Too Strong For My Man?Aug 7th, 2008 | Author: admin | Category: Fly Letters
Hey Fly Guy,
I have a question for you. I’m in a relationship with a great guy, and I love him to death. But he has an issue with me. His issue is, well, the fact that I’m as strong as some guys, if not stronger. I can bench close to 200 and I’m a weight fanatic. The other day, he made a comment about my weight belt, which I happened to be carrying because I was going to the gym. But I also happened to be wearing a dress (I was coming from work). I took offense, because it seems like he has a serious problem with this. He made an offhand comment about how he likes to be the man in the relationship. I was upset at that. I mean, it’s not like I go around tossing Toyotas. I make no apologies for the woman I am. I’m a damn good woman. I cook, I’m well read, I’m educated, and I have a few dollars in the bank. I’m a typical girl, in that I’m a shoe fanatic (love my 4 inch heels), I like make up, I like to shop and I like to wear dresses. Maybe I’m taking it the wrong way or something. I’m not sure how to handle this. I don’t believe strength should or does in anyway detract from my femininity.
Fit and Frustrated
Dear Fit and Frustrated,
I think you’re just fine the way you are. You seem to possess a healthy balance between your femininity and your desire to stay in great shape. Listen, no matter how he tries to make you feel, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being physically fit. You know, your story reminds me of the time I used to manage Diddy. He was doing just fine being a “producer” but no … he kept feeling the pressure from the outside world to be a rapper too. And we all know how that turned out. (His last album should have been called “Press Stop” instead.)
My point behind the random Diddy reference is this: You can’t let anyone else dictate who you are, and how you should live your life. Your boyfriend’s insecurities have little to do with you, and everything to do with him. So try having an honest conversation with him to get to the root of his issues. If you find out that he isn’t man enough to deal with a girlfriend who can probably kick his ass, then you need to find a man who can. But don’t apologize for you who are, or change just to appease someone who’s obviously being petty. Stay strong and stay encouraged.
The Fly Guy
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