Fly Perspectives

What Should I Call You?

So things have been going well between me and mystery woman X … I mean really well. And while I’m happy about our progress, there’s one impending question that I’m sure neither one of us will be ready to address when the time comes.

“What will we call each other?”

Will she be my girlfriend? My boo? My future baby mama? The options are both endless and frustrating. What’s most amazing is that we’re certainly not alone in this dilemma. According to Jesse Shiedlower, who serves as the editor at large of the Oxford English Dictionary, “People feel a real need for a term that refers to one’s romantic partner that does not sound childish. ‘Partner’ sounds too official. ‘Companion’ sounds too unromantic. ‘Lover’ is too explicit. ‘Boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ seem inappropriate unless you’re a teenager. ‘POSSLQ’ sounds too stupid or bureaucratic.” (Fun fact: POSSLQ, an acronym for “Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters,” was used in the late 1970s by the U.S. Census.)

Which brings us to our Fly Question of the Day.

Have you ever had trouble referring to the person you’re romantic with? What word did you finally settle on, and why? Share your stories below.

Up For Discussion

Comments are disallowed for this post.

  1. 1


    yes

    “we talking”

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  2. 2


    pro

    Friends With Not Many Benefits

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  3. 3


    fashionista

    if we’re at the point where we need titles or names for each other, i like to go with partner. a ‘partner’ implies off the bat that there are two people involved in the relationship and therefore both people need to work and be engaged in the relationship for it to work.

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  4. 4


    Cherish Cherish

    Although me and my current boyfriend have been dating since 2003, I have just recently became comfortable with referring to him as my boyfriend. Even after we had a child together I still wouldnt call him my boyfriend, I simply referred to him as my sons father. Maybe about 4 mos ago, was the first time I referred to him as my boyfriend

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  5. 5


    chrissy snow

    MY MAN……that’s what imma call him,lol

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  6. 6


    Bahama

    that negro…what? it has romantical underterones…lmao just kit-ting, kinda.. person i’m seeing is what i usually use…but yea that label thing is hard. And “seeing” implies yea we are together but it’s really not all that serious kind of thing.

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  7. 7


    The Fly Guy The Fly Guy

    Ummm Chrissy….How about you try calling him your husband…lol

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  8. 8


    chrissy snow

    @ FG, i feel as if you be picking on me,lol is it the hi-light of ya day

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  9. 9


    chrissy snow

    lmao @ bammy, i think imma have to go with what you said, that negro, it is kinda romantic if you say it the right way….

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  10. 10


    The Fly Guy The Fly Guy

    oh never that Chrissy. I’ve got lots of love for you. Sometimes you force me to comment though. I’ll do better ;-)

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  11. 11


    chrissy snow

    oh never that Chrissy. I’ve got lots of love for you. Sometimes you force me to comment though. I’ll do better ;-)
    ^^^^ditto on the love part but STOP LYING… you KNOW you are not gonna do any kinda better, FG, lmao..

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  12. 12


    Reina

    I don’t really do titles. Just “mine!” LOL I refer to him by his name, and if someone asks, I usually say “I’m in a relationship with” or “I’m seeing this guy…” Boyfriend sounds so grade school, and lover may be too explicit for American sensibilities.

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  13. 13


    Ladylove

    I have been with my guy for a few years, and I call him Bae. My mom and dad call each other that, but I like.

    If he is getting on my nerves, I can make make my voice a little deeper and bug my eyes out and he knows I mean business.

    But if I am in the mood, I can whisper it with a little grin and he really knows what time it is.

    It’s universal.

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  14. 14


    The Fly Guy The Fly Guy

    @Ladylove,

    So you two have established your own language I see.

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  15. 15


    The Fly Guy The Fly Guy

    @Reina, I feel you on the “mine” title…lol

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  16. 16


    Ladylove

    FG, we have and it works for us. He calls me boo though. Idk, it just works. Have I mentioned that I love your site.

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  17. 17


    chrissy snow

    MY SISTER HAS AN ISSUE WITH WOMEN CALLING THEY MEN ‘DADDY’ LOL I CALL MY HUSBAND DADDY ALLLLLL THE TIME, SPECIALLY WHEN I WANT SOMETHING, BUT MY SISTER IS ALWAYS LIKE WHY YOU CALL HIM THAT IS HE YA PIMP??? LMAO IONO JUST THOUGHT I’D SHARE THAT

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  18. 18


    The Fly Guy The Fly Guy

    So what does he call you Chrissy?

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  19. 19


    chrissy snow

    @ FG sweetheart, red, ummm i can’t say the other name cause it’s a short version of my REAL name, lol but i like it when he calls me sweetheart…not sweetie, or sweet thang, but sweetheart, i think that is just too fly that he still thinks i am sweet….

    Thursday, July 31, 2008
  20. 20


    Kiwi

    If oyu have not committed or made it official…you guys are still dating/seeing each other or the famous…you guys are “talking”.

    That girl is someone your dating is fine. As longs as your dating her exclusivily and then you can move up to the actually in a relationship.

    Friday, August 1, 2008
  21. 21


    Kiwi

    Oh I never give pet names or cutsy names unless his is my man…but the guy i was seeing I loved it when he called me “baby”. That let me know right there that we are more than just talking…that there is progression for a relationship.

    Friday, August 1, 2008
  22. 22


    Nikki P

    I don’t care what I get called, just don’t calme late for dinner! Ha Ha ( Corny I know)
    But I’ll have to agree with Baby. But when talking with other, say the lady your seeing or dating. I never liked the “we talking” phrase. You talk to everybody right?

    Saturday, August 2, 2008
  23. 23


    Badazznell Badazznell

    We been together for 3 1/2 yrs. We haven’t done the title thing but he calls me his BG or Pretty. He likes the “daddy” thing why idk but most men seem to enjoy that. But like Chrissy Snow I use it when I want something. Other than that he’s my Baby or Stinky Butt

    Monday, August 4, 2008

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