I actually pick up on signs really well and I have learned to take them and move on but in the past I must admit that there were obvious signs that I knowingly chose to ignore becuase what I was pursuing was something that I wanted so bad. As for people ignoring my signs, well when it comes to relationships I dont normally show signs, or subtle hints I am usually very blunt and straight to the point as not to waste time.

Dope perspective. Yeah, I’ve been in that situation before. I did everything to let her down easy, but she just kept calling and showing up at my house. Finally I had to be an asshole. Shit sucks, but sometimes you have to do that for them to get the point. She probably still hates my guts.

I agree with you Cherish. I’ve ignored signs before. I think it was my pride that made me believe that I could change her mind. As far as women catching my signs. Hell, I don’t give them. I just tell them straight up how it is or isn’t gonna be. Call me an asshole, but it works.

Damn Cherish and Davey Boy,

You cats are cold. I’m actually scared of being blunt, so I drop signs ALL day. I’m not tryna have a chick putting a hit out on me, because she didn’t like the way I kicked her to the curb. A woman scorned is something else.

So you mean to tell me, that the two of you always tell it like it is? You’ve never been in a situation where you tried to drop hints instead of coming straight out with it/

ok FG, I need to start hanging out with U. All the hot women are on Ur site. LOL. U had the one from yesterday, and now Aura. She’s hot. I need to give her a new man to keep in her pictures. She’d never have to cut me out. Will U pass the message on for Ur boy? (j/k, but if you do it I wont be mad)

@ BC and FG
Why waste time dropping hints? Then when the person does take the hint what do you end up doing in the end? Giving it to them straight right? So why not just do that from the door? I dont think there is anything wrong with saying Im not interested or I dont think you are quite what Im looking for in a partner. I mean you dont have to be rude about it but I feel like lets just nip this in the bud before you get too caught up.

co-sign. she’s hot.

LMFAO @ her cutting dude’s picture out. It’s probably still his screensaver. HELLLLL NAWWW!!!!!!!!!

@Cherish,

I agree with you 100%, so don’t mistake what I was saying. What I was asking was, “Is that always your policy, or have you ever been in a situation where you took the less confrontational way out, and tried to just drop hints?”

Ya’ll are such boys. FYI, most women find it attractive if a man can be discreet and mature with his. We don’t want to hear “Dayyumm Shawty you fine!” That’s not cute.

Damn, I forgot to comment addressing the cat calls…lol. Yes, I’ve been guilty ignoring signs before. I think I just wanted to hope that things would change at some point (sigh)

Damn badgyrl, why you gotta hate on the fellas? Sounds like someone is a little jealous that a fellow member of the sisterhood is getting some shine. Relax. It aint that deep. They were just playing.

I can’t wait for FG to feature some dude that you women find sexy like Idris Elba or somebody, we’ll see if you’re still talking that talk.

Boy I tell ya. The double standard of women.

Today yes it is always my policy but in the past when I was younger it wasnt. When I was younger I was always afraid to turn a guy down and I always attracted alot of guys because I look a lot older than I really am. So when I was 14 and 15 and meeting guys who were 27 and 28, I was afraid to say to them I’m not interested. What was I afraid of? Im not quite sure probably had a lot to do with trying to avoid confrontations because guys where Im from dont take no easily and my sisters and I had to fight on several occasions because she had crushed someones ego in front of his boys. But moving forward today every man I meet that I dont feel is promising, or someone who I have been dating and no longer feel has a future with me, I end the relationship abruptly.

Oh snap, we got some new blood up in here. Be careful Mr. Biggs (wait. I can’t call another dude that) … you better be careful M.B. these women up in here can be ruthless.

I feel that. Where you from Cherish?

Philly

Oh ok. I can see why you were hesitant to say no ;-)

I;m not hating. I’m just making an observation. Some men believe they really have a shot at a woman by approaching then in that neanderthollish manner. And I for one, don’t think it’s attractive.

I try to be as upfront as possible because most people don’t like to heed the truth. If I don’t answer nor return your calls, have an exit strategy for each date offer, well, you should probably pursue someone else. Sometimes, you have to be brutal just to get this person out of your life. Guys, in my experience, occasionally have a hard time accepting that they’re not as irresistible as it seems in their mind. I think I heed signs, well, but I find most of my female friends do not. “Maybe his aunt really did die for the umpteenth time.” “Maybe he really was giving his ex-girlfriend CPR.”

Optimism is a hard thing to let go of. It is why we’re still in Iraq, right?

Yeah Reina, that’s exactly why we’re still there. So it’s time for me to hear from women. I know why men ignore the signs; but for you women, what were some reasons why you ignored the obvious signs that the guy wasn’t either interested, or up to no good?

I think that people who resort to signs are cowards

i am holding out hope that El Debarge will one day make a comeback, lol that is all.

you KNOW i had to come throo and say what’s up tho FG….

If there was one person holding out hope for an El DeBarge comeback, why did I know that it would be the infamous Chrissy Snow…lol.

i am hoding out hope for them FG, and New Edition, all of em, including Bobby, oh, and Jodeci as well….lol

and since when is Chrissy infamous?

The reason why I ignored the signs was because I wanted that person so badly. I mean he was the first guy who treated me like a real woman, so I turned the other cheek alot because I longed for taht feeling of womanhood and it seemed as if he were the only one giving it to me. I felt that the things he was doing were things all men do and I didnt want to wait for another man to seek me. I felt it was best to just stick with what I had

wow cherish, i feel ya on that, i think i was a sign ignorer too gawd coming to FG blog makes me realize stuff bout myself i never wanted to face, lmao…

and u know what chrissy? It wasnt that I didnt know i was doing it, I was making up the excuses for him and knew i waswrong it was I just didnt care. I just wanted to be loved and he he made me feel loved and I wasnt gonna let nothing take that feeling away from me. I didnt care who I saw him riding with (I would be like oh thats just his cousin, oh he just kissed her on the mouth becuase thats what they family must do), who i found pictures of, who was calling my phone tellin me, I was just a fool.

cherish i swear i feel you girl, lol it’s like you in a dang trance and you see what you doing, and you wanna step out of yourself and slap some sense into your own damn body…..but them ole suave ass dudes can do that tho, make you feel like you the only one he loves, even tho he got several he telling the same thing to, and you can know it, see it with your own eyes, but his drug inducing convo got you gone…..lol

i mean i was so head over heels that this man had the other girl living in his house wit him tellin me we not sleepin together and had my ass on the okey-doke like okay i believe u knowing damn well he just got finished poking her and was ready to start poking me. The funny thing is Im so Young and have already been thru so much people cant believe my age once they have heard my story.

Cherish/Chrissy:

I’m with you both. Sometimes, the desire for companionship will make us tolerate and ignore the most blatant signs.

I had a mega crush on this guy a few years ago, but it wasn’t mutual. I didn’t want to acknowlege that, however. So though I was always approaching him or trying to be in his presence and he never in mine, I’d convice myself that it was because he was intimidated. It wasn’t an active pursuit, rather I was trying to persuade him to pursue me through Jedi mind tricks. Fortunately, when he asked me to hook him up with a friend, I got the point.

But man, I wanted him!

reina. thats exactly why i think it always pays to be blunt. Because if that guy would have just told you he wasnt interested, then you wouldnt havehad to waste your time playing cat and mouse games. Although,in his defense, you were blunt with him either so he could have been oblivious to your mind games since you werent his focus

Everyone is making great points. I feel like double dutch. I’m just trying to figure out how to jump in.

I put no blame on him. I was never upfront with him until I got some alcohol in my system. Liquid courage, and it was usually ended up in my saying something like “I’d like to **** you.” Never did I say that I was interested in dating him. About a year later, I did confess it to him after I was over the crush.

@ Mr. Biggs
just throw it out there, I would love to hear a mans take on what is being said

I hope the dude who I cut out of the pic doesn’t read Fly Guy Chronicles. lol

I agree that being blunt early on is always the best option. I hate being led on, and this way no one gets their feelings hurt. Games are played out.

lol @Aura. Yeah girl. He’s gonna be looking for you…lol

I’ve been in that situation before. I was completely infatuated with this guy who kept “losing my phone number” and never made any effort to spend any time with me. I was only 17 though; rather than to grasp the fact that he wasn’t that into me, I blatantly ignored all of the gazillions of signs and kept hope alive. And now, I’m dropping hints to this one guy I’m really not into. I’m too much of a coward to tell him straight up that I’d rather just be friends. It would be much easier if the guy was a complete jackass; at least I could just tell him off.

@Chrissy Snow: I was dead at the El Debarge comment! LOL

I’ve been there before too… I guess everyone has at some point. But I do have to say, why do some people throw out the MIXED signals? It’s one thing if you’re always too busy to talk, never call me, etc. I get it, loud & clear. But if one day you call & tell me about how you want to go on vacation with me, how you can’t wait to see me and spend the weekend with me, but when *I* call, you’re not available to talk, and when the weekend comes up you now have a million other unimportant things to do and leave me hanging, it leaves a girl confused like a mo-fo.

this is bomb diggy! Creative introspect. mannnn i heard that lost my phone shyt…lemme just tell ya i had this rich dude that claims he didn’t call me back cuz he lost his BlackBerry like 4 times!! funny thing is he always ends up calling my a$$ back when i’m ready to write it off. And these days there’s nothing more slap-in-the faceish than unanswered texts. People can safely say, “oh i didn’t get it!” Two questions…why aren’t people straight-forward and on the flipside, why don’t we adhere to red flags? We’re afraid to be ‘alone’

i agree wit songbird, its those mixed signals that get ya

but all that is is he has other chicks on the roster and he just wants to string u along when the other ones fall through, which should be a red flag in itself cuz who wants to be last on anyone’s list?

i was in this situation recently, the guy didnt even do anything special, i ignored the signs simply because he was fine and i was infatuated wit him, any kinda contact even a text message made me happy so i let the back & forth continue for a sec, but one day u realize ur just wasting ur time and move on

& maybe aura didnt get his permission to be posted on the net so she cut him out

or maybe he was some random dude that wanted to take a pic when the cameras rolled around and she was being a good sport

*my optimist side* lol

I am pretty good at signs and after reading, “He’s Just Not That into You,” I became ok with admitting when a man didn’t want me. Even when his mouth is saying something totally conflicting, I can recognize that actions speak much louder!