Usher Deserved It … And So Did I

My ex cheated on me and I swear I wanted to break her neck. I don’t hit women though, but if I did, it wouldn’t have been pretty. I’ve never been so mad in my entire life. Dudes aren’t built to be cheated on. Women can handle it better than we can. That’s why a woman can stay with her man after he’s cheated on her. But a man. Shit, once we find out that you’re cheating, it’s a rap.

@ Taz,

Dude I feel you. I got cheated on once, and I’ll never fully trust a woman again. I think it’s male pride to think that you can never be cheated on. Even if you’re doing your own dirt, you just don’t think she would step out on you.

Wait a minute, i wanna know why it’s so hard for guys to be cheated on and yall do it all the time? That’s a lil baffling to me.

But getting cheated on could be one of the worse feelings in the world

@Bahama,

It messes with our manhood when a woman cheats on us. It’s almost like we weren’t man enough so she had to go elsewhere. Every dude thinks that he is the man. So a woman cheating on him challenges that.

Cosign on what the other fellas have said. It’s different for a man to cheat than a woman. A woman cheating on me is the greatest crime ever. I’d rather her steal from me and fuck up my credit than cheat on me.

@B.C.

That is a bunch of BS if I ever heard it. Even if any of that were true, it still doesn’t excuse a man from cheating on a woman.

What the hell? These are such cop-outs! If you can’t handle being cheated, why do you cheat? And why is it acceptable for a woman to just deal with it but your fragile egos can’t tolerate the thought of another man stroking where you’ve laid claim?

I really like this song. Why isn’t it on the album? I may play it more. To answer the question, I’ve neither cheated or remained in a situation where my guy did step out on me. However, I must embrace that turnabout is fair play. If you can do it, why can’t I?

@Reina, Tell’em why you mad son…lol

MAN PLEASE…. all you men in here tripping the difference in tween yall cheating on us and us cheating on yall is this, we females strong enough to take it and deal with it, yeah so what you laid up and gave it to another chick we females tend to think like this, okay 1, was it just sex if so then we can try to work it out, 2 if you taking money out my house and treating this Scallywag then we gon have to talk about that too, you men are like OMG she gave my s**t to another man i can’t hit that no more, i can’t look @ her as my queen, my better half like i used to cause she a slut, reality check, WE CAN TAKE IT, YALL CAN’T…..that’s the damn difference

I’m not buying it Chrissy. There’s much more to it then us thinking you’re sluts now. And there’s much more to ya’ll taking it than you being stronger than us. I refuse to believe that.

@ Davey Boy, we bout to have a cyber fight? joking… lmao a man just can’t deal with it in the way a female can, yall pride run yall, it’s okay for yall to cheat and come back home, if we do it it’s just a lil harder for yall to accept….just my opinion tho….

It’s almost like we weren’t man enough so she had to go elsewhere
^^^^^^lol Davey Boy, how you think we feel when yall do it?????

Wow what a justification of actions. It hurts you more because it boils down to you not having the best dick? That is why it’s so unforgiveable? Dude, Bye! That is bs. I think that too many women are flat out blinded by love and emotions to leave a cheating man. My daughter is the result of a love triangle I had no idea I was a part of. She and I both got played and hurt. As soon as I found out I left. I don’t need that bullshit in my life. What does she do? She blames it on me and him unable to turn down a young tender and then proceeds to marry him. Whatever light switch goes off in the male brain that causes you to leave a person that hurts you is usually 10 times weaker in the female brain.

Wow. Is that the smell of… double-standards up in here?

How about it’s called, “I want to have my cake and eat it too” and I’ll be damned if I get played like the player I am.

I get that the male ego is oh-so-fragile, but really… the Golden Rule applies here too, fellas – do unto others and you have them do unto you. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

So how many more sayings can I come up with in one post? LOL

FG has created a battle of the sexes today. Bring it on ladies!!!

P.S. if anyone wants to act out this song with me let me know. I don’t mind being the other man. LOL)

Get em songbird!!!!

this is the crap that has me scared of dating. men thinking it is okay for them to cheat on me because my lady ego can handle it.

P.S. if anyone wants to act out this song with me let me know. I don’t mind being the other man. LOL)
^^^^lmmfao i am officially dead offa that B.C.

@songbird why does our ego have to be “oh so fragile”

Why can’t we just be creatures that put up with less than women do. Maybe if you guys left the first time then we wouldn’t cheat as much as we did. It only takes one time with most men. Sounds to me like we are the smarter ones in this.

It’s like a child. If you don’t punish that child when he/she does something wrong , then they never learn the consequences. So I belive that women actually created the problem with cheating men because you tolerate it.

Oh, but the question FG posed…

I’ve been the cheated before, and was EXTREMELY tempted to cheat, just to give him a taste of his own medicine. There were 4 different women that I *knew* about (who knows what I didn’t know), and as much as I wanted to give it back to him as he’d done to me, I just didn’t have it in my heart to be that cruel. I just couldn’t bring myself to stoop that low. However, in retrospect, I wish I did – for 1) he deserved to feel in a fraction of the pain he put me through and 2) damnit, a moment of someone showing me some caring (and some good sex?) would’ve felt pretty damn good (and maybe even helped me see the green grass on the other side and leave him sooner). Sex started to suck with the man… hard to get into it when you’re thinking, “where’d you learn *that* move?”

Ugh. Live and learn.

@songbird,

This isn’t against you personally, but that’s what I’m talking about. You knew about him being with 4 women and stayed with him. You conditioned him to think it was ok to be unfaithful.

Tubbs I agree with you. If more women wouldn’t put up with the ‘baby i’m sorry, it won’t happen again’ and the psychological blame game then yes perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad. but women are very forgiving. we’re taught to be.

It’s like a child. If you don’t punish that child when he/she does something wrong , then they never learn the consequences. So I belive that women actually created the problem with cheating men because you tolerate it.
^^^^^i am gon get stoned fa this by the ladies, but i agree with that, a man is only gonna do what you let him do….

@Ms. Miss

so you feel like women are taught to be forgiving to cheating me?

@ Chrissy Snow…come on over to the dark side…lol

@ Tubbs, so you’re admitting men are like children? You heard it here first, ladies!! LOL!

I think it goes back to FG’s earlier posts about the physical/chemical makeup of our brains, and how we’re physically programmed to think and behave differently.

Women are more emotional, nurturing, understanding, non-confrontational. This would explain why so women try to rationalize an indiscretion and try to find ways to work it out. And men are more combative, territorial, more factual and less emotional, so they tend to not necessarily see the error in their ways and feel very defeated and shamed if their girl cheated.

However, we’ve evolved (hopefully) from our instinctive caveman ways, and should use our brains more often to think about our actions. Men should think more about why they shouldn’t cheat, and women think more about why they shouldn’t accept that behavior.

I think in general the whole ‘forgive and forget’ thing is presented to women a lot. I know just as a child if I had little falling outs with my lil homegirls the teacher would bring us together make us apologize and be friends again. So I think the fact that women may be taught more than men to forgive as children may have a lot to do with a woman forgiving a cheating man. To some people forgiveness = everything goes back to what it was prior to conflict. I think that is where women get it wrong. You can forgive a man for cheating on you because that means you are letting go of all those hurtful emotions. But that doesn’t mean you HAVE to resume the relationship, it means you have every right to end it at that point.

@ Chrissy Snow…come on over to the dark side…lol
^^^^@ Davey Boy, is that an invite? lol

@ Tubbs, I’m not taking it personally at all. And I completely agree that I didn’t handle my situation correctly. Live and Learn, as I said. I was young, stupid, very impressionable and insecure. A lot of that had to do with why I accepted it for as long as I did. But I’m older and wiser now…

@Chrissy Snow… consider yourself invited…lol

@songbird,

No that’s not what I’m saying. We aren’t like children. But that ws the best example I could think of. Anytime you allow something to be done without consequences, the act then becomes reinforced. That’s almost like if we stopped punishing people for crime. Hell, the only thing stopping some of us from assaulting our boss at work is the threat of punishment…LMAO

To answer FG original question I was in ONE relationship where I was knowingly getting cheated on. He didn’t know that I knew though. So I started cheating on him. Between the two of them I had the one perfect man. After a while it got tired, I didn’t feel bad about my actions and didn’t care who he was creeping on. At that point I was so numb emotionally I just let both of them go.

@ Davey Boy, cool, lol i feel special now….

but imma still say men can’t take they own medicine, taste nasty as hell going down when somebody else spooning it up fa ya…..

Anytime you allow something to be done without consequences, the act then becomes reinforced. That’s almost like if we stopped punishing people for crime. Hell, the only thing stopping some of us from assaulting our boss at work is the threat of punishment…LMAO

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
very true.

@ Tubbs, you know I’m just messing with you on that one.. you left yourself open!

I agree, that the cheatee should enforce consequences… but it does not end there. The cheater (or soon to be) should think about his actions more thoroughly and consider the ramifications – even if the threat of her leaving isn’t there, he should have enough decency to understand the pain he’s about to put her through and choose to not go there. Men do still need to take responsibility for their actions and use their head on their shoulders more.

I don’t think this should turn into a bash session of men. I think we can all agree that both sides have problems with infidelity. We just seem to have different ways of dealing with it. Regardless of what that way is, it never feels good to be cheated on … no matter who you are. Hopefully as Sondbird suggested, both sides can begin to think not only about the possible consequences of their actions, but also how it will affect the other person.

Darnit! I missed all the fun. Damn meetings.

FG you’re like a principal busting up a good fight.

Damnit to hell, see what happens when i actually do work? i miss all the fun! Never again, lol

So what i gather is men can’t take it when a woman cheats cuz they feel less manly? SOOOOO why don’t they think about that before they cheat? I know, i’m not saying all men but 99.999999% of you all cheat. LOL

@Reina and Bahama
Yeah, jobs suck. We were going for blood up in here and you missed it. The men won of course…oh, and none of you women should get mad at me saying that since “women are taught to be more forgiving.”

Hey that’s you guys’ quote, not mine.

@Ms. Miss,

I’m not trying to bust up any fight. I just want both sides to be honest. It’s not just men cheating, and it’s not just women taking. Both sides happen to the best of us

@ Davey you do know if i was here the feamles woulda won right? and forgiving my a double s…i guess i’m not a female then, lol

@Bahama…what difference would you have made?

I forgive, but I also forget as in deleting him from my life. You’ll only play Reina for a fool once. I just believe that no one should dish what they can’t swallow.

Excuse me? you must not know who u talking to? The queen of male bashing (FG you better tell em!! lol) and besides i’m the 7th letter of the alphabet and i don’t like to lose…lmao

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LEAVE YALL GET ALL OUTTA HAND, GOT FG READY TO KICK US ALL OUT LMAO I MUST SAY THO THIS IS A VERY GOOD DEBATE….

i think it all boils down to this, everyone just needs to be satisfied with who and what they got.

if you’re not satisfied with what you have discuss it or find something new.

PREACH IT LADIES….LOL

I was actually waiting on your co-sign…lol. Glad you didn’t disappoint me.

So ladies, why do you guys act like you guys have it SOOOOOOO figured out when it comes to relationships? Sometimes that preachy stuff is what turns us guys off. I’m just saying

that’s my goal, i got it on a sticky note on my desk NEVER DISAPPOINT FG, lol

@ Ms. Miss and that is where men have a problem, they can’t talk about it and they don’t want you going nowhere else either

and whatever FG! lol

Oh lord. I can’t even reply to that, B.C.

B.C. i am really just an instigator, i am really in no way able to answer any of these questions, voice my thoughts on anything cause i am cool right now, lol so i am not preaching, i am just kinda co-signin with the females is all….

@BC

What’s preachy? Having standards and refusing to accept BS?

@ songbird. Why can’t you answer? We’re just having an honest debate right? I’m just curious. Because on these types of sites, it’s always mostly women on here talking about it like they are the experts. Now I’m not speaking about ya’ll because I love eveyrone on FG’s site. I’m just wondering when did everyone get so preachy about why men are wrong and women are right.

@Reina,

Preachy is stating your case over and over again, to the point where you are too busy preachy to see that it’s not just a one-sided issue. Women act like they are saints and men are full of shit, and that’s not a fair assessment. That’s all I’m saying. Maybe if less preaching and more listening took place, then maybe w would actually make some progress.

Women act like they are saints and men are full of shit, and that’s not a fair assessment
^^^^^ i am lost i don’t think any of us said this B.C.

You don’t have to come out and say it. By jumping on the male bashing bandwagon without admitting your own faults, you’re essentially implying that men are always the guilty part and women are always the victims. I’ll be the first to admit that we do our dirt, and may times it doesn’t make sense. But I also know that I’ve personally been hurt more by women than I have hurt women. But nobody talks about the flip side. That’s all I’m saying.

@ BC

I’m not going to re-read 60 posts, but I don’t recall anyone saying that. It was implied that it was okay for men to cheat because women are equipped to handle it. I call BS. It’s not okay for ANYONE to cheat, easily forgiving or not. There are too many STDs out there for anyone to disrespect someone they care about or themselves. If he/she aren’t being satisfied, be on your merry way.

@B.C., it’s the way you worded the question. FG brought the peace, and it sounded like you were ready to start it back up again! LOL!

Are you generalizing? Who here gave you the impression women had it “SOOOOOOO figured out when it comes to relationships?”

I can only speak for myself in saying that no, I don’t claim to know everything. I can only speak on what my life experiences and observations have taught me. As you said, this forum is an honest debate; and a part of debate is each side proving their point, right or wrong. It’s the purpose of the debate to figure out which is which.

Women tend to be more vocal about their thoughts and opinions; so if you disagree with what’s being said, by all means… debate it! We’re here to listen!

well B.C. i am not gonna bash you, imma give you a cyber hug since you have been hurt, lol the end, now imma just read the comments….

And off rides Chrissy Snow into the night. LMAO

lmao @ Tubbs, well i really have nothing significant to say so imma just read….so i am here, just being quiet and reading is all…

B.C you talking bout me?? lol hell i know i got issues, i snore loudly, i’m a optimist that has pessimistic tendancies,i’m habitually sarcastic and ditzy as hell(all things that could make for a horible relationship w/ ne1,lol) but does not negate the fact that most men ain’t ish.

And women don’t preach we just try to enlight’n and bring you into our world..

lmao @ my partner well bammy i gotta beg to differ cause all the things you listed as your issues are mine and hubby love me (i am guessing) matter fact my ditziness is cute to him so i bet it’s a man out there that would love to date ya snoring ditzy self…..one married me so i know it’s possible

man, there’s so much that I could have said right there…lol. I’m getting better at this.

chrissy see i know we had alot in common, lmao…and it sure is taking me long to find someone that aprreciates my ditzyness..lol!!!

lmao @ FG, yeah you getting better @ not picking on me as much i will give you that…..but you still single me out….

lol bammy, i swear when you find him keep him cause men like oh iono FG can’t appreciate women like us that snore….and are ditzy, and sarcastic and got a smart mouth….

dammit, I forgot that part. Where is my pad? I need to write this stuff down

What you trying to say FG?? LMAO

lmao gawd FG you slay me….

@ Bahama, Absolutely nothing. I’m going to stop giving you and your partner in crime such a hard time…lol

LMAO!! if he ever comes i’ll be sure to hold on tight..and LOL you to should write a book, lmao

naw FG we like the hard time you give us don’t we bammy,

and WE can write a book the single chick and the married chick laws on love something like that iono may work our blog did so ya never know….lol

If you two write a book, I wouldn’t just pay money to read it, I’d pay money to sit in our your brainstorming sessions just so I can listen…lol

Chrissy i likes that idea!!! we have a post for monday!! lmao

@FG LOL… trust me our brainstorming sessions would be pure comedy, lmao..you’d get your moneys worth

geez. see what I miss when I get hard at work? happy friday everyone!

forget all that, my problem is when men wanna take that shit on the next chick

cuz one chick cheats on you you cant trust no other woman? now thats weak

I’m gonna need for all the dudes in this post [except for the Fly Guy] to man up and then shut up … Also, I agree Reina – a lot of the songs which didn’t make the album are great like “Chivalry” and “Doin The Most”

I like this song…The hurt never really goes anywhere whther you forgive the person it’ll always be there in the back of your mind. trust is *swoosh* out that window.