The Thrill Is Gone

I can definitely testify to losing interest in someone I had a thing for because her physical appearance changed so much. The convenience of it is that we didn’t really know each other. It was more or less a crush, so it wasn’t situation where anything had to be said.

The first few times I spotted her around my way, I was so impressed and wanted to be with her. That never happened but about 6 years later, her appearance changed drastically. Now, she’s not even on my radar. It still phases me sometimes, because this girl was so FINE and now…

LMAO! HA! I’d like to think I’m not that vain. Kit-ting! I am, let’s see how i should word this…hmm. Dude wasn’t exactly my type in the first place but I was trying to step away from the “norm” , anyway we dated and he was HORRIBLE in bed. I gave him a few more try’s and somehow it got worse. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I just stop talking to him…lol

lol @ Bahama. That’s pretty funny.

FG has been mighty busy!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA at the pics! lol
On topic: i cant say that ive had to go thru this situation but if i did, id probably make up different reasons to tell the guy that i didnt wanna be with him anymore: “i need to be by myself” “its not you”…
still lol at the pic!!

@Fab Hey girl !!!!
When I lose interest I try to break it down to the other person why I lost interest to the best to my ability,but most times it doesn’t work out that way because tension always flare.I know I have somewhat of a issue with getting bored with people quickly.

Hi LL!!
How was your weekend?

It was good, I didn’t win the costume money. You had to show u almost naked to win.Other than it was cool.How was yours?

whats up Fabie & Lyric

Whats up Blaze. Did you wear the throwback costume? lol

@Lyric
Yeah I rocked the Run DMC joint. How was your parties?

Hey blaze!
@ LL
Weekend was good. Had lunch/brunch with one of my good friends. And stayed home yesterday, nothing too eventful. Thanks for asking.

any pics, LL and blaze?

@Blaze it was pretty cool, I had a lot of fun

Wats good everyone.

LL, which party did you go too?

@Fabie
I should be receiving them soon

@luv
I went to the held at a club called the volcano

I think my major turnoff is women picking up weight and not working to stay fit. Or a dramatic change in hairstyles has been a turnoff as well. I think women should atleast consider your mans view of a particular hairstyle instead of surprising him. Sounds shallow but I’m just sayin…

Truthfully, if i want to change hairstyle and had a man, the last thing on my mind would be to ask him before getting it cut/styled differently. Another hmmm moment provided by blaze lol

i am not vain, lol slong as the dude bathe and pratice personal hygine we good…..

@Fabie
I see where a woman would like to maintain her own individualilty but I have had plenty of women come and ask me my opinion about possible hairstyles. Not to say my opinion is the end all but I dont mind being included if she thinks its going to look sexy for me. Isn;t about pleasing and looking good for each other? Don’t you want to look good for you man Fabie?

@ blaze if you let a man have any kinda say so on ya hair clothes whatever he gon end up putting his damn foot in his mouth and be sleeping on the couch with blue balls for a week so i don’t even ask hubby no more it’s easier that way……

@Chriss
U dont value your husbands opionion on you outfits, haristyles, etc? I know some men that give good suggestions….

Never told a dude he was getting fat because the male ego is super fragile. I just fix smaller portions and ask him to start working out with me. had plenty of dudes, including SO, give unsolicited opinions on my weight (and apparently I am “po’” according to southern standards) and body from dudes. Makes me wanna bust a cap in these fools.

@ blaze, well that nigga i married don’t lol what i like he hate and what he hate i like for instance i got big ass breasts he want em encasssed in tops and hidden from view and never in v-necks that show my clevage, i on the other hand like em on display from time to time cause they nice and need air……..

@ J Thought
We do have to say it in a tactful way..you just can’t kill your ladies self esteem like that. Plus if we don’t appreciate it, another man quickly will

@Blaze I did that with a ex and I will never do it again.I wore my hair short when I met him and he always complimented my hair and during the winter time I always let it grow longer and he loved it until the summer came around he said I like your hair short so cut it.I would never take a man a thoughts into consideration as for as my hair, because I’m the one that has to worry about the maintanence and up keep

lol @ chrissy snow breastesses needing air!
@ blaze
I dont have one LOL but if i did, of course I would but at the same time, I know best when it comes to things to wear, how to do my hair. Not to say that i wouldnt take suggestions or even do something differently because i would but the final decision rests on me!

lol @ chrissy snow breastesses needing air!

^^^^lol hubby don’t get that tho, he wanna suffocate and kill the girls if it were up to him i’d dress like one of them women in them mormon camps in long skirts and tops that choke ya…..

@Fabie
i ask my ladies all the time what kind of style they like in a man…i want to make sure I’m lookin right for them as well. I’m even willing to switch up time to time just for them. Its about compromising

@ Chrissy
I dont think there;s a happy medium with your situation…either they’re out or not. Is he worried about other dudes getting a visual?

@ Chrissy
I dont think there;s a happy medium with your situation…either they’re out or not. Is he worried about other dudes getting a visual?

^^^^yes he is, why you think he want em on lock down all the time…..

@ blaze
time to time are the keys words. When somebody wants you to do something just because its something they like, then we have a small problem1
@ chrissy
are there any settings he would encourage you to have them out?

Men can be hard and to critical of women’s hair and weight, but men want women to accept or over look when they balding or in need of a exstensive hair cut and or need to lose the beer belly “due to age”.Its hard to stay away the comfort zone when you are with someone

@ LL
LOL yes, we can NOT point out how they are balding! thats a hell-no!

@ chrissy
are there any settings he would encourage you to have them out?
^^^^when we in the bed lol

@Fabie
WHats wrong with doing something that your SO may like? Isnt it all about pleasing them?

@Lyric
I agree that critical comments may be hard to take but deep down as a man we hear you loud and clear. If you say something about my weight or haircut, I might play it off but please believe I will handle it. I will be in the barbershop and/or up in the gym. Like I said before I’mn not pleasing my lady, another cat is lurking

@blaze
On the other hand, I think if you’re constantly worried about your lady stepping out, your relationship is already failing.

@all
So is the general consensus that men are more critical on women than women are on men? B/c personally I think its women who are more critical of other women than anything else.

i’m starting to think that you disagree just to argue or u dont read our responses!! *watching u*
There is nothing wrong with that at all. However there is something wrong when you’re doing something solely because SO likes it (esp if I dont!!). Like LL said, there is no way im cutting my hair just cuz a negro tells me to! ha!
Bottom line: you have to please urself as well. Else you get lost.

@And1
You missed the point…its not about worrying if she’s stepping out, its about listening and hearing her comments and perspectives about how she’s viewing you. My point is that you cant take the way your women views you, or what she says about you negatively or positvely for granted. Which could lead to other dudes grabbing her attention.

I’ve never ended or had a relationship end due to changes in appearances. But I’ve been politely warned of what the consequences could possibly be if there were any changes to my appearance.

@Fabie
Its not about arguing, this is a “discussion” board to write our opinions whether you agree with them or not. If we all agree with each other whats the point of “discussing”. I never take it personally if someone doesnt agree with me or not, I also dont mind is someone challenges me on something I say. Thats the purpose of this forum

@blaze
I didnt miss the point. I brought up another one.

@Reina
You were “politely warned?” How did you take that?

@ And1
I think you’re right. Women are very critical of each other. To be honest, men giving me a compliment means less to me then a woman doing the same (not all the time). Might not make sense but *shrug*

@ and1

I politely advised him to fall into a ravine and then ate a bacon burger.

@fab
Makes sense to me. Men really arent THAT hard to please.

@ blaze
Thanks, ill write that down.
@ Reina
Hey lady, how are you doing today? “politely warned” huh? I personally hate “warnings”. I seem to make it my personal goal to make them happen *pondering*

@Reina
Ha…right on.

@ And1
LOL they really arent! N there is the fact that im thinking they just saying that cuz they want something.

I’ve never ended a relationship with someone because their physical appearance changed. In most cases, they were more critical of themselves than anything.

I have not ended a relationship due to physical appearance. If you love, you love. Love has no conditions.

@fab

Hey mamas!!

@ fab

Today is okay. Had a challenging weekend. Yeah, I dated a guy once, and I promise he was just dating my hair. He paid more attention to it than he did me. And he politely warned me that he found short hair on women unattractive and that he wouldn’t be able to date someone he found unattractive.

@fab I just had to say it, lol
@Blaze I was believe there is a right way and a wrong way to say things.I just love men that take pride in himself PERIOD because I know a man will expect that out of me

@Lyric
You have to be tactful qwithhow you say things because like I said before you dont want to diminish your ladies self-esteem and you do want her to have her own individuality. Bottom line you both want to look good for each other. I dont mind a woman keeping me on point in addition to the pride I have for myself…

I can sympathize with a lot of comments. I guess I was at one point the pleaser that would change my hair because he wanted me to. I was the one that had gotten too big, or wasnt wearing enough make up
….but NOW, I do me, what makes me happy. Funny thing is once I left him, many others appreciated what they saw and NOW if he had the chance he would definitely get back with me. Like BLAZE said, if you wont, someone else will.
There is always going to be someone prettier, in a better position, so if you dont like it, no point in wasting time, let the next one at it. Be honest and respectful and the truth should always be enough-thats my philosophy.

What’s up Reina..how are you doing?

@ Reina
aww sorry to hear about that. hopefully your week will be much better!
My thing with guys like that is: are you the one taking care of my hair? Why are you more worried about it than I am? Whats next, u know? If you have such a strong opinion about something as simple as somebody’s hair (which you cant control), then what else do u wanna control?

@ Moe

I’m good, trying to convince my guy to give me somey money so I can buy this jewelry.

@ fab

Needless to say, that guy and I never made it pass the dating phase. I want a guy to be physically attracted to me and remain so, but there’s a fine line b/w being concerned about my health and trying to dictate my life.

@Reina
‘Reina’ is trying to convince a guy to give her money to buy something? lol

@ Moe

Yeah, it’s not working out. This independent crap backfires occasionally. It must be due to my weekend weight gain. How are you?

@Reina
I’m good. Not a lot going on today, so I’m in one of those modes where my mind going at a 100 mph. It happens often. lol

@Reina do the lip pout and say I really want it, it would look great with an outfit I have. Bat your eyes and say please I will not ask for anything else this year ( that would be a lie) but he won’t it unless BLAZE,AND1,and MOE tell on you.lmao

@Reina weekend weight gain, THATS A NEW ONE.I can’t offered to do that I’m 5’2 3-5 pounds look like 10 on me.

Had to comment on pic. Me and my girls were just looking at that picture of Lauren with her 5 kids and Martha Stewart. We were asking what Lauren was doing with a convict and then said Martha most likely didn’t know who Lauren was and probably thought she was taking a picture for a charity case. LOL

@ blaze:

Naw, most of them weren’t tactful. MY SO started out that way, but it got worse as the relationship deteriorated. A lot of dudes give random comments on woman’s appearance and think that that crap is okay. I do think that a lot of my problems come from the area that I am in. So many dudes are just immature (and possible self-hating), so I have to turn the other cheek on a lot of foolishness.

@J Thought
You just have to chalk it up as pure ignorance. Those are boys masquerading around as men. The point is to make and keep your lady happy. Point blank….What area are you located in?

I met a guy in the grocery store who was tryin to halla. He ended up buying my groceries so I talked to him outside. (I’m saying this to let you know, HE was interested in ME) As we talk he starts telling me how cute I was but I need to work out and tighten up my body. Mind you, no one has EVER told me that. My point is, don’t try to talk to someone who you already want to change. It’s a waste of time. Needless to say, nothing became of us.

@ Coco

Did you throw an apple at his head?

@ Lyrical

I am a professional when it comes to the lip pouting, bu I have to save it. I saw something else I wanted.

@CoCo
He bought your groceries? Are you serious?

Just a thought: People need to pay attention and comment when their mate *attempts to look good. As the only child, I need attention and if my man didn’t give me compliments on my hair and new toe nail polish design and things like that I would be very tempted to leave him for those guys who do acknowledge me and the things I do for myself to attract attention. It may seem petty but certain people need certain things from their partner. Knowing what you need is extremely important when choosing someone to be with. If more people would stick with what they know, relationships would be so much better.

@ Reina
No I didn’t throw an apple at his head but I did snap at him for a few minutes on the blatant disrespect he threw my way.
@blaze
And yes he bought my groceries. It wasn’t much, just a few things. Like $40 worth

@CoCO
Before his comments were you attracted to this guy? Sounds like he was good before he made a major fumble.

I wouldn’t say good, he was ok. I had a man so he wasn’t getting far. Going to lunch see yall later

lol…had a man and let him buy her groceries. Awesome. Pimpin aint easy.

Oh my. I want to be like Coco when I grow up.

I met this guy at the end of 2007, and I didn’t see him again until around late July/early August of this year. And he told me that I’d gotten too “hippy” for him. I’d gained several pounds, and I’ve since lost it. And over this weekend, another guy told me I was too skinny. If I let my figure be determined by a male’s opinion of it, I’d have a serious complex.

@and1
And she probably fed her man what that dummy bought.

@Reina
True. As long as you’re comfortable in your skin. I have friends who prefer thick women, and label the ones I like as skinny. I don’t view them as skinny…I view them as being in shape. To each his own I guess.

@ Moe

Is there a definition of what “thick” exactly is? By my definition, thick girls can be in shape, too. I read an article last week that overweight women are more sexually active than those with a normal BMI.

@Reina
There’s no clear cut definition. It depends on who is judging at the time. Thick girls can be in shape. As for the their sexual activity, how can anyone come up with an accurate assessment? That’s like saying women under 6’0 have more sex than their taller counterparts.

@ Moe

Are any statistics accurate? They haven’t polled every living human. Yet we still quote them.

I’ve never had to make the decision, but if my guy turned into Rick Ross, I may chuck the deuce. However, I’ll drag his ass to the gym before he gets there.

@Reina
When it comes to human behavior, I would have to say no. I have a different view on some stats. Whose collecting the data..and what is their agenda.

I’m with you. I’ll do something before I let it get to that point. If she’s opposed to going to the gym, we’ll start taking “romantic” walks around the neighborhood..and build from there. lol

@ Moe

You haven’t, but would you end a relationship because of changes in one’s appearance?

@Reina
If there was no medical reason why she couldn’t work out, and she made the choice to let herself go, I would probably chuck deuces. I have a problem with lazy people.

@T-Moe
HAAA Chuck deuces!
I can’t recall ever dating an out of shape guy during or seeing them heavy after the relationship. Oh and yes I did cook the food for my man that the strange man’s money paid for. And for the guys, he wasn’t a sucka. Remember…It ain’t trickin if you got it LOVE IT!!!

@Reina
How do you feel about “me” time in a relationship? Do you feel a couple should do everything together, or are you okay with the man being involved in activities that don’t involve you?

@ Moe

I find it annoying how some men believe that a woman will stay the same size forever. An associate of mine tells me that he only dates models because he knows their jobs depends on their maintaining their shapes.

@Coco
That has to be one of the dumbest things to ever come out of a rapper’s mouth. lol And that’s saying a lot! I was in that situation a long time ago..where the dude was buying food for my girl, and we were eating it together. I was actually there once when he brought it over…what a dumb azz.

@ Moe

It’s a must. I require a man with a life outside of me. I don’t need to be involved in every aspect of your day. He can tell me all about it as I’m dozing off that night.

@Reina
It’s unrealistic to believe our bodies are going to be this way forever. But a lot of people are shallow like that. I just ask that the woman make a genuine effort to stay in shape. Our metabolism slows as we get older, so I know it’s going to be harder to maintain.

@Reina
I witnessed firsthand what happens when a couple does everything together. They start to lose their identity, and at least one of them starts to feel smothered. I don’t have to leave the house for “me” time. I have enough toys at home to provide an escape.

@ Moe

It’s best for men to not address my weight in any fashion outside of “you look good.” An ex of mine used to actually count my calories through the day.

@Reina
Count your calories? LOL That’s funny. I don’t have that type of time. Discussing a woman’s weight is never a good idea..even if she brings it up. Any man with good sense knows that’s an argument waiting to happen.

@Reina
After he was done counting my calories he would be counting the bruses I made on him LOL. That is rediculous!

I like a man who does something active in his spare time. I don’t care what it is as long as it isn’t sexing someone other than me. Sex IS a workout. I do like to watch my man play sports and cheer him on. Make the other guys mad

@T-Moe
#86 HA I know it is but since people want to idolize these niccas I say hey that will benifit me. Go head and keep that line in yo head. I been waitin on something like this. Better than slap a hoe. YOU KNOW!

@ T-Moe
Tru dat

@Coco
LOL Why can’t more women adopt the same stupid notions?! I wouldn’t mind getting a few bills paid my damn self. lol

@ Moe/Coco

It frustrated him more than me because I continued to eat what I wanted. Nonetheless, the relationship was over quickly.

@ Moe

Wouldn’t that offend your masculinity to have a woman paying your bills?

They are out there. Most real MEN will say they want a woman to pay their bills but when it really can happen, especially when a woman you deeply care for or love wants to do it, the men are like no baby I’m the man, I can’t take your money.

@Reina
Yeah, I would probably have a problem with it…but it sounds good! LOL

@Coco
I couldn’t do it. I would feel like less than a man. That’s not the natural order of things.

I think there are men that enjoy having a woman pay for everything: buy them shoes, playstations, cars, pay their bills…just like some women, some men like to be kept!

@Fab
I’m not one of those dudes. I can’t get down like that.

@ fab

I can’t respect those kind of men. I can’t respect women of that ilk either. Earn your own.

See that’s what I’m sayin. If I want to do something for someone, no matter who it is and I know they don’t like to be given things, I will do it without them knowing. Like I paid my aunt’s $200+ phone bill and told her after it was already done. Or make a deal. My man got into an accident and to pay for it all would be a lot of $$$. I recently moved so I told him I would pay him to clean and fix stuff in the house instead of paying someone else. He said he would do it for free but since we both wanted something I told him we would do it this way. It works out cuz the sooner he wants the money the sooner he will be done with everything in the house.

I have a problem asking anyone for financial help. Call it foolish pride, but that’s how I am. I will work 3 jobs before I take a handout.

@ Moe

Everyone will run into hard times, and it’s okay to ask for help. I’m good with that. IT’s those poeple that are looking for someone to take care of them financially that are unattractive.

That’s how a man should be in my opinion. The only reason I see it being ok for a man to ask for financial assistance is if something big came up and money was needed right away. I say big because money should be put away for small and medium surprises anyway.

@Reina
I agree. I guess I have that mentality because I’m the one that everyone turns to. If things got really hard for me, I don’t have anyone I can turn to.

@ Moe

To return to the topic of the post, how much could your woman gain before you became worried?

1) Is there a way for the page to update without me going to another page to see what the last comment was?

B) Where does everyone live?

Yes 1 and B LMAO

@Reina
I don’t know. I don’t think there would a number associated with it. It would be determined by how she looks naked.

@ Coco

Just refresh the page.

@ Moe

LOL You are honest. Appearance is too fragile a thing to base a relationship on. It could be altered at any time.

@Reina
I agree with that as well. Looks can fade. Accidents happen. That’s why I put so much emphasis on a good attitude. I want to “like” my SO as well as love her.

@ Miss Coco
You have to keep refreshing the page. U can also do that by pressing F5 (i have an hp).

Thank you the F5 worked. HEYYY I’m in the game. I was really bout to give up. “This si too much work, I can’t do it” See how easy I give up, just imagine my relationships HA!!

@ coco
hahaha ure not the only one. Giving up is the easiest thing to do.

@ Moe

Do you think your desires for a woman’s appearance are realistic? Like are you one of the guys looking for a chick with a King mag figure?

The only reason I’ve stayed in my current one as long as I have is because he won’t let me go. He keeps me handcuffed in a cage when I get home LOL JK

I think men and women have a certain look they want their mate to have but it isn’t always realistic for the person with “the body” to have the face, brain or personality to make it work so we settle for the next best thing, which sometimes ends up being the best.

@Reina
I’m not that guy at all. Remember the chic I told you about (4’11 90 lbs)? If I met her now, and she was the same now as she was back then, I would marry her. I don’t regret my decision though. I wasn’t ready. But I’m not looking for the King mag body. I’ve met a few King mag type women (one was actually in King), and I know what can come with that. I just want someone attractive with a good personality. I’m not going to trade her in because her hips and thighs got a little bigger than they used to be.

No one answered my question. What cites r u from?

The DC area

Maryland

My homegirl got her Masters from George Mason I think last year. She didn’t like it and said the guys were horrible.

@moe
“I have a problem asking anyone for financial help. Call it foolish pride, but that’s how I am. I will work 3 jobs before I take a handout.”

I dont think thats foolish pride at all. I think that comes from working hard to put yourself in a position to be head of a household.

@ Moe

Trade her in? That’s hilarious. I want to stay in shape for my guy b/c I want him drooling each time he sees me. However, that drool should continue even if I gqin some lbs.

@Reina
I wish more women had that attitude.

I as a woman, wish they had that attitude too. I’m not gay but I just hate to see women, who are beautiful creatures, especially us black women lookin hella homely with wild uncombed hair, pajamas and slippers. It’s really embarrassing to me. We need to do better. I don’t know how it’s gonna happen but I pray it does. We need to look good for ourselves and our men!

@Ms CoCo
I totally agree. Its very embarassing to see these young cats walking around looking sloppy, pants down, clothes extra big…or now you see cats with tight ass pants looking real suspicious. The state of our people need to tighten up now that we’re going to have a black president. We still need to stay twice as sharp and work twice as hard. Obama is just the example.

T Pain’s old stomping grounds. Before that ATL, and it was more of the same.

I think any area with more black women than men just makes some brothers uber ignorant.

Hi everybody !!!!
I’m late today went to vote today

Congrats Lyricalluv. My mom called and woke me up letting me know she had just voted. Good thing she did I over slept. I tell you about black folks

Afternoon ya’ll!! Just got to work after standing on a line for 2 hours n 15 minutes ..but its all worth it!! Obama 08!

What city are you in. I just read my homegirl’s blog http://www.thatrudegirl.com, who lives in NY and she waited in line for two hours too.

Hyattsville, Maryland

Maryland in general had longs lines, Lanham was on the news today because their line wrapped around and through a parking lot!

@ Luving
You’re in Hyattsville too? That is such a concidence!!!

A lot of yall are from the same area or relatively close. Do most of you know each other and found out about this site through one another?

Ok we def need to get up lol Blaze set it up lol

I found out about this site through some viplist eblast, how did you guys hear about it?

My homegirl told me about it. She has a myspace page. I don’t. She probably found out about it there.

@ Coco
I dont think any of us has met anybody else face to face.
I found about this site thru another site…will have to remember which one

I think there is more activity on the first board on the home page

@ Blaze #128

Black kids wishin they white kids
when they close the eyelids
like I bet they neighborhood ain’t like this
White kids wishin they black kids and wanna talk like rappers
It’s all backwards
It’s identity crisis

-Talib Kwali

@Ms CoCo
Thats real talk right there. Peer pressure and lack of identity due to fathers not being around is killin our kids mentality. We have too many mothers trying to raise men.
Even with a black president, even though its history, it’ll be a minute before we see changes unless we all take responsibility (volunteering, mentoring, big brothers and big sisters etc.) It doesnt stop with just voting. Our communities are in such a disarray right now. We need to look at the big picture.

@blaze
So so true. With the people the way they are I can truly but sadly say I don’t see it happening in my lifetime. I hope to be proven wrong though.

@Ms CoCo
Yeah its unfortunate but I do feel they’re so many progessive blacks, especially in this area that we can reach back in provide direction and resources. I think this yr has been a wake up call because classcism was becoming so prevelant in the black communities. Hopefully that crab in the barrel mentality will subside a little now that we have a new president-elect.

Anyhow, what do you know about that Talib? Are you a NY’er?

I’ve been a member for a little while now, and this is my first comment.

I have a personal connection with this topic. I lost all physical interest in an EX before and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that. I came up with a lame excuse that I wanted to practice abstinence because I didn’t want him to touch me!

I was 19 or 20 at the time so I’m giving myself and excuse lol.

@janeanAriel

Too funny!!! LMao. Welcome! lol

Hey Nisha is that truth!

LOL, that is a really good pic of Lauryn Hill, well the first one is!!! Lol @ Tyrone

In the case of Lauryn Hill it’s not vain, or even shallow. She didn’t change naturally, despite what she may want us to believe. You can tell, just like with Whitney, something else is going on. Sometimes mental ailments or distress manifest themselves physically; when we loose interest like that, I think it can be deeper than physical desire, I think it’s a subconcious awareness that signals, “hey this person isn’t healthy for themselves, let alone you!”

Now if a womn gains weight having your child, or you’re both just getting old, or an accident disfigures her, then she deserves your loyalty and love, but if she’s suffering from an “infection” that’s taking her away from who she is and threatening you…it’s time to go.

“You can’t love nobody if you can’t love yourself”, and if Lauryn’s 1st album was any indication as to who she was, then we can all tell, Lauryn has lost who she is!