Fly Features
5 Lies All Women Tell (Guest Feature)
Written By Madeline Murphy
You trust her, you adore her, you worship the proverbial ground she walks on. But make no mistake, gentlemen; all women lie in certain situations, and your little angel is no exception.
Sometimes she’s only fibbing a bit to protect her own feelings or yours. Sometimes her motives are less laudable, like lying to cover her tracks. Whatever the case, certain lies occur much more frequently than others. It’s up to you to learn which lines shouldn’t be believed, and how to handle them.
Big Lie #1: “I’m not mad at you.”
Oh, yes she is. Don’t think you’re getting off that easily. This lie is one of the most frequently used in relationships. Typically, women who have been hurt by men in their lives — often inadvertently — use this phrase as an emotional defense. For example, if a guy forgets his girlfriend’s birthday, calls her by his ex’s name, or commits any of the other minor screwups that most men do on a daily basis, women usually can’t just let it go. They dwell on it, letting worries whittle away normal feelings of well-being like a dog gnaws on a bone.
Instead of admitting that she’s actually quite hurt by his relatively minor offense, the woman will half-heartedly pretend that she doesn’t care at all. In reality, she does care, very much so, but doesn’t want to look too anal-retentive or bitchy about it, so she puts up the flimsiest of facades to indicate otherwise.
Lie radar: This lie is extremely easy to pick up on because women barely bother to hide their irritation in this situation. As unfair as it may seem, they basically want men to read their minds and learn that, in this case, “No, I’m not angry,” actually means, “I am shooting invisible hate laser beams at you right now, please pick up on it.” Excessive eye rolling, mean tones and passive-aggressive behavior in general are dead giveaways.
What you should do: Save yourself some time and headaches later on by calling her on her real feelings and discussing why she’s so angry.
Big Lie #2: “I don’t mind if you go to strip clubs with the boys.”
Wow, you have the coolest girlfriend ever! Not quite. If this one sounds too good to be true, that’s because it is. Word to the wise: Virtually all women mind when their men go out to ogle other women without them . It’s only a question of how much they mind.
This lie is very similar to Lie No. 1, in that it is another fib that only comes up in relationships and is told by women to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. In general, women are extremely wary of their boyfriends being in highly sexually-charged situations without them. Also, they hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys. In this case, she’s either fibbing to save face or to test you.
For the same reasons, they are also lying when they say they don’t mind you checking out other women in front of them.
Lie radar: This lie is usually a little bit more artfully concealed than the first because it’s a little bit more pathetic to own up to one’s insecurity. It’s best to just always assume that this statement is a lie.
What you should do: You’re probably better off just not going. Ask yourself: Are two hours of bare booty worth weeks, even months , of bitchy comments?
Big Lie #3: “I’m just not ready for a boyfriend right now.”
Once again, this statement is almost always false, although at least it’s told with the best intentions, in order to soften rejection. It might be followed by an additional excuse such as: “I just came out of a bad relationship, and I don’t want to be hurt again,” or “I’m just too busy with my career right now to have a boyfriend.” The truth is, if the woman is single and at all interested in you, she will certainly make the time to date you. It’s that simple.
Lie radar: Does she seem uncomfortable, avoid eye contact, talk too much, and come up with numerous excuses? Liar, liar, miniskirt on fire.
What you should do: Let it go. Don’t bother letting her know that you see through it. Take the easy way out by pretending you believe her for your own personal dignity, and just walk away.
Big Lie #4: “I don’t mind picking up the tab tonight. You always pay anyway.”
Not true. Although this lie doesn’t apply to all women, most still do expect men to pay for things, especially if the man asked them out in the first place. They will secretly think that the guy is cheap if he wriggles out of the bill on a regular basis. Men should always at least offer to pay for dinner if they have asked the woman out. If she protests vigorously , then split the bill in two; if she just protests casually, she’s only doing it out of politeness, so pay for it.
Lie radar: If she says, “Oh, I’ll cover this,” but doesn’t even make the motion of rooting around in her purse for her wallet, it means that she has no real intention of paying.
What you should do: Dude, just go to the date fully prepared to pay for the whole shebang. In later stages of the relationship, you can work out a fair way to determine who treats whom when, but in the early, critical dating stages, don’t risk looking cheap.
Big Lie #5: “You’re the best in bed.”
This lie falls under the broad category of sex lies. When women are committed to a man, they focus on him, often believing, time and time again, that he is “the one.” Because girls have this tendency, they also tell guys whatever they think they want to hear, just to make them feel good about themselves.
Sex lies are a dime a dozen. Other sex untruths women often tell are the following: “I only come with you,” “You have the longest penis,” “Yes, I came,” and “I’ve only been with X number of guys before.” (They will decrease their actual number of sex partners because they’re worried you will think they’re promiscuous.)
Lie radar: When it comes to sex, that most sensitive of topics, it’s safe to say that you should take most things she tells you with a grain of salt.
What you should do: You shouldn’t be asking her to rate her sexual experiences, period. That’s just in poor taste. If she offers you one of the lies above on her own, however, laugh and change the subject, as if to say: “That’s flattering, but I don’t really take these things too seriously as long as we’re both happy with our sex life.”
Long Live the Lie Detector King
Now that you know the most frequent fibs, be on the lookout for them, and react accordingly. Once she learns that you can’t be tricked, she’ll be more straightforward with you in the future.
Login
Categories
Most Emailed
- Why I’m Single - 39 emails
- Friends With Benefits: The Cold, Hard Facts - 34 emails
- You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone - 24 emails
- Volume 43- The Dating Commandments - 19 emails
- Volume 45- Men That Women Hate - 13 emails
| About | Fly Guy TV | Fly Guy Store | Contact | Archives | Links | Disclaimer
blackfujones
Ahh…I’ve been waiting for this one.
I shall add on to this one FG
Lie#5. “I’m ok with your female friends”
-yea right. She believes you’ve either are or have sexed her before and she’s insecure about it
Lie#6. “I can cook’its just that I don’t like to cook.
-newsflash..she probably burns boiled water so u might want to do the cookin yourself.
I can’t wait to hear the women respond bc I know the majority will say they aren’t in any of these categories
KaNisa
Passing through…
#1 The I’m not mad thing might not be true, but I don’t think those “minor offenses” you listed are at all minor…
#2 I honestly don’t care as long as you’re coming home to me at night and you don’t mind me going out and doing the same with my girls.
#3 True.
#4 Not a lie. I don’t mind paying sometimes. I would feel bad if he always pays.
#5 LOL people still tell this lie?
KaNisa
@blackfuljones…lol both of those are good ones.
KaNisa
and also @ #5 I wouldn’t tell anyone they were bad. I’d just like “hmmmmm…..” LOL
I never reward lackluster performance in any arena…if I did, people never try to do better!
chrissy snow
i ain’t even gon front number 1 is a given lmao but that number 2 i wish i WOULD say i don’t mind, imma be like playboy try it and you may need to find you a new place to live….
blackfujones
O brother@ chrissy
chrissy snow
Lie#5. “I’m ok with your female friends”
-yea right. She believes you’ve either are or have sexed her before and she’s insecure about it
^^^^MAN PLEASE…one lie i will never tell lol
chrissy snow
O brother what lmao i am just being honest no LIES here blackfu….
Bahama
Women? Lie?? Nooooooooooooooo
lmao
eh? those lies you listed are kinda true..@ Black i wouldn’t have a problem with female friends cuz half my friends are males so i get it..
Ms. Miss
this could have been better. most of these are not comparable to the lies men tell segment to me which is very unfair. blackjones hit the BEST one about female friends. but the reverse can be said about her male friends. many women remain friends with previous flings and ex boyfriends or guys that they are attracted to in SOME way.
also women damn near ALWAYS lie about the number of previous sexual partners.
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
Some honorable mentions:
Lie #6: Me and (insert male name here) are just REALLY GOOD FRIENDS… (meaning I banged him and banged him GOOD and if you eff up, then trust he’s taking your place in my bed, homie)
Lie #7: Just tell me the truth. I promise I won’t get mad… (actually I will be mad…and you will be sleeping on your mama’s couch for a loooooong time, homie)
Lie #8: We can still be friends… (if friends key each others cars and drunk dial to insult you, then yes, by all means, me and you, Mr. Ex-Boyfriend, are BUDDIES!)
Lie #9: Your homeboy is constantly eye-raping me? No, I never noticed… (I’ve notcied, eye-raped him back, secretly planned our life together and wondered how I can have both him and you without any conflict)
Lie #10: No, sweetie, I never talk to my friends about our relationship…(ha! If you believe this one, then I got a farm in Panama that I wanna sell you. OF COURSE I talk about you and our relationship to my friends. Idiot)
Lie #11: You’re right…(wtf? you? being right? don’t make me laugh…never in this lifetime, boo)
Lie #12: I like your friends…(I CAN’T STAND those sloppy, freeloading losers that cheat on their wives/girlfriends and encourage you to go to strip clubs and watch football all week!)
Ladies…why do we lie to these men? Idk…i think these are pretty common though. I’ve said them all, I know that for a fact!
blackfujones
@bahama. Puhlease I know I’m a jealous male,however u women take it over the top.lol
My female buddies came to my wedding,even tho my wife knew them they got eyeballed all day
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
oh..wait wait wait…I forgot one…
Biggest Lie of All:
No, money doesn’t really matter to me…(like I really wanna struggle with ur broke butt? I KNOW you know better than that!)
blackfujones
Lmao at u women.
Chrissy u hussy you. U know u act like all of the above
And chelsea shame on you.
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
hey…i’m just being honest. Women lie just as well as men. And I honestly think women lie about BIGGER things, but men lie waaaaaay more often. Just as sure as a man is talking to you, he is lying.
lyricalluv
lmao @chelsea: I’m pleading the fifth and sticking to it.
lyricalluv
blackfujones: I know you enjoyed this one,lmao.
Reina
#1: Definitely! All the time, and I expect him to know that I’m angry and rectify it. If he just says okay, he’s in trouble.
#2: Unless his strip clubs visits are excessive, it wouldn’t bother me. Go. Have fun. Just don’t come back horny expecting to get any.
#3: I’m guilty of this. It’s just easier.
#4: I don’t make this lie. You ask me out. You pay. I ask you out. I pay. If we’re in a relationship, we’ll figure out a system.
#5: Men shouldn’t ask. I’m going to tell the truth, but be as tactful as possible. Plus, it gives him something to aspire toward.
@ blackfu
I have more male friends than females so there’s no need for me to ever make that lie.
Regarding cooking, well, I do hate it, but you won’t starve or die from food poisoning.
Reina
@ Chelsea:
LMAO! I concur with all you said.
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Reina and lyricalluv
thank you very much ladies…im glad that you agree (even tho lyricalluv is trying to keep it under wraps, I know she feels me! Talkin bout pleading the fifth…psh)
anyway…im SHOCKED FG hasn’t made his way thru here yet…I was SURE he’d have plenty to say on this one…
Nicole
those lies are pretty basic. I hate liars and therefore try not to lie. (I don’t think anybody can avoid the SEX lie.) but if i say i’m gonna pay i do. I don’t like you going to the strip club i’ll say so but if you do go I expect to be able to do the same (it’s all about equality).
@Chelsea
#7 No matter how many times women dish out this lie men are keen to this one and they know better! lol
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Nicole
lol…they fall for it everytime tho!
“You sure you’re not gonna get mad?”
“No, I’m not….just tell me.”
Later…
“See that’s why I never tell you anything! You can’t handle the truth!”
lmao…it is what it is. I may not LIKE the truth, but I do want it. So it’s your obligation to tell it to me. Just my opinion tho…
And I don’t think anybody is completely honest in a relationship. I don’t think HUMANS are completely honest in life, so you think you’re really gonna tell your significant other the truth 24/7? No way
blackfujones
Yes lyrical for once
blackfujones
@chelsea,I know better than to tell the truth. Keep the lie alive
@reina
Puhlease if I go to the strip club I’m gonna want some butt when I get home pointblank
And I don’t trust any male who believes that they can just be friends with my chic.
O btw
Lie#12
I have more male friends than female
-what she really is saying is her potential backups are in the wing so don’t screw up
Reggie Boy
So Lie # 2 is interesting. Ms Murphy implied twice that your girl don’t want you to be without her in those situations.
Fellas…just bring your girl with you. Problem solved!
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@blackfujones
I’m going to tell you men like my mom ALWAYS told me when I was a kid (and even now)…
When I ask you a question, it’s because I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER!
Your best bet is to tell me (or your girl/wife) the truth and forget that keep a lie alive crap. That’s what gets you kicked out of your happy home and have you living with them same freeloaders that keep you in the strip club all weekened long.
Oh…and I wish my man WOULD go to the booty-shakin joint and then come home poking me in my back. I’d be wrong if I said “go poke Miss Chocloate Thunder in tbe back, playboy” right? Don’t go get horny lookin at some other random broads boobs and no-no hole and think I’m supposed to be the one pleasing you while you fantasizing about some stripper…Puh-Leeze!
Reina
@ blackfu:
I’m willing to bend only so far on the male friends issue. Reasonable complaints or insecurities such as guys calling me in the middle of the night or calling me baby, etc, I’ll deal with those. Having no male friends at all or his being insecure because my friend has a better job, etc., that’s unacceptable. It doesn’t matter if you don’t trust them. You have to trust me. If you can’t, then kick rocks.
Regarding the strip club, you can want ass all you want when you return, you’re not getting any. You’re not about to get turned on by some scantily clad, pole-spinning heifers and have me be the recipient of that. Not happening.
blackfujones
Lol
@reina & chelsea
Like I said keep the lie alive,she already knows the truth so y even bother
And as the strip club goes,men actually go there for the cheap drinks(well when I was drinkin thas what I did)
And no not all males are insecure about women havin male friends,but don’t u think for a minute that he doesn’t want to be n my position. Bc when I was single and had “female”friends with men. More than likely I was waiting patiently to sneak n ya sheets
Yea I was a snake like that..sue me
blackfujones
And what’s wrong with going to a strip club then coming home to your sig. other?
blackfujones
And what’s wrong with going to a strip club then coming home to your sig. other?
I feel so ganged up on,I’m surrounded by women n here
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@blackfu
I frequent strip clubs personally and the drinks ARE NOT cheap ($14 for a Hennesey and coke…wtf??) so that rules that one out. Its cheaper to have your boys get together at someone’s house (just not OURS cuz remember that lil lie about me actually liking your friends? Yeah…having them drunk in my house makes me have to lie even harder next time. Don’t do it!) and split a few bottles between you guys. You go to see the ASS! But I guess you keeping that lie alive too, huh? (smile)
And being that snake in the grass comes back to haunt you, now doesn’t it? Yes, we women are all well aware that our “guy friends” want to get us in bed. We have probably bedded a few of them and it didn’t go any further, hence the reason they are now just our “friends”, so don’t get your jock strap in a bunch.
Reina
It doesn’t matter if he wants be in your position. It doesn’t matter if you don’t trust him. Trust me! There’s always someone wanting to take your spot, friend or foe. Do what it takes to keep me because I, for damn sure, will do what it takes to keep him. And that is why I do not stress about other females. If another girl succeeds and get him, it isn’t because I’m lacking. He’s jut greedy.
I’m not replying to anything else regarding strip clubs. That’s just disrespectful.
Bahama
@Black..if your cool with my male friends then i’m kool with your female friends..simple as that i might not like em but i’d keep it to myself..
Bahama
about the strip club…personally i been to one don’t see the big deal but hey if that’s what my dude likes *shrugs shoulders* what’s the saying? Look but don’t touch…
blackfujones
@chelsea
Girll stoppp,pends on what nights you go to the strip club,and me having my friends over won’t happen bc I’m particular about keeping our house spotless(well my wife will kick my butt if they mess it up)
And we know u prolly bedded them hence y they smirk at us
blackfujones
@reina
I guess it was bc I knew all the strippers was why my woman wasn’t partial to them huh. Anyways whatever your mate doesn’t approve on should be discussed than handled. You don’t like strip clubs thas fine,then porn here I come
blackfujones
@bahama
Hell men need to worry about u women at the strip club. Yall be outrageous. My wifes sister n cousin act like they don’t have no damn sense
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@blackfu
Any night! Those drinks are expensive…but that’s not the issue here.
the point I was trying to make is the same one that Reina stated (who by the way is my new best friend…lol)
If any of my male friends were a threat to you, then trust me, you would have already been ousted. You can’t trust anyone. Not the coffee guy…not our *very* distant, twice removed cousin Chris…not the mailman. No one. They’re ALL trying to get us in bed, so question your position, not my homies. Whether I slept with them or not, I’m with your insecure butt now, so deal with it.
Reina
@ Black:
I know I said I wasn’t, butI’m starting to think you intentionally misunderstand what I write just to have something to debate about. I never said I don’t like strip clubs, never said that I don’t mind him going. He’s just not getting any when he returns, and if he needs to go to the computer to rub that one out, have at it. Just don’t wake me up! And take a shower!
@ Chelsea: Hi Best Friend!
Reina
Where the hell is FG? Starting something and disappearing.
The Fly Guy
@Reina
Did someone (you) just try to call me out on national TV? I didn’t disappear. I’ve been doing this shoot all day with that TV show “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” so I apologize for not being a part of today’s discussion, but I haven’t been in front of a computer.
hmmmm….(still contemplating how I feel about being called out)….I’ve gotta keep my eye on you…
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Reina
Heeeeeeeey best buddy!
darkcapricorn82
I’ve been told all these lies mentioned by everyone in this post, guess I just have bad luck. However I believe the biggest lie I’ve ever been told was about marriage constantly talking about the subject, there’s nothing wrong with thinking about marriage but making it come across that’s what you want and in actuality you’re more afraid of it than I am, just about drove me nuts.
I don’t even like strip clubs so I’ve never had that problem and if I’m invited to go I always invite my woman,especially if she’s never been.
And about your male friends I personally don’t have a problem with them, I realize that in any female male relationship 9 out of 10 times the relationship is only as strong as the woman is. Most of your male friends have had some sexual thought about you whether he be a childhood friend you grew up knowing or a co-worker. Even if you’ve bedded him I don’t have an issue with it, but I won’t question you on it, so please don’t question me on a female friend that calls me on a Saturday evening around lunch. Asking if I hooked up with her or not, that’s when being honest can get your messed up.
Oh another big lie: I want a three some you and another woman, get the hell outta here
darkcapricorn82
@Chelsea
Not sure what strip club you’ve been going to I stay in the capital of strip clubs Atlanta, hen only goes for $8.00 even Patron Shots, most expensive thing in strip clubs is mostly the dance and the admission. But guess if you’re not in there tipping or getting dances they got to find some way to get money
Preston
Wow…I’m almost overwhelmed now that I’ve read all these comments. A couple things are buggin me out though. Maybe it’s just me and my friends, but there has only been ONE time that a chick banged one of the fellas and another one wifed her up (and it sure as hell wasn’t me). If one of my boys got down with you–then we can’t be an item…ever! That was how it was in Jersey (where I grew up) and Carolina (where I went to school). I would’ve sworn that was standard procedure. Maybe that was just us tho…
And if I go to the strip club on Friday…I can’t have any ass until Saturday? Is it a day rule or a 24 hour thing? What about Saturday morning if I’ve showered?
Fuck outta here…
I don’t even go to strip clubs and this was some of the silliest shit I’ve ever heard! What am I on punishment? How are you gonna be like, “it’s cool if you go but we can’t have sex that night”…then it’s obviously NOT COOL that I go now is it? I almost want to do a full post about this on my site…
Blackfu — way to hold it down…sorry you were in here by yourself just duckin arrows…lol. I’ll have to start droppin by FlyGuy more often.
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@darkcapricorn82
I live in South Florida…and yeah…the drinks, the dances from the females…all that crap is pretty expensive depending on where you go. I happen to like high-class pretty strippers, so you gotta pay for what you get (yes…i am a fan of female strippers and I almost was one, but that’s a WHOLE nother post…oh and no, i am not a bi-curious lady)
anyway…I’m sorry that you were lied to so much…but hey, it happens. About the marriage thing…u lost me. Elaborate a little when you get a chance please.
And I agree with you on the friend thing. Like i said before, he and I may or may not have had a past, but that IS the PAST. Yes we lie to you about it becuz if we told you the truth then you would never let it die. And I agree again..don’t question me if Jamal calls me a few times a week, and if Jessica calls you i’ll keep my mouth shut as well. Don’t ask, don’t tell (or be prepared to NEVER live it down, ladies and gents)
Now on to this damned strip club situation. i have to speak for myself and say, strippers are sexy and whatnot, and we know you guys get turned on (hey, sometimes I get turned on to be honest) by them. If you go to the strip club with your boys and allow a stripper to make you horny, then you might as well take that frustration out on her…the object of your lust…if you feel that horny. Cuz at that moment, you are NOT looking at her grinding and shaking and thinking of Chelsea in her head scarf and Noxema mask at home. DO NOT come home to me with Patron on your breath and Diamond on your mind and think that Chelsea is really going to take that task of satisfying your drunk and aroused butt happily…I’m just the safest alterative at that point to having sex with a random stripper.
@Preston
You’re right…IT’S NOT OK for you to go to the strip club. That’s why it was a L-I-E that women tell in relationships. Go if you want…I am not going to like it, but if i tell you not to go then you’re going to do like Blackfu and start pole-jacking to porn or you’re going to seethe all damn night and secretly text Jay and them to see what the strippers are up to. Either way…I lose.
When you come home, hit the bathroom and think about Diamond until you get that release that you need. Cuz that’s what you went there for right? To get away from the ol’ lady and see beautiful uninhibited women with bodies and values that wifey doesn’t have. Oh wait…no. It was for the $8 drinks…my fault. How could I forget?
And Balckfu purposely misconstrues things so that a debate starts on the issues that he really wants to talk about…and that’s fine. I love a good debate (obviously) but I don’t feel bad for him because this site is obviously more heavily frequented by opinionated women then participating guys…maybe if you all SPREAD THE WORD we could get some real answers up in here. Until then, you deal with US…capeshe?
blackfujones
Chelsea both you and reina are ornery like I stated before. I don’t purposely disagree with u two all the time,fact is I just don’t agree with you all when it comes to relationships etc.
Hell how r u gonna say u frequent strip clubs yet I wonder when u come home does your sig. Other get some or do u punish yourself bc u went to the club. I just think some of your answers are typical feminine answers just wish stuff wasn’t so typical at times. I mean come on reina argued with me the other day about how she has to be friends with someone for a while before she “dates” them. Then today she says her “man” shouldn’t be worried about her male friends. Well according to u luv you make ya “future man” wait to b ya friend. Just sayin women at times are hypocrites as well.
Still luv yall tho,and yea I am n here by myself. Too many hormones FG
Preston
Hmmmm…so you like to go see the girls every now and then, huh Chelsea? So if you go WITH your man to the club, then can he get some? Shit seems arbitrary to me. I feel like if you have a problem with your man going to the strip club occasionally (I’m not talkin about those once a week fools…or even those once a month fools…I mean truly occasionally) then that’s insecurity…plain and simple.
Dudes don’t sweat it when you and your girls wanna go out and see male strippers. #1 I trust you not to do some scandalous shit…you’re my girl…I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t trust you. I mean, I know you ain’t running off with that nigga from the club…so why would I sweat it…why would I hold back sex??
So why isn’t the reverse true. You know I’m not running off with “Diamond” from the club. You know I’m not fuckin strippers in the back room…for ONE because I’m coming home trying to fuck you (unsuccessfully if I’m your or Reina’s man) and TWO, because like I said before…I’m your man and you trust me. The same chicks are gonna touch me when you’re there. They’re gonna be lookin for lap dances and tips, same as any other day–whether your sittin next to me or on the couch at home. But somehow if YOU’RE not there I’m so dirty that I can’t touch my girl that night?? Please…
I’m not over there fantasizing about her when I get home…I’m fantasizing about the woman I love and come home to.
You know what I think when my girl comes home from a girls night out at the club. I think about how all them niggas in the club was looking at her…wanting her…dreaming about her…and I’m the one slowly pulling her clothes off about to do what I do best. Again…why doesn’t that work in reverse?
Blackfu was right about two things…it’s definitely all love and we definitely see these relationship things very differently…
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
Ok ok ok…yes I go to strip clubs…here in South Florida its a HUGE past time for both women (straight and otherwise) and men (straight and otherwise) to go to gentlemen’s clubs. I have gone to one with my man and we got dances together, drank, the whole nine. When we got home we DEFINITELY went at it and for the better part of the morning too! That’s something we shared together, went together, came home together and took it out on each other.
When I go alone and come home to my sig. other, sometimes we go at it, sometimes we don’t…but I’m usually not the one initiating. And if he did get pissed and tell me to work it out myself, trust and believe I’d pull out a “friend” and get to work. No shame in my game. Would I rather be banging my man? Of course, but am I gonna get pissy because he’s upset that I’m aroused not because of him, but some gyrating chick on a pole? Nope…real talk. I respect that.
I never said I didn’t trust my man…I just said the reason he went to the strip club in the first place was to ogle other women that don’t look like the woman he has at home. No doubt in my mind he still loves and desires me, but that particular night, someone else is getting the eye…not me.
And do you, Preston, really expect me to believe you looking at a stripper but you thinking about me? GTFOH (get the f*** outta here!)
And I love the “Manswers” you guys give…makes my day go by a whole lot faster and keeps me on my toes….lol.
blackfujones
@preston
-MY MAN(daps)
Just goes to dhow males n females see relationships differently.
They say we have double standards but dayum seems they do as well. I dig reina and chelsea and the rest of the women here. Opionated women have become damn near exctinct. Good to see they still exist
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Blackfu
This male friends issue will never die. How do you get into a relationship with ANYONE? You meet them, hang with them, talk on the phone, share interests…etc etc etc. I was being serious before when I said that most women have bedded at least one of the guys they now refer to as friends. And I think Reina was right when she said she wants a potential love interest to be friendly and get to know her first before you make that leap into relationshp and committment. I mean, do you guys just meet strange women in alleys and they miraculously become your wife? Don’t you develop some kind of friendship phase first and then morph into being lovers and partners? I’m just saying. If that’s how you do it, please let a sister know (so I can avoid dark alleys! smile…)
On that same note, not EVERY guy that’s my friend is someone I had an intimate relationship with or someone I’m even interested in. I’m sure most of the men I call myself being friends with have sexual thoughts about me. Hell, I’ve even had to cut some of them off because they tried to use the fact that I leaned on them and felt confortable around them as a way to get me naked. Then I have others that I forget are even of the male species because its such a tight, regular friendship that we have that their sex doesn’t matter.
If you want to be my man, you are GOING to have to be a my friend first. That means someone I can share interests with, confide in, be comfortable around, understand, and relate to. And all that must occur BEFORE you get any of the good good, before you’re hanging around my friends and fam, before I’m looking to you to help me cope thru life…before I give you boyfrind priveleges. Some guys NEVER get past this stage in my life…others do and then it falls apart. And then there’s lucky friggin you…the one I become friends with, fall for and share my life with.
Let me know if men don’t operate like this at all. And I was serious about the dark alley thing…cuz I have no idea how you guys go about picking your relationships (all willy-nilly if you ask me!) lol…
Reina
Hey, hey, hey! No talking about me when I’m not here. And no ganging up on my best friend! Goshdarnit!
Black:
Is being a friend first that hard to fathom? I mean, seriously, in this day and age, who jumps into a relationship? You insinuate that something is wrong with my wanting to know more about a guy than if he’s sexually attracted to me or not? Please, by all means, tell me what’s wrong with relying on something more than physical attraction to define a relationship. Relationships are risks, and there is no way possible to know someone’s every secret and idiosyncracy prior. However, I will make sure that the guy I end up in a relationship with is capable of conversing with me as well as laying the pipe.
And how do you make the connection between that and having male friends while in a relationship, I have no idea. If I’m in a relationship, that’s it! I’m not evaluating the possibility of a relationship with anyone else. If one of my male friends wants me, so be it. I can’t change his mind, and as long as he doesn’t disrespect my relationship, he’ll remain my friend.
Preston, welcome! Now, unlike my bf, I don’t frequent strip clubs. It’s just not my thing, but I don’t begrudge my man that pasttime. I’m not certain what goes through one’s mind while they’re watching chicks gyrate, but I’m sure he isn’t thinking about me. And if he is, he still isn’t getting any. If he wants to get laid that night, he’d best stay at home and let me strip for him.
Reina
Black:
You call me ornery and/or ill-equipped one more time, and I’m going to find out where you live. Strictly because I do not agree with you does not make ill-tempered, vile, or unpleasant. (definition of ornery) And just because I do not approach a relationship in the same fashion as you does not make me ill-equipped to handle one.
Braveheart
It’s been a while since I had time to drop a line or two. Anyway, good lookin’ Preston and Blackfu for holdin’ it. Sorry Blackfu, that u were in there alone for a minute. Trust me bruh, you weren’t deserted. First of all, good post FG. Secondly, let me dive into this, I always stay at the deep end..afloat……now about these clubs, If I went, when I went, I wouldn’t volunteer or say, I’m goin’ to___ I would just go. If she wanted to know where I went, then I’d tell her. Third (Ladies), If you have a problem with me goin’ to a club like that, well, You’ve Got a Job to Do. That’s right, I’ve said it! You have to step up and be that every woman, including the one you don’t want me to see…on stage. Let me break it down for you ladies…..a relationship is supposed to be ALL INCLUSIVE, like a trip or a journey……c’mon now, you know that song by Chaka..I’m every woman! That’s a take on how a man oughta be treated….from a woman’s point of view.
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Braveheart
Hmmm…fresh meat huh (smile…)
I’m MURDERING this post (along with my BFF)..and I think I’m done debating on the strip club issue.
Short and simple…I AGREE WITH YOU! Wholeheartedly. Maybe we should strip more in order to keep our men out of the booty club. Then maybe me and my homegirls can enjoy the strippers without fear of running into our boyfriends in the club! (smile…)
Maybe we should be every woman to our men…but our men should BEND OVER BACKWARDS to do the same for us…that always seems to be a forgotten point in the male logic system. You want a good woman, make sure you deserve her and reciprocate…otherwise go wife “Diamond”. She does it all right?
Braveheart
And as a man, if I’m getting what Chaka says in the song, Some good ‘ol fashioned love”,……(Ladies, I’m giving it too) She Don’t Need To Tell Any Lies……and Neither Do I.
Bahama
PRESTON! you are not coming in here and causing trouble are you? lmao..
tis all
Braveheart
@Chelsea
Oh no, I don’t mean it should be one way. I try to do it all for my woman, believe that! It’s what I’m supposed to do. All I’m sayin’ is….if there’s a problem with me goin’…..here is a solution….and what goes for her…..goes for me too.
Reina
@ Braveheart:
I know I’ve mentioned that if he wanted me to strip, I will. You could put a pole in your bedroom, and I’ll work it. The fact that every guy seems to be missing is that we do NOT mind that you’re going to a strip club. Just understand that when you go, you’ll be masturbating to get rid of that nut.
Braveheart
@Reina,
You’d work it….cool. I wouldn’t NEED to go. Actually, I don’t go to those places anymore. Like I said, if I went, when I went, I didn’t mention it, unless you’d ask. But in response to your last comment, don’t worry, that act (you mentioned) would probably happen before I got home, LMAO!
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@ Reina
Ditto, BFF…
@Braveheart
Nice save
@bahama
yes he is! lol…
Reina
@ Braveheart:
Be brave and post a pic. My BFF and I would like to know whom we’re speaking with. It’s only fair.
Braveheart
@Reina,
Ok, I’m workin’ on it….
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
hey…is anyone checkin out Preston’s blog? His ish is PRICELESS!!! My feelings for you have definitely changed Preston…I’m at work dying laughing, taking notes and texting all my friends with you Ask A Guy questions, and gettin some awesome responses!
carry on!
@Braveheart
work faster! just upload a pic and then make another comment so we can see it! Me and my BFF are gettin impatient!
Leilani
LOL. . .ok Some of those i do own up too. . .like the “No I’m not mad” and I can never keep a straight face. But I don’t mind the strip club, I just go the same night he does, or at least try, amazing how a man will change his mind about naked bodies if your the one looking at them . .. lol. And I never minded paying as long as it was with my man not a casual date.
L
I agree with most but #2. My man is a DJ. I used to go to the clubs with him, but that didn’t work out. So yea, he can go with the guys. He doesn’t go as much (b/c other DJs take him to the low class strip clubs). But come-on, we’re in Atlanta…yes, I hate the Onyx and Body Tap girls…ya’ll making me look bad! :-p
Fresh
I’m so guilty of every lie! I wish my guy would read this so he could understand…he sooo slow sometimes!
Mirth Nadir
It is on fire in here. I love it!!
How long will it take for a girl to offer to pay for a guy? Me and my boys struggle with this system. Some chicks will never offer and wonder why they get kicked to the curb. I dunno.
I do love the strip clubs too. But I only go on like road trips with the fellas.
blackfujones
Hey hey Reina, I was simply saying women have something embedded in them that makes them automatically leery of relationships is all.
Preston
@Chelsea…lol…well how did you feel about me before you saw my site?? Nah, I’m just playin. Thanks for the shout out! I really really appreciate it.
@Reina Thank you too for finding your way over. Much appreciated…
FlyGuy–Great blog with another great post. It got hot in here!!
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Preston
you dont even wanna know…but i enjoy your blog. Me and my BFF Reina I guess!
And you’re more than welcome…
I spits hot fire<–Boondocks reference. 10 pts if you can tell me which episode. (or I bring the heat…whichever you prefer)
Vinandi ( representing the motherland)
@ Chelsea
Girl!!! you are a trip but so honest! love it! cause lets be honest ladies we’ve all been there and said that shit!!!
Chelsea...Not the Girl Next Door
@Vinandi
Thank you very much! Thats what I aim for! ‘Preciate the love mama!
Bombchell
i dont care about the strip club. if it was an everyday thing now thats a problem. id probably be more worried about some female close friend than some chick trying to make a buck.
oh & i dont even pretend to pay. [shrugs] unless its like a birthday or some treat.
what?
LOL @ Bombchell “i dont even pretend to pay. [shrugs] unless its like a birthday or some treat.” that was classic!!!