Great post. I wish all guys could read this and take notes. In contrast, I’d also love to see ways to attract guys.

What attracts me to a guy is definitely mentioned in #5 - having a life. It’s intriguing to know that a guy has a great life on his own, through work, family, hobbies, traveling, etc. and that he’s looking for a woman to add to his life but he doesn’t necessarily need her. Makes me want him even more.

What repels me? Definitely not acting gentlemanly - swearing in your everyday vocabulary, excessive drinking, smoking, making racist remarks, etc.

Repellants include (but not limited to): Being OVERLY aggressive, incessantly obsessing over sex, being a “yes” man (pushover) and unkempt fingernails!

What first attracted me to my man was his smile, eyes, nice hands, he LOVES to laugh, MOST IMPORTANTLY: His strong sense of self and his heart. It also helped that he works out 5 days a week
;-)

@Wes,

Yeah, it shouldn’t be the end all be all, but people vastly underestimate the importance of keeping yourself up physically. It literally helps in all aspects of your life.

A lot of women are attractive to how a man interacts with other people and how much repsect he gives, manners and overall how you relate and find commonality with others.

My biggest downfall at times is being passive at the wrong time trying not to appear is if i’m “sweating” her rather than letting it be known I’m really diggin her. Showing that indifferent attitude can be a plus and minus when trying to attract women.

Being confident and having a sense of humor has gotten me a lot of attention. Being a challenge also plays a major part. IMO women don’t want a man they can control. They want a man who will stand his ground, and not do everything the woman tells him to do. Women are constantly testing us to see if they’re dealing with a real man or not. And even after you pass the initial tests, they will continue to test you for the life of the relationship.

@FG
No you didn’t put the DD article out there!

@T-Moe,

lol…yeah he has some good stuff from time to time. Figured I’d share the wealth.

@FG
You can’t be putting everybody up on game…that’s what sets us apart! LOL

@T-Moe,

LOL…my bad bruh. Guess I broke the man law code.

I think he forgot to add ‘Make Her Laugh’…that shoulda been #1-10 IMO. A guy that can make me laugh is definitely worth investigating further. He doesn’t have to rival Steve Harvey or the late great Bernie Mac but he has to show me that he doesn’t take life as serious as a funeral.

Lightheartedness, laughter and being laid-back wins me over everytime.

I think I agree with all except No. 7. I’m not a fan of indifference or playing it cool. If you’re interested in me, make it known and don’t put on a façade with me. My reaction will be to continue on to the next. Words are nothing without actions.

I’m attracted to a guy’s confidence. It’s in his eyes, his stance, his communication. Genuineness attracts me. A man who is he is and feels no need for pretense. There is a fine line b/w confidence and cockiness, and I’m not attracted to the later.

What repels me: A guy who behaves as if he’s doing me a favor by giving me his attention. Unless I approached you (and that never happens), I’m giving you my attention, not the other way around.

@ blaze - yeah, that’s a hard line to walk. Women do it too. Don’t want to scare the guy off and have him think you’re already planning the wedding when in reality you just really like him and just want to see him and hear his voice more often. I know there are women out there that already have the dress picked out before even meeting a man, but there’s lots of us who like to just go with the flow too, but we always get misinterpreted.

@T-moe — humor is a HUGE thing for most girls. If you can relate with comedy, you’re golden. And sense of humor is different for everyone, and you’d think it wasn’t important but it really is. Some girl whose not into dry sarcastic humor would constantly get offended if their man is always watching Family Guy. Won’t work. And about the control thing — it’s that whole thing about women not wanting a man that’s ’soft’ = pushover, ‘yes’ man… That’s fun for like 5 minutes then we resent you for not having a life and a mind of your own.

I think as a man you do have to have that indifferent or take or leave it attitude. We all have choices, and remember the some areas the ratio is 10-1. Again not that women should settle for that, but as a man once we approach you and let it be known we’re interested…we should be able to step back and play it cool because we did our part. As a man we go after we we’re interested and some men are attractive to a women who goes after what she prefers like she does with a career. She should do the same with a man. That shows confidence and thats attractive coming from a woman.

@ Reina — OH YES, I totally agree. I get so annoyed with that playing it cool stuff. Nobody’s thinking you’re all strung out because you call first. Or, is it an ego trip that you’re playing cool so the girls will be pressing up on you? Cuz that’s not cute either. I don’t have time for that, and I’m not competing with other chicks. You either like me or you don’t.

@ blaze — that’s funny, because I know many men who are turned off by that agressive woman. If she’s always making the moves, he just sits back, lets her do it (cuz he’s not gonna turn down a chance at a piece), but in his mind he’s already chasing someone else. And the minute she stops, he will just let it die. ‘Sup with that?

@Songbird
Its not that your competing with other chicks but the dating proces is getting to know several people and eventually selecting that one you have the most common with. Some women think once you start dating it means exclusivity.

I know women that date are getting to know other dudes but I all I can do it put my best foot forward and not worry about the other cats. But in essense it is a competition for someones attention- remember we all have choices.

@Songbird
I totally agree but thats that fine line you said before. Lets be real, in a ideal world we should be able to be upfront and let it be known. Unfortunately dating is a game, we’re all trying to get that leverage without playing ourselves. As a man we do like the chase, so as a women read #6. Keep him guessing and let it be known you have options…miss a few calls, dont be so available even if you are at the crib chillin. We do like a lil chase. Shouldn’t be that way but I’m just speaking off of experience.

@Songbird
I read something once where the author talked about negative and positive challenges in relation to dating. He stated the “bad boy” types fell into the negative challenge category. Women are attracted to them because they can’t control them, but they normally end up getting hurt because of the other less than desirable attributes they bring to the table. The so called nice guys bring a lot of positives to the table, but many of them lack the abiilty to stand their ground when put to the test by women. The positive challenge was the man who could balance the positive attributes along with the ability to man-up when necessary. Based on the complaints I hear from women, there’s not enough PCs out there.

I’m going to have to agree with Reina…7 won’t work. Unreturned phone call = me moving on. I’d rather not play games like that.

#9….in moderation. Don’t really want another father.

#6 is SO important. I had a guy tell me his entire life and everything about him…called every day…even sent pictures of the peen. Interest waned REAL fast…ick

#5 is important…but the way it’s worded is a little interesting…I’m not going to convince anyone that they need me in their life…or that they need to make me one of their priorities. If I’m not one, then moving right along…

#3 too…for me the thoughtful things come once you earn it…not the other way around.

@ Songbird & Blaze

All of that would get lost in translation with me. When I’m interested in a guy, I never play it cool. Of course, my pride makes me hesitate because I don’t want to run him off, but I will let you know I’m interested and do things to reinforce it daily. If a guy says he’s interested and then steps back and behaves as if I’m inconsequential, I’m going to begin to doubt his interest. Just be you and be corny.

If I’m not interested, I’ll let you know and not let you waste your time. If I am interested and you are, then let’s behave that way.

Is there going to be a 10 ways to attract any man too?

@blaze - that part I get, the dating other people. But it’s the “I’ve got such low self esteem that I’m just gonna sit back and let these broads duke it out for me… one who calls the most and sleeps me with the quickest gets me for the moment… till the next broad does it”. I’ve met many a men who act like they’re god’s gift and I should be honored he’s even speaking to me. Uh… no. But life isn’t like those dating reality shows - I’m not going to put myself out there in a way that’s not me just because I want to win that round.

@Reina
I def agree with you, but its so much easier for you to position yourself after he already put himself out there. Try approaching a guy first and let him kmow your interested and see how things would get flipped and you’ll see it from our angle.

@ Moe

I completely agree with whatever articule that was. I’ve never dated a “bad boy” because I find nothing attractive about having to make drastic changes to a man for him to be whom I want. I also don’t want a guy who cowtows to me. Have a backbone, say no. Make me put in work. I like a nice balance between the two, and you’re right. There aren’t many in existence.

On a lot of levels I HATE the games that we must play in order to date people and win them over. When I feel like picking up the phone to call a guy thats been on my mind all morning, I do it (well…I text him or IM him). If a guy calls me 5 times a day I don’t think he’s being thirsty…I think I’m THAT damn addictive.

Playing the game is so frustrating. All the rules annoy me. I read that book ‘The Rules’ a few years ago and it pissed me off. These 10 annoy me too…no disrespect. Why are we not capable of just ebing ourselves and behaving however our emotions direct us too? If you wanna call me, CALL ME! I we went out yesterday and you wanna go see ANOTHER movie with me tonite, then let’s do it! Stop trying to ACT suave and debonair when you’re really a goofy Boondocks-quoting guy who would rather hang with me then be all ‘in control’ at home by your damn self…I don’t mind that. At least you’re being real…

@ blaze

Oh, I can imagine the difficulty & hesitancy & uncertainty guys face when it comes to approaching women. No one wants to be rejected. I admire you guys for having the resiliency to keep putting yourself out there in such a way.

I’m just not into games and pretenses. I hate with much passion the movie “Two Can Play The Game.” Be honest, communicate, and let me know whom I’m dealing with.

@Songbird
No doubt. Just like women, there are men out there who are attention whores..they need multiple women calling just to feel wanted. I can have and do have numerous women calling but if none of them are grabbing my attention on the level im looking for it doesn’t matter.

@ladies

Have any of you read or heard of that book written by the 2 psychiatrist women (I think) from the early 90’s or so? Ellen Fein and like Sharon somebody…

*puts her hand in the air towards Chelsea and starts humming hymns and rocking

Totally agree

@Reina
Most men don’t see anything wrong with letting the woman have her way. But that’s where they mess up. The ones who don’t know any better don’t see a problem with letting you have your way most of the time. They don’t care where you go for dinner because as long as there’s food there…he’s happy. They find it easier to ask you where you want to go in order to guarantee you’ll like the spot. They don’t realize they’re coming off like a wuss.

@ Chelsea

Nah. I’ve heard about it.

@ Chelsea - totally agree. I’m guessing that what holds people back isn’t so much the “rules” (although I’ve been told MANY times, “thanks for your # - I’ll call you in 3 days” lol) but their own insecurities and fear of being dismissed. Cuz it totally sucks when you’re into the person, and you do that - call/text all day cuz you’re thinking of them, ask them out for another date before the date you’re on is over, and you get the brush-off. So hold back a little until you see what the other person’s chess move is. I don’t know, the whole thing sucks, really. But it’s a part of dating, gotta deal with it.

@Chelsea
What makes the dating game hard for men is that most women have this unrealistic belief that men are supposed to “just know” how to handle them. Every woman is different, and you don’t come with an instruction manual. And contrary to popular belief…we can’t read your mind. We can only base our actions on our past experiences and what worked and what didn’t. You say you don’t want to play the game. Well for every woman like yourself, there are at least 20 that live and die by it.

@ Songbird

Dating takes a toll. We could take initiative and contact you, but some men don’t like aggression or feel as if we’re trying to be the man in the relationship. So we sit around and wait while men meet the prerequisites of “playing it cool.”

I actually prefer receiving calls after a date. I’ll call him just to say I appreciate the outing and hope we can do it again soon. I don’t mind overly long phone conversations or 200 texts a day. As Chelsea stated, if you want to contact me, do it.

Hmmm…holding back a little is one thing. But compleetly denying your urges and emotions because the ‘rule’ is not to call them until one week after your first date to schedule the second one is ridiculous. When guys wait a week or two between calls, I delete their number. When they FINALLY do roll around to calling, I answer “And who is this again?” and they get offended. I have moved on because you gave me the impression that you were too busy to even hit me with a “been swamped lately…ain’t forgot about ya cutie” text in 21 days! I’m supposed to WAIT and welcome you with open arms after that? No…I have never in my life been too busy (working full-time, school full-time, clubbing, and etc) to not hit up someone I was even mildly interested in. Never. Ain’t that much work and Madden playing in the world, boy.

On the real I think more women miss out on the guys they prefer because they never make the first approach. All men won’t think you’re being overly aggressive if you step to them first and let it be known. We need a few of those from time to time. Just like you want a confident man, we like confident women.

@ Ladies
Why are women so hesitant to make the first move?

@Reina + Chelsea - I’m with both of you… I have unlimited calls/texts on my phone for a reason :P

@ Moe

I wouldn’t consider him a wuss for including my preferences in where we are going. I would think it’s considerate. However, if you asked me out, just don’t show up at my door and ask “So where you wanna go?” No.

@Reina
I agree, that would a little weak. lol

@Blaze

I’ve approached maybe one guy before and I did it in a roundabout ass way by involving my friends and his friends to ‘whisper’ in his ear that I was interested. It got me one date and 3 phone calls and then…nothing. All before then I had the vibe that he was feeling me pretty hard, then I approached him and it went downhill. So…I shy away from that.

-what works for me
-”the confident stride” I’ve been told that I have an air of confidence that’s cocky/yet subtle. You can tell I’m comfy in my own skin and really don’t need your company bc I’m going to have a great time regardless
-being able to dress like a mature man.I’m sorry yall but we have wayyy to many grown azz men dressing as if their still in their teens. Put away the jordans and jerseys and give the woman some eye candy. Nothing spells potential eye candy to a woman than a well dressed man
-last but not least the most important thing…clean nails,fresh breath,clean shoes,and a nice haircut. You’d be surprised how much it makes a woman blush

@ Blaze - because we’re afraid that you’ll only accept our advances because you think we’re a sure thing for making the first move.

@Chelsea
lol…We need to work in your game next time.

@Reina
Side bar…how was Jazmine Sullivan last night? Can she sing live?

@Reina

Well, that b**ch a** book pretty much told women to be these dainty lil women that let men take complete control of the entire dating situation and put these ridiculous stipulations on every action men may typically make in order to make you seem like some appealing butterfly he just HAS to capture.

Some rules:

End all phone calls with him FIRST.
Don’t talk on the phone with him longer than 10 mins at a time.
Don’t get too excited over any gift he gives you.
Don’t accept an offer for a Saturday night date after Wednesday.
Don’t answer everytime he calls and NEVER call him out of desire…only RETURN calls…after at least 4 missed calls from him.
Dates should only last 4-5 hrs…no nightcaps.
Wear your hair long cuz men don’t like short hair.
Be cool and aloof at all times.

Blah blah blah…what kind of MESS is that to teach women. To attract a man? Child please…

If there’s a mutual attraction between me and the woman, I like when the woman puts herself out there a little. She doesn’t have to pull her panties to the side and smile! I’m cool with something as simple as a subtle hint referencing a future activity we could share together.

@blaze

I don’t need game. More than enough men approach me everyday, everywhere. I got hit on last nite in the McD’s drivethru (while I was looking mad raggedy) AND while driving in traffic on the way to work yesterday morning (looking fab).

@t-moe
i like aggressive women,always have. I’ll admit I get flattered when women buy me drinks. Seems like theyve put their guard down and put themselves allll the way out there.

@Chelsea - I hear ya. And I don’t know about you, but I’m *always* getting hit on when I’m slumming. You’d think that’s when you’d be left alone, but alas… not the case.

@Chelsea
I wouldnt expect anything less from you.

@Black
I have to admit the same thing. I’ve had it happen a couple of times recently, and its definitely a nice change from the norm. And both of them were cool as hell, so I guess it says something about their level of confidence as well.

@reina
the first 3 dates for me are different
first date i spend absolutely noo money,makes me come up with some interesting ish.
2nd date,is usually short n cool
3rd date involves more of an all day thing

@Songbird

A guy told me once that men still hit on women when they’re slumming cuz they see potential. If a chick isn’t dressed, hair not done, bare-faced running to Walmart real quick and STILL made you look twice, then she GOTTA be fine when she actually put the effort in.

Who the hell are you? The guy on “Flip This House”? Whatever….

oh yea…
things i’ll never ever ever ever ever do is..
1..talk to a woman while she’s at work,or on her way to work.
2..approach women when she’s out with her girls
3..approach a woman when she’s with her kids
4..buy a woman a drink

@Chelsea

LMAO @ Flip This House! Haha

@blackfujones — someone once said to me they’d never apporach a woman if she’s with 1 other friend. If she’s with at least 2, they will, because then the girl won’t feel pressure to stop talking to tend to their lonely friend. Thoughts?

@Black
I feel you..Approaching a woman with a group of females is not cool. There’s always a few haters in the group mad because no men are hollering at them and we would have to work that much harder.

@chelsea
lol,nah i wanna see you at your best fuck all that slumming shit,bc most women dont want to get “talked to” bc they are slumming.
-oh yea and im a complimenter,hell u can be 60yrs old and looking fierce and my butt will tell you ya looking good. hell almost got beat up by some womans hubby bc i told her she looked great today,she loved it,he didnt. guess he shouldve told her that and not me

Great post FG. I agree with all of those but like the ladies said Making her Laugh is one that should be included. I think the biggest turn on for me that will catch my attention is a man’s willingness to go again the grain and do something untraditional for dates, surprises, and stuff. First date lets go walking about the University District and visiting old record stores and go to a vegan restaurant or go to China Town and play name that smell. Lol. Unfortunately I have yet to meet a single person with interests like that.

@Black
I have approached a woman while she was with her friends. It took years for me get that bold. lol The key is to engage everyone, not just her, because they will block…guaranteed.

@songbird,
thats somewhat true. you dont want to seem rude by intruding so i just dont do it at all. i’ll speak to all of the ladies and keep it moving. wayy too much pressure when women are in groups or with a few friends,bc its always one in the group whose going to be mad that she isnt getting the attention

thoughts ladies?

black you are a terrific father and that is attractive.

@ Blaze

Jazmine was there? I only remember Maxwell and his gyrating. LOL No, she was good. I only caught the end, but I wasn’t disappointed.

As for why I don’t approach men, I just don’t. I’ve never had to. I do wink or smile, but to actually walk up to a guy, nah. And I’m sure I have missed several great guys, but such is life. Plus, I like having the upper hand. You asked me out so now the burden is on you.

@miss

you’ve been watching way too many movies “name that smell”

i feel you tho,most males feel the pressure of spending a lot of money on the first date.hence why i spend nada. my first date with my wife was walking by buckingham fountain in the summer at the taste of chicago,and we were counting how many women had on heels that they knew would hurt their damn feet.lol
we still do that till this day

@miss

thank you luv
love my two muffins
oldest name is A’Naya Charee-Simone
youngest is Alayna Jordin

Black is here? I’m nervous now!
*fans herself*

@ Chelsea

Those rules are ridiculous. I’m just going to be me. Goofy me. Accept me or not.

@ Black

What do you have against buying drinks?

And a man that approaches a woman when she’s surrounded by her girls, he’s either brave or suicidal.

o brother@reina
ive had women give me that eye etc to come over and talk to her,and i’ll keep it moving.lol

i’m saying black! we don’t have to go on a expensive boring date when we can go on a cheap fun memorable date.

@reina
im the one still reaching for the oxygen mask

and with drinks i just think that it’s kinda like tricking you to liking me. like i have to liquor you up,or buy my way into a conversation with you,and im better than that. i just dont like doing it makes me feel like tricking,and the hell what T.I said nobody likes tricking on folks for no reason

i feel you miss,trust me
i know when ive met a cool woman when i can spend zero ddollars hanging out and we still had fun. in chicago on thursdays and sundays you can catch a ferry around the city and catch all the black art museums for free,thursdays is free at the dusable museum,free jazz nite on wednesdays at genesis,free liquor and cigar tasting at the cigar shop i frequent once a month.
so its plenty to do

@Reina
Its a fine line with buying women drinks…u don’t want to look cheap but there are quite a few women out there looking to get sponsored the entire nite and then run home to their man. Plus a good number of women dont like to recipricate…they never get the next one.

let ‘em know blaze.lol
like literally I’ll have my woman accept your drink and she’ll give it to me in your face.lol

@ Black

I respect that. I don’t really accept drinks. Just sit down and talk to me. That shows more interest to me. Drinks are cheap. You’re not doing me a favor by buying me an $8 cocktail. However, it would be nice if we’ve been talking and my drink’s low and you offer to refill it. That would be nice.

@ blaze

I didn’t see your comment before replaying to Black, but I do agree with that.

Black I agree. I will never forget this white guy that bought me my final drink at the bar one night. He came up to my and my friend and chatted us up a little bit and then offered to buy us a drink. I decided to try my first jager(sp?) bomb. After I downed that baby in like 4.3 seconds I was drunk off my ass. I was standing talking to my friend and something felt wonderful and to my surprise this white man was rubbing on my booty! Now would he have tried that prior to purchasing my tasty beverage? I thinks not.

the next man that takes me to a museum for our first date will be my husband.

Pls watch THE GAME tonight, support black programming!!! CW, 8:30ct(if I got the time wrong pls correct me)

@Black
They’ll be drinking house wine all nite but when you offer to buy a drink they want to order some expensive liqour. Also, what if she has a girl sitting there looking thirsty? Its only right that we get her a drink. Women know how to work the bar..I aint mad at them though..

@miss
told you,just a way to get in ya panties.my mouthpiece and me alone is enough to that anyways.
@reina,
now ive done that we sat chatted it up for a looong ass time i’ll refill it,and ive had folks do the same for me

@what

im addicted to that show.
been on it since season 1

Ms Miss-
Come on to DC, we can walk all up and down Penn Ave from the Smithsonian to the Library of Congress…take you pick..lol

pfft@blaze
thas why i dont buy drinks,theyll order on you than start talkin that im independent shit

oh brother @ black

What about the guy that does buy you a $10 drink and he becomes your shadow for the rest of the night?

@miss

feeling on yo boooottyyyy.lol

@reina
he’s your problem not mine.lol
see thas why i just try not to do it

And that’s why I offer them to sit/stand and talk to me before accepting a drink.

Lol black it was hilarious because my friend said he was doing it for a good two minutes before I realized. It felt nice and relaxing (it will actually make me fall asleep). But I would rather purchase my own drinks than to accept one from a man and him think that because he spent money on a drink that it entitles him to anything.

@Reina
Some men would just like to make a nice gesture by having the waitress send you a drink across the room without expecting any convo and keep his night moving. Would you find him and thank him for the drink?

@reina,
we know your a hard catch chica

–off topic
is it me or are these young ladies starting to resemble grown women like reina/miss/and chelsea.lol
girls 14 with 28 yr old bodies.the hell

@miss
lol..see least u liked the butt rub

blaze don’t do that unless you ready to marry me! lol. so tired of unnoriginal thoughtless seattle men.

blaze you are right. my baby sis is 14 and is stacked like i am!

@miss
i dont know what it is

@Black
While yes, it was a great feeling I didn’t want that man rubbing on my ass. I knew what he was there for. Him and his black wife were trying to pick up other black women at that bar. I’m not done with that.

@Ms Miss
I think you missed my post about liking the eccletic, bohemian looks on a woman. I def diggin that hair style you got posted

@ blaze

I’m not going on a lost and find mission, but if he’s looking at me when I accept the drink, I’ll mouth “thank you.” I won’t just accept a drink from anyone. I need to know who it’s coming from.

@Ms. Miss
So you’ve hooked up with married couples before?

I know what it is. It’s all this junk food and stuff. but I devolped super early too. I was in 5th grade over 5 feet with huge boobs. the rumor was i had breast implants…

@ Ms.

I learn something new about you every day. Yesterday, that you intentionally leave your undies at home. Today, that you’re a swinger.

@Reina
Just make sure when you “mouth” it, wear some fluorescent lip gloss and say it slowly….lol

lol@reina
nothing wrong with swingers,just have to be done tastefully(and no i dont engage in that………anymore)

I MEANT DON’T!!!!!! I DON’T LIKE GIRLS LIKE THAT!!!!

I am 28 so my body is age appropriate. But you’re right. That’s why us single gals have to live in the gym, just to keep up with adolescents.

@miss

oh they were lookin for potential

and I DO NOT leave my panties at home on purpose! i’ve done it like maybe three times in four months.

@miss

YOU AINT GOT TO LIE

@reina
telling you,young women try and talk to me and i can tell by their approach how old they are.any woman who approaches me with a “nigga you fine” ill pass

They were, he was making his way to all the black women buying drinks and stuff and his wife (who was really pretty) was dancing with chicks and acting like it didn’t phase her.

@ Black

I’ve been to a Swingers club. It was a very eye-opening experience.

@Ladies
Who much older your senior would you date a guy?

oh and thanks blaze, glad you like my hair.

I will never date anyone more than 5 years older than me again. period.

@reina
my fam ran a club like that for quite some time,and my ex was vice president of a swingers club here n chicago

i would go just to chill these days,but years ago i’d go bc i like to be watched.
how did u like it?

@miss

yea your hair looks great on u

thanks black.

@ Black

I only went once. I was dared into going. I came away with a new view of it, but it wasn’t for me.

I’ve dated up to 7, 8 years older than me.

@reina

isnt as crazy as folks make it out to be

@Black
yeah…I developed late (no boobs til 9th grade and then it happened overnite…went from ‘A’ cup almost ‘c’ and was a ‘c’ from 10th grade on…hips, booty…all finally came in 9th grade) but my 13-yo cousin is shaplier than me. Wow…

never did a swingers thing…tho I was kinda interested when I read Zane’s APF…(anyone else?)

I typically date older guys…but now that I’m in my (very early) 20’s I don’t think I’ll go over 25-28…anything older is a drastic difference IMO.

Guys become stalkers after they buy u a drink, so no thanks. I got it, bruh.

What’d I miss?

@guys

curious tho…

what would you guys think about a woman that you were dating if she told you she did sexual things that weren’t socially acceptable?

Swinging, multiple partners at once, threesomes, etc…

Where the hell is Tubbs? Do we need to put an APB out on that brother?

My breasts didn’t show up until college, and then they just wouldn’t stop growing. Ass & hips, though, they were always there.

Chelsea I revealed something like that to a guy I was dating because he asked and pretty much told me I wasn’t a lady and left.

@chelsea
wouldnt matter to me bc ive done everything under the sun(besides any homosexual acts) so a sexually free(and std free) woman is fine by me

and yes ive read all of zanes books,i know of women like the ones she writes about. google the sex kittens,their a group here in chicago.my ex was vp but things happened

@miss
when i get to kno kno a person,i let them know how i am to an extent.when sex comes up i let them know and make their decision from there.most times women are intrigue,but then some will be like dude wtf.lol

@miss
so i take it your a very sexual person

@Miss

there go them games, expectations and double standards

it wasn’t anything odd or unusual really. I could understand if I told him I was a necrophiliac or something but it was something plenty of people do and he wasn’t having it. he was ultra conservative and obbsessed with marriage. I asked him what his fantasy was once and he told me to get married. Red flag.

@chelsea
openness is the key
trust me,ive had women tell me that I’m too “experienced” or to “wild” for them. but they didnt realize that im different with every person

black I think very is an understatement but celibacy has put so much in perspective for me. when I do get with that one special person there are very few rules. i’ll just say that.

@Chelsea
I don’t know how I would feel about that. Some things I would prefer not to know, so I don’t ask. I know everyone has a past, but I don’t necessarily need to know every intricate detail.

lol@miss
whatever the female likes im into (barring any homosexual stuff.lol)
im extremely open

never practiced it and never will miss.well ive never needed it,bc ive always been so selective of my sexual mates.hell you have to pass my test.lol

I typically feel that my sexual past is nobodies business but my own and the people that I have been intimate with. I tell guys “I’m not a virgin and I’m not Superhead…I’m somewhere in the middle so either you like it or you don’t”. I’m clean, never been pregnant and no professional sports team has ever tossed me around, so there’s nothing you need to worry about, fool.

@Black, this season is soooo good, do u think Derwin is really the father???

I have multiple reasons why I’ve made the decision to abstain from sexual contact with men but the main one is that I want more meaningful relationships and less meaningless sex. Sex clouds my judgement. It truly does. I’ve stayed in bad relationships just because the sex was good. It was my weakness and my problem and I’m fixing it.

@what

its a possibility
i stood up n cheered when melanie said “that bitch is lyin”lol
but i feel for derwin..cant win for losin

We’re talking about sex now?

@Miss

I feel your pain. I’ve had guys that I slept with lie and play games just so they could keep me around cuz the sex is great. I’ve been celibate for a while (actually I slipped up last weekend or had some “debauchery” as Moe calls it) but it put everything in perspective for me.

@Moe

good…don’t ask cuz I wouldn’t tell you anyway.

@Reina

yes!

@Chelsea
I don’t want the visual of someone I’m digging getting served by two dudes at the same time. Definitely not a “need to know.”

@miss
i could seperate sex from emotion

and yea we are reina

@black

but i think sex influences a hell of a lot of our decisions as people.

@Moe

well I dont wanna know that you bagged over 30 strippers in one weekend on a frat trip in college.

I had one ex who BEGGED me to tell him how many sexual partners I had had. I was like WTF do you wanna know that for? And what difference does it make? If I said 10 would that be too many? 25? 60? What?

@ Black, I feel ya…but Derwin should have been extra careful, he knew he wasn’t tryin to wife that chick, now he might be stuck…and this is going to put a big strain on him and melanie’s relationship…

Oh. My sexual past is boring. Strictly one on one. But there are things a man would have to ask point blank for me to divulge, and even then, it’s not guaranteed.

@Chelsea
The outcome of those conversations are never good, so why go there. If I’m interested in you, my goal is to be the LAST man you ever slept with.

@Moe

‘If I’m interested in you, my goal is to be the LAST man you ever slept with.’

I applaud you for that one sir!

@Chel
You can’t change the past, but you can have an influence on the future.

black so can I. and that was getting a bit too much too. the last guy I had sex with has been calling me everyday straight for four months.

@Chel
Thanks

I was fed up with completely emotionless, marajuna induced sex. The guy would feel bad because afterwards I would shower quick make myself a nighttime snack and kick him out. that wasn’t nice.

@ Ms.

More new stuff. You have so many layers. Continue.