4 Tips When Asking A Guy Out On A Date
Nov 21st, 2008 | Author: The Fly Guy | Category: The Chronicles
Comments (851)
So here’s the scenario. There is this guy that you’ve had your eye on for quite some time. You think he’s interested in you, but he’s yet to make any serious move. So what should you do?
Here’s my advice: take matters into your own hands. Now more than ever, women are beginning to take some serious initiative when it comes to their dating lives. When you think about it, there’s actually nothing wrong with actively pursuing Mr. Right; you just have to know the right way to do it. That’s why I’ve decided to share with you 4 Tips When Asking A Guy Out On A Date.
1. Speak your mind.
Men aren’t mind readers. And to be quite honest with you, we can be quite oblivious to the subtle hints that women like to consistently drop. So instead of assuming that he knows what you’re getting at when you tell him that he looks nice wearing earth tones, you should just come out and say that you’re interested. It will save a lot of frustration on your part…especially when he replies, “Thank you. So what’s an earth tone?”
2. Go in through the backdoor.
If you’re not brave enough to go with the all-out frontal assault, there’s another way to make your interest known. You should get a friend to casually bring it up to him by saying something like, “Hey, my friend thinks you’re kind of cute.”
I know what you’re probably thinking. “Fly Guy, that’s sounds kind of childish.” And you may be right. But ask yourself this. Do you still get excited when you flip past an old episode of The Smurfs, The Gummy Bears, The Snorkels or any other childhood cartoon that you used to love? I thought so. You see, no matter how old we get, we all still secretly hold on to some of those childhood indulgences that made love fun and innocent. So give it a shot and see where it goes.
3. Present a solid plan.
What most women fail to realize is that the same things that work on you, will more often than not work on us as well. So instead of proposing some hypothetical get together without any real details, come to the table with a solid plan. Try something like this:
“Hey, what are you doing this Friday night at 8pm? I have two tickets to the New Kids On the Block Reunion Concert, and I’d love for you to come with me.”
Easy enough right? (Okay, maybe not the concert part, but you see where I’m going with this one.) Having a well thought out plan makes it that much easier for us to say yes.
4. Don’t overdo it.
The final tip that I’ll leave with you is to avoid coming on too strong. While we appreciate a woman able to speak her mind and express her interest, there are still limits to the amount of aggressiveness that we prefer. (It’s not really fair how society has defined our roles is it?)
As men, we are encouraged to be bold and borderline arrogant when pursuing you. But as a woman, you’re not given that same freedom. In fact, when it comes to dating, women have a far tougher job than even Michael Jackson’s personal trainer…
“Listen Mike, I know you feel kind of weak, but can you at least do one push up for me?………Not even one? Well can you at least say push up, so you can get a mental work out? No…okay, we’ll try again tomorrow.”
My Michael Jackson joke aside, here’s a solution that helps establish a happy medium. Smile and use gentle tones while asking him out. This allows you to be aggressive, while still maintaining your non-threatening posture.
The Fly Question of the Day:
In your opinion, is there’s anything wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date? What are your experiences with today’s topic?
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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hmmm…I dont believe there’s anything wrong with asking a guy out on a date or what have you…just not my cup of tea. They say men are terrified of rejection, so although they may be interested, they may fear you dont feel the same. If that’s the case, I guess the only way to fix things is to take matters into your own hands. Following the above advice would probably lead you to being successful in this area.
I dont do it tho…not my thing
@Chelsea,
I’m not swimming in women..lol. I’ve just been traveling like crazy, so it’s been hard to sit still for a minute.
But I’m up early (it’s not yet 7 in Vegas) so I could have something new up.
I hope everything has been good with you lately :-)
@FG
I always know how to get you working…just insult ya a lil bit and I get results! lol…things have been great around my way. Thanks for asking…
I don’t have to even inquire about how ur life is proceeding…you in Vegas? ‘Nuff said…:)
yeah, you always like to give me a hard time I see…lol
I don’t see a problem with it, especially if I’m attracted to her. I’ve had women ask me out before, but it’s not an everyday thing. What normally happens is they’ll offer their phone number without me having to ask for it…or they’ll suggest we exchange numbers. They also drop “subtle” hints…like a sexy smile with a lingering look. Sometimes the smile is ‘over the top’. Sometimes…for fun…I’ll give them the same look they give me. At least 90% of the time, they start rubbing their hair after that. lol
@FG
Indeed I do…I wouldnt be me if I didnt!
@Moeski-nator
Fumbling with the hair? Dead giveaway…and pushing the ‘girls’ out? Another giveaway…
@T-Moe,
LOL, that’s pretty funny. You been good bruh?
Morning FG, Chelz, Moe
Umm, yeah I admire women who can do it but I have a PARALYZING fear of rejection. Not minimal–paralyzing. I don’t forsee this being something I would do in the future.
@FG
I’m good bruh..no complaints. How’s life in the fast lane?
@Chelz
Rubbing their hair is always a telltale sign. Ya’ll can’t help it…most women don’t even realize they do it.
@Blue
Good Morning
What’s up esheblue,
Imagine how many men feel the exact same way that you do. It all reminds me of those sitcoms back in the day when they would have the school dance, with the boys on one side of the room with the girls on the other.
@T-Moe,
Not exactly the fast lane, but tiring. In Vegas right now for this Comedy Festival. Ellen performed last night, and I knew she was funny, but not that funny.
FG,
Yes, I completely understand that guys feel the same on the other side but that doesn’t really compel me to do better. Still paralyzing…lol
Morning all!
FG is swimming IN women? well, well LOL
On topic: I’m not sure about asking a guy out. Usually they’re the ones who drop hints and then ask. But i know ive joked about them being cute by saying something like “you think you’re cute huh? Have all the women running after you”
I think now, i’d be able to ask a buy if he wants to go out to get something to eat or go somewhere with me…i think
@FG
I make it a point to limit my trips to Vegas. I end up blowing way too much money. I don’t know which is worse…the casinos or the strip clubs. lol Either way…I walk away feeling like a dumb azz.
lol @ Esheblue,
hey, it’s not for everyone
Morning Fab
I have yet to ask a guy out and probably never will. I couldn’t care less about rejection; it’s the shifting of power. If I ask him out, he’s doing me a favor, and that’s just not the correct position for me to begin a dating enterprise. My nerves are high-strung throughout the night wondering if he’s enjoying himself. Do I drive? Do I pay? Do I walk him to the door? Too foreign for me.
What’s up Reina
@T-Moe,
I feel you. I don’t really gamble out here. I hit up the crap tables ever so often, but I just kind of stay away from the casinos. I felt myself getting caught up one time, and lost a lot of money, so from that point on, I’ve been cool on that.
As far as strip clubs, I’d advise you to save that money for the Atlanta ones. Nothing beats them.
@ blue:
I have the same paralyzing fear.
@ FG:
I don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman asking a man out. I haven’t had too much success with it, but I can’t knock someone else who is willing to be that courageous.
@Reina
I agree
@Moeski
I know…we do it cuz we’re tryna make ourselves look better for our potential mate (in the most basic of human nature)
Hey Moe! How you doing?
I dont like losing money so i stay away fr casinos. It’s great when im winning but i get kinda mad once i lose.
@fg
You never answered my question from like 2 days ago? lmao but you busy so I will let you slide lol.
Hey all!!!
I usually wouldn’t ask a guy out but you never know maybe one day I will be compelled to do so.
Let me ask the ladies this question. I had a friend ask this woman this qeustion when she was unhappy about the quality of men that always approached her but never made the move to go after the type she really wanted.
Do you choose your men or do the men choose you?
@ Moe & FG:
Thought y’all were more evolved than to frequent strip clubs.
@Reina:
I think a woman asking a man out negatively changes the power dynamic in a relationship. I think guys like it because they don’t have to do the work up front, but after that they just turn on cruise control and they never take the woman seriously.
@FG
I’ll play roulette, but’s that about it. I have a friend with serious gambling problem…just started going to GA…so that keeps me in check.
I never made it to Magic City, but someone took me to an off brand spot when I was there for work. The quality was okay, but you couldn’t beat the price! $5 for everything. LOL I went to one in Ft. Lauderdale once…they might give the ATL a run for their money.
@ blaze:
I’ve done both. The quality of men that approaches me is downright depressing, and I’ve had MAJOR catastrophe approaching men (hence the paralyzing fear of rejection). The only time my approaching men hasn’t been a total nightmare, the guy was taken, which ended the conversation on the spot.
@Fab
I’m good.
@JAT
Sometimes men just want to look at a naked beautiful woman without having to put in a lot of extra work.
hold up! $5 for the women, Moeski??
@Moe
FT. LAUDERDALE???? What were you doin round my way lookin at booties bouncing?
And yes….our strippers DO rival the ATL ladies…(dont forget I frequent strip clubs ppl)
I got my eye on you Moe…you got a lil too much experience in my region for me….
@Fab
Yep. I’ve seen that in AZ too…and I heard there was a spot in MD.
@Just A Thought,
I don’t go as much as I used to, but when I do, it’s for the food. They have good Chicken fingers.
@Nishadiva,
I’m sorry. What was the question? My mind is bad right now.
@Chelz
Cheetah’s…I was like….damn.
@ FG:
Whatever. I didn’t go to events w/ male strippers for the food. I went to see young studs get nearly naked. (the dancing part, however, is a complete turnoff.)
@ Moe:
If you say so.
@ Fabie, Chelz, the EC:
Morning ladies :-)
@JAT
I do. I don’t frequent them though. The ROI ain’t worth it.
@Moe
CHEETAH’S? (i never been there but I heard about it)…that good huh?
wow…you need to hit up Mirage which is my FAVE club here in West Palm Beach…those chicks make me hate myself everytime I walk in there…smh.
Wow…lemme know next time you come in town…we could have a LOT of fun….hehehe.
Oh Lord, tryna party with a guy that is old enough to be my DAD…what kind of woman have I become?
Hi Just, How are you this morning?
@ FG
for the chicken fingers, sir? riiiiiight! lol
@ Moe
So you just pay the women $5 and they dance/strip for u? How is that different from any other strip club?
@JAT,
I’m actually halfway serious. We did used to go to the Body Tap for their shrimp.
As far as strip clubs go now, I rarely go unless its someone’s bday, or something like that. I can’t rationalize that kind of monetary investment anymore.
@Fab
Just the price. That’s about as cheap as it gets. Most places charge $20/dance. Other than that…it’s all the same.
@Chelz
My daughter told me recently that when she turns 21, we can go to South Beach together. I told her she was outta her mind! She thought it was hilarious.
Moe,
I see. Had to ask the expert lol
@Fab
I used to have a job where I traveled all over the country. I had to sample the local fare. lol
@Moe
dont trip…the first I actually SAW strippers (both male and female) I was WITH my dad (once at a superbowl party and the other time at a birthday party)…
He didn’t even blink an eye…he just left when the male strippers came in and returned when they vanshed.
@ FG:
It’s all good. I’d appreciate when a man is upfront.
@ fabie:
I’m good. Gotta get my cardio on after work. I’m starting a new workout regimen.
@Chelz
My daughter and I are close…but we ain’t that close! Some experiences are not to be shared with your children. LOL
lmao@sampling the local fare
@Fab
dances are usually like $20-30 bucks for average clubs (more for the high class clubs all the rappers/athletes etc go to on S. Beach) and the girl dances on you for 3 songs…sometimes they have ’specials’ where they lower the price…and some places are a flat cheap rate so the girls can get MORE dances and thus make more money
@Moe
lol…I was in high school at the time, but my dad is like that. We’ve been hanging out together in bars and stuff since I can remember. And my dad is in his 60’s! so….yeah. Maybe that has something to do with it
@Moeski
he also taught me how to drink which is partly why I’m the lush that I am to date. I’m the last of his 14 children, so maybe he just wanted me to hurry up and catch up with all my siblings…
Lol…dont follow his example, please!
@Chelz
Don’t worry…I won’t. LOL
@ Just
Does that involve going to the gym only? I did get those workout DVDs that i have to start using :(
@ chelz
they have “specials” too? oh wow *dead*
@Fab
yup…’specials’
“Aight fellas….grab one of these lovely ladies cuz we got a dance special going on right now! You get a three song dance for just $10! That’s right fellas…these fine ladies will p*ssy pop all over you for just $10…gon head and pick the one you like, my ni**as! let the booty clapping begin!”
**falls out of my chair in hysteris**
Why are we talking about strip clubs? Is that where we take the guy once we ask him out?
@Reina
Blame me and FG for that one.
@ Fabie:
I’m make myself go to the gym because it’s harder to BS myself when I’m there. And, since the semester is almost over, most of the machines are empty. I like the tapes too, but I don’t do those too much.
@ Reina:
Yes. We should take ment to the strip club. I’d buy a dance for a guy if I got to pick out the girl.
Hey Ladies,
I want to share an experience with you. A few years ago I was at this breakfast spot with a girlfriend when I noticed this nice looking dude. He was at a table with a group of folks – women and men. I could not stop looking at him. I sat there and ate my food and talked to my gilfriend but this brotha was on mind the entire time. When we got up to leave I noticed the waitress was getting ready to go over the his table and give them their check. I pulled her aside, shoved a few dollars in her hand along with my business card and instructions to tell my special interest to turn around and look at me. She did what I asked and when he looked back I motioned for him to call me. That whole table EXPlODED. It was a power move. Needless to say it blew his mind, we are still friends to this day and he still talks about that moment. Try it ladies.
@La La
Do you have a problem with approaching men first?
@ Lala:
I dunno. I haven’t had the same experience, so I’m a little hesitant to do that.
Plus, my cheapo employer doesn’t provide business cards. @sswipes.
dead @ chelz LOL
@ Just
That sounds right about going to the gym. For me, starting is the hardest thing. But i do know once i get into it and see results, ill keep doing it
@ Reina
not sure thats a good idea lol
@Just a Thought
Listen, you dont’ need a business card to talk to a man. You need confidence. That moment confirmed for me that I had what it takes to go after what I want, not the dude that picks me but the ONE THAT I WANT. You can do it.
@fg
When you were in your LDR what types of things did your SO do? I can’t remember the 2nd question, I’ll look it up.
@Blaze
Nope, no problem here. If I am interested and there timing is right I will step up. I have had great results. Nobody likes rejection but that’s life. Take the good with the bad.
@everyone
Me and my girlfriend are having this discussion via email. she asked How much should one change in order to make the relationship work?
@Lala
that was an awesome story and I applaud you for your strength, but I just know the guy I tried that on would be all ‘dang…you MUST be desperate’…not a good look. I’ll just admire from afar. Its been my experience that guys go after what they want…regardless of consequences or fears. If he likes me, he’ll do it. If he just thinks I’m ‘ok’ he won’t. Thats all the answer I need, IMO
@ Lala:
It’s not so much the approaching him that is the problem. It’s what happens afterwards. Sure I can get a man to notice me, give me his number, take me out, etc. But when I’ve approached a man, those situations have always been me ALWAYS being the one to lead. That I do not like. I’m a progressive person, but this is one area that experience has taught me to be more traditional.
‘Why are we talking about strip clubs? Is that where we take the guy once we ask him out?’
lol..Reina, you are hilarious!
@Nisha
NONE! If you like each other, then like each other. Good, bad, ugly or otherwise.
The End
@Nisha
If it’s a bad habit, then there’s nothing wrong with making an effort to break that habit. But if it’s a built in part of who you are as a person, then I don’t know if it’s possible to make a permanent change.
@Chelz
I hear you and believe me I did some real hard thinking before I jumped out there. The last thing I wanted was to appear desperate. I took a chance though and it worked out. He loved it! I don’t think we should always put that burden on the man to step up. I can’t tell you how many times a guy has said to me ” I really wanted to talk to you but…”
@La La
It appears that you have a lot of confidence in yourself based on your responses. Thats a sext attribute to have. Personally If a woman approached me, I would never look at as if she’s desperate. I look at as a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. A grown man would be flattered rather the feeling was mutual or not he would show the proper respect.
@chelz
Lmao! Girl bye!! I love it..
lol @ THE END!
@Just
I understand. Everything is not for everybody. I’m old school too but this was one area where I stepped off the beaten path. I do think that there is a way to be aggressive at first meet and then fall back and let the guy take the lead. It has to be done with care though – LOL! I’m still working on that.
@ Moe:
What if what you define as part of your personality the other person thinks is just a bad habit?
@ nisha
Hey BFF! I dont believe that people change so not sure how to answer that question. One should be able to change their actions/behaviors if they’re causing issues in the relationship but at the same time the person has to believe that he/she really has to change. If not, its a waste of time.
@ blaze:
How many grown men and women do you know? I know a lot of old adolescents (heck, I was one myself for a minute)…
Great tips FG. I fear rejection but it isn’t so much that I fear the ‘thanks, but not thanks’ response it’s that laughing in my face acting like an asshole response that i’m fearful of. I’ve seen some of who I thought were the nicest guys do that crushing a poor girl’s heart.
So, I suppose if I ever cross paths with a guy and I have the feeling that he is feeling me then I MIGHT try this.
@JAT
Then you have a compatibility issue.
Whats up fly people!
I agree with Blaze. A grown man wont consider a woman desperate b/c she approached him. He’d be flattered.
@J Thought
I only surround myself around grown people who have a purpose. They say its all about the crowd you keep around you right?
What’s up and1?
@Fab
i dont believe ppl change either…I personally haven’t seen any change in myself since I started to be fully aware of myself. My habits, my feelings…all that is the same.
My OUTLOOK has changed and shifted over the years, but not my personality or my beliefs. You see what you PERCEIVE as change in others, but nothing about them has been altered.
Whats happening moe
@fab
Hey bff! LMao how are you? we still have to catch up. I agree with you though.
@everyone
I mean I guess it never hurts to try and ask a guy out)
@Nisha
you like that huh? lol…I do what I can!
I suppose. I know that I tend to view people pessimistically, so it takes a lot for me to expect the best out of someone.
Hey Lala!
Dont know if i could do what you did but I applaud you. Id be thinking about all the “what ifs” and let the moment get away from me.
Nisha it can hurt pride and ego.
Whats up Ms Miss? Everything good?
@Miss
‘it can hurt pride and ego.’
i agree!
Morn blaze! Errthang is good! How are you?
Hi And1! How are you?
@Blaze
you relate everything a woman does to how much confidence she has in herself. so that means that if a woman doesnt ask a man out then she’s got self-esteem issues?
@Chelz
No
@Ms Miss
Im good, ready for this weekend to get started.
yea…u might not belive this but i’m hella shy. Me approaching a dude is like Paris Hilton getting a perfect on the SAT’s..ain’t gone happen!
No matter how cute a guy is I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’ll just continue giving my subtle hints and if he’s that stupid to not pick up on em then maybe it’s a good thing, lol…
@ Miss
but that’s life, you win some, you lose some. I mean I can be prideful at times but you want something you go get it right? That’s like you go out for a job and you interview for it and you get the “sorry we’ve already filled the postion,” (or insert yout own saying) that hurts because you really wanted that job. You win some you lose some. Be afraid of NOT trying. You never know what will happen.
@Nisha
Well said…I totally agree with you.
I have yet to ask a guy out but you never know, one day I may decide…”today is the day ” lmao! I slay myself. lol
*laughs at self*
@fab
what are you doing this wknd>
@blaze
thank you, like I said I have yet to do it but I’m not opposed to it and trust me I can be very prideful at times.
I approached a guy ONCE and was left with a stupid look on my face.
When I was 17 I worked at this little call center and there was this guy that worked there named Tommy. Tommy was so cute. He started talking to me in the breakroom about what CD I was listening too and so we always started talking on breaks. Eventually he started sitting next to me and was asking my friends about me. My friend told me that she can tell that he really likes me.
I ended up leaving the job on a day he was gone. So I left him my number at the front desk. He called me, I told him I was feeling him and stuff. Never heard from him again.
@Nisha
I understand what you’re saying. ut on that same note, will you ask a man to marry you? Move in with you? Would you buy him a ring?
In general, are you willing to take charge completely in a relationship where the man is traditionally supposed to do so?
Nisha very true but after that first time being rejected I take it ultra personal.
@Nisha
You just never know.. I had a lady ask me dance one night and we spent the next 10 days straight together and it led to a 2 year relationship. All she did was pinch my elbow and asked to dance..
To this day we’re still good friends.
@Blaze
but she’s just not as confident and thus as sexy as a woman who would ask you out?
@miss/chelz
DOes that stop you fronm going to find another job? NO…you do the aaliyah “dust yourself and try again,” or you can say “eff that!”
@chelz
We are just talking about a date…can we go on the date first? lol But for me no I would not ask a man to marry me, I finally committed to one phone number, I dont think I am ready for marriage yet lol. WOuld I go buy him a ring? Nah.
@miss
I can understand that the bruising the ego but how many guys have we all dodged? lol
@Chelsea
She is just as sexy and as confident.
@Nisha
I’ve never been turned down for a job, so I wouldnt know…but hold on a second. Haven’t we been told (specifically Reina) to leave the corporate ladder climber/agressive woman behavior at work and become Miss Nice Lady in our quest for relationships? Lets not back track here…its been clearly stated that you can’t treat the delciate balance of ‘dating’ (yuck!) like you do your career…
@Blaze
yeah right Casanova
@Ladies
I have a question. If you’re the type that plans everything in advance (ex. it’s Tues. and you’re already planning out the weekend), and your SO is the spontaneous type who doesn’t think about the weekend until it gets here…how would you feel about this? I hear a lot of women complain about always having to come up with activities for them to share with their SO, but if they don’t allow him to be spontaneous/himself, then how can they complain?
I think my biggest issue is that I’m introverted and shy, but a good conversationalist and a good flirt. So, the problem lies in the fact that men like my “party face,” but think I pulled a fast one on them when they find out I’m much more shy and reserved than they originally thought.
Great question Moe. I have that issue
**Correction**
We can be agressive….in the bedroom (or kitchen if that’s the kinda ish you into)…otherwise it is our job to make our men feel like men…
That was my retraction.
@ Moe:
I’m in that situation now with the guy I’m dating. My issue is moreso with the fact that he doesn’t have anything in mind while being spontaneous. Part of the problem is he’s young. The other part is I’m the planner/organizer/responsible Type A (which it is my life’s goal NOT to be), so people always expect me to have something up my sleeve. You should see his & my friends’ heads explode when I don’t suggest anything to do on the fly. It’s like ‘what? you don’t know of anything going on? You always have something…” as they melt on the pavement.
@chelz
OK have you ever been turned down for anything in life? Whether it was the lead role in a school play or (insert your own thing here). We have all experienced rejection at some point. In what rulebook does it say you have to be miss nice lady? You should just treat someone how you want to be treated in relationships and hope its reciprocated. I just know for me I am not opposed to it. I have yet to do it but it’s not a shut and sealed case for nish.
nisha,
lady, i dont have much planned this weekend. Meeting with one of my friends for dinner tonite, hanging out with my mom tomorrow morn and thats about it. What about you?
@ chelz
U think because the woman asked the guy out 1st, she’d have to take charge if a relationship does happen? I dont think so at all. She took the first step but that doesnt mean that she’ll have to aumatically initiate any other change that happens IMO
I can actually kinda see myself asking a guy to marry me…kinda sorta lol
@Nisha
I like your confidence and open-mindeness to making an effort. Life is too short.
Nisha: Cannot compare this to a job! I have to work. I don’t have to date, I choose to.
Moe: I am very spontaneous. I may be like “Let’s get together on saturday for a movie” but then planning where we will have lunch, window shop, and play video games isn’t my idea of a fun weekend.
@Nisha
like I said, I get it. But lets not pretend like we can treat dating and the correlation between men and women like we treat everything else in life. If that were the case, then you, a successful career woman, would have no problem approaching a man the same way you approach a job right? But you don’t…why? Cuz you know that its not the same.
And I was just referring to a convo we have had on this site specifically. I think Reina was getting a little heat for being too ‘corporate’ at home and everyone agreed that you have to take that hat off as a woman when you’re dealing with your SO.
@JAT
I’ve heard this complaint before, but I didn’t have a problem coming up with something to do, I just wasn’t given the opportunity. When the weekend comes around, I go with what I feel. Whether it’s going out to a club…taking a trip out of town…taking a walk on the waterfront in Georgetown…or just staying home and chilling.
@JAT
Ppl would not believe it but I am very shy, then when I more comfortable (I guess) I let my hair down lol.
@Fab
i was just asking Nisha if she would be comfortable taking the reins in all aspects of a relationship that men traditionally deal with. I didnt say she would necessarily have to. I was just asking if she would be open to doing so. It was just a question
@Miss
I’m cool with that, but some people will plan your entire weekend…every weekend…if you allow them to. But then to get upset because they’re always doing the planning is kinda absurd. Sit back and let things happen sometimes.
I agree completely. I was dating a guy like that once and it drove me crazy. Just let things happen. I know we didn’t plan on walking on this side of the street but will you just bring your ass already?
lmao@Miss
LOL
@ Nisha:
A lot of people don’t believe I’m shy either. It takes a lot for me to let my hair down.
Gotcha, chelz
@chelz
I would, I just have not found a guy who I want to do that to yet, I usually get approached. I’m saying when I DO see a guy and I’m like oh my there is something about him, I am going to do it, my sasha fierce will come out (that was a joke lol). I dont want to have the should woulda coulda syndrome
@Fab
ok good
@Nisha
lol@sasha fierce…so you’ve never encountered a guy you were itching to approach up until this day?
HI everyone!
Interesting post. I would make the first move (depending on how I’m feeling that day) but out of curiousity what can one say to a guy you see on the train on your way to work?
@Luving
Just say hi and smile. The conversation will create itself.
@Nisha
I understand your analogy between going after what you want out of your career and approachinh a man. Its all about being proactive not reactive…you create the life you want to live..
@Moe
I agree with you. I like to be spontaneous as well and play it by ear. I try not to plan too far ahead unless its a concert or a game where you have to buy tix but everything else you can play it by the mood your in that day.
lol @ ms
The only time I plan on something is when i want to go to a certain restaurant or see a movie but other than that, just do whatever. If it doesnt happen, I dont pout or anything like that
@ all
we have a lot of shy flowers here on FG including moi lol
@Fab
Hanging with the best friend, ummm I dont know what else yet. Going to the dominicans so they can blow my hair out (girl I told you I am not getting no more perms for a hot minute its been 2 mths).
@blaze
Thank you…like I said I have nto done it yet but I am not like nah no way.
@miss
But there are a lot of things we choose to do even though we dont have to. You just never know.
@moe
“Just say hi and smile. The conversation will create itself.”
lol..WHAT? If it WERE only that simple.
Hey fabie fab!
@Fab
As opinionated as everyone is…shy would be the furthest thing from my mind. lol
@and1
That ish don’t work for us…that was for Luving. LOL
@And1
lol…exactly. Our lyrics have to be pre-written with the right melody..
Moe
eh, I usually need a little more help than that. For some reason if I’m not in a dancing setting (club/lounge) where we can just dance together and they start asking me questions, all of my conversations end flat..real quick. An example..the building I live is filled with students from Howard and young professionals, and just saying hi to one guy in particular while waiting for the elevator on several occasions, I get no further then hi, how are you, fine routine. And its not like I have a crush on him and get shy, I just don’t know the guy and have no idea what the heck to say. Let’s just say I’m not good at it.
@chelz
love the name lol. Not one I was like “I gotta have him lol” I might said oh he;s cute but nahh
@blaze
yeaaaaah!
@ tmoe/and
Hi and smile doesnt work for me either LOL
@Luving
Can I offer a few suggestions that may help?
@ blaze
shoot, i’m open to almost anything.
@Luving
The elevator is one of the worse places to try it if you’re not good at it. You only have a few seconds to get anything going.
@Miss
I agree with you completely. I see we are in the STRONG minority, but I think you have the same mindset as me. Dating and career are two different things. If women could be agressive and chase men the same way we do at our jobs, then we wouldn’t hesitate. But the guys here have already proven that that is not the case.
But if ppl are gonna sit here and honestly believe you can treat a date like you treat a job then who am I to argue? You and I dont date anyway, so I guess we have different ideas….
@Luving
You said the train at first. lol
@ Moe:
It’s easy to be more daring online.
@ blaze:
nah, your lyrics do not have to be prewritten. But a lot of dudes fail to realize that saying high gets you a long way. Sometimes, and I’ve been guilty of this, I am NOT in a good mood and I don’t want to be bothered, hence the cold shoulder given to the unlucky fellow. And guaranteed if you make a sexual joke about anything I’m eating, I will not be amused. But dudes just jump on out there with some tired BS instead of being real.
would you be more upset if you found out that your mate was having sex with someone else? or if they were spending time with and getting to know someone else on the level that they know you??
@ moe
thats the only place I see him, with the exception of the one time he came into the buildings gym downstairs. Though I didnt want to talk to him there cause he grossed me out when he spit in the water fountain.
LOL @ Luving
@Nisha
thanks, but it’s super long…a girl at work just called me that…thought it had a nice ring to it
well that train is for the other guys I see lol
@chelz
Miss chelsea is good money too.
JAT I think that is why online dating appealed to me so much. Being a shy person and definitely too shy to talk to a guy face to face I was able to be a bit more aggressive online. But I’m not doing that shit again, lol.
I don’t know if it is the holidays rolling up (probably) but I’m really feeling ready to get back out there and at least hang out with a guy. Maybe I will approach one. My problem is WHERE to meet a guy.
@nisha
preciate the approval!
Hi everyone!
I’m late, but La La story was so on point!
I’d try approaching a guy, but I’m more traditional. I still believe the the male should court the woman. BUT if his Swag on his a hundred thousand trillion. I’ll Holla! LOL
Oh, and if I were single.
alright, there can’t be TWO miss’ on the site now….
@ miss
bookstore, mall, lounge..thats all i can think of for now lol. Theres not that many places
@and1
I think it’s time to mobilize the CHART…Miss is primed for the picking! lmao
Fabie I explained about Gary Coleman via YIM.
@Miss
you selling out on me and entering the dating game again huh?
Fine…I’ll hold down the ‘dinner for 1′ club all alone, traitor!
lol…naw…thats good for you tho! spend the holidays with someone and bring in the new year with a bang (pun intended!)
@ chelz
LOL y the name change? hehe
@ nisha
i understand. I’m also on a stretch from relaxers but its going well so far. I went to a dominican salon when i went to connecticut about a month ago and i swear that lady burned my scalp!! She kept blowing the same spot 2-3 times. I think a tear run down my face…just 1 lol
@janean
Hey boo! lmao I agree!
Moe shutup. I just want to spend time with someone that doesn’t still play with blocks is all.
@Luving
What works for me and maybe not for others is to ask open-ended questions. With you being in DC a good number of people move here from other areas. Outside a breif introduction, I like to ask where a person is from, what part, where do/did they go to school, etc. People, male or female, love to talk about where they’re originally from. How long you’ve been in DC? U like it? Can you tell me some good social spots to meet somneone on your level? May sound courny but that simple approach works in this area.
I am talking about going to a movie, having lunch, I guess I just want a friendship.
@Miss
LOL…There’s nothing wrong with that. The holidays will take you there sometimes.
@Miss
there…is that better?
@Fab
I get bored quickly.
@fab
girl yes they will heat up a scalp lol.
thanks blaze..worth a try :-)
Yes Troublemaker much better. I own the ‘Miss’ territory. Lol.
and Fema you will be happy to know that my dream was Gary Coleman free.
@ jane
“BUT if his Swag on his a hundred thousand trillion. I’ll Holla! LOL”
I hear that! lol
@ nisha
When i was dating X1, i was upset at him sleeping with girl, yes but what i couldnt forgive is him spending time with her, probably doing “couple things”…that’s just not right.
@Luving
Also hang out with your male platonic friends, for some reason it will attract men to you. For some reason men like what they think they cant have.
fabie i wish i could find a dominican salon in my area…
I stepped away for what seemed like a minute and the conversation exploded. lol
@Moe
I am not a planner, well I kind of am–it depends. I def. am not a full weekend/exact time planner but I do like to have an idea. So I think if the spontaneous guy just told me a day and we mutual agreed that we were hanging out the details wouldn’t be important.
@Miss
glad you approve **wipes brow**
@miss
I found 3! I have been happy ever since.
@ nisha
heat up? that lady cooked my scalp! well, not really but you know what i’m saying lol
@ Ms
You explained the gary coleman thing n i missed it? *sad face*
They just opened one in my area. Wanna try it but ill wait. Will send my sis as an experiment lol
@Fab
really? the emotional part hurt worse than the physical? interesting…
I pose a challenge to the ladies for the weekend….
@fab
lmao. I know I am going to give mami the look of death tomorrow lol.
nisha boooo! i checked on roundbrushhair.com and there are NONE in this state. Nada.
@fab
for me both hurt but you right (emotional)the physical wont really keep a man coming back, once you link up with someone and there is that emotional thing there its hard to let it go.
fabie it says you’re online! I sent it this morning.
blaze what challenge?
have you ever had anyone else besides your family in your life that you need?
We are now talking “I love you vs. I need you”
IS IT POSSIBLE TO SAY YOU LOVE/ARE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE IF YOU DONT NEED THEM???
Hmm I have yet to answer her…
I want to see each of the ladies to find a way to go out and meet a new man/friend…on any level..Just one..
And I’ll approach a woman at the grocery store tomorrow…lol
Now this is my question to her…(sorry we are random like this and I wanted to share)
IS IT OK TO KEEP AN EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND AS A FRIEND?? IF SO, SHOULD IT BE RIGHT AFTER THE BREAK UP? OR SHOULD THERE BE TIME IN BETWEEN? IF NOT, WHY NOT??? IS IT EASIER FOR A MALE TO KEEP AN EX AS A FRIEND? OR A FEMALE?
@fab
I have to hit you up. :)
@ Ms.
ohhh, its on at home. I have to log into my email to get it fr work and never remember to do so. Will check it out after work!
@ chelz
oh yes, way more. To me, spending time with the other person says that you’re really feeling them. You choose to share your time and energy with somebody knowing damn well you have somebody at home!
@Nisha
the only ppl that you need in your life are the ones that need you
Blaze,
What’s the challenge??? I’m curious now!
This is how I answered my question…
it’s easier for men to be friends with females after a break up because if something occurs again (like sex), the male could go through with it and still hold the same feelings of not wanting anything from it anymore. a female will become wrapped up in the sex, thinking its a means of reconciliation (well, some women)…and then get their feelings hurt when they realize that…it was just sex.
@Fab
hmmm…ok
So is cheating not just cheating? Is it broken down into individual categories? Each of which has its own scale in which you measure whether you can accept it and forgive it or not?
Wait, I’m slow, I see the challenge now. LMAO
Blaze nevermind!
I see it now lol.
Yeah Janean…I dont think you’re elgible..you’re taken right?
@ blaze
I’ll take your challenge.
Lol at the grocery store..what would you say?
@ Nisha
Any clue why women can’t get what I like to call “Homeboy Syndrome” just have a bang session with a guy and let it be just that? A BANG SESSION!
Why all the clingly, I Love You, Wanna be so close you can damn near smell his ass mentality?
Yes, I’m “Clink Clinked*
@ chelz
For me, it’s not so black and white. In the past, i did decide to work on a relationship after he cheated but he continued to see the person so that was a done deal. If he had decided to show his commitment to the relationship by not spending time anymore time with her, would it have worked? Possibly…but then probably not, trust was definitely broken, severed and stomped on lol
@nean
lmao @ bang session! Please! I am in tears lauging. Some women can handle that…
@smell his ass mentality…lmao
I was not ready for that.
@Fab
interesting…hey. whatever works for you. Aint no one formula for everybody. Its all perspective…
@Luving
Thats a tough place for me to try to meet someone…I’ll try and tell you all about it Mon.
Have you been to the Park yet on 14th st.?
@nean
lmao at clink, clinked
@fab
lmao at severed and stomped on! Classic fab
@blaze
I head that place is nice
Oh yeah I heard some of tip’s album (qtip in response to your question from yesterday) I like what I heard so far you?
@ blaze
lol ok. Yea I was there for the election viewing party. Good times!
A bang session….lol? Please elaborate…
@ nisha
I think it’s easier for either sex to be friends with an ex if they mutually decided to separate/recognized that things werent gonna work out. Any other time, if drama was involved, i dont see the need to be friends.
Blaze I will try to try….
blaze you KNOW what a bang session is.
@Ms Miss
lol…ayo I just need clarification from a womens perspective…
well we definitely don’t think it’s hammering nails in the wall.
Blaze
A Bang session is when a male and female have sexual relations. You get yours and I get mine. We clothe ourselves and I’ll holla when I need a tune up!
Is it ok to call it emotion-less sex where both parties have a mutual agreement..nothing more, nothing less?
@Janean
Just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.
Everyone needs one or two homies that are cool with that
blaze those are not needed.
@nean
lmao. Tune up? lmao
I can’t do it.
@ fab/Chelz
I view as emotional being much harder to swallow than physical cheating. His listening to her problems, telling her his, sharing goals for the future, etc. are what would worry my brain after I’ve been told. His meeting a chick and sleeping with her wouldn’t give me more than one night’s worry.
@Ms
When you finish up your celibacy phase….I highly recommend it for you.
“…I’ll holla when I need a tune up!”
Or your tires rotated. ;-)
@ms
I’m glad you didnt have a GC dream. I dont need you leaving me angry voicemail. Ha!
@and1
I had an outburst of laughter at rotating tires. Between you and janean I may have to leave for the day with all this laughter.
@reina
The emotional ties are waaaaay stronger then physical ones for me too. Yeah I will be mad at sexual activity but most folks forgive that.
@ Nisha
It’s highly unlikely that I’d forgive either or forgive and stay in the relationship. The physical cheating I would take as disrespect and his just being greedy. Being disrespected is easily forgotten and overcome. The emotional cheating would be more of a betrayal to me and thus would take me longer to forget.
Reina
What are few examples of emotional cheating?
Emotional Cheating? This is going to get deep.
lol @ the tire rotation topic.
blaze I don’t want any meaningless sex. none.
Emotional cheating is way too vague for me. If I confide in my male BFF that _____________. Does that mean that I cheated on my SO?
Could both types of cheating be tied together? Isn’t emotion tied to physical sex in a relationship?
**hums Rihanna’s Unfaitful and shakes head**
cheating is cheating is cheating…it means you dont love me and you not satisfied.
Hopefully that other chica has EXACTLY what you want cuz I’m chucking deuces. Where I’m going, homie, I don’t need you!
**sings Kanye’s Love Lockdown and does the running man**
Chelz
U all still listening to 2 Live Crew down there?
Miss
What’s wrong with meaningless sex?
@chelz
Please listen to the remix with your cousin Kellz
@blaze
**waits on response for qtip album*
@Blaze
no…not too much. We got this thing out now called ‘juking’ music and ’sticking and rolling’…
but clubs do break out the throwback Luke and the old Trick Daddy Dollars every now and then…
@Janean
Please dont get Ms Miss started…they have this celibacy movement in here going..lol.
DJ Kahled, Ross, Trina, Plies, aren’t they all FL cats?….Chelz, curious what are your top 3 Cd’s of all time?
@Nish
why he gotta be MY cousin? lmao…
wait…there’s a remix? Kells ALWAYS MURDERS a remix…
That new Luda joint with Nas and Jay is kind of hot.
Janean the amount of meaningless sex far outweighs the amount of meaningful sex i’ve had.
@Blaze
yup they are all FL artists…
top 3 cd’s? wow…lemme think
Trick Daddy – http://www.thug.com
the other 2? i’ll get back to you…
@chelz
you know chelz/kellz lmao
Oh yes honey!! you know the r. killed it.
Emotional cheating is when one partner has an extremely close relationship with a person of the opposite sex that transforms from regular friendship to something more. Instead of just hanging around platonically, the partner begins having feelings of attraction for the other person. Generally they begin talking intimately about things they should only be discussing with their significant other. They flirt with the other person, and behave inappropriately. They behave in a manner that is secretive and hurtful, keeping information from their partner and sneaking off to have private email or phone time with the other person. If he replaces time, feelings, and intimacy with someone other than me whom it’s obligated to, he’s betraying the trust that I’ve placed in him.
Sooner or later, it will become physical so yes it occasionally ties together. Becoming physical or not doesn’t lessen the fact that he’s given someone else that which should belong to me.
Miss I’ll take that answer
@ Blaze I know this Juke dancing you speak of.
I think it was featured in one of those old Verizon cell phone commercials lol.
Nisha can show me.
Reina what is your favorite CD right now?
sooo….I was asking someone last night what the definition of a partner was, cuz I was realizing that I’ve never been in a real ‘relationship’ before…I’ve just assumed the title because we were more than friends (in my book) and having sex so that = relationship right? (WRONG!)
anyway, a guy told me this…
@ Blaze
Year of the Gentleman by Ne-Yo
@blaze
*sits on floor waiting for qtip critique*
‘A girlfriend is the total package, everything is included physically, mentally, mind, body, soul…a relationship is commitment, the obligation, knowing that person is going to be there for whatever you need. Affectionm attention, support, etc.
Someone who is gonna be ther no matter the circumstances, somebody you have a connection with that you dont have with others, a friend who is aspiring to be more, someone who is not on someo other shit but is on some more shit”
We’re talking about music now…cool.
@NIsha
Haven’t heard it yet but I heard it was on point. I need to hear a few more joints from it before I cop it.
@ Chelz…
And you’ve never had that?
Moe
Thats my fault…its Friday…
@Blaze
That’s alright bruh. It’s a good topic.
@Reina
when i think about it? nope..not even the ‘fiance’…
just had a bunch of guys that had me in limbo…not true committment, no true support and love…just sex and friendship essentially.
Very enlightening…pitiful, but enlightening.
anyway, back to music…
I love the Ne-Yo Album…love the TI album, waiting for an Eminem album…
Chelz
Whats up with EM?
A lot of people slept on Usher’s album…but I like it.
@Blaze
I keep hearing he gettin ready to put something out, but I’ve got nothing! Its driving me crazy…
Em? Thought he was done with music.
@ chelz
well, we’re in the same boat, chica! Dont think ive been in such a relationship either. *sigh*
@Moe
I’ve heard a few songs from Usher’s album…the song ‘Here I Stand’?….I effin MELTED on that one…
@ fab
Shush it!
@Chelz
I’m feeling that one too…but I ran ‘Moving Mountains’ and ‘Before I Met You’ in the ground.,
WHat are everyones personal Top 5 cd’s of all time(R&B and Hip)?
@ REINA
What? its true :( *sigh* *sigh*
@Fab
I’m not even talking about being in a ‘good’ relationship…
I mean I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend or SO before…I’m realizing that I’ve just been ‘kicking it’ with ppl and convincing myself that we were in a relationship. It was completely fabricated. When I came to that conclusion the other day I just laughed for 20 minutes cuz I couldn’t believe that here I was thinking I was someone’s ex, when I was never anything to them whatsoever but a passing of time.
Hindsight man…hindsight
I’ve done it, but I don’t like it. I end up wondering if he’s doing it because he’s thinking he’d be stupid to pass on a date with a pretty girl (and if she asked, the chances of hittin’ that are higher, no?). And then afterwards, the guy sits back waiting for me to make all the moves again, since I did it first time. I’ll give out my number, make myself available, but I’d rather not come out and ask him out first. I must admit though, I put myself in these crazy predicaments all the time. Even though I won’t make that initial move, after we’ve begun talking and I feel more comfortable I’ll come out and start inviting you everywhichwhere, calling/texting first, etc. and then I’m back to feeling like, is he just humoring me cuz I’m “good for now” or is he into me like I’m into him? I’m sitting here thinking that now… I can’t help myself… I hate playing the games. I just can’t ever remember that everyone else is still playing them even if I don’t.
I dont know what my fave is because I get classic on folks. The new stuff is good don’t get me wrong but I listen to everything so my taste is crazy
@Blaze
I’m a music junkie, so I’m not even gonna try to answer that one. There’s just too many.
@moe
Usher had a few cuts on there.
@chelz
here I stand…ughhh I am on the brink of tears that is a great song.
@ Songbird
“Hittin’ that?” LMAO
Hi Chica!
@moe
You too…
*a man with good musical taste* great!!
@Blaze
anything by Jodeci, Jagged Edge, 112 had some real nice stuff, I love Ginuwine with a passion, Joe always makes a sista feel loved and lovely, Tyrese can sing the hell out of a song, Usher always have some true life stuff on his albums and Avant is my man…
@Chelz
U like Jon B? I thought his Cool & Relax CD was on point.
@Nisha
Yeah he did…I just didn’t feel like typing every one of them. lol I loved the production work on ‘Before I Met You’…from the vocal arrangements to the music itself. They killed it.
@Reina
Yeah, you know, “knockin’ boots” “hittin the skins”, “smackin bellies” LOL!
I wanna read what I’ve been missing, but I don’t have the time… hope everyone’s well!
@Blaze
yeah, Jon B is one of the smoothest singers we’ve had in this generation.
But let me not forget my females…Jazmine Sullivan can sing her azz off, Beyonce has some cuts (not just the anthems…she had this song called Speechless on her Dangerously in Love album…KILLED it), Lauren Hill of course, Mariah, Monica’s last album was the TRUTH…ugh, so many!
What’s up Songbird?
Chelsea, tell it! Love all them from the 90s… good stuff, for sure.
(@ Fab
If you do NOT, I WILL find him and ask him out myself!)
Biggie or Tupac?
PAC ALL DAY!
Hey T! Trying to blast through some work so I can enjoy my weekend! What’s good with you?
Talking about music… I’m loving Jazmine Sullivan’s album, just copped Q-Tip but haven’t given it a thorough listen yet… been looping the leaked Kanye album, trying to figure out how I feel about it.
I agree Chelz
@Blaze
I am a Janet fiend so I have to say one of my top albums is The Velvet Rope…Alicia Keys, Songs in A Minor… after that I like Donell Jones, umm Chico DeBarge, Joe…And just speaking on those mentioned, I am not a big Usher fan
@Chelsea the Troublemaker
Man JON B…Cool Relax was the album!
@SB
i live Kanye’s new album…I like the sound, I like his direction, I like his approach…and all his previous albums have been great too!
@Songbird
I’m just chilling now..killing time for the next hour. Then I’m outta here! Plans for the weekend?
Lyfe is another artist I love, and I STANS for Anthony Hamilton, Jaheim is a favorite of mine too…
808’s and heartbreak…great!!!
BIggie for me, love pac but biggie
Blaze — didn’t see you were asking about Top 5 EVER… ATCQ mos def, although I’m torn which album gets the spot. Each one got worn out when I got them!
Boyz II Men, their 1st album sits high, as does NERD’s In Search Of…
But honestly, a top 5 I simply cannot do. Too many great albums, all in different ways.
You ppl have forgot the greatness that is musiq soulchild lol
@Nisha
yup yup…Musiq has that fire too…
but Blackstreet was raw as hell back in the day too…let me not forget them…
Nisha — OMG, you are SOOO right about Musiq!
T – no plans, per se. Just trying to chill, and have ME time, which has been in short supply lately.
And that Amy Winehouse album Back to Black stirred my soul in some kinda way…I love that girl!
@Nisha
Love Musiq…Luvanmusiq was so good! Love Teachme
Sade’s ‘Love Deluxe’ was in HEAVY rotation.
Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson are two artists I love (anyone heard J Hud and Neyo’s Leaving Tonight? Oh my god…)
REINA
Imma get you!! *shaking fist*
@Songbird
Im with you on ATCQ…Low End Theory, De La Soul..3 Feet Rising, Pharcyde, Rakim..paid in Full Mos…all that old school hip hop.
People forget about Boyz to Men, their first 2-3 albums were classics. Guy… Bobby Browns first solo joint was a classic as well.
Al B. Sure’s first joint was nice.
yes! Leaving Tonight is HOTT!! It’s one of my ringtones, chelz. I love that song.
Musiq’s
143
merry go round
so beautiful (new joint)
and so many more
even though he is a perv… dont forget kellz
@the EC
Did you guys rock Color Me Badd?
@Blue
“Forever Love” was my favorite song by CMB.
Al B had a lot of cuts on his first joint..forgot about that one.
@Blue
I only listened to them on the New Jack City Soundtrack…they had me fooled until the video came out..lol
Favorite New Edition CD?
@Fab
girl, I know…I’m downloading it as we speak!
@eshe
hell yes! Color Me badd was pretty decent
I know you guys rocked with Tevin Campbell back in the day…that boy is an AMAZING singer!
And Mario and Trey Songs are the truth and they BOTH can get it!
Blaze — yeah, I can’t get enough of that early 90s hip hop. I was watching Juice over the weekend and got so amped, went looking for my soundtrack!
You know who gets slept on?
Amel larrieux….she has a great voice
@Blaze
N.E. Heartbreak…hands down!
3 words
Wu-Tang CLAN!!!
with moe on that
Nisha, you are so right. Her voice is so smooth
@Chels
Hard to say but Tevin’s first two albums had a lot of cuts…you cant even front on lil Tevin
Is you favorite Kells song ‘U Remind me of my Jeep? (Bentley)..lol
i love the early 90s RnB more than anything…love it love it love it!
For me its the tp-2 album
Oh man, VH1 Soul did a three hour block of New Jack Swing videos…straight addicted.
@Blaze
no…I think my fave Kellz song is When a Womans Fed Up…or Womans Threat…
you effin comedian…
Why pac over biggie?
I prob know the reason just want to hear opinoins.
@chelz
true! kellz is timeless, genius
Pac’s delivery, song content and swag was just amazing to me…his lyrics and all that just flowed and everyone could feel him when they listened to him…plus he was sexy as hell
@Moe
That Home Again cd was tight was well…all the way through
On the real I thought BBD’s first Cd changed hip hip…
Chels – and you mean to say Biggie wasn’t sexy as hell?? :P
Who remembers the classis Heavy D/AL B Sure collab ‘Don’t You know’
@NIsha
Biggie was a good story teller and had a few good party songs but he didnt have the depth Pac had…IMO
@SB
Biggie had swag before it was known as swag and the ladies obviously loved him…but Pac was rugged and had that smile…and that body…and the tats…
@Blaze
BBD did change the game up a little.
I refuse to listen to the Molester but i cant resist “step in the name of love” (or wuteva its called)
Jill Scott! I love that woman!
@Fab
Jill can sing her azz off.
Any Roots fans?
@Fab
he may be a criminal, but Kellz can write, produce and sing his azz off…everything he does is a hit…his ish is catchy and original, you can’t deny it…
and when he’s on a remix, he smashes it every single time
@Blaze
I’m really a southern rap girl…i dont mess with anything outside my own region to heavy but I have never heard anything from the roots that I disliked…
@ those few not engrossed in the music convo
I think that each person should feel unworthy of the other in a relationship or in nicer words, that person inspires you to better yourself. It has nothing to do with being overcome with insecurities, but it, at least, keeps both bringing their A game
and not taking the other for granted. If you’re not fearful of losing the other person, then how can the relationship be successful?
What say you?
Step in the Name of Love was def. a song you could play on my campus that got everyone dancing…
But in my words…
you could just close your eyes and be right there. To me he went back to the slick formula of story telling but he did it in a bklyn way! Love biggie!
I love pac because he was just himself. He would contradict himself all the time but that’s what you loved about him.
He’d have a song like hit’ em up vs. brenda’s got a baby or wonder why they call you bitch.
@Reina
Please clarify…are you saying one should be fearful of losing their SO in order of the relationship be successful?
I would just pull out my Boyz to Men album and play the song Uhh!
Classic….
I dont think fear should be an element in your relationship
@rei rei
I think there’s something to be said for wanting to be the best you that you can be for someone else. That alone makes it harder to take a person for granted. If nothing else, I think you would both stay plugged in to the relationship if you’re constantly challenging yourselves, and each other, to be better.
@Nisha
Good point…Pac would always get critisized for contradicting himself but remember he was just in his young 20’s trying to find his true identity. I dont think Big could pull of a Brenda’s got a Baby, So Many Tears, Me agaisnt the world, Keep Your Head Up,…IMO..Those type of songs seperated Pac from Big.
@Reina
I agree. That’s why I have a deep appreciation for intelligent women. I need someone who will keep me on my toes..who will make me think before I open my mouth. Because if I come with some weak ish…she’ll blow me and my half azz theory out of the water. I have to give credit to a former SO for helping me realize my own potential when I was in my early 20s. I was limited in my thinking, and she helped me see the possibilities. She made a LOT more money than I did at the time, but instead of being intimidated, it made me step up my game…because I didn’t feel like I was worthy.
@ Reina
Is it that the person should be humbled? I definitely think so. Anybody should feel that way because once you realize how much trust/support/everything somebody else puts forth towards you, you should definitely not want to disappoint that person, be the best that you can be not only for you but for him/her as well. A lot of risks are involved once you’re involved in a relationship with anybody.
see..if you stay SINGLE you wouldn’t have to worry bout stuff like this….
did I just say that out loud? Whoops….
@ and1
I do agree. When I’m in a relationship, I worry about his opinion, his reaction, etc. When I succeed, I take pleasure in knowing he’ll be proud.
@ Moe
Definitely, but it doesn’t have to be limited to your career. As much as I deplore cooking, I dated a guy who adored macadamia nut bars. He never asked me to make it, but I wanted to. For him. So I did, and I got pretty frigging good at it. It’s the desire to do what will put a smile on his face.
Oh yeah
Musiq Soulchild
Whoknows!!!!! just came on my ipod
love that song
Reina,
ahhh cooking. That’s definitely a sign that I care for someone. I dont do it often *cough* if at all *cough* but I am willing to try new things and please him.
@ Nisha
It’s not fear as if you are terrified at the thought of losing him so you bend to his will and desires. It’s more reverence and recognition of each other’s worth, and your desire to be worthy of. If it’s not mutual, then you definitely shouldn’t waste your time.
@Reina
My career was just an example, but you’re right, it can be applied to relationships as well. It’s part of the give and take necessary to maintain a successful relationship.
@reina
OK I am on it now I think I was lost in the sauce.
@fab me too.
@ fab
Exactly. Not disappointing him is important to me. As for macadamia cookies, lol. It was definitely a messy, sticky learning experience. It always ended up in my hair even though I pinned it up!
@Reina
I agree with you …#342
@ reina:
I guess that makes sense. But do both partners consistently bring their A game? Isn’t there always someone else who cares a little more?
@ Miss:
Funny you’re looking to have a companion during the holidays. I’m fighting the urge to get rid of mine. I don’t know where we stand, so this time of year is really tricky. Nov: Thanksgiving, his BDay. Dec: Christmas. Jan: My bday. Feb: valentine’s day. All of these “couple” times puts a lot of pressure on a sister.
@ blaze:
Sorry, I can’t (won’t) take your challenge. This weekend is the FL Classic, so the type of men that I’m looking for are likely in Orlando.
lol @ nisha being lost in the sauce…luv it!
@J Thought
Who’s playing in the classic?
@all
So what kind of skills (besides in the bedroom) have you picked up in order to please an SO? Personally, my ex loved massages so I got really good at those. I’m sure there are others but thats what comes to mind.
@fab
I can admit when I am lost in the sauce lol.
FAMU and Bethune Cookman. One year I’m going to head to New Orleans for that classic w/ grambling and southern (i think).
@ Reina
well, we know what you’re bringing if we ever have a potluck lol
@ Just
so no gifts for him huh? :)
@ and1:
I already could cook, so not that. I learned how to iron really well with one guy (he worked FT and I was in school, and I’d never creased a pair of pants in my life).
On the personal note, I learned how to hold my tongue, let small stuff slide, and to think before I speak. I’m still working on some other things revolving around letting a man be a man.
@blaze
I can’t take your challenge as well…heading home and home is NOT where I am going to find someone that I wish to even talk to for longer than 3 minutes.
@ J Thought
Yes, both parties should be. It has been said that one always loves the other more, but there is no algorithm to determine such. If there is mutual respect, mutual admiration, and both parties are giving and getting at the height of each’s ability, who loves each more is of no concern.
@and1
Cunnilingus! A brotha did his homework. LOL Techniques…variations…I studied it all.
@ Fabie:
I bought him a fleece pullover for his bday, but i might take it back. I was thinking of starting a fight over something stupid so he would just break up with me, but that is the coward’s way out.
@And1
This lady im working on has me up in the kitchen cooking homemade desserts…never did that before.
And1,
Great question! Like you, I got good with my hands but also got to learn how to communicate better. Might sound simple but i’m horrible at that and still learning.
@and1
‘So what kind of skills (besides in the bedroom)’
My bad.
@ and1
I once learned some sports terms. Unfortunately, they didn’t stick as I didn’t know what “home whites” were recently.
@and1
I worked on becoming a better listener, and following through on her requests.
@Moe
I totally missed and1’s question and saw your answer first…so glad no one was walking by at the point and time
“let small stuff slide” I’m def still working on that one!
@Blue
Sorry about that. lol
@ Moe
Reading is fundamental…aint it? ;)
@Fab
In this case…paying attention is fundamental. lol
aND1
COMMUNICATION…I used to shut down.
@ Moe
Most definitely, sir LOL
I’m about to head out…I’ll catch up when I get home.
@moe
You really made me slap my forehead on that one. Read the fine print!! Ha!
@nisha
Communication is difficult for me also. I’m not a talk about my day person and I’m also too willing to let things slide that I shouldnt. I think I spoiled exes that way. Too willing to take the blame for things that were the other’s fault.
‘Cunnilingus! A brotha did his homework. LOL Techniques…variations…I studied it all.’
Lol…and he was so excited about it! lmao…Moeksi eats the kitty…hehehehe…
@JAT
I’m SOOOOOOO pissed that I cant hit the Classic this year…I’m so last minute and my friends all cancelled on me so there is no way I can go now…I usually never miss it tho! I had a great time last year tho…
@Chelz
you never answered my question #310?
Fly Guy: Thanks for calling me out on getting pumped when catching The Smurfs & The Snorks…!!
*embarrassed*
:-/
yeah I did…read #314 smarty pants!
@ Chelsea:
I’m not too worried about missing it. I met up w/ my old girlfriends from undergrad, and it was mindblowing to see how little we had in common. That, and the queen bee of the group was trying to pull some of her old antics. I would’ve cut out sooner, but the girl who was driving’s alternator went out, and I didn’t want to leave them stranded.
My Bad…..lol. You know I had to ask.
@JAT
I usually have a blast, but the one drawback is that all the chicks are trying to pull all the guys…meaning they walk around like cuz they have hips and thighs and big booties, long weaves and snow boots on that ni**as should be flocking…
sad part is, ni**as do flock and the games that ensue are ridiculous…but the club scene and the strip are BANANAS! oh well…theres always next year (when i’ll finally be 21 and able to celebrate properly….hehehe)
@everyone
Sorry I forgot BILAL!!!!!!! sorry went back to music lol
@NIsha
U like Raheem?
Well, I’ll leave you to it. I think I’m going to head to the Big Easy and get some gumbo.
@blaze
oh yeah he is good as heck but I think the only one who could maybe rival with bilal is musiq. Bilal has range that is sick
Yeah when he isn’t smoked out..lol
@ nisha:
no worries. I wasn’t a big Bilal fan. There haven’t been too many people listed that I didn’t like. I don’t buy CDs or download music (laptop issues) so I can’t really comment on top 3 cds.
And, on a tangent, I met Jill Scott at a book signing and she is one of the nicest, sweetest, down to earth people I have ever met. i loved her music before, but I was a certified #1 fan after that.
@JAT
i aint goin…im staying here and praying i can finally find a condo this weekend so i can finally move
@JAT
I adore that bilal lol. Jill is bad to the bone.
@NIsha
Whats going on in Bmore tonight?
good luck on the move Chelsea.
@blaze
not a damn thing…lol
I can not stand living here. lol
@ Nisha:
When I was in Bmore, there were nothing but heroin heads running around. I liked the harbor though.
And why are there so many cemetaries everywhere?
Are you going back to NY for Thanksgiving?
@Miss
I dont think i’ll ever find a place…this is more difficult that it was the first time
@blaze
yes I will be in the nyc. lol
@JAT
this place is the pits!!! I mean I am from nyc so nyc compared to bmore is like huh? There are a lot of murders in bmore. I live in the county where deers wonder, this kid killed his family(sad but true) and little brown kids want to act hardcore, because they are in the county.
@nisha
so why do you live there? i mean why the move from nyc to bmore?
@nisha
“I live in the county where deers wonder”
Is that a riddle? Ever since I saw The Wire, “Murdaland” is somewhere I could NOT live.
well, we are in a recession!
Blaze — Raheem FTW! You and Mo Better make the panties drop! LOL
Reina — I hear you. A little humbling is good… as long as it doesn’t turn into deeper insecurities, to the point where you think, “why try so hard, he/she’s only gonna leave me anyway, cuz why would they want to be with me in the 1st place?”
T-Moe — Cunnilingus LMAO!! Good one. Hey, good for you… too many men talk a good game and then we find out they’re clueless!
What have I learned? Taking care of children. My ex fiance had a daughter, so I helped in raising her. Makes me think awfully hard about letting any mistakes happen… not on my clock!