Fly Letters
Dealing With Past Relationships
Dear Fly Guy,
I want to thank you for all of the help you’ve offered me over the past couple of years. I’ve noticed that the people on your site are very vocal about their opinions on love and relationships. Can you pose this question to them from me?
Am I the only one who has a problem dealing with the emotions of past relationships? I often find myself full of regret, hurt, frustration and a host of other emotions, both good and bad. What makes it even worse is if I see them out with someone else, and they look happier than they did when they were with me. Then all types of emotions bubble to the surface, and I’m literally a wreck for days on end.
Well anyway, if you could ask them that question, and get their feedback, I’d really appreciate it. I want to know if there are other people out there like me, or if I really am just a habitual over thinker. Thanks Fly Guy. Your site has really been such a big help to me. God bless you.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
**Ok Fly Guy readers; you know what you have to do. Help your fellow reader out, by offering your take on her dilemma. If you’ve never commented before, there’s no better time than the present.
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Tawanna
I completely understand the feelings you have. My past relationships have really taken a tole on me. I was talking to my Ex on the phone a couple of weeks ago and his girlfriend was in the room. He made a joke and they both laughed. Instantly I begin to feel depressed thinking of how he and I use to laugh at his dumb jokes. I’m not sure how to shake the feeling other than cutting off complete contact with my ex.
Bahama
I think everyone goes through that though. You get to know someone and you develop some kind of feelings for them, so when the relationship fails it’s gonna hurt when you see them having fun without you and continuing to live life with someone else. And trust me, you are not alone in the over-thinking business…
Tati
I’m going to need that woman in the photo to deal with sitting at a table with her legs wide open and a dress on.
I can’t even focus on anything else, that pisses me off so much.
quietone
Hey there…You are not alone and it will take time to heal. And yes, even more difficult if you see them enjoying time spent with someone else. Give yourself time to grieve, but also give yourself time to enjoy yourself, your friends, your family. Eventually you will be okay and those feelings will be only a memory. And once you’re feeling strong, take an objective look at the past relationship to see where the lessons are…where the growth is. Take care…
A SMART CHICK.
4 WORDS :
LIVE IN THE “NOW”.
__________________________
Most women find it hard to get over past relationships, because they spent the “present” obsessing over the “past”, thus making it harder to see your “future” right in front of you.
Stop wonder “what did I do wrong?”, “what could I have done different?” and just MOVE ON. Simply put.
There are some relationships that ended that may make no sense to you. If thats the case, then maybe the breakup had nothing to do with you or your actions at all. Love is something thats rare because, often when people are together, they are not on the same emotional page. And THATS how you end up seeing a lot of women in love with men who couldn’t give two fux about you. Trust me, I’VE BEEN THERE. If the feeling isn’t mutual, then keep it moving my love. How you gonna see the stand up guy if you keep looking back at the “I need to man up” guy ????
yaddamean?
God Bless. <3333
GW
I can understand about thinking about past relationships. Fly Guy, has any woman ever contacted you after the relationship was over to find out where she went wrong? Did you respond or ignore her request. I was dating someone and everything was going well in my eyes and suddenly the communication stopped. I called and left a message to return my phone call, I texted him (not all in the same day or incessantly) and then I finally gave up. But I really wanted to know where things went wrong, what did I do or say, why did things suddenly change. We went out one day, talked on the phone every day afterwards then nothing. I wanted his feedback on things. How can I know what guys don’t like, if guys won’t tell me?
Cece
I’ve been going through the same thing recently, I was dating this guy for a while and I finally “Let Go” of all my past relationships and decided this was the one I wanted to be with;needless to say he had other plans which left me a total wreck. I called/texted no reply so he texted me out the blue one day I didn’t reply so days later I called and he was with his “girlfriend” my heart fell to the floor I wanted to cry,but I couldn’t honestly I was relieved I started working on MYSELF!!, things happen for a reason people are brought into your life sometimes just for a season. I just want you to know that there is nothing worng with you GOD has his plan for you and your perfect mate! so don’t stress your Mr. Right is coming just “LET GO” and “Let GOD”
Ms. Shawna
Im going through this exact thing right now. My ex is getting married to another woman next year. We tried to work things out a few months ago and things were going good…At least that’s what I thought, until he flipped the script and stopped calling. I received a message from him on myspace about a month later and that’s when it came to light that he’s getting married. I’m still hurt and undeniably bitter towards him. I’ve changed my number and I am ceasing all communication with him. I’m currently looking towards a future that doesn’t involve me in a relationship, but what I want out of life. Hopefully before I know it love will come. From the right one that is! That’s the only way I know how to move on, so that my only suggestion to you:)