She's Letting Herself Go (Guest Feature)
Oct 6th, 2008 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Features
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By Chris Illuminati
Remember the first time you met your girlfriend or wife? Didn’t you love those skintight jeans and the top that made it impossible to look her in the eyes? Now think back to the wedding day: Months of dieting, Pilates, and expensive hair appointments transformed her into a beautiful bride and a head-turner on the honeymoon. Now snap back to the present: It’s a few years, an expired gym membership, several discount hair chops, and hundreds of weekends in extra large sweats later and your head-turning partner has become a head-scratching dilemma.
Truth be told, she’s letting herself go.
There could be a number of reasons why she’s letting herself go, but you don’t have the time or the psychology degree to figure out all the “whys.” You should, however, devise a plan to figure out how you are going to change her current attitude.
Here are some of the ways she’s letting herself go and suggestions on how to turn her back into a knockout.
She’s putting on weight
Life starts moving fast while the metabolism starts slowing down. Here’s a scenario that might explain why she’s letting herself go: She’s too tired to hit the gym and she’s always on the go, which leads her to constantly eat on the go. She’s letting herself go because she’s finding it impossible to eat healthy, which is leading to unwanted pounds. You want to tell her to hit the treadmill, but she would drop a 45-pound plate on your skull if you made any indication that she needed to lose weight. A few extra pounds may lead to a few bigger dress sizes and she becomes a fun-house mirror image of her old self.
Get her back into fighting shape: Make it all about you. Tell her you are feeling overweight and self-conscious and want to lose some weight. Ask her to be your gym buddy. If she doesn’t like grunting it out at the gym, find activities that promote fitness but don’t feel like working out. Arrange some “workout dates” like biking, hiking and stop for a low-fat snack afterward. Many women need an event for which to get ready; why do you think she looked so good on your wedding day? Pick an event to prepare for and train with her to run a 5K or to look your best for your next high school reunion.
She’s neglecting her hygiene
Ask any woman and she will tell you “beauty is pain.” Not only does it mean that it hurts to stay attractive (Bikini wax anyone?) but that it’s also a pain in her (once toned) butt to keep up the upkeep. So, now she’s letting herself go because it’s much easier to maintain the hygiene habits of an 11-year-old boy. Now her finger nails are short and dirty, she doesn’t shave (anywhere) often enough and she gets her hair cut and colored in salons that still specialize in perms.
Get her feeling fresh and frisky: Buy her a gift certificate for a day at the spa. Find a place that specializes in the maintenance of all the female areas and buy certificates for specific treatments like facials, nails, waxing or massages or one general certificate and let her choose how she spends it. At least something will get groomed. Give it to her as a “just because” gift and mention how she deserves to be pampered — then casually hint that you like it when she is waxed and manicured.
She’s dressing like a slob
It used to be that you couldn’t drag her out of the mall or high-end department stores. Now, she has traded in her designer attire for box-store discount duds. She has started to dress like a mom — worse, she’s letting herself go and becoming your mom — and it’s a major turnoff. The fact is that, just like men, at some point women care more about comfort than style and label. Also, if she has packed on more than a few pounds, she is going to pick clothes that she thinks will hide her extra weight.
Get her dressed to kill: Offer to take her shopping on your dime. Help her pick out outfits by telling her exactly what clothes you like and don’t like on her. If she sees that you keep picking tight shirts and low-rise jeans, she will get the hint. Make sure to venture into the lingerie section for nighttime attire. Ask her out on evening dates and tell her to get dressed up. Take her places where she knows other women will be dressed to impress so she has to dress well.
The Conclusion:
Just be subtle and tread lightly into each conversation you bring up about her weight, clothing choices and the fact that she has more underarm hair than half your men’s softball team. Each of these problems is easily remedied. Most important in all of this is to try to get to the bottom of exactly why she’s letting herself go. It could be something even more serious than just lack of time or effort.
The Fly Questions of the Day:
1. Have you ever let yourself go in a relationship? Why?
2. Have you ever been with someone who let themselves go? How did you address it?
3. Does letting yourself go encourage infidelity?
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