Don't Forget About Love

Booo! I will stay in my cynicism for today. It’s raining and I’m grumpy.

Thanks FG!
Deep down, I know that love doesnt suck. It’s not love thats the problem, its ppl who dont know what love is and how to love others.
Love is work and ppl are just too lazy to make an effort.
Just my two cents

lol @ Just…Morning!
Yea, its pouring outside right now so my warm sheets and bed would be much appreciated *sad face*

Because I’m sick with a cold, facing overtime and sick of immature men, I am going to have to agree with the ppl that emailed you, FG…love MOST DEFINITELY SUCKS! when your in it, you wonder if its real or if the end is right around the corner; when you’re out of it, everyone around you is loving love and giving you the side eye; when you’re looking for it, it stays out of your grasp; and when you push it out of your mind and focus on other things, it slaps you in the back of the head and stabs you in the heart.

Love….hmph….who needs it?

@ fabie:
Good morning. There is a small flicker of hope that I will eventually be loved by another human (not just God), but I lock that sucker up tight because I don’t have room in my life for that nonsense right now.

@ Chels:

I feel you. But we all need love, in some form, even if we don’t buy into the fairy tale of romantic love.

LOL, I’m sorry. I know I’m coming off like a hypocrite right now, but oh well.

No, Just, you are realistic like I am
“when you’re out of it, everyone around you is loving love and giving you the side eye” I dare anyone to do that to me. Id answer with a polite “what the eff u looking at?”
chelz,
you have a cold? awww poor baby. Have you taken anything? Tea with lemon always helps.

@Fab

‘ Id answer with a polite “what the eff u looking at?”’

Sorry mama…there is NOTHING polite about that…even if you say it with your accent…lol

And yes, this cold sucks. I’m actually tryna guilt my grandmother into making me some of her famous tea with honey and gin…that ish is a MIRACLE! knocks the cold right out!

I really don’t have anything negative to say about love. What sucks is loving the wrong person. It takes an act of Congress to get me to completely open up to someone, so I haven’t experienced a lot of heartache. It’s going to take a hell of a woman to get me to surrender my ALL to her.

@ T-Moe:

I feel you on the necessity of having the right person. The only person that I’ve loved wasn’t right for me (not to mention didn’t really love me, but that’s another story), but that didn’t make it hurt any less when we broke up.

I think my biggest problem is that I was too accepting of people and loved them in spite of their flaws, but they did not do reciprocate.

chelz,
LOL with this angelic face, i can say pretty much anything and get away with it
hold up! Why did i think you wrote ginger instead of gin?? LOL No more gin for you, young lady…even in tea!

Preach Just! That’s exactly how i feel. It’s like men expect me to be perfect (i dont know where they get that from!) while I really accept them for who they are.

@J Thought
When I fall for a woman, I fall HARD. So I can’t be opening myself up to just anyone. It takes too long to get over it when things don’t work out.

@Fab

its only enough gin in it to make you sweat out all the toxins in your body…and my GRANDMA makes it so you know she aint gon give me much…lol..ginger. Naw…g-i-n babie!

lmao@angelic face

Good morning people,

I hope everyone is well. I hate to see some of you guys be so pessimistic about love. We have to work on that.

# 9: scratch the “do”. Should read “did not reciprocate.”

@FG
How’s your search for love going? The entertainment industry is so plastic…how can you tell who’s really real?

@ FG:

I’ll admit that I’m a little pessimistic, but it really stings to have things blow up in your face repeatedly. I take responsibility for what I did wrong in those situations, but it gets my goat when I modify my behavior and well-intentioned people look at those modifications and say “you should be more open, don’t be so pessimistic, you should let your guard down more,” etc. ad nauseum.

@JAT

preach

@T-Moe,

I’m good man. Absolutely no complaints this way. You’re right, it is hard to find it inside of the industry; not so much because of the people, but because of the demands on everyone time. It can be done though …I just happened to have found my happiness in the quietness outside of it.

@FG
Congrats bruh! I hope that happiness is eternal. My time is coming soon…but in the meantime…I’m a happy bachelor. lol

Moe,
of course you’re a happy bachelor! you have FWBs txting you all hours of the nite to come give them their medicine. What more would you want??

@Fab
Exactly! lmao

@ Just A Thought:

I hear what you’re saying, and I totally understand. I try to look at it through this lens. I don’t expect anything to come easy in this world…especially the things that I hope to receive that I deem valuable. Love is one such thing. So if I’m not going to give up when adversity comes my way, or I if receive repeated rejection when trying to pursue my career, then why would I give up when that unfortunate things happen with something I consider even more priceless than fame or fortune (meaningful love)

lmao@fab

true true

FG,
How did you find your love in this crazy world?

Moeski,
yea yea whatever! lol

@fab,

craigslist

lol…just kidding

@Fab
Seriously, I would gladly settle down for the right woman.

‘@fab,

craigslist’

**dead**

I am just going to co-sign some of the things said..

@Moe–yes loving the wrong person is what sucks.

@fab and chels—yes tea is the most fabulous thing for colds.

@ FG:

It would take up too much space to adequately articulate my thinking, but I’ll just say that I haven’t given up so much as changed my beliefs. The hard part is not allowing my new way of thinking to drift into bitterness.

@ Moe:

Fabie took the words right out of my mouth. But I cannot hate.

@J Thought
The game ain’t over until it’s over. lol

@Moe

or until you break a hip…HA! (excuse me..I’m kinda loopy off the Theraflu and Halls drops)

@Chels
I frequent the gym for a reason. lol

@chelsea,

I couldn’t stop through without giving at least one joke…lol

@Moe

dont make me feel bad…I havent worked out since I left the Navy…I had kinda sworn it off.

Thats gonna be my resolution…get back in shape

@Chels
Why did you swear it off?

@Moe

I’ve never worked out so much in my life as wehen I went to the military…and I’ve learned that I get bulky very easily…I was at my heaviest (due to muscle I guess) when I left…160lbs on my lil 5’3 frame so I came home and just got lazy. But i do miss PT and I do miss how toned I was…

and I miss being yelled at and singing cadences…**sighs**…memories

@Just a Thought,

You’re right. That is the hardest part.

@Chels
You need to get back into it. Heart disease and diabetes are not to be played with…especially with the type of food we eat.

‘and I miss being yelled at and singing cadences…**sighs**…memories’

I left that in basic training…and I don’t miss it. lol

@ chels:

I do dance classes (ballet, jazz, and some hip hop). You get the toning w/o all the bulk. Plus it’s fun. I hate working out too, but I try to maintain a certain size and shape. Wouldn’t want Moe to not be my cyberfriend anymore if i got over a size 8, Ha!

@J Thought
See what Reina started? lol

FG,
funny ha ha!
How do we know ure joking? lol

LOL @ Just
You know how he is!

@Fab,

I guess you don’t know. But if that were the case, I’d seriously be praying for anyone that reads my column, and taking any of my advice.

You put it out there. But I’m not tripping because I don’t like fat boys (they love me, unfortunately). I don’t even like dudes with fat-boy tendencies. If you even look like you have the potential to get portly, who and I have nothing to talk about. There’s a big difference between having a little meat on your bones and being a piggy in training.

@J Thought
You said you were “exotic”…I’ll let you be my cyberfriend if you get up to 8.5. lol

# 46 was directed to Moe.

Love is hard and terrifying. It is nothing like the fairy tales engrained into us growing up or as romantic comedies portray. No room of strangers will break out into spontaneous songs when the lovers spot each other. It will take more than a kiss to save one from the consequences of a poisoned past.

For me, being single is easy. My only responsibility is to myself. There’s no need for me to explain my behaviour to anyone. No need to open myself to vulnerabilty in fairness. There’s comfort in the loneliness. The fact remains that it is loneliness. And once you stop hiding behind your anger and fear, you realize that love is necessary and stop misinterpreting every sincerity as bullshit.

At least, that’s been my experience.

@ Moe:

Nah bruh. I’m the blackest black girl you ever did (cyber) meet. Plus, I’d cry myself to sleep every night if I got to a size 8 and hadn’t had at least two children. I have a slim frame, so anything over a 6 means I’ve been munching on too many quarter pounders and too much Pepsi.

FG,
*praying*
Moeski and FG,
How you ever taken a vow of celibacy? Well, yall know what i mean, not really a vow but stepping away from the FWBs and all that

@Fab
I have taken a break, but it wasn’t something I planned out.

@ reina:

Very poetic. I have just had too much bullshit that I’m still in the process of clearing out to be as open to loving again. Or, maybe just loving totally. On one hand I know that by holding back (when I meet someone worthy) I’d be missing out, but on the other I have come to the conclusion that there should always be a piece of me that no one has access to under any circumstances.

@ fabie:

Stop bringing sex into the equation. LOL

cool, Moeski. How long? (if you dont mind me asking)
@ Rei
How are you doing today??

@Fab
I don’t know…I really wasn’t keeping track. But a good guess would be several months.

Just, what did i do?? *sad face* lol

Can I ask everyone a question?

When was the last time you were in “love” and what was the one reason, in your opinion, it didnt last? Or..how do you know it was really love?

@Fab,

No.

I would go into to greater detail as to why I say that, but I don’t really talk about my sex life or my positions regarding it too much

I’m an open book on every other issue in my life, so I might as well keep something private, you know? (no disrespect intended)

@ JustA

To say that I can commiserate with that point of view is an understatement. Bullshit, I know and have experienced personally, and it has left me jaded. The thing is because I’ve experienced it, it’s been my position to place the burden on the guy to prove that he wouldn’t lead me to that same BS. I’d developed a pattern, and I always had pride & nonchalance on my side if that pattern made me lose him.

Love requires understanding and commitment to the betterment from both sides. It’s a hard lesson to learn and live. I’m a WIP, and I’m lucky to have a guy who’s willing to progress with me.

@Moe

duly noted…I’m tryna get my sexy back…maybe I’ll meet a dude at the gym…there are some sexy ones there!

@JAT
yeah thats a good idea (dance classes, etc)

@ blaze:

Last in love 5yrs ago. Knew it was real love when I wanted what was best for him even though it was not something that I wanted. It didn’t last bcuz 1, at our core we were not compatible, and 2, he didn’t love me (he may have been in love with me, but didn’t love me, if that makes sense).

After that, I haven’t let my guard down enough to progress to that point when I have dated a person.

@ reina:

I’m glad you had someone who’s willing to work with you. The only relationships I’ve had were not like that. Both dudes said that they wanted to walk with me as I grew as a person, but they were jealous of any success that I had.

@ fab

I’m doing good today. I’m happy. Can’t stop smiling.

@ JustA

You would cry if you became a Size 8? Surely, you’re joking?

@ reina:

Yes I would cry. I don’t gain weight in the hourglass pattern, so if I got to a size 8 I’d likely be all stomach. Not a good look.

Thanks for answering, Moe!
@ blaze
I havent been in love so cant answer that question
@ chelz/Just
I just got one of those work-out pack to use at home. Gotta start on that!

@ reina:

If I was larger after one or two children, that wouldn’t bother me much, but being relatively young, and childless, gaining too much weight right now would signify that I’m not taking care of myself.

*Takes profile off of craigslist*

Damn. ;-p

lmao@and1

really?

@JAT

I agree with what you’re saying. I dont know if I would consider a size 8 big (this is coming from a woman who really has no idea what size she is…6? 8? who knows) but I wouldn’t want to get much bigger than I am now…even if I do have kids

I for one will be the optismistic poster child of FG today, I’m open to find love and experiencing that feeling again, if I get hurt again then oh well dust myself after falling on the ground and move on. (Thats what makes life interesting) its the risk you take no matter how you you bad you got burned in the past,can’t base the future on your past because you will always remain sitting in one spot in your life.

@ chels:

It’s not so much the size as to where it would go. I don’t gain weight in my chest, so it’s all stomach, butt, and thighs. I gain weight in my face too, so that is something I want to avoid. I know it sounds crazy me saying that a size 8 is too big, but for my frame, that is really the largest that I ever want to get. Every woman needs to focus on her own body, how it works, where the weight goes, etc.

And1,
You always come in here with a bang!
HAHAHAHAHA
When i get home, ill send you this link to your favorite site. They had something on there about posting on craiglist.
nisha,
stop lurking!!
* Where is Ms??

@ JustA

He wasn’t easily found, and I definitely encountered my share of duds along the way toward him.

As for as size/shape, I get you. I stepped on a scale this summer and had a quick stroke. My weight goes to my hips/thighs first before attacking the tummy. I definitely amped up the workouts, but as I type this, I’m licking cupcake frosting off my fingers.

@ reina:

Ha! Sugary drinks are my weakness. I can ignore cake and brownies and chocolate, but put a ice cold can of pepsi in front of me and I start shaking like Pookie from new Jack City.

@blaze

Last time in love: five years ago?

How did I know: it took me a long time to realize actually. It was one of my best friends in high school and our relationship just shifted.

It didn’t last because he was–and could possibly still be–rather self-sabotaging.

all these love songs….sigh

@blaze

last time I was in love? two years ago.

@J thought and Blue
Since you’ve experienced it before do you still believe in it? Do you think timing had something to do with it not working?

IMO opinion I think timing is the most crucial aspect of trying to love someone. We’re at all different phases of our lives.

@fab

You know me well…lmao I was lurking

uhhh trying to take fg words and apply them.

@ JustA

I’m not giving up any of my food addictions to preserve this figure. One day, it will catch up to me. My guy should prepare himself.

@ blaze:

That relationship not working out wasn’t the final nail in the coffin of my belief in love, but it started the process. It’s not that I don’t believe in love totally, but I don’t really believe that Love is what I used to think it was. Plus, I’ve had too many people (family and associates) who only cared for me for the wrong reasons, so it’s hard for me to believe that a person will love me and not my representative or what I can do for them.

I think timing is definitely a big factor in staying with a person, but not necessairly loving them. I wasn’t ready for marriage when I truly loved someone, and that played a part in our not being together. It didn’t lessen my love for them, but it made it difficult for us because he wanted something that, while I wanted it, I didn’t want to go into it knowing that I wasn’t prepared. That, and he didn’t want to admit that having his two best friends getting engaged was the main motivation for him to take me ring shopping.

@ reina:

LOL, girl I’m already paying for my food addictions (there are a few centimeters that remind me of my lack of discipline). I just go into rehab from time to time. Especially when my smallest pair of jeans doesn’t button closed.

@ Just a Thought, I concur with ur intial statement! Although I hope that my feelings and situation change soon, cause I don’t want to loose hope for myself!

@reina

that was eloquent.

@blaze

Yeah, I think my experience of love–because I knew his pattern…I knew it had nothing to do with me so it didn’t taint my view that much.

Timing is def. key. My friend has been speaking toward timing for some time…she believes it has completely less to do with how one looks/personality as to the timing of what the person is looking for.

@ exaviergirl:

Not losing hope is a choice, one that I have not fully committed to yet. It depends on the day if I am a hopeless romantic or a cynic. But you will have to make that choice in spite of circumstances IMO because life will make you not want to deal with people.

Where is Moe? I thought for sure my last statement would’ve brought a response from him.

@ JustA

Yeah, mine began to catch up with me, but I have so many other things to stress about that my weight is not a priority.

@ Nisha

Hi Girly! How are you? Thank you, but what was?

@Blaze

last time I was in love (?) was with the fiancee…I knew that’s what it was because I was more than willing to let him make the decisions and just went along with whatever he decided was best. And I remember never wanting to disappoint him or change his image of me.

And you all know the story of why it didnt work…

@Reina
In the Lurk City Lounge…eating pizza.

As for your comment…we’ll talk about that when I become your guy.

@Blue
I was having that same conversation about the importance of timing with a young lady last night. I had to encounter losing good women, the breakups, etc to get to the point where I was ready for a long term relationship. Wasnt that I was a bad guy but I had to learn a few more lessons to truly appreciate someone.

@JaT
“…so it’s hard for me to believe that a person will love me and not my representative…”

Your what now? Is “representative” code for something?

@Moeski

Lurk City Lounge? Pizza? lmao….

@and1
The “representative” is that wonderful person they show you during the first 6 months of the relationship before all hell breaks loose. lol

@ Blue/Blaze

Not to butt in on your conversation. Ok, yes I do. But I do agree that timing is definitely important. If I met my guy even a year ago, we would not be working out.

@ Moe

So if I gain weight in my current relationship and get to a size 10, that’s a no?

@Reina
I told you…I don’t deal in hypotheticals! lol

(you will NOT be setting me up with THAT question)

LMAO

@Chelsea do you even want to be in love again? I know it was a traumatic experience and you will never be totally vulnerable towards “man”kind.But seriously what do you want later on down then line?

LMAO, Reina…he has learned his lesson (for now)
But we’ll get him again. Remember he says he doesnt lie well

@ T-Moe:

all hell does not break loose after 6 months! LOL My representative is my hard exterior, when I’m really a big softy. Most people think the toughness they see is all there is to me. I’m a giving person, but I’m more quiet and practical in my giving. I may not shower you with a bunch of flowery romantic words, but if I see your sweater has a hole in it, I’ll buy you a new one just cuz. People also think I’m more outgoing than I am, but that’s because I’m dazzling in one-on-one conversations and tend to be more quiet in a crowd.

@DMV ppl
Is it me but are all of you getting mad phone calls about people needing a place to stay for inauguration weekend?

@Fab
I’m not going to lie…I’m not gonna answer the question. lol

@LL

Thats a loaded question. Yes and no.

Yes because I’m a woman and dammit I want to be loved and cherished and spoiled and all that mushy stuff that comes with it. I also want the arguments and the silent treatments because that’s the realistic part.

No because I can’t get over my disappointment. How could someone go so far to pledge a commitment to me, my family, plan a family WITH me, and plan a wedding, but be living an entirely double (and triple) life with other women? If my FIANCEE did that, I dont even want to imagine what other horrors lay in wait with men in the future. I just can’t do it.

Maybe it’s just me today. But I listened to the first two songs and was too irritated to get to the third. Why are these sappy love songs bothering me so? I think I need to sit this one out.

@Blaze
The only way any of my peeps can make it here is if I pay for it…so my phone is quiet. lol

@ Ms.

FG has fallen hard. We have to prepare ourselves for an onslaught of sappiness.

@ Fab

I know. Still, I’ll catch him at the end of the workday when he’s too hungry to be diplomatic.

blaze,
I already got 2!! I thought it was only me
@ Just
wow you sound just like me

@Moe
lol..you might need to rent out some of your roooms. Hotels are close to $400 if available. I’ve had over 30 calls and counting. Only the cats that had the foresight of Barack winning called me earlier this summer and those are the ones Im giving my crib up to.

I don’t know why but all of a sudden I’m getting pressure from everyone to get out there and start dating. ‘You’re 23 now, you should have something going on’ no I’m having all these doubts and junk. Feeling all love sick, this isn’t helping at all. I need to listen to something else…

@ fabie:

You’re my caribbean equivalent, LOL!

@ blaze & Moe:

I surely did think to call my girl who lives in that area, but I can’t stand her BF, and they live together.

@Blaze
I could definitely make some money…but the hell with that. I can’t have a bunch of strange people in my house tearing up my ish. lol

G Afternoon everybody

@ Miss

I feel you..thats why im listening to Gospel

@ Miss:

The pressure doesn’t go away. But I’m used to the nonsense because my mother, in her loving but misguided way, has been nagging about me getting married since I was 14.

@ JustA

14? My mom at least waited until the day of my college graduation.

@Chelsea hopefully you can let your guard down a bit one day sweetie and you not will block yourself from a blessing. I know it is hard as hell and you may never get over that (trust me I been there) but thats life… Its a lot of shitty men out there true enough, but don’t live your life being cynical, if all women stay that way we all will be lesbian and bitter. HOPE HOPE ALIVE MAMI lmao

Just
lol yay!
Hey Luving!

@Moe
I feel you..Relatives as well will tear your spot up. I might have a hook up on some Jesse Jr. inaugural events..I’ll keep you all posted. Word in Chi is that he might get that Senator spot in Illinois once Barack transistions over.

@J thought
How are your hook ups coming along? U got my name on the list?

@ reina:

My mother was not so insightful. I heard more about marriage in high school than I did about what college to attend. And even then her advice about that was centered around my finding a husband. I have half a mind to tell her that I’m gay and moving to connecticut to marry a woman, but she’d go into cardiac arrest. I can’t have that on my conscience.

@ blaze:

hook ups? for inaugural events? LOL! My hook ups are just wishful thinking!

@ JustA

LMAO! I tried that lesbian angle. She didn’t believe me for a second. This is the woman that calls me every Friday night with the hope that I’m with a man. If I answer the phone, she’s disappointed. When I don’t answer, she calls me the next morning to see if I had sex.

Hey Fab!

@ Just
I have half a mind to tell her that I’m gay and moving to connecticut to marry a woman, but she’d go into cardiac arrest. I can’t have that on my conscience.

Thats funny lol. Reminds me of the time my mom was criticizing gays, and I told her I was gay (im not) to see how she would react.

@reina

Just got some lunch…I thought what you said about not losing hope on love was eloquent.

14? WOW My mom stopped pestering me but she was heavily on me about 2 years ago when my cousins/close friends started having babies.

Luving,
I cant even play wit my mom like that! she would NEVER let it go lol
nish,
Lunch time already? ure making me hungrier

@fab..yes mamas I was starving lol

@ Reina:

I think I could fool her. It’s not like I’ve dated alot, and I do fit the stereotype. That and she feels that because I’m over 25 and single, that I have failed in the great husband quest. She’s already started pestering me to provide grandchildren, forgetting that she already has 4 to spoil. Next time she opens a phone conversation with “are you dating anyone yet,” I’m answering with “Yes, and she is the most wonderful person I’ve ever been in love with.”

@J Thought
On the real though I do see a lot of women crossing over lately..giving up on men all together.

@blaze

Most of my family is content to watch it on the television…my friends I guess they know I am not big on houseguests .

@ Fab

I couldn’t resist. We were joking about it not too long ago over dinner with my father. Well my dad and I had jokes, shes was a bit embarrassed but she got over it.

@ blaze
I can understand why women do it, unfortunately and fortunately I’m not built that way. Women will understand romance better, men see romance as an obligation to get avoid a fight.

@blaze

You are right, everywhere I go out here you see really pretty women who are draped over another female who looks like a boy. No offense to anyone. I just dont understand it.

@ blaze:

I can understand a lot of women being hurt, and thinking that another woman is the only way that they will get the affection they need, but that’s not my cup of tea. I like the ruggedness of a man, his hardness (and yes, the other hardness as well).

@ blaze
I think its fine if love b/w women are genuine but i really think that some women are running to other women because they are not with a man they want at the moment. Its a phase that they go through- their way of saying “eff men”. They may be using that other woman which is not cool.

@LL

I want to be able to do that, but I can’t get past what has happened. I have never been subjected to something so evil and underhanded in all my life. I’m only 20 and this is a f**ked up thing to go thru and a hell of a way to feel.

And every guy that has approached me since has been disappointment after disappointment. I’m not a man hater, I just don’t believe in relationships anymore. I really don’t…sigh

Chels you are a man hater…lol

@Blaze

Only on Wednesdays

@ JustA

My mom was very adamant about education, but I was supposed to multitask. Obtain my degree and a husband. I’m a failure in her eyes, but she’s really hopeful now that I’m in a relationship. If she had her way, we’d be married by Christmas.

As for man driving women to another woman, I COMPLETELY understand.

@Reina
Tell us more about this new dude you have. Is this the same one you mentioned a few weeks ago?

So women don’t cheat? Women aren’t abusive? Women aren’t sneaky? Women don’t belittle women and strip them of confidence? IMO, being homosexual because you’ve been ‘wronged’ by a man is not playing it safe. Relationships hurt, whether they’re hetero- or homosexual…everyone you let in your life romanticaly has the power to destroy you.

And I have lots of lesbian/bi-sexual friends and trust me when I tell you ‘gay drama is the WORST drama!’

‘I think its fine if love b/w women are genuine but i really think that some women are running to other women because they are not with a man they want at the moment. Its a phase that they go through- their way of saying “eff men”. They may be using that other woman which is not cool.’

Well said Fabie!

@ Blaze

What was I saying weeks ago? And what do you want to know?

Nevermind Reina…its all good.

@ chelz
Thank you, Madame! N ure so right about ppl who we let in having the power to hurt us. Thats why we have to choose carefully and sometimes, not choose at all. I dont think that ppl (both men n women) think about relationships in that sense but that is really how it is.

where’s Miss? and Black? and Tubbs? And everybody else? Is there a black hole in the cyber world that everyone is falling into?

@chelz

you are right because a cloooose girlfriend of mine was dating this girl and everything was ok (they had problems but who doesnt), honey the girl took my friend car and slept with her ex bf and ex gf…drama.

DMV ppl
WHats up for tomorrow night…Is it still on?

@Nisha

exactly…my friends have told me theire girlfriends going back and sleeping with men and getting pregnant…cheating with both men and women…all kinds of foolishness

blaze
That i know of, yes!

@dmv ppl

I am in…tell me where we are going again? I dont know my way around maryland let alone dc lol

@DMV ppl

sooo………

i got jealous that you guys are hanging out together and decided to see how much damage weekened flight to the area would cost me…and its not even $150…

at that rate I could fly there every week! So there really was no reason for me to have missed HU’s homecoming this year and now I am very upset…jsut thought I would put that out there…

I’m sitting this one out. I have nothing positive to add to this conversation really.
But on the real, Tubbs where are you? I’m concerned dude.

@Chelsea I can understand that, you are only 20 talking like this? I swear I thought you were older. YOUR TOO YOUNG TO BE TALKING LIKE THAT GIRL !!! You were a baby when that happened, so yeah you were blind to some things that went on, but know you will be ready for the next one that comes along, you would be stronger and wiser

I am also wondering who started to spell my name with a ‘z’? I like it…i think i’m gonna change my name on this site to ‘Chelz’

@Miss

Made any threats to your daughter lately? they always crack me up….

@LL

this actually happened in July…and I wouldn’t exactly say ‘baby’…

@ nish
Yea, we dont want you getting lost around here. Then id have to come rescue you and uhhh we’d b both lost lol
Busboy n poets @ 8pm
Jin (next door) after
Right, blaze/Luving/Moe/blue (ure coming right)?
@ chelz
you’re serious? you would come??

I’m in for Busboys…Jin might be past my bedtime…lol

Did we determine how we were going to know each other?

@Fab

$150-170 (taxes) for a roundtrip flight for the weekend? Hell yeah I would come…not THIS weekend, but I could easily do that. No sweat…thats crazy cheap. It used to cost me damn near $400 from Fl to Chicago!

*raises hand* Ill take credit for that, chelz!! hehe

@Fab

I shoulda known **shakes head**

BEHOLD!

I AM NOW…..

*********CHELZ*************

blue
Its past mine too but what the heck? I dont get out much so gotta make it count!! I think we’re still thinking about recognizing each other. Stand in the corner? lol
chelz
Well, let us know when you wanna come then!

This morning she wouldn’t get out of bed so I told her I would leave her there and she would be hungry since she doesn’t know how to use the microwave and she would be bored because she doesn’t know how to turn on the computer to watch Chris Brown and elmo. Needless to say she got her behind up.

@chelz

I thought I did the ‘Z’

@fab

*whatchu talking bout willis

Oh yeah how are we going to knwo each other?

Maybe you should all wear FG scarlet red.

@chelsea ok so that break up is still fresh……..CARRY ON WITH THE CYNICALISM ….ITS YOUR PARTY , YOU CAN HATE IF YOU WANT TO (ON WEDNESDAYS as you say)lmao

@Miss

HYSTERICAL!! Where do you come up with this stuff. When I need to threaten my future children, Imma put them on the phone with Auntie Vick and watch them get whipped into shape! lmao…

@Fab

Next month sometime definitely

lol @ Ms…she has good taste: Chris Brown. I dont know about elmo tho LOL
@ nish
Did you? I dont remember that!
@ And1
hmmm not a bad idea. What do yall think, XYers?

@Fab

actually REINA needs to stop lurking because we could make this a whole FG Fam reunion…

@JAT

what about you? Could you make a trip? It’ll probably cost you around the same to fly out…

you just learn to say things at random. no empty threats either that could never happen. none of this ‘i brought you in this world i can take you out’ she knows I wont end her life, but I might take your shoes, lock you out of the house, break your chris brown cd, hang your baby doll up by her little legs, possibilities are endless…

She loves her Chris Breezy huh?

We usually tell my nephew we’re gonna call the police on his lil self…he immediately sits down and shuts up

fabie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpxw0iCP4q4

don’t threaten black children with the police…not cool.

@Miss

its not that the police are bad…he just doesnt like the siren so its funny. He feels the same about ambulances and even certain ice cream trucks

@miss

lmao

@fab

I think so little grasshopper. I have a friend I call chelz too lol.
I am going to send you my # so I can call you if there are any mishaps lol.

lol @ chelz cousin..awww poor baby!
Next month? cool! Well, as long as its not too much money (for u) since its around holiday time
@ Ms
Will def have to check that out when i get home. youtube is blocked here

@ms
Dear God, am I gonna have to watch that kinda stuff when I’m a parent? Thats scary.

@ Chelz:

Girl, flights outta this hell hole are always expensive. You live in a major city, I don’t. I might see what I could do…

@JAT

where are you? near Gainesville or Tally? Pensacola?

@Fab

are you kidding me? That’ll be a perfect xmas gift to myself (besides the new cell phone and new laptop I will also be gifting myself) so it should def. not be a problem at all…wait…isnt it snowing there?

@ nish
lil grasshopper? HAHAHAHA love that! Ill send you mine too. Dont want anything to happen to my BFF
Where did blaze/Moe go?? We need to discuss if they’ll be wearing FG’s scarlet red!!

chelz,
new cellphone n laptop? cool! which ones do you want? No snow here…yet

@ fema

Yes. You have absolutely no say in the matter either. We watch a video of talking hamsters. I was just happy to see a real life human.

and don’t try to act like Elmo wasn’t getting it.

@fab

yes no tube for me either

@ Chelz… (What’s with the ellipses?

I was not lurking. I was feeding my form.

I’m okay with a meetup as I go to DC often. Right now, it’s not on my agenda until next year.

@Fab

that new t-mobile g1…the fake iphone that is also a slider…been DYING to get it…and laptop? not completely sure yet…something cool. I’ll see

@Reina

dont make fun of my dots! Hater…anyway…next year? Boo! you live right next door! **pictures map** Right?

@ Chelz:

I’m in Tally. I have yet to plan my B-day festivities (in January) and I —- scratch that, my b-day is right before inauguration. Looks like I’m heading to a beach somewhere.

@Fab
You want me to wear a scarlet red blazer..?

@ chelz
lol @ fake iphone. My sis got hers n LOVES it! I think i want it too but we’ll c. Im fickle when it comes to phones.

@JAT

Tally huh? lol…thats a major city chick! the capital of florida! oh…i forget that all of Fl doesnt have beaches like we do down here…you should spend ur bday on South Beach…you’d have a blast!

@ Chelz…

It’s a four hour drive and an hour flight. I think the train ride is like 6 or so. Still, the rest of my year has been taken already.

blaze
would you?

@Fab
um….nahhh

@Fab

she likes it huh? ok..I gotta get it. My bro’s friend had it and I tried to steal it, but he caught me, so…

@Reina

see..I knew I was good at geography!

@Blaze

you should do it! That’d be hot!

blaze
y?

@ Chelz:

No no my dear, Tallahassee is most definitely NOT a major city. Most decent restaurants close at 10. The fanciest place to shop is Dillards, and rush hour traffic here is the equivalent 10 am traffic on any given day in Chicago or ATL.

I was thinking about going to south beach for my b-day. Especially since it falls on a long weekend.

@ Everyone (Moe, come out of lurking)

How do you guys deal with your significant other having friends of the opposite sex? Does it bother you? Are you suspicious? What say you?

@ blaze:

you had me worried with the red blazer suggestion. Glad to see you have some sense.

On a tangent, I invited a guy I was dating to a semiformal dinner. I told him I was wearing a black dress with minimal red accents, so it would be nice if he’d match me. Do you know he wanted to get a red suit? Needless to say, we didn’t last long.

@ Reina:

I’m not a fan of friends of the opposite sex, but it’s unreasonable to expect people not to have friends like that. There have to be ground rules. No one that you were in a relationship (or situation) with. No one you actively tried to get at but got shot down. No one that is actively trying to get at you. And definitely no one that does not respect our relationship.

@Reina
I have no prob with opposite sex friends. In fact, I endorse it. The perspective from an opposite sex friend can be invaluable to a relationship. That said, there ARE times when you should be suspicious. Like the friend only wanting to be in contact with your SO when you arent around…stuff like that.

@ Just
well, damn…thats everybody then!! LOL
N there is nothing wrong with a red blazer!!
@ Reina
Like Just said, def no one that u were feeling in any kinda way except real friendship. In my experience, men dont set clear boundaries with their female friends so I am def leery when i hear “my friend ____”
@ chelz
You did NOT try to steal it! LOL U have to get a data plan with it but other than that, i havent heard any complaints.

@JaT, Fab
So would I have to exterminate my friendships with exes in order for my relationship with either of you to move forward? Personally, I’d have a problem with that.

@ JustA

LOL So she must be someone he met in kindergarten? LOL

I don’t really care if my SO has friends of the opposite sex. I encourage it actually. Like And1 said, maybe she’ll give you my perspective on a situation. My past bfs has always seen my having friends of the opposite sex differently. They assume all want to invade the goodies, which may be true for some. Still, desires do not equal reality.

@ fabie:

That’s not everybody. I had a male friend that had no interest in me, and I def had zero interest in him. Over time tho, I suspect he got deeper feelings, and that’s why we fell out.

And girl, red blazers are never a good idea.

@ and1:

I’m leery of most dudes’ female friends. 90% of the time the dude had a romantic entanglement with the woman, and that only causes trouble.

@ and1 and Reina:

It’s not that I don’t want him to have friends of the opposite sex. I’m just leery. I’ve had bad experiences with those kinds of situations, so it would take a long time for me to be 100% comfortable.

And1,
I didnt say anything about exterminating at all. I wouldnt necessarily like it (Id have to observe yall actions/interactions) but you’re a grown man so you’re gonna do whatever. You wouldnt have to do anything but make sure you set boundaries with ur “friendship”.

@JaT
Is that a yes?

@JAT

it’s a college town! They have to keep the teen crowd wrangled in! lol..

@Fab
I most certainly did try to slide it out of his pocket (they were playing basketball so it was left by us in the bleachers unattended)

And yeah the data plan is an extra $35 i think

@Reina

I hate females cuz they’re grimey. They rub me the wrong way because no dude is ever completely honest about what that female is to him exactly so I agree with JAT

@Fabie
Definitely need boundaries. No disagreement there.

@J Thought
No need to worry,I dont even own piece of clothing thats scarlet red..lol

@ and1:

No, in the hypothetical you posed, you would not have to end all friendships with former SOs. But best believe I’m observing EVERYTHING about your interaction with the ones that start my spider senses tingling.

@Reina
I don’t have a problem with my SO having friends of the opposite sex. As long as her friends respect the boundaries of our relationship. I have close female friends that are like sisters to me. I’m actually the Godfather of one of their sons, so I can’t have a problem with it. And they do provide me with a female perspective to relationships. I learn through them just how differently men and women see things.

@ Just/Reina
It does seems to point toward men being our friends because they hope for something more. Once you’re in my “friend zone”, that is where you stay..absolutely no-go! Im sure women do the same tho. My male friends are for good laughs, getting advice and perscpectives, friendships…nothing more

Oh…and my response to wearing a scarlet colored anything tomorrow night would be a resounding…..no.

@JaT
Seems fair. As long as you dont go all Enemy of the State on me.

And1, glad we agree
Moe,
Would you wear a red blazer?

@ Moe
well damn, guess that’s my answer. What about red pants?

My problem is that my closed female friends are women that I may have kicked it with for a minute but led to a good friendship..Do I need to cut the freindship off once Im in a relationship? Tell the truth? Its a tough situation to explain that to your SO.

@ and1:

I don’t do all that snooping through drawers and phones and other things. Most of the time there are other changes that will let you know that a person is up to no good, you just have to recognize it.

how about everyone just post headshots as their pics so we can just see what we all look like and can identify each other…

@ blaze:
see # 203, 204, 209, and 217

@Fab
Read #212 again…

J thought
what are you sayin I need to catch up..? My boss straight bum rushed my desk and I had FG all on the screen.

LOL Moe…a red cap/headgear? lol
Luving,
we cant post anything. Site is under construction
blaze,
IMHO, yes you do.

LOL @ blaze…bum rushed? HAHAHAHA

@Fab
Im serious..lol..and I didnt have my hand on my mouse so she was looking dead at the screen. What are you wearing tomorrow? I’ll be at Jin for sure..might miss you all at Bus Boy at 8pm.

@ all youse

I do agree that boundaries are necessary, and as long as she respects them, I won’t have a problem with it. I don’t really care about from whence the relationship originated. I would go so far as to say that if he and she had sex the day before we started dating, I could still accept the friendship.

But let me think…

@ Reina:

Not I. I prefer that they either never desired/had a sexual relationship or that it was at least not in the past 12 months.

Honestly how many of you would tell your SO that you had sex in the past with one of your good friends from the opposite sex that are constantly around ?

@Reina

I agree with chelz…females are grimey. If the female is a friend she needs to know me and play her position as the friend, and nothing more.

oh yeah a red blazer is not bad if you know how to rock it.

@Reina
“I would go so far as to say that if he and she had sex the day before we started dating, I could still accept the friendship.”

SURVEY SAYS..XXX…yeah right!

Reina,
WHOA…still thinking?

@dmw ppl

what is jin like>

@blaze
I wouldnt.

@And1
Same here…thats one I completely avoid. Hate to lie but damn….

@ Blaze

I wouldn’t tell unless he asked.

@ the ladies

I’ve thought…and I still wouldn’t care. I’m in a relationship with him, not her. She can be as grimey as she wants, but I’m concerned with his actions. If she respects me, she stays. If she doesn’t, she goes. If he doesn’t let her go, I’ll let him go.

Depends on the SO. Some dudes can handle that kind of info, but most can’t. If I notice a guy friend is out of line, then I will cut him off immediately.

@ blaze:

I don’t have that issue, but I do ask straight up which friends my SO slept with.

@rei rei
But the day before? I mean come on.

@blaze
I guess we’d be having to lie to JaT about that one. lol

@Reina
I ask all the time and closely watch their interactions like J Thought said #209….and when I’m asked I completely deny. Even though I did sleep with them before and that was it, some of them became good friends that know all about me. Im not going to end those friendships at all….

@ blaze & and1:

I’m an excellent information gatherer, so if I ever get evidence that you lied, that’s your behind buddy.

But that alone is not reason enought to end the relationship. Maybe withhold sex for a while. But not call it quits.

@ and1

So he has sex with her on Monday night and sees me Tuesday morning. We go to dinner that night. Weeks later, we morph into a committed relationship. Why would I care if they remained friends? He didn’t know me then.

@And1
All day everyday….and we couldnt slip up arounf that friend in particular since J Thought would be scoping our every movement (even though I would be thinking to myself how I waxed it back in the day).

lol @ blaze

@JaT
You would never find out. At least, not from me. I’m practically a spy when it comes to secrets.

@and1
My forgetful azz would get caught.

@Reina
I dunno. I cant help but think it would give someone pause.

@ and1:

all people slip up. And you think I’m using only what I get from you as evidence. people are creature of habit, and they give away information in all kinds of ways.

But let me stop. I only go into super sleuth mode when I have a reason to. Other than that I don’t have the time or the energy.

@J thought
I got some homegirls who know their role, will become good friends with your SO and still let a nig have it whenever..if I was shady like that.

@moe
But I think you said you’re not a good liar. Me…I’m an excellent liar.

@and1
I can make up a great lie, and look her in the eye while I’m saying it. I have trouble remembering the lie I told.

@Moe
U would never forget which homegirls you tapped in the past..lol

@Blaze
True true..lol

I’m a horrible liar…I get all defensive and start stuttering…talking loud or talking really really softly or just plain forgetting…I still try it though….I’m sure everyone sees thru me, but hey…sometimes you have to do it and hope they dont call you on it

@ Blaze

That’s unfair. You ask her questions and desire the truth but do not reciprocate?

@ JustA

Lying to me will come back to bite you in the ass. As most people have noted on this site, things tend to stick in my memory. There’s no need for me to start snooping for clues. He’ll snitch on himself indirectly or a circumstance will.

My thing is don’t lie about the friendship (whether there was sex before or not) dont lie at all. If you are honest with me about it I can deal.

@JaT
The only way you’d be able to find out is if I spoonfed you clues b/c I was being too arrogant that you could never figure it out. Only then would I slip. But I know better.

@ blaze:

Like I told and1, there are a lot of ways that people give themselves away when they’re doing dirt. You won’t catch it 100% of the time, but you can catch it.

And, if that chick was pretending to be my friend and threw the p at you, and you took it, I might have to revert to my ghetto upbringing.

I would never admit which homegirls I hit….even if it was years ago…it never flies with current SO’s. Women are more truthful…they have no problems telling you the truth and then dare you to trip….

@ and1/Blaze/Moe

I don’t believe any man is a good liar. I’d gamble more on your dealing with females in the past who were too scared to lose you and therefore chose not to accept the truth.

@J Thought
you could snoop and ask around all around town. Nowadays you cant even tell your boys who you hittin because they’re snakes as well. U can’t tell anybody your dirt.

Seriously have any of you looked through your mans phone before? Checked missed calls? Old phone bills….? Don’t lie…

@ and1:

dude, people give off clues that they don’t recognize. One of the reasons I knew one of my exes was cheating was because how he kissed me was different. There were none of the big red flags, but that small thing let me know the end was at hand.

@Blaze

but trippin is not going to change that fact that he/she was butt naked covered with honey and making jungle noises. It is what it is…leave that ish in the past. But dont have homegirl smiling all up in my face. Those be the most scandalous b**ches, anyway. “Oh Chelsea girl, Mike loves you so much! I can tell!”

B**ch! Get out of my face with that fake friendly ish…I see right thru that!

@Estrogen Coalition and affiliates
Why do so many of you say this: “If you are honest with me about it I can deal.”

Its not true. Its never been true. It wont ever be true.

Bonus question: What foolish man actually believed that and how fast did you kick him to the curb b/c of it?

**looks around sheepishly…raises hand**

I’ve done it all….hacked myspace pages, broken into email, checked cell phones, called jobs, did late night drive-bys…pretty much the gamut…not a pretty site to be doin ish like that…not at all

@Reina
The last time a woman caught me in a lie…I was 21. That’s the last time I told a major lie to a woman.

(Reassuring her she looks cute in an outfit she never should’ve left the house in doesn’t count)

@Chelz
On the real we wouldn’t even bring them around you. For what?

@ blaze:

The only time I have checked old phone bills was post breakup. It was immature, but that was the only time I’d ever really cared for someone, and I (stupidly) wanted to know how long he’d been straying.

I’m more into watching a dude’s behavior. People lie all the time so asking them questions only works if you ask the same question different ways sporadically over a period of months.

@Reina
I’d be willing to take that bet and I’d take you for everything you own. Never underestimate a man’s ability to lie.

@JaT
A good liar can get away with anything. Not everyone is a good liar.

@And1
Exactly, then they say “just be honest with me”…Ladies does that even work on cats.

@Chels
Did you do that to your fiance?

@Reina
The only reason she caught me was because she asked me the same question a month later and I forgot I lied and told the truth.

@ and1:

I tell dudes that I prefer the truth. I don’t lie and say that I won’t be mad. There are some small lies that will just aggravate me for a little while. There are some lies that will end the relationship. For the latter, if you couldn’t have chosen to tell me the truth, and didn’t, then I will strongly pray for the strength not to have your utilities cut off and your car towed to an undisclosed location.

People lie all the time so asking them questions only works if you ask the same question different ways sporadically over a period of months.

*erupts into applause*

@ and1

I can’t recall ever making that statement in my life. I want the truth, but I’m not guaranteeing my response to it.

@ Moe

Well, you haven’t lied since.

@and1
“If you are honest with me about it I can deal.”

I agree…that’s a setup for yo azz.

@Blaze

I sure did…I knew something wasn’t right with him, but I couldn’t figure out what. So i started snooping, and I found a plethora of ‘circumstancial’ evidence…and he was so nonchalant about it i started second guessing myself and i let it go…then the ish hit the fan and I felt retarded for not just doing what I thought to do in the first place.

Fema is a good liar…interesting.

@J Thought
So you didnt pick up on the red flags while you were together? Thought you were good at observing (#209)….?

@Reina
I know my limitations. Lying is not one of my strong suits.

@ms
I was a “good” liar in high school. I excel at it now. *shrug* Its a gift.

@Chels
So you had concrete evidence and still didn’t check him? U sound like a rookie to me if Im hearing you correctly..

But I will “Scooby Doo” that azz in a heartbeat. I will play dumb in a NY minute to avoid a potentially bad situation. lol

I knew I named you Fema for a reason…

lol @ ms
I figured it wasnt b/c I dont help black people out in a flood situation.

@ blaze:

There were no red flags before that. No changes in his schedule. no late nights. No leaving the room while on the phone. None of the obviuos stuff. After how he kissed me changed, I started watching for all the signs. It took a month for him to start slipping, but by that time I’d already confronted him and he said that I was tripping. We didn’t last too long after that.

@Blaze

I did…I asked him questions, threw out names and dates, everything…but he always had a logical damn answer and he never got flustered of defensive. He didnt even get mad at the fact that I had hacked his ish…

well technically he was still signed in to his myspace acct on the computer at OUR house, so I didn’t hack it….I just snooped a lil

If you keep your game tight hopefully you wont have to entertain that type of conversation or be in position to lie. Half the time men are telling the truth and women try to make something out of nothing. They keep listening to those Beyonce songs/female anthems?

@you all

I can lie at the drop of a hat…I mean really good (I have since turned over a new leaf but if I need to the gift is still there lol), you could ask me 5 yrs later and I will know exactly what I said, on command, honey I did not play around.

@ Moe

Playing dumb works with whom? If I let a question go, please don’t believe you’ve fooled me. I WILL get my answer.

@Reina
*in my best Scooby Doo voice*

“Rut? Ri ron’t row”

Translation…”What? I don’t know.”

IMO Women in general are better cheaters…more smooth and subtle about it.

@J Thought
How does a man start kissing you differently?

@nisha
Co-sign.

@Reina
I believe you. You’re like that old lady on ‘Murder She Wrote’ lol

@ Moe

That’s insulting.

@Reina
lmao

@Chels
He ran that veteran game on you. At 19-20 yrs old you wasnt ready for that.

@blaze

but in the end he got caught in the stupidest way..i think it was on purpose…cuz it was just pitiful

@ blaze:

I can’t really explain it, but the difference was profound enough for it to catch my attention midkiss.

*wonders if fema was lying about playing the guitar in the suit*

@J Thought
“I can’t really explain it, but the difference was profound enough for it to catch my attention midkiss.”

Maybe you had bad breath?

@moe
“You’re like that old lady on ‘Murder She Wrote’”

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

@ms
*whispers* The world

@ Moe

I was referring to the Scooby Doo thing. It’s been my experiences that lies are so easily believed because the person being lied to sometimes does not want to accept it. Truth is a hard pill. It’s much safer inside a lie sometimes.

@J Thought
Thats interesting but that wouldn’t be enough to catch me in some dirt. I would flip it like your trippin….only so many ways to kiss right?

@ Moe:

Ha! You’re real funny, but no that was not the case.

@ blaze:

I said that was one of the reasons. I’m methodical by nature, so I need more than just that. But it’s a proven fact that changes in any sexual behavior often signal a partner’s infidelity. He was jsut smart enough to avoid giving away the big signs.

@J Thought
He probably stopped beaten it like a cop

@Reina
I agree. A good friend of mine got caught up in some BS being stupid. And there was so much evidence piled against him that his wife had every reason to leave. He called and asked me to help him make up a lie. My first response was “tell her the truth.” ..but he had already lied his way out of that option. I helped him come up with a believable lie, but we both knew she knew better. She just needed to hear something that was believable.

@blaze

and why does my age always have to be what my shortcomings are attributed to? Yeah I was young, but I was also in love and planning my wedding. That had more to do with it than our 9 year age difference

@ Blaze:

That came afterward. The change in kiss was the first clue, but not the only one.

@Chels
Lets be honest a guy 9 years older with more experience does make a difference. You were prolly green as hell and caught up. How many 19 yr olds are trying to get married nowadays at that age? Im just sayin….

@ Moe

So you won’t lie to your own girl but you will help a man lie to his wife? Wow.

@J Thought
I know…just messing with you at this point trying to end my day up.

@ blaze:

I’m sorry I have seen women twice Chelsea’s age make that same mistake. I don’t see what her age has to do with it.

@Blaze

it wasn’t my first time dealing with an older guy and I’m also not an idiot…had he been 21 saying the same things I still woulda fell for it cuz my heart was winning out over my mind.

@Ms miss
How many 19yrs olds you know getting married?

@Reina
He was DESPERATE…it wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever done…but it bought him enough time to save their marriage. She knew what was up because she and I talked about it the last time they were in town. We were at Six Flags of all places…and I ended up playing the role of their marriage counselor. They actually cleared the air on a lot of resentment they had towards each other, and their marriage is better now than it’s been in the past several years. I guess I missed my calling.

@Moeski

it was his own fault that he was desperate…he put his marriage at risk and he had the AUDACITY to pull you into it to LIE to help him get out of trouble? What kind of friend does something like that? What kind of husband? What kind of man? DISGUSTING!

@Chels
So how do you wish you would’ve handled it differently looking back? Will this experience help you moving forward from what you learned?

@Chelz
I can’t defend him. What he did was stupid. And he knows it.

@Moe
We’ve all helped out one of married friends before so dont even trip. No that it makes it right but you probably knew the cat way before he even met his wife.

@ blaze

I personally don’t know any people that married at 19. But people that married at 21-24, and many divorced within 2 years. I think women of all ages will ignore red flags in an effort to hold on to what their relationship USED to be and not face that ugly truth and deal with it.

dammit, i missed everything

@Blaze
We’ve been boys for 16 yrs.

@Blaze

I wish I hadn’t been so forgiving. I wish I had been a b**ch and walked away. I wish I would have left him alone after my spidey senses started tingling. I learned that ppl will go out of their way to lie to you and that the only person that cares about your heart is Y-O-U! If something feels wrong, I refuse to try and work it out. I’m leaving right then and there. No excuses, no questions. Nothing.

@Moeski
Good…but what can I say? Happens everyday..

@ Chelz

It wasn’t audacious for him to ask Moe for help. He’d lied to his wife and did something horrible enough that it endangered his marriage. Those were audacious of him. Asking Moe for help is secondary.

@ Moe

I’m not judging you. But it is disappointing.

@Ms Miss
Why do you feel they all divorced after only 2 yrs?

blaze,
so you wont be joining us tomorrow?

@Reina

you’re right…his actions were horrible. But to pull your FRIEND into your madness? And not take the sound advice of ‘tell her the truth’ but instead ask him to help you form yet ANOTHER lie to trick and deceive your WIFE? How much more low-down do you get? You grown enough to do dirt, but not man enough to own up to it and tell the truth and have integrity? Wow…you’re quite an effin catch, hu?

@Fabie
No doubt…I’ll be at Jin…9ish. Is that ok? I’ll just look for the cute Haitian girl with dimples with a Geisha dress on. Is that an accurate description?

chelz,
you saw how blaze and moe reacted tho. That didnt faze them at all. Blaze even asked how long moe n the guy were friends like thats supposed to make it ok *smh*

9:30ish, blaze. Wrong, sir no dimples here

@Fabie
I was just thinking about buying your first drink tomorrow….

@ blaze:

It all boiled down to not being ready for such a large commitment and not truly knowing what it meant to each person. My ex was one of them he married at 21 and was divorced after only a year. He was a chronic cheater and he thought marrying this girl he loved would make him stop. They had a child and later found out that she too was a chronic cheater. After he found out he started cheating more and got another woman pregnant. So she revealed to him that their daughter together wasn’t his. Went on and on and they finally divorced.

But I have also seen horrible short lived marriages with people in their 30’s too. So it really doesn’t matter much the age but if both of you are in the same place and actually want to take that step into marriage together.

And on a whole I am really tired of people using age as an excuse. I have made poor decisions. Poor and EDUCATED decisions that I am not going to blame on being young.

@Fab

if any one of my friends ever came to me with some scheme to get their man back, I think I’d snap. Tricking someone into loving you or deceiving them to get your way in matters of the heart is as low as you can go. If you have no respect for the vows you took, then get divorced and be a whore. I am so disgusted at that. He was DESPERATE? Like that makes it ok?

ugh…no words for that. But that just FURTHER lets me know that I aint too far off with my ideas about men…just further proof

@Fab
Don’t act like you’ve never covered for a friend.

@ Blaze

You cannot possibly be serious? This wasn’t some random chick. This was HIS wife. It doesn’t matter how long he & Moe were friends. Whatever the friend did was wrong. Moe didn’t have to confess his wrongdoings for him, but aiding & abetting is still a crime. And Moe admitted that it wasn’t the best thing he’d ever done.

@Moe

I wont even be an alibi for my friends. Dont tell ur man that you at my house when you really on South Beach banging a rapper…nope. Cuz if he call or come by, then that’s ur ass…I dont involve nobody in my mess and I believe I should get the same treatment. YOU lied, YOU cheated, YOU got caught up, not me. That’s YOUR man…deal with it. TELL THE TRUTH!

blaze,
Not sure ill be drink tomorrow tho. How will we recognize you at jin?

Moe
Actually, I havent. None of my friends have ever put me in that position.

@Ms Miss
I think people need to be aware of what Marriage means not only to their SO and but to themselves as well. Thats a question never asked beforehand.

@Fab/Chelz
What can I say? It happened.

@Reina
Im just being real on what goes on between close friends that have wives. I did say it wasn’t right (please read #316). Do I ever honey coat anything up in this piece?

Moe,
Truthfully, its not about you personally. It’s the whole “being boyz over choosing to do right” thing

I just dont get it…you married somebody. You invested, merged assets, lived with, bore children with THAT one person.

WHY would you want to risk that? Why get married if you’re not going to honor the committment you made? Why?

I just wish people would understand what a privilege marriage is and what it really means. People get married for the dumbest reasons and way too quickly.

@Fabie
I agree. As I get older I dont codone that type of behavior. It gets harder to trust guys that Im cool with that cheat on their wives. If you’re nor truthful to your wife, how can I trust you to be truthful towards our friendship? Frienship is a responsibility…

@moe
You handled your friend’s situation in the way you felt you needed to. I dont think anyone on here should be trying to make you feel bad for that.

@Chelz
This happened in the late 90s. The story got worse before it got better. I didn’t know how high his dumb azz level had gotten until that day at Six Flags.

@Moe
Exactly…everyone on here except for a few has admitted doing some dirt.

@and1
You’re right…and I have no regrets.

@Moeski

How could it have possible gotten worse?

**possibly**

chelz/ms
I really think ppl see marriage as just “well, imma have somebody with me always, loyal, blah blah blah”. Some men’s (and women) behavior never change. Rarely do ppl get into into marriage thinking “imma be the best i can be and do what is right for OUR marriage/family” or so it seems.

@Chelz
I won’t go into the details…but there was a lot of drama.

@Fabie

so I will stay by my muthafu**in self because that is just tragic. its TRAGIC! It’s a damn shame. Relationships are effin worthless at this point and to our respective generation. I can’t believe how sad I am at this state of affairs. Pitiful…

@Moeski

smh…whatever. He aint my friend

I agree with Fema.

And1
We were not trying to make Moe feel bad or i wasnt. Like he said, it was a long time ago and he has made peace with what he did.

Este gajo deve ser o macho o mais estupido a andar sempre a terra. Diz que qualquer coisa que acredita lhe começará o sexo. Quem acredita verdadeiramente que qualquer coisa que diz? Se alguma fêmea o acreditar, eu proibi-lo-ei deste fgc.com.

No one is trying to make Moe feel bad. He admitted it wasn’t the best thing he’d done. I agree.

Moe, if you feel I’m judging you in any way, I apologize. And I mean that sincerely.

@ reina:

something arrogant stupid something earth/ground. LOL, I don’t know a lick of spanish and I have the bad habit of trying to translate it into french and then english.

@fabie
Thats the way it comes across when you put someone on the defensive.

@Reina
My screen doesnt have a SAP button.

@Reina
I don’t feel you’re judging me.

Now Fab and Chelz definitely jumped on the soapbox..but it is what it is. lol

@Moeski

If you recall I never said YOU were wrong…I said HE was wrong for BRINGING you into it…please refer back to my previous comments.

Ppl keep gettin my ish misconstrued and I aint bout to take it anymore!

And1,
Defensive? Moe wasnt defending his actions to us. He said what he did and that was that.

Fabie I agree. Chesea, people grow over time. I am not ready for marriage at 23 years old and not worried about it. When I am in a relationship and we both feel that we may be heading in that direction in our lives then we will discuss it then. Until then I’m not concerned about it.

fêmea = fema?

@Chelz
“He was DESPERATE? Like that makes it ok?”

@Miss

My opinion is this…it just isnt worth it. No one takes ish seriously, no one wants to stop ho-ing and committ, no one truly knows what the hell they want, and all this other ish is just a waste of time. Love is fine and dandy, but this generation (including myself) has no idea what it really means to love, honor and cherish anybody. That story was the nail in my love-life coffin. I can’t allow that to happen to me. Call me what you want but that shit is super foul.

@fab
When you say “you saw how blaze and moe reacted tho. That didnt faze them at all. Blaze even asked how long moe n the guy were friends like thats supposed to make it ok *smh*”

What are you doing? When I’m shaking my head, its usually b/c I’ve made a judgment. Is there another reason?

@ Just

LOL One sentence is a start.

@ Ms.

I’m pretty sure there is no translation for fema in any language.

@Moeski

Like that makes it ok to pull an innocent friend in to cover his tracks

@Chelz
Okay..I gotcha.

And1,
If you look further, i discussed the whole boyz over doing right thing.

@Reina
I’ve pulled up 3 different translators…and not one can decipher the whole paragraph. Just bits and pieces. lol

@Fab
I’m waiting for a response to and1′s question too.

@ reina:

I’m trying. I would ask some of my friends, but they all have different accents, so it’s hard to understand them when they’re all trying to teach me.

@ everyone:

can we can a moratorium (sp?) on dumping on Moe. he said that the wife knew that he was lying, but decided to stay anyway. I may not agree with anyone’s actions in the situation, but it was a long time ago and they have since worked it out. I’m willing to give Moe a pass since they guy changed (eventually) and they are both recommitted to living their marriage the way that it’s supposed to be.

bwahahahaha @ Reina’s message

Ok fabie fab. If you say so. *rolls eyes*

Thanks J Thought

Thanks, And1
Moe,
“fabielicious

Moe,
Truthfully, its not about you personally. It’s the whole “being boyz over choosing to do right” thing”
Does that answer ur question, your honor?

@ Moe

LOL I don’t think you’re going to find any translator that will decipher that. You’ll need a person.

@J Thought

Please…I’ll rant for another 30 mins on dumb women who see signs and choose not to leave (myself included)…if she knew and she didn’t leave then it’s her own fault…but HE KNEW that she was suspcious and instead of addressing it (he had an out and a perfect opportunity to be upfront) he chose to lie…again.

So…yeah

Moe,
Maybe ill tell u tomorrow…maybe

@Reina
In that case…I’m short. As long as you’re not insulting any of MY family members…you get a pass on this one. LOL

@chelz
There arent any ledges by where you are, are there? I’m starting to be concerned.

@Fab
If it’s bad…I don’t even wanna know. lol

@and1

why would you ask that?

@ Chelz:

I mean, this situation is trifling, but I’m more forgiving of married women who choose to stay because they are married. If anyone should stay and try to work it out (under some circumstances) then it’s people who’ve taken vows.

Never mind, cheese. Just a joke.

@and1

uh…ok

@ Moe

No family members were insulted.

Chelsea when you are married you are playing a totally different game. When you are married you can’t just up and leave. You work things out.

@Miss

I agree…you work out money issues, unemployment, child-rearing, health issues, gambling, (some) addictions, in-laws, sex issues…but do you really stay with someone who blatantly disrespects you and the vows you’ve taken…someone who intentionally deceives you and allow others to KNOW they are deceiving you and participate in it?

smh @ And1
hehe

Chelsea if both parties have discussed it and want to work things out then good for them. That is what you are supposed to do. That is what those vows mean. If the two of them decide they don’t need to be together then good for them. Point is that you don’t just up and leave because he called you a bitch, slammed a door, or threw dinner in the trash.

People that don’t try to work it out first shouldn’t have been married in the first place and don’t understand their vows.

This has taken me awhile in my relationship to keep this thought up. I forgot about our love once and never again will I.

Nice songs but love still sucks….the end.

Hey y’all Sorry, but I’m not about to read up on the convos happening today when we’re at almost 400!

But I’m with some of you — boo to love. It’s non-existant in my life, and Although I’d like to think optimistically that “someday my prince will come” reality tells me to give up looking, just do me and whatever happens, happens. Stop thinking about each guy I meet if he has the potential to be “the one” and just accept every relationship at face value. They’re all mediocre at best, which is why I think so pessimistically. Oh well. Can’t dwell on it, or I get depressed. Moving on!!!