Fly Perspectives
We Need To Communicate More
You’ve checked back in with me from time to time, and I’ve given you the exact same thing. “She’s In Love With Another Man,” with no new content. You’ve even voiced your concerns to me through private emails, the likes of which were wide-ranging…
“What’s up with you Fly Guy?”
“Come on Fly Guy, I’ve been looking for my daily fix and you haven’t been providing it.”
“Are you okay Fly Guy? Did you get robbed by that vicious gang of midgets that’s been on the news? You know the ones that have been beating people up and stealing their laptops. Is that what happened to you?”
Ok, maybe not the last one, but your concerns were still very real. And what did you get from me in return?
Silence.
But isn’t that what happens far too many times in relationships? You find yourself searching for answers as to what’s going on with the other person, and they offer you nothing to go on. And much like the gangster midget scenario, you begin to let your imagination get the best of you.
Well I don’t want things to be like that within our relationship. (Yes, you and I are engaged in a very intimate relationship where we stimulate each other mentally.) So allow me to reopen the channels of communication between the two of us. My travel schedule has been extremely hectic over the past few days, so instead of half doing my job, I decided to wait until I could give you the Fly Guy that you’ve grown accustomed to. So now that I’m back (although I’m still currently stuck in my hotel in LA getting a little stir crazy) I’d like to stick with this communication issue within the context of romantic relationships.
Today’s Fly Question:
Has communication ever been the main problem within your relationship? If so, tell me what happened, and how things were eventually resolved.
Also, have you ever been guilty of making up your own conclusions when the communication with your loved one was virtually nonexistent? Were you accurate in your assumptions, or were you far off like our midget mafia story from earlier?
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Bmore Baybee
This happened to me before. I thought my bf was cheating on me cuz he was working all the time and always tired. I asked him why all of a sudden he wants to work overtime, and he told me to mind my bizness. Fuck dat. I started snoopin and couldn’t find nothing. I blew up on him though and cussed him out for fucking somebody else. I said yo ass aint working no overtime cuz you don’t look like you makin any more money than you were. So tell me who the bitch is so I can kick both yall ass. He cussed me right back out and threw some tickets at me. This dude was working extra to take me to Miami for my bday cuz I always wanted to go. I felt so stupid. He should have just told me he was tryna surprise me. LMAO
Bahama
Fly Guy you got folks feining like your a drug dealer lmao…as shocking as it may seem i’m not much of a talker, so communication is usually a problem. but i’ve never had to fix it cuz i end up chucking deuces anyway. And heck yea i’ve made assumptions b4, i wouldn’t be a female if i haven’t and some were right and some were wrong.
yes
i get the nonexistent communication a lot, its usually in the beginning stages of a relationship, i make up all kind of theories of what could be goin on but eventually i will just tell myself hes just not that into me and go on my way
i can be the same way so i understand that sometimes when ur getting to know someone after awhile ur not as into the person you’ve gotten to know
chrissy snow
FG, da hell you been???? lol i just had to say that, and communication is never a problem with me and any relationship cause i am that female that NEVER shuts up, now weather or not i am heard, iono but i will communicate my issues with you, and help you to do the same….
The Fly Guy
yeah I know Chrissy. I’ve been between New York and LA over the last week, so my schedule had just gotten kind of crazy. All is back to normal now though. And I would normally have something slick to say about the rest of your response, but you told me that I pick on you sometimes, so I won’t say a thing…lol
chrissy snow
it’s cool FG believe it or not, i like when you pick on me,lol and i was a little lost for the last few days w/o ya posts, glad ya back tho……
Trin-Trin
I’m going thru this now…and i dont know what to think! its driving me crazy…like i keep asking, whats going on…do u still wanna work it out or do u want out? just let me know…cuz this chasing after u aint working…sometimes i get a response and its like yeah…but no calls, when i call, no answer…today i just decided im done. my number aint changing, but if he take too long…oh well :-(
The Fly Guy
@Trin-Trin
I think you need to leave that one alone. As much as I’m always speaking up for my fellas, I can’t do that in this case. He’s stringing you a long, and giving you just enough to keep you around.
chrissy snow
sharing time, i will bug hubby till he tell me what the deal is only cause it make me mad that he think i don’t know him like a book when something is on his mind, he is very quiet, whole facial expression changes, i can see it in his eyes, but if i ask he tell me i am fine sweetheart no prob, but i know it is cause he too damn happy go lucky and joking all the time so when he got issues, i know it but what he will do is wait till like days, sometimes weeks later to tell me what the dealis, or was for that matter, then i ma like THAT WAS 4 DAYS AGO when i asked you what the prob was….so i gotta learn this, to let him tell me in his own time what the deal is cause he will tell me when he ready, that is how he communicates which is silly to me but…..lol
Cherish
yup in my current well my last relationship I would do all the talkin and he would just leave so i would be talkin to myself
Trin-Trin
@ fly guy
oh trust…immediately after i wrote that, i deleted his number, email, all that just so i wont be tempted. when i say i am done…I AM DONE!!! i did feel like he was stringing me along tho…and that i dont need.
dollbaby
FLY GUY help a sista out, I am going through this right now! Me and my boo been seeing eachother seriously for 3 months, but casually dating 10 months and since it got serious, we talk everyday,but since last week it has been every couple days and when I say its weird not talking to him, he says its not that big of a deal. But it is to me. I kind of hate him right now, lol. How do I go about this without being a nag? Because I reguse to allow myself to act like that, if thats not who I am. Anyone can offer advice :)