Is this a real scenario, or are you just setting the scene FG?

That is a really great song. I have to admit that I have gone through that exact situation before. I met this great guy, who wanted me to be his queen. But I was still dealing with my ex, and couldn’t fully open myself to the new guy. Eventually I had to tell him what the deal was, and I probably ending up losing the sweetest guy that I’ve ever known. I think about him from time to time, but I’ll never call him. He probably hates me. Anyway great post FG.

@BC,

No this isn’t a personal scenario. When I first heard the song, it instantly made me think of the many “good men” who consistently get overlooked by woman who are still hung up on a guy that probably isn’t even good for them in the first place. It’s a classic story that I see all the time. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve never given much credence to the “all the good men are taken” argument. Sometimes, women miss the good ones right in front of them, because they are so busy being focused on the bad ones. I had to speak up for those men who get left behind in the process.

This is a sad song.

I have been in this situation. Recently. I wasn’t in love with the guy, but the pull he had on me was strong and potent. Though I knew I deserved better, it took awhile to convince myself to actually go and obtain it. Meanwhile, I had to let a good man fall by the wayside because he wasn’t what I wanted.

Did u make this up, or did this happen to u or one of ur friends?

This happened to me once. The girl couldnt get past an ex and left me hanging.

Fast forward a few years later, she is divorced and has a daughter with this guy.

And now…she is trying to get in contact with me.

I am involved in a serious and great relationship now, so, she messed out on her chance.

There are no hard feelings, but, ladies, when you find a good one, you better hold onto him (same for men).

Good afternoon everyone!

YUP! Been there and done that!
At the time, yes I was kicking my feet because he married someone else.

But with maturity and a little added wisdom I realized that I learned a lot from that relationship about love and ultimately about me. That good man and that situation was just a part of growth and it helped prepare me for “MY” good man.

Wow, that song had me crying. I’ve been there and I am still letting go. I’m just glad that I never passed anyone up for him. Ladies, please don’t get involved with a man knowing you are still emotionally attached to another.

I’m going thru this right now….I think about it alot. Weigh the pros and cons. The one I’m in love with is TELLING me to go to the dude I like even though we are in love. He says I deserve to see what can happen since he knows he hurt me and cannot give me the promise that he won’t hurt me again. His chivalry in this matter doesn’t make it easier. He has assured me that he is not getting rid of me but he wants to ultimately see me happy and if happiness is without him, he’ll deal :(
New Dude. He seems great. amazing actually.But its still early on. 4months in. He is going thru a couple of things in his life but always takes time to make sure I’m ok. I haven’t told him that I’m still in love with my ex. He knows we speak but doesn’t say much about it. He feels that I am the best woman he’s ever met. He lives out of state. I’m seeing him next weekend.
I was with my ex for 5yrs. New guy for 4mths. I look at ALL new relationships with apprehension so it’s more than just my ex. It will take me awhile to see if that is where I want to be anyway…I don’t cry about this but it does make me think. I don’t want to make the wrong choice. I’m still trying to listen to my heart AND my mind and hope that it leads me to the right place…

I am going through this actually with my ex, am the one he is loosing out on. And his family keeps saying that they hopes he gets it together before it is to late. I love him. But I have cut all ties and now looking for a place to move to to keep from running into him. Even driving past him makes my emotions flip.
Sometime we do loose because we are so busy looking and what we are looking for is right before our eyes. I pray daily and this is what helps me get over and get pass the hurt and pain.

I’m with someone I’ve been w/ for yrs that I just love and I have a guy that thinks the world of me. If I so much as mention something I need or want I he takes care of it. Anyway I don’t like him romantically but its not becuz of the other guy. I’m just not that into him. Which sucks. Also I secretly think he’s like j lo husband in that movie enough.

everyday i think about how this is gonna one day happen to me. well to him really. i don’t even know what to do about it.

I am going through that right now.. It is so hard. My heart is telling me to give the guy a try…

That is a extremely sad song for any good man to heard however that Jasmine that girl has a wonderful voice I love the song.

Embarrassingly yes. I was so caught up with emotions of a complete loser that treated me like shit that I practically kicked out this wonderful man from my life. A man that cared about my mind and emotions more than any other man has before and since. By the time I was ready for him he had moved on and didn’t want to backtrack to get to what we previously had.

Twice in my life I’ve had to sit through that conversation, and what made matters worse was the fact that the 2 different guys they were ditching me for share the same name.

I can’t hear that name or meet somebody with that name without wanting to break something.

I have been in love with this song ever since I first heard it. I wsant to hate it but she kills it. Fortunately I haven’t had to go through that scenario. It would probably break my heart to hear those words

I dated other dudes but always came full circle with my ex, he spent 2 and a half years proving to me how good he could treat me only to dumb me cause he was not sure if i would hurt him again, still dealing with the hurt and confusion and just started allowing another into my head and heart and it feels great, i dont think i can deal with seeing him anytime soon and i’m so thankful that he is no longer based in this country and we wont EVER run into each other. The new guy… not gonna let that man go, he is my ideal definition of what my “shrek” should be.

Nice post FG. I hit on the same thing in one of our “Ask A Guy” segments. All the good guys aren’t taken…they’re just being overlooked…

“Since this section is called “Ask A Guy”, the answers are obviously geared toward the women who inquired. However, in this case the reverse is also very true. There are some good dudes out there who get cheated on because there immature girlfriend couldn’t shake the spell of her last loser boyfriend or the drug dealer from her neighborhood she never got to fuck. I’m just sayin…”

Everyday it’s this constant nagging feeling that I feel and it hurts. I always think to myself finally she has let her past go but I come to the realization that my life does ever work out that easily. Why is she still in love with this man? For eight months ive known you and for six almost seven I have tired to look past your past. I mean if he is the “cats meow” than why did you ever; cheat, constantly break up and fight with him. You tell me that I was or am, your prince charming but I so want to connect on more than just a physical level. I want so much more, it’s like I’m thirst, to connect and commit on a emotional, spiritual, and intellectual level. I want to give of myself to you but I continue to be kept at an arm’s distant. If its not one thing that reminds her of him its another and no its not verbalized but it is written on her face. Every time you go back home and I am not invited my heart drops. Then when I ask you about the trip I get half of the story. Its not fair I am open and honest with her but its reciprocated. This last time she went back and then came back here she was acting different and why do you think. Because her past is still in her life and finally told me he probably always will be. How do you move forward if you are holding on to your past? You say that your family still invites him over to the house and he still hangs out with you like everything is cool. I don’t understand it I don’t question it and I refuse to make someone do something they don’t want to do. But I just want to be enough for you. I want this relationship to be different from any other relationship that you have ever had. Maybe I am misguided in wanting you to distant yourself from him, but can you blame me? For seven years you all have been off and on. So what do I do because I don’t see us moving forward. My pursuit of this relationship do I just stop or should I continue on waiting for her to open not only her eyes but her heart? Love doesn’t come around everyday but people say that you will know when its right…

Everyday it’s this constant nagging feeling that I feel and it hurts. I always think to myself finally she has let her past go. But I’ve come to the realization that my life doesn’t ever work out that easily. Why is she still in love with her past? For eight months I’ve known you… and for six almost seven I have tired to look past your past. I mean if he is the “cats meow” than why did you ever leave your past but then again I guess you haven’t and that’s why I am writing this. You tell me that I am your prince charming. But where is the connection? Is there more than just a physical attraction? I want so much more, I’m thirsty, I want to connect and commit on an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual level. I want to give myself to you but I continue to be kept at an arm’s distant. If it’s not one thing that reminds you of him it’s another. Not always verbalized but it is written on her face. Every time you go back home and I am not invited my heart drops. Then when I ask you about the trip I get half of the story. It’s not fair I am open and honest with you but it’s reciprocated. This last time she went back home and then came back she was acting different. Her past is constantly in her life and she finally told me he probably always will be. How do you move forward if you are holding on to your past? You say that your family still invites him over to the house and he still hangs out with you like everything is cool. I don’t understand it, I don’t question it and I refuse to make someone do something they don’t want to do. But I just want to be enough for you. I want this relationship to be different. Maybe I am misguided in wanting you to distant yourself from him, but can you blame me? For seven years you have been off and on with your past.

Check out the website link I posted. It will describe this exact situation that I am in. It hurts so bad because I one day pictured marrying her.

Link: http://www.consciousloving.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18230

i went through this last year. i met someone that i thought i was going to leave my boyfriend for. i couldnt understand what it was about this guy that had me coming back. i struggled with my feelings for a year. i didn’t leave my boyfriend for him though… i am happy with my decision but i am still letting go.

I’m going through this right NOW!!!I found this song on You Tube and said to myself, this is exactly what I’m going through. The thing is I’m married, the other guy has a hold on me that made me leave my husband and plan yes plan a future with him. It gets wrost I have 2 kids that is now living in a single parent home. I can’t be happy because of the guilt. No man can love me like my husband does or did. Please men and women don’t open that door until you shut the other one.

@The Fly Guy

Your right, I’ve never given much credence to “all the good men are taken” argument either… problem is those men are too busy chasing the many women that are tainted, stuck, damaged, in denial, or simply “sucker for love”.

Rightfully so, even the fly guys chase those women; many times those are the best ones, they love the hardest and the longest…

Test

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