She Doesn't Love Me Anymore

I wouldn’t call it a relationship (per say) what me and dude had, it was like in the starting stages. anyway he was in school in Kentucky and I was in Florida (quite a distance) but when he got up there I don’t know things just didn’t seem the same, the guy that I’d be on the phone with the entire time while he drove to and from wasn’t the same guy that i would talk to in KY. He seemed more distant when he was at school, but when he came home it was like I couldn’t get rid of him. I don’t know me personally I can’t take the hot and cold that some long distance relationships bring. You should be the same no matter where you are.

Sounds *very* familiar. Twice I’ve been involved with men long-distance. First one was a ballplayer from another state, and he was constantly on the road. Things were great when we met, and for about a month or so we spent a lot of time on the phone, and had made crazy plans to get together, but then it dwindled…quick. I know, I know, he’s a ballplayer so I shouldn’t have expected anything. Anyway… Next guy tho, was an old friend from school who I reconnected with, so there was some history already. He lived 2 hours away, but we talked every night, and when we got together, we had great fun. Then, out of nowhere, the calls slowed down, his tone changed, and he just wasn’t himself when we’d get together, to the point where I felt like he was there under some sort of obligation, not by his own will. Then when it finally dwindled down to nothing, I had gotten the hint… he just wasn’t into me anymore. It was so frustrating though, because if I mentioned what I was noticing, he just said, “sorry, I’ve just been busy”. In the end I felt like the ass for holding on for so long, thinking, “oh, he’s just busy”. Weird thing about it all, eventually he said he just couldn’t handle a relationship – yet never did I ever claim I wanted to tie him down. You’d think a guy would be happy to have the arrangement we had – best of both worlds – you got the good things, and none of the headache that comes with a relationship. Oh well, his loss!

My one healthy relationship. I was 18 and met him at a call center we both started at. I loved that boy something fierce and he loved me too. He was from LA and came up here to live with his aunt and get out of the south. Once we started staying together things began to go sour because he wanted to spend every waking moment with me and would cry about stuff all the time (remember my comments in the men crying chronicles?) anyways he had to go back to LA for a couple months. At that time I was still carrying on in a friendship with my ex that intrigued me for some reason and he hated that more than anything on earth. We vowed to talk everyday and be faithful. So the first couple weeks were cool and we would talk. But once I went back to school he started getting really insecure about everything. He would call my cell constantly and if he heard a male voice in the background he would always question it and accuse me of cheating. One time he called my home and my sister told him I walked to the store. True. I came back but then had to walk back to the store again. He called back again, sis told him I went back to the store. Then I had to make yet ANOTHER trip to another store (I had no vehicle). He called again, same answer. When I was finally home to bake my damn cake he called and went off about how I had my sister covering for me because I was cheating. Just continually going downhill and at one point threatened to kill himself and some other bullshit. I broke up with him soon after. Time of death (of the relationship): 1 ½ months after his move.

Dating a dude long distance my sophomore year in college. Things were ok, except he NEVER had time to talk to me, because he was playing video games. I HATE video games (not anymore, but back then it was a deal breaker). Anyway, after a few weeks of maybe getting 10 mins a week, I decided to cut my losses.

Yes, I’ve been here…twice.

We were 17 and we were in love. I always knew I wanted to apply to schools away from home and I did just that. I ended up 8 hours away. I tried to end it with him…he swore he wanted to make it work. Well my first semester away he cheated but this wasn’t apparent to me until the summer time when I came home from college. My second semester he accused me of cheating constantly and wanting to make new friends. Put 2 and 2 together during the summer I called him on the cheating and told him I wont take no for an answer who was it…he admitted to it. We decided to try the next year….which had it’s OWN problems! Long story short took us 2 years to officially end it. Another 1 of him not wanting to let me go while he had other ppl in his life…he thought we would be able to get back together once i moved back home…something i was never going to do…Apparently I abandoned him when i left for college…SURE…

Second relationship a lot better. When we met we were 4 hours away from each other. He actually just recently moved to my home city. I had just gotten my car. We saw each other almost every weekend for a year…spoke on the phone every night. Now I am back home…for me…not him…now we are adjusting to see each other more often…the distance did not break us…let’s see what happens now…

Tried it once…and it ended badly. Not long after proposing marriage, professing his undying love and committment, he cheated. I became distant, and then he became distant. And now he is with the cheat-ee (without any explanation to me). We were together for about two years. Problems appeared about 1 1/2 years into it.

Met a girl and fell in love. Spent 4 weeks together before having to do the long distance thing. Was amazing…the one’s for each other.
Went to visit 6 weeks later (2500 miles away) and we shared the same feelings and more than before.
Then I come back, and slowly i start to feel a change in her. Different conversation tone, less love in her voice. Would forget to say thank you when I sent flowers (often sent them and letters and packages too). I was totally committed and was ready to go through this for the long haul.

but i could feel it in her voice. then..one day she tells me she feels smothered (from 2500 miles away???????) and needs some space…that she dosn’t love me anymore even though she is trying.

I don’t want anyone to force themselves to be in love…but how did that change so rapidly?

wtf!!!

i know many will think that there must be another guy…but its not the case (i know through other friends). She just stopped feeling the same.

I don’t think she ever put any effort into (never replied to letters or emails). Not a ver good girlfriend at all.

For the best that it’s over.

My advice…talk about how you are feeling…and you have to be ready to put more effort into it to keep it alive than a local relationship…not to mention the money too!

lasted 5 months

and spent only 5 weeks of that time together…had plans to move here…totally uncommitted she was…really never there.

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