot Damn! but if thats an expectation of a woman sooner down the line whats wrong with her expressing it? and whats wrong with a man getting a heads up, and with the given info determine that perhaps that particular female is not compatible with him at this point in his life?
Jesus Christ if women ranted and raved about every demeaning song about them, there would be a new post about it everyday! get the hell over it!

By: POAndrea

POAndrea — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:46:48 +0000

This post (like the song) raises some good points, but an important contradiction certainly reduces its impact. #2 indicates that she “never had a plan”, while #5 criticizes a “carefully laid out plan that you created—all on your own.” I think that really means HER plan wasn’t HIS, and he didn’t like her version. Or his plan never, at any time in three years, involved marriage to her.

By: F-R-E-S-H

F-R-E-S-H — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:10:10 +0000

How about #5…. she told me the date and sent my pictures of rings she wanted me to buy her.

when i wasnt a “yes man” and told her to slow down cuz i didnt feel “involved” she said it didnt work for her, and thats pretty much where it went downhill.

By: Ms. Miss

Ms. Miss — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:37:47 +0000

geez that didn’t last long :(

By: blaze

blaze — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:29:14 +0000

You’re right. Not sure why we were throwing the ball with 5 minutes left and a 4 pt lead. We wont be able to beat Green Bay so in the end it won’t matter. I am enjoying watching TO tear apart the Cowboys again with his complaining.

By: and1grad

and1grad — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:20:11 +0000

@blaze
Reggie’s knee isnt right so he didnt play much. Both teams gave the game away too much so neither SHOULD make the playoffs. Maybe you guys still have a shot tho.

By: Ms. Miss

Ms. Miss — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:18:34 +0000

yay that’s my side eye! lol

By: Ms. Miss

Ms. Miss — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:18:09 +0000

Ok so everyone has photos again except for me? Not cool.

This Jesse Jackson Jr. dammit! we just got rid of Jesse Jackson I don’t want another one!

And leave Fema alone about the Saints, he is in mourning…