Face Facts: It's Over

Man, this is rough…my BD would cheat and I would forgive him and take him back…and the cycle would repeat. Finally I said enough and he accused me of not having unconditional love for him, actually he said “How can you love (our child) and not love me…he was a lost soul

deja vu…..have u done this topic before FG? prolly not maybe i just read it on another blog and yes i have been stalked tis all

That was a deep article, I hate break ups period just always messy unless your both tired of each other and feel you can’t be together then make a mature decision to move on, but that rarely happens.DENIAL IS UGLY !!

I’ve been a lurker on this site for a while but I just had to comment…not so much on the topic of “It’s Over” but just how HOT the new John Legend is. Clearly you’ve already used two of his songs for your most recent posts.

not quite. I made a video about a bad date gone wrong. This is a little deeper.

btw, What’s good Chrissy

wow…for the first time ever I don’t have anything to personally contribute. I have to say that all my ‘relationships’ we not things worth fighting for, so neither of us fought. They walked away easily and so did I.

@Leah But,

yeah, I’ve been living with the cd for a while now, so I agree with you. Some of the songs are very relevant to things that we should be discussing right now.

Been on both sides of this coin. Distance helped in both situations but moreso for an ex that didnt want to let go. When it was me that didnt want to go, it was mostly b/c I was young and I thought the person was worth the fight.

I have had a sitch where my ex didn’t want to accept that it was over. For awhile, he just pretended like I hadn’t broken up with him, and he’d call and tell me, not ask, where we were going this weekend. And that I’d always be his, etc. It became a stalking situation, and I had to obtain a restraining order.

That is my favorite song on that album…

Not that I’ve heard it all…

Or anything…

*blinks

*runs away

Ok I had one relationship that way , he was a never ending cycle that old and tired.I said look here partna, we need to stop all the back and forth games we are both playing and just go our seperate ways obviously we both feel we can do better and find something better,I knew I was mostly talking about myself,but he got the hint for about 2 months. He still calls every now and then and try to stay relevent.

Have you ever experienced an ex that just didn’t want to let go? If so, how did you handle the situation?

My situation wasn’t that drastic..stressful though. She came over again the day after I ended things trying to persuade me to change my mind. It took several hours to finally convince her it was really over. She even offered the “for old times sake” sex, but I politely declined (I ended things right after she ended her menstrual cycle..I wasn’t even trying to get caught up in that “I’m late” BS). She called me everyday for the following week, and I let her talk to keep her from coming over again. By the end of the week, I had my stuff back and she had hers, and it was a wrap. She called me again about a month and half later crying, and rehashing the whole situation again. After that, she left me alone.

*Please Take Note*
Never break up with someone at your house. Getting him/her to leave will be one of the biggest pain in the azz experiences you you will ever face.

By contrast, have you ever been in a position where you refused to let a relationship go? Why did you keep fighting for it?

Twice. The first time: I met this chic about 3 months before I went to Korea and we both got caught up during that short time. We kept in touch while I was in Korea, and she actually came to see me. I really didn’t have time to get to really know her before I left, so I created an image of who I thought she was and fell in love with that image. Her true colors started showing while I was gone, and when I got back to the US, I learned she was no where near the person I created. But I was still caught up in my creation, and didn’t want to let it go. She strung me along for about 3-4 months before I finally said “f*ck it” and moved on. The second time: I was p*ssy whipped…plain and simple.

lol@ ‘stay relevant’

‘(I ended things right after she ended her menstrual cycle..I wasn’t even trying to get caught up in that “I’m late” BS). ‘

hilarious

@chelsea you know how some do, try to play all nice,sweet and friendly.You have to give them a reality check “Are you not the same one that cheated on me” (silence) um huh …I thought so. lol

@lyrical

thats when they tell you ‘people change’…and thats when I hang up

@ Lyrical

I agree. My ex AKA the stalker cheated on me. I caught him in the act, and he still couldn’t accept that it was over. But of course, he considered his cheating as doing me a favor.

how is cheating possibly a favor to you? actually…lets not even get into that convo

Man…

I ended things with an ex and he would not listen, just pretended I never said this is not working. I would say it just about everytime we talked so he would get it but…nope.

Haha good question! I was in a relationship w/ my HS sweetheart for about 6 years. I knew at about 4 yrs in that it might not work out in the long run. At the turning age of 25, I realized that enough was enough. We obviously were going two TOTALLY different directions. I had to break it off for the LAST and final time. He was very angry and hurt, which is understandable. I was even worried about his mindstate for a while. He’s okay now, but it was a learning lesson for the both of us.

I know ppl say you have to be willing to work on a relationship but when its over it is…no sense in beating a dead horse.

@ Chelsea

LOL That wasn’t the extent of his faulty logic. This is the same guy whose demise wouldn’t have been met with sorrow by me.

Hi guys! new comer here!!
Ive had a stalker or 2 (UGH) but it wasnt anyone i was in a relationship with. I think it’s an absolute waste of time when people keep going back and forth. IMO They’re hoping the other person changes but that rarely happens.

@Reina

oh the guy you wished was dead? Got it

Long time lurker here…

Have you ever experienced an ex that just didn’t want to let go? If so, how did you handle the situation?

I’m usually in this situation a lot…twice I would say directly applies…I usually try to end a relationship, most times because something terrible happened, the person asked me to stay and I do. Never as the same person I was before tho. I think I work to push them away and eventually in anger they end it and I never let them change their mind. I’ve had two people still wishing they had not have ended it and continue to hope we would have a future.

Going forward from those instances, I now tell people I don’t believe in “second chances”. I’m willing to forgive on certain instances but if you cheat or I find you are lying to me…there is huge possibility you will never be able to regain my trust and staying in the relationship would just be a dead end.

By contrast, have you ever been in a position where you refused to let a relationship go? Why did you keep fighting for it?

One of the relationships mentioned above was my boyfriend before I went to college. I was incredible naive and thought he would never cheat on me. A year later I found out he did…he asked for another chance I gave it to him…things were never the same. We fought constantly for two years and I was always the one forgiving…until one day he ended it…next day he came back to say he made a mistake I told him he had to live with his decision…

@ Fab, V, and Leah But

Welcome. Welcome, Welcome. We need more of your comments. I can’t carry this thing all by myself. It’s gets tiresome having to carry everyone…lol

@newcomers

Lurking is not appreciated. You must be like the rest of us losers and constantly keep checking back and posting all day long…

unless of course you ACTUALLY HAVE A JOB…but ur not exempt then either so it really don’t matter.

Reina the Welcome Committee will be coming thru momentarily wiht your official “Welcome to FG” speech.

That is all.

Tubbs…where the neck have you been? is it really you? lol

@newcomers

Correction: Reina and TUBBS (the ghost) will be coming thru momentarily with your official “Welcome to FG” speech.

Carry on.

lol yall r awesome! Thanks Tubbs and Chelsea!!
I am currently at work but taking a Mental Day off (well, a few hours anyway since i cant escape ppl here).
Lurking was a way of life but i have finally seen the light LOL

Rejoice Tubbs, you’re not by urself anymore…we have come to save you LOL

Tubbs dont carry nobody…dont listen to that fool.

@chelsea and reina We are missing some one…..BLACK, Can’t wait to read his I swear THE CHRONICLES AND MISADVENTURES OF BLACKFUJONES, lmao

@ Chelsea

Nope. Last time, FG accused me of stealing.

Nonetheless…

Fab, V, Leah

I am the welcoming committee around these parts. So Bienvenidos! We here at FG do appreciate your visiting us and hope you return. Please refresh the page every other minute and upload a photo because we here at FG are attention whores.

Welcome!

Have I been on both sides of this? I will have to say yes.

I had an ex where we would break up and make up in so many cycles over the years and I had finally gotten rid of him when he decided to once again flee from his problems. I was glad no more bumping into him and such. Then he hits me up on myspace and calls saying he is back and all of this and I had to just tell him cut and dry and painfully that he is the stuff that grows on scum. I will NEVER want him again and his ‘friendship’ wasn’t even worth wiping my ass with.

Guy I’ve talked about on here after he broke things off we hung out a couple times fairly quick after our break up and I thought there was still a chance. Once I saw that there wasn’t I just left well enough alone. So no one has ever said ‘I just don’t want you’ and really meant it. I either left well enough alone or it was mutual.

One thing that I have an issue with though is just outright telling someone that I’m done especially if they have done nothing wrong. I will usually pull a T.O.N.Y and fall off the face of the earth (which is probably more hurtful) then to tell someone ‘I’m not interested anymore’ and then have to explain. I need to work on that.

@ Lyrical

Where is Black? I think I may actually have a story for him this time, and mine may be better.

LOL Gracias, Senorita Reina! Yall welcome lurkers in style in here…luvs it!
upload a photo huh? hmmmm

@Chelsea,

Sounds like hate. We all know that I’m the backbone around these parts.

hey Tubbs. how are your repairs coming?

@Ms.

I’m back in business. Can’t let a little estrogen craze get me down. lol

Thankks guys! I do have a job but I am on here everyday reading you guys comments, i’ve seen the many stories and debates

I’m still in member status unlike some of these guys and fab chics here.So all I can say is WELCOME NEWBIES !!!!!

*whining* but Tubbs doesnt have a pic up! His current one doesnt count.

@ Fab

He is Phillip Michael Thomas.

@ V

You’re here. That automatically means you’re unemployed. No need to lie. We do not judge. LOL

hey V! that is actually my nickname, lol

welcome new commenters!

@Tubbs

the last time you popped that fly mess to a woman you had to file a police report…I suggest you watch ur mouth! lol…j/k homie…its all love

@Reina you,chelsea,and black are neck and neck. I’m taking notes and writing a book as well, I will send you guys rough drafts by fedex, lmao

@ Reina
I am an immigrant n did recognize the face but are you saying that he’s the real thing?? * in awe…not really)

You’re here. That automatically means you’re unemployed. No need to lie. We do not judge.

Aint it the truth…don’t be like FG V. That fool SWEAR he got a job…psh! (side eyes FG) lol…

ummm i’m at work right now!

Yeah…I am working feverishly.

@ Ms.

Sure you are. I bet you’d even claim you’re wearing panties.

@ fab

Immigrant, huh? From where? *crosses finger for a Latin country*

My very first boyfriend during my freshman year didn’t get the hint after 3 mo.s BF probation, my publically declaring we were not together, and my dating someone who worked with both of us. Finally, when he realized that I’d actually begun an intimate relationship, he tried to come over my house late one night. Angry large muscluar black man being interrupted by significantly smaller black man during congress was not a situation that contributed to my ex’s health and welfare. My most recent ex was a stalker, so i slapped him with a restaining order.

Moving on, I tried to hold onto one relationship, my second BF and the only person I’ve ever been in love with (unrequited). I thought given time we could make things work, he disagreed. I pulled the whole “call every so often and pretend that we’re cool and I’m his friend” thing to “stay relevant,” but eventually realized I was still carrying a torch for him, so I cut off all communication and tossed all the momentos and pics from that relationship.

you know what Reina? I AM wearing panties. I went to the gym last night and BROUGHT panties. So there…

hold all convo…im going to Burger King! (runs away from ‘desk’)

@ Ms.

LOL You went to the gym again? How many days have you been? You’re making me feel guilty.

ummm just saturday and then yesterday, i was supposed to go Monday but I just half assed a workout at home.

@ Miss..

I may need to roll with you, I have slacked on the gym this week.

i go back on saturday morning. honestly if i could go everyday i would. i’m trying for your waist by next summer, lol

Tubbs, ur hill-arious!!! I like ur pic, big improvment

@nisha:

there isn’t much else to do in seattle when it is raining. sit at home and watch reruns or go to the gym

@ Ms.

Yeah, I’ve been slacking this week. If the weather permits, I’ll play softball this weekend. That should fulfill my quota.

Eat chocolate for breakfast and lunch. That should help. LOL

Reina I bet you bleed chocolate dont you?

@ Miss

well you doing it giiiiiiiiiirl!

@ Reina
I’m from Haiti, baby!! All bow down LOL

@Fab,

This pic does count. Everyone knows that it’s me.

@what?
Thanks. Glad you like the pic. I’ve been using juices and berries lately.

@ fab…

Hey now…I’m jamaican dont know if I can bow lol. j/p

@ Ms.

Quite possibly. But I haven’t had any two days. Well, no just 24 hours.

@ Nisha

You’ve slacked b/c you’ve been flashing thighs at the club. We got you. lol

@ Fab

Eh…at least you’re from the Caribbean j/k

@Nisha,

I’ve been laying low lately. Have crazy women looking for me trying to steal my royalities from the DVD series we just released.

@ tubbs

Its not a kit? j/p

Where is blaze? I need to know about this spot out in d.c.

I really need to get in to gear, I heard its better to workout in the morning time burn my calories, so you can eat chocolate for breakfast and your metabolism will burn it right up. YEAH RIGHT !!! lol

@ reina…

Lmao. Yeah I think my next pic will be a nice wholesome one lol.

@ tubbs

Please tell that woman to “simmer down now!”

@nisha,

Some people just don’t want to learn. Sad

“Angry large muscluar black man being interrupted by significantly smaller black man during congress was not a situation that contributed to my ex’s health and welfare.”

Congress…I like that.

@ Lyrical…

girl I used to go in the morning but umm the afternoon is better i have no excuse like I slept too long and now I dont have time for the gym…well that was my excuse lol.

@Nisha
My bad, I’m actually got to get some work done today. Are you coming out tonight? We’ll be out tonight at a few spots, including The Park…

@ Lyrical

I prefer morning work-outs because it gives me more energy for the day AND it’s out the way. I hate going to the gym in the evenings. Actually, I just hate the gym no matter what time of the day it is.

**excuse the typos

@ blaze…

Oh ok get your work done sir lol.

Umm I think we may swing through… not too sure.

@Nisha
Make sure you rock that same dress you got in your photo

@lyrical
Lunch time is also good. Breaks up the monotony of the day. Are you talking weights or cardio?

I need to start walking at lunch but i only have a half hour boo!

@ Ms.

What do you do at the gym? Elliptical, aerobics classes, weights, etc?

I “was” doing both 45mins cardio and alternate my weight training by upper and lower every other day. And I do the protein thing when I want to lose 10 in 2 weeks

@Reina I hate the elliptical ,I never last 3 minutes, lol Feel like I’m going to fall backwards

I am too shy to go over to the free weights with all those beefcake thick necked men, lol. I usually swim twice per week, always do the elliptical machines, an aerobic class, i try to hit every machine except the bikes because the seat hurts my butt and other folks are nasty, lol. there are a few weight machines i hit each week too.

i go get burger king and you fools are talkin about treadmills and gym workouts when I get back! When I got out the military, I swore off ‘working out’…now u guys make me feel guilty

@Ms.
If you put on some panties, you won’t have to worry about something on the seat leaking through. lol

hey moe I aint got no leaks and i only went sans panties like three times! I just know that some folks don’t wear underwear and there are even more that don’t wipe well. plus i have strong legs already.

@ Lyrical

LOL I have a similar feeling about the treadmill. I just know I’m going to fall and bust up my chin.

@ Miss

I couldn’t lift the bar so weights would be lost on me.

@Ms.
There are some nasty people in the gym.

@ Moe

“The second time: I was p*ssy whipped…plain and simple.”

Explain please. What made it so whippable? I’d like pointers.

Ms do you get sraed at when you hit the gym? by like the beef neck types?

**stared at when you hit the gym?

@Reina
In two words…..Coochie Control.

Her coochie muscles were so strong, it felt like a hand was grabbing my joint.

Got it. LOL

@Reina
I was only 22 at the time…I wasn’t ready for that.

stares? not really. I usually look a mess. hair in a curly messy bun. headphones on, i probably look very classic angry black woman. lol. i dont wear cute gym stuff either. big old t-shirt sweat pants. i aint there is impress anyone. lol

@ Moe

So when it occurs nowadays, you can just shrug it off?

@Moe
That is very rare to find a woman like that so I feel you.

>>>>>> kegal master

@Reina
I would love to pound my chest and say I’m stronger than that…but I’d be lying my azz off. It’s much harder for a woman to get inside my head though.

@Blaze
I have only met 2 in my life.

@ Moe

LOL Kudos for being honest.

There are women on earth who don’t have control of their PC muscles? (bewildered stare)And you’re coming across these women? Wow…my sympathy

@Ms.
You got it…Kegals.

@Chelsea
It really is far and few between

@Chelsea
Either they don’t have it…or they don’t know what to really do with it. Not sure.

Miss! we need to teach a class. Teach women how to strengthen their coochie muscles and cook…preferably at the same time.

@blaze

i’m flabbergasted…i thought Kegals were common knowledge?

@ Tubbs
got it, sir LOL
@ Reina
lol Caribbean it is
@ Nisha
Jamaican huh? Uh uh…are we supposed to be beefing? Or so I heard LOL
@ everyone
Like a hand, u say? wow

@Chelsea
Quite a few slippery ropes out there.

@Reina
I would like to think I’m immune, I know better, and that a woman can’t rattle me like that again. But I know it could happen at any time.

I try to do those kegal things but forget sometimes. How do we know they are really working anyway?

@blaze

oh lord..not ‘slippery ropes’…sex is so EASY…how could you lack in such an area?

Teach women how to strengthen their coochie muscles and cook…preferably at the same time.

@Chelsea
This sounds like a winner to me! LOL

1. Was with one ex for 9 years and for all his cheating and committment issues, he had a very difficult time letting go. It was hard for me too but I told him I didn’t want the relationship anymore and he kept trying to communicate. I moved to a different city and he still txt me (apologizing profusely and asking to give him a fifth chance!), still called and left love songs on my voice mail, drove two hours and popped up at my job. I started ignoring his txts and calls. He continued for a year after the break up…and then finally got the hint.
2. That same relationship was alot of back and forth on both our parts for several years…was hard for me to face the fact that it just wasn’t going to work. Held on because of time invested, love, closeness to his family, and future promised. I held onto the “potential” of the relationship. I thought it was worth the fight. But he wasn’t the one trying to break up, I was. And then I would always accept his apologies and go back to him. Took a while, but I finally woke up. I learned alot from that situation.

@fab

just break them out in your next sex session…(i’m bout to get semi-graphic here) as your man is withdrawing…clamp down and squeeze him and see if you don’t know right then and there if all those Kegals worked

“I try to do those kegal things but forget sometimes. How do we know they are really working anyway?”

Oh, you will know…lol

@Fab
The next time you have sex..flex your muscles and check out the response.

*Disclaimer*
Don’t try this on just any random dude! You may get more than you bargained for.

ahhhh well, thanks Chelsea. I will be trying that in year 2050

wait Fab…are you….dare i say….CELIBATE???? (dramatic music cue….here)

@Chelsea
Sex is easy but not some satisfy more than others…kind of seperates the girls from women. I;m sure you saw that Chris Rock special when that cat said certain actions had him speaking Arabic..?

@ quietone

I can definitely commisserate with number 2. Sometimes, it’s hard to let go due to that lasting hope of what the future could possibly be. My last relationship ended this way. Though it was glaringly obvious, I didn’t want to accept the finality of it, and neither did he. I finally ended it for preservation of our sanity.

wow….apologies for interrupting the kegal discussion. guess i took too long to submit my comments… lol

@ T-Moe
Flex the muscles huh? LOL love the way you put it. Well, the 1st time i had sex with the last guy that i dated, he did bite me on both arms so ill take that as a compliment *pats self in the back*
Here i am thinking other women were “flexing their muscles” throughout the whole thing!!

@blaze

naw…my mind is blank on that one…is that the new Chris Rock?

@Fabie
I now “officially” welcome you to the site…lol

@Chelsea
Yeah u need to check that joint out…dude is sic but so damn true. HBO joint..

@ Chelsea
Yes, ma’am! Well, back to square one really. Did the celibate thing about 2 years ago then met the guy i was dating and everything went to hell!! a lil bitter yall, forgive me.

I saw that Chris Rock special. He was a bit profane even by his standards. LOL But still, I had tears in mine eyes for most of it.

All women should do kegals,First session starts today while we are commenting and stop when we hit 200 post, lmao. I had a couple whipped , SOOO DAMN HARD TO GET RID OF , some of us have to coem with warning labels. Thats why we get the stalkers.

@Fab

WELCOME TO THE CELIBATE CLUB!! I’m Chelsea the resident occasional backslider (I blame it all on the Grey Goose) and this is Miss Ms, our President and motivational speaker.

Our motto here at C.C is “Keep it tight! Don’t give up the cat”…and when you say our motto you have to EITHER do the Running Man OR the Soulja Boy…thank you and welcome once again.

Yeah C Rock snapped on this one..he didnt hold anything back. He was right about women not going back finacially and men not going back sexually…

For the men who don’t know…you need to exercise your PC muscle as well. Keeps the wood strong…and if you get strong enough, you can stop yourself from ejaculating.

yay! another celib sister!

Thank you, blaze…i feel loved LOL
@ Chelsea,
SB you say? I can do that easy. Even watch the “intructional” video on youtube one night. Dont judge me lol

@Moe

that…ahem…talent leads to what I like to call ‘torture sex’…thats when ol boy lasts FOR-EV-ER! I’ve had all nite sex sessions…they’re HELL on the va jay jay!

Let me get this straight…In all of your terms…celibate means not having sex unless you’re in a relationship..correct?

**beams at Fab

Ladies…i think we have found a new sister!

Why are women always talking about going all night when they dry out after about 45 minutes?

Oh and Fabie’s a cutie talking like that….Fa sho

@ Ms,
Hey lady! I had actually stumbled through your website before. I regurlarly visit those hair forums (specifically 2) and that’s where i had clicked on the link.

@blaze

thats what it means for Reina…for me it means I don’t have sex at all (unless I get too many drinks and bump into an old fling…I’m not responsible for what happens after that) and for Miss it means no sex…period.

We aint too sure bout Fab….

For me, it means no sex…period! *praying*

@Chelsea
Thats a helluva disclaimer u put out there….lol.

@Moe

aint no Sahara Desert coochie round here

@Chelsea
LOL

You guys, there’s another post.

@ blaze
*blushing* why thank you, sir!
@ T-Moe
drying out after 45 min?? says who? Not here, sir! I dont have that problem

Moe-
They all tellin fibbs up in this joint..They know damn well if some available dic came their way…

@blaze

well alcohol makes me very randy…which is why Reina and I had that whole discussion bout me bumping uglies with a throwback ex like 2 weeks ago…

‘Debauchery’ as Moe referred to it

but honestly…my celibacy is for real. I’m definitely no where near a relationship, so therefore no one gets the Goods. Cuz they’re a package deal

awesome Fabie! I need to update my blog badly! lol. did you join BHM? my name on their is slayfresh but i’m sure you already know that, lol.

@Blaze
Chelsea put her disclaimer on it…Grey Goose & it’s a wrap!

Ms. Miss – I think she knows she could slip up, so she won’t put herself in the position to give it up.

What is BHM?

ummm and Blaze I honestly am just not having sex. If I get into a relationship I will handle that when the time comes. In the past I would have sex whenever I felt like it.

blackhairmedia

@Ms Miss
Out of all of the ladies on the site I seem to believe you the most …but whats up with the teasing the other day?

My celibacy is sporadic. LOL It ends when I’m in a committed relationship and restarts if & when that relationship ends.

@Moe

those days are behind me now…

Moe you are absolutely right. At times I have thought I was borderline sex addict. I will not put myself in a situation that allows for me to become that weak and give in. Though it was been close to 5 months I am still in that cold turkey phase. Maybe at the 8 month mark I can be stronger but until then no penis within a 100 yard radius of my funbox.

@Reina
…the essay continues to grow. I’ll be on page 2 in a minute! lol

I’ve been celibate the longest. Shouldn’t I get a medal, purple heart, or something?

@ MOE
Why do they hold that thang like a hostage knowing they could be broken down in an instance ( or in Chelsea’s situation a splash of some $13 smirnoff vodka..lol)

@ Moe

You haven’t made it to page 2 yet? What are you using? Legal paper?

@Ms.
That’s the easiest way to stay out of trouble. That’s the easiest way not to cheat too.

@Blaze
I guess it’s because the heart of most women is connected to the “funbox” as Ms. calls it.

@Reina
I’m typing it up in Word…single space.

@ Moe

LOL I have another question for you. (You’re like my Dr. Phil)

At what point in a relationship does a guy grow bored? I’m referring to strictly physical. If she was a size 4/6 when you met her and she’s remained at that size, what would make you unaroused with her physically? And why? Basically, if her appearance is the same as it was when you met her.

‘You haven’t made it to page 2 yet? What are you using? Legal paper?’

HILARIOUS

@blaze

hey! dont judge me! Grey Goose gets you loose! Nelly and TI already told you that!

Reina is DEF talking about herself with this question Moe, so answer CARE-FUL-LY!

@ Chelsea

I am not! Random thought. Like yesterday was.

I’m actually in the same boat that Reina is in. So we shouldnt be calling it being celibate?
@ Ms,
Thats what it was! BHM (black hair media, Reina). I’m a lurker there too

@ Fab

And1 told me yesterday that it’s not celibate. It’s being “particular.” So we’re particular.

Rant of the day: i just FINALLY got some lunch and the idiot there made my sandwich using day old bread instead of the croissant i asked for!!!!!!!!! UGH

@Reina
You would be surprised at how many people call me that. LOL

For me, in the scenario you provided, it probably wouldn’t have anything to do with your physical appearance. If you kept the body tight, and I still grew bored of you, it would be an issue I have with your personality. I don’t care how fine or beautiful a woman is, when her attitude is poor, I’ll get tired of her. If you piss me off too many times, I can pass on the sex.

@blaze

and im not holding the good good hostage…i’m waiting till I can find someone else mature enough to not just take all the free freaky sex he can get without any of the responsibility and committment…and also waiting until I’m stable enough to put my foot down and tell the difference. Casual sex is not doing it for me…its causing me heartache and drama…commit to me and get the whole package, or remain in the friend zone for the rest of ur days. Ur choice (kinda)

@Chelsea

@ Moe

I understand all that. Like I said, though, I’m talking strictly physical. Do you just grow bored of her body, of that part? What?

@ Chelsea

I serve refreshments in my Friend Zone. How about you?

ahhh but it involves being celibate, And1. I dont have sex with someone unless i’m really feeling them. It’s not easy for me to find someone that im really attracted to, physically, emotionally and mentally.

@Reina

ha! Im sending my friends to UR friend zone…I aint buying these mofos refreshments!

Lol blaze thank you. I definitely appreciate that you believe me because it gets difficult at times. The other day was just fun. The other ladies had done so and I decided to join in. But this was a huge decision for me to make and am very committed to it.

@ fab & Chelsea

Exactly. I’ve engaged in sex outside relationships in my past lives, but it has always left me unsatisfied. My vibe can give me a quick nut. I want a deeper connection. Someone I want to cuddle with after and not escape from.

@ blaze
I’m offended you dont believe the rest of us (except for Chels n her goose…I kid i kid, Chels)

@ Reina
Refreshments? they lucky…no negro is coming close to me at this moment!

@Chelsea
I can;t be mad at you, even though its still considered being held under hostage until he pays his dues. Them FL cats would have to go through alot WWF matches and mad blue balls before they succeed with you.

@Reina
I don’t think I’ve ever grown tired of a woman who kept her body together physically. I never got tired of having sex with her. If anything, you would get tired of me treating you like a piece of meat!

if anyone read the last post FG made (the one with 7,000,838,343 comments on it) then they know I had someone (with SUPERB pipe-laying skills, mind u) call me last nite for a lil late nite session….but I had to respect myself and my decision and say no becuz he is not even remotely interested in any type of anything outside of putting me to sleep…why do I want to keep putting myself thru that? as much as I needed some sex I need peace of mind and true affection/intimacy much more. No man can give me that.

So I have invested in several ‘bullets’…HA!

Moe in regards to the heart being connected to the funbox that is where I have more testosterone. I have had sex and literally kicked dude out of my house with him to never hear from me again. That was becoming a major issue for me.

@Fabie
I should exclude you but time will tell you as well..lol. We’ve heard from each one of them here about how its a requirement for a man to lay pipes to breaking backs on the regular in pasy posts to saying today that one must be ready for committment and responsibility…a lot mixed messages between one post to the next.

@ Moe

OK. A guy in my office was bragging on his wife and her body and how great she is in other ways, but that he’s quite bored with having sex with her.

@Ms.
It sounds like your problems were deeper than simply having unmeaningful sex on the regular.

“as much as I needed some sex I need peace of mind and true affection/intimacy much more. ”
I sooo agree with that. I have yet to find the man that does it for me. With the last guy that i dated, i truly thought i had found that but uhhh no, didnt work out that way.

@Reina
I have a different view on that. I was taught to view marriage and my wife with a completely different mindset. I won’t get into it here…because ya’ll didn’t come here for a sermon. I can’t see myself getting tired of having sex with my wife if she’s trying to be the best person she can be.

Moe you are definitely right. I was using sex and weed as a means to escape other issues and problems in my life rather than dealing with them I self medicated with THC and orgasms.

Moe I want to hear what you have to say

@ Moe

Another example: runway shows. I’ve watched audience members whose head remains on a swivel. He’ll chase one girl until he gets her number, and then he forgets about her and chases the next. When the first girl passes him again, he’s no longer impressed.

Is it just the thrill of the chase and/or greed?

@Reina
I said this in a previous post…the best piece of ass to a man is the newest piece of ass.

@Ms.
I knew there was more to the story.

@ Moe

Please. You lecture me often. Don’t stop now.

I understand, Blaze. I know for me, things depend on how deeply i’m feeling the person. Maybe that’s why you see it as mixed messages. Does that make sense? a lil bit? lol

@blaze

ur right…my ‘man’ needs to be a pipe-laying animal…he needs to keep me satisfied orally and he damn sure better be making me sweat and pass out afterwards. But he needs to be my MAN…the man committed to me…loves me…knows that with sex with me comes evrything else…ALL of Chelsea, not just the Chelsea that has excellent coochie control, but the Chelsea that is very spoiled and has bad days and isn’t all that cute when she’s slounging around the house on Sundays.

@ blaze

Why?

@Reina
It’s both. Like a kid in a candy store with a pocket full of money.

@Fabie
I feel ya….on the real a woman wants to invest towards that mental connection first, which should be the foundation of a relationship. When I’m really diggin a lady on the mental tip and my goal is to take it to the next level, I have no problem with waiting until she’s ready.

blaze please note that you are rare.

sidenote: where is blackfujones?

@ blaze
No offense to you but I feel that guys always say they’re willing to wait until we are ready when most of them have somebody else on the side!!

@Riena and Ms Miss
I know that sounded like an ignorant statement but that’s the truth, I probably should have said it a little more eloquently. Men love being on that chase for a new jawn…that unconquered territory. But eventually that one does come along and gets us wide open. Thats what we need to school you all on…how to become that one.

very true fabie. and we have discussed that before. can we be mad at a guy that he is willing to wait for our goods but is stabbing at some other chicks funbox?

@blaze

how to ‘become’ that one? dang…me being me aint enough? I’ll pass….

well blaze, school me.

Oh boy. *removes my tie and puts on my Preacher’s collar*

@Reina & Ms.
To keep it brief…refer to Ephesians 5. In a nutshell..Jesus loved the church (His Bride) so much He gave His life for her. He submitted to the church (His Bride)..even though He was more powerful. He simply didn’t have to, but He did it anyway. As a husband, God expects me to treat my wife with the same love and respect that Jesus showed for His Bride. If men followed this blueprint, the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high. By doing the things for your wife that God expects you to do, it will make her WANT to do the things that she’s supposed to do. If I submit to make my wife happy, she will submit to me make me happy.

@ Moe

After that, my smile is definitely for you. And it’s huge!

@Fabie
That is true, I can’t lie, it is hard to be patient at times. But some women have seductive ways to make a cat feel he has a chance to break u down on any given night. I remeber this shorty had me coming thru on the regular, let me get closer and closer…one week turned into 3 months but I kept trying…but at the same time I had to committ to more and more to get at. That chase is a mf’er..ya’ll don’t know what we;ve been through..

* raises hand* me too, blaze…Ready to learn!

@ Moe
AMEN!! Now you sir are rare! Truthfully, how many men even know this? Who is teaching them that?? NO ONE!

awww forget my bible at home today…

I think we went over that in church last sunday Moe.

I learned this about 2 years ago. That’s why I can’t marry just anyone…because I can’t do that for just anyone.

@ Moe

I think it’s very encouraging (not that I was ever discouraged) to know that there are men still existing with such a honorable and quixotic view of women. I applaud you loads.

@Reina
Thank You!

@Moe
Thats real talk…well said bruh

@Blaze
Thanks Bruh

@Chelsea
I have cool homegirl you remind me of just based on your situation and how u view men.

@ Moe

Sheesh. I think I’m out of questions. Let me think…

@Reina
It’s a beautiful smile too…

Reina looks like a geek with that grin

@ Moe

I hope you find a woman that will appreciate you.

**went back to lurking **

@V
Thanks…me too!

@ Moe

Gracias, senor. I do have a question. We’ve talked about us all carrying baggage from past relationship. And I’ll say most people, myself included, are damaged goods. What’s the line b/w a man being understanding and intolerable? Did that make sense?

@blaze

and how is that?

@ Ms.

I am a nerd, not a geek.

@Reina
De Nada. I think it comes down to whether or not you’re sincerely trying to change and improve yourself, or if you’re just going through the motions with no real desire to change. We’ve all been through something in our lives that effect the way we perceive things today. An understanding person will recognize this, and give you the time you need to work on you. But even the most understanding person will lose patience with someone who is unwilling to change…someone who refuses to let go of that baggage.

@Chelsea
She has so much potential to meet the dude she’s looking for but she thrives off being unapproachable.

@blaze

ever asked her why and listened to her reasoning?

but honestly…who says I/we want to meet someone right now? or even in the next year? or 2?

We’ll go out and next thing she’s cussing some cat out who was just trying to introduce himslef…said he was invading her space.

I thought y’all was playing with the not having a job, needing attention, etc. etc. I should have learned with the last couple of posts going over 400.

Anywho, I would like to be included in the Celibate club. Check my previous posts, I am a proud member. And celibate for me means no sex, period. Which is VERY difficult, especially since there is this nice, young, throwaway (great for a good time, notsomuch for longterm) dude that is basically begging to be schooled. Sigh, that’s just the devil testing my resolve.

Oops, sorry about that. That was my “Sasha,” or as Beyonce put it, my more daring alter ego that I forgot to tie up in the closet this morning.

I’m baaaack

THROWAWAY!?!

Priceless!!!

Chelsea
2 years huh? U need that much time before you’re ready? Too much personality IMO…

throwaway!?

Wow…I’ve heard of “stragglers” but throwaways lol

@ Moe

Hmm. I’m in complete agreement. The most important thing you said was an “understanding” person. Most people, both genders, are not. We all desire this perfection, and no one will ever achieve the unachievable.

It’s one of the reasons that I drag my feet when committing to someone. You should get to know who I am because no one lies all their cards out on the table upfront. Well, maybe some do, but i don’t. My baggage doesn’t rule my actions, but it’s definitely present.

@blaze

no,I dont need 2 yrs, but that goes back to what i said i think yesterday. Becuz Im a woman who’s been hurt and now chooses to stay away from relationships and focus on living this young adult life and move forward in my career, I’m side-eyed and lectured.

If i was a guy saying ‘eff these b**ches, I’m stacking this cash’ I’d be patted on the back and thrown a party and deemed a bachelor of all bachelors

@ Just a Thought
U did not just say Throwaway!! LOL What is your goal? Do you have a time period or until you meet the person you feel is right for you?

@blaze

and maybe homeboy was in her space…nothing like some loser tryna lay his game down while u vibing and chillin with your crew

Throwaways? LOL. I’m definitely putting that in my glossary.

@Chelsea
I agree with you…

Here is my question…

Ladies and Gentlemen:

What matters most to you in a relationship? There is a disagreement going on and I need to hear what you all think.

@Reina
I heard a saying a long time ago: There’s no such thing as a clean deal.

No one is perfect…no relationship is going to be perfect. So that’s why I had to learn to be patient when dealing with women’s issues. Some people embrace their issues because that’s all they know. They’re comfortable with them. A good example is when a woman with a history of abusive relationships subconsciously prefers a drama filled relationship over a normal one..normal is outside of her comfort zone…that’s not what she knows.

As long as you recognize the fact you have baggage, and are taking steps to eliminate it…I’m okay.

@Nisha
The first thing for me is to know whats important to the other person in a relationship so I can build on it continiuosly. I also like a woman with a healthy spirit..

@ Moe

You are on the money with that! Patience is the key…

@ Blaze

true. You both have to be on the same page.

@blaze

I appreciate that

@ Nisha
What matters the most to me is how the person treats me. My motto is “Treat others as you’d like to be treated”. Im not looking for someone who is perfect, no one is but i want someone that is trying as hard as i am to make it work.

@ Moe

Some baggage can’t be eliminated. It shouldn’t be allowed to rule your life nor should it be used as a convenient excuse. But some will not go away.

@ Nisha

My answer is honesty.

@ Fab

I love it! I always say that…learned that in church growing up, do unto others…

@ Reina

That is very important to me. I have a hard time trusting ppl. I am always hoenst upfront but when you start being dishonest I pull that thing back.

@ Moe
You are so right when you give that example. It’s like if you were in a relationship where drama was constant, you will act a certain way in your next relationship even if its everything you want. You might “stir the pot” just because drama is all that you know. You do so by looking for things that are not there, saying things, basically making up things that entice drama.
I hope that makes sense.

@Reina
I agree. But like you said, just don’t let it take over your life. Some wounds are deep, and will never heal completely.

@Nisha
I had to learn patience. It didn’t come naturally.

My thought process used to be: Take as much time as you need…just make it quick! LOL

@ Nisha
It’s sooooooo simple yet people especially MEN do NOT get it. A lot of people lack the ability to put themselves in someone’s shoes and think about how their actions, words affect somebody else.

@ Chelsea — If i was a guy saying ‘eff these b**ches, I’m stacking this cash’ I’d be patted on the back and thrown a party and deemed a bachelor of all bachelors…

That’s different…you’re a girl!

LOL — JUST KIDDING (sort of)

Hey everyone…

@Fab
It makes a lot of sense. I got to experience someone like that once.

NC – Not Cool

I’ll have to say Honesty also. I can’t stand liars.

@fab

That’s my motto also. People have been telling me lately I am too nice, but I can’t change that. Some day someone will learn not to take advantage of my kindness.

@ Nisha

Exactly. I don’t trust easily and I’m a skeptic. And I also have a Ft. Knox type memory. I’d rather you just plead the fifth than lie to me. I may not let you get away with pleading the fifth, but you can do it. LOL And I won’t lie to you. Mainly because I’m lazy. Lying requires more energy than I care to expend.

@fab

Are we related? lol You may be my twin lol. Some MEN just get it or choose not to. If the shoe was on the other foot would you like this or that? is always my thing. I know I have my moments when I can be a brat but then I check myself.

@ Moe

Thanks. I’m good with mine luggage, though. I’m aware it’s there, and I’ll never forget its presence. And I can say that I’ve yet to meet a guy that ran and/or reacted negatively.

Hi Preston.

“And I won’t lie to you. Mainly because I’m lazy. Lying requires more energy than I care to expend.” — Amen!!

I also don’t lie because I SUCK at it. Pops always told me to stay away from things I’m no good at.

@ Preston

What else are you no good at? You know, just for conversational purposes?

@Reina
You can turned baggaged into lessons learned. I believe you have to go through the rough times/negative relationships to really learn to appreciate the right ones when they come along.

I can’t draw, paint or make things out of clay…

My meager artistic abilities end at my writing skills…sadly.

@ Nisha
LOL and i c that u live in MD, albeit in some part that i dont know but MD nonetheless. I also live in MD, about 7-10 min from DC.
back on topic: I think that some men choose to when THEY want to. I dont know what holds them back but they cannot be blind or deaf to what effects their actions have.

** turn baggage into lessons learned

@ Blaze

Oh definitely

@Tubbs, Lmao…yea u can really see the curls with that one, ur so silly

@Reina
Time will take care of that baggage you have. I got hurt two yrs ago and thought I would never let go of what happened. But in time I realized that I needed to go through that. Now there’s a young lady out there one day that’ll benefit from what I learned

@ Preston

Those are the ONLY things you’re bad at? Nice.

Now answer the post.

@Reina
I’ll send you my bill! LOL

@ blaze
“You can turn baggage into lessons learned”
If only it was so easy! That is soooo hard to do: not let your baggage get in the way of NOW..carry the lesson with you but leave the past behind.

are children baggage?

@ Blaze

Would almost 6 yrs qualify as enough time? I don’t have an issue with it, and I haven’t met a guy that has. It’s just there. It doesn’t rule my life, doesn’t dictate my decisions. It has definitely taught me a lesson & opened my eys, and I’ve grown from it.

@ Ms.

LOL No.

@Fabie
You have to be close in my vicinity.

In regards to the difficulty of turning baggage into lessons learned….you need more time, thats all. I took me every bit of two years. The worse thing I did was moving right into a “rebound” situation and that wasn’t fair to that particular young lady.

I have a question folks. Do you believe in divorce?

@Reina — demanding today, huh?

……I LIKE IT……..

I’ve had to put it very plain for an ex-girlfriend before. It literally took hours and there were a lot of tears. The roles have never been reversed. When it comes to certain things…I am not a fighter.

This is one of them.

If you want to leave me…I’ll never stop you. It will hurt…but I can live through it. What I can’t live with is knowing that I talked you into loving me…or that I talked you into staying…

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it…I’m just not built that way.

@Reina
IMO 6 years is too much time needed. U might have to go to the root fo the problem and meet it head on. Not knowing the details, u still need to have a few more conversations or a better understanding from the other person involved…again my opininion no knowing the details.

@ preston…

Damn! I love that
If you want to leave me…I’ll never stop you. It will hurt…but I can live through it. What I can’t live with is knowing that I talked you into loving me…or that I talked you into staying…

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it…I’m just not built that way.

@ reina.

Thats why you are my sista from another mista

@ Preston

I don’t have it in me to ever beg someone to stay with me. Or even ask after he tells me he’s leaving. Please, by all means, be on your merry way.

damn, so no one is going to answer my question…

@ Blaze

I haven’t needed 6 years. Six years have just passed. LOL

@ Nisha — Thank you. See…it really is my only (meager) talent…

@ Reina — I had a feeling we’d be EXACTLY THE SAME when it came to this…just a hunch.

@ reina and preston

Like I said yesterday

“there are no shackles on you sir, if you want to leave then leave but do not think you can come back and have access to my heart or the sugarwalls.”

Ok I did not say the last part yesterday but I had to do it lol.

@ Ms.

I’m on the fence about divorce. I think it’s too easy of an out, but sometimes, you may need to leave. However, I just started believing in marriage so I’m still processing.

@ Nisha

It’s because we’re both New York ladies.

Ms. Miss — I’m going to try to avoid divorce…right after I stop avoiding marriage. But yeah, I believe in it…

@ Nisha

Sugarwalls? That just brought tears to my eyes. LMAO

@ Miss.

I do not believe in divorce unless there is abuse.

I think that vow for better or for worse is cemented. That is it. Once I marry someone I am in it to win it. Marriage is totally different.

@ Miss

I don’t believe in divorce, as I mentioned in today’s post that I am willing to work things out, IF things can be worked out. But I won’t stay in a situation which is unhealthy for me either.

@ reina

Yes mama! sugarwalls! lmao. Dont think you are going to leave but try to come back because you want to partake in that good thing…lmao.

In my 24 yrs of living there is only one marriage that hs made me believe in the idea of marriage. My aunt and uncle. They have had ups and downs but you never heard any shouting matches and no word on infidelity. They are in it to win it and I love that. They have a bond that I admire.

@ Nisha

I’ve been told that ex-lovers make the best bootycalls. This is, of course, secondhand information because I do not travel backwards.

The reason I bring it up is because a lil while back ago we were talking about the issue of infidelity or other relationship problems being unforgivable and ending a relationship/marriage because of it. Black and a few others said that after you have vested _________ amount of time into a relationship you should try to work things out. I know that some couples even talk about the consequences of cheating which to me either tells me you are thinking about cheating, are actively cheating now, or cheated. Regular ole relationships are so easy to get in and out of but those vows, mean a lot to me. And like Nisha said the only way I could divorce is if there is abuse (including substance) that changes the quality of life for me and my daughter significantly. I just wonder if people go in knowing they can’t get out.

@Nisha
Now there you go holding that thang hostage like Chelsea.

Blaze if we give it away like flyers about some bs club event we would look like cheap whores.

@ Ms.

If I marry, I’m in it. Heart, mind, soul. Unselfishly, egoless. I’m all in. I take my exclusive relationships unashamedly serious, and I’ll enter marriage bound and determined.

@ Ms. Miss — True! Dave Chappelle said it best. (i’m paraphrasing) but p*ssy is like a stock. We all do better when the price is higher. When it plummets and the market gets flooded, it’s not a good thing…

@Ms. Miss — “If I marry, I’m in it. Heart, mind, soul. Unselfishly, egoless. I’m all in. I take my exclusive relationships unashamedly serious, and I’ll enter marriage bound and determined.”

*shrugs* yeah…what she said.

lol…nah i’m just playin. I pray to never be divorced. My parents just hit 30 years. I’m tryin to be like them. Do it once and get it right…

@ Preston

The market’s been flooded since women burned their bras.

lmao.

@Reina — Good point. I’m a choosy shopper though…

@ blaze

so if the brotha decides to leave and then says sike…I want to come back girl! it’s ok to let him partake in the goodness that is the sugarwalls? nah! no way lol.

Ummm ummm His access will be denied. lmao. His credit is not good here lol.

So let’s say your husband or wife of 4 years has recently confessed that they have had 4 extramarital affairs. What do you do?

@Nish @ Ms

Yes and Yes

Blaze why do you believe in divorce? Explain good sir.

@Nish
That should be cash only..lol. Credit for that? WTF?

@ Ms.

I say bye.

@ Preston

As should everyone. It’s the dumb broads giving away sub-prime loans that have lowered the value. However, I’m like Manhattan. What the rest of the nation does has no effect on my market value. If anything, it increases.

But wait Reina, I thought you were all in to make it work? Bound and determined?

Ms Miss
My bad sweety, I was answering a different question. I definitely dont believe in divorce but it’s necessary at times because people grow a part, each person may have married for different reasons then their SO. Things Fall Apart..Sometimes relationships get ill…no doubt.Thats human nature. I think more people are caught with the ‘idea’ of marriage than doing it for the right reasons.

@ reina…def manhattan!

@ ms. I’m with reina I am about making it work but damn 4? you are out your mind brother.

@ Ms.

Yeah, when I said all that, I wasn’t referring to cheating. Cheating is a dealbreaker to me.

@Ms.
The only time I would consider divorce an option is if my wife cheated on me. Other than that, I’m all in.

I’m putting contingencies in my vows and the marriage contract.

I dont believe that divorce should be the very last step. Now i dont know if i would say the same thing if my HUSBAND cheated on me but when u make a vow, you should stand ready to honor it. Life brings many changes and one should deal with them accordingly!

so moe & reina. hubby or wifey picks up a nasty drug addiction. you still in?

@ Miss

Are they telling me this because they believe they want to change and never do this again…work to build the trust up…or are they telling me this because they don’t believe they can stop. If it’s the latter, i will be now suffereing emotional abuse if I stay and will have to file for a divorce.

@Reina
I’m glad u finally learned how to appraise property from just a couple of weeks ago…..lol. (I knew you liked my analogy)

oops…meant to say I believe!

@ reina

yeah cheating is def a no-no. You have comeplete access if you feel the need to go elsewhere then BYE! I have no tolerence for those type of shenanigans!

@ Ms.

Yes. I will hold his hand, attend his meetings, and support him with all I have. However, everyone has a breaking point. If he continues to backslide and not put complete effort into recovery, I will chunk the duece.

@ blaze
U stay in DC? I actually work in DC!

@ Blaze

LOL My appraisal ability hasn’t changed. I was aware of my value then.

@Ms.
I would try to help her. I wouldn’t abandon her if she was crying out for help. But if she’s selling everything in the house to feed her addiction…with no remorse…I have to let her go. I couldn’t let her destroy both of us. I know I said I was all in, and I truly mean that. But there are limits to everything.

@Fabie
No doubt…how long u been here? Im sure you’re coming out for this weekend festivities?

@ Nisha

Exactly. If you’re going to cheat, you will have complete access. I’m not going to check your phone. I’m not going to sit outside in an unmarked car. LOL Do what you will. But when I find out and I will, adios.

I also think it depends on one’s threshold: what one is willing to put up with. When you have reached that no-return point, nothing will affect how you feel about that person..NOTHING . Not them promising not to do it again, not them locking themselves in the house to prevent temptation…NADA! When you’re tired of something mentally, its a wrap.

Why is almost everyone in this place from DC? FG is from Atlanta. The internet is creepy.

Are monogamous relationships a thing in the past?

@ blaze
Believe it or not, I’m not. 1) Im going out of town 2) I really dont get out much. Ive lived in MD for 8 years now and still havent done HU homecoming!

@ Blaze

No.

lmao.

Us Ny girls have to stick together lol. what part of ny are you from reina

@Fabie
We’ll get up in due time. I know Moe and Nisha is out here too so we’ll have to kick it one weekend

MY 1ST HU HOMECOMING. WHOOO HOOO

Manhattan, Upper West

@ Blaze that would be cool…just dont laugh because I am coming from cockeysville lol

@ Reina
lol Where do you live? It is kinda strange that ive talked to more ppl from DMV area than i regularly talk to.

@ reina! ok mama!

Is it friday yet ? lol

@ blaze

No. Seems silly but I’ve even been faithful to a guy I wasn’t in a relationship with.

@Reina
There’s a site called EVip List owned by a dude in DC that posts FG’s article’s every week. That’s how I found the site anyway.

@Reina
The misconnection between men and women is growing wider and wider. Our genders are on two different pages…and it’s not getting any better. I’m about to find my wifey soon and get up out this crazy game on the real

@ fab

NYC is where I reside and slave.

@ nisha
Cockeysville huh? uhhh what exit is that? Sounds like its in the boonies!
@ blaze
Moe is from around here too? cool! DMV Unite!!! LOL

Am I the only one west coastin??

*looks around*

V – telling you because they want to move past it and continue with a future with you.

blaze – I think finding a person that wants to be monogamous is harder and harder each day. especially with people that dont think certain actions are cheating.

reina & moe – commendable.

Well goodnite everyone. It was nice to finally take part in the discussion.

Later Vee!

@ Blaze

I disagree. As much as I voice my disappointment with the male sex, I’ve been amazed by just as many of y’all. I have met men with the same values as me, with the same hopes & dreams, with an acumen/mentality that’s inspiring. I haven’t given up hope, and if I’ve ever wanted to, I remember my Dad. He showed me what a man can be and would be, so I’ll stick around for a little longer.

@Ms.
I believe in marriage… committment, patience, understanding, love. For me, divorce becomes an option only when abuse enters the picture (be it mental, physical, emotional).

IMO, habitual cheating falls under emotional abuse…

Nite, Vee!
@ Reina
Slave huh? I can relate!
@ Preston
Where are you?

@ Preston

Yes, you’re the only masochist that willingly lives in Cali.

@Reina
Im serious, look at the differences our gender have on the regular. There are good women and men but the ability to make that initial connection is becoming more difficult.

@ Blaze

True. But I dreamed about unicorns and sunshine and rainbows last night so I can’t be pessimistic. I’m full of optimism today. Audaciously hopeful.

preston i’m in seattle

@Preston…I’m west coast as well.

@ Blaze…no, they are not a thing of the past.

@Reina
Good deal. Being optimistic is important, I believe that “one” can come around the corner at any given time.

Well Peeps…I’m about to head out for the day. Have a good night…Peace!

@ Blaze

Exactly. I actually think I’m being blindsided currently, but that’s a topic for another day.

@ Moe
See ya later!
Tomorrow is Friday, ppls!! yay!

PS: What happened to Chelsea??

@Reina
U too? We might have to compare notes in a few weeks.

@Moe

Have a good one bruh…I’m out as well fam.

@ blaze
U’re so right…especially for women in this area. I’m just about to give up on finding the “one” and just have a child.

knowing Chelsea…either in some attractive guys face talking him up for something he will never receive or….

hmmmm lemme think….

got nothing. lol

Maybe.

@Fabie
In this area? I have quite a few single guys looking for a good woman. They feel as if women here are too independent. Just let me know, I got you..

i’m outtie 5000 too.
deuces. peace love and hair grease (though I don’t use it)

@Reina
I’ll keep you up to speed but its promising.

@ Ms
LOL I was about to say!! Lata!

@ blaze
I’m kinda skeptical but hmmm you dont say? lol

Peace Fabie, Ms, Reina

Holla at you all tomorrow…I want b-day wishes first thing in the morning.

oh blaze how old are you going to be?

Ure a libra too? hellz yes!! yay!!!
U should will get some, blaze!!

typo: sure*

Everyone’s gone? Boo for you people. I have 20 mins.

meh i’m still here. i am having a healthy snack but oreos are calling my name.

I’m still here…at home now tho lol

Oh. So why the questions about marriage? What’s going through your mind?

@ fab

That’s a cute pic.

I’m back…
cute pic fab

reina I see you with your no waist having self lol.

@ Nisha
Thanks, twin! LOL is the new one showing?

@ fab

Yeah

@ Reina
Gracias!

@ Nisha

I had to eat a lot of chocolate for this waist.

LOL is that what it takes, Reina? what kinda chocolate r u eating? hmmm

@ reina

If that’s what it takes then sign me up lol.

Please. You both look fine.

@ fab

This week, it’s been Kit Kats. Last week, it was fudge marble cake.

I’m gonna have to complain to my boss that work is getting in the way of my checking this site.

lol i’m not a fan of chocolate but u sure are eating it for the rest of us! Anything i eat goes straight to my hips *sad face*

@ Reina — Masochist…lol? It has it downside…but holla at me in december when ur wading through snow and I’m chillin in Manhattan Beach!

*stops to picture you in bikini*

…yeah…holla at me THEN! =)

@ And1, you really should! Official letter at that! lol

@Fab — I’m in LA

@ Preston- LA huh? cool! I need to travel more.

@ fab

Yeah, my pelvic area carries all my weight. That’s why I crop the pictures. LOL And I am addicted to chocolate. I fess up to that. If they told me that continue to eat it would kill me within a week, I really would have to give it serious thought.

@ Preston

Holla at me the next time a wildfire or mudslide hits your area. That means you’ll be hollering at me on Monday, huh?

@ Reina
HAHAHA i love my curves, i really do but im cropping the bottoms of my pics too. Aha!

LOL Winter’s coming. I’m about to gain more than my share of curves because I eat comfort food every day. All day.

The opposite happens to me. I gain weight during the summer n lose during the winter. prolly cuz i get really cozy at home n dont leave the house except for work and classes. When its cold, u wont find me outside, uh uh!!

During the summer, I have too much energy so I’m always outside being active somehow. During the winter, I don’t get to exercise b/c I hate the gym and it’s cold. So I eat and watch Desperate Housewives. When February comes around, I’ve gained a few pounds.

DH? I love that show! i missed last sunday
do men go through those cycles, u think? wondering about gaining weight n all that great stuff…lol

No because we’ll love their soft-bellied behinds regardless.

UGH so right! will they love our soft-bellied behind tho?? (clearly ure not included)

LOL Well, now, I can’t answer b/c I’m not included.

How soft we talkin?

HAPPY BDAY, BLAZE!!!!

happy birdthay blaze…

Hey Nisha, how u doing this morning?

Thanks Fabie & Nisha! Whats up with you all today?

You’re welcome, blaze! important question is what are U doing today?
Me? Will be driving to Connecticut for the weekend tonite with mom and sis to see the rest of the fam…not looking forward to the drive but it is what it is!

@Fabie
I have a few sets to hit up tonight and a few of my people want to get at me so it should be a long night. Got to be cool though because I’m in a wedding tomorrow afternoon.

You have a nice drive in front of you. What part of CT?

Break that down for the immigrant please LOL. Whats a few sets? U’re a musician…dont laugh!
U’re in a wedding? cool. Where is that taking place?
We’re going to Stamford. we also have fam in Stratford too. Haitians taking over CT!!

good morning folks. Happy birthday Blaze.

New topic coming up shortly

@FG
Thanks bruh!

@Fabie
A few sets mean a few happy hours…parties..etc. If you wasn’t leaving for out of town I would invite you to join us. We have find that Mr. right for you. I like the new pic…I definitely see the carribean look. I see you switch it up on different levels. Do you still have a thick accent?

Well, i’m really not the party type but appreciate the invite. I go out on special occasions only
This pic was taken when i went to haiti this summer for two WHOLE weeks…yes, WEEKS! lol
Ive been here for about 11 years so the accent is there but not too thick.

@Fabie
So what type are you?

Its party time!

I’m the type that goes to work, school and straight home…boring life i know. Especially when it gets cold, you will find me at home, tv on and on my laptop!
What about you?

OK….I play sports and work out all week after work and on the weekends.

@Nisha
I think everybody up in here lurking until a new topic comes out.

work out huh? i should try that one day lol

@ fab yeah me too… but from time to time I get roped in to party. lol

@blaze

Yeah I am waiting for a new one. I know the convo is going to go in another direction and I have a few questions I have for the group lol

@Nisha
Im sure you have something interesting to ask..

Feliz Cumpleaños, Blaze!

Hi Nisha, Fab.

Hola Reina.

Hi Reina!
You have anything planned for the weekend?

Um…sleep. And work. That’s about it.

Thanks Reina.

@ blaze…

I mean they are questions that I am sure have been answered but they are on my mind.

New post, ladies and gentlemen!!

I am experiencing this right now in my life…as a matter of fact as I am writing this post, he keeps calling and texting me..I don”t know what to do. I am hoping that reading some of these posts will give me some ideas. I have benn trying for about 2 months now…

I am going through the same thing right now. I have an ex from 4 years ago that has a girlfriend and he still calls me and leaves messages on my phone. I have to admit that I still call him sometimes to check up and we are never able to stay friends. I told him that if he calls he I will tell his new girlfriend and he backed off for a while. Its annoying but I just ignore his calls and dont answer the door when he knocks.