I'm A Cheating Man

Knowing that men like this that exists breaks my heart. I can only hope that I don’t fall for one of these cheating men.

I really like the song though, and as always, you set the song up perfectly FG. I am falling in love with your writing more and more.

Powerful stuff. Ill be the first to agree with u bc I’m a married man and even tho I haven’t physically cheated mentally I have since I’ve been married. Even before I was married it was something I wrestled with. I really don’t know what it is either I just can’t seem to be content with just one woman. Funny thing is women don’t seem to mind my marriage at all,some find it convenient,some find it risque,and some just overlook it all together. Lord knows I wish I could be 100% faithfull yet in my mind its know way at all. And I know for a fact its a lot of men out here who feel just like me.

Damn you pulled my card FG. I swear everytime I come to this site, you be reading me. I gotta do better. True story.

See? last time I commented on cheaters i got in trouble..so i’mma stay mute,lol. But how could you be a good man but be a cheating man? It’s a pretty song though.

Its very possible to be a good man yet who cheats or has cheated before. Really its as if I’m overwhelmed by women who try to come at me. Women who know I’m married,and even know my wife. And some have hit me right when me and her were at a rocky point n our lives

@ blackfujones why did you get married then if you know you can’t be faithful?

I like this guy’s voice, but I’m unmoved by his longing, pleading one. I find a “good, cheating man” to be a paradox. I can’t see you as a good man when you’re cheating on me. The two are exclusive.

My daughters father is like this. His Mom had 3 sons b 3 different men. I don’t believe that he had ever been faithful to me as many times as he said that he loved me. I know that he loves me and he is a good man, but I can’t be with anyone who feels like they can’t control themselves. I feel bad cuz I know he had a rough chilhood, but there’s only so much I can take…I don’t know what else I could do, I suggested counseling but he says that we should figure it out ourselves…

why blackfujones ain’t answer my dang question yet lol

My ex fiance was just as you described. He honestly thought he was a good man, despite this “flaw”. I feel sorry for him; he honestly goes through life thinking the world has done him wrong, instead of seeing that his actions were what brought trouble into his life. His excuses for cheating were always something about this other girl giving him the attention he needed at a time we were low because of arguments, rough patch, whatever. He truly believed (not just kicking game to mess with my head, but really did think this) that it’s my fault I got cheated on, because I wasn’t giving him what he needed at that moment. Because he’s a good man, and that should be all I need. To this day he still seeks side relationships despite having a wife & new baby at home. I think he’s looking for something that doesn’t exist, and at the same time subconsciously sabotaging his marriage because he’s got deep-seeded feelings that he’s not deserving. Anyway… Just as FG and others said, he was raised in a single-parent house, mom was actually dad’s jump-off who gave him 2 kids… he got married and had another life 1,000 miles away. Since then mom’s been dating nothing but sorry-ass losers and been treated shitty for as long as he can remember.

I think counseling is in order. It’s an oxymoron to be a good man, yet unfaithful. It’s like saying, “he’s a good employee, yet he embezzled a million dollars from the company”. Yeah, real good.

I disagree with the ladies. I personally think its possible to be a good man but a cheater. One flaw does not erase all of the good that you represent. Now maybe I can agree with it doesn’t make you a good man for relationships, but you can still be a good man and cheat.

@ B.C. you disagree on purpose all the time, i swear you do, lol cause every topic you always the opposite of whatever the majority in here says….

@ B.C. – if you’re talking in the big picture, Yes – Kobe Bryant is a good man compared to Saddam Hussein. But we’re talking specifically in the realm of relationships. The #1 thing everyone agrees is necessary for a relationship to succeed is trust. Once that’s killed, you can put your girl on a pedestal & give her the world, but if she knows you’re full of shit when you say you’re gonna be late tonight cuz you’re hanging with the fellas, well then you’ve got nothing, and nothing you can do can make up for your creeping.

someone say Kobe Bryant? lol

but I agree you can’t be a good man and be a cheater, that’s an oxymoron. A good man would know that cheating is gone hurt some feelings and if he’s a “good” man he wouldn’t do that.

Can a woman be a good woman, but cheat? I don’t think any fellas would answer in the affirmative. You can still be a basically good person, but cheat. Maybe a good man, in the sense of a male member of society. But NOT a good man, as in half of a romantic relationship. The ladies are not hating when we say you can’t be a cheater and a good man, because in this context, that assertion is absolutely correct.

These type of men are called HONEST CHEATERS.I met one before and fell in love with him and understood his flaw, he was a good man all around, then he realized his flaw and he tried to change it , he just surpressed it for a while .I pray for him everyday even though we are not together.Deep down I know his heart ,but sometimes knowing is not enough

Lol…I’m not always trying to disagree. I’m just saying. One character flaw doesn’t destroy all of the good that a man does. I get what you guys are saying though and I’m glad you qualified it. I can agree more now…but before when it was just “he’s the devil” I couldn’t get with you.

@ B.C. i never said yall were the devil, alot of the times i agree with you, i just can’t let you know that…..lol

I don’t think you can be a good person and still cheat, male or female. Doing something that will knowingly hurt someone does not make you a good person. That’s like saying I’m a good person, even though I mentally abuse you at the same time.

Ok. Seriously, you definitely cannot be a good man and a cheater as the others stated it’s impossible. A good man instead of cheating would let a woman go before he hurts her. A cheater is a selfish person who in that moment that he is cheating is only considering himself not the person he is hurting. A good man would work twice as hard everyday to NOT cheat..that is what makes him a good man. Ever heard of Donnell Jones – Where I want to be?

Lol. Chrissy I was working. Why did I get married? Bc we were ready to go to the next level. I won’t make excuses for the things I did bc I feel excuses are tools of incompentence. I cheated to make up for the things I wasn’t getting. Example:I’m the cook of the house,and the main provider. At times its nice to be catered to,in which my wife finds to be weak of a woman to be submissive. But nowadays counseling(which more people should do) is helping. These days I confide in myself and not other women

And as a male I know I am a good man. However before I ever got involved with anyone I told them that they may believe I “suck” and if u want to deal with my past then so be it. Like I said counseling helps and communication as well. Thing is can u all say u can mentally/spiritually/sexually in tune with one person your whole lives?
Bc I know a whole gang of young and old couples who will tell you otherwise

@flava
And u really believe women will stay away from you after u told them about your past or what u may do?
Newsflash people women will stay around regardless. Even if u believe me or not

@ blackfujones i have no clue where to start with yo ass, lmao seriously i wanna read you but i am just too shocked by the things you have said let me start here tho, so you telling me you cheated on ya wife cause she ain’t cook and bring you ya plate like a submissive wife is supposed to do?

that cater thing goes both ways, now i will say it in a hot ass second, i am old school, and i do all the things i think my husband is DESERVING OF if he act like the king of his castle then hell yeah imma treat him like one…..

just explain ya’self tho blackfu, i am interested in hearing what you gotta say back to me, lol

@FG, I would really like to hear ur response to my comment, this is a situation I’m going thru now and I don’t know what to do…

People change so yes, a man who’s cheated before can become a good man. In the song, he says he IS a cheating man, not WAS. A man cannot, however, be viewed as such while he’s cheating. Period.

@Blackfu

SOME women will stay around.

What’s everyone. I’m writing this through my phone so it will be brief. I just wanted to apologize for not being a part of the discussion today. I am actually in the airport right now on my way to LA.

A small group of us have been asked to have a meeting with Al Sharpton in the morning on some pressing community issues. I’m not sure what to expect from it all, but I’m holding out hope that we will be able to convince Al to get rid of his perm once and for all. (I know, I’m excited about that too.)

So keep me in your prayers, as prayer may be the only thing capable of releasing him from the clutches of that “Just For Me” demon…lol.

Naw, but seriously though, I’m headed to LA to interview Tyler Perry, Taraji Henson, and Sanaa Lathan for their new movie. As soon as I get in front of a computer I will add my two cents.

But please keep the discussion going. And ladies, don’t hurt the fellas too bad, although they seem to be holding their own. I like that…lol

@ what…I will definitely give my perspective. Thank you for asking.

Well peeps, it’s time for me to go. I’ll catch up with you guys later. Be good. (And I though that was going to be brief.)

Thanks FG I look forward to hearing what u got to say:-)

tsk tsk

i personally believe people who cheat intended to cheat, and were aware they would hurt their partners. simple. But they should just admit it

I tried to listen FG, but I couldn’t get pass all that moaning he was doing at the beginning. Sorry! I’ll try later.

Wow@chrissy. Hence y I don’t like using the word submissive bc women today equate that to some sort of bad thing. I stated that for a long time I would compensate what my then girlfriend wasn’t doing with other women. So if my woman “who does hate to cook” doesn’t want to cook than I’ll go elsewhere. And if folks wouldve read my font u wouldve seen that I’m the cook of the house. So when I want a nite off from cooking I still end up doing it. But that was then and this is now. Lol@reading me. Really chrissy u dislike me that bad ayeav

And really I believe its two types of cheaters. Those who cheat for thrill,and those who cheat to compensate for certain things. I won’t blame it on my past however a person who cheated on me sort of made me this way. But I told my wife before that I was damaged goods n we went from there

Cheating is fine heh, everyone does it. I do it all the time woman after woman

@ blackfujones, i resent that, lol how imma dislike you, i don’t know you…..we cool, and if i come in here and cyber see you again imma give you a cyber hug cause i am a cyber flirt and i want you to feel cyber better lol

see chrissy i told you your flirting was gone get you in trouble…yup

The song is very powerful. Cheating men, women just people. We need the self control. If my SO came to me saying he’s a cheating man I’d want him to admit it and then be able to say that he’s doing 1000% to change it and be with me.

That song has soooo many contradictions! He is a good man, but a cheating man? Dont want to hurt you but wont stop cheating? Saw his daddy hurting his pretty momma but yet he went ahead and and did it too? Is’nt that an excuse for the sons repeating the sins of the father? You are what you choose to become,the same with cheating, it is somethin you can walk away from, you just choose not too…

lol bammy maybe i should go to like rehab for chronic flirters or something

@chrissy.
O brother lol. Already n counseling,now I gotta have another session. Damn

I’m going to side with the guys on this one. There are good cheating men out there. As stupid as it may sound I actually understand it. If a man take cares of his business and make sure what needs to be handle gets handle, then that a good man right? But if he cheats he’s all of sudden everything else goes out the window? I’m not saying to overlook him cheating, just that cheating doesn’t make you a bad person.

lmao @ blackfujones

I think that there are different types of cheating men out there and that some of those same men can be “good” men. I guess what ultimately makes a man “good” is defined by the person on the receiving end of the lies and deception.

If my man treats me well, we have what I perceive as a solid relationship/friendship, he’s good to our family/kids and all that other stuff, but he succumbs to lustful temptation one time, there’s a possiblity that something in the lines of communication between US broke down and he may be trying to get something I’m not giving him from someone else. In that case, WE need to come together and figure out where I’m lacking and where he’s failing.

Using that same scenario, if he’s CONSTANTLY out there hoeing, it’s all on HIM and he’s the one that needs help. That doesn’t mean he’s not a good man. It just means he’s not a good man for me.

I think you can be a good person and cheat the first time.(Depending on the scenario) You screw up and you learn, mistakes are made sometimes. But the fourth time etc. or next relationship you know exactly what your in for, you know the repercussions and the pain you’ll cause. And you CHOOSE to do so. Mistakes are not habitual. Once something becomes a regular occurrence it’s a behavior. Habitual cheating is a behavior and that speaks to the type of person you are. You are choosing to disregard the fidelity you were supposedly giving to someone else. If you stole a candy bar at sixteen, were you a thief? The law would say yes. But most people would say no. If you robbed six banks and have a basement full of boosted merchandise, that maybe a little different situation.
Each individual person has their own definition of a good man/woman It seems silly to me to break apart the term “good man” into categories, or separate that characterization from “relationships”. Your a good man in your career because you work hard, your accountable and can be depended on but in your romantic life your a liar…still a good man? Not buying it. If your a good man to your family you would have to be a good man to your wife AND your mother. But that’s my opinion.

Let’s say your on a date and your asked to explain why your a good woman and while listing your coveted qualities you say,”I do have a small problem being faithful, but doesn’t all that other stuff I just said, balance that out?” Cheating is lying and lying is a character issue. Does your character not play into your good man/woman status?

Keep it at home or stay single people. Hope that didn’t come off as a rant, I didn’t mean for it to.